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: Anonymous 11/15/16(Tue)15:50:54 No.76301095 >going to a party >everybody watching movies >be generally introverted >haven't talked to anyone, just been watching the movies >movie ends, people debate what to watch >l decide to put on the movie I brought >it was pretty funny, and it had Jim Carrey in it >everyone really likes it >people start talking to me and thank me for bringing the movie >no one cared who I was until I put on The Mask >>76301165 # >>76301276 # >>76301346 # >>76301449 # >>76301636 # >>76301649 # >>76301761 # >>76301878 # >>76301945 # >>76303580 # >>76303897 # >>76305477 #
: Anonymous 11/15/16(Tue)15:50:54 No.76301095 >going to a party >everybody watching movies >be generally introverted >haven't talked to anyone, just been watching the movies >movie ends, people debate what to watch >l decide to put on the movie I brought >it was pretty funny, and it had Jim Carrey in it >everyone really likes it >people start talking to me and thank me for bringing the movie >no one cared who I was until I put on The Mask >>76301165 # >>76301276 # >>76301346 # >>76301449 # >>76301636 # >>76301649 # >>76301761 # >>76301878 # >>76301945 # >>76303580 # >>76303897 # >>76305477 #

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Anon lifts | /r/Greentext

File: 1638234712813.jpg (757 KB, 2320x3088) U Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)20:12:35 No.66358689 >start lifting 4 years ago >move a few weeks ago >new gym >see small fit asian girl checking me out >something snaps in my head, like a switch had been flipped >walk over to her and just say "hey I'm anon, you're really cute, wanna go get drinks?" >she smiles and says yes >we leave the gym and drive to a bar, get drinks, and then go back to my place and lose my virginity has it been this easy all along? O Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)20:17:24 No.66358763 Not only did I not ask, you have the audacity to come onto MY BOARD and tell these flagrant lies. Such slanderous and false remarks should have you beheaded, anon. Fake and gay, this is all that composes your matter.
File: 1638234712813.jpg (757 KB, 2320x3088) U Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)20:12:35 No.66358689 >start lifting 4 years ago >move a few weeks ago >new gym >see small fit asian girl checking me out >something snaps in my head, like a switch had been flipped >walk over to her and just say "hey I'm anon, you're really cute, wanna go get drinks?" >she smiles and says yes >we leave the gym and drive to a bar, get drinks, and then go back to my place and lose my virginity has it been this easy all along? O Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)20:17:24 No.66358763 Not only did I not ask, you have the audacity to come onto MY BOARD and tell these flagrant lies. Such slanderous and false remarks should have you beheaded, anon. Fake and gay, this is all that composes your matter.

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Anon has an objection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)12:50:07 No.866280121 >be the first human ever >die >2 million years later humans of the future uncover your skull >they call you "H---" and they call your children "h--- erectus" 31 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)12:50:07 No.866280121 >be the first human ever >die >2 million years later humans of the future uncover your skull >they call you "H---" and they call your children "h--- erectus" 31 KB JPG

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Anon is mad | /r/Greentext

: Anon 11/30/21(Tue)12:35:36 No.66365002 >be me >be 6'4 tall >have decent beardgrowth >am introverted but don't have social anxiety >have touched t------ before >am overweight but not a fat f--- >have a good paying job and a car 198 KB JPG >have some friends even some girls >still kissless virgin with 21 You f------ said it would be easy!
: Anon 11/30/21(Tue)12:35:36 No.66365002 >be me >be 6'4 tall >have decent beardgrowth >am introverted but don't have social anxiety >have touched t------ before >am overweight but not a fat f--- >have a good paying job and a car 198 KB JPG >have some friends even some girls >still kissless virgin with 21 You f------ said it would be easy!

