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i mean, he has a point... | /r/Greentext

That Guy No.54766295 Yesterday PNG 376.5 KiB 900x702 >Playing DnD >Wizard gets into a fight with an important NPC >When the wizard realizes who the NPC is, he apologizes and asks "As a token of my goodwill, would you like me to make you a magical sword?" >NPC agrees >Wizard casts polymorph and turns them into a sword. >Argues that the NPC shouldn't have a will save because they agreed to it. 10 replies
That Guy No.54766295 Yesterday PNG 376.5 KiB 900x702 >Playing DnD >Wizard gets into a fight with an important NPC >When the wizard realizes who the NPC is, he apologizes and asks "As a token of my goodwill, would you like me to make you a magical sword?" >NPC agrees >Wizard casts polymorph and turns them into a sword. >Argues that the NPC shouldn't have a will save because they agreed to it. 10 replies

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On the backburner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)07:33:11 No.66408053 > be me > 3th world muslim s------- > my elementary school finest student always at the top of my class > there is this girl who was my only competitor > she got better grades than me 19 KB JPG leaving me in the second place > dad hears about it abd beats the s--- out of me > my back still has burn marks since he used hot glowing skewers and put them on my back > managed to get better grades than her for the rest of Elementary > still remember what she did to me > fast forward to high school > see her talking to a dude > took photos of it and sent it to hwr super conservative muslim dad > he forced her out of school and she never finished her studies Guess who had the last laughs bitch
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)07:33:11 No.66408053 > be me > 3th world muslim s------- > my elementary school finest student always at the top of my class > there is this girl who was my only competitor > she got better grades than me 19 KB JPG leaving me in the second place > dad hears about it abd beats the s--- out of me > my back still has burn marks since he used hot glowing skewers and put them on my back > managed to get better grades than her for the rest of Elementary > still remember what she did to me > fast forward to high school > see her talking to a dude > took photos of it and sent it to hwr super conservative muslim dad > he forced her out of school and she never finished her studies Guess who had the last laughs bitch

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Anon Reveals The Truth | /r/Greentext

File: Helium.jpg (43 KB, 576x768) Helium shortage Anonymous (ID: VYHZRH00 12/03/21(Fri)14:01:48 No.350604709 ► You f------ retards You keep arguing about fossil fuels No one should be worried about that since once we run out we'll atleast have alternative energy sources You know what I'm worried about? When we eventually run out of Helium You know what Helium is used for? It's not just balloons >It's used for respiratory treatment >MRI magnets >The fiber optic cables we use for the internet >computer chips and hard drives >shielding and welding >Microscopes >lt cleans rockets and fuel tanks to make sure they don't f------ combust We only have 117 years worth of Helium, and that's assuming our population doesn't increase and that we continue to use it at our current rate. Get voidpilled, absolutely f------ blackholepilled
File: Helium.jpg (43 KB, 576x768) Helium shortage Anonymous (ID: VYHZRH00 12/03/21(Fri)14:01:48 No.350604709 ► You f------ retards You keep arguing about fossil fuels No one should be worried about that since once we run out we'll atleast have alternative energy sources You know what I'm worried about? When we eventually run out of Helium You know what Helium is used for? It's not just balloons >It's used for respiratory treatment >MRI magnets >The fiber optic cables we use for the internet >computer chips and hard drives >shielding and welding >Microscopes >lt cleans rockets and fuel tanks to make sure they don't f------ combust We only have 117 years worth of Helium, and that's assuming our population doesn't increase and that we continue to use it at our current rate. Get voidpilled, absolutely f------ blackholepilled

