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Anon is not attractive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/20(Sat)20:36:38 No.826674449 >at university >accidentally bump into a girl carrying papers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >l say something like "hey, its like in the movies" 228 KB PNG >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive" 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/02/20(Sat)20:36:38 No.826674449 >at university >accidentally bump into a girl carrying papers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >l say something like "hey, its like in the movies" 228 KB PNG >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive" 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon hates the Minecraft community | /r/Greentext

I f------ hate the Minecraft community >ask game devs to add something >they add it >ew w-- why would they add something we didn't want 56 KB JPG
I f------ hate the Minecraft community >ask game devs to add something >they add it >ew w-- why would they add something we didn't want 56 KB JPG

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Earl of Sandwich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know l'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know l'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because I usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash

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Anon feels mischievous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)23:07:14 No.6467211C >Be me >Working at Burger King >l add an extra chicken nuggets to bags when they're for a kid's meal >Imagine the kid feeling so lucky he got an extra nugget >He wasn't actually lucky though, as I did that deliberately 12 KB JPG My devilish nature cannot be contained
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)23:07:14 No.6467211C >Be me >Working at Burger King >l add an extra chicken nuggets to bags when they're for a kid's meal >Imagine the kid feeling so lucky he got an extra nugget >He wasn't actually lucky though, as I did that deliberately 12 KB JPG My devilish nature cannot be contained

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Anon secretly just wanted to fuck his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)01:18:32 No.66405526 >be me >have a degenerate sister >stalk her twitter sometimes and found she has an onlyfans >want to show her the dangers of showing her body on the internet >ideajpg >subscribe to her onlyfans with a fake 13 KB PNG name >earn her thrust and also troll her by paying for specific videos like toe spreading, shoving her brother's (me) controller up her vag, sucking her t--- etc etc >troll her by asking her to record a video with her brother (know she would never do that) >unsurprisingly she rejects my request >tell her that I know where she lives and if she doesn't deliver she'll suffer the consequences >sis thinks it's just a bluff >write our adress to scare her >mom is sewing on the couch next to our big window >idea2.png >tell her her mom looks cute sewing >tell her to be careful while she sleeps >bitch blocks me >be dinner time >she looks really anxious and isnt talking much Hope she learns her f------ lesson
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)01:18:32 No.66405526 >be me >have a degenerate sister >stalk her twitter sometimes and found she has an onlyfans >want to show her the dangers of showing her body on the internet >ideajpg >subscribe to her onlyfans with a fake 13 KB PNG name >earn her thrust and also troll her by paying for specific videos like toe spreading, shoving her brother's (me) controller up her vag, sucking her t--- etc etc >troll her by asking her to record a video with her brother (know she would never do that) >unsurprisingly she rejects my request >tell her that I know where she lives and if she doesn't deliver she'll suffer the consequences >sis thinks it's just a bluff >write our adress to scare her >mom is sewing on the couch next to our big window >idea2.png >tell her her mom looks cute sewing >tell her to be careful while she sleeps >bitch blocks me >be dinner time >she looks really anxious and isnt talking much Hope she learns her f------ lesson

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Anon goes swimming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6iroW1cc 12/02/21(Thu)21:07:15 No.350473422 >be me >weigh 650 lbs >can't really move to exercise so I just sit inside playing WoW all day >healthcare provider forced me to go water aerobics class today >most embarrassing day of my life 29 KB JPG >wheeled in and lowered into the water while lesser obese people stare >helpers let go of me, I immediately start sinking >luckily stop with nose above water, held aloft by fart gas inside stomach >sit at the back flailing around a little >rip an enormous fart >it gets trapped entirely between my asscheeks >sudden change in buoyancy causes me to flop forwards on to my face >weakly flail my arms but kind of want to die >cute skinny blonde helper can't tip me up, so she has to stick her hand into my asscrack to free the fart >she's shaking and crying afterwards saying she never wants to do volunteer work again >don't even bother apologizing, just keep my head down while they wheel me away and transport me home how was your day /pol/?
: Anonymous (ID: 6iroW1cc 12/02/21(Thu)21:07:15 No.350473422 >be me >weigh 650 lbs >can't really move to exercise so I just sit inside playing WoW all day >healthcare provider forced me to go water aerobics class today >most embarrassing day of my life 29 KB JPG >wheeled in and lowered into the water while lesser obese people stare >helpers let go of me, I immediately start sinking >luckily stop with nose above water, held aloft by fart gas inside stomach >sit at the back flailing around a little >rip an enormous fart >it gets trapped entirely between my asscheeks >sudden change in buoyancy causes me to flop forwards on to my face >weakly flail my arms but kind of want to die >cute skinny blonde helper can't tip me up, so she has to stick her hand into my asscrack to free the fart >she's shaking and crying afterwards saying she never wants to do volunteer work again >don't even bother apologizing, just keep my head down while they wheel me away and transport me home how was your day /pol/?

