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Anon makes a thread | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/21(Sun)14:07:35 No.144892714 >Encounters gods all the time >ls atheist 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/10/21(Sun)14:09:11 No.144892749 >OP posts >is f-----
: Anonymous 01/10/21(Sun)14:07:35 No.144892714 >Encounters gods all the time >ls atheist 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/10/21(Sun)14:09:11 No.144892749 >OP posts >is f-----

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Anon gets a taste of his own medicine! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the swIPE TO NEXT> normiest site 136 KB JPG
: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the swIPE TO NEXT> normiest site 136 KB JPG

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Anon hates apple | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right 89 KB PNG now. >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos
: Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right 89 KB PNG now. >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos

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Anon hates Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:24:41 No.159020639 >no personality >no charisma >no good looks >no skills >doesn't improve >doesn't grow as a person >revolves around being the "chosen one" 250 KB JPG >is constatly jobbed and bossed around and he happily obliges harry is the lamest protag ever conceived : Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:26:32 No.159020681 >becomes a cop Sounds about right
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:24:41 No.159020639 >no personality >no charisma >no good looks >no skills >doesn't improve >doesn't grow as a person >revolves around being the "chosen one" 250 KB JPG >is constatly jobbed and bossed around and he happily obliges harry is the lamest protag ever conceived : Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:26:32 No.159020681 >becomes a cop Sounds about right

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Anon is harassed in public | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)05:06:17 No.65843364 >be me >walking around with loose change >pockets full of coin >hapilly stroling wen >egads >trip on the sidewalk >flop face first to it Todo lo que no se reproduce no es de Dios 82 KB JPG >all my loose change comes out of my pockets >guy comes in >"you okay there sonic?" >fml
: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)05:06:17 No.65843364 >be me >walking around with loose change >pockets full of coin >hapilly stroling wen >egads >trip on the sidewalk >flop face first to it Todo lo que no se reproduce no es de Dios 82 KB JPG >all my loose change comes out of my pockets >guy comes in >"you okay there sonic?" >fml

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Most Beautiful Greentext Ever Conceived. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what Il be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv. >feels bad man >dont think much other of it though -go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png >10/10 girl asks ifi would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife
O Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what Il be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv. >feels bad man >dont think much other of it though -go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png >10/10 girl asks ifi would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife

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Anon digs a fish pond | /r/Greentext

>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me
>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me

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Anon loves his cousin | /r/Greentext

1CaPOfm 2 minutes ago No.560860141 >be me >be 15 >go to cousins for sleep over >have 3 cousins >2 guys 1 girl >stay up late >play vidya watch movies >girl cousin says uncle has lots of extra beer >he wont notice a few missing >coool Swe get buzzed >younger guy cousin doesnt like beer goes to bed >other guy cousin gets phone call from qt3.14 and splits for a while >just me and girl cousin >drink 3-4 more while watching movie >cousin starts saying shes drunk >10 minutes later look over and shes crashed out >find a blanket and cover her up >go to bed without molesting cousin because we have a stable family relationship and im not attracted to her
1CaPOfm 2 minutes ago No.560860141 >be me >be 15 >go to cousins for sleep over >have 3 cousins >2 guys 1 girl >stay up late >play vidya watch movies >girl cousin says uncle has lots of extra beer >he wont notice a few missing >coool Swe get buzzed >younger guy cousin doesnt like beer goes to bed >other guy cousin gets phone call from qt3.14 and splits for a while >just me and girl cousin >drink 3-4 more while watching movie >cousin starts saying shes drunk >10 minutes later look over and shes crashed out >find a blanket and cover her up >go to bed without molesting cousin because we have a stable family relationship and im not attracted to her

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Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon goes to brit pub | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZE+omJEM 12/04/21(Sat)06:18:41 No.13972360 >Go to Britain >Visit a pub >Order some French fries with my beer >Weird and toothy looking bartender (pubtender?) goes 86 KB JPG ballistic >OI THEY IS CALLED CHIPS THEY IS! MADE FROM THE FINEST POTATOES IN ALL THE QUEEN'S LAND THEY IS SHOW THEM THE PROPER RESPECT >Sorry bro I meant chips >bartender turns to a portrait of the queen hanging above the bar >OI YOUR MAJESTY HE'S SORRY HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING The fries weren't very good and I have a feeling they were not actually made from the finest potatoes in the commonwealth 5 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: ZE+omJEM 12/04/21(Sat)06:18:41 No.13972360 >Go to Britain >Visit a pub >Order some French fries with my beer >Weird and toothy looking bartender (pubtender?) goes 86 KB JPG ballistic >OI THEY IS CALLED CHIPS THEY IS! MADE FROM THE FINEST POTATOES IN ALL THE QUEEN'S LAND THEY IS SHOW THEM THE PROPER RESPECT >Sorry bro I meant chips >bartender turns to a portrait of the queen hanging above the bar >OI YOUR MAJESTY HE'S SORRY HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING The fries weren't very good and I have a feeling they were not actually made from the finest potatoes in the commonwealth 5 Replies View Thread

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OP ain't gonna let em get them | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 17 minutes ago 790233664 : C'mon anons, let us share the stories of losing virginities. I'll start. >l didn't 3 REPLIES
Anonymous 17 minutes ago 790233664 : C'mon anons, let us share the stories of losing virginities. I'll start. >l didn't 3 REPLIES

