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Brolly Problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)18:39:39 No.66274237 >2013 >moved to America >first day of new school >raining like crazy >grab umbrella so I stay dry as | walk to school >as I get closer I bump I to more students 1.45 MB PNG >not a single one is using an umbrella and are just getting soaked Throughout the following years I see this time and again. Why the f--- are Americans so against umbrellas?
: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)18:39:39 No.66274237 >2013 >moved to America >first day of new school >raining like crazy >grab umbrella so I stay dry as | walk to school >as I get closer I bump I to more students 1.45 MB PNG >not a single one is using an umbrella and are just getting soaked Throughout the following years I see this time and again. Why the f--- are Americans so against umbrellas?

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Regrets, I’ve had a few | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autism >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life
: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autism >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life

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Late bloomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)06:22:10 No.66267683 Anyone else /bloomer/ here? >in grad school >have a job >learning to drive >got a girlfriend >got friends who I spend time with 132 KB JPG >going to the gym three times a week Two years ago I was a lonely NEET with no friends, things are looking up lads : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)06:24:00 No.66267694 >>66267683 (OP) # no I'm extremely obese and I smoke there's nothing blooming besides weeds go away >>66268891 #
: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)06:22:10 No.66267683 Anyone else /bloomer/ here? >in grad school >have a job >learning to drive >got a girlfriend >got friends who I spend time with 132 KB JPG >going to the gym three times a week Two years ago I was a lonely NEET with no friends, things are looking up lads : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)06:24:00 No.66267694 >>66267683 (OP) # no I'm extremely obese and I smoke there's nothing blooming besides weeds go away >>66268891 #

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Libertarianism

Anonymous iD: B6E70DRK No.83044520 22 minutes ago >>83044257 (OP) >live in libertarian utopia >wake up >no internet because DARPA was never funded and thus it wasn't developed >eat breakfast >hope I don't die of heavy metal poisoning because there are no regulations regarding food safety >walk outside >get in my car >hope I don't get hit because there's no regulations requiring seat belts or airbags >driving along the dirt road to my job at megacorp because there are no roads >work for 9 hours with a 15 minute break to eat my hopefully toxin free food >drive home from work to greet my daughter >who's completely illiterate and can't go to school because there are no public schools and I can't afford private school >just as I pull up to the house, a guy in a van with free ice cream snatches my daughter and drives off in a cloud of dust >call the private police company >'please note you will be charged $19.95 for this call" >they give me a quote for $1000 to investigate my daughter being kidnapped >only make $800 a month because no labor laws >politely decline >walk home >get stabbed for my shoes >nearby private police contractor can't interfere because I don't have coverage with their company >can't afford to go to the hospital, but then l'd probably die there anyway because there's no requirements for hospitals to practice proper sanitation >megacorp inherits my house because that's what my employment contract said in the I fine print >reflect on how fantastic life is without that oppressive government 1 reply /pol/ imagines a libertarian paradise
Anonymous iD: B6E70DRK No.83044520 22 minutes ago >>83044257 (OP) >live in libertarian utopia >wake up >no internet because DARPA was never funded and thus it wasn't developed >eat breakfast >hope I don't die of heavy metal poisoning because there are no regulations regarding food safety >walk outside >get in my car >hope I don't get hit because there's no regulations requiring seat belts or airbags >driving along the dirt road to my job at megacorp because there are no roads >work for 9 hours with a 15 minute break to eat my hopefully toxin free food >drive home from work to greet my daughter >who's completely illiterate and can't go to school because there are no public schools and I can't afford private school >just as I pull up to the house, a guy in a van with free ice cream snatches my daughter and drives off in a cloud of dust >call the private police company >'please note you will be charged $19.95 for this call" >they give me a quote for $1000 to investigate my daughter being kidnapped >only make $800 a month because no labor laws >politely decline >walk home >get stabbed for my shoes >nearby private police contractor can't interfere because I don't have coverage with their company >can't afford to go to the hospital, but then l'd probably die there anyway because there's no requirements for hospitals to practice proper sanitation >megacorp inherits my house because that's what my employment contract said in the I fine print >reflect on how fantastic life is without that oppressive government 1 reply /pol/ imagines a libertarian paradise

