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Anon realised it was rigged from the start | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)00:15:08 No.66522340 Tepuld really use a wish right now, wish right now. wish right now. >cleaning room, find old yearbook >it's been 10 years since 5th grade >look up every single classmate's name >no linked in, no companies, no accomplishments how did literally every single person 84 KB JPG in our class become a loser
: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)00:15:08 No.66522340 Tepuld really use a wish right now, wish right now. wish right now. >cleaning room, find old yearbook >it's been 10 years since 5th grade >look up every single classmate's name >no linked in, no companies, no accomplishments how did literally every single person 84 KB JPG in our class become a loser

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Anon thinks he got molested | /r/Greentext

File: bc1.jpg (64 KB, 719x688) O Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)22:04:19 No.66521424 [Reply] • >>66521485 >be me, 25yo eurofag >old uncle asks for help dismantling an old trailer he has up in the mountains >say yes, get there >as soon as i am inside the trailer, i get hit by a sudden memory from my childhood >me, around 4-5 yo, in the bed in that trailer, naked >two older cousins (both female) playing with my tiny d---, both naked too >they were 18-19 at the time, could be a real memory >suddenly feel uncomfortable >try to shrug it off and keep working with uncle >noon, one of the older cousins comes by to bring us lunch >after lunch uncle goes back to trailer, I stay with older cousin >say "I just remembered being here as a child" >"really? you were like.4? you cant possibly remember that" >l say "I do" in the coldest way possible, staring at her right in the eyes >she says nothing, leaves soon after SUFFER >never talked about it with anyone since I was molested, wasnt I?
File: bc1.jpg (64 KB, 719x688) O Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)22:04:19 No.66521424 [Reply] • >>66521485 >be me, 25yo eurofag >old uncle asks for help dismantling an old trailer he has up in the mountains >say yes, get there >as soon as i am inside the trailer, i get hit by a sudden memory from my childhood >me, around 4-5 yo, in the bed in that trailer, naked >two older cousins (both female) playing with my tiny d---, both naked too >they were 18-19 at the time, could be a real memory >suddenly feel uncomfortable >try to shrug it off and keep working with uncle >noon, one of the older cousins comes by to bring us lunch >after lunch uncle goes back to trailer, I stay with older cousin >say "I just remembered being here as a child" >"really? you were like.4? you cant possibly remember that" >l say "I do" in the coldest way possible, staring at her right in the eyes >she says nothing, leaves soon after SUFFER >never talked about it with anyone since I was molested, wasnt I?

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Anon is australian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Waltzing matilda 12/11/21(Sat)10:23:35 No.66518715 >be me >Australian dude living in the outback on my parents farm >riding around on my horse one day when I see a homeless guy sat by our pond >don't say anything cause he's just boiling some water on a little fire >one of our sheep goes to the pond to 162 KB PNG have a drink >he jumps up and stuffs the whole f------ thing into his bag >w--.dmi >ride to the nearest town to fetch the police because I don't want to deal with this f------ >they come along and ask him about the sheep he stole >he shouts "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE" >he f------ leaps into the pond >drowns himself and the f------ sheep w-- anons which one of you visited my farm
: Anonymous Waltzing matilda 12/11/21(Sat)10:23:35 No.66518715 >be me >Australian dude living in the outback on my parents farm >riding around on my horse one day when I see a homeless guy sat by our pond >don't say anything cause he's just boiling some water on a little fire >one of our sheep goes to the pond to 162 KB PNG have a drink >he jumps up and stuffs the whole f------ thing into his bag >w--.dmi >ride to the nearest town to fetch the police because I don't want to deal with this f------ >they come along and ask him about the sheep he stole >he shouts "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE" >he f------ leaps into the pond >drowns himself and the f------ sheep w-- anons which one of you visited my farm

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Anon gets spooked | /r/Greentext

