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Anon's colleague is a minimalist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)09:27:14 No.64987623 >work factory at night with a guy >he's kinda funny >ask him if he wants to drink some beer on friday after work >"sure" >go to his apartment >put beer in fridge >2 dollar store chicken sandwiches in fridge >nothing else in kitchen >only furniture is two lawn chairs and a cot he sleeps on >sit in a lawn chair >there is literally nothing else in this apartment >ask him how long he's been in this apartment >"2 years" >ask him what the s--- he does when he's not working >"i honestly just j------- to p--- on my cell phone and go to sleep" what a life >>64987661 #
: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)09:27:14 No.64987623 >work factory at night with a guy >he's kinda funny >ask him if he wants to drink some beer on friday after work >"sure" >go to his apartment >put beer in fridge >2 dollar store chicken sandwiches in fridge >nothing else in kitchen >only furniture is two lawn chairs and a cot he sleeps on >sit in a lawn chair >there is literally nothing else in this apartment >ask him how long he's been in this apartment >"2 years" >ask him what the s--- he does when he's not working >"i honestly just j------- to p--- on my cell phone and go to sleep" what a life >>64987661 #

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Sweet dreams are made of this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)14:15:19 No.66338687 >be me working >remote at home >get up to go do something >come back, someone in IT remote connected and is setting up new software on my work computer >notice I left some p--- open in 251 KB JPG the background >stomach drops and I start pacing >furiously trying to think up an excuse >"maybe the IT guy is a bro and doesn't care." >IT guy finishes, disconnects, and a message says "recording stopped." >an overwhelming sense of dread washes over me >"how will I replace this $150k per year job? What am I going to tell my family?" >have never felt so hopeless, ashamed, and scared in my life >contemplate killing myself >suddenly wake up, heart still racing. It was all a dream yet the emotions were very real. How could our brains do this to us?
: Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)14:15:19 No.66338687 >be me working >remote at home >get up to go do something >come back, someone in IT remote connected and is setting up new software on my work computer >notice I left some p--- open in 251 KB JPG the background >stomach drops and I start pacing >furiously trying to think up an excuse >"maybe the IT guy is a bro and doesn't care." >IT guy finishes, disconnects, and a message says "recording stopped." >an overwhelming sense of dread washes over me >"how will I replace this $150k per year job? What am I going to tell my family?" >have never felt so hopeless, ashamed, and scared in my life >contemplate killing myself >suddenly wake up, heart still racing. It was all a dream yet the emotions were very real. How could our brains do this to us?

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Anon buys a fridge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)11:12:40 No.64419340 >wage slut. minimum wage + unpaid overtime! >finaly save enough money to buy myself a fridge >have to ask coworker, if he can help me pick it up, caus no car >"no problem! Anon" >f--- yeah, i now have a fridge in 922 KB PNG my flat >next day, everyone at work gossips in what a s------- i live View Thread
: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)11:12:40 No.64419340 >wage slut. minimum wage + unpaid overtime! >finaly save enough money to buy myself a fridge >have to ask coworker, if he can help me pick it up, caus no car >"no problem! Anon" >f--- yeah, i now have a fridge in 922 KB PNG my flat >next day, everyone at work gossips in what a s------- i live View Thread

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I’m hoping the rape dwarf hasn’t been posted before | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)13:28:51 No.53265142 The dwarf > Be me, home alone > parents arr at a party > midnight, hear someone come inside >I call out "how was the party?" > no response.. > get a text from my mom saying they're staying the night at their 393 KB JPG friends house > oh f--- > hear something coming upstairs > It giggles > with each step I hear its c--- thump on the stairs The r--- dwarf is coming Help me anons
: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)13:28:51 No.53265142 The dwarf > Be me, home alone > parents arr at a party > midnight, hear someone come inside >I call out "how was the party?" > no response.. > get a text from my mom saying they're staying the night at their 393 KB JPG friends house > oh f--- > hear something coming upstairs > It giggles > with each step I hear its c--- thump on the stairs The r--- dwarf is coming Help me anons

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Anon mocks reddit | /r/Greentext


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Anon finds the one. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)22:01:57 No.867530445 >be me >be on tinder >talking to cute girl >she asked what I'm doing >I say watching Christmas movie >she says no way I'm watching a 102 KB PNG Christmas movie too haha >fast forward a little bit >she says My favourite thing is love Guys I think l'm in Thanks Christmas movies :)
: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)22:01:57 No.867530445 >be me >be on tinder >talking to cute girl >she asked what I'm doing >I say watching Christmas movie >she says no way I'm watching a 102 KB PNG Christmas movie too haha >fast forward a little bit >she says My favourite thing is love Guys I think l'm in Thanks Christmas movies :)

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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

