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Anon explains sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)00:10:08 No.66454307 File: 1638693139679.jpg (100 KB, 812x1024) >be me, spergy weird kid, in 1st grade, talking to some older girls I read books with >one of them mentions sex and they all giggle and I'm like "What?" and they make fun of me for not knowing what sex is >tell her I know how sex works >she's horrified and bemused and like, "Oh yeah?" >explain that human cells have a whole copy of a person's DNÁ, and that males have special cells called sperm and women have special cells called eggs, and those are called gametes or sex cells, and those cells only have half a copy of a person's DNA, and sex is when a mommy and a daddy combine their gametes into a fertilized egg which is a single cell with a whole set of genetic instructions made from the two sex cells, and that cell divides multiplies to make a whole baby >she tells me I'm wrong and that sex is when a boy sticks his penis in your vagina >l tell her she's retarded and we get into an argument over this where she brings up dating and boyfriends and making out and I'm trying to explain what inheritance and dominant and recessive traits are >go back to class fuming and genuinely thinking this bitch is a f------ idiot
Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)00:10:08 No.66454307 File: 1638693139679.jpg (100 KB, 812x1024) >be me, spergy weird kid, in 1st grade, talking to some older girls I read books with >one of them mentions sex and they all giggle and I'm like "What?" and they make fun of me for not knowing what sex is >tell her I know how sex works >she's horrified and bemused and like, "Oh yeah?" >explain that human cells have a whole copy of a person's DNÁ, and that males have special cells called sperm and women have special cells called eggs, and those are called gametes or sex cells, and those cells only have half a copy of a person's DNA, and sex is when a mommy and a daddy combine their gametes into a fertilized egg which is a single cell with a whole set of genetic instructions made from the two sex cells, and that cell divides multiplies to make a whole baby >she tells me I'm wrong and that sex is when a boy sticks his penis in your vagina >l tell her she's retarded and we get into an argument over this where she brings up dating and boyfriends and making out and I'm trying to explain what inheritance and dominant and recessive traits are >go back to class fuming and genuinely thinking this bitch is a f------ idiot

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Anon is a scientist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)01:16:58 No.866297310 So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behavior. For example, if you eat it is likely that you will swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, 41 KB JPG the matrix would have to shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that becuase that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why I am writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging s--- again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)01:16:58 No.866297310 So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behavior. For example, if you eat it is likely that you will swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, 41 KB JPG the matrix would have to shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that becuase that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why I am writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging s--- again and I am not sure how to respond to that.

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Anon is not the bad guy here | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (21 KB, 251x201) Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:23:11 No.47829822 >>47829862 >>47829884 >>47829907 >>47829939 >>47829951 >>47829956 >>47829960 >>47830118 >>47830125 >>47830163 >>47830168 >>47830182 >>47830452 >>47830501 >>47830536 >>47830601 >>47830697 >>47830737 >>47830847 >>47830857 >>47831328 >>47832066 >>47832229 >>47832302 >>47832353 >>47832354 >>47832513 >>47832696 >>47833199 >>47833530 >>47833818 >>47833850 >>47834179 >>47834587 >>47834632 >female coworker makes a joke at my expense about something I can't control (being bald) >l make a joke back about something she can control (being fat) >she goes home early and everybody is mad at me How was I the bad guy here? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:56:06 No.47830163 >>47830238 >>47829822 (OP) # What was her joke? And what did you answer? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)10:06:34 No.47830238 >>47830163 # >broke up with gf a few weeks ago (I ended it) >coworkers were talking about their exes (working with women is Hell) >>Anon, why don't you ever talk s--- about your ex? Didn't she break up with you because you were bald ha ha? >Ha ha, good one. Didn't you have a miscarriage because you're so fat?
File: file.png (21 KB, 251x201) Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:23:11 No.47829822 >>47829862 >>47829884 >>47829907 >>47829939 >>47829951 >>47829956 >>47829960 >>47830118 >>47830125 >>47830163 >>47830168 >>47830182 >>47830452 >>47830501 >>47830536 >>47830601 >>47830697 >>47830737 >>47830847 >>47830857 >>47831328 >>47832066 >>47832229 >>47832302 >>47832353 >>47832354 >>47832513 >>47832696 >>47833199 >>47833530 >>47833818 >>47833850 >>47834179 >>47834587 >>47834632 >female coworker makes a joke at my expense about something I can't control (being bald) >l make a joke back about something she can control (being fat) >she goes home early and everybody is mad at me How was I the bad guy here? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:56:06 No.47830163 >>47830238 >>47829822 (OP) # What was her joke? And what did you answer? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)10:06:34 No.47830238 >>47830163 # >broke up with gf a few weeks ago (I ended it) >coworkers were talking about their exes (working with women is Hell) >>Anon, why don't you ever talk s--- about your ex? Didn't she break up with you because you were bald ha ha? >Ha ha, good one. Didn't you have a miscarriage because you're so fat?

