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Anon uncovers the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)21:19:38 No.64234583 Imagine if everyone else other than you on this board is actually a normie in real life and they were just playing along with the r9k Damy stock photo culture >what are you doing anon? >oh it's just this funny internet 128 KB JPG meme where we pretend to be virgins haha. >what? Why would you do that? >its just funny. We make fun of each other but we all know we are all just lying >look at this guy! Haha! He's saying he's 25 year old kissless virgin? >What? Does that kind of person even exist? >of course not. They are just saying it as a meme. here let me reply to him >'same. I am 5'6 and ugly. It's over for me. I cant even afford plastic surgery.' >Anon just come to the bed with me >yea yea. after just one more post lol
: Anonymous 06/20/21(Sun)21:19:38 No.64234583 Imagine if everyone else other than you on this board is actually a normie in real life and they were just playing along with the r9k Damy stock photo culture >what are you doing anon? >oh it's just this funny internet 128 KB JPG meme where we pretend to be virgins haha. >what? Why would you do that? >its just funny. We make fun of each other but we all know we are all just lying >look at this guy! Haha! He's saying he's 25 year old kissless virgin? >What? Does that kind of person even exist? >of course not. They are just saying it as a meme. here let me reply to him >'same. I am 5'6 and ugly. It's over for me. I cant even afford plastic surgery.' >Anon just come to the bed with me >yea yea. after just one more post lol

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Anon is ready to get topped now. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)13:22:56 No.66528839 >find cute, average looking girl on Tinder we share several obscure interests with, going by our bios >get excited, swipe right on her >48 hoursl later, we still haven't matched 35 KB JPG She swiped left on me, didn't she? Even an average woman l'd mesh well with would rather get pumped and dumped by a Chad that she has no common ground with. God, I hate women so f------ much. : Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)13:24:16 No.66528853 >inb4 the algorithm is hiding your profile from her соре
: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)13:22:56 No.66528839 >find cute, average looking girl on Tinder we share several obscure interests with, going by our bios >get excited, swipe right on her >48 hoursl later, we still haven't matched 35 KB JPG She swiped left on me, didn't she? Even an average woman l'd mesh well with would rather get pumped and dumped by a Chad that she has no common ground with. God, I hate women so f------ much. : Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)13:24:16 No.66528853 >inb4 the algorithm is hiding your profile from her соре

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Anon is Handsome | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Thank you, drunk lady 10/14/21(Thu)13:15:51 No.65759683 >Be me, 2 years ago >Unlocking my Bike at 3:30am, ready to go home after a night out >Notice a girl coming walking out of the bar, visibly drunk AF. >She stop right next to me, and yell (HOLLY S--- YOURE HANDSOME!!).mp3 69 KB JPG >Ask if she want to come home with me >Says no because she have a bf but she still wanted to let me know that Im handsome >BF arrive (Whats goin on?).mp3 >Her (Look hes handsome).mp3 >BF look at me (Yeah he is).mp3 >They walk away >Even tho they probably only said that because she was drunk and her bf just went along with it, It still make me feel good to this day. >Thank you, drunk lady!
: Anonymous Thank you, drunk lady 10/14/21(Thu)13:15:51 No.65759683 >Be me, 2 years ago >Unlocking my Bike at 3:30am, ready to go home after a night out >Notice a girl coming walking out of the bar, visibly drunk AF. >She stop right next to me, and yell (HOLLY S--- YOURE HANDSOME!!).mp3 69 KB JPG >Ask if she want to come home with me >Says no because she have a bf but she still wanted to let me know that Im handsome >BF arrive (Whats goin on?).mp3 >Her (Look hes handsome).mp3 >BF look at me (Yeah he is).mp3 >They walk away >Even tho they probably only said that because she was drunk and her bf just went along with it, It still make me feel good to this day. >Thank you, drunk lady!

