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Anon is a sigma male | /r/Greentext


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Anon beats god | /r/Greentext


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Anon enjoys a popsicle | /r/Greentext

>eating popsicle with my friend >it looks phallic >we lol a bit >lick it seductively while looking at him >he is laughing his ass off 366 KB PNG >put it in my mouth and push it as deep as i can >gag and then pull it out >i look like one of those hentai girls, spit trailing and everything >he stops laughing and then looks shocked >look down >rock hard
>eating popsicle with my friend >it looks phallic >we lol a bit >lick it seductively while looking at him >he is laughing his ass off 366 KB PNG >put it in my mouth and push it as deep as i can >gag and then pull it out >i look like one of those hentai girls, spit trailing and everything >he stops laughing and then looks shocked >look down >rock hard

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Anon is a redditor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 52 minutes ago 867267110: >go on 4chan and its nothing but BBC and t----- spam >go on any other chan and its all pedoshit 3 REPLIES
Anonymous 52 minutes ago 867267110: >go on 4chan and its nothing but BBC and t----- spam >go on any other chan and its all pedoshit 3 REPLIES

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Anon doesn’t believe in the U.S. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)14:14:14 No.63423667 >be me >british >wake up, eat my black pudding and stale bacon >don't brush my teeth >go to work where I scrape the literal faeces off the streets 23 KB JPG >get stabbed >go to the pub and spend my hard earned 19.50 on 2 pints of stale lager >get stabbed >go back to my revolting 1 bed apartment >eat my undercooked sausages with plain mashed potato >don't brush my teeth >sleep >repeat The UK has to be a prank at this point
: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)14:14:14 No.63423667 >be me >british >wake up, eat my black pudding and stale bacon >don't brush my teeth >go to work where I scrape the literal faeces off the streets 23 KB JPG >get stabbed >go to the pub and spend my hard earned 19.50 on 2 pints of stale lager >get stabbed >go back to my revolting 1 bed apartment >eat my undercooked sausages with plain mashed potato >don't brush my teeth >sleep >repeat The UK has to be a prank at this point

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Anon is not an antimasker | /r/Greentext

>Be me >two months ago >goes to local gun store >walk in masked up because my mother is immuno compromised >see a bunch of chuds no masks >it'scool.exe >go to the 9mm >grabs two boxes to leave some for other people >go to register >owner is there >5'5 350lb manlet >owner looks right at me >I can't ring you up until you take off that mask >wut.exe >you serious? >yes, I'm not ringing you up until you take of that mask >try to tell him that my mother can die very easily if I give this to her >TAKE IT OFF OR GET OUT! >I leave the 9mm and walk out >fast forward to this morning >| go back to pick up a gun I got shipped there before he spazed on me >there is only one guy at the register >they leave you all by yourself Eh? >No actually the owner caught covid and died three days ago The s--- eating grin I had under my mask when he told me that, served that chud right.
>Be me >two months ago >goes to local gun store >walk in masked up because my mother is immuno compromised >see a bunch of chuds no masks >it'scool.exe >go to the 9mm >grabs two boxes to leave some for other people >go to register >owner is there >5'5 350lb manlet >owner looks right at me >I can't ring you up until you take off that mask >wut.exe >you serious? >yes, I'm not ringing you up until you take of that mask >try to tell him that my mother can die very easily if I give this to her >TAKE IT OFF OR GET OUT! >I leave the 9mm and walk out >fast forward to this morning >| go back to pick up a gun I got shipped there before he spazed on me >there is only one guy at the register >they leave you all by yourself Eh? >No actually the owner caught covid and died three days ago The s--- eating grin I had under my mask when he told me that, served that chud right.

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The next generation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)23:59:56 No.66277424 psych ward 1629998766632.jpg 112 KB JPG Why is everyone mentally ill and gay? >got job at Cafe >All employees are college students >even the owner is in college, doing a master's >am only one not in college >all the employees there have mental illnesses and are LGBT except for the one white dude that works there >they make their mental illness one of their main personality traits and joke about it all the time >>haha have to take drugs for anxiety again >one of the guy's entire personality is being mentally ill and saying and doing random stuff because of it >>The masculine urge to rip my face off (sic) >they're all gay or bisexual, again except for the one white dude >one of them is nonbinary or something but is clearly a girl I don't get it bros
: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)23:59:56 No.66277424 psych ward 1629998766632.jpg 112 KB JPG Why is everyone mentally ill and gay? >got job at Cafe >All employees are college students >even the owner is in college, doing a master's >am only one not in college >all the employees there have mental illnesses and are LGBT except for the one white dude that works there >they make their mental illness one of their main personality traits and joke about it all the time >>haha have to take drugs for anxiety again >one of the guy's entire personality is being mentally ill and saying and doing random stuff because of it >>The masculine urge to rip my face off (sic) >they're all gay or bisexual, again except for the one white dude >one of them is nonbinary or something but is clearly a girl I don't get it bros