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Anon is gaming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)13:09:11 No.570829076 >Playing MMO >Walk up to rando >Start jumping >They jump too It's the little things, lads. 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)13:09:11 No.570829076 >Playing MMO >Walk up to rando >Start jumping >They jump too It's the little things, lads. 50 KB JPG

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anon gives some bad advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/18(Wed)17:08:54 No.45836085 >>45834564 # You should act a bit more alpha so she thinks you're a Chad, try messaging her "get your t--- out now or l'll f------ kill you. >>45837596 # Anonymous05/02/18(Wed)20:35:42 No.45837596 >>45836085 # do not do this
: Anonymous 05/02/18(Wed)17:08:54 No.45836085 >>45834564 # You should act a bit more alpha so she thinks you're a Chad, try messaging her "get your t--- out now or l'll f------ kill you. >>45837596 # Anonymous05/02/18(Wed)20:35:42 No.45837596 >>45836085 # do not do this

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Anon loves women. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:05:13 No.66402402 >straight 18 year old male with crippling sissy fetish who just wants to completely submit to a man who can fill the hole left by his father while dressed as a girl. how do i get a gf when this has somehow became what i want. 67 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:06:19 No.66402418 >>66402402 (OP) # >straight not sure about that one chief >>66402449 # >>66402479 #
: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:05:13 No.66402402 >straight 18 year old male with crippling sissy fetish who just wants to completely submit to a man who can fill the hole left by his father while dressed as a girl. how do i get a gf when this has somehow became what i want. 67 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:06:19 No.66402418 >>66402402 (OP) # >straight not sure about that one chief >>66402449 # >>66402479 #

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Anon makes a powerpoint | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 КВ PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw
> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 КВ PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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Anon's classmate knows the rules | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)23:49:19 No.867857894 > Be me > Go to primary school assembly in Year 5 (Britbong land) > One day the head teacher is asking us about school rules > Autistic kid puts hand up > Head teacher looks thrilled he can join the discussion 40 KB JPG > "Yes, what rule did you remember?" > "Don't say n-----" > Entire school hall loses it > He has to be taken outside > Head teacher can't carry on, everyone's laughing > Has to abandon assembly Sometimes it's better to assess the situation
Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)23:49:19 No.867857894 > Be me > Go to primary school assembly in Year 5 (Britbong land) > One day the head teacher is asking us about school rules > Autistic kid puts hand up > Head teacher looks thrilled he can join the discussion 40 KB JPG > "Yes, what rule did you remember?" > "Don't say n-----" > Entire school hall loses it > He has to be taken outside > Head teacher can't carry on, everyone's laughing > Has to abandon assembly Sometimes it's better to assess the situation

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Anon Believes that He Can Fool a Trained Nurse with a Plastic Arm | /r/Greentext


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And on that bombshell… | /r/Greentext


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Anon doesn’t know how to make food | /r/Greentext


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Anons granddad is proud | /r/Greentext


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Wtf did i just read | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 769031659 32 perccel ezelőt •.. Just got laid >Be Me >16 >Yesterday >At School hanging out with group of friends >See Stacy I like and get a boner >Put d--- in waistband like so many of you seem to 5,9 kB JPG recommend ItWorks.exe >Stacy comes up to me, "Oh, Hey Anon." >Gives me hug >5'5" and she is closer to 5' 10" >Have to reach up a little >D--- pops out through the top and rubs her stomach >Wasn't expecting it and instantly nut on her stomach >She was wearing a crop trop >She pulls away somewhat slowly to reveal a fat nut on her stomach >She gags and runs away nearly crying >Friends all look at me in disgust >I run off campus and am posting this from a local Dennys See Ya Later Virgins 3 REPLIES 5 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 769031659 32 perccel ezelőt •.. Just got laid >Be Me >16 >Yesterday >At School hanging out with group of friends >See Stacy I like and get a boner >Put d--- in waistband like so many of you seem to 5,9 kB JPG recommend ItWorks.exe >Stacy comes up to me, "Oh, Hey Anon." >Gives me hug >5'5" and she is closer to 5' 10" >Have to reach up a little >D--- pops out through the top and rubs her stomach >Wasn't expecting it and instantly nut on her stomach >She was wearing a crop trop >She pulls away somewhat slowly to reveal a fat nut on her stomach >She gags and runs away nearly crying >Friends all look at me in disgust >I run off campus and am posting this from a local Dennys See Ya Later Virgins 3 REPLIES 5 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon’s little brother goes to the school talent show. | /r/Greentext

