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Anon gets comics | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 765881528 2 hr. ago •ee >>765875061 (OP) i got my big brother molested when i was 9 not on purpose but >be me > nice fun summer day. > playing with friends near his uncles house > truck stops and guy gets all friendly with us >asks if we like superhero comics because he had some rare ones he was looking to give out >i wasnt a huge fan and said no but told him my older brother was a super nerd for them > he proceeds to ask me brothers age, what he looked like and where he was > literally give the guy the product description on my bro and that he was currently playing in the park by himself since his only friend was grounded and he was to cool to hang with the little kids > guy drives off and i go back to playing thinking was to give my brother a great surprise like that >come home later, >moms crying > brother is sobbing quietly and getting his statement taken by some lady in a pantsuit > father pulls me aside angry and asks where ive been > get grounded for not being psychic and running home the moment something went wrong (he calmed down and ungrounded me a day later) > wasnt told what happened. just that brother needed to go to special appointments now and i wasnt allowed to play outside ever without a special adult present >i figured it out about a year later when we had another safety talk at school and they mentioned about strangers trying to touch you inappropriately >sonic.thatsnogood.gif > never tell a living soul that i sent that chomo after my brother like a heat seeking missile >brother never the same, but he gave me all his comics so that was cool cool i
Anonymous | 765881528 2 hr. ago •ee >>765875061 (OP) i got my big brother molested when i was 9 not on purpose but >be me > nice fun summer day. > playing with friends near his uncles house > truck stops and guy gets all friendly with us >asks if we like superhero comics because he had some rare ones he was looking to give out >i wasnt a huge fan and said no but told him my older brother was a super nerd for them > he proceeds to ask me brothers age, what he looked like and where he was > literally give the guy the product description on my bro and that he was currently playing in the park by himself since his only friend was grounded and he was to cool to hang with the little kids > guy drives off and i go back to playing thinking was to give my brother a great surprise like that >come home later, >moms crying > brother is sobbing quietly and getting his statement taken by some lady in a pantsuit > father pulls me aside angry and asks where ive been > get grounded for not being psychic and running home the moment something went wrong (he calmed down and ungrounded me a day later) > wasnt told what happened. just that brother needed to go to special appointments now and i wasnt allowed to play outside ever without a special adult present >i figured it out about a year later when we had another safety talk at school and they mentioned about strangers trying to touch you inappropriately >sonic.thatsnogood.gif > never tell a living soul that i sent that chomo after my brother like a heat seeking missile >brother never the same, but he gave me all his comics so that was cool cool i

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Boss 1 Anon 0 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 775720450 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office 704.8 kB JPG REPLY
Anonymous | 775720450 1 min ago >be me >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office 704.8 kB JPG REPLY

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Anon is trapped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)13:36:46 No.44291860 >walk into gym >see penis inspection day sign >turn around >the door is already sealed 107 KB JPG >>44291943 #
: Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)13:36:46 No.44291860 >walk into gym >see penis inspection day sign >turn around >the door is already sealed 107 KB JPG >>44291943 #

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It doesn't even matter anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)14:42:51 No.867174310 >have "in the end" by Linkin park stuck in my head for like 2 days so far >l haven't even heard or seen anything remotely related to the song in months, possibly years >Can't get it out of my head and my brain is constantly repeating the lyrics 1.23 MB PNG Someone f------ help me or I will send myself to god
: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)14:42:51 No.867174310 >have "in the end" by Linkin park stuck in my head for like 2 days so far >l haven't even heard or seen anything remotely related to the song in months, possibly years >Can't get it out of my head and my brain is constantly repeating the lyrics 1.23 MB PNG Someone f------ help me or I will send myself to god

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Brain Pranks Its Human

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)13:08:36 No.64158138 >be brain >chilling in some dude's head >he fell asleep wait check this out >AYO WE'RE FALLING BRO >jumpscare.exe >Imao go back to sleep dumbass 52 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)13:08:36 No.64158138 >be brain >chilling in some dude's head >he fell asleep wait check this out >AYO WE'RE FALLING BRO >jumpscare.exe >Imao go back to sleep dumbass 52 KB JPG

