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Who is cutting onions? | /r/Greentext


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One-Man Band | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)00:42:57 No.66277830 >know how to play guitar, bass, violin, piano, and even accordion >still no gf what the hell else am i supposed to do? 39 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)00:43:55 No.66277838 keep playing the skin flute
: Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)00:42:57 No.66277830 >know how to play guitar, bass, violin, piano, and even accordion >still no gf what the hell else am i supposed to do? 39 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)00:43:55 No.66277838 keep playing the skin flute

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Anon prepares a special milkshake | /r/Greentext


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anon likes tartar sauce | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/03/18(Sat)15:12:54 No.10231090 ► >>10231176 >>10231191 File: 477732678.jpg (45 KB, 600x600) >go to Long John Silvers drive thru >order food >ask for extra tartar sauce (I like a lot of tartar) >cashier bitch hands me 2 packets >says she can give me more but would have to charge me for them >ask for cup of water (free) >pull into parking spot >dump out water >take cup inside >fill cup with tartar sauce from self serve pump >leave Don't f--- with me Long Johns, I'll hack your f------ system
O Anonymous 03/03/18(Sat)15:12:54 No.10231090 ► >>10231176 >>10231191 File: 477732678.jpg (45 KB, 600x600) >go to Long John Silvers drive thru >order food >ask for extra tartar sauce (I like a lot of tartar) >cashier bitch hands me 2 packets >says she can give me more but would have to charge me for them >ask for cup of water (free) >pull into parking spot >dump out water >take cup inside >fill cup with tartar sauce from self serve pump >leave Don't f--- with me Long Johns, I'll hack your f------ system

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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:01:23 No.9231307 >make thread >no one replies >pull out my phone and reply to my thread 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:04:06 No.9231311 totally man haha good thread dude >>9231316 #
: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:01:23 No.9231307 >make thread >no one replies >pull out my phone and reply to my thread 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:04:06 No.9231311 totally man haha good thread dude >>9231316 #

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Anon is Straight. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw
: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw

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Anon gets in a fight with his sister | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 37 minutes ago 867321554 : >get into huge fight with my older sister >say horrible things to each other like I wish you were never born or I wish you'd die in a car accident or you should kill yourself >don't talk to each other for the rest of the day >feel like s--- >can't sleep at night >at 3.30 am send her a single text "I love you" >instantly get back a reply “I love you too" 7 REPLIES
Anonymous 37 minutes ago 867321554 : >get into huge fight with my older sister >say horrible things to each other like I wish you were never born or I wish you'd die in a car accident or you should kill yourself >don't talk to each other for the rest of the day >feel like s--- >can't sleep at night >at 3.30 am send her a single text "I love you" >instantly get back a reply “I love you too" 7 REPLIES

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Anon totally knows how women work | /r/Greentext

! Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed) 12:09:57 No.66284400 I have been thinking a lot about this and there really is no reason I should not have a girlfriend, and I genuinely think I am entitled to one >You're probably ugly and have bad hygiene!! 76 KB JPG False. I shower on the daily and am quite attractive >You probably don't have a job or a stable income!!! Again false. I make $80,000 yearly, while many here make more this is more than enough to live comfortably and support a family. >You don't know how to talk to women!!! Once again false. I have studied women for quite some time and am quite familiar with their thought patterns and mannerisms >Women don't owe you anything!!! Yep you guessed it, False. As a well functioning, contributing member of society it is of the nation's best interest I obtain a wife and breed by high IQ genes for the next generation. I understand women are largely impulsive and still rely on their evolutionary desires in picking a mate (remember I have studied them for quite a while now. These urges however lead them to low IQ thugs who are incapable of even sticking around for the child and thus leads to a single mother epidemic we have now, proving that women cannot be trusted in picking a suitable mate for themselves. We've let women have their freedom for years now and we are seeing the effects of it in a decaying society, the government must step in and regulate marriages and I am a prime example of someone who deserves a wife. Curious to know what you guys think?
! Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed) 12:09:57 No.66284400 I have been thinking a lot about this and there really is no reason I should not have a girlfriend, and I genuinely think I am entitled to one >You're probably ugly and have bad hygiene!! 76 KB JPG False. I shower on the daily and am quite attractive >You probably don't have a job or a stable income!!! Again false. I make $80,000 yearly, while many here make more this is more than enough to live comfortably and support a family. >You don't know how to talk to women!!! Once again false. I have studied women for quite some time and am quite familiar with their thought patterns and mannerisms >Women don't owe you anything!!! Yep you guessed it, False. As a well functioning, contributing member of society it is of the nation's best interest I obtain a wife and breed by high IQ genes for the next generation. I understand women are largely impulsive and still rely on their evolutionary desires in picking a mate (remember I have studied them for quite a while now. These urges however lead them to low IQ thugs who are incapable of even sticking around for the child and thus leads to a single mother epidemic we have now, proving that women cannot be trusted in picking a suitable mate for themselves. We've let women have their freedom for years now and we are seeing the effects of it in a decaying society, the government must step in and regulate marriages and I am a prime example of someone who deserves a wife. Curious to know what you guys think?

