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Anon learns of airplanes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:31:37 No.64 >>64643822 (OP) # >get in >door closes >???????????????? >in a new country how? 232 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:31:37 No.64 >>64643822 (OP) # >get in >door closes >???????????????? >in a new country how? 232 KB JPG

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Anon has a good boss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon studied | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)12:23:07 No.868222467 >be me >be retarded student >studied for like 4 hrs so decided to do faggotry on omegle.. >girl asks me to j------- and shows boobs. >whynot.jpeg >girl sees my d--- >says its really big and she has never seen anything 6 KB PNG more than 6" feels good /b/ros 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)12:23:07 No.868222467 >be me >be retarded student >studied for like 4 hrs so decided to do faggotry on omegle.. >girl asks me to j------- and shows boobs. >whynot.jpeg >girl sees my d--- >says its really big and she has never seen anything 6 KB PNG more than 6" feels good /b/ros 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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George gets dating advice | /r/Greentext

6m (12/7 10:40) · 160281322 2 Re · 1 Img · JPG · 17KB · (656 × 480) 2 Replies >I called her a slut, Jerry. >You called her a slut? >I CALLED HER A SLUT! >Why did you call her a slut? >I DON'T KNOW ELAINE TOLD ME GIRLS LIKE THAT NOW A DAYS! 4m (12/7 10:42)·160281368 >>160281322 (OP) They do but your penis should be inside them when you do it 2m (12/7 10:44) · 160281452 PNG · 331KB · (740 × 370) >>160281322 (OP) [Kramer enters] >you cant call her a slut, george >but you called that guy a n----- >that was different
6m (12/7 10:40) · 160281322 2 Re · 1 Img · JPG · 17KB · (656 × 480) 2 Replies >I called her a slut, Jerry. >You called her a slut? >I CALLED HER A SLUT! >Why did you call her a slut? >I DON'T KNOW ELAINE TOLD ME GIRLS LIKE THAT NOW A DAYS! 4m (12/7 10:42)·160281368 >>160281322 (OP) They do but your penis should be inside them when you do it 2m (12/7 10:44) · 160281452 PNG · 331KB · (740 × 370) >>160281322 (OP) [Kramer enters] >you cant call her a slut, george >but you called that guy a n----- >that was different

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Anon gets fries | /r/Greentext

"x934) O Anonymous 10/20/19(Sun)19: >go to mcdonalds >order two large fries >they give me around 75 tiny ones
"x934) O Anonymous 10/20/19(Sun)19: >go to mcdonalds >order two large fries >they give me around 75 tiny ones

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OP does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)12:02:32 No.28529460 Google "how do they put pepsi in the can" >14,000,000 results Google "how do they put coke in the can" >0 results 11 KB JPG what does this mean? : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)15:03:36 No.28530933 how do they put coke in the can Q Al O Shopping O Videos O Images 回 News : More About 169,000,000 results (0.62 seconds) What.png 9 KB PNG ???
I Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)12:02:32 No.28529460 Google "how do they put pepsi in the can" >14,000,000 results Google "how do they put coke in the can" >0 results 11 KB JPG what does this mean? : Anonymous 05/15/21(Sat)15:03:36 No.28530933 how do they put coke in the can Q Al O Shopping O Videos O Images 回 News : More About 169,000,000 results (0.62 seconds) What.png 9 KB PNG ???

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Anon really loves KDE | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous - 12/08/21(Wed)15:39:59 No.84665884 Why yes, I do pick my Desktop Environment based on how fuckable the mascot is. 145 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)16:16:39 No.84666186 >>84665884 (OP) # anon please pull your pants back up 371 KB PNG
: Anonymous - 12/08/21(Wed)15:39:59 No.84665884 Why yes, I do pick my Desktop Environment based on how fuckable the mascot is. 145 KB PNG : Anonymous 12/08/21(Wed)16:16:39 No.84666186 >>84665884 (OP) # anon please pull your pants back up 371 KB PNG

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Anon meets double agent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)15:27:09 No.867959355 >>867959423 > be me > hate women > invited to party by roommate > pick up one of her friends in the car > she's funny > she's really funny, bounces of each joke, adds a new quirk to each conversion topic > actually taken aback, start to rethink maybe women can actually be as interesting as men > night progresses, overhear them later talking to someone about their hormone therapy > mfw Trans Now I hate women even more, imagine needing to be subsidized by double agents Fie >> Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)15:29:08 No.867959423 >>867959355 (OP) >she's funny thats where you should have noticed it was a t-----, no women is funny.
Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)15:27:09 No.867959355 >>867959423 > be me > hate women > invited to party by roommate > pick up one of her friends in the car > she's funny > she's really funny, bounces of each joke, adds a new quirk to each conversion topic > actually taken aback, start to rethink maybe women can actually be as interesting as men > night progresses, overhear them later talking to someone about their hormone therapy > mfw Trans Now I hate women even more, imagine needing to be subsidized by double agents Fie >> Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)15:29:08 No.867959423 >>867959355 (OP) >she's funny thats where you should have noticed it was a t-----, no women is funny.