Weirdest sleep paralysis story? I'll start SWake up looking at ceiling >Can't move >Grudge looking ass baby comes in >Starts dancing on my chest SUtters these exact words "I MAY BE DEAD, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE DENTAL INSURANCE!" >Start laughing SHe laughs with me >Kisses me on my nose "See ya again, buttercup!! >Wake up with my pants covered with semen 6.7 kB JPG I'm still spooked 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY
Weirdest sleep paralysis story? I'll start SWake up looking at ceiling >Can't move >Grudge looking ass baby comes in >Starts dancing on my chest SUtters these exact words "I MAY BE DEAD, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE DENTAL INSURANCE!" >Start laughing SHe laughs with me >Kisses me on my nose "See ya again, buttercup!! >Wake up with my pants covered with semen 6.7 kB JPG I'm still spooked 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY

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Anon has a meal | /r/Greentext

>be sad >eat bunch of candy >drink soda >now my tummy hurts >still sad 12 KB JPG I'm 21yo btw
>be sad >eat bunch of candy >drink soda >now my tummy hurts >still sad 12 KB JPG I'm 21yo btw

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Anon visits Japan | /r/Greentext

> be me > hate my life > just watch anime all day, no friends, minimum wage McDonald's job > decide to make a change > want to travel 50 KB JPG > decide to fulfill my gaijin dreams and go to Japan > save up for months and book flight to Tokyo > see Tokyo Tower, visit temples, gardens, shrines > happy for once > get hungry > go to konbini > can't read any labels but buy a can of beans and some pocky > stand outside konbini eating > group of salarymen notice me > hear one of them > 見て、あの外国人がビーンズを食べてるよ! > mfw え?
> be me > hate my life > just watch anime all day, no friends, minimum wage McDonald's job > decide to make a change > want to travel 50 KB JPG > decide to fulfill my gaijin dreams and go to Japan > save up for months and book flight to Tokyo > see Tokyo Tower, visit temples, gardens, shrines > happy for once > get hungry > go to konbini > can't read any labels but buy a can of beans and some pocky > stand outside konbini eating > group of salarymen notice me > hear one of them > 見て、あの外国人がビーンズを食べてるよ! > mfw え?

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Anon learns to cook | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/31/19(Thu)19:20:01 No.13146883 >be 1 month neet after my job of a year >my only skill is videogames >think cooking is for girls >discover gordon ramsay >he's angry, but wise and understandable 33 KB JPG >start watching hall his videos >just made a pumpkin soup after his recipe and my whole family likes it and says good job >get happy that I finally did something on my own and that my family isn't angry or disappointing thank you Ramsay
: Anonymous 10/31/19(Thu)19:20:01 No.13146883 >be 1 month neet after my job of a year >my only skill is videogames >think cooking is for girls >discover gordon ramsay >he's angry, but wise and understandable 33 KB JPG >start watching hall his videos >just made a pumpkin soup after his recipe and my whole family likes it and says good job >get happy that I finally did something on my own and that my family isn't angry or disappointing thank you Ramsay

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Anon is haram | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 49384163 (3 m) >be me >have one shot at life >born gay in iran mfw PNG
Anonymous No. 49384163 (3 m) >be me >have one shot at life >born gay in iran mfw PNG

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Anon is finally free | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)10:26:00 No.66518739 >go to sleep >night hot af but decide to not turn on the air conditioner >sleep horny >have a lucid dream that had nothing to do with sex I just woke up all numb in my joints and lost all urges to j------- or watch p---... 60 KB JPG It's been almost an entire day and had not a single dirty thought nor had the urge to j------- or watch p---. Am I finally cured?
: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)10:26:00 No.66518739 >go to sleep >night hot af but decide to not turn on the air conditioner >sleep horny >have a lucid dream that had nothing to do with sex I just woke up all numb in my joints and lost all urges to j------- or watch p---... 60 KB JPG It's been almost an entire day and had not a single dirty thought nor had the urge to j------- or watch p---. Am I finally cured?

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Chickens :) | /r/Greentext


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Anon offers a pill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)06:45:27 No.86839844- >men have d---- so they know how to please them >men's asses are tighter then a womens AND IF YOUR DAD IS GIVING YOU PROBLEMS JUST R--- HIM p---- >men make more money S---, THAT'S WHAT AM GONNA DO >men are smarter >men often will put out more then women >men can stimulate your anus too >men look cuter then women when dressing like one 72 KB PNG Why tf havent you taken the gay pill yet anon?
: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)06:45:27 No.86839844- >men have d---- so they know how to please them >men's asses are tighter then a womens AND IF YOUR DAD IS GIVING YOU PROBLEMS JUST R--- HIM p---- >men make more money S---, THAT'S WHAT AM GONNA DO >men are smarter >men often will put out more then women >men can stimulate your anus too >men look cuter then women when dressing like one 72 KB PNG Why tf havent you taken the gay pill yet anon?