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Balls to the wall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:42:44 No.66533365 >DID YOU SEE THE GAME LAST NIGH- no I did not. why the f--- are normies so obsessed with sportsball? It's gay as f--- 242 KB PNG >00H BOY I LOVE WATCHING THE BIG MUSCULAR MEN THROW AROUND THE PIGSKIN, AHHH I'M GONNA C-- WATCHING THEIR BIG SWEATY BODIES
: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:42:44 No.66533365 >DID YOU SEE THE GAME LAST NIGH- no I did not. why the f--- are normies so obsessed with sportsball? It's gay as f--- 242 KB PNG >00H BOY I LOVE WATCHING THE BIG MUSCULAR MEN THROW AROUND THE PIGSKIN, AHHH I'M GONNA C-- WATCHING THEIR BIG SWEATY BODIES

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Golden years | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:26:21 No.66533158 >install Happn two days ago >match with a shitload of 35-38yo single women >some of the look pretty good >got 5 numbers within a day >just avoid steering the convo into the direction of sex LET THE GOOÐ TIMES ROLL 1.3 MB PNG >avoid making cheap sexual innuendo's like most c---- do >eventually they figure I'm not after sex specifically and they invite me over >f----- one the same evening >set up 3 dates for next week >they're all chill and just want to hang out without any strings attached >watch Formula 1 with one today while she massages my shoulders and brings food >f--- her afterwards to celebrate AMX's victory Why the f--- did no one tell me about this? : Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:28:39 No.66533186 >>66533158 (OP) # I'm not downloading your s----- app, shill
: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:26:21 No.66533158 >install Happn two days ago >match with a shitload of 35-38yo single women >some of the look pretty good >got 5 numbers within a day >just avoid steering the convo into the direction of sex LET THE GOOÐ TIMES ROLL 1.3 MB PNG >avoid making cheap sexual innuendo's like most c---- do >eventually they figure I'm not after sex specifically and they invite me over >f----- one the same evening >set up 3 dates for next week >they're all chill and just want to hang out without any strings attached >watch Formula 1 with one today while she massages my shoulders and brings food >f--- her afterwards to celebrate AMX's victory Why the f--- did no one tell me about this? : Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)11:28:39 No.66533186 >>66533158 (OP) # I'm not downloading your s----- app, shill

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Anon has small pp energy | /r/Greentext

>be tall >have big pp >5/10 face >1/10 personality >never get any girls 105 KB JPG What am I supposed to do, go around telling women I have a big d---? Where did this notion come from that tall guys with big d---- can get laid easily? Why does hollywood promote this idea so much??
>be tall >have big pp >5/10 face >1/10 personality >never get any girls 105 KB JPG What am I supposed to do, go around telling women I have a big d---? Where did this notion come from that tall guys with big d---- can get laid easily? Why does hollywood promote this idea so much??

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Anon Cringes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)22:21:03 No.864910750 survival stories thread >be me >depressed, suicidal >make plan to kill myself >get everything ready, set date >day comes 18 KB JPG >write long and heartfelt suicide note >leave for an hour or so >come back >read suicide note >think it's cringe >think suicide is cringe >don't kill myself >next day start working out >ffw 1 year, have hot girlfriend and stable job >ffe 15 years l'm married, have a daughter and another baby on the way >all thanks to thinking my gay-ass letter was cringe
: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)22:21:03 No.864910750 survival stories thread >be me >depressed, suicidal >make plan to kill myself >get everything ready, set date >day comes 18 KB JPG >write long and heartfelt suicide note >leave for an hour or so >come back >read suicide note >think it's cringe >think suicide is cringe >don't kill myself >next day start working out >ffw 1 year, have hot girlfriend and stable job >ffe 15 years l'm married, have a daughter and another baby on the way >all thanks to thinking my gay-ass letter was cringe

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Anon hates being called Larold | /r/Greentext


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Twist and shout | /r/Greentext