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Anon is thorough | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF

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Anon serves as a glowie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: /um1iWG4 ) = 11/24/21(Wed)08:31:54 No.349244614 >>349228676 # >be me >college educated >want to serve my country Hmm, f--- the military they don't pay s--- >see FBI is recruiting W-well on TV they are really cool and aren't fat >apply >get hired >pretty fun just shoot guns and study Congratulations anon you're an agent >get my assignment >says ill be on criminal extremist detail Get excited >pack my AR15, body armor and issued helmet in my Tahoe and drive to the office >mfw I'm assigned to 4chan The f--- even is this >start reading threads >have to read /pol/ everyday Hmm they have some points >start laughing real loud and coworkers are starting to see my interest >mfw I got fired and now they read my posts
: Anonymous (ID: /um1iWG4 ) = 11/24/21(Wed)08:31:54 No.349244614 >>349228676 # >be me >college educated >want to serve my country Hmm, f--- the military they don't pay s--- >see FBI is recruiting W-well on TV they are really cool and aren't fat >apply >get hired >pretty fun just shoot guns and study Congratulations anon you're an agent >get my assignment >says ill be on criminal extremist detail Get excited >pack my AR15, body armor and issued helmet in my Tahoe and drive to the office >mfw I'm assigned to 4chan The f--- even is this >start reading threads >have to read /pol/ everyday Hmm they have some points >start laughing real loud and coworkers are starting to see my interest >mfw I got fired and now they read my posts

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Anon is cringe | /r/Greentext

F4F7C388-F46E-47D3-B2FA-0(...).jpg (23 KB, 250x242) Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)13:28:03 No.867323934 >Be me >teach grandma what cringe means >fast forward months later >I show her the meme I made >She calls it cringe
F4F7C388-F46E-47D3-B2FA-0(...).jpg (23 KB, 250x242) Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)13:28:03 No.867323934 >Be me >teach grandma what cringe means >fast forward months later >I show her the meme I made >She calls it cringe

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Anon posts on reddit! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)20:10:24 No.782820861 >Be me >17 fem >Try to get abotion >Start to hear whispers in my ear >Look behind me >Needle goes into my throat and I get knocked out 7 KB JPG >Wake up >Im tied to a chair >Look around >See Ben Shapiro >Pulls bat out >Hits me so hard I cant move >Takes the baby out, no painkiller >Says "Libtard, I will raise this baby" >Bleed and die in the middle of nowhere >All I see is ben sapiro chant a magic spell, and the baby grows into a clone of Ben Shapiro >I die a few minutes later
: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)20:10:24 No.782820861 >Be me >17 fem >Try to get abotion >Start to hear whispers in my ear >Look behind me >Needle goes into my throat and I get knocked out 7 KB JPG >Wake up >Im tied to a chair >Look around >See Ben Shapiro >Pulls bat out >Hits me so hard I cant move >Takes the baby out, no painkiller >Says "Libtard, I will raise this baby" >Bleed and die in the middle of nowhere >All I see is ben sapiro chant a magic spell, and the baby grows into a clone of Ben Shapiro >I die a few minutes later

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Anon knows his name | /r/Greentext