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I feel so bad for this guy. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 ! Replies: >>55869 >>55879 >>55894 >>55905 File: 1364374915091.png-(33 KB, 215x198, 1358324536208.png) >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody possum >think its dead, go to put it in garbage >notice its still breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash it over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:22 No.55869 ! File: 1364376132744.gif-(828 KB, 200x189, 1334303941810.gif) >>55852 Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:39 No.55879 ! File: 1364377160702.jpg-(32 KB, 512x288, 1354770690594.jpg) >>55852
Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 ! Replies: >>55869 >>55879 >>55894 >>55905 File: 1364374915091.png-(33 KB, 215x198, 1358324536208.png) >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody possum >think its dead, go to put it in garbage >notice its still breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash it over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:22 No.55869 ! File: 1364376132744.gif-(828 KB, 200x189, 1334303941810.gif) >>55852 Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:39 No.55879 ! File: 1364377160702.jpg-(32 KB, 512x288, 1354770690594.jpg) >>55852

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Oh well... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: MXOKR33M) 02/21/13(Thu)04:57:05 No.460197458 File: 1361440625692.jpg-(69 KB, 281x356, 34566.jpg) >Fapping one night >Dog keeps looking at me >Getting annoyed >Yelling at him while fapping >He just lowers head and squints >Still watching me sideways >Throwing things at him while fapping >Rage fapping >I c-- while looking at him and yelling >Orgasm ruined >Came all over my legs in anger >Really annoyed >Get up, start cleaning >Notice utility worker on pole outside window >He's laughing his ass off >I immediately drop to the floor >Crawl to light switch, turn off light >Still hear him laughing >Crawl into hallway >Still hear him laughing >Well, f---.
Anonymous (ID: MXOKR33M) 02/21/13(Thu)04:57:05 No.460197458 File: 1361440625692.jpg-(69 KB, 281x356, 34566.jpg) >Fapping one night >Dog keeps looking at me >Getting annoyed >Yelling at him while fapping >He just lowers head and squints >Still watching me sideways >Throwing things at him while fapping >Rage fapping >I c-- while looking at him and yelling >Orgasm ruined >Came all over my legs in anger >Really annoyed >Get up, start cleaning >Notice utility worker on pole outside window >He's laughing his ass off >I immediately drop to the floor >Crawl to light switch, turn off light >Still hear him laughing >Crawl into hallway >Still hear him laughing >Well, f---.

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Anon meets a racist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:30:42 No.855507130 >on a night out >absolutely twatted >no car >call a cab >cab shows up, Nigerian driver >black as midnight >he keeps trying to talk to me >whygod.jpeg 245 KB JPG >at least his accent is kinda cool >notice he's driving by people waving at the car >"hey bud, shouldn't you pick those people up?" >"oh, them? I'm not driving them anywhere, they are black." what.
: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:30:42 No.855507130 >on a night out >absolutely twatted >no car >call a cab >cab shows up, Nigerian driver >black as midnight >he keeps trying to talk to me >whygod.jpeg 245 KB JPG >at least his accent is kinda cool >notice he's driving by people waving at the car >"hey bud, shouldn't you pick those people up?" >"oh, them? I'm not driving them anywhere, they are black." what.

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Anon is a youtuber | /r/Greentext

ile: 16158969615760.jpg (119 KB, 1080x655) O Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)21:51:02 No.1 >Why you should watch >Why >How >The art of >Why sound is important In >How >The hidden genius of >How >How is a cinematic masterpiece defined a genre subverts expectations pushes boundaries scares us structural analysis >Hegelian philosophy in "anime titlen >Why >The importance of sexuality in >How >In defence of >The terrifying reality of >This ad is sponsored by >Subscribe to my patreon character is misunderstood gets away with being terrible
ile: 16158969615760.jpg (119 KB, 1080x655) O Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)21:51:02 No.1 >Why you should watch >Why >How >The art of >Why sound is important In >How >The hidden genius of >How >How is a cinematic masterpiece defined a genre subverts expectations pushes boundaries scares us structural analysis >Hegelian philosophy in "anime titlen >Why >The importance of sexuality in >How >In defence of >The terrifying reality of >This ad is sponsored by >Subscribe to my patreon character is misunderstood gets away with being terrible

