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Anon's waifu is a failure | /r/Greentext

>tfw cute 13 yo German redhead still hasn't come into your life to change it forever, fight in big robots and save humanity Why should I live? 14 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)11:19:48 No.66476979 Your waifu is a failure who didn't save anything
>tfw cute 13 yo German redhead still hasn't come into your life to change it forever, fight in big robots and save humanity Why should I live? 14 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)11:19:48 No.66476979 Your waifu is a failure who didn't save anything

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Anon is a schizo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)08:48:26 No.868192347 >Be me >never able to get aroused by p--- >not aroused by women either, but still want to date them >able to c-- by stimulating my d--- 26 KB JPG >worry that I'm gay, asexual, or worse, trans >end up with gf in senior year of highschool >worry that I'm going to need viagra to f--- her >laying with her in park >suddenly d--- turns rock hard >start cuddling her and making out >go back to my house >f--- her >she c--- >l c-- >nut so hard that I see colors and shapes >body feels like it's dissolving into tingles >learn I'm only attracted to women I know and trust >this is kind of bad because you can never trust a hoe >make it work >now 27 >have gf >tell her about this >"Oh, so you're demisexual" >find out there's a whole sexual identity for this >they're overthinking it >l just chalk it up to not being addicted to p---
: Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)08:48:26 No.868192347 >Be me >never able to get aroused by p--- >not aroused by women either, but still want to date them >able to c-- by stimulating my d--- 26 KB JPG >worry that I'm gay, asexual, or worse, trans >end up with gf in senior year of highschool >worry that I'm going to need viagra to f--- her >laying with her in park >suddenly d--- turns rock hard >start cuddling her and making out >go back to my house >f--- her >she c--- >l c-- >nut so hard that I see colors and shapes >body feels like it's dissolving into tingles >learn I'm only attracted to women I know and trust >this is kind of bad because you can never trust a hoe >make it work >now 27 >have gf >tell her about this >"Oh, so you're demisexual" >find out there's a whole sexual identity for this >they're overthinking it >l just chalk it up to not being addicted to p---

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Anon gets fashionable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)00:09:25 No.16667313 1806874 13187474_1049547.jpg 44 KB JPG >bought a striped polo because of kanye >everyone says i look like chris chan : Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)00:10:48 No.16667315 >>16667313 (OP) # >Kanye fan >Looking like Chris Chan I don't know which is worse.
: Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)00:09:25 No.16667313 1806874 13187474_1049547.jpg 44 KB JPG >bought a striped polo because of kanye >everyone says i look like chris chan : Anonymous 12/06/21(Mon)00:10:48 No.16667315 >>16667313 (OP) # >Kanye fan >Looking like Chris Chan I don't know which is worse.

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Anon has a Guinea pig | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)20:34:44 No.3987437 do you guys like my guinea pig 1.61 MB JPG : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)21:05:06 No.3987453 >>3987437 (OP)# I like the guinea pig but hate you. >>3987528 # >>3991621 # : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)23:00:41 No.3987528 >>3987453 # Why
: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)20:34:44 No.3987437 do you guys like my guinea pig 1.61 MB JPG : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)21:05:06 No.3987453 >>3987437 (OP)# I like the guinea pig but hate you. >>3987528 # >>3991621 # : Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)23:00:41 No.3987528 >>3987453 # Why

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Guilty as charged! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:05:46 No.719447132 ITT: Pretend we're reddit 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:08:03 No.719447353 >s----- film reference >gay dad joke 'WoW thanks for the gold guys, lets all meet up and have a massive o--- because of how perfect we all are' >>719447581 # >>719447619 # >>719447968 # : Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:10:29 No.719447581 >>719447353 # /thread
: Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:05:46 No.719447132 ITT: Pretend we're reddit 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:08:03 No.719447353 >s----- film reference >gay dad joke 'WoW thanks for the gold guys, lets all meet up and have a massive o--- because of how perfect we all are' >>719447581 # >>719447619 # >>719447968 # : Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:10:29 No.719447581 >>719447353 # /thread