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Anon meets the least insane vr chat users | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)07:54:33 No.66527675 >be me >board one night >log onto VR Chat to see what other people on the internet are like >join a world that's called 'chill and movies' or some s--- 5 KB JPG >"Seems ok." >expect to maybe meet some people and have nice conversations >get into world >the walls are covered in pictures of people in edgy anime and cat-boy/girl avatars >"This is just one room right?" >walk further in >it's everywhere >so many pictures of e-couples who will never meet >find people >come across a couple moaning to each-other (probably while masturbating) >there's more people doing similar things and just overall be weird as f--- >get uncomfortable out and alt-f4 the f--- out of there >uninstall game >never try socializing with random people online again unless it's with friends Is everyone like this on there? Is that what a degenerate looks like? Why are people like this?
: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)07:54:33 No.66527675 >be me >board one night >log onto VR Chat to see what other people on the internet are like >join a world that's called 'chill and movies' or some s--- 5 KB JPG >"Seems ok." >expect to maybe meet some people and have nice conversations >get into world >the walls are covered in pictures of people in edgy anime and cat-boy/girl avatars >"This is just one room right?" >walk further in >it's everywhere >so many pictures of e-couples who will never meet >find people >come across a couple moaning to each-other (probably while masturbating) >there's more people doing similar things and just overall be weird as f--- >get uncomfortable out and alt-f4 the f--- out of there >uninstall game >never try socializing with random people online again unless it's with friends Is everyone like this on there? Is that what a degenerate looks like? Why are people like this?

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Anon farts on a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)20:33:56 No.868434403 >be me >coworker goes around making jokes >everyone laughs >he farts on people >they laugh >idea.jpg >l fart on the girl I like (she laughs when he does it) THE AMBALAMPS Bring them 866 KB PNG >she calls me disgusting Why? 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)20:33:56 No.868434403 >be me >coworker goes around making jokes >everyone laughs >he farts on people >they laugh >idea.jpg >l fart on the girl I like (she laughs when he does it) THE AMBALAMPS Bring them 866 KB PNG >she calls me disgusting Why? 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon disappoints his father | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/18(Fri)19:43:41 No.43426628 >be me around 5pm >Dad comes home from construction job >sees me sitting at computer still in dressing gown with naruto hat >let's out the longest sigh ever and goes to his room and shut's door 64 KB JPG >mfw 11 Replies / 1 lImage View Thread
: Anonymous 02/23/18(Fri)19:43:41 No.43426628 >be me around 5pm >Dad comes home from construction job >sees me sitting at computer still in dressing gown with naruto hat >let's out the longest sigh ever and goes to his room and shut's door 64 KB JPG >mfw 11 Replies / 1 lImage View Thread

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Anon tries to post | /r/Greentext


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Anon may or may not have | /r/Greentext


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Anon is sed and broke. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a pro | /r/Greentext


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Anon's Spiderbro: Part II | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: IN9PRGWE) 02/26/12(Sun)01:02:27 No.383507640 and another tiem >bring home random semi attractive girl from the bar >both of us s-------- >about to f--- >she screams and grabs her left boob >see spiderbro scurry away >she gets mad and leaves >spiderbro u f------ cockblocker > find out a week later that she had the AIDS >spiderbro now has the AIDS >spiderbro gave his life for me >what a bro and he gets skinnier ever day
Anonymous (ID: IN9PRGWE) 02/26/12(Sun)01:02:27 No.383507640 and another tiem >bring home random semi attractive girl from the bar >both of us s-------- >about to f--- >she screams and grabs her left boob >see spiderbro scurry away >she gets mad and leaves >spiderbro u f------ cockblocker > find out a week later that she had the AIDS >spiderbro now has the AIDS >spiderbro gave his life for me >what a bro and he gets skinnier ever day