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anon questions life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)14:08:39 No.66454598 >am not happy where I am in life >but every option available to me at the moment in life requires barely rewarding excruciating mental suffering f--- 9 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)14:10:07 No.66454622 i know that feel >want domme gf >not into p------
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)14:08:39 No.66454598 >am not happy where I am in life >but every option available to me at the moment in life requires barely rewarding excruciating mental suffering f--- 9 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)14:10:07 No.66454622 i know that feel >want domme gf >not into p------

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Catoregime | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)03:50:56 No.64633456 >go to lift in my home gym >my kitty always sits in front of my bench and watches while I lift 290 KB PNG 27 Replies / 9 Images View Thread : Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)09:01:48 No.64635508 : Anonymous 12/06/21 (Mon)09:04:20 No.64635527 Oh we're posting kitties? This is my big boy. His name is Tony 2.89 MB JPG
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)03:50:56 No.64633456 >go to lift in my home gym >my kitty always sits in front of my bench and watches while I lift 290 KB PNG 27 Replies / 9 Images View Thread : Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)09:01:48 No.64635508 : Anonymous 12/06/21 (Mon)09:04:20 No.64635527 Oh we're posting kitties? This is my big boy. His name is Tony 2.89 MB JPG

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Anon plays Skyrim | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)14:56:41 No.580557937 >be me >become bored >spend entire weekend downloading Skyrim and installing mods in the proper order 484 KB JPG >start playing >spend 10 more hours troubleshooting issues >can actually play now >playing the game just going through the motions, not really having fun >stop playing after meeting the Jarl in Whiterun >repeat next year
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)14:56:41 No.580557937 >be me >become bored >spend entire weekend downloading Skyrim and installing mods in the proper order 484 KB JPG >start playing >spend 10 more hours troubleshooting issues >can actually play now >playing the game just going through the motions, not really having fun >stop playing after meeting the Jarl in Whiterun >repeat next year

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Irrevenant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21 (Mon)09:08:52 No.66451677 >online learning due to lockdown >supposed to listen to this bald effeminate c--- on my screen ramble about his psych garbage for half the day >switch between vidya and jerking 129 KB JPG off instead >did both now and still half the lecture left any other robots know this feel? f--- man where did we go wrong i should get a visa to alaska and become a fisherman instead of this horseshit
: Anonymous 12/06/21 (Mon)09:08:52 No.66451677 >online learning due to lockdown >supposed to listen to this bald effeminate c--- on my screen ramble about his psych garbage for half the day >switch between vidya and jerking 129 KB JPG off instead >did both now and still half the lecture left any other robots know this feel? f--- man where did we go wrong i should get a visa to alaska and become a fisherman instead of this horseshit

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Anon plays silent hill | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat)19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196 jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD" >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room
Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat)19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196 jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD" >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room

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Anon found his way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Fairy Tail saved my life 12/06/21(Mon)17:37:42 No.231424086 > be me > like 11 > think sex is done via a--- > develop a--- fetish > friends talked about a test to see if youre gay by watching gay p--- > do it > mfw i jerk of to it cuz it involves a--- 196 KB JPG > im dissapointed in myself cuz my mom is a homophobe and so am i > years pass by jerk of to gay p--- every few month > always tell myself ill stop next year. never happens > i watch fairy tail and become a huge fan > About to j------- to gay p---. > Think about how Natsu and the others wouldnt want me to bust a nut to some f--- > mfw i feel like im part of the guild > mfw i tell myself that ill never j------- to gay p--- for fairy tail >mfw when i havent jerked off to gay since 2 years now. Fairy Tail is a blessing and im still a huge homophobe thanks to Natsu and the others. i j------- to Lucy everyday.
: Anonymous Fairy Tail saved my life 12/06/21(Mon)17:37:42 No.231424086 > be me > like 11 > think sex is done via a--- > develop a--- fetish > friends talked about a test to see if youre gay by watching gay p--- > do it > mfw i jerk of to it cuz it involves a--- 196 KB JPG > im dissapointed in myself cuz my mom is a homophobe and so am i > years pass by jerk of to gay p--- every few month > always tell myself ill stop next year. never happens > i watch fairy tail and become a huge fan > About to j------- to gay p---. > Think about how Natsu and the others wouldnt want me to bust a nut to some f--- > mfw i feel like im part of the guild > mfw i tell myself that ill never j------- to gay p--- for fairy tail >mfw when i havent jerked off to gay since 2 years now. Fairy Tail is a blessing and im still a huge homophobe thanks to Natsu and the others. i j------- to Lucy everyday.

