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Anon is gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)21:14:08 No.786762596 >be me >gay >have 6' 10" boyfriend >mfw i have the actual big gay 21 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/06/18(Thu)21:14:08 No.786762596 >be me >gay >have 6' 10" boyfriend >mfw i have the actual big gay 21 KB JPG

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To shoot or not to shoot? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous = 01/10/21(Sun)03:54:34 No.47924637 >burglar breaks into your house to steal stuff >you're in the living room watching tv, with a revolver right next to you 83 KB JPG >he sees you, grabs a lamp and swings it at you trying to knock you unconscious >he misses, you grab your revolver and shoot him in the chest >he falls down incapacitated >you call 911 >they send an ambulance taking him to the hospital >you shot him in one of his lungs, causing it to collapse so the doctors had to remove it >you have to pay for an organ donor, costing more than what he would have stolen if he got away with robbing your house wat do /k/?
: Anonymous = 01/10/21(Sun)03:54:34 No.47924637 >burglar breaks into your house to steal stuff >you're in the living room watching tv, with a revolver right next to you 83 KB JPG >he sees you, grabs a lamp and swings it at you trying to knock you unconscious >he misses, you grab your revolver and shoot him in the chest >he falls down incapacitated >you call 911 >they send an ambulance taking him to the hospital >you shot him in one of his lungs, causing it to collapse so the doctors had to remove it >you have to pay for an organ donor, costing more than what he would have stolen if he got away with robbing your house wat do /k/?

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Anon likes root beer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)23:22:25 No.867039397 >Be me >Drink 2 liters of root beer >Left arm hurts 329 KВ GIF
: Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)23:22:25 No.867039397 >Be me >Drink 2 liters of root beer >Left arm hurts 329 KВ GIF

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Anon tries reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/20(Sat)12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >bored af >create reddit acc just for mocking on f--- >tries to post something on any community >"you don't have enough karma to post" 155 KB PNG >post removed >tries to comment >"you don't have enough karma to comment" >google how do i get f------ karma? >"you get karma by posting and commenting" f--- reddit
: Anonymous 01/18/20(Sat)12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >bored af >create reddit acc just for mocking on f--- >tries to post something on any community >"you don't have enough karma to post" 155 KB PNG >post removed >tries to comment >"you don't have enough karma to comment" >google how do i get f------ karma? >"you get karma by posting and commenting" f--- reddit

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Anon can do pushups | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)05:06:00 No.64282329 >senior in high school >teacher makes us do 10 pushups >look around >people laying on the ground, doing pushups with s----- form and knees on the ground >majority of the class can't even do 169 KB PNG a single pushup
: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)05:06:00 No.64282329 >senior in high school >teacher makes us do 10 pushups >look around >people laying on the ground, doing pushups with s----- form and knees on the ground >majority of the class can't even do 169 KB PNG a single pushup

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Anon trolls his school mates | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to the cinema | /r/Greentext

File: 1442571422947 jpg (220 KB, 1182x966) Anonymous 03/07/16(Mon)18:05:16 No.672747306 (Reply] > 22672748164 >be me >going to see the viewing of Zootopia >in the theater here they have an RPX viewing place where you can reserve seats >reserve the entire row, costs me almost $150 >this is the best row, the one right by the stairs >the one that all the moms with their little s---- go to sit at because it's the easiest to get to >sit right in the middle >hot cooked food to the left, drink, popcorn to the right >moms start pouring in with their spawn >trying to sit down >"sorry but all of these seats are reserved" >"for who?" >"for me" >"you can't do that >"yes, I can" >almost every single one of them ask to go see a manager, carrying their spawn along with them >manager comes in, I show him the tickets with the seat spot numbers as proof that I reserved the seats >"sorry ma'am, he reserved them, but there are plenty of other seats to sit at >at this point they don't even care where they sit, they just don't want me to win >they start complaining to the manager about how it's b------- that I get to reserve every seat in the row and how they should change their policy to where each person can only reserve one seat and bla bla bla >manager backs me up though, what a trooper >they accept defeat and take their seats >few moments later, some people come in without kids, and go to sit down in the row I reserved >soccer mom in the row above me tells them in a very bitchy way "you can't sit there, he reserved every single seat in that row just for him. It's b------- >"no it's fine, you guys can sit here" >this just pisses her off more >she storms out and gets a manager again >hear her yelling at the manager about how he's discriminating against her >she threatens to leave >he kid starts crying >she admits defeat again and sits down >l audibly laugh >"that's it" >she grabs her kid by the arm and leaves >mfw
File: 1442571422947 jpg (220 KB, 1182x966) Anonymous 03/07/16(Mon)18:05:16 No.672747306 (Reply] > 22672748164 >be me >going to see the viewing of Zootopia >in the theater here they have an RPX viewing place where you can reserve seats >reserve the entire row, costs me almost $150 >this is the best row, the one right by the stairs >the one that all the moms with their little s---- go to sit at because it's the easiest to get to >sit right in the middle >hot cooked food to the left, drink, popcorn to the right >moms start pouring in with their spawn >trying to sit down >"sorry but all of these seats are reserved" >"for who?" >"for me" >"you can't do that >"yes, I can" >almost every single one of them ask to go see a manager, carrying their spawn along with them >manager comes in, I show him the tickets with the seat spot numbers as proof that I reserved the seats >"sorry ma'am, he reserved them, but there are plenty of other seats to sit at >at this point they don't even care where they sit, they just don't want me to win >they start complaining to the manager about how it's b------- that I get to reserve every seat in the row and how they should change their policy to where each person can only reserve one seat and bla bla bla >manager backs me up though, what a trooper >they accept defeat and take their seats >few moments later, some people come in without kids, and go to sit down in the row I reserved >soccer mom in the row above me tells them in a very bitchy way "you can't sit there, he reserved every single seat in that row just for him. It's b------- >"no it's fine, you guys can sit here" >this just pisses her off more >she storms out and gets a manager again >hear her yelling at the manager about how he's discriminating against her >she threatens to leave >he kid starts crying >she admits defeat again and sits down >l audibly laugh >"that's it" >she grabs her kid by the arm and leaves >mfw