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found in thee | /r/Greentext

>kanye west replaces zayn in one direction >kanye kicks everyone out of the band >"there's only one direction 51 KB JPG fam" >tfw it's west
>kanye west replaces zayn in one direction >kanye kicks everyone out of the band >"there's only one direction 51 KB JPG fam" >tfw it's west

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Silver lining | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)22:37:12 No.867288228 >be me >19m, virgin >cousin comes to visit, he is too young to go to bars so we drink at my place >end up going for a walk and I need to piss real bad so we go to 103 KB PNG mcdonalds which is close to all bars/clubs >bathroom requires a purchase to use as it is locked with a key, cousin reluctantly buys drink so I can use the key >as I enter the bathroom, a beautiful girl rushes in behind me and asks if she can go first >l allow it even tho it's the boys room >we talk about how our nights are going, and she leaves phone in stall >after I am done I bring her phone as she is washing her hands, and I ask her if she wants a new number in her phone >she laughs and says that she is a lesbian, but I am really cute >I laugh as well and wish her well on her way >mfw I am proud of myself for having the courage to ask out a beautiful girl, even tho it didn't work out
: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)22:37:12 No.867288228 >be me >19m, virgin >cousin comes to visit, he is too young to go to bars so we drink at my place >end up going for a walk and I need to piss real bad so we go to 103 KB PNG mcdonalds which is close to all bars/clubs >bathroom requires a purchase to use as it is locked with a key, cousin reluctantly buys drink so I can use the key >as I enter the bathroom, a beautiful girl rushes in behind me and asks if she can go first >l allow it even tho it's the boys room >we talk about how our nights are going, and she leaves phone in stall >after I am done I bring her phone as she is washing her hands, and I ask her if she wants a new number in her phone >she laughs and says that she is a lesbian, but I am really cute >I laugh as well and wish her well on her way >mfw I am proud of myself for having the courage to ask out a beautiful girl, even tho it didn't work out

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Desert Bus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)19:32:05 No.66274906 >blonde college sorority girl uses me for rides >she wants me to drive her to her friends house tonight (obviously a guy) ENOUGH 132 KB PNG I am going to pick her up and drive to the the desert ( live in arizona) and kick her out of my car. I am sick of being used by women. Is this legal to do? : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)19:35:08 No.66274938 >>66274906 (OP) # No, it Isn't
: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)19:32:05 No.66274906 >blonde college sorority girl uses me for rides >she wants me to drive her to her friends house tonight (obviously a guy) ENOUGH 132 KB PNG I am going to pick her up and drive to the the desert ( live in arizona) and kick her out of my car. I am sick of being used by women. Is this legal to do? : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)19:35:08 No.66274938 >>66274906 (OP) # No, it Isn't

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Anon has a bad music taste | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)00:07:02 No.66273076 >be me >13 >in class listening to music with earphones >popular kid rips the plug out of my phone >presses play on youtube 443 KB PNG > hes listening to nightcore hes listening to nightcore! >whole class starts laughing >cry
: Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)00:07:02 No.66273076 >be me >13 >in class listening to music with earphones >popular kid rips the plug out of my phone >presses play on youtube 443 KB PNG > hes listening to nightcore hes listening to nightcore! >whole class starts laughing >cry

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Anon tries asmr | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)23:38:31 No.774734817 >can't fall asleep >put on asmr >try out the girlfriend one >realize how lonely I am >cry myself to sleep I mean it worked 25 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/18/18(Wed)23:38:31 No.774734817 >can't fall asleep >put on asmr >try out the girlfriend one >realize how lonely I am >cry myself to sleep I mean it worked 25 KB JPG