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Anon is a businessman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 20 minuti fa 775863789 : >be me >be 15 >made a homemade tattoo gun >started a tattoo business at my school >make mad money >I live in maryland and weed is illegal here >leagal in D.C. tho >go to D.C. to see family. >go steal weed seeds in middle of night >go to a secluded area to grow my weed >make another business selling weed >richest kid in school >sluts date me for money >Ironicly steal THEIR money >tfw you made a monopoly >tfw those skills acctualy helped me start a successful small LEAGAL business >tfw Im living well while my classmates live like s--- >tfw 2 REPLIES
Anonymous 20 minuti fa 775863789 : >be me >be 15 >made a homemade tattoo gun >started a tattoo business at my school >make mad money >I live in maryland and weed is illegal here >leagal in D.C. tho >go to D.C. to see family. >go steal weed seeds in middle of night >go to a secluded area to grow my weed >make another business selling weed >richest kid in school >sluts date me for money >Ironicly steal THEIR money >tfw you made a monopoly >tfw those skills acctualy helped me start a successful small LEAGAL business >tfw Im living well while my classmates live like s--- >tfw 2 REPLIES

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Take the comfy pill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)17:51:48 No.867141858 >be me >sleep with 5 pillows >unfathomably comfy >be you >not sleep with 5 pillows >not as comfy 12 KB JPG im above you in the food chain. : Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)17:55:27 No.867142108 >>867142299 # : Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)17:57:49 No.867142285 >>867141858 (OP) # Only one pillow but 3 blankets. : Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)17:58:01 No.867142299 >>867142108 # >pillowlets seething Laave me 323 KB PNG
: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)17:51:48 No.867141858 >be me >sleep with 5 pillows >unfathomably comfy >be you >not sleep with 5 pillows >not as comfy 12 KB JPG im above you in the food chain. : Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)17:55:27 No.867142108 >>867142299 # : Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)17:57:49 No.867142285 >>867141858 (OP) # Only one pillow but 3 blankets. : Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)17:58:01 No.867142299 >>867142108 # >pillowlets seething Laave me 323 KB PNG

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Anon thinks Jesus aint shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)15:17:11 No.867136594 >Supposedly the most influential Human in history >All he ever did was go around preaching vague s--- to a small group of people Why is the calender built around his birth and death? Why not maybe Alexander cause he 146 KB JPG actually accomplished more 287 Replies / 20 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)15:17:11 No.867136594 >Supposedly the most influential Human in history >All he ever did was go around preaching vague s--- to a small group of people Why is the calender built around his birth and death? Why not maybe Alexander cause he 146 KB JPG actually accomplished more 287 Replies / 20 Images View Thread

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Anon talks to a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)00:11:28 No.64827515 >be me >uni >spot a super cute girl working the salad bar in the commons >drop dead gorgeous, deep brown eyes and soft, silky black hair >even with COVID masks I could tell she 553 KB PNG was beautiful >chat her up >she had a brace around her index finger, I find out she got mauled by a squirrell trying to feed it >Imao'd with her >shuffle away with my tray of salad like a p---- >decide to approach her at the end of her shift >phone number on a paper, I approach her and shoot my shot >bf, to no one's surprise >I thank her and tell her to have a good day >feel like a retard for a moment, it really seemed she was interested >I see her from time to time working there throughout the year >l always chat up workers there, sometimes I wouldn't immediately recognize her with masks >she clearly felt bad about rejecting me, nice girl >l never felt any regrets Shoot your shot anons, the worst that happens is that they say no. If they're a bitch about it, they're not good people anyways.
: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)00:11:28 No.64827515 >be me >uni >spot a super cute girl working the salad bar in the commons >drop dead gorgeous, deep brown eyes and soft, silky black hair >even with COVID masks I could tell she 553 KB PNG was beautiful >chat her up >she had a brace around her index finger, I find out she got mauled by a squirrell trying to feed it >Imao'd with her >shuffle away with my tray of salad like a p---- >decide to approach her at the end of her shift >phone number on a paper, I approach her and shoot my shot >bf, to no one's surprise >I thank her and tell her to have a good day >feel like a retard for a moment, it really seemed she was interested >I see her from time to time working there throughout the year >l always chat up workers there, sometimes I wouldn't immediately recognize her with masks >she clearly felt bad about rejecting me, nice girl >l never felt any regrets Shoot your shot anons, the worst that happens is that they say no. If they're a bitch about it, they're not good people anyways.