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Anons brother watches too much hentai | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 47 minutes ago 867266728 >Be me >Accidentally catch my 14 year old brother on Nhentai >Was gonna never bring it up again but the little f--- started acting weird >Apparently he's been browsing the shotacon, i-----, milf tags cuz he's recently taken an interest in our aunt >mf isn't even subtle about it >Thinks the world runs on hentai logic >One night when we're sleeping over at her place he wakes up at like 12:00pm and gets out of bed >l'm still awake and follow him >lil bro goes to aunt reading on the couch >He has a massive f------ boner >Pulls the generic hentai "It suddenly got big" "help me" >Whips out his c--- and gets closer expecting a f--- >Instead gets screamed at by the aunt and essentially every member of the family the next day, + no internet, TV or videogames for the next year Serves you right you little f------ dumbass 5 REPLIES
Anonymous 47 minutes ago 867266728 >Be me >Accidentally catch my 14 year old brother on Nhentai >Was gonna never bring it up again but the little f--- started acting weird >Apparently he's been browsing the shotacon, i-----, milf tags cuz he's recently taken an interest in our aunt >mf isn't even subtle about it >Thinks the world runs on hentai logic >One night when we're sleeping over at her place he wakes up at like 12:00pm and gets out of bed >l'm still awake and follow him >lil bro goes to aunt reading on the couch >He has a massive f------ boner >Pulls the generic hentai "It suddenly got big" "help me" >Whips out his c--- and gets closer expecting a f--- >Instead gets screamed at by the aunt and essentially every member of the family the next day, + no internet, TV or videogames for the next year Serves you right you little f------ dumbass 5 REPLIES

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/redtext is all right | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Colorblind >Decide to make greentext >How did I do guys
>Be me >Colorblind >Decide to make greentext >How did I do guys

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anon meets some friendly chads at the gym :) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)12:05:29 No.66269994 >be me fatso >daily routine is to be depressed, go to work, go home, play video games and sleep >next to the bus stop which takes me to work is a big gym cetre >always think it is a normie shitplace 21 KB JPG >last monday decide to go in to see what is happening there cause why not >a friendly chad asks me if he can help me >"dont know I am just looking around" >he tells me that if I want they can help me, they can make me a workout rouine >decide to check it out why not >it turns out a personal trainer isnt even that expensive, I buy video games for more/month and bought a month who cares >go next day, an another friendly chad waited for me >he made a nice workout for me for everyday just 30 minutes till I get used to it >also there is kicking and boxing stuff >actually started having a good time and feel like I have a purpose in life and went since that everyday >actually started to feel better and I found differences on my leg after one week And I didn't even play video games for week cause I dont feel the need for it. Try it fellow fatsos aswell. I never thought working out can be this fullfilling to my soul View Thread
: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)12:05:29 No.66269994 >be me fatso >daily routine is to be depressed, go to work, go home, play video games and sleep >next to the bus stop which takes me to work is a big gym cetre >always think it is a normie shitplace 21 KB JPG >last monday decide to go in to see what is happening there cause why not >a friendly chad asks me if he can help me >"dont know I am just looking around" >he tells me that if I want they can help me, they can make me a workout rouine >decide to check it out why not >it turns out a personal trainer isnt even that expensive, I buy video games for more/month and bought a month who cares >go next day, an another friendly chad waited for me >he made a nice workout for me for everyday just 30 minutes till I get used to it >also there is kicking and boxing stuff >actually started having a good time and feel like I have a purpose in life and went since that everyday >actually started to feel better and I found differences on my leg after one week And I didn't even play video games for week cause I dont feel the need for it. Try it fellow fatsos aswell. I never thought working out can be this fullfilling to my soul View Thread

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Patron of the arts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)09:00:29 No.66268629 >horny f----- >have very specific fetish you have to pay to get any good content for >don't want to fall into the trap of supporting any women on onlyfans >subscribe to artists patreon's who are fellow horny losers like me 6 KB JPG instead of insta-thots >make the switch to 2D anons >help make the world a better place : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)09:48:10 No.66268943 >>66268629 (OP) # Good man. Women don't deserve shekels.
: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)09:00:29 No.66268629 >horny f----- >have very specific fetish you have to pay to get any good content for >don't want to fall into the trap of supporting any women on onlyfans >subscribe to artists patreon's who are fellow horny losers like me 6 KB JPG instead of insta-thots >make the switch to 2D anons >help make the world a better place : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)09:48:10 No.66268943 >>66268629 (OP) # Good man. Women don't deserve shekels.