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Anon has a deep understanding of the nature of cows | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)11:40:59 No.66255363 >Does anyone else think cows are cool? >Give me some interesting cow facts, fellow tards 90 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)11:42:30 No.66255372 >>66255363 (OP)_# Cows have best friends and they get sad if they dont see them or get to talk to them : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)11:45:31 No.66255387 >>66255363 (OP) # pros: >cows are nice to pet >they have big eyes >love being brushed cons: >they s--- liquid >if they moo near you you basically go deaf >their breath reeks to high hell >they always stampede towards me >has 537 mosquitoes surrounding their eyes at all time >can and will kill me if they wanted to they can also sleep while standing : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)11:49:00 No.66255405 Cows are very curious animals but also very timid. If you go into a field of cows, they may swarm over to investigate you, which can be frightening because they're large powerful animals, but if you shout and wave a stick they will run away. >>66255525 #
: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)11:40:59 No.66255363 >Does anyone else think cows are cool? >Give me some interesting cow facts, fellow tards 90 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)11:42:30 No.66255372 >>66255363 (OP)_# Cows have best friends and they get sad if they dont see them or get to talk to them : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)11:45:31 No.66255387 >>66255363 (OP) # pros: >cows are nice to pet >they have big eyes >love being brushed cons: >they s--- liquid >if they moo near you you basically go deaf >their breath reeks to high hell >they always stampede towards me >has 537 mosquitoes surrounding their eyes at all time >can and will kill me if they wanted to they can also sleep while standing : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)11:49:00 No.66255405 Cows are very curious animals but also very timid. If you go into a field of cows, they may swarm over to investigate you, which can be frightening because they're large powerful animals, but if you shout and wave a stick they will run away. >>66255525 #

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anon just want girly clothes | /r/Greentext

: maple 11/23/21(Tue)23:19:05 No.23293236 > "hey what do you want for christmas?" > "oh i'm just happy to be around and i buy everything impulsively anyways" > "noooo we have to get you something" > "well here's an amazon list that i 141 KB JPG throw outfit ideas into if you need to get me anything" > "nooo no your brothers and grandparents don't want to get you girl clothes" i'm going to end up with a bunch of men's cut jeans again this year huh?
: maple 11/23/21(Tue)23:19:05 No.23293236 > "hey what do you want for christmas?" > "oh i'm just happy to be around and i buy everything impulsively anyways" > "noooo we have to get you something" > "well here's an amazon list that i 141 KB JPG throw outfit ideas into if you need to get me anything" > "nooo no your brothers and grandparents don't want to get you girl clothes" i'm going to end up with a bunch of men's cut jeans again this year huh?

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Brolly Problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)18:39:39 No.66274237 >2013 >moved to America >first day of new school >raining like crazy >grab umbrella so I stay dry as | walk to school >as I get closer I bump I to more students 1.45 MB PNG >not a single one is using an umbrella and are just getting soaked Throughout the following years I see this time and again. Why the f--- are Americans so against umbrellas?
: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)18:39:39 No.66274237 >2013 >moved to America >first day of new school >raining like crazy >grab umbrella so I stay dry as | walk to school >as I get closer I bump I to more students 1.45 MB PNG >not a single one is using an umbrella and are just getting soaked Throughout the following years I see this time and again. Why the f--- are Americans so against umbrellas?

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Regrets, I’ve had a few | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autism >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life
: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autism >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life

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Late bloomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)06:22:10 No.66267683 Anyone else /bloomer/ here? >in grad school >have a job >learning to drive >got a girlfriend >got friends who I spend time with 132 KB JPG >going to the gym three times a week Two years ago I was a lonely NEET with no friends, things are looking up lads : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)06:24:00 No.66267694 >>66267683 (OP) # no I'm extremely obese and I smoke there's nothing blooming besides weeds go away >>66268891 #
: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)06:22:10 No.66267683 Anyone else /bloomer/ here? >in grad school >have a job >learning to drive >got a girlfriend >got friends who I spend time with 132 KB JPG >going to the gym three times a week Two years ago I was a lonely NEET with no friends, things are looking up lads : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)06:24:00 No.66267694 >>66267683 (OP) # no I'm extremely obese and I smoke there's nothing blooming besides weeds go away >>66268891 #