"We have all this money to spend on Jets but not healthcare America sucks" >The US spend 3.3% of GDP on the military vs 4.4% of GDP on healthcare >medicaid and medicare only cost almost as much as the whole military budget > Maybe if you fat f---- ate less and lived healthy 66 KB JPG lifestyles we care afford decent healthcare >Why can't we be like Europe >why does the average American woman weight 21 pounds more than the average European woman
"We have all this money to spend on Jets but not healthcare America sucks" >The US spend 3.3% of GDP on the military vs 4.4% of GDP on healthcare >medicaid and medicare only cost almost as much as the whole military budget > Maybe if you fat f---- ate less and lived healthy 66 KB JPG lifestyles we care afford decent healthcare >Why can't we be like Europe >why does the average American woman weight 21 pounds more than the average European woman

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The Bread Girl | /r/Greentext

06/06/21(Sun) 16:09:57 No.223535863 : The bread girl The bread girl The bread girl.jpg 531 KB JPG The bread girl
06/06/21(Sun) 16:09:57 No.223535863 : The bread girl The bread girl The bread girl.jpg 531 KB JPG The bread girl

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Anon doesn't use condoms | /r/Greentext

File: bagfucker.png (599 KB, 1307x1071) O Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)03:42:12 No.867544679 [Reply] You WILL f--- the bag. >>867544749 >>867544897 >>867544924 >>867545146 >>867546238 >>867546424 >>867546477 I'm gonna keep posting this until I get it through your head. Wearing a condom during sex doesn't mean you're having sex. You're literally f------ a plastic bag, your d--- isn't actually touching the vagina. If you've had sex with hundreds of women but each and every time you wore a condom you would still be a virgin since your d--- never made contact with the vagina. It's literally the softcore version of a chastity cage, imagine cucking yourself before putting your d--- inbetween some nasty roasty curtains. Imagine sticking your d--- inside a girl and still being a durex virgin, kek. >b-but it's birth control! No excuse, there are alternative measures that don't force you to f--- a plastic bag >but it prevents STDS! If you're going to f--- someone who you know isn't clean you deserve the STD >but it feels like real sex! But it isn't. This is your daily reminder, now that you've read it you understand the truth. You can reply with whatever delusional comment you want but the facts will remain in your head no matter what you say. Seethe harder bagfuckers.
File: bagfucker.png (599 KB, 1307x1071) O Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)03:42:12 No.867544679 [Reply] You WILL f--- the bag. >>867544749 >>867544897 >>867544924 >>867545146 >>867546238 >>867546424 >>867546477 I'm gonna keep posting this until I get it through your head. Wearing a condom during sex doesn't mean you're having sex. You're literally f------ a plastic bag, your d--- isn't actually touching the vagina. If you've had sex with hundreds of women but each and every time you wore a condom you would still be a virgin since your d--- never made contact with the vagina. It's literally the softcore version of a chastity cage, imagine cucking yourself before putting your d--- inbetween some nasty roasty curtains. Imagine sticking your d--- inside a girl and still being a durex virgin, kek. >b-but it's birth control! No excuse, there are alternative measures that don't force you to f--- a plastic bag >but it prevents STDS! If you're going to f--- someone who you know isn't clean you deserve the STD >but it feels like real sex! But it isn't. This is your daily reminder, now that you've read it you understand the truth. You can reply with whatever delusional comment you want but the facts will remain in your head no matter what you say. Seethe harder bagfuckers.

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Anon cant sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/18(Mon)23:54:58 No.777108443 >can't sleep >sound of my pulse against my pillow is LOUD AF >get idea >stop my pulse 8 KB JPG Pic related
: Anonymous 08/13/18(Mon)23:54:58 No.777108443 >can't sleep >sound of my pulse against my pillow is LOUD AF >get idea >stop my pulse 8 KB JPG Pic related

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Anon likes a clown girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)08:39:13 No.21413121 ► >get with clown girl >things get hot and heavy as soon as we're at my place >before I knew it we're doing the horizontal shuffle >she starts moaning >then she starts to honk with every thrust as we climax >now I'm holding back laughter, but also plowing away >"honking stops >she rears back >*fog horn I was deaf for a few days after.
Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)08:39:13 No.21413121 ► >get with clown girl >things get hot and heavy as soon as we're at my place >before I knew it we're doing the horizontal shuffle >she starts moaning >then she starts to honk with every thrust as we climax >now I'm holding back laughter, but also plowing away >"honking stops >she rears back >*fog horn I was deaf for a few days after.