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Anon can’t find diet ice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)12:16:03 No.867901951 >>867900400 (OP) # >be assistant manager at gas station >karen comes in for a cup of ice forty keks >straight face asks me where the diet 162 KB PNG ice is >brain just blue screened hearing that sentence >She said we had it a few months ago >I asked her if she meant crushed ice, and showed her which tab it was >She starts karen-raging about how I'm dumb for not knowing what diet ice >She leaves >tell my manager this funny story >manager tells me that a competitor gas station up the road put up a sign for diet ice for April fool's day this year >mfw this Karen fell for an April fools joke that hard
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)12:16:03 No.867901951 >>867900400 (OP) # >be assistant manager at gas station >karen comes in for a cup of ice forty keks >straight face asks me where the diet 162 KB PNG ice is >brain just blue screened hearing that sentence >She said we had it a few months ago >I asked her if she meant crushed ice, and showed her which tab it was >She starts karen-raging about how I'm dumb for not knowing what diet ice >She leaves >tell my manager this funny story >manager tells me that a competitor gas station up the road put up a sign for diet ice for April fool's day this year >mfw this Karen fell for an April fools joke that hard

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Anon talks with his dad | /r/Greentext

> be me > having breakfast with dad > he's looking at something on his phone > "hey anon, whats 'MFW'?" > tell him > ask him where he heard that feels good man 206 KB PNG > "oh, i'm just looking at this image on r/greentext" > bond with dad over greentexts >i love you dad
> be me > having breakfast with dad > he's looking at something on his phone > "hey anon, whats 'MFW'?" > tell him > ask him where he heard that feels good man 206 KB PNG > "oh, i'm just looking at this image on r/greentext" > bond with dad over greentexts >i love you dad

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Anon's hole survives for now. | /r/Greentext

! Anonymous I cant date 12/03/21(Fri)1 1:58:56 No.66405625 >21 and never had a gf before > girl at work gets along with me really well >asks about my past relationships >tell her I never had one >she laughs and tells me she dont believe it 134 KB JPG >l say that I oam serious >she stops laughing >"anon you are tall and handsome. Are you maybe a player?" >autismkicks.png >get mad at her >call her a c--- >she stops talking to me >avoids me at work now This is why I dont try to date anymore. My past or my lack of a past is the ultimate dealbreaker. When girls hear that you never been in a relationship. They think that you are either a player or a f------ psychopath
! Anonymous I cant date 12/03/21(Fri)1 1:58:56 No.66405625 >21 and never had a gf before > girl at work gets along with me really well >asks about my past relationships >tell her I never had one >she laughs and tells me she dont believe it 134 KB JPG >l say that I oam serious >she stops laughing >"anon you are tall and handsome. Are you maybe a player?" >autismkicks.png >get mad at her >call her a c--- >she stops talking to me >avoids me at work now This is why I dont try to date anymore. My past or my lack of a past is the ultimate dealbreaker. When girls hear that you never been in a relationship. They think that you are either a player or a f------ psychopath

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Anon gets a promotion | /r/Greentext

>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy
>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy

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Anon wants to talk about politics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >I wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?
: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >I wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?

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10 Seconds to be as millennial as possible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #
: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

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Anon meets a Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i will t each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. My king My liege WE WILL MAKE IT!
: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind 11 KB JPG computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >0-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i will t each you deadlifts" Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. My king My liege WE WILL MAKE IT!

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anon is hydrated | /r/Greentext

File: 807. jpg (61 KB, 588x391) Anonymous 11/23/18(Fri)18:10:47 No.785627996 [Reply] >785633003 >>785628405 >>785628581 >>785629666 SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP
File: 807. jpg (61 KB, 588x391) Anonymous 11/23/18(Fri)18:10:47 No.785627996 [Reply] >785633003 >>785628405 >>785628581 >>785629666 SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP

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Anon is Gordon Ramsay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)11:09:58 No.159056288 Gordon-Ramsay-e1628094451895.jpg| 1.07 MB JPG >arrives >deletes half of your menu >refuses to elaborate further >leaves
: Anonymous 11/12/21(Fri)11:09:58 No.159056288 Gordon-Ramsay-e1628094451895.jpg| 1.07 MB JPG >arrives >deletes half of your menu >refuses to elaborate further >leaves

