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Anon had a hater living rent free in his head for 7 years | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)23:28.11 No.412424646 >>412425018 >>412429058 >>412436391 >>412436659 >>412436981 >>412439415 >>412423415 (OP) The first hatemail i ever got was from xXCARCraZYXx because i died defending the flag in halo 3. OMG chop ur ballz off- was what he sent. After that day i periodically checked his profile every day for about 7 years. Just to see how his life went. 2 years after he sent that message, he dropped Halo 3 entirely for MW2. a year after that he changed his motto to 'l love you Megan' Probably his gf. A few months after that he changed his motto to USMC Semper Fi. A litle after that he changed his bio to some rambling b------- about being careful who you upset because you never know when a Marine could be stood behind you. 4 months after that his profile became very anti-government,I guess the marines wasn't for him. Some time after this i managed to find his FB account and i finally saw who he was, A short, ugly p------------ that tried oh so desperately to please daddy. Shortly before i stopped keeping up with him I saw that he had an uggo girlfriend and that she was pregnant. She lost it about 5 months in and he posted one of those 'RI.P Martin, Daddy loves you' on his profile. That's when i PM'd him a screenshot of the message he sent me with 'I'm glad your retard baby is dead'. I f------ won that one, hater.
Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)23:28.11 No.412424646 >>412425018 >>412429058 >>412436391 >>412436659 >>412436981 >>412439415 >>412423415 (OP) The first hatemail i ever got was from xXCARCraZYXx because i died defending the flag in halo 3. OMG chop ur ballz off- was what he sent. After that day i periodically checked his profile every day for about 7 years. Just to see how his life went. 2 years after he sent that message, he dropped Halo 3 entirely for MW2. a year after that he changed his motto to 'l love you Megan' Probably his gf. A few months after that he changed his motto to USMC Semper Fi. A litle after that he changed his bio to some rambling b------- about being careful who you upset because you never know when a Marine could be stood behind you. 4 months after that his profile became very anti-government,I guess the marines wasn't for him. Some time after this i managed to find his FB account and i finally saw who he was, A short, ugly p------------ that tried oh so desperately to please daddy. Shortly before i stopped keeping up with him I saw that he had an uggo girlfriend and that she was pregnant. She lost it about 5 months in and he posted one of those 'RI.P Martin, Daddy loves you' on his profile. That's when i PM'd him a screenshot of the message he sent me with 'I'm glad your retard baby is dead'. I f------ won that one, hater.

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Anon gets a PS4 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/20/21(Sat)16:36:21 No.867058729 >be me >around october 2020 >my old ass pc is terrible for video games at this point >decide to get something new >i find a ps4 >it has a very cheap price >realize i have a discount code for the site im using to buy it >i end up paying half the price >feelsgoodman.png >i get a ps4 and some games for cheap on ebay >i finally get it a month later >looking on /v/ >writing a thread asking a question about my ps4 "Oh my PS5 was acting like that, just do this." >waitwhat.jpg >goes on google >finds out ps5 came out recently >looks for ps5 on shopping site >its really cheap >realizes i could've gotten it for the same price i got the ps4 for with the discount code %3D >mfw
Anonymous 11/20/21(Sat)16:36:21 No.867058729 >be me >around october 2020 >my old ass pc is terrible for video games at this point >decide to get something new >i find a ps4 >it has a very cheap price >realize i have a discount code for the site im using to buy it >i end up paying half the price >feelsgoodman.png >i get a ps4 and some games for cheap on ebay >i finally get it a month later >looking on /v/ >writing a thread asking a question about my ps4 "Oh my PS5 was acting like that, just do this." >waitwhat.jpg >goes on google >finds out ps5 came out recently >looks for ps5 on shopping site >its really cheap >realizes i could've gotten it for the same price i got the ps4 for with the discount code %3D >mfw

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Anon talks about fanfics. | /r/Greentext

>be me >write a super f----long autistic series that is blatant self-insert fanfiction where i meet all of mine personal heroes, everyone i hate suffers immensely while everyone i likes adores me [especially my unrequited crush], i do nothing wrong and the world revolves only around me and what i like 218 KB PNG >be Dante Alighieri pic unrelated
>be me >write a super f----long autistic series that is blatant self-insert fanfiction where i meet all of mine personal heroes, everyone i hate suffers immensely while everyone i likes adores me [especially my unrequited crush], i do nothing wrong and the world revolves only around me and what i like 218 KB PNG >be Dante Alighieri pic unrelated