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autobiography of myself (ignore the bosnian flag) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/17(Mon)12:04:24 No.78301820 >My sister laughed at me saying that i have an ass like the Brazilian w----- who put silicone in it. >A girl once pinched my ass while we were making out. >On highschool excursion i had to find w----- prostitutes in the middle of Athens because all the boys told me that if they dont f--- 93 KB PNG anything, they will all f--- me >Bro, dont take this the wrong way, but you have a nice ass >A hot girl i was flirting with once said that i have a better ass than her, and then grabbed it with both hands >A drug detective said that i should never EVER go to jail, even the guards will want a piece of my ass >>78301841 # >>78301843 # >>78301894 # >>78301944 # >>78301976 # >>78302039 # >>78302047 # >>78302783 #
: Anonymous 08/14/17(Mon)12:04:24 No.78301820 >My sister laughed at me saying that i have an ass like the Brazilian w----- who put silicone in it. >A girl once pinched my ass while we were making out. >On highschool excursion i had to find w----- prostitutes in the middle of Athens because all the boys told me that if they dont f--- 93 KB PNG anything, they will all f--- me >Bro, dont take this the wrong way, but you have a nice ass >A hot girl i was flirting with once said that i have a better ass than her, and then grabbed it with both hands >A drug detective said that i should never EVER go to jail, even the guards will want a piece of my ass >>78301841 # >>78301843 # >>78301894 # >>78301944 # >>78301976 # >>78302039 # >>78302047 # >>78302783 #

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Mind size: mega | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)07:28:23 No.66243819 >person shows a clear sign of above average intelligence >BRO I'M A F------ DUMBASS BRO I'M DUMB AF BRO 20 КВ ЈPG
: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)07:28:23 No.66243819 >person shows a clear sign of above average intelligence >BRO I'M A F------ DUMBASS BRO I'M DUMB AF BRO 20 КВ ЈPG

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Anon does a swap | /r/Greentext


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Anon uses Ifunny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)18:35:39 No.867140799 >see green texts on iFunny >Most of em are pretty funny >Decide to try out 4chan >Probably better for me than racist homophobic iFunny anyway >Nevermind 10 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)18:35:39 No.867140799 >see green texts on iFunny >Most of em are pretty funny >Decide to try out 4chan >Probably better for me than racist homophobic iFunny anyway >Nevermind 10 KB JPG

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Anon is a sophomore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)19:33:55 No.867148293 >be me >sophomore college student >haven't trolled in a while bc of the pandemic >activatebrain.jpeg >students at university use groupme/discord, universtiy-related 33 KB JPG servers are public >find instagram pictures of girl normies in class >make fake discord/groupme accounts and join public channels with profile pic as normie college girl >piss everyone off by saying racist stuff >we do a little trolling >f------ in discord/groupme channels reverse image search profile pic and find the real instagram accounts of the girls >girls get harassed and canceled by other students >keep repeating this dozens of times, every girl I have done this too hasn't returned back to class >heard one of them might've also killed themselves but its a rumor as of now, can't confirm How long can I get away with this /b? Can they somehow trace this back to me? I use a lot of VPNS and proxies so l'm basically off the radar. Sometimes I feel like a chess master and all the normies around me are my pawns.
: Anonymous 11/21/21(Sun)19:33:55 No.867148293 >be me >sophomore college student >haven't trolled in a while bc of the pandemic >activatebrain.jpeg >students at university use groupme/discord, universtiy-related 33 KB JPG servers are public >find instagram pictures of girl normies in class >make fake discord/groupme accounts and join public channels with profile pic as normie college girl >piss everyone off by saying racist stuff >we do a little trolling >f------ in discord/groupme channels reverse image search profile pic and find the real instagram accounts of the girls >girls get harassed and canceled by other students >keep repeating this dozens of times, every girl I have done this too hasn't returned back to class >heard one of them might've also killed themselves but its a rumor as of now, can't confirm How long can I get away with this /b? Can they somehow trace this back to me? I use a lot of VPNS and proxies so l'm basically off the radar. Sometimes I feel like a chess master and all the normies around me are my pawns.