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Anon is a day trader | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)03:55:18 No.64399803 1597869454739.png 19 KB PNG >>64399637 (OP) # >invests In crypto once >loses a month of wages I'm something of a day trader myself
: Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)03:55:18 No.64399803 1597869454739.png 19 KB PNG >>64399637 (OP) # >invests In crypto once >loses a month of wages I'm something of a day trader myself

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Anon stacks food | /r/Greentext

File: cc1.jpg (28 KB, 619x453) Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)12:53:19 No.66267854 [Reply] >>66267879 >Job stacking shelves at the supermarket >Stacking the cat food and the dog food >Notice the price on the cans >stack the food l ate as a child >Notice that my mum spent more food on the cat and the dog than on me or my brother. It really hurts.
File: cc1.jpg (28 KB, 619x453) Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)12:53:19 No.66267854 [Reply] >>66267879 >Job stacking shelves at the supermarket >Stacking the cat food and the dog food >Notice the price on the cans >stack the food l ate as a child >Notice that my mum spent more food on the cat and the dog than on me or my brother. It really hurts.

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Anon drank coffee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)22:19:27 No.867223560 1637183079158.jpg 36 KB JPG >drank coffee an hour ago >can feel my bowels turning into the Krakatoa Wish me luck /b/ros
: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)22:19:27 No.867223560 1637183079158.jpg 36 KB JPG >drank coffee an hour ago >can feel my bowels turning into the Krakatoa Wish me luck /b/ros

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anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)18:48:19 No.66263157 >Fap to straight p---, i need 2 hours to just barely c-- >Fap to futa on male and self-insert on the guy who is getting butt-f----- by the futa, c-- buckets in less than 2 minutes. What does this mean? 75 KB JPG 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)18:48:19 No.66263157 >Fap to straight p---, i need 2 hours to just barely c-- >Fap to futa on male and self-insert on the guy who is getting butt-f----- by the futa, c-- buckets in less than 2 minutes. What does this mean? 75 KB JPG 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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qt 3.14 nurse gives anon a jack off | /r/Greentext

A true story from my youth >be me >extremely depressed with crippling anxiety >finally decide to end it all >take lots of Xanax and wash it 25 KB PNG down with a handle >pass the f--- out >parents find me and rush me to hospital >unfortunately the doctor saves me >two cops come into room and ask me to take drug test >walk to bathroom with dad, qt nurse, and two cops >still extremely intoxicated >me to nurse "can you jack me off?" >dad in shock "did he really just say that?" >nurse "yes" >l don't hear my dad and I think the nurse said yes to my question >turn back to dad and say "later virgin" >mfw I called my dad a virgin
A true story from my youth >be me >extremely depressed with crippling anxiety >finally decide to end it all >take lots of Xanax and wash it 25 KB PNG down with a handle >pass the f--- out >parents find me and rush me to hospital >unfortunately the doctor saves me >two cops come into room and ask me to take drug test >walk to bathroom with dad, qt nurse, and two cops >still extremely intoxicated >me to nurse "can you jack me off?" >dad in shock "did he really just say that?" >nurse "yes" >l don't hear my dad and I think the nurse said yes to my question >turn back to dad and say "later virgin" >mfw I called my dad a virgin

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Anon watches tutorials | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)22:50:36 No.64526525 >go on random tutorial >type "why did you make this tutorial I already know how to do it" >leave without an explanation 65 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/11/21(Sun)22:50:36 No.64526525 >go on random tutorial >type "why did you make this tutorial I already know how to do it" >leave without an explanation 65 KB JPG

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Anon is easily satisfied | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)08:56:18 No.66254491 Apu and his homies are about to volunteer in a soup kitchen to help feed the homeless - they're all very excited The FooGommunity 1637297980881.png 536 KB PNG >Large apple pie from nice store costs 4.99 >Wagie job pays 10 an hour >Can afford to eat TWO WHOLE apple pies for an hours work. So anon, why aren't you waging yet?
: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)08:56:18 No.66254491 Apu and his homies are about to volunteer in a soup kitchen to help feed the homeless - they're all very excited The FooGommunity 1637297980881.png 536 KB PNG >Large apple pie from nice store costs 4.99 >Wagie job pays 10 an hour >Can afford to eat TWO WHOLE apple pies for an hours work. So anon, why aren't you waging yet?

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e-thots strike again | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 52556107 3 hr ago •• >broke down and gave money to a female streamer again She said my name and put it on screen and it was all I needed to c-- 93.1 kB PNG
Anonymous | 52556107 3 hr ago •• >broke down and gave money to a female streamer again She said my name and put it on screen and it was all I needed to c-- 93.1 kB PNG

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