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Anon likes Kenny Loggins | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)07:52:54 No.868151373 KENNY LOGGINS ANGER 2ONE Drunk stories thread? I'll start. >be me >absolutely hammered >playing grand theft auto >be in party chat with four friends 76 KB PNG >listening to Los Santos Rock Radio >Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins comes on >lfuckinlovethissong.mp3 "Hey guys, Danger Zone is playing so I gotta mute the chat so I can hear it" >mute the chat and drunkenly sing along >best three and a half minutes of my life >10/10, would get drunk and listen to Kenny Loggins again
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)07:52:54 No.868151373 KENNY LOGGINS ANGER 2ONE Drunk stories thread? I'll start. >be me >absolutely hammered >playing grand theft auto >be in party chat with four friends 76 KB PNG >listening to Los Santos Rock Radio >Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins comes on >lfuckinlovethissong.mp3 "Hey guys, Danger Zone is playing so I gotta mute the chat so I can hear it" >mute the chat and drunkenly sing along >best three and a half minutes of my life >10/10, would get drunk and listen to Kenny Loggins again

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Anon engages in an operation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: BeHyxwFc ) EIA Operation Deadname 10/29/21(Fri)13:15:42 No.345276970 > Find troons on Facebook > Report them as having a "Fake Name" > Facebook will make them upload ID to prove who they are > Accounts are locked until they change their names from "Chloe" to "Kevin" OMeto > Can also be done with furries, hipsters, and any other groups of insufferable 152 KB PNG t---- Get on it while it is hot as FB will inevitably crack down on this fun, so keep the thread bumped, and send some insane men in thigh-highs into a meltdown
: Anonymous (ID: BeHyxwFc ) EIA Operation Deadname 10/29/21(Fri)13:15:42 No.345276970 > Find troons on Facebook > Report them as having a "Fake Name" > Facebook will make them upload ID to prove who they are > Accounts are locked until they change their names from "Chloe" to "Kevin" OMeto > Can also be done with furries, hipsters, and any other groups of insufferable 152 KB PNG t---- Get on it while it is hot as FB will inevitably crack down on this fun, so keep the thread bumped, and send some insane men in thigh-highs into a meltdown

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anon's at his limit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous You Just Need To! 12/06/21(Mon)15:10:54 No.66455282 >you just need to get into a pattern, anon >you just need to get up at regular hours, anon >you just need to eat at regular times, anon >you just need to eat a healthier, more balanced diet, anon 85 KB JPG >you just need to get some exercise, anon >you just need to get some goals, anon Why do people find it so hard to believe their own family members can have serious, debilitating physical and mental health issues. Im done, man, Im just gonna go kill myself, lol. They all know Im on the brink of it (not that I have directly threatened but its brutally obvious) and they just keep on with this s--- and pressuring and guilting me constantly. Part of me wonders whether deep down they just wish Id do it and get it over with. I remember my ex once telling my Mom she worried about her leaving me alone for the weekend while suicidal and chronically depressed, my Mom literally responded with: >Well, we tried. If he does it he does it LMFAO
: Anonymous You Just Need To! 12/06/21(Mon)15:10:54 No.66455282 >you just need to get into a pattern, anon >you just need to get up at regular hours, anon >you just need to eat at regular times, anon >you just need to eat a healthier, more balanced diet, anon 85 KB JPG >you just need to get some exercise, anon >you just need to get some goals, anon Why do people find it so hard to believe their own family members can have serious, debilitating physical and mental health issues. Im done, man, Im just gonna go kill myself, lol. They all know Im on the brink of it (not that I have directly threatened but its brutally obvious) and they just keep on with this s--- and pressuring and guilting me constantly. Part of me wonders whether deep down they just wish Id do it and get it over with. I remember my ex once telling my Mom she worried about her leaving me alone for the weekend while suicidal and chronically depressed, my Mom literally responded with: >Well, we tried. If he does it he does it LMFAO