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Anon gives 1 star | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:53:58 No.851359630 >Be me >order food from DoorDash >says it will take 20 minutes >hard af >it's been 2 hours w-- >look outside to see trail of blood and a 597 KB JPG collapsed body >look down street and see horrific car crash >driver crashed and in his final moments brought me my food >rate him 1 star for being late and leaving his trash body in my driveway
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:53:58 No.851359630 >Be me >order food from DoorDash >says it will take 20 minutes >hard af >it's been 2 hours w-- >look outside to see trail of blood and a 597 KB JPG collapsed body >look down street and see horrific car crash >driver crashed and in his final moments brought me my food >rate him 1 star for being late and leaving his trash body in my driveway

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how do u do

: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)12:09:43 No.863206200 I am a wage cuck >Be me wage cuck >Wake up 6am >Eat breakfast >Drink coffee >Take a s--- 890 KB GIF >Leave by 7am >Wage f kin start time 7:30am >Don't wanna be late >Wage slave until 5pm >Get home around 6pm >Eat my dinner >Take a shower >Play some Vidya or other hobby >Bed by 9pm >Repeat 5 days a week >Friday nights usually get drunk >Saturday is free of wage cuckery >This is a good day >Sunday I am free until about 4pm >After 4pm I begin cooking my dinner for the week >Make my breakfasts >Gotta save time anywhere I can >Do my chores >Bed by 9pm >Make just enough to pay bills and save a little >Repeat until dead I guess This is my life I get one day a week to myself not influenced by my wage slave job. I guess it's better than being homeless, s' s depressing.
: Anonymous 09/16/21(Thu)12:09:43 No.863206200 I am a wage cuck >Be me wage cuck >Wake up 6am >Eat breakfast >Drink coffee >Take a s--- 890 KB GIF >Leave by 7am >Wage f kin start time 7:30am >Don't wanna be late >Wage slave until 5pm >Get home around 6pm >Eat my dinner >Take a shower >Play some Vidya or other hobby >Bed by 9pm >Repeat 5 days a week >Friday nights usually get drunk >Saturday is free of wage cuckery >This is a good day >Sunday I am free until about 4pm >After 4pm I begin cooking my dinner for the week >Make my breakfasts >Gotta save time anywhere I can >Do my chores >Bed by 9pm >Make just enough to pay bills and save a little >Repeat until dead I guess This is my life I get one day a week to myself not influenced by my wage slave job. I guess it's better than being homeless, s' s depressing.

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Anon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

Melissa And yeah I do think you're real cute and real sweet too hahaa Aww bit taller it's just that, I prefer guys that are a But not meaning I won't want to hangout!! Meannn we're like the same height haha ik but yknow , you're 23 and I'm 12!I might be taller than U soon ahaha But it dont matter anyways okay? Aww I'm sorrry it's not bad or anything Youre still super sweet and you have a real nice body cause U workout ! thanks I guess don't be like thatttt I isten how about we hangout again and we JAnonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:54:51 No.867825522 Why the f--- are all girls like this /b/?? I'm a super manlet, I'm only 5'2" and it's affected nearly everything on my life. Will I ever find someone that will like me for me and not care about height? Yes she is a bit younger than me but even older women have the same attitude. Any other manlet bros here that can give me advice? > Also inb4 b& or v& because she's just a friend but still she's a girl and they have similar mindsets O Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:57:08 No.867825589 File: Pls (1).jpg (272 KB, 1057x1053) >shes 12 Anon, please kill yourself ...
Melissa And yeah I do think you're real cute and real sweet too hahaa Aww bit taller it's just that, I prefer guys that are a But not meaning I won't want to hangout!! Meannn we're like the same height haha ik but yknow , you're 23 and I'm 12!I might be taller than U soon ahaha But it dont matter anyways okay? Aww I'm sorrry it's not bad or anything Youre still super sweet and you have a real nice body cause U workout ! thanks I guess don't be like thatttt I isten how about we hangout again and we JAnonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:54:51 No.867825522 Why the f--- are all girls like this /b/?? I'm a super manlet, I'm only 5'2" and it's affected nearly everything on my life. Will I ever find someone that will like me for me and not care about height? Yes she is a bit younger than me but even older women have the same attitude. Any other manlet bros here that can give me advice? > Also inb4 b& or v& because she's just a friend but still she's a girl and they have similar mindsets O Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:57:08 No.867825589 File: Pls (1).jpg (272 KB, 1057x1053) >shes 12 Anon, please kill yourself ...