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Anon is happy with Minecraft. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/20(Fri)18:05:43 No.61220918 UPDATE >be me >be friendless loser >complain on 4chan about my loser Minecraft world >people join >feelsgoodman 80 KB JPG thanks guys
: Anonymous 12/04/20(Fri)18:05:43 No.61220918 UPDATE >be me >be friendless loser >complain on 4chan about my loser Minecraft world >people join >feelsgoodman 80 KB JPG thanks guys

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Anon develops a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/20(Fri)12:47:58 No.56308909 >gf admitted she had a foot fetish a few months ago and gets turned on by me worshipping her feet >had always made fun of foot fetishists, it never once turned me on 114 KB JPG >indulge her at the time because why not, doesn't hurt me >fast forward 2 months >get instant boners when she takes her socks off and puts her feet in my lap now What have I become
: Anonymous 01/17/20(Fri)12:47:58 No.56308909 >gf admitted she had a foot fetish a few months ago and gets turned on by me worshipping her feet >had always made fun of foot fetishists, it never once turned me on 114 KB JPG >indulge her at the time because why not, doesn't hurt me >fast forward 2 months >get instant boners when she takes her socks off and puts her feet in my lap now What have I become

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anon is sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/24/18(Mon)18:48:45 No.50025644 >you will never go hang out at her house and have fun >you will never watch movies together and put your arm around her >you will never lay down and cuddle with her 71 KB JPG >you will never go driving around town with her >you will never go hopping between stores with her >you will never take pictures together with her >you will never sit down and drink coffee with her, alone, talking about life >you will never watch the sunset with her >you will never be asked if you're dating her >you will never date her >you will never hug her >you will never kiss her >but he will
: Anonymous 12/24/18(Mon)18:48:45 No.50025644 >you will never go hang out at her house and have fun >you will never watch movies together and put your arm around her >you will never lay down and cuddle with her 71 KB JPG >you will never go driving around town with her >you will never go hopping between stores with her >you will never take pictures together with her >you will never sit down and drink coffee with her, alone, talking about life >you will never watch the sunset with her >you will never be asked if you're dating her >you will never date her >you will never hug her >you will never kiss her >but he will

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Sweet home Alabama | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)00:36:26 No.64940038 >f--- my sister >tell her it was a mistake, we shouldn't do it again >f--- my sister again >tell her we really need to stop >want her like a drug >f--- her again 66 KB JPG I feel like I could drop dead at any moment knowing what I'm doing gives me so much anxiety but I can't stop
: Anonymous 08/12/21(Thu)00:36:26 No.64940038 >f--- my sister >tell her it was a mistake, we shouldn't do it again >f--- my sister again >tell her we really need to stop >want her like a drug >f--- her again 66 KB JPG I feel like I could drop dead at any moment knowing what I'm doing gives me so much anxiety but I can't stop

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Hasta la pasta | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/21 (Sat)23:28:03 No.66431989 >Be NEET until 24 >Decide to turn it all around >Do degree in accounting, graduate with High distinction >Lose all my weight >be 28, degree finished; qt3.14 Italian girl at the cafe is crushing on me hard 309 KB PNG >starting as an auditor next year with a clear pathway to six figures in 3 years. Literally all my past failures don't bother me. I've made it. I want you to know this is my last time here, I've been using 4chan over a decade; I've finally ascended. Anyone got anything to discuss before I bounce?
: Anonymous 12/04/21 (Sat)23:28:03 No.66431989 >Be NEET until 24 >Decide to turn it all around >Do degree in accounting, graduate with High distinction >Lose all my weight >be 28, degree finished; qt3.14 Italian girl at the cafe is crushing on me hard 309 KB PNG >starting as an auditor next year with a clear pathway to six figures in 3 years. Literally all my past failures don't bother me. I've made it. I want you to know this is my last time here, I've been using 4chan over a decade; I've finally ascended. Anyone got anything to discuss before I bounce?