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Anon questions his sexuality | /r/Greentext

File: 85EF396B-70B1-481C-8DAF-A(...)jpg (34 KB, 300x227) O Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)10:23:37 No.868235264 [Reply] ► >be me, in middle school >friend tells me about gays >"ew that's disgusting" >"oh f--- what if l end up being gay >shitshitshitshit >ask friend how to tell if someone is gay >'it's easy anon, gays can't control themselves from dancing when they hear music" >go home and put on music to gaytest myself >no uncontrollable dancing >"but what if I just don't have the right gay music" >really don't want to be gay >spend all of middle school paranoid that I might hear a song some day that'll make me dance uncontrollably Am 23 now and still not gay. Terrible at dancing though.
File: 85EF396B-70B1-481C-8DAF-A(...)jpg (34 KB, 300x227) O Anonymous 12/09/21(Thu)10:23:37 No.868235264 [Reply] ► >be me, in middle school >friend tells me about gays >"ew that's disgusting" >"oh f--- what if l end up being gay >shitshitshitshit >ask friend how to tell if someone is gay >'it's easy anon, gays can't control themselves from dancing when they hear music" >go home and put on music to gaytest myself >no uncontrollable dancing >"but what if I just don't have the right gay music" >really don't want to be gay >spend all of middle school paranoid that I might hear a song some day that'll make me dance uncontrollably Am 23 now and still not gay. Terrible at dancing though.

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Anon admits he was wrong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/20(Sun)13:16:03 No.57171994 >go on reddit >make comment about something I think I'm right about >get proven wrong >admit that I was wrong and thank person who provided a 231 KB PNG source >get downvoted anyway >this f------ site
: Anonymous 03/15/20(Sun)13:16:03 No.57171994 >go on reddit >make comment about something I think I'm right about >get proven wrong >admit that I was wrong and thank person who provided a 231 KB PNG source >get downvoted anyway >this f------ site

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Luke did i ever tell you about some fine ass pussy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 100810602 4 hr. ago >Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father's exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of j------- from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we'd even have the entire 501st run a train 1.9 kB JPG over her, part of official Jedi “training" of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you'd get a glimpse of her orange p---- mid fight as she'd do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant p---- Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
Anonymous 100810602 4 hr. ago >Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father's exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of j------- from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we'd even have the entire 501st run a train 1.9 kB JPG over her, part of official Jedi “training" of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you'd get a glimpse of her orange p---- mid fight as she'd do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant p---- Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.

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Anon is a bigoted closet gay | /r/Greentext

>in high school >some chick tells me gays deserve equal rights >my first ever time learning about gays and Igb rights >that's weird but whatever idc >in college, start to learn about other 295 KB PNG genders >"trannies are natural and chopping off genitalia is cool" >w-- that's really really weird but whatever idc >get a job >have to state my gender and take Igbtq+ trainings >every show I watch has gays and trannies >characters I used to love are big gay and t----- >starting to get absurd seeing all the pandering to gays >one days, 8 year old daughter comes home and says her teacher said anyone can become any gender when they grow up >not happy with this b-------. I didn't sign up for this propagation of gender dysphoria promotion >can't do anything about it >see post on internet about trans children >comment dissent >"f--- you bigor anon you suck why are you a bigot when this doesn't even affect you, you seem obsessed like you're a closet gay"
>in high school >some chick tells me gays deserve equal rights >my first ever time learning about gays and Igb rights >that's weird but whatever idc >in college, start to learn about other 295 KB PNG genders >"trannies are natural and chopping off genitalia is cool" >w-- that's really really weird but whatever idc >get a job >have to state my gender and take Igbtq+ trainings >every show I watch has gays and trannies >characters I used to love are big gay and t----- >starting to get absurd seeing all the pandering to gays >one days, 8 year old daughter comes home and says her teacher said anyone can become any gender when they grow up >not happy with this b-------. I didn't sign up for this propagation of gender dysphoria promotion >can't do anything about it >see post on internet about trans children >comment dissent >"f--- you bigor anon you suck why are you a bigot when this doesn't even affect you, you seem obsessed like you're a closet gay"

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Anon high fives a chad. | /r/Greentext

>>be me >>On this board so you can guess what I look like >>Working at summer camp >>Accidentally touch female friend's t-- when she tripped and I 99 KB PNG tried to catch her >>Accidentally brushed her butt later when raising my hand >>Later she's talking with Chad and I come over >>"Anon touched my ass and t--, Anon, what do you have to say for yourself" >>Sperg out >>"Feels pretty good man" >>Stacy's mouth gaps >>Chad gives me a high five Later virgins?
>>be me >>On this board so you can guess what I look like >>Working at summer camp >>Accidentally touch female friend's t-- when she tripped and I 99 KB PNG tried to catch her >>Accidentally brushed her butt later when raising my hand >>Later she's talking with Chad and I come over >>"Anon touched my ass and t--, Anon, what do you have to say for yourself" >>Sperg out >>"Feels pretty good man" >>Stacy's mouth gaps >>Chad gives me a high five Later virgins?