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Anon joins the military | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/19(Thu)06:39:19 No.801539730 Military Story Thread? Military Story Thread. I'll start. >Be me, join Navy. >Dad was in the Navy, grandad, his grandad, etc. >Finally in, on the boat, the works. >There's some furfag here but 11 KB JPG we're suppose to be "tolerant." Doesn't matter anyway, everyone's f----- gay anyway. >f--- around with my boys on the ship >finally time for lights out >Go to bunk >furfag approaches my bunk >"The f--- do you want furfag?" >feel something grab my ass, and then my c--- >mortified >flip s--- >beat the s--- out of him >get discharged >w/el don't wanna f----- go back >Drink my troubles away >Talk to therapist about it >"What did he say to you?" >... "I can't doc. I really just can't." >Can't take it anymore >Go home >Put gun in my mouth >Wife breaks door down and demands to know what he said. >He said... "uwu, wots dis? A foreskin? Gimme yer smeggie weggie!" >crying, wife consoles me as I type this 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/06/19(Thu)06:39:19 No.801539730 Military Story Thread? Military Story Thread. I'll start. >Be me, join Navy. >Dad was in the Navy, grandad, his grandad, etc. >Finally in, on the boat, the works. >There's some furfag here but 11 KB JPG we're suppose to be "tolerant." Doesn't matter anyway, everyone's f----- gay anyway. >f--- around with my boys on the ship >finally time for lights out >Go to bunk >furfag approaches my bunk >"The f--- do you want furfag?" >feel something grab my ass, and then my c--- >mortified >flip s--- >beat the s--- out of him >get discharged >w/el don't wanna f----- go back >Drink my troubles away >Talk to therapist about it >"What did he say to you?" >... "I can't doc. I really just can't." >Can't take it anymore >Go home >Put gun in my mouth >Wife breaks door down and demands to know what he said. >He said... "uwu, wots dis? A foreskin? Gimme yer smeggie weggie!" >crying, wife consoles me as I type this 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon and the boys | /r/Greentext

>be an awkward social outcast weird loner with no life or friends >naturally be on 4chan >make a deeply personal post >responders call me a f----- and tell me to kms 29 KB JPG >strangely feels really good like banter from “the boys" that I never had in real life You make me feel cozy and at home /b/ and I love you
>be an awkward social outcast weird loner with no life or friends >naturally be on 4chan >make a deeply personal post >responders call me a f----- and tell me to kms 29 KB JPG >strangely feels really good like banter from “the boys" that I never had in real life You make me feel cozy and at home /b/ and I love you

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Anon orders food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:53:58 No.851359630 >Be me >order food from DoorDash >says it will take 20 minutes >hard af >it's been 2 hours w-- >look outside to see trail of blood and a 597 KB JPG collapsed body >look down street and see horrific car crash >driver crashed and in his final moments brought me my food >rate him 1 star for being late and leaving his trash body in my driveway
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)11:53:58 No.851359630 >Be me >order food from DoorDash >says it will take 20 minutes >hard af >it's been 2 hours w-- >look outside to see trail of blood and a 597 KB JPG collapsed body >look down street and see horrific car crash >driver crashed and in his final moments brought me my food >rate him 1 star for being late and leaving his trash body in my driveway

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Anon being irrelevant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)22:06:37 No.17098969 vegan anon here. why dont you go vegan? >better health >better looks and feelings put your thoughts here. try to stay civil i guess cause people get up in arms about veganism for no good reason 533 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)22:08:05 No.17098975 >>17098969 (OP) # This board is for food and cooking. >>17098989 # : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)22:11:03 No.17098984 >>17098969 (OP) # >>better health >>better looks and feelings Neither are true >>17098989 #
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)22:06:37 No.17098969 vegan anon here. why dont you go vegan? >better health >better looks and feelings put your thoughts here. try to stay civil i guess cause people get up in arms about veganism for no good reason 533 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)22:08:05 No.17098975 >>17098969 (OP) # This board is for food and cooking. >>17098989 # : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)22:11:03 No.17098984 >>17098969 (OP) # >>better health >>better looks and feelings Neither are true >>17098989 #

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Anon has a sleep paralysis demon | /r/Greentext