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Old but gold | /r/Greentext

File: 1376421194696.jpg-(1.56 MB, 2448x3264, image.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: zri23dQ1) 08/13/13(Tue)15:13:14 No.499550295 Replies: >>499550661 >>499551303 >499551374 >>499551564 >>499551673 >>499551825 >Be 25 year old American >go to Germany, first time in Europe >plane lands, I applaud. >In german airport, take off shoes, pants, leave 3 oz sample of blood, semen in quart sized ziploc >"sir, you don't need to do that. Just walk through the metal detector" >"sorry, nicht spriche deutsch" >"sir, i am speaking english. >Go directly through metal detector, do not get irradiated, do not get groped by TSA.monopoly >Tip the security guard 5 Euro because that is the smallest paper money Spend the first day in Frankfurt. Frankfurt is a great city because there is nothing to do so literally anywhere else you go is great. >Walk to train station >lots of foreigners around, can't hear any english >walk with hand in back pocket to protect wallet >keep other hand in side pocket to protect phone. >Unable to operate ticket machine. Language options are Union Jack, Deutsch Flag, and France. >Get on train without ticket. >Gestapo officers in uniform comes up to me >"Morgen, karte bitte" >"I'm not Morgan." >"Apologies, Good Morning, ticket, please." >"Nicht spriche deutch" >"Sir, I speak english.' >Can't understand his crazy nazimouth, tip him $30 Euro to leave me alone. >He tips me back for being a cool American. >Train arrives in Munich. Begin applauding. >Nobody claps, don't want to ruin my solid American applause. >tip every passenger for letting me solo. >Get rental car. >Too many pedals. >Walk to MacDonalds to get order Double Quarter Pounder. >F------ idiot gives me wrong meal, end up with Hamburger Royale Kasse >Only tip him 30% >use burger to weigh down extra pedal >car rolls backwards into river. >applaud the whole way in.
File: 1376421194696.jpg-(1.56 MB, 2448x3264, image.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: zri23dQ1) 08/13/13(Tue)15:13:14 No.499550295 Replies: >>499550661 >>499551303 >499551374 >>499551564 >>499551673 >>499551825 >Be 25 year old American >go to Germany, first time in Europe >plane lands, I applaud. >In german airport, take off shoes, pants, leave 3 oz sample of blood, semen in quart sized ziploc >"sir, you don't need to do that. Just walk through the metal detector" >"sorry, nicht spriche deutsch" >"sir, i am speaking english. >Go directly through metal detector, do not get irradiated, do not get groped by TSA.monopoly >Tip the security guard 5 Euro because that is the smallest paper money Spend the first day in Frankfurt. Frankfurt is a great city because there is nothing to do so literally anywhere else you go is great. >Walk to train station >lots of foreigners around, can't hear any english >walk with hand in back pocket to protect wallet >keep other hand in side pocket to protect phone. >Unable to operate ticket machine. Language options are Union Jack, Deutsch Flag, and France. >Get on train without ticket. >Gestapo officers in uniform comes up to me >"Morgen, karte bitte" >"I'm not Morgan." >"Apologies, Good Morning, ticket, please." >"Nicht spriche deutch" >"Sir, I speak english.' >Can't understand his crazy nazimouth, tip him $30 Euro to leave me alone. >He tips me back for being a cool American. >Train arrives in Munich. Begin applauding. >Nobody claps, don't want to ruin my solid American applause. >tip every passenger for letting me solo. >Get rental car. >Too many pedals. >Walk to MacDonalds to get order Double Quarter Pounder. >F------ idiot gives me wrong meal, end up with Hamburger Royale Kasse >Only tip him 30% >use burger to weigh down extra pedal >car rolls backwards into river. >applaud the whole way in.

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Anon is poor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/10/19(Sun)21:11:45 No.51389710 >be me an hour ago >Working minimum wage >GF wants pizza >Have a $5 and some quarters >Go to local pizza shop >Order 8 KB JPG >Only $10 >Fuckyeah.jpg >Go to pay >Start pulling out quarters >Last few are stuck wrapped up in my pocket >Struggling >Sweating.jpg >Owner walks over >"Just give him the pizza he needs it" >Tell him I can give him the money >"No no bless your soul you can keep it" >Leave with pizza >Mfw he thought I was homeless What do, do I never go back or just tip him next time I go in
: Anonymous 03/10/19(Sun)21:11:45 No.51389710 >be me an hour ago >Working minimum wage >GF wants pizza >Have a $5 and some quarters >Go to local pizza shop >Order 8 KB JPG >Only $10 >Fuckyeah.jpg >Go to pay >Start pulling out quarters >Last few are stuck wrapped up in my pocket >Struggling >Sweating.jpg >Owner walks over >"Just give him the pizza he needs it" >Tell him I can give him the money >"No no bless your soul you can keep it" >Leave with pizza >Mfw he thought I was homeless What do, do I never go back or just tip him next time I go in

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found in this is | /r/Greentext

>kanye west replaces zayn in one direction >kanye kicks everyone out of the band >"there's only one direction 51 KB JPG fam" >tfw it's west
>kanye west replaces zayn in one direction >kanye kicks everyone out of the band >"there's only one direction 51 KB JPG fam" >tfw it's west

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