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Anon goes job hunting | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)10:00:32 No.868014597 ► >applying to job >"we do not discriminate based on race, ethnicity, or gender." >close application
O Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)10:00:32 No.868014597 ► >applying to job >"we do not discriminate based on race, ethnicity, or gender." >close application

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anon has a phone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21 (Mon)06:34:56 No.66450505 >turn on phone for first time in 20 hours >its already warm after 1 minute 7 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 12/06/21 (Mon)06:34:56 No.66450505 >turn on phone for first time in 20 hours >its already warm after 1 minute 7 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread

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anon better not fuck it up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What did she mean by this? 12/05/21(Sun)20:21:08 No.66444392 >On first date with girl >Having a good time, talking and s--- >go out with her to eat >we finish eating and I go to pay >She accidently calls me "babe" in front | of the waitress 34 KB JPG Is she my girlfriend now?
: Anonymous What did she mean by this? 12/05/21(Sun)20:21:08 No.66444392 >On first date with girl >Having a good time, talking and s--- >go out with her to eat >we finish eating and I go to pay >She accidently calls me "babe" in front | of the waitress 34 KB JPG Is she my girlfriend now?

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anon does a bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)15:10:57 No.376877 ► >>376881 >>380301 >>405711 >>414562 >>423271 >>460587 File: crosshair example.png (20 KB, 618x356) >>376388 (OP) >set crosshair to a ridiculous size >just giant blocks of some obnoxious color filling up 90% of the screen >unable to see s--- >lurk and stay alive >remaining teammates are forced to spectate you >genuinely try your best to clutch the round I've found this more entertaining than general griefing.
U Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)15:10:57 No.376877 ► >>376881 >>380301 >>405711 >>414562 >>423271 >>460587 File: crosshair example.png (20 KB, 618x356) >>376388 (OP) >set crosshair to a ridiculous size >just giant blocks of some obnoxious color filling up 90% of the screen >unable to see s--- >lurk and stay alive >remaining teammates are forced to spectate you >genuinely try your best to clutch the round I've found this more entertaining than general griefing.

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Anon has a literal brony | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)23:59:33 No.160226379 >be me >12 year old kid with a brother 6 years older than me >brother goes to the living room with a hard drive >connects hard drive on tv 107 KB PNG >it's filled with a lot of episodes of 1 show >it's my little pony >brother ironically watches my little pony in the living room >ask him why he's doing this >"cultured and cool kids watch this. you wouldnt get it" >i really don't get it >ignore him as he watches >i go back to playing club penguin >brother sings and dances while watching like a retard >he seems to be really interested >he watches just like that for a few more days >he suddenly stops and doesn't talk about it ever again >strange but i dont really care >fast forward 8 years later >he has a kid now >i remember that my little pony weekend >ask brother about it >"bro u remember that one short time u got obsessed with watching my little pony" >"no anon shut the f--- up now i don't think that ever happened what the hell are you talking about that's dumb" >seems like he's hiding something >i dont ever ask him about it again since it seemed to bother him what the f--- could that be about
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)23:59:33 No.160226379 >be me >12 year old kid with a brother 6 years older than me >brother goes to the living room with a hard drive >connects hard drive on tv 107 KB PNG >it's filled with a lot of episodes of 1 show >it's my little pony >brother ironically watches my little pony in the living room >ask him why he's doing this >"cultured and cool kids watch this. you wouldnt get it" >i really don't get it >ignore him as he watches >i go back to playing club penguin >brother sings and dances while watching like a retard >he seems to be really interested >he watches just like that for a few more days >he suddenly stops and doesn't talk about it ever again >strange but i dont really care >fast forward 8 years later >he has a kid now >i remember that my little pony weekend >ask brother about it >"bro u remember that one short time u got obsessed with watching my little pony" >"no anon shut the f--- up now i don't think that ever happened what the hell are you talking about that's dumb" >seems like he's hiding something >i dont ever ask him about it again since it seemed to bother him what the f--- could that be about

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Anon has a good friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 >I take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every 195 KB PNG night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because l'Il be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >I think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"
: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 >I take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every 195 KB PNG night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because l'Il be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >I think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"

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