>be me >have sleep paralysis every now and then, pretty rare >wake up, can't move, paralyzed below neck >scared for some reason 146 KB PNG >see some black, humanoid shape silhoutte in room corner >nothing outstandingly bad, but don't want to deal with it anymore >start jerking off aggresively every time before bed, staring into that corner to assert dominance and show that I don't fear >one night wake up >can't move, heart racing >skinless woman looking thing with dozens of eyes on her face sitting on me, straddling. Has hands with claws like Freddy Kruger knife fingers but on both hands >nearly s--- myself >it whispers >"sleep naked you coward, I'll f--- you so hard you'll never be able to get off to any other human again" >"I'll be waiting, worm" >shut my eyes, praying to Lord to deliver me from this evil >surrounded my bed with salt the next day, no longer try to assert any sort of dominance >get sleep paralysis now more often, same s--- with silhoutte in dark room corner >week ago silhoutte moved to foot of the bed, looks like it stands behind salt line but I'm still getting nervous how f----- am I it's all in my head, just my f----- up imagination, right? Would going to psychiatrist help?
>be me >have sleep paralysis every now and then, pretty rare >wake up, can't move, paralyzed below neck >scared for some reason 146 KB PNG >see some black, humanoid shape silhoutte in room corner >nothing outstandingly bad, but don't want to deal with it anymore >start jerking off aggresively every time before bed, staring into that corner to assert dominance and show that I don't fear >one night wake up >can't move, heart racing >skinless woman looking thing with dozens of eyes on her face sitting on me, straddling. Has hands with claws like Freddy Kruger knife fingers but on both hands >nearly s--- myself >it whispers >"sleep naked you coward, I'll f--- you so hard you'll never be able to get off to any other human again" >"I'll be waiting, worm" >shut my eyes, praying to Lord to deliver me from this evil >surrounded my bed with salt the next day, no longer try to assert any sort of dominance >get sleep paralysis now more often, same s--- with silhoutte in dark room corner >week ago silhoutte moved to foot of the bed, looks like it stands behind salt line but I'm still getting nervous how f----- am I it's all in my head, just my f----- up imagination, right? Would going to psychiatrist help?

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Anon sells a few copies of cod | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.592760531 Vor 53 Minuten >Be me working at gamestop >parent asks for a game called "cod" >tell her there is no game called "cod" but her son probably meant "Rapala pro bass fishing" there are lots of fish in that game and the closest we have >have ton of copies in the back >we have a deal on, if you buy 2 copies you get 1 free >she buys three brand new copies of this game >she comes back after christmas >all three copies have been opened >no refund because you opened them >a kid out there received 3 copies of a f------ fishing game for christmas 2 replies
Anonymous No.592760531 Vor 53 Minuten >Be me working at gamestop >parent asks for a game called "cod" >tell her there is no game called "cod" but her son probably meant "Rapala pro bass fishing" there are lots of fish in that game and the closest we have >have ton of copies in the back >we have a deal on, if you buy 2 copies you get 1 free >she buys three brand new copies of this game >she comes back after christmas >all three copies have been opened >no refund because you opened them >a kid out there received 3 copies of a f------ fishing game for christmas 2 replies

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Anon buys a kitchen | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:06 No.17095437 RESS 64F4EF9C-12CB-4778-9FD8-681FEC118919.png 682 KB PNG >buy a new home >check the kitchen >laminate countertops : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:27 No.17095440 ok : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:28 No.17095441 this is a weird meme >>17095445 #
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:06 No.17095437 RESS 64F4EF9C-12CB-4778-9FD8-681FEC118919.png 682 KB PNG >buy a new home >check the kitchen >laminate countertops : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:27 No.17095440 ok : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)15:12:28 No.17095441 this is a weird meme >>17095445 #

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Anon laughs at current events | /r/Greentext

No.766291653 43 minutes ago JPG 17.5 KİB 248x189 This Starbucks s--- is cracking me up. To recap: >Black people loitering. >"Buy something or leave." >dasracist.jpg >Cops get involved. >Chimpouts across the country. >4chan makes fake Starbucks coupons for black people. >Black people go in droves to Starbucks. >"Gibs me dats" >Coupons are fake >Double Chimpout MFW 6 replies
No.766291653 43 minutes ago JPG 17.5 KİB 248x189 This Starbucks s--- is cracking me up. To recap: >Black people loitering. >"Buy something or leave." >dasracist.jpg >Cops get involved. >Chimpouts across the country. >4chan makes fake Starbucks coupons for black people. >Black people go in droves to Starbucks. >"Gibs me dats" >Coupons are fake >Double Chimpout MFW 6 replies

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Anon didn't think | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)23:49:22 No.160142913 >l-I didn't think- >THAT'S RIGHT YOU DIDN'T THINK 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)23:49:22 No.160142913 >l-I didn't think- >THAT'S RIGHT YOU DIDN'T THINK 50 KB JPG