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Libertarianism

Anonymous iD: B6E70DRK No.83044520 22 minutes ago >>83044257 (OP) >live in libertarian utopia >wake up >no internet because DARPA was never funded and thus it wasn't developed >eat breakfast >hope I don't die of heavy metal poisoning because there are no regulations regarding food safety >walk outside >get in my car >hope I don't get hit because there's no regulations requiring seat belts or airbags >driving along the dirt road to my job at megacorp because there are no roads >work for 9 hours with a 15 minute break to eat my hopefully toxin free food >drive home from work to greet my daughter >who's completely illiterate and can't go to school because there are no public schools and I can't afford private school >just as I pull up to the house, a guy in a van with free ice cream snatches my daughter and drives off in a cloud of dust >call the private police company >'please note you will be charged $19.95 for this call" >they give me a quote for $1000 to investigate my daughter being kidnapped >only make $800 a month because no labor laws >politely decline >walk home >get stabbed for my shoes >nearby private police contractor can't interfere because I don't have coverage with their company >can't afford to go to the hospital, but then l'd probably die there anyway because there's no requirements for hospitals to practice proper sanitation >megacorp inherits my house because that's what my employment contract said in the I fine print >reflect on how fantastic life is without that oppressive government 1 reply /pol/ imagines a libertarian paradise
Anonymous iD: B6E70DRK No.83044520 22 minutes ago >>83044257 (OP) >live in libertarian utopia >wake up >no internet because DARPA was never funded and thus it wasn't developed >eat breakfast >hope I don't die of heavy metal poisoning because there are no regulations regarding food safety >walk outside >get in my car >hope I don't get hit because there's no regulations requiring seat belts or airbags >driving along the dirt road to my job at megacorp because there are no roads >work for 9 hours with a 15 minute break to eat my hopefully toxin free food >drive home from work to greet my daughter >who's completely illiterate and can't go to school because there are no public schools and I can't afford private school >just as I pull up to the house, a guy in a van with free ice cream snatches my daughter and drives off in a cloud of dust >call the private police company >'please note you will be charged $19.95 for this call" >they give me a quote for $1000 to investigate my daughter being kidnapped >only make $800 a month because no labor laws >politely decline >walk home >get stabbed for my shoes >nearby private police contractor can't interfere because I don't have coverage with their company >can't afford to go to the hospital, but then l'd probably die there anyway because there's no requirements for hospitals to practice proper sanitation >megacorp inherits my house because that's what my employment contract said in the I fine print >reflect on how fantastic life is without that oppressive government 1 reply /pol/ imagines a libertarian paradise

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I feel so bad for this guy. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 ! Replies: >>55869 >>55879 >>55894 >>55905 File: 1364374915091.png-(33 KB, 215x198, 1358324536208.png) >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody possum >think its dead, go to put it in garbage >notice its still breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash it over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:22 No.55869 ! File: 1364376132744.gif-(828 KB, 200x189, 1334303941810.gif) >>55852 Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:39 No.55879 ! File: 1364377160702.jpg-(32 KB, 512x288, 1354770690594.jpg) >>55852
Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:01 No.55852 ! Replies: >>55869 >>55879 >>55894 >>55905 File: 1364374915091.png-(33 KB, 215x198, 1358324536208.png) >be 16 >hear dogs obviously attacking something in back yard >go out and get them to leave it alone >oh s--- it's a bloody possum >think its dead, go to put it in garbage >notice its still breathing >decide to put it out of it's misery >grab a broken skateboard and smash it over it's head >possum starts convulsing >oh god why aren't you dying >keep beating it >feel like Christopher bale killing jared letto In American psycho >it finally dies >check the body and see the dogs barely scratched it >mfw I remember possums play dead Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:22 No.55869 ! File: 1364376132744.gif-(828 KB, 200x189, 1334303941810.gif) >>55852 Anonymous 03/27/13(Wed)05:39 No.55879 ! File: 1364377160702.jpg-(32 KB, 512x288, 1354770690594.jpg) >>55852

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Oh well... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: MXOKR33M) 02/21/13(Thu)04:57:05 No.460197458 File: 1361440625692.jpg-(69 KB, 281x356, 34566.jpg) >Fapping one night >Dog keeps looking at me >Getting annoyed >Yelling at him while fapping >He just lowers head and squints >Still watching me sideways >Throwing things at him while fapping >Rage fapping >I c-- while looking at him and yelling >Orgasm ruined >Came all over my legs in anger >Really annoyed >Get up, start cleaning >Notice utility worker on pole outside window >He's laughing his ass off >I immediately drop to the floor >Crawl to light switch, turn off light >Still hear him laughing >Crawl into hallway >Still hear him laughing >Well, f---.
Anonymous (ID: MXOKR33M) 02/21/13(Thu)04:57:05 No.460197458 File: 1361440625692.jpg-(69 KB, 281x356, 34566.jpg) >Fapping one night >Dog keeps looking at me >Getting annoyed >Yelling at him while fapping >He just lowers head and squints >Still watching me sideways >Throwing things at him while fapping >Rage fapping >I c-- while looking at him and yelling >Orgasm ruined >Came all over my legs in anger >Really annoyed >Get up, start cleaning >Notice utility worker on pole outside window >He's laughing his ass off >I immediately drop to the floor >Crawl to light switch, turn off light >Still hear him laughing >Crawl into hallway >Still hear him laughing >Well, f---.

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