1637567877195.png 2.02 MB PNG New Dragonball game. Thoughts? : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)10:01:13 No.578970020 name ? >>578970065 # >>578970115 # : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)10:01:50 No.578970065 >>578970020 # What mine? Tony. >>578970139 # >>578970194 # >>578971531 # >>578971625 # >>578971978 # >>578972230 # >>578972484 # >>578973816 #
1637567877195.png 2.02 MB PNG New Dragonball game. Thoughts? : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)10:01:13 No.578970020 name ? >>578970065 # >>578970115 # : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)10:01:50 No.578970065 >>578970020 # What mine? Tony. >>578970139 # >>578970194 # >>578971531 # >>578971625 # >>578971978 # >>578972230 # >>578972484 # >>578973816 #

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Some wholesomeness which hit me hard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/19(Tue)18:50:34 No.797540172 >be me >be 13 >visiting grandmas house >grandma is really good at cooking a pork dinner >sit down with family 174 KB JPG >eat >pork dinner Is really nice >yum >chocolate cake is nice >yum yum >thank you grandma >say to myself "I will remember this" >l still do >thank you for the memories
: Anonymous 04/16/19(Tue)18:50:34 No.797540172 >be me >be 13 >visiting grandmas house >grandma is really good at cooking a pork dinner >sit down with family 174 KB JPG >eat >pork dinner Is really nice >yum >chocolate cake is nice >yum yum >thank you grandma >say to myself "I will remember this" >l still do >thank you for the memories

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Anon watches the Joe Rogan Experience | /r/Greentext


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/devilish/ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.26583677 10 hours ago How about a /devilish/ thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. Who is the loser now?
Anonymous No.26583677 10 hours ago How about a /devilish/ thread? >At uni >Girl calls me a loser >over the line >Find her facebook >She has a boyfriend >Everything is public >Perfect >Save her pictures, learn her interests >Make an okcupid account >Fill it out with her info >Interact with others a little >Make a fake Chad facebook account >Message her boyfriend >"Hey bro sorry to bring this up but I was on okcupid and I do google searches of my dates, found your gf on it. Thought I should let you know." >bf messages me back "wow dude thanks for telling me." >A few days later check her facebook >Relationship: Single. Who is the loser now?

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Anon goes on a date with a real qt 3.14 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: VpsQfP9F) E 06/20/19(Thu)07:16:45 No.216880530 >date is going well >politics gets brought up >don't want to scare her >spout the most normie, bluepilled, centrist opinions I can think of >nothing even remotely 4 KB JPG close to right of center >"Oh god, you're not an alt-righter, are you?"
: Anonymous (ID: VpsQfP9F) E 06/20/19(Thu)07:16:45 No.216880530 >date is going well >politics gets brought up >don't want to scare her >spout the most normie, bluepilled, centrist opinions I can think of >nothing even remotely 4 KB JPG close to right of center >"Oh god, you're not an alt-righter, are you?"

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Anon thanks /adv/ | /r/Greentext


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See u later virgins | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/18(Thu)14:10:35 No.45794990 >be me >somebody makes fun of me >girl laughs at me >this means she was thinking of me >in other terms my image was in 6 KB JPG her brain for a short while >l've basically been inside her See you later, virgins 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/18(Thu)14:10:35 No.45794990 >be me >somebody makes fun of me >girl laughs at me >this means she was thinking of me >in other terms my image was in 6 KB JPG her brain for a short while >l've basically been inside her See you later, virgins 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is a film enjoyer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/19(Mon)12:28:07 No.807496699 Feeling cute. Might maul the neighbor's child later. IDK > Be me, 21 year old virgin, early 1990's > Mom's friend's daughter comes to stay with us while see is looking for work > 19 yo qt with long black hair > We spent a lot of time together as I had to drive her around 65 KB JPG > One day we are alone at home > We are watching videos, Robocop > She stops the movie and says she has something to show me > Puts in another video, smiles and press play > P----. Never seen a p---- before, don't know why she is showing me this > Tell her to put Robocop on again > Watch Robocop in silence > Awesome movie View Thread
: Anonymous 08/19/19(Mon)12:28:07 No.807496699 Feeling cute. Might maul the neighbor's child later. IDK > Be me, 21 year old virgin, early 1990's > Mom's friend's daughter comes to stay with us while see is looking for work > 19 yo qt with long black hair > We spent a lot of time together as I had to drive her around 65 KB JPG > One day we are alone at home > We are watching videos, Robocop > She stops the movie and says she has something to show me > Puts in another video, smiles and press play > P----. Never seen a p---- before, don't know why she is showing me this > Tell her to put Robocop on again > Watch Robocop in silence > Awesome movie View Thread

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