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Anon definitely isn't a Nazi | /r/Greentext

File: deutschland.jpg (5 KB, 474x314) Anonymous 11/20/21(Sat)14:53:42 No.867050752 >begins existing in 1871 >almost conquers the world >has to pay ridiculous reparations >can't have more than 100000 people in the military >can't have an airforce >has to demilitarise a vulnerable border region Germany is typing.. >almost conquers the world AGAIN >has to pay even more ridiculous reparations >occupied >almost destroyed as a nation >literally split in two Germany is typing.. >creates Rammstein >4th highest GDP in the world >refuses to elaborate further >leaves deutschland deutschland ueber allen
File: deutschland.jpg (5 KB, 474x314) Anonymous 11/20/21(Sat)14:53:42 No.867050752 >begins existing in 1871 >almost conquers the world >has to pay ridiculous reparations >can't have more than 100000 people in the military >can't have an airforce >has to demilitarise a vulnerable border region Germany is typing.. >almost conquers the world AGAIN >has to pay even more ridiculous reparations >occupied >almost destroyed as a nation >literally split in two Germany is typing.. >creates Rammstein >4th highest GDP in the world >refuses to elaborate further >leaves deutschland deutschland ueber allen

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Anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Johnny Joestar 11/19/21(Fri)08:12:28 No.23228817 >tf when no paraplegic twink bf 212 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)08:22:52 No.23228913 what the hell bro 75 KB JPG
: Anonymous Johnny Joestar 11/19/21(Fri)08:12:28 No.23228817 >tf when no paraplegic twink bf 212 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)08:22:52 No.23228913 what the hell bro 75 KB JPG

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Anon is a thorough brusher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/26/21(Sun)21:40:53 No.65537739 >be me >decide to masturbate in my room >things get a little bit heated and I stick a toothbrush up my butt >my mom walks in and starts yelling at me >she takes the toothbrush away and puts in a plastic baggy 266 KB PNG >she shows it to everyone in our apartment complex just kill me
: Anonymous 09/26/21(Sun)21:40:53 No.65537739 >be me >decide to masturbate in my room >things get a little bit heated and I stick a toothbrush up my butt >my mom walks in and starts yelling at me >she takes the toothbrush away and puts in a plastic baggy 266 KB PNG >she shows it to everyone in our apartment complex just kill me

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Anon knows what a legume is | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)00:59:14 No.5177852 >>5178422 >>5177893 >>5178032 >random people will die from eating a tiny amount of certain nuts because...because they just will, ok?!? Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)01:01:33 No.5177868 >>5177877 >>5177888 >>5177893 >5178032 File: 1629845357095.png (60 KB, 395x388) >Actually, Mr. God, didja know peanuts aren't nuts? As a matter of fact, they're legumes!
Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)00:59:14 No.5177852 >>5178422 >>5177893 >>5178032 >random people will die from eating a tiny amount of certain nuts because...because they just will, ok?!? Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)01:01:33 No.5177868 >>5177877 >>5177888 >>5177893 >5178032 File: 1629845357095.png (60 KB, 395x388) >Actually, Mr. God, didja know peanuts aren't nuts? As a matter of fact, they're legumes!