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Sims 4 thiss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)03:39:49 No.47726805 >play Sims 4 >Model character after self >Put all stats into charisma and romantic >go to local bar >flirt with girl for a couple in game days 23 KB JPG >See woohoo option >She says yes See ya later virgins
: Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)03:39:49 No.47726805 >play Sims 4 >Model character after self >Put all stats into charisma and romantic >go to local bar >flirt with girl for a couple in game days 23 KB JPG >See woohoo option >She says yes See ya later virgins

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Australians are trolls | /r/Greentext

12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down
12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down

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Alienanon is a fucking idiot | /r/Greentext

1487814942468.jpg (11 KB, 247x327) google yandex igdb wait Anonymous (ID: 69LMHPIK) 02/22/17(Wed)19:53:55 No.113899337 >>113900328 >>113900346 >>113900361 >>113900362 >>113900564 >>113900 >>113902357 >>113902550 >>113903181 >>113903295 Be prepared. This is not a warning, this is a threat. We are coming. We will not be persuaded by your leaders or your people. You have been warned. 02/22/17(Wed)19:54:36 No.113899432 02/22/17(Wed)20:15:05 No.113902240 Anonymous (ID: EBF2YQ/3 Anonymous (ID: 4qAUTGgi) 22113899432 aliens confirmed retarded >>113899337 (OP) >this is not a warning >you have been warned
1487814942468.jpg (11 KB, 247x327) google yandex igdb wait Anonymous (ID: 69LMHPIK) 02/22/17(Wed)19:53:55 No.113899337 >>113900328 >>113900346 >>113900361 >>113900362 >>113900564 >>113900 >>113902357 >>113902550 >>113903181 >>113903295 Be prepared. This is not a warning, this is a threat. We are coming. We will not be persuaded by your leaders or your people. You have been warned. 02/22/17(Wed)19:54:36 No.113899432 02/22/17(Wed)20:15:05 No.113902240 Anonymous (ID: EBF2YQ/3 Anonymous (ID: 4qAUTGgi) 22113899432 aliens confirmed retarded >>113899337 (OP) >this is not a warning >you have been warned

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An interesting title #1 | /r/Greentext

File: africa.ipg (9 KB, 480x453) O map dude 02/15/18(Thu)15:56:46 No.43232628 I'm back again boys draw on the map where niger is O Anonymous 02/15/18(Thu)15:57:33 No.43232637 Paint bucket tool.
File: africa.ipg (9 KB, 480x453) O map dude 02/15/18(Thu)15:56:46 No.43232628 I'm back again boys draw on the map where niger is O Anonymous 02/15/18(Thu)15:57:33 No.43232637 Paint bucket tool.

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Red rocket | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)17:37:54 No.867982550 >gf floated the idea of having sex while she's on her period >try to brush it off quickly >she keeps bringing it back up What do /b/? 15 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)17:39:32 No.867982654 Just do it you p----.
: Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)17:37:54 No.867982550 >gf floated the idea of having sex while she's on her period >try to brush it off quickly >she keeps bringing it back up What do /b/? 15 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)17:39:32 No.867982654 Just do it you p----.

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Anon will never recover | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)13:28 >Be me >teach grandma what cringe means >fast forward months later >I show her the meme I made >She calls it cringe
Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)13:28 >Be me >teach grandma what cringe means >fast forward months later >I show her the meme I made >She calls it cringe

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Anon listens to music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)19:15:11 No.60568893 >listening to rap >it's all bitches and money >switch to metal >it's all christian themes 12 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)19:15:11 No.60568893 >listening to rap >it's all bitches and money >switch to metal >it's all christian themes 12 KB JPG

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Anon is a security guard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:07:31 No.785261856 >Be me >Security guard at airport >Fml every day same s--- >Consider suicide at least twice a shift >One day see hottie with a great ass and green 1.41 MB PNG leggings >She's walking a bit funny Suspicion.zip >Run metal detector on her while trying to cop a cheeky feel >Oh s--- detector went off >Oh s--- she looks nervous best investigate >Oh s--- oh s--- oh s--- >mfw I just busted an international diamond smuggler
: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:07:31 No.785261856 >Be me >Security guard at airport >Fml every day same s--- >Consider suicide at least twice a shift >One day see hottie with a great ass and green 1.41 MB PNG leggings >She's walking a bit funny Suspicion.zip >Run metal detector on her while trying to cop a cheeky feel >Oh s--- detector went off >Oh s--- she looks nervous best investigate >Oh s--- oh s--- oh s--- >mfw I just busted an international diamond smuggler

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Anon lacks a good sense of humor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)23:13:46 No.868000131 >be me >autistic 6th grader >friend sends me edgy 9/11 meme where the Little Einstein theme song cuts to the first plane hitting the World Trade Center 239 KB JPG >thought it was funny enough to show my parents >mfw my parents knew people who died in 9/11 I was f------ retarded
: Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)23:13:46 No.868000131 >be me >autistic 6th grader >friend sends me edgy 9/11 meme where the Little Einstein theme song cuts to the first plane hitting the World Trade Center 239 KB JPG >thought it was funny enough to show my parents >mfw my parents knew people who died in 9/11 I was f------ retarded

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