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Thought this was pretty funny when I found it. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/19(Sun)22:43:13 No.795843410 >Be me >Named chad >Hellyess.png > Don't lose virginity upon birth >mfw beta f-- for life 119 KB JPG imminent > mfw it was all a lie
: Anonymous 03/24/19(Sun)22:43:13 No.795843410 >Be me >Named chad >Hellyess.png > Don't lose virginity upon birth >mfw beta f-- for life 119 KB JPG imminent > mfw it was all a lie

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Anon is a psychopath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)10:39:24 No.66515522 >be me, 24 >on paper live good life >free country, w healthcare and opportunities >ok family, dad in jail for cp >wasnt abused tho 13 KB JPG >have good job, studying for better job >have beautiful long term GF with great family >struggled with some anxiety and depression in past but "no longer need to see psychologists" >however >constantly want to anally r--- gfs sister >walk past women and think "would r---" >fapped to pretty much every form of degeneracy you can think of >tried to quit p---, thoughts and feelings persist >hate govornment, anti establishment >cant talk to anyone about these feelings >struggle internally every day trying to control my intrusive, destructive thoughts >everyone around me thinks im "nice" and "kind" >everyone comes to me for help with fixing things, or life advice >people see me as "the dad" in friend groups We wont all make it. Once youre here youll never leave, only get better at the facade.
: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)10:39:24 No.66515522 >be me, 24 >on paper live good life >free country, w healthcare and opportunities >ok family, dad in jail for cp >wasnt abused tho 13 KB JPG >have good job, studying for better job >have beautiful long term GF with great family >struggled with some anxiety and depression in past but "no longer need to see psychologists" >however >constantly want to anally r--- gfs sister >walk past women and think "would r---" >fapped to pretty much every form of degeneracy you can think of >tried to quit p---, thoughts and feelings persist >hate govornment, anti establishment >cant talk to anyone about these feelings >struggle internally every day trying to control my intrusive, destructive thoughts >everyone around me thinks im "nice" and "kind" >everyone comes to me for help with fixing things, or life advice >people see me as "the dad" in friend groups We wont all make it. Once youre here youll never leave, only get better at the facade.

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Anon compares times | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)13:35:44 No.66516577 >Be 7th century autistic spaz >Always hang out with your father >Only enjoy smacking steel with a hammer and folding it for a 1000 times. >Invent katana 255 KB JPG >Local warlord gives you 4 wives, land, crib and a bag of gold so you can do you >All is well >Be 21st century autistic spaz >Father never around >Moma never around >Only enjoy smacking keyboard for 100k times >Get paid 60k and nothing else >Shooting happens I wonder why.
: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)13:35:44 No.66516577 >Be 7th century autistic spaz >Always hang out with your father >Only enjoy smacking steel with a hammer and folding it for a 1000 times. >Invent katana 255 KB JPG >Local warlord gives you 4 wives, land, crib and a bag of gold so you can do you >All is well >Be 21st century autistic spaz >Father never around >Moma never around >Only enjoy smacking keyboard for 100k times >Get paid 60k and nothing else >Shooting happens I wonder why.

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Suspension of disbelief | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)09:53:48 No.66517898 >Watching tv show called Mr Robot >About an anxious sperg Cyber Security consultant >Acts weird as f--- and can MR. ROBOT barely interact with others >Has sex in the first episode 245 KB JPG For f---- sake. Why does Hollywood do this s---? Any actual /r9k/ approved kinos?
: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)09:53:48 No.66517898 >Watching tv show called Mr Robot >About an anxious sperg Cyber Security consultant >Acts weird as f--- and can MR. ROBOT barely interact with others >Has sex in the first episode 245 KB JPG For f---- sake. Why does Hollywood do this s---? Any actual /r9k/ approved kinos?