Holy f--- do I have a story for you /b/ros. > be my little brother > Be at school > tard in his class has crush on 77 KB JPG 2/10 landwhale this f------ spastic hatches master plan to seduce land whale. > let's call the landwhale Katie > tard decides to go on the school talent show to sing her a song > but not just any song... > be day of talent show > tard gets last act > waddles his fat f------ ass up on stage > Gucci gang starts playing > tard opens his mouth > KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG > retard sings this, and only this for 3 minutes straight. > crowd and little bro in utter disbelief retard finishes and asks landwhale to come up on stage with him > landwhale comes up on stage grabs the mic and tells him to f--- right off Kek.mpeg > tard runs off crying and hasn't been seen since > tfw this was a week ago > tfw when he's either killed himself or is preparing his to shoot up the school > mfw
Holy f--- do I have a story for you /b/ros. > be my little brother > Be at school > tard in his class has crush on 77 KB JPG 2/10 landwhale this f------ spastic hatches master plan to seduce land whale. > let's call the landwhale Katie > tard decides to go on the school talent show to sing her a song > but not just any song... > be day of talent show > tard gets last act > waddles his fat f------ ass up on stage > Gucci gang starts playing > tard opens his mouth > KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG > retard sings this, and only this for 3 minutes straight. > crowd and little bro in utter disbelief retard finishes and asks landwhale to come up on stage with him > landwhale comes up on stage grabs the mic and tells him to f--- right off Kek.mpeg > tard runs off crying and hasn't been seen since > tfw this was a week ago > tfw when he's either killed himself or is preparing his to shoot up the school > mfw

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Therapy session | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:21:50 No.66393927 therapist.jpg 207 KB JPG >"So anon, when were you last sexually active?" >"No need to be shy. One? Two months ago, maybe?"
: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:21:50 No.66393927 therapist.jpg 207 KB JPG >"So anon, when were you last sexually active?" >"No need to be shy. One? Two months ago, maybe?"

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Anon’s 9th birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/18(Wed)06:17:38 No.44761552 >9th birthday >finally made some friends at school >convince mum for a small party >my brothers go to my grandparents for the day 143 KB JPG >she buys a custom CatDog and TinyTeddy cake >help mum and dad put up decorations >make lolly bags >set up games >its 12 o clock when the party starts >get exited to she parents the friends i have made and told them about >1 hour passed >another >and another >gets to 4 o clock when we were going to the cinema to see pokemon the movie >tfw nobody came >mum holding back tears says >'do you still want to go to the movies, anon?' >yes >dad comes in with car keys >looks like he had been crying, the worst i have ever seen him to this day >go to the movies >its great get millennium pikachu card >go to McDonald >happy meal and Pokemon toy >mum and dad ask how i feel >i ask why nobody came >mum says "You're special and you made them feel jealous' >dad just has a dead smile later on that night i was in bed and heard mum and dad talking. >'are we failures of parents?' >'I don't want him to grow up and think this is normal and to be sad and alone'.
: Anonymous 04/18/18(Wed)06:17:38 No.44761552 >9th birthday >finally made some friends at school >convince mum for a small party >my brothers go to my grandparents for the day 143 KB JPG >she buys a custom CatDog and TinyTeddy cake >help mum and dad put up decorations >make lolly bags >set up games >its 12 o clock when the party starts >get exited to she parents the friends i have made and told them about >1 hour passed >another >and another >gets to 4 o clock when we were going to the cinema to see pokemon the movie >tfw nobody came >mum holding back tears says >'do you still want to go to the movies, anon?' >yes >dad comes in with car keys >looks like he had been crying, the worst i have ever seen him to this day >go to the movies >its great get millennium pikachu card >go to McDonald >happy meal and Pokemon toy >mum and dad ask how i feel >i ask why nobody came >mum says "You're special and you made them feel jealous' >dad just has a dead smile later on that night i was in bed and heard mum and dad talking. >'are we failures of parents?' >'I don't want him to grow up and think this is normal and to be sad and alone'.

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Anon is an idiot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life
: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life

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