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The path less taken | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)10:52:54 No.66351614 >be me >2nd grade >teacher makes us read a poem >then starts asking us questions >calls on me >"Anon what emotion was the poet feeling in this line?" >Boldly stand up >time to show teach how smart I am >"miss he didn't really feel anything" 53 KB JPG >"what was that anon?" >"It's just a poem. It's not like any of that actually happened to the poet" >stand there looking smug af >"Anon sit down" >she asks tommy if he knows the answer >"the poet was trying to convey sadness" >w-- >" yes that's correct tommy" So how did you guys find out you were retarded?

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)10:52:54 No.66351614 >be me >2nd grade >teacher makes us read a poem >then starts asking us questions >calls on me >"Anon what emotion was the poet feeling in this line?" >Boldly stand up >time to show teach how smart I am >"miss he didn't really feel anything" 53 KB JPG >"what was that anon?" >"It's just a poem. It's not like any of that actually happened to the poet" >stand there looking smug af >"Anon sit down" >she asks tommy if he knows the answer >"the poet was trying to convey sadness" >w-- >" yes that's correct tommy" So how did you guys find out you were retarded?

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Anon is a loser. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)09:30:57 No.867629201 >be me >can't do math >can't ride bike >can't hold a job >can't even cook 9 KB JPG >no GF >no IRL frens >family doesn't like me >cat doesn't even like me How f----- am I ? : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)09:32:28 No.867629261 >>867629201 (OP) # Wow, those are all some of my favourite things. I pity you and your life, anon. : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)09:34:40 No.867629336 >>867629201 (OP) # I'm somehow worse than you : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)09:36:52 No.867629419 >>867629201 (OP) # I'm sure pissing and moaning like a woman about it on an anonymous taiwanese basket weaving forum will help Man the f--- up and make some changes

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)09:30:57 No.867629201 >be me >can't do math >can't ride bike >can't hold a job >can't even cook 9 KB JPG >no GF >no IRL frens >family doesn't like me >cat doesn't even like me How f----- am I ? : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)09:32:28 No.867629261 >>867629201 (OP) # Wow, those are all some of my favourite things. I pity you and your life, anon. : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)09:34:40 No.867629336 >>867629201 (OP) # I'm somehow worse than you : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)09:36:52 No.867629419 >>867629201 (OP) # I'm sure pissing and moaning like a woman about it on an anonymous taiwanese basket weaving forum will help Man the f--- up and make some changes

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Anon uses android | /r/Greentext

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Anon is never going to get laid | /r/Greentext

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Anon rethinks his life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)23:22:44 No.867650807 >hop on 4chan instead of going to bed >See some f------ retard talking about how he's been c------ all over pair of panties he stole from a little girl 24 KB JPG Why the f--- do i do this to myself

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)23:22:44 No.867650807 >hop on 4chan instead of going to bed >See some f------ retard talking about how he's been c------ all over pair of panties he stole from a little girl 24 KB JPG Why the f--- do i do this to myself

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Anon unlocks his car | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/29/21(Wed)01:48:08 No.65564972 >turn car key right to unlock >that was to lock >remind myself that whatever i think the way to turn is, its actually the opposite >next day >think about turning left to unlock >remember i noted to myself its always the opposite of what i think 241 KB PNG >turn right to unlock >right was to lock

: Anonymous 09/29/21(Wed)01:48:08 No.65564972 >turn car key right to unlock >that was to lock >remind myself that whatever i think the way to turn is, its actually the opposite >next day >think about turning left to unlock >remember i noted to myself its always the opposite of what i think 241 KB PNG >turn right to unlock >right was to lock

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Skittles and a blow job, two bits | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/19(Sat)16:46:19 No.791027608 >be me >6 years ago >be army f-- >at basic training >s--- sucks man >about 5 weeks in start getting used to 583 KB PNG the routine >my platoon is cleaning the barracks one afternoon >drill sergeants burst in the room screaming >madder than I've ever seen them >ohshit.exe >they f--- up our lives for several hours >100's of push-ups, sit-ups, etc. >apparently someone in the platoon was giving other dudes b------- and paying them in skittles from his MRE's he'd been saving >he was literally paying people in skittles to let him blow them >drill sergeants found out about it because a private told them what was going on >private told them "I let anon blow me, but he didn't give me skittles for it like we agreed" >skittles f-- got kicked out >lots of people got in trouble >never had an ounce of privacy after that >our platoon is the biggest joke on the base >mfw I never got free skittles and a b------