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Anon chooses the wrong girl | /r/Greentext

ITT: Times you f----- up and chose the wrong girl, l'll start >be me >be 19 >met two australian girls whilst on holiday in europe, we'll call them 81 KB JPG Blondie and Paris, both solid 8/10 >f----- both of them >kept in touch with both >things start getting serious between me and Paris >Blondie was slightly hotter >and nicer >but would require more effort >bring Paris home to meet my parents >they like her >fuckyeah >older sister walks in >looks at Paris >Paris looks at her >I look at both of them >they are almost identical >mfw : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)00:08:54 No.746509864 i hope you slept well.
ITT: Times you f----- up and chose the wrong girl, l'll start >be me >be 19 >met two australian girls whilst on holiday in europe, we'll call them 81 KB JPG Blondie and Paris, both solid 8/10 >f----- both of them >kept in touch with both >things start getting serious between me and Paris >Blondie was slightly hotter >and nicer >but would require more effort >bring Paris home to meet my parents >they like her >fuckyeah >older sister walks in >looks at Paris >Paris looks at her >I look at both of them >they are almost identical >mfw : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)00:08:54 No.746509864 i hope you slept well.

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Anon tells an embarrassing story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/16/18(Thu)21:24:51 No.777376838 Embarrassing story time /b/ >be me >around 6 >parents get divorced >split time 50/50 with parents >mom stays in house >dad moves to s----- one room apartment >my sister, dad, and I all have to share one bedroom >entire apartment building has one specific smel >basically cherish that smell because it reminded my of 103 KB JPG childhood >ffw like 8 years >smell that smell again >"Holy f--- it's that smell!" >realize it smells fammilure >mfw I realize that smell is weed
: Anonymous 08/16/18(Thu)21:24:51 No.777376838 Embarrassing story time /b/ >be me >around 6 >parents get divorced >split time 50/50 with parents >mom stays in house >dad moves to s----- one room apartment >my sister, dad, and I all have to share one bedroom >entire apartment building has one specific smel >basically cherish that smell because it reminded my of 103 KB JPG childhood >ffw like 8 years >smell that smell again >"Holy f--- it's that smell!" >realize it smells fammilure >mfw I realize that smell is weed

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Anon gets scammed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)07:48:46 No.66362859 204 B PNG >be me >in love with some bitch >she posts a story in a swimsuit >she jokes about opening an onlyfans >l know she doesn't have one otherwise I would've found it by now >reply her story and tell her I would actually buy a boob pic >she jokes that she'll only sell me a couple of pixels for 50 bucks >tell her l'm serious so she sends me her venmo >venmo her 50 dlls from my savings account >bitch is surprised that I actually did it >demand my boob pic >she sends me pic related >coom,jpg >realize it's not even her skin tone and doesn't look like the texture of a boob let alone a nipple Did I just get f------ scammed anons? : Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)08:06:10 No.66363027 >literally paying for a crumb of p---- >>66363035 # >>66363320 #
: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)07:48:46 No.66362859 204 B PNG >be me >in love with some bitch >she posts a story in a swimsuit >she jokes about opening an onlyfans >l know she doesn't have one otherwise I would've found it by now >reply her story and tell her I would actually buy a boob pic >she jokes that she'll only sell me a couple of pixels for 50 bucks >tell her l'm serious so she sends me her venmo >venmo her 50 dlls from my savings account >bitch is surprised that I actually did it >demand my boob pic >she sends me pic related >coom,jpg >realize it's not even her skin tone and doesn't look like the texture of a boob let alone a nipple Did I just get f------ scammed anons? : Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)08:06:10 No.66363027 >literally paying for a crumb of p---- >>66363035 # >>66363320 #

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Anon looks up to his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)04:16:52 No.65201009 >Be my dad >In college in the mid 70s >have engineering class >have to design a small structure that is as light and as strong as possible 106 KB PNG >get idea >go to hardware store >get small steel tubes >get something to wrap around the tube >Get helium >put helium in container >seal off container >go to class >structure weighs close to nothing and is also strong >get A on assignment He told me this story when I was a kid and he died a few years ago Love you dad
: Anonymous 08/31/21(Tue)04:16:52 No.65201009 >Be my dad >In college in the mid 70s >have engineering class >have to design a small structure that is as light and as strong as possible 106 KB PNG >get idea >go to hardware store >get small steel tubes >get something to wrap around the tube >Get helium >put helium in container >seal off container >go to class >structure weighs close to nothing and is also strong >get A on assignment He told me this story when I was a kid and he died a few years ago Love you dad

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Anon makes a mistake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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op is a natural | /r/Greentext


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Anon works at Jollibee's | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fri)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered 2>9006183 # 229006205 # : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy
: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fri)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered 2>9006183 # 229006205 # : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy