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America in 2035 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)14:08:52 No.84697162 >America, 2035 >My brainchip awakes me as it releases my anti depressant smartmed™ into my bloodstream >My Amazon Alexa™ Homepod™ is broken per a failed update, I am late for breakfast TM 208 KB JPG >I dare not attempt fix the alarm as I could be accused of corporate espionage by the ethical- hacking© commission >As accrid dust from the sandstorms fill my lungs I croak "Cortana, what is the forecast for today?" >Cortana tells me that the drought will continue despite UN-BMG climate modification operations >Go to Starbuck™ feeding area, order some McDonalds maggot cubes from the vending machine, pay $¥1200 for 250ml of Nestlé™ springs nutriti water plus tip >Pay $¥12,000 to book my bed for tonight in the smartpod™ >As I finish my cubes, I hear dock Tesla bus docks to Mixed Building No. 2938 >Scan my vaccination tattoo, and rent my workspace for the day ($¥7550) to board the bus >rent my Zoom™ VR headset license for the day $¥4120 >Attend my mandatory company zoom meeting over VR, if I don't pay attention I can't get the code to leave clock out tonight >disembark the bus directly into my massive "open source workspace" full of people working for different employers >rent my Zoom™ VR workspace NFT, I am now working in virtual office TM TM | TM TM >An Ear-piercing alarm gets let me know it's lunch time, the UNM sustenance tube dispenses Amazon™ paste™ directly into my mouth >Finish shift, give mandatory blood samples >See a guy sitting outside of the office >must be a white supremacist, I rush back and call the Microsoft Protection Team who take him away for our safety >Scan my retina, blood samples, and take mandatory COVID-30 vaccination shot to unlock Airbnb™ living pod >friend lends a LaundryPass™ to Nikelean™ myself >Report her to the Airbnb™ DHS officer from PodLife™ for terrorism TM TM >Watch dozens of 5 second videos on tiktok™ >Its bedtime, the GoogleT™ neural implant puts me into the legal minimum definition of Nikesleep™ TM
: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)14:08:52 No.84697162 >America, 2035 >My brainchip awakes me as it releases my anti depressant smartmed™ into my bloodstream >My Amazon Alexa™ Homepod™ is broken per a failed update, I am late for breakfast TM 208 KB JPG >I dare not attempt fix the alarm as I could be accused of corporate espionage by the ethical- hacking© commission >As accrid dust from the sandstorms fill my lungs I croak "Cortana, what is the forecast for today?" >Cortana tells me that the drought will continue despite UN-BMG climate modification operations >Go to Starbuck™ feeding area, order some McDonalds maggot cubes from the vending machine, pay $¥1200 for 250ml of Nestlé™ springs nutriti water plus tip >Pay $¥12,000 to book my bed for tonight in the smartpod™ >As I finish my cubes, I hear dock Tesla bus docks to Mixed Building No. 2938 >Scan my vaccination tattoo, and rent my workspace for the day ($¥7550) to board the bus >rent my Zoom™ VR headset license for the day $¥4120 >Attend my mandatory company zoom meeting over VR, if I don't pay attention I can't get the code to leave clock out tonight >disembark the bus directly into my massive "open source workspace" full of people working for different employers >rent my Zoom™ VR workspace NFT, I am now working in virtual office TM TM | TM TM >An Ear-piercing alarm gets let me know it's lunch time, the UNM sustenance tube dispenses Amazon™ paste™ directly into my mouth >Finish shift, give mandatory blood samples >See a guy sitting outside of the office >must be a white supremacist, I rush back and call the Microsoft Protection Team who take him away for our safety >Scan my retina, blood samples, and take mandatory COVID-30 vaccination shot to unlock Airbnb™ living pod >friend lends a LaundryPass™ to Nikelean™ myself >Report her to the Airbnb™ DHS officer from PodLife™ for terrorism TM TM >Watch dozens of 5 second videos on tiktok™ >Its bedtime, the GoogleT™ neural implant puts me into the legal minimum definition of Nikesleep™ TM