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Nad i thought my name was bad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804835787 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- 15.7 kB JPG REPLY
Anonymous | 804835787 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- 15.7 kB JPG REPLY

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Anon found him. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/04/20(Sun)15:07:39 No.140245384 Favorite movie lines 161AA42A-EDA1-4FOD-832B-B18023B797D1.jpg 50 KB JPG >Patrick, it's you!! You're the American Psycho?!" : Anonymous 10/04/20(Sun)15:08:00 No.140245402 >>140245384 (OP) # He didn't say that.
: Anonymous 10/04/20(Sun)15:07:39 No.140245384 Favorite movie lines 161AA42A-EDA1-4FOD-832B-B18023B797D1.jpg 50 KB JPG >Patrick, it's you!! You're the American Psycho?!" : Anonymous 10/04/20(Sun)15:08:00 No.140245402 >>140245384 (OP) # He didn't say that.

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Anon shares his sigma routine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)13:19:42 No.66334804 >wake up at 4am >shitpost wildly >close all threads, never reply >go to the gym just another day being Chad 528 KB PNG
: Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)13:19:42 No.66334804 >wake up at 4am >shitpost wildly >close all threads, never reply >go to the gym just another day being Chad 528 KB PNG

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Anon sticks up for manlets | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous Womanlet Revenge 10/17/17(Tue)20:20:28 No.40480576 >See constant threads about girls s------- on manlets on /r9k/ >Be 6ft 2in white guy >Be borderline sociopathic, barely have any empathy >Use Tinder and match with only 53 KB PNG really short girls >Exclusively seek out shorter girls (5ft 4in or below) >Talk to them and casually bring about short guys >if any of them talk s--- about manlets or say they're gross, I start pursuing them harder >Ask them out with the promise of sex >Take a small bottle of mustard water and hide it in my jacket >Go to the roastie w----- place >Make out or whatever and then right before we're about to f--- ask to be excused and go to the bathroom >down the mustard water >go back to see her >hold back the vomit >When their clothes come off I immediately start vomiting all over and spray it as much as I can >roastie is horrified >I tell them I find their shortness disgusting and I feel l'd be f------ a child >I leave telling them they shouldnt date tall guys and to stick to manlets I've successfully done this 10 times in the last 6 months. They always end up crying or freaking out and I j------- to that thought when I get home. I'm doing this for you my manlet brothers, its not your fault you didn't have the genetic lottery. F--- those roastie w-----. 73 Replies / 21 Images View Thread
| Anonymous Womanlet Revenge 10/17/17(Tue)20:20:28 No.40480576 >See constant threads about girls s------- on manlets on /r9k/ >Be 6ft 2in white guy >Be borderline sociopathic, barely have any empathy >Use Tinder and match with only 53 KB PNG really short girls >Exclusively seek out shorter girls (5ft 4in or below) >Talk to them and casually bring about short guys >if any of them talk s--- about manlets or say they're gross, I start pursuing them harder >Ask them out with the promise of sex >Take a small bottle of mustard water and hide it in my jacket >Go to the roastie w----- place >Make out or whatever and then right before we're about to f--- ask to be excused and go to the bathroom >down the mustard water >go back to see her >hold back the vomit >When their clothes come off I immediately start vomiting all over and spray it as much as I can >roastie is horrified >I tell them I find their shortness disgusting and I feel l'd be f------ a child >I leave telling them they shouldnt date tall guys and to stick to manlets I've successfully done this 10 times in the last 6 months. They always end up crying or freaking out and I j------- to that thought when I get home. I'm doing this for you my manlet brothers, its not your fault you didn't have the genetic lottery. F--- those roastie w-----. 73 Replies / 21 Images View Thread

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Anon goes full retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)07:40:19 No.867337983 >be me >waiting in line at supermarket >lady behind me has her daughter in her trolley >How much does she cost haha >She looks at me and says 5 KB JPG "what?" >haha I was just wondering if she was for sale >the girl in the trolley looks frightened >the lady just looks at me uncomfortably >continue waiting in line in horrible silence Should I just f------ rope jesus christ I just wanted to be friendly. I can never go back to that store ever again
: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)07:40:19 No.867337983 >be me >waiting in line at supermarket >lady behind me has her daughter in her trolley >How much does she cost haha >She looks at me and says 5 KB JPG "what?" >haha I was just wondering if she was for sale >the girl in the trolley looks frightened >the lady just looks at me uncomfortably >continue waiting in line in horrible silence Should I just f------ rope jesus christ I just wanted to be friendly. I can never go back to that store ever again

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Anon debunks the Moon Landing | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)00:54:35 No.159785329 ► >>159786033 >>159786774 >>159787513 >>159791108 >>159793782 File: R.8acf5b0757630334ce7aca8(...).jpg (29 KB, 592x560) >everyone is going on about the moon landing and freaking out even today about it, some think its fake some say its real >watch the video and other footage >the moon never lands I don't know what all the fuss is about
O Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)00:54:35 No.159785329 ► >>159786033 >>159786774 >>159787513 >>159791108 >>159793782 File: R.8acf5b0757630334ce7aca8(...).jpg (29 KB, 592x560) >everyone is going on about the moon landing and freaking out even today about it, some think its fake some say its real >watch the video and other footage >the moon never lands I don't know what all the fuss is about