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Anon mods his toilet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)14:47:35 No.863275091 >be me >throw pic related away >replace with a 1/2 thread >connect toilet >fills in 25 seconds instead of 1 minute Why didnt u overclock ur s------ 79 KB PNG 35 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)14:47:35 No.863275091 >be me >throw pic related away >replace with a 1/2 thread >connect toilet >fills in 25 seconds instead of 1 minute Why didnt u overclock ur s------ 79 KB PNG 35 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon calls /r9k/ fat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/21 (Mon)22:34:09 No.66356597 This board is full of ugly fat men. Call yourself chubby all you want, it's still disgusting. All these hot women and anime girl images you post makes it even more pathetic. 67 KB JPG 19 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)23:52:15 No.66357652 >this board is full of ugly fat men are you saying this from the perspective that you AREN'T an ugly fat man? you're posting vshit, i'm going to broadly assume you're the fattest out of all of us, f-----.
: Anonymous 11/29/21 (Mon)22:34:09 No.66356597 This board is full of ugly fat men. Call yourself chubby all you want, it's still disgusting. All these hot women and anime girl images you post makes it even more pathetic. 67 KB JPG 19 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)23:52:15 No.66357652 >this board is full of ugly fat men are you saying this from the perspective that you AREN'T an ugly fat man? you're posting vshit, i'm going to broadly assume you're the fattest out of all of us, f-----.

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Anon has a condition | /r/Greentext

le: 12296-2863.jpg (13 KB, 320x240) O Ipol Anonymous 08/24/20(Mon)11:23:06 No.273963399 [Reply] >went to the store without a mask >cashier says i need one >"I have a medical condition" >cashier says 'l don't believe you, what is it?" >'i have covid-19, so it's hard to breathe' >cashier says 'oh ok then' >mfw
le: 12296-2863.jpg (13 KB, 320x240) O Ipol Anonymous 08/24/20(Mon)11:23:06 No.273963399 [Reply] >went to the store without a mask >cashier says i need one >"I have a medical condition" >cashier says 'l don't believe you, what is it?" >'i have covid-19, so it's hard to breathe' >cashier says 'oh ok then' >mfw

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Home invasion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)15:09:11 No.777402605 How hard did I f--- up ? Hon Street Monser suypka A VAGUE SENSE OF UNEASE >Have a free day out of schedule >Sit in front of my PC >Hear somebody trying to 89 KB JPG open my door with a picklock >Almost s--- my pants >Grab my big ass flashlight >As soon as the doors opens I smash the face of the guy with my flashlight >See him falling down the stairs backwards >Slam shut my door >Hear people rushing the stairwell >Screaming >Sirens in the distance Act of self-defense or not?
: Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)15:09:11 No.777402605 How hard did I f--- up ? Hon Street Monser suypka A VAGUE SENSE OF UNEASE >Have a free day out of schedule >Sit in front of my PC >Hear somebody trying to 89 KB JPG open my door with a picklock >Almost s--- my pants >Grab my big ass flashlight >As soon as the doors opens I smash the face of the guy with my flashlight >See him falling down the stairs backwards >Slam shut my door >Hear people rushing the stairwell >Screaming >Sirens in the distance Act of self-defense or not?

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Anon is skinny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)22:57:38 No.867652933 >be me >skinny as f--- >140 Ibs >severe anger problem >adrenaline gives me retard strength >can overpower guys 50 Ibs 7 KB JPG heavier than me >i want to gain weight >scared to though because of my anger I feel like nature intended me to be a skinny f---. Should I gain the weight anyway? 6'2" btw. I could easily be 180 with proper diet and exercise
: Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)22:57:38 No.867652933 >be me >skinny as f--- >140 Ibs >severe anger problem >adrenaline gives me retard strength >can overpower guys 50 Ibs 7 KB JPG heavier than me >i want to gain weight >scared to though because of my anger I feel like nature intended me to be a skinny f---. Should I gain the weight anyway? 6'2" btw. I could easily be 180 with proper diet and exercise