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anon solves his problem | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Have mega ant problem >They're resistant to black pepper 40 KB JPG >Bleach >Even liquid ant traps >One day I j------- in bathtub >Don't even clean it because I'm filth >Later I go back in bathroom and see ants have consumed almost all of my boy milk >Within the next couple days, almost all ants are gone >l've weaponized my man nectar
>Be me >Have mega ant problem >They're resistant to black pepper 40 KB JPG >Bleach >Even liquid ant traps >One day I j------- in bathtub >Don't even clean it because I'm filth >Later I go back in bathroom and see ants have consumed almost all of my boy milk >Within the next couple days, almost all ants are gone >l've weaponized my man nectar

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Anon is all of us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)21:07:06 No.868188782 >be me >have f----- name >request irl mom to call me anon >she agrees >calls me anon >l am now anon 254 KB JPG >l am all of you
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)21:07:06 No.868188782 >be me >have f----- name >request irl mom to call me anon >she agrees >calls me anon >l am now anon 254 KB JPG >l am all of you

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anon gives words of advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)11:29:23 No.66466374 >Virgin at 28 it's over, right? 4 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)11:30:36 No.66466383 Dumb frogposter. Kindly f--- off and kys please.
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)11:29:23 No.66466374 >Virgin at 28 it's over, right? 4 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)11:30:36 No.66466383 Dumb frogposter. Kindly f--- off and kys please.

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Anon moves to Bell-air | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 787981129 5 min. ago •.. I had a s----- f------ day, /b/! >Be me >Playing basket ball by myself at a court >hear "HEY F-----!" >Turn around and see three chads >"Wh-who? Me?" 38.2 kB JPG >"Yeah you! What are you doing on OUR court?!" >"It's a public court." >"Like Hell, GTFO!" >"No." >He goes up and push me >Feel angry >push him back >He punches me >Say "You wanna play? l'll play!" >Perceed to get into fight with them >They're kicking my ass >Whatever don't give up >All of a sudden hear a voice >"WHATS GOING ON!?" >Hearing this the 3 chads run off >It's my mom >"HOW COULD YOU?!" >"Mom, I'm sorry! They-" >My Mom is offically scared of me >She's decided on kicking me out to live with my Aunt and Uncle What do?
Anonymous | 787981129 5 min. ago •.. I had a s----- f------ day, /b/! >Be me >Playing basket ball by myself at a court >hear "HEY F-----!" >Turn around and see three chads >"Wh-who? Me?" 38.2 kB JPG >"Yeah you! What are you doing on OUR court?!" >"It's a public court." >"Like Hell, GTFO!" >"No." >He goes up and push me >Feel angry >push him back >He punches me >Say "You wanna play? l'll play!" >Perceed to get into fight with them >They're kicking my ass >Whatever don't give up >All of a sudden hear a voice >"WHATS GOING ON!?" >Hearing this the 3 chads run off >It's my mom >"HOW COULD YOU?!" >"Mom, I'm sorry! They-" >My Mom is offically scared of me >She's decided on kicking me out to live with my Aunt and Uncle What do?

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All the wrong moves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)14:34:07 No.66468435 >go on 3 tinder dates >first girl - not hot no moves made >second girl - hot but didnt make a move, tried to play it cool got ghosted >third girl - hot made a move, got her over to my place. Tried to escalate to a kiss. Got rejected 20 KB JPG What the f---, how does this dating s--- work. I want p---- god damnit. Ive been beating my meat since september : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)14:41:52 No.66468525 >>66468435 (OP) # I've been beating my meat for the last 9 years. Сope.
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)14:34:07 No.66468435 >go on 3 tinder dates >first girl - not hot no moves made >second girl - hot but didnt make a move, tried to play it cool got ghosted >third girl - hot made a move, got her over to my place. Tried to escalate to a kiss. Got rejected 20 KB JPG What the f---, how does this dating s--- work. I want p---- god damnit. Ive been beating my meat since september : Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)14:41:52 No.66468525 >>66468435 (OP) # I've been beating my meat for the last 9 years. Сope.

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What's his secret? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:42:03 No.39596368 >is fat/looks fat >doesn't lift >only eats fish and berries >still faster and stronger than 100% of /fit/ 1.95 MB PNG What is his secret? Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:44:34 No.39596401 He's happy >>39598722 # >>39600157 # >>39601419 # >>39604092 # >>39604310 # >>39604367 # >>39604613 #
: Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:42:03 No.39596368 >is fat/looks fat >doesn't lift >only eats fish and berries >still faster and stronger than 100% of /fit/ 1.95 MB PNG What is his secret? Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:44:34 No.39596401 He's happy >>39598722 # >>39600157 # >>39601419 # >>39604092 # >>39604310 # >>39604367 # >>39604613 #

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