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Anon Observing a Lone Chicken Nugget in the Field | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/19/17(Tue)20:10:38 No.44010821 244010899 2244012365 2244014352 2244016525 2244016528 2244015646 2244018752 2244019941 File: 1513709705681.jpg (157 KB, 1200x800) RRA *O Anonymous 12/19/17(Tue)20:17:00 No.44010899 >44011045 >>44011410 >44011980 >44012365 >>44016957 >>44021026 >>44010821 > The lone chicken nugget stays perfectly still within the presence of two predators. Perhaps, it thinks, if it stays still long enough the hunters will forget about it >> Anonymous 12/19/17(Tue)22:37:18 No.44012365 >44012395 >>44015951 >>44010821 >>44010899 I legitimately wonder why a chicken nugget is left. >> O Anonymous 12/20/17(Wed)04:38:03 No.44015951 >>44017094 >>44012365 >go, tell your people what happened here
Anonymous 12/19/17(Tue)20:10:38 No.44010821 244010899 2244012365 2244014352 2244016525 2244016528 2244015646 2244018752 2244019941 File: 1513709705681.jpg (157 KB, 1200x800) RRA *O Anonymous 12/19/17(Tue)20:17:00 No.44010899 >44011045 >>44011410 >44011980 >44012365 >>44016957 >>44021026 >>44010821 > The lone chicken nugget stays perfectly still within the presence of two predators. Perhaps, it thinks, if it stays still long enough the hunters will forget about it >> Anonymous 12/19/17(Tue)22:37:18 No.44012365 >44012395 >>44015951 >>44010821 >>44010899 I legitimately wonder why a chicken nugget is left. >> O Anonymous 12/20/17(Wed)04:38:03 No.44015951 >>44017094 >>44012365 >go, tell your people what happened here

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Anon perseveres | /r/Greentext

>be me >be 17 >me and my mom were very close from a young age >my mom loved to cook and she taught me many of her recipies >while cooking one day, she collapses and starts coughing up 7 KB JPG blood >doctors say its lung cancer, as my mom was a huge smoker >still cook so i dont have to face the pain im going through as it was my way of escape >while doing homework, dad comes into my room >mom died >i break down at my table for a while and decide to become a cook for her as it was always her dream >my dad never liked me cooking, always thought of it as a f----- thing. even though i told him many times i was not gay >he was never happy with me becoming a chef >used to abuse me and insult me a lot, be came mentally unstable after my mom died >but i dont care about what he says and do hotel management and culinary courses >get my degree and dad doesnt look proud of me but i can tell he is on the inside >i work hard to start a restaurant >4 years later >i have an amazing bakery bar by the beach >look at the photo of my parents i have put up there >l-I-I-|-|-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean
>be me >be 17 >me and my mom were very close from a young age >my mom loved to cook and she taught me many of her recipies >while cooking one day, she collapses and starts coughing up 7 KB JPG blood >doctors say its lung cancer, as my mom was a huge smoker >still cook so i dont have to face the pain im going through as it was my way of escape >while doing homework, dad comes into my room >mom died >i break down at my table for a while and decide to become a cook for her as it was always her dream >my dad never liked me cooking, always thought of it as a f----- thing. even though i told him many times i was not gay >he was never happy with me becoming a chef >used to abuse me and insult me a lot, be came mentally unstable after my mom died >but i dont care about what he says and do hotel management and culinary courses >get my degree and dad doesnt look proud of me but i can tell he is on the inside >i work hard to start a restaurant >4 years later >i have an amazing bakery bar by the beach >look at the photo of my parents i have put up there >l-I-I-|-|-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean

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Anon hates women | /r/Greentext

IMG_20210908_161858.jpg| 108 KB JPG >be me >wake up >women still exists > day ruined
IMG_20210908_161858.jpg| 108 KB JPG >be me >wake up >women still exists > day ruined

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anon is fucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)11:31:25 No.66516264 >sister walked in on me in the bathroom while i was jerking it >shirtless >sitting the wrong way on the toilet >wearing headphone and watching p--- 25 KB JPG >using fleshlight >whole family is conservative
: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)11:31:25 No.66516264 >sister walked in on me in the bathroom while i was jerking it >shirtless >sitting the wrong way on the toilet >wearing headphone and watching p--- 25 KB JPG >using fleshlight >whole family is conservative

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