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Anon self-medicates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/20(Sun)21:47:13 No.838633423 >be me >have severe constipation >go to store >lick every surface people have been touching >get the flu >get diarrhea >constipation gone 175 KB PNG
: Anonymous 10/25/20(Sun)21:47:13 No.838633423 >be me >have severe constipation >go to store >lick every surface people have been touching >get the flu >get diarrhea >constipation gone 175 KB PNG

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Anon rigs the economy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: egPLaWtA 02/04/21(Thu)01:57:08 No.27695254 >be elon >Buy a s--- ton of dogecoin >Say that 100 dogecoin is now worth a Tesla >Dogecoin jump to at least 600 a share cuz it's now backed by a tesla >Elon sells off all dogecoin, still turns a 57 KB JPG massive profit despite giving away some cars Tell Me one reason why this wouldn't work?
: Anonymous (ID: egPLaWtA 02/04/21(Thu)01:57:08 No.27695254 >be elon >Buy a s--- ton of dogecoin >Say that 100 dogecoin is now worth a Tesla >Dogecoin jump to at least 600 a share cuz it's now backed by a tesla >Elon sells off all dogecoin, still turns a 57 KB JPG massive profit despite giving away some cars Tell Me one reason why this wouldn't work?

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Anon reminisces | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)16:23:22 No.62555204 >>62553781 (OP) # >late 90's >10 >would finish school on a friday >eat dinner and then turn on my 496 KB PNG N64 >play Mario Kart, Mario 64, Goldeneye etc >bed time at 11:00 >would get into bed >pretend to fall asleep >wait until my mother went to sleep >boot up my N64 again >play all night I'd love to go back to being that carefree. Just once.
: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)16:23:22 No.62555204 >>62553781 (OP) # >late 90's >10 >would finish school on a friday >eat dinner and then turn on my 496 KB PNG N64 >play Mario Kart, Mario 64, Goldeneye etc >bed time at 11:00 >would get into bed >pretend to fall asleep >wait until my mother went to sleep >boot up my N64 again >play all night I'd love to go back to being that carefree. Just once.

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Mistakes were made | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/19(Sat)06:39:11 No.51238294 >going to school >realise i forgot my bag >conclude the only explenation is that im in a dream >go into school bathroom and r--- a girl >dont wake up 63 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/02/19(Sat)06:39:11 No.51238294 >going to school >realise i forgot my bag >conclude the only explenation is that im in a dream >go into school bathroom and r--- a girl >dont wake up 63 KB JPG

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Anon is from the future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymouse (ID: PTHXrgTY ) 12/02/21(Thu)19:55:41 No.350509369 >>350507410 (OP) # >>be me 2027 >>decide to play the new battlefield 1944 >>no scoreboard >>all player characters are LGBT >>all player characters colored, gender non binary, trans furkins >>all chat is monitored by a team led by Anita Sarkeasian >>Only white men in the game are the axis NAZI's >>you can't play as the nazi's >>you can't pick up nazi weapons without first playing "combating white racism" hour long seminar, and buying the shitlord DLC for 29.99 This actually seems fairly plausible to me imho
: Anonymouse (ID: PTHXrgTY ) 12/02/21(Thu)19:55:41 No.350509369 >>350507410 (OP) # >>be me 2027 >>decide to play the new battlefield 1944 >>no scoreboard >>all player characters are LGBT >>all player characters colored, gender non binary, trans furkins >>all chat is monitored by a team led by Anita Sarkeasian >>Only white men in the game are the axis NAZI's >>you can't play as the nazi's >>you can't pick up nazi weapons without first playing "combating white racism" hour long seminar, and buying the shitlord DLC for 29.99 This actually seems fairly plausible to me imho

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