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CHOOO CHOOO | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/27/13(Tue)15:30 No.22214994 Replies: >>22215025 >>22215036 >>22215053 >>22215058 >>22215360 >driving with friend >accidentally grab his leg instead of gearstick >we both laugh and I unzip his pants >park the car while fondling his balls >friend is laughing because he knows it's just a joke >start sucking his d--- on this empty parking lot >almost choke on his d--- because i'm laughing so hard >friend is also laughing his ass off >he starts making train noises while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB! CHOO CHOO" >he c--- and I swallow it all like some stupid f----- >kiss my friend and call him a f----- while laughing Gotta love playing pranks on my friends.
Anonymous 08/27/13(Tue)15:30 No.22214994 Replies: >>22215025 >>22215036 >>22215053 >>22215058 >>22215360 >driving with friend >accidentally grab his leg instead of gearstick >we both laugh and I unzip his pants >park the car while fondling his balls >friend is laughing because he knows it's just a joke >start sucking his d--- on this empty parking lot >almost choke on his d--- because i'm laughing so hard >friend is also laughing his ass off >he starts making train noises while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB! CHOO CHOO" >he c--- and I swallow it all like some stupid f----- >kiss my friend and call him a f----- while laughing Gotta love playing pranks on my friends.

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Anon post on reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:31:01 No.46671113 >be me >sad and depressed >mom comes over >she makes pancakes Thanks mom, i love you 7 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:33:39 No.46671147 >be me >loser working dead end job barely enough to pay rent >no friends, dont talk to co workers >depressed >mom comes over every week to cook several days worth of food and restock groceries >cleans my place >never asks for anything Reminder to love your mom.
: Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:31:01 No.46671113 >be me >sad and depressed >mom comes over >she makes pancakes Thanks mom, i love you 7 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:33:39 No.46671147 >be me >loser working dead end job barely enough to pay rent >no friends, dont talk to co workers >depressed >mom comes over every week to cook several days worth of food and restock groceries >cleans my place >never asks for anything Reminder to love your mom.

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Anon goes back to school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/20(Wed)17:24:31 No.58476115 >go back to school at 27 >thought all the zoomers were going to make fun of me >most of them are extremely cool >get invited to zoomer parties >dont go 101 KB PNG >zoomer girls pay more think im cool because im older and "have more experience" >l dont have any experience If you're a boomer, go back to school now, its an amazing experience
: Anonymous 06/03/20(Wed)17:24:31 No.58476115 >go back to school at 27 >thought all the zoomers were going to make fun of me >most of them are extremely cool >get invited to zoomer parties >dont go 101 KB PNG >zoomer girls pay more think im cool because im older and "have more experience" >l dont have any experience If you're a boomer, go back to school now, its an amazing experience

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anon in highschool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/21(Wed)13:39:26 No.61737841 > be me > in highschool > accidentally bump into girl in the hallway > she says "ew" > mfw this happens on multiple occasions > mfw they aren't even trying to be mean, its just a gut reaction > 54 KB JPG one girl was even very sweet and apologetic. She said she was sorry and it just slipped out. i said it was fine and i continued my way to class. what henious crimes must i have committed in a past life to deserve this? is this punishment for prior sins?
: Anonymous 01/06/21(Wed)13:39:26 No.61737841 > be me > in highschool > accidentally bump into girl in the hallway > she says "ew" > mfw this happens on multiple occasions > mfw they aren't even trying to be mean, its just a gut reaction > 54 KB JPG one girl was even very sweet and apologetic. She said she was sorry and it just slipped out. i said it was fine and i continued my way to class. what henious crimes must i have committed in a past life to deserve this? is this punishment for prior sins?

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anon does an oopsie daisie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)19:09:53 No.66457973 >listening to music with my c--- out again 539 KB PNG
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)19:09:53 No.66457973 >listening to music with my c--- out again 539 KB PNG

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anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?

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anon has a theory | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Assortative Mating 12/06/21(Mon)19:50:51 No.66458528 Over the last 25 years something new has been noted Disabling pars of the brain with ur per agraw surie chang de te immigrastudy >only highly religious people are reproducing at above replacement levels >In the religious groups as lQ goes up fertility goes up In non-religious groups as IQ goes up Mc ee er el 1.16 MB PNG fertility goes DOWN >As global telecommunications gets better high IQ women increasingly only marry high IQ men >men with high mutational load (i.e. Iow genetic value) increasingly only match with high mutational load women *IF AT ALL*. >The increase in virginity in men and women is a combination of: >A) high IQ men &women with low mutational load (i.e., high genetic value) are increasingly religious and only mating with close peers, and >B) men and women with high mutational load are not mating AT ALL the result? >By 2200 the world will be 15% tall, handsome, religious, high IQ men and women wo only marry each other and >85% short, ugly mutants that are atheists working as drones
: Anonymous Assortative Mating 12/06/21(Mon)19:50:51 No.66458528 Over the last 25 years something new has been noted Disabling pars of the brain with ur per agraw surie chang de te immigrastudy >only highly religious people are reproducing at above replacement levels >In the religious groups as lQ goes up fertility goes up In non-religious groups as IQ goes up Mc ee er el 1.16 MB PNG fertility goes DOWN >As global telecommunications gets better high IQ women increasingly only marry high IQ men >men with high mutational load (i.e. Iow genetic value) increasingly only match with high mutational load women *IF AT ALL*. >The increase in virginity in men and women is a combination of: >A) high IQ men &women with low mutational load (i.e., high genetic value) are increasingly religious and only mating with close peers, and >B) men and women with high mutational load are not mating AT ALL the result? >By 2200 the world will be 15% tall, handsome, religious, high IQ men and women wo only marry each other and >85% short, ugly mutants that are atheists working as drones