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Anon's teacher hides monkey sex from him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:07:21 No.64729773 >be me >middle school >teacher is talking about std's >says you can only catch it by having relations with someone else >I conclude this is a fallacy since 107 KB JPG there had to be someone who had it without having sex and he's the one who started it >ask the teacher >"you can catch it by having sex anon" >know he didn't awnser the question on purpose but whatever >flash forward to now >i now know how patient zero caught aids >mfw my teacher didn't have the heart to tell me someone f----- a monkey
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:07:21 No.64729773 >be me >middle school >teacher is talking about std's >says you can only catch it by having relations with someone else >I conclude this is a fallacy since 107 KB JPG there had to be someone who had it without having sex and he's the one who started it >ask the teacher >"you can catch it by having sex anon" >know he didn't awnser the question on purpose but whatever >flash forward to now >i now know how patient zero caught aids >mfw my teacher didn't have the heart to tell me someone f----- a monkey

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anon is dying inside | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/21(Sat)23:48:50 No.867062841 >last year >there's this girl I really love >we had a short adventure together but we had to go our separate ways >after 3 years finally decide to contact her again >she's happy to hear from me again but immediately let me know that she has a boyfriend now and don't want to give me false 8 KB JPG hope >"Yeah no worries I just wanna know how you're doing" >l'm single myself but I let her believe that I have a gf to not give the impression that I didn't progress after her >We talk and snapchat for months >One day she start the conversation by telling me she broke up with her bf >Didn't ask for it, she told me herself immediately >a sign maybe ? >Now I consider telling her "Oh what a coincidence I broke up with my gf as well" >But I'm afraid it's gonna come off as the guy jsut taking advantage of a girl who just broke up >Decide to keep the facade up >Take my time and not rush things >Well after a while she found another bf >When I finally tell her how I feel about us she tells me she considered it but that she has a boyfriend now and doesn't see herself breaking up with him >Since I told her I could never see her as a friend she wishes me all the best, thanks me for everything and delete me on snapchat >l had it...I had it and I blew it up by taking too long >l would've offered her the world >And now she's gone >Don't be like me
: Anonymous 11/20/21(Sat)23:48:50 No.867062841 >last year >there's this girl I really love >we had a short adventure together but we had to go our separate ways >after 3 years finally decide to contact her again >she's happy to hear from me again but immediately let me know that she has a boyfriend now and don't want to give me false 8 KB JPG hope >"Yeah no worries I just wanna know how you're doing" >l'm single myself but I let her believe that I have a gf to not give the impression that I didn't progress after her >We talk and snapchat for months >One day she start the conversation by telling me she broke up with her bf >Didn't ask for it, she told me herself immediately >a sign maybe ? >Now I consider telling her "Oh what a coincidence I broke up with my gf as well" >But I'm afraid it's gonna come off as the guy jsut taking advantage of a girl who just broke up >Decide to keep the facade up >Take my time and not rush things >Well after a while she found another bf >When I finally tell her how I feel about us she tells me she considered it but that she has a boyfriend now and doesn't see herself breaking up with him >Since I told her I could never see her as a friend she wishes me all the best, thanks me for everything and delete me on snapchat >l had it...I had it and I blew it up by taking too long >l would've offered her the world >And now she's gone >Don't be like me

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what the fuck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 50384873 >have dream about f------ bugs bunny >wake up >not attracted to women ??? ??? anymore what the f---
Anonymous 1 hour ago 50384873 >have dream about f------ bugs bunny >wake up >not attracted to women ??? ??? anymore what the f---