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Anon gets head | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)11:37:47 No.777410410 got a bj from a friend while she was pissing >be us 18-19ish >we go to a party together >getting a good buzz on talking with friends >tell her i gotta piss ill be back >wait anon im coming with you i gotta go too >okay.jpg >we get to washroom and lock door >i go first while shes waiting and kind of watching >okay your turn >i wash my hands as she sits and starts peeing >i look over and its hot as f--- hearing her pee and seeing her sitting on the toilet >i walk over and just kind of pull it out >she instantly takes it and blows me till i shoot my load down her throat >go back to party one and only time anything ever happened with us.
| Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)11:37:47 No.777410410 got a bj from a friend while she was pissing >be us 18-19ish >we go to a party together >getting a good buzz on talking with friends >tell her i gotta piss ill be back >wait anon im coming with you i gotta go too >okay.jpg >we get to washroom and lock door >i go first while shes waiting and kind of watching >okay your turn >i wash my hands as she sits and starts peeing >i look over and its hot as f--- hearing her pee and seeing her sitting on the toilet >i walk over and just kind of pull it out >she instantly takes it and blows me till i shoot my load down her throat >go back to party one and only time anything ever happened with us.

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Anon goes to the jail. | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (36 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)21:29:43 No.783188407 [Reply] > > be me > locked up for 2 years for driving under the influence of Oxy > going into an all black cell block, 2 other white guys in there are all tore up from regular beatings > f--- that. > look for the biggest black monster I can find. > spot him. 6'5" build like Bautista. > "let's do this" I think. > walk right up there to him, yell, "you! Big Nig!" > he stands up, full head taller than me. I stare hi right in the eye. > "I'll suck your d--- on the reg, if you keep me safe." > spend 2 years on easy street,safe and sound no one f---- with me. Suck some big black d---. Who cares.
File: image.jpg (36 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)21:29:43 No.783188407 [Reply] > > be me > locked up for 2 years for driving under the influence of Oxy > going into an all black cell block, 2 other white guys in there are all tore up from regular beatings > f--- that. > look for the biggest black monster I can find. > spot him. 6'5" build like Bautista. > "let's do this" I think. > walk right up there to him, yell, "you! Big Nig!" > he stands up, full head taller than me. I stare hi right in the eye. > "I'll suck your d--- on the reg, if you keep me safe." > spend 2 years on easy street,safe and sound no one f---- with me. Suck some big black d---. Who cares.

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anon has an announcement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/22/20(Tue)23:46:10 No.525758689 >>525758792 >>525761326 File: Cheers my friends.jpg (160 KB, 1200x600) >Normal meal time at Hogwarts >Suddenly, Dumbledore stretch his legs and stands up >Takes air and yells at the top of his lungs >"HOWEVER" >He said calmly >All Slytherins recoil in fear , some even break down and start crying >Dumbledore smirks and sits back down to eat
Anonymous 09/22/20(Tue)23:46:10 No.525758689 >>525758792 >>525761326 File: Cheers my friends.jpg (160 KB, 1200x600) >Normal meal time at Hogwarts >Suddenly, Dumbledore stretch his legs and stands up >Takes air and yells at the top of his lungs >"HOWEVER" >He said calmly >All Slytherins recoil in fear , some even break down and start crying >Dumbledore smirks and sits back down to eat

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Anon is an animal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)23:15:51 No.867600277 My cat ate my food so I beat the f--- out of her so bad she s--- and vomited all over the floor as I was punching her and now she won't come anywhere near me. What the f--- is wrong with me? 1.88 MB JPG 65 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)01:30:58 No.867608686 >>867600277 (OP) # Lol kill it already you f------ chinkoid Imao : Anonymous 11/29/21 (Mon)01:37:36 No.867609077 F--- the cat, what did you order that looks delicious : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)01:43:51 No.867609501 >>867600277 (OP) # You're a retard. Thats all really. Just a violent retard. Its best you dont own animals or get into relationships.
: Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)23:15:51 No.867600277 My cat ate my food so I beat the f--- out of her so bad she s--- and vomited all over the floor as I was punching her and now she won't come anywhere near me. What the f--- is wrong with me? 1.88 MB JPG 65 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)01:30:58 No.867608686 >>867600277 (OP) # Lol kill it already you f------ chinkoid Imao : Anonymous 11/29/21 (Mon)01:37:36 No.867609077 F--- the cat, what did you order that looks delicious : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)01:43:51 No.867609501 >>867600277 (OP) # You're a retard. Thats all really. Just a violent retard. Its best you dont own animals or get into relationships.

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