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Anon is unacceptable even on 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)20:59:33 No.66455167 >never shave d--- and balls >have really gross but warm balls >have a spider nest in my ball pubes >every 2-3 weeks little spiderlings hatch and it feels really funny and tingly >sometimes they go in my pee hole and i have to pee them out and it feels good 44 KB JPG anybody else do this?
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)20:59:33 No.66455167 >never shave d--- and balls >have really gross but warm balls >have a spider nest in my ball pubes >every 2-3 weeks little spiderlings hatch and it feels really funny and tingly >sometimes they go in my pee hole and i have to pee them out and it feels good 44 KB JPG anybody else do this?

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Anon loves NASCAR | /r/Greentext

12/05/21(Sun)20:03:41 No.868060283 : Anonymous Goodwrench QUICK LUBEpus GM Goodwrench NASCA Winston Cup 7 Tim Champion FOOD CITY 39317312-0E92-43F6-827B-0202CD46D188.jpg 756 KB JPG >Be American Football Fan >Terrible fan community >Complicated rules >Ungrateful idiots paid millions >Be NASCAR fan >loving community every gets along >Easy to follow person in front wins >Good ole' boys work hard drive good to win big
12/05/21(Sun)20:03:41 No.868060283 : Anonymous Goodwrench QUICK LUBEpus GM Goodwrench NASCA Winston Cup 7 Tim Champion FOOD CITY 39317312-0E92-43F6-827B-0202CD46D188.jpg 756 KB JPG >Be American Football Fan >Terrible fan community >Complicated rules >Ungrateful idiots paid millions >Be NASCAR fan >loving community every gets along >Easy to follow person in front wins >Good ole' boys work hard drive good to win big

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Anon watches Rick and Morty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)04:27:07 No.160255429 >Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends the dimensions of time and space. cringe 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)04:28:23 No.160255469 >>160255429 (OP) # Love is a chemical reaction for breeding >>160255531 # >>160255602 # >>160255655 # >>160255669 # >>160256211# >>160256331 # >>160256379 # >>160256391 # >>160256623 # >>160257246 # >>160257944 # >>160258886 # >>160258999 # >>160261215 # >>160261646 # >>160262796 # >>160263001 # >>160263742 #
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)04:27:07 No.160255429 >Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends the dimensions of time and space. cringe 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)04:28:23 No.160255469 >>160255429 (OP) # Love is a chemical reaction for breeding >>160255531 # >>160255602 # >>160255655 # >>160255669 # >>160256211# >>160256331 # >>160256379 # >>160256391 # >>160256623 # >>160257246 # >>160257944 # >>160258886 # >>160258999 # >>160261215 # >>160261646 # >>160262796 # >>160263001 # >>160263742 #

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Anon tries to make friends. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 12/05/21(Sun)18:57:18 No.66444042 >make eye contact >girls immediately avert their gaze to the floor >guys will either trail off with what they were saying or will size you up as a threat WHAT THE F--- YOU GUYS TOLD ME TO 1.03 MB PNG MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT AND THEY DONT LIKE IT АAAААААААAAAAAAAAААAAAAA : Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)19:01:37 No.66444112 >>66444042 (OP) # Based. Keep making normies uncomfortable anon. >>66444158 #
: Anonymous E 12/05/21(Sun)18:57:18 No.66444042 >make eye contact >girls immediately avert their gaze to the floor >guys will either trail off with what they were saying or will size you up as a threat WHAT THE F--- YOU GUYS TOLD ME TO 1.03 MB PNG MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT AND THEY DONT LIKE IT АAAААААААAAAAAAAAААAAAAA : Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)19:01:37 No.66444112 >>66444042 (OP) # Based. Keep making normies uncomfortable anon. >>66444158 #