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

>>579269740 (OP) >few months ago >still shake when I type this >be 18 >be 267 Ibs. >at game stop >in line about to purchase final fantasy 20 >meet 10/10 cashier girl >"So..uh.you wanna buy this game." >"Sure, why not?" I reply all baddassly as I adjust my trench coat >see classless swagbros buying the new call of duty game behind me >they rudely tell the girl: >"Hey bitch, i have a game for you to check out." >l say with fury: >"Never call a lady that. Apologize..NOW." >they shiver >one comes at me after pulling it a switch blade >l do a 360 spin kick to his classless face >he falls unconscious >l say, "Just couldn't FACE it, huh?" >everyone claps >other kid pulls an Uzi >girl screams >before he can do anything, I pull the katana out of my cargo shorts >cut him in half before first clip is shot >"Nothing personal kid." >swish fedora >other kids run at me but I pull out my Yu Gi Oh cards and ninja star their foreheads >"Are you okay M'lady?" | ask the girl >"Uh.yeah.gee that sure was cool of you, maybe I can give you a b------ sometime?" >smirk >"Thanks for the game, madam, but.." >spin fedora >".You're not my type." >l am euphoric I'm sorry
>>579269740 (OP) >few months ago >still shake when I type this >be 18 >be 267 Ibs. >at game stop >in line about to purchase final fantasy 20 >meet 10/10 cashier girl >"So..uh.you wanna buy this game." >"Sure, why not?" I reply all baddassly as I adjust my trench coat >see classless swagbros buying the new call of duty game behind me >they rudely tell the girl: >"Hey bitch, i have a game for you to check out." >l say with fury: >"Never call a lady that. Apologize..NOW." >they shiver >one comes at me after pulling it a switch blade >l do a 360 spin kick to his classless face >he falls unconscious >l say, "Just couldn't FACE it, huh?" >everyone claps >other kid pulls an Uzi >girl screams >before he can do anything, I pull the katana out of my cargo shorts >cut him in half before first clip is shot >"Nothing personal kid." >swish fedora >other kids run at me but I pull out my Yu Gi Oh cards and ninja star their foreheads >"Are you okay M'lady?" | ask the girl >"Uh.yeah.gee that sure was cool of you, maybe I can give you a b------ sometime?" >smirk >"Thanks for the game, madam, but.." >spin fedora >".You're not my type." >l am euphoric I'm sorry

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Anon gets TOPPED | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)11:56:09 No.862547989 >be me, not gay >have an irresistibly huge attraction to cocks, especially small feminine ones >don't really want to touch them, just want to f--- someone with 77 KB JPG one >realize God made femboys for this exact reason >set my Tinder bio to femboys only >have 5+ wanting me in a few hours >go through 3 of them within a few days, women never felt like this, it was an addiction >they keep calling me gay for some reason, but I'm not, it's not gay to f--- femboys I'm correct, right anons? Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)11:57:10 No.862548030 >>862547989 (OP) # your gay as f--- h---
: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)11:56:09 No.862547989 >be me, not gay >have an irresistibly huge attraction to cocks, especially small feminine ones >don't really want to touch them, just want to f--- someone with 77 KB JPG one >realize God made femboys for this exact reason >set my Tinder bio to femboys only >have 5+ wanting me in a few hours >go through 3 of them within a few days, women never felt like this, it was an addiction >they keep calling me gay for some reason, but I'm not, it's not gay to f--- femboys I'm correct, right anons? Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)11:57:10 No.862548030 >>862547989 (OP) # your gay as f--- h---

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Anon got STDs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)01:19:42 No.66236816 >have sex for first time at 22 with attractive woman >hate it, didn't enjoy it at all >lasted several hours until she was too sore to continue >she said she really enjoyed it and wants to do it again 35 KB JPG >go to her bathroom, look at my body in the mirror and feel disgusting what does it mean r9k? is sex evil or just not that big a deal? Is something wrong with me?
: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)01:19:42 No.66236816 >have sex for first time at 22 with attractive woman >hate it, didn't enjoy it at all >lasted several hours until she was too sore to continue >she said she really enjoyed it and wants to do it again 35 KB JPG >go to her bathroom, look at my body in the mirror and feel disgusting what does it mean r9k? is sex evil or just not that big a deal? Is something wrong with me?

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Anon is gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)21:14:08 No.786762596 >be me >gay >have 6' 10" boyfriend >mfw i have the actual big gay 21 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)21:14:08 No.786762596 >be me >gay >have 6' 10" boyfriend >mfw i have the actual big gay 21 KB JPG