: Anonymous 01/26/19(Sat)16:46:19 No.791027608 >be me >6 years ago >be army f-- >at basic training >s--- sucks man >about 5 weeks in start getting used to 583 KB PNG the routine >my platoon is cleaning the barracks one afternoon >drill sergeants burst in the room screaming >madder than I've ever seen them >ohshit.exe >they f--- up our lives for several hours >100's of push-ups, sit-ups, etc. >apparently someone in the platoon was giving other dudes b------- and paying them in skittles from his MRE's he'd been saving >he was literally paying people in skittles to let him blow them >drill sergeants found out about it because a private told them what was going on >private told them "I let anon blow me, but he didn't give me skittles for it like we agreed" >skittles f-- got kicked out >lots of people got in trouble >never had an ounce of privacy after that >our platoon is the biggest joke on the base >mfw I never got free skittles and a b------

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Anon considers their options | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/19(Wed)23:01:42 No.55439257 >wanting to kill yourself >remembering your chances of spawning back as indian are too high 280 KB GIF View Thread

: Anonymous 11/20/19(Wed)23:01:42 No.55439257 >wanting to kill yourself >remembering your chances of spawning back as indian are too high 280 KB GIF View Thread

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This almost made me cry | /r/Greentext

Bell 9:22 PM O 9 10% I O Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566 story time because I want to share and it's a special day >be me, 22, KHHV, NEET >no real purpose in life, autistic >live in a small town but still don't know anyone >down the street is a harvest festival going on >go there on a whim >see nice old man making caramel apples hand dipped >l go over and buy one with some pocket change I ow saved up >it's really good >we talk about caramel apples >his name is Ted >he asks if l'd like to help him make apples >enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM >l get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too >Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident >we talk every day about apples and candy >he gets me into football >we watch football together, he lets me show him anime >7 years pass >l've been there the longest >Ted doesn't come to work, I call him >No response, I go to his house >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor >call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital >cry for days because my only friend is gone >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud" >burst into tears in front of lawyer >every day I go to that factory to work hard >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday >Still KHHV, but I love making apples >Whole town knows me as the apple man >Never been happier making caramel apples Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm making you proud.

Bell 9:22 PM O 9 10% I O Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566 story time because I want to share and it's a special day >be me, 22, KHHV, NEET >no real purpose in life, autistic >live in a small town but still don't know anyone >down the street is a harvest festival going on >go there on a whim >see nice old man making caramel apples hand dipped >l go over and buy one with some pocket change I ow saved up >it's really good >we talk about caramel apples >his name is Ted >he asks if l'd like to help him make apples >enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM >l get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too >Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident >we talk every day about apples and candy >he gets me into football >we watch football together, he lets me show him anime >7 years pass >l've been there the longest >Ted doesn't come to work, I call him >No response, I go to his house >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor >call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital >cry for days because my only friend is gone >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud" >burst into tears in front of lawyer >every day I go to that factory to work hard >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday >Still KHHV, but I love making apples >Whole town knows me as the apple man >Never been happier making caramel apples Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm making you proud.

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Anon is a pirate | /r/Greentext

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Jailhouse Rock | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I'm trying to get in prison.(...) 11/29/21(Mon)14:18:22 No.66353841 Hello >NEET >Boring life >Lives in Europe where everything gun-related is illegal >Want to see how prison feels like >Bought ammunition illegaly 336 KB JPG >Bank has asked me about the transaction >l told them to f--- off >Bank now has forwarded the case to the cops >Cops had a hearing with me, told them I would rely on my right of silence >They will now put me in prison for 2 months if I don't reveal anyhing Yes I will go to prison, I want to have a change in my life. I want to feel prison lifestyle, hopefully | can make friends with some dark-triad personalities and becoming a criminal. I'm sick of this life, at this point l'd rather die as a criminal.