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Anon almost escapes the simulation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)22:03:55 No.868136720 >be me as a kid >kicking ass at Pokémon card game at day camp >get bored >for some reason have paper clip >decide to find out why the TV says putting metal in electrical sockets is bad 85 KB PNG >bend out paper clip >slowly enter the hole >a big jolt of what I can only describe as painful vibration hits my body >what lasted maybe .5 seconds felt like an hour >I look around and everything is muffled and slowed down >kind of like a call of duty cut scene >l almost escaped the matrix that day >if only I had held on a little longer
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)22:03:55 No.868136720 >be me as a kid >kicking ass at Pokémon card game at day camp >get bored >for some reason have paper clip >decide to find out why the TV says putting metal in electrical sockets is bad 85 KB PNG >bend out paper clip >slowly enter the hole >a big jolt of what I can only describe as painful vibration hits my body >what lasted maybe .5 seconds felt like an hour >I look around and everything is muffled and slowed down >kind of like a call of duty cut scene >l almost escaped the matrix that day >if only I had held on a little longer

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Anon discusses philosophy l. | /r/Greentext


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Anon visits earth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Movie idea 07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is 20 KB JPG an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues
: Anonymous Movie idea 07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is 20 KB JPG an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues

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anon wings it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)20:28:24 No.66458917 >yes, my finals do start in two days >no, i won't study >no, i haven't studied all semester >i WILL totally wing my finals >i WILL come home and hang myself 56 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)20:28:24 No.66458917 >yes, my finals do start in two days >no, i won't study >no, i haven't studied all semester >i WILL totally wing my finals >i WILL come home and hang myself 56 KB JPG

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Anon finds a suitor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)20:38:30 No.62414397 >>62411966 (OP) # >Covering regular carriers route >Old lady comes out and grabs her mail >oh are you the new carrier >no just covering ks route today 32 KB JPG shes on vaction >oh thats too bad I could get used to seeing you *winks* thats as good as it gets boys
: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)20:38:30 No.62414397 >>62411966 (OP) # >Covering regular carriers route >Old lady comes out and grabs her mail >oh are you the new carrier >no just covering ks route today 32 KB JPG shes on vaction >oh thats too bad I could get used to seeing you *winks* thats as good as it gets boys

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anon finds a girl | /r/Greentext

2bf5bd6b395e639ef39b88aff(...).jpg 2 (101 KB, 2000x1125) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)20:32:32 No.66458964 [3] [Reply] v >>66459061 >>66459361 >be me >college coomer >at the library in the manga section >see cute shy girl grabbing a MHA manga >have seen it so know what to talk about >"It's now or never anon" >strike a conversation and it actually goes well >surprised.wav >we exchange our socials >be texting her >she seems really sweet and empathetic and we get along real well >trad wife material so far >be a virgin and assume she is as well >want to make things spicier so ask her what's the wildest thing she has done >she says I should go first so I do >tell her I have masturbated at the manga section at the school library and came inside a Attack On Titan book on a mikasa picture >she laughs and says she's glad that she doesn't read AOT >realize she's probably as much as a sexual degenerate as me which is perfect >tell her it's her turn >she says she once decided to open up and go to a college party and ended up getting DP'd by two blackoids >call her a disgusting slut and block her It's over anons. Every girl is poisoned these days
2bf5bd6b395e639ef39b88aff(...).jpg 2 (101 KB, 2000x1125) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)20:32:32 No.66458964 [3] [Reply] v >>66459061 >>66459361 >be me >college coomer >at the library in the manga section >see cute shy girl grabbing a MHA manga >have seen it so know what to talk about >"It's now or never anon" >strike a conversation and it actually goes well >surprised.wav >we exchange our socials >be texting her >she seems really sweet and empathetic and we get along real well >trad wife material so far >be a virgin and assume she is as well >want to make things spicier so ask her what's the wildest thing she has done >she says I should go first so I do >tell her I have masturbated at the manga section at the school library and came inside a Attack On Titan book on a mikasa picture >she laughs and says she's glad that she doesn't read AOT >realize she's probably as much as a sexual degenerate as me which is perfect >tell her it's her turn >she says she once decided to open up and go to a college party and ended up getting DP'd by two blackoids >call her a disgusting slut and block her It's over anons. Every girl is poisoned these days

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