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To shoot or not to shoot? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous = 01/10/21(Sun)03:54:34 No.47924637 >burglar breaks into your house to steal stuff >you're in the living room watching tv, with a revolver right next to you 83 KB JPG >he sees you, grabs a lamp and swings it at you trying to knock you unconscious >he misses, you grab your revolver and shoot him in the chest >he falls down incapacitated >you call 911 >they send an ambulance taking him to the hospital >you shot him in one of his lungs, causing it to collapse so the doctors had to remove it >you have to pay for an organ donor, costing more than what he would have stolen if he got away with robbing your house wat do /k/?
: Anonymous = 01/10/21(Sun)03:54:34 No.47924637 >burglar breaks into your house to steal stuff >you're in the living room watching tv, with a revolver right next to you 83 KB JPG >he sees you, grabs a lamp and swings it at you trying to knock you unconscious >he misses, you grab your revolver and shoot him in the chest >he falls down incapacitated >you call 911 >they send an ambulance taking him to the hospital >you shot him in one of his lungs, causing it to collapse so the doctors had to remove it >you have to pay for an organ donor, costing more than what he would have stolen if he got away with robbing your house wat do /k/?

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Anon likes root beer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)23:22:25 No.867039397 >Be me >Drink 2 liters of root beer >Left arm hurts 329 KВ GIF
: Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)23:22:25 No.867039397 >Be me >Drink 2 liters of root beer >Left arm hurts 329 KВ GIF

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Anon tries reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/20(Sat)12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >bored af >create reddit acc just for mocking on f--- >tries to post something on any community >"you don't have enough karma to post" 155 KB PNG >post removed >tries to comment >"you don't have enough karma to comment" >google how do i get f------ karma? >"you get karma by posting and commenting" f--- reddit
: Anonymous 01/18/20(Sat)12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >bored af >create reddit acc just for mocking on f--- >tries to post something on any community >"you don't have enough karma to post" 155 KB PNG >post removed >tries to comment >"you don't have enough karma to comment" >google how do i get f------ karma? >"you get karma by posting and commenting" f--- reddit

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Anon can do pushups | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)05:06:00 No.64282329 >senior in high school >teacher makes us do 10 pushups >look around >people laying on the ground, doing pushups with s----- form and knees on the ground >majority of the class can't even do 169 KB PNG a single pushup
: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)05:06:00 No.64282329 >senior in high school >teacher makes us do 10 pushups >look around >people laying on the ground, doing pushups with s----- form and knees on the ground >majority of the class can't even do 169 KB PNG a single pushup

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Anon trolls his school mates | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to the cinema | /r/Greentext

File: 1442571422947 jpg (220 KB, 1182x966) Anonymous 03/07/16(Mon)18:05:16 No.672747306 (Reply] > 22672748164 >be me >going to see the viewing of Zootopia >in the theater here they have an RPX viewing place where you can reserve seats >reserve the entire row, costs me almost $150 >this is the best row, the one right by the stairs >the one that all the moms with their little s---- go to sit at because it's the easiest to get to >sit right in the middle >hot cooked food to the left, drink, popcorn to the right >moms start pouring in with their spawn >trying to sit down >"sorry but all of these seats are reserved" >"for who?" >"for me" >"you can't do that >"yes, I can" >almost every single one of them ask to go see a manager, carrying their spawn along with them >manager comes in, I show him the tickets with the seat spot numbers as proof that I reserved the seats >"sorry ma'am, he reserved them, but there are plenty of other seats to sit at >at this point they don't even care where they sit, they just don't want me to win >they start complaining to the manager about how it's b------- that I get to reserve every seat in the row and how they should change their policy to where each person can only reserve one seat and bla bla bla >manager backs me up though, what a trooper >they accept defeat and take their seats >few moments later, some people come in without kids, and go to sit down in the row I reserved >soccer mom in the row above me tells them in a very bitchy way "you can't sit there, he reserved every single seat in that row just for him. It's b------- >"no it's fine, you guys can sit here" >this just pisses her off more >she storms out and gets a manager again >hear her yelling at the manager about how he's discriminating against her >she threatens to leave >he kid starts crying >she admits defeat again and sits down >l audibly laugh >"that's it" >she grabs her kid by the arm and leaves >mfw
File: 1442571422947 jpg (220 KB, 1182x966) Anonymous 03/07/16(Mon)18:05:16 No.672747306 (Reply] > 22672748164 >be me >going to see the viewing of Zootopia >in the theater here they have an RPX viewing place where you can reserve seats >reserve the entire row, costs me almost $150 >this is the best row, the one right by the stairs >the one that all the moms with their little s---- go to sit at because it's the easiest to get to >sit right in the middle >hot cooked food to the left, drink, popcorn to the right >moms start pouring in with their spawn >trying to sit down >"sorry but all of these seats are reserved" >"for who?" >"for me" >"you can't do that >"yes, I can" >almost every single one of them ask to go see a manager, carrying their spawn along with them >manager comes in, I show him the tickets with the seat spot numbers as proof that I reserved the seats >"sorry ma'am, he reserved them, but there are plenty of other seats to sit at >at this point they don't even care where they sit, they just don't want me to win >they start complaining to the manager about how it's b------- that I get to reserve every seat in the row and how they should change their policy to where each person can only reserve one seat and bla bla bla >manager backs me up though, what a trooper >they accept defeat and take their seats >few moments later, some people come in without kids, and go to sit down in the row I reserved >soccer mom in the row above me tells them in a very bitchy way "you can't sit there, he reserved every single seat in that row just for him. It's b------- >"no it's fine, you guys can sit here" >this just pisses her off more >she storms out and gets a manager again >hear her yelling at the manager about how he's discriminating against her >she threatens to leave >he kid starts crying >she admits defeat again and sits down >l audibly laugh >"that's it" >she grabs her kid by the arm and leaves >mfw