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Rubbed the wrong way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)22:13:26 No.66474018 # q clown cat.gif 167 KB GIF >boyfriend is a photographer >l'm okay that this means that sometimes he will interacting with girls that want nudes or pictures taken of them in sexy outfits >find out he's rubbing oil on their bodies for "better" pictures
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)22:13:26 No.66474018 # q clown cat.gif 167 KB GIF >boyfriend is a photographer >l'm okay that this means that sometimes he will interacting with girls that want nudes or pictures taken of them in sexy outfits >find out he's rubbing oil on their bodies for "better" pictures

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How it feels to chew 5 gum | /r/Greentext

>be me >19 yo 6/10 >Go out to movie with bestie of 3 years >9/10 5 KB PNG >Its technically a date >Dinner and movie >Get ice cream afterwards >Give her a glass flower I bought earlier in the month >She loves it and we go for a walk >Pull out 5GUM:TRUTH OR DARE PACK >Her wrapper says take a selfie with eyes closed >She does >I read mine It says to ask the most beautiful person in the room to kiss >We laugh it off but u remember the glass flower base has a mirror on the bottom side Where's the most beautiful girl at though? >Look at the mirrored base Oh look I found her! >Showed her the mirrored base of the flower >We smile and kiss for the first time ever >She reads the other part of the wrapper >"What's the most romantic moment you've shared with the person next to you?" >"This one right now" >mfw how it feels to chew 5gum Memecenter.com
>be me >19 yo 6/10 >Go out to movie with bestie of 3 years >9/10 5 KB PNG >Its technically a date >Dinner and movie >Get ice cream afterwards >Give her a glass flower I bought earlier in the month >She loves it and we go for a walk >Pull out 5GUM:TRUTH OR DARE PACK >Her wrapper says take a selfie with eyes closed >She does >I read mine It says to ask the most beautiful person in the room to kiss >We laugh it off but u remember the glass flower base has a mirror on the bottom side Where's the most beautiful girl at though? >Look at the mirrored base Oh look I found her! >Showed her the mirrored base of the flower >We smile and kiss for the first time ever >She reads the other part of the wrapper >"What's the most romantic moment you've shared with the person next to you?" >"This one right now" >mfw how it feels to chew 5gum Memecenter.com

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Amy tells us a tale | /r/Greentext

File: 150507-news-amy-schumer jpg (49 KB, 349x509) Anonymous 10/17/15(Sat)14:22:14 No.646917109 > be me, Amy Schumer > get a crush on some guy who wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole > one day he drunk dials me >I go to his house > he's so wasted he literally cannot make eye contact with me > 1, fully sober, walk over to him and initiate sex > he is so drunk he can't even stay erect > he falls asleep on more than one occasion > I keep having sex with him > tell this story at a feminist gala > feminists praise me for literally r----- a guy > mfw the media doesn't even care > mfw I get to host Saturday Night Live > mfw I have the gall to condemn Bill Cosby for doing the same s--- I did la
File: 150507-news-amy-schumer jpg (49 KB, 349x509) Anonymous 10/17/15(Sat)14:22:14 No.646917109 > be me, Amy Schumer > get a crush on some guy who wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole > one day he drunk dials me >I go to his house > he's so wasted he literally cannot make eye contact with me > 1, fully sober, walk over to him and initiate sex > he is so drunk he can't even stay erect > he falls asleep on more than one occasion > I keep having sex with him > tell this story at a feminist gala > feminists praise me for literally r----- a guy > mfw the media doesn't even care > mfw I get to host Saturday Night Live > mfw I have the gall to condemn Bill Cosby for doing the same s--- I did la

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Anon meets Robin Hood | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 hours ago 434656828 >1 in the morning >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude' >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me.. N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude I've ever met 6 REPLIES
Anonymous 6 hours ago 434656828 >1 in the morning >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude' >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me.. N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude I've ever met 6 REPLIES

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Anon counts numbers | /r/Greentext

[27 /9/15] SCIENCE 118KIB, 800x789, soy science.png Anonymous Wed 11 Aug 2021 15:37:42 No.4868322 View Quoted By: >>4868364 >>4868453 >There is NO number between six and seven called "thrembo." Thrembo does not exist. Take your meds.
[27 /9/15] SCIENCE 118KIB, 800x789, soy science.png Anonymous Wed 11 Aug 2021 15:37:42 No.4868322 View Quoted By: >>4868364 >>4868453 >There is NO number between six and seven called "thrembo." Thrembo does not exist. Take your meds.

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Anon likes moles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention
: Anonymous 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took a s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ 13 KB JPG funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like l'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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Anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

9 min. ago Anonymous 1 804906840 positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck 158.5 kB PNG >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck
9 min. ago Anonymous 1 804906840 positive dad stories thread >be me, 9 >own a toy firetruck >godifuckinglovemyfiretruck.jpg >bring to show and tell >kids make fun of firetruck 158.5 kB PNG >go home tell dad >dad tells me not to worry about it >next day >dad wakes me up for drive to school >pass school >"dad where are we going?" >"my friends want to meet you anon" >pull up to firehouse >dad told his firefighter friends what happened >get tour of firehouse and meet real firemen >get to honk real firetruck horn mfw my dad took off work just to make me feel better over some stupid toy truck

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