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Anon is a dad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous =11/02/15(Mon)16:33:45 No.50235903 >>50236000 >>50236056 File: bloon.png (44 KB, 200x200) >Be sperm donor >One of my kids wants to meet me >Arrange meeting >Autistic nerdy guy >Start the meeting with "Jeez I'm glad I didn't have to raise you" >He starts crying >Walk away This actually happened
Anonymous =11/02/15(Mon)16:33:45 No.50235903 >>50236000 >>50236056 File: bloon.png (44 KB, 200x200) >Be sperm donor >One of my kids wants to meet me >Arrange meeting >Autistic nerdy guy >Start the meeting with "Jeez I'm glad I didn't have to raise you" >He starts crying >Walk away This actually happened

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anon goes to philiphine | /r/Greentext

File: 5622374.png (510 KB, 947x814) O Anonymous E 11/21/21(Sun)10:15:35 No.155347797 >Go to the Philippines >Everyone calls you "Joe" (they call all whyte guys this) >have to resist the urge to say "joe mama" every single time Do you have this problem in your c---?
File: 5622374.png (510 KB, 947x814) O Anonymous E 11/21/21(Sun)10:15:35 No.155347797 >Go to the Philippines >Everyone calls you "Joe" (they call all whyte guys this) >have to resist the urge to say "joe mama" every single time Do you have this problem in your c---?

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Let the bodies hit the floor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)10:03:09 No.65138040 stay hydrated >exercise for the first time in five or six years >can't move this is a threat >actually can't move and it isn't a joke >pleadingly look at the people around the gym and squirm on the floor 624 KB PNG >blood sugar is low >l faint >l wake up a half hour later in the same spot >barely get on my feet >stumble out of the gym
: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)10:03:09 No.65138040 stay hydrated >exercise for the first time in five or six years >can't move this is a threat >actually can't move and it isn't a joke >pleadingly look at the people around the gym and squirm on the floor 624 KB PNG >blood sugar is low >l faint >l wake up a half hour later in the same spot >barely get on my feet >stumble out of the gym

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Anon gets a special visit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)17:15:19 No.845914110 >taking massive s--- >coming out sideways >hurts like hell >feel and hear anus tearing >losing lots of blood >pass out from blood loss >wake up around 15 minutes later 52 KB PNG >go to wipe >cleanwipe.doc >no blood, no s--- >feel around a------ >someone sewn up my gaping wound and cleaned it >blood and s--- still in toilet Thank you mystery a------ mender, i am forever in your debt
: Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)17:15:19 No.845914110 >taking massive s--- >coming out sideways >hurts like hell >feel and hear anus tearing >losing lots of blood >pass out from blood loss >wake up around 15 minutes later 52 KB PNG >go to wipe >cleanwipe.doc >no blood, no s--- >feel around a------ >someone sewn up my gaping wound and cleaned it >blood and s--- still in toilet Thank you mystery a------ mender, i am forever in your debt

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Op is lonely | /r/Greentext


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Anon is an average swedish male | /r/Greentext

> be me > swedish male pic related 27 KB JPG
> be me > swedish male pic related 27 KB JPG

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