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Anon definitely isn't a Nazi | /r/Greentext

File: deutschland.jpg (5 KB, 474x314) Anonymous 11/20/21(Sat)14:53:42 No.867050752 >begins existing in 1871 >almost conquers the world >has to pay ridiculous reparations >can't have more than 100000 people in the military >can't have an airforce >has to demilitarise a vulnerable border region Germany is typing.. >almost conquers the world AGAIN >has to pay even more ridiculous reparations >occupied >almost destroyed as a nation >literally split in two Germany is typing.. >creates Rammstein >4th highest GDP in the world >refuses to elaborate further >leaves deutschland deutschland ueber allen
File: deutschland.jpg (5 KB, 474x314) Anonymous 11/20/21(Sat)14:53:42 No.867050752 >begins existing in 1871 >almost conquers the world >has to pay ridiculous reparations >can't have more than 100000 people in the military >can't have an airforce >has to demilitarise a vulnerable border region Germany is typing.. >almost conquers the world AGAIN >has to pay even more ridiculous reparations >occupied >almost destroyed as a nation >literally split in two Germany is typing.. >creates Rammstein >4th highest GDP in the world >refuses to elaborate further >leaves deutschland deutschland ueber allen

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Anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Johnny Joestar 11/19/21(Fri)08:12:28 No.23228817 >tf when no paraplegic twink bf 212 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)08:22:52 No.23228913 what the hell bro 75 KB JPG
: Anonymous Johnny Joestar 11/19/21(Fri)08:12:28 No.23228817 >tf when no paraplegic twink bf 212 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)08:22:52 No.23228913 what the hell bro 75 KB JPG

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Anon is a thorough brusher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/26/21(Sun)21:40:53 No.65537739 >be me >decide to masturbate in my room >things get a little bit heated and I stick a toothbrush up my butt >my mom walks in and starts yelling at me >she takes the toothbrush away and puts in a plastic baggy 266 KB PNG >she shows it to everyone in our apartment complex just kill me
: Anonymous 09/26/21(Sun)21:40:53 No.65537739 >be me >decide to masturbate in my room >things get a little bit heated and I stick a toothbrush up my butt >my mom walks in and starts yelling at me >she takes the toothbrush away and puts in a plastic baggy 266 KB PNG >she shows it to everyone in our apartment complex just kill me

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Anon knows what a legume is | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)00:59:14 No.5177852 >>5178422 >>5177893 >>5178032 >random people will die from eating a tiny amount of certain nuts because...because they just will, ok?!? Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)01:01:33 No.5177868 >>5177877 >>5177888 >>5177893 >5178032 File: 1629845357095.png (60 KB, 395x388) >Actually, Mr. God, didja know peanuts aren't nuts? As a matter of fact, they're legumes!
Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)00:59:14 No.5177852 >>5178422 >>5177893 >>5178032 >random people will die from eating a tiny amount of certain nuts because...because they just will, ok?!? Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)01:01:33 No.5177868 >>5177877 >>5177888 >>5177893 >5178032 File: 1629845357095.png (60 KB, 395x388) >Actually, Mr. God, didja know peanuts aren't nuts? As a matter of fact, they're legumes!

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