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Anon decides not to kill himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)19:26:15 No.864396347 COMP hqdefault.jpg 23 KB JPG >be me >thinking of killing myself >realise if I kill myself then nikado avocado will have outlived me. >Continue to live
: Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)19:26:15 No.864396347 COMP hqdefault.jpg 23 KB JPG >be me >thinking of killing myself >realise if I kill myself then nikado avocado will have outlived me. >Continue to live

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Anon is a proud Chinese citizen | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: H2PqNkyH 07/25/21(Sun)14:37:21 No.331452024 >be Chinese >wake up at 3am >breakfast: 5 packs of cigarettes and powdered elephant tusk for strong penis >get into car and drive off 679 KB WEBM >see elderly woman with her grandson on sidewalk >veer onto sidewalk to run them over >check rearview mirror >kid's still twitching >hit reverse and finish the job >get on highway >sit in 3 day traffic jam surviving on cigarettes and roadkill soup >arrive at shoe factory in time for my 18 hour shift >spend all day praising glorious leader Xi for wonderful life
: Anonymous (ID: H2PqNkyH 07/25/21(Sun)14:37:21 No.331452024 >be Chinese >wake up at 3am >breakfast: 5 packs of cigarettes and powdered elephant tusk for strong penis >get into car and drive off 679 KB WEBM >see elderly woman with her grandson on sidewalk >veer onto sidewalk to run them over >check rearview mirror >kid's still twitching >hit reverse and finish the job >get on highway >sit in 3 day traffic jam surviving on cigarettes and roadkill soup >arrive at shoe factory in time for my 18 hour shift >spend all day praising glorious leader Xi for wonderful life

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The waiting game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)11:54:40 No.66221066 o Sposita Chap Vegan foed >work is at 4 pm Jnin Mustroom Sardwkh With Quom vagan ham Spnach Rgive you a gule bit sad antit mo >it's 12 >cant do anything between now and then because for some reason my brain is stuck in waiting mode and im only able to focus on the fact that i 79 KB JPG have work in 4 hours f---
: Anonymous 11/19/21(Fri)11:54:40 No.66221066 o Sposita Chap Vegan foed >work is at 4 pm Jnin Mustroom Sardwkh With Quom vagan ham Spnach Rgive you a gule bit sad antit mo >it's 12 >cant do anything between now and then because for some reason my brain is stuck in waiting mode and im only able to focus on the fact that i 79 KB JPG have work in 4 hours f---

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Anon goes to the park | /r/Greentext


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I don’t have no feels | /r/Greentext

Fle. Untiled cag (156 KB, 1041x596) >perhaps the heaviest things that we lift are not our weights, but our feels -anon Motivational.
Fle. Untiled cag (156 KB, 1041x596) >perhaps the heaviest things that we lift are not our weights, but our feels -anon Motivational.

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Anon is a proud american | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:13:04 No.53625789 why is my weight in Ibs higher than kg? A lot of the strong guys at my gym have high kgs. Any way to raise my kg and lower my Ib? ICOC. 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:14:00 No.53625803 - ID te.e >>53625789 (OP) # R(R (e. 50 KB JPG.
: Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:13:04 No.53625789 why is my weight in Ibs higher than kg? A lot of the strong guys at my gym have high kgs. Any way to raise my kg and lower my Ib? ICOC. 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:14:00 No.53625803 - ID te.e >>53625789 (OP) # R(R (e. 50 KB JPG.

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Anon hates fruit tribe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)06:52:53 No.46719974 >>46719859 # >fruit tribe laughs at meat tribe >says meat tribe breath stop early >ice age come >no fruit left >guess who laugh now
: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)06:52:53 No.46719974 >>46719859 # >fruit tribe laughs at meat tribe >says meat tribe breath stop early >ice age come >no fruit left >guess who laugh now

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Leon S. Kennedy, American supercop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/21(Sat)12:28:56 No.34857E >goes to Spain >breaks into a local farmer's house >expects him to speak English >starts babbling about some kidnapped 20 yo roastie >homeowner tells him to get out >he doesn't >homeowner feeling in danger grabs a hatchet to fight off the intruder >Leon shoots him in the head without hesitation >"he was hostile I had to neutralize him Imao" >locals try to defend themselves after they learn an outsider intruder killed a member of their community >Leon goes on a killing spree in the village >it was for muh president daughter what a d-------
: Anonymous 11/20/21(Sat)12:28:56 No.34857E >goes to Spain >breaks into a local farmer's house >expects him to speak English >starts babbling about some kidnapped 20 yo roastie >homeowner tells him to get out >he doesn't >homeowner feeling in danger grabs a hatchet to fight off the intruder >Leon shoots him in the head without hesitation >"he was hostile I had to neutralize him Imao" >locals try to defend themselves after they learn an outsider intruder killed a member of their community >Leon goes on a killing spree in the village >it was for muh president daughter what a d-------

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Anon’s has chest pain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck >can't sleep 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you
: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck >can't sleep 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you

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