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Thanksgiving 11/28/21(Sun)00:45:02 No.66326949 >take a s--- after thanksgiving >need to piss as well >piss while s------- >c--- happens to be angled too high >end up pissing out the toilet and 899 KB GIF onto the floor >leave it there without telling anyone How did your Thanksgiving go?
: Anonymous Thanksgiving 11/28/21(Sun)00:45:02 No.66326949 >take a s--- after thanksgiving >need to piss as well >piss while s------- >c--- happens to be angled too high >end up pissing out the toilet and 899 KB GIF onto the floor >leave it there without telling anyone How did your Thanksgiving go?

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Anon's cousin came to visit | /r/Greentext

1 Anonymous #665681321 2 28/01 00:28:36 JPG 458x305 14 KB >Be me >2009 (12 years old) >Cousins coming over >Hated the autistic 10 year old from the minute he could speak English >Kinda looks like pic related >Really wants to see the movie Up >Just so happens we have it on DVD, or I do at least >Notices it when he arrives >Asks if he can have it >Tell him no right off the bat >Of col >He won't stop bothering people about it >Eventually quiets down until dinnertime >F------ spaghetti again >He's sat opposite me and starts going on about it again >l get sick of his s--- and yell NO at him >He literally grabs his bowl of spaghetti and runs up my little brothers treehouse with it >l'm asked to go check if he's OK >Arrive and he starts going off at me again >Little did he know the ladder wasn't attached so I could just remove it >So I did >Go back and tell everyone that he's fine, he just wants to be alone >10 minutes later and f--- yeah it's ice cream time >Asked to ask him if he wants any >Head back, the retard threw his fork on the other side of the tree in anger >Asks me to run around and get it him >Obviously tell him no, and that he's retarded for throwing it in the first place >Tell him how delicious the ice cream was and that he wasn't getting any >He breaks into tears, gets on his knees, begs for it and mutters out "Please let me d- down I-l j-just wanna t-tell you how I'm feeling, I've got to make y-you u-understand" >HRW I respond "I'm never gonna give you "Up", never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and dessert you" se, being the autist he is, he doesn't stop there Haven't seen em since.
1 Anonymous #665681321 2 28/01 00:28:36 JPG 458x305 14 KB >Be me >2009 (12 years old) >Cousins coming over >Hated the autistic 10 year old from the minute he could speak English >Kinda looks like pic related >Really wants to see the movie Up >Just so happens we have it on DVD, or I do at least >Notices it when he arrives >Asks if he can have it >Tell him no right off the bat >Of col >He won't stop bothering people about it >Eventually quiets down until dinnertime >F------ spaghetti again >He's sat opposite me and starts going on about it again >l get sick of his s--- and yell NO at him >He literally grabs his bowl of spaghetti and runs up my little brothers treehouse with it >l'm asked to go check if he's OK >Arrive and he starts going off at me again >Little did he know the ladder wasn't attached so I could just remove it >So I did >Go back and tell everyone that he's fine, he just wants to be alone >10 minutes later and f--- yeah it's ice cream time >Asked to ask him if he wants any >Head back, the retard threw his fork on the other side of the tree in anger >Asks me to run around and get it him >Obviously tell him no, and that he's retarded for throwing it in the first place >Tell him how delicious the ice cream was and that he wasn't getting any >He breaks into tears, gets on his knees, begs for it and mutters out "Please let me d- down I-l j-just wanna t-tell you how I'm feeling, I've got to make y-you u-understand" >HRW I respond "I'm never gonna give you "Up", never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and dessert you" se, being the autist he is, he doesn't stop there Haven't seen em since.

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I can hear him laughing at me | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 12/24/18(Mon)00:05:30 No.788087819 >The r--- dwarf is still in my walls ENOUGH >I hear bumps in the night >Fire off some .357 rounds into the wall >Complete silence until I hear it laugh 30 KB JPG >"Hoho!" >Get angry >Fire off more rounds >Hear a screech then a wimper >Hear it run off, dragging it's penis as it goes >Blood drips out from beneath the molding >l got him for now, but he'll be back View Thread
| Anonymous 12/24/18(Mon)00:05:30 No.788087819 >The r--- dwarf is still in my walls ENOUGH >I hear bumps in the night >Fire off some .357 rounds into the wall >Complete silence until I hear it laugh 30 KB JPG >"Hoho!" >Get angry >Fire off more rounds >Hear a screech then a wimper >Hear it run off, dragging it's penis as it goes >Blood drips out from beneath the molding >l got him for now, but he'll be back View Thread

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