: Anonymous I'm trying to get in prison.(...) 11/29/21(Mon)14:18:22 No.66353841 Hello >NEET >Boring life >Lives in Europe where everything gun-related is illegal >Want to see how prison feels like >Bought ammunition illegaly 336 KB JPG >Bank has asked me about the transaction >l told them to f--- off >Bank now has forwarded the case to the cops >Cops had a hearing with me, told them I would rely on my right of silence >They will now put me in prison for 2 months if I don't reveal anyhing Yes I will go to prison, I want to have a change in my life. I want to feel prison lifestyle, hopefully | can make friends with some dark-triad personalities and becoming a criminal. I'm sick of this life, at this point l'd rather die as a criminal.

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Anon trolls reddit | /r/Greentext

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Gentle giant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)10:25:40 No.66351436 >be 6'5 >work hard every day for my looks >shower daily >lift weights and eat lots of protein >have a decent amount of muscle 11 KB JPG >"WOOOW anon you're so tall" I'm more than my height you know... : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)10:27:26 No.66351438 : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)10:29:04 No.66351446 >NO00 I HAVE AN OVERWHELMING ADVANTAGE WOE IS ME kys

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)10:25:40 No.66351436 >be 6'5 >work hard every day for my looks >shower daily >lift weights and eat lots of protein >have a decent amount of muscle 11 KB JPG >"WOOOW anon you're so tall" I'm more than my height you know... : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)10:27:26 No.66351438 : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)10:29:04 No.66351446 >NO00 I HAVE AN OVERWHELMING ADVANTAGE WOE IS ME kys

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Screamin' Eagle | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a creep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)21:13:13 No.66344539 >be me >27-year-old neet >There's a huge family gathering cause aunt is coming back after moving to another state with her family for about a decade 98 KB GIF >don't want to go but live with mom so she forces me >have little cousins that I have never met >only one I remember is this female cousin that last time I saw was ten years ago when she was about 4 and played peek-a-boo with her >be there >notice female cousin became a semen demon >don't know how to get her attention so start telling her stories from when she was a toddler >she laughs and we exchange instagrams >be home >desperate to free willy >be scrolling through her insta and find some beach photos >almostcoom.wav >choose one and start cooming >get a message from her asking why I'm I liking and unliking one of her pictures >realize I was accidentally tapping with the tip of my thumb while I was climaxing >panic,exe >open the message don't know what the f--- to say >she keeps asking w-- was I doing >it's been 15 mins and I still havent answered but she knows I'm seeing her messages Anons what the f--- do I say I don't want to be labeled a creep she just got here for f---- sake 9 Replies View Thread

: Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)21:13:13 No.66344539 >be me >27-year-old neet >There's a huge family gathering cause aunt is coming back after moving to another state with her family for about a decade 98 KB GIF >don't want to go but live with mom so she forces me >have little cousins that I have never met >only one I remember is this female cousin that last time I saw was ten years ago when she was about 4 and played peek-a-boo with her >be there >notice female cousin became a semen demon >don't know how to get her attention so start telling her stories from when she was a toddler >she laughs and we exchange instagrams >be home >desperate to free willy >be scrolling through her insta and find some beach photos >almostcoom.wav >choose one and start cooming >get a message from her asking why I'm I liking and unliking one of her pictures >realize I was accidentally tapping with the tip of my thumb while I was climaxing >panic,exe >open the message don't know what the f--- to say >she keeps asking w-- was I doing >it's been 15 mins and I still havent answered but she knows I'm seeing her messages Anons what the f--- do I say I don't want to be labeled a creep she just got here for f---- sake 9 Replies View Thread

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Anon is a pushover | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:21:00 No.777406043 >friend arrives with his gf to my town >l allow them to live in my spare apartment >his gf is a huge cat lover >they find a kitten on the street and bring him in the 114 KB PNG apartment >l tell him w--, he didn't even ask me >He said it's okay he'll just take the kitten and put him back on the street they found him and tell his gf he found an owner >I refuse and take kitten to my place >They leave >l'm now here with this stupid kitten I never asked for Am Ia pushover? : Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:23:54 No.777406227 >>777406043 (OP) # Yes.

: Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:21:00 No.777406043 >friend arrives with his gf to my town >l allow them to live in my spare apartment >his gf is a huge cat lover >they find a kitten on the street and bring him in the 114 KB PNG apartment >l tell him w--, he didn't even ask me >He said it's okay he'll just take the kitten and put him back on the street they found him and tell his gf he found an owner >I refuse and take kitten to my place >They leave >l'm now here with this stupid kitten I never asked for Am Ia pushover? : Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:23:54 No.777406227 >>777406043 (OP) # Yes.

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Anon wants a revolution | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)01:25:42 No.867608368 COLUMMA DE HIERRO I just want to die in a revolution. I'll never get laid, I'll never live a fulfilling life, the least I can do is give my body to a cause I believe in. I really don't see how my life could gain any meaning beyond this. The only time I even feel slightly alive is when I fantasize about wiping the capitalist scum from the streets and executing billionaires. I'm done with this s---, I'm done with my s--- job, I'm done with settling for jacking off, I'm done with working 12 hour days and barely making enough to survive. There is Campesina la revulucion te dara la Tierra 13 KB JPG nothing to return home to, I'm ready to die for the revolution. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)01:27:31 No.867608468 >>867608368 (OP) # I just want to kill Communists

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)01:25:42 No.867608368 COLUMMA DE HIERRO I just want to die in a revolution. I'll never get laid, I'll never live a fulfilling life, the least I can do is give my body to a cause I believe in. I really don't see how my life could gain any meaning beyond this. The only time I even feel slightly alive is when I fantasize about wiping the capitalist scum from the streets and executing billionaires. I'm done with this s---, I'm done with my s--- job, I'm done with settling for jacking off, I'm done with working 12 hour days and barely making enough to survive. There is Campesina la revulucion te dara la Tierra 13 KB JPG nothing to return home to, I'm ready to die for the revolution. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)01:27:31 No.867608468 >>867608368 (OP) # I just want to kill Communists

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Double life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)07:04:51 No.66349935 F--- this. 1633547431174.gif 1.92 MB GIF >finally found a gf after, 26 years >she's out of my league by a mile >i really like her, lie about everything in my life to get her >pretend l'm smart, refined, a man of taste that cares about environment, social rights, racism ecc >she's a basically a sjw and forces me to go to pride parades strikes for climaten similar stuff >can't introduce her to my few friends because they are terrible as I am in reality >can't introduce her to my parents because they know how I am really Should I just dump her and suffer? I feel like I'm living two lives and going crazy

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)07:04:51 No.66349935 F--- this. 1633547431174.gif 1.92 MB GIF >finally found a gf after, 26 years >she's out of my league by a mile >i really like her, lie about everything in my life to get her >pretend l'm smart, refined, a man of taste that cares about environment, social rights, racism ecc >she's a basically a sjw and forces me to go to pride parades strikes for climaten similar stuff >can't introduce her to my few friends because they are terrible as I am in reality >can't introduce her to my parents because they know how I am really Should I just dump her and suffer? I feel like I'm living two lives and going crazy

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Anon warns the youth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)09:13:29 No.66348311 >wake up at 3am in a weird mood >Go and check old highschool classmates social media, looking up names in my yearbook >One of my old best friends is an engineer, owns his own house, 800 KB PNG married >Old gf also married >Guy from the basketball team seems to be doing great, looks fit, happy >I was in honours with some dudes, they're all working in doctorates now >I spend my days starting at computer screens to try and stop thinking about how I wasted it allI, how I f----- it all up If anyone here is underage please please do me a favour and try and get it together okay? Can you F------ TRY?????? Fix it now before it's all over.

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)09:13:29 No.66348311 >wake up at 3am in a weird mood >Go and check old highschool classmates social media, looking up names in my yearbook >One of my old best friends is an engineer, owns his own house, 800 KB PNG married >Old gf also married >Guy from the basketball team seems to be doing great, looks fit, happy >I was in honours with some dudes, they're all working in doctorates now >I spend my days starting at computer screens to try and stop thinking about how I wasted it allI, how I f----- it all up If anyone here is underage please please do me a favour and try and get it together okay? Can you F------ TRY?????? Fix it now before it's all over.

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