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Anon has a revelation. | /r/Greentext

File: static-assets-upload67777(.).jpg (14 KB, 312x245) O Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)20:22:27 No.868537962 [Reply] >humans start out in Africa >humanity expands across the world >whites dominate economically, technologically, and militaristically >Africans live in mud huts and execute you for not being black enough Explain
File: static-assets-upload67777(.).jpg (14 KB, 312x245) O Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)20:22:27 No.868537962 [Reply] >humans start out in Africa >humanity expands across the world >whites dominate economically, technologically, and militaristically >Africans live in mud huts and execute you for not being black enough Explain

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Anon talks about the garfield-phone beach | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)13:35:44 No.124703397 >Be a small town in France >Beach keeps getting littered by Garfield phones for 30 years >Scuba diver finally locates an old shipping container underwater that got caught between rocks decades ago, filled with Garfield phones that keep washing out to 43 KB JPG shore >Government says it's too expensive to remove, they'd rather just let you deal with it >Estimates say you have 50 more years of Garfield phones to go 17 Replies : Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)14:11:47 No.124704214 >>124703397 (OP) # >50 more years of Garfield phones to go This truly is a Monday moment
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)13:35:44 No.124703397 >Be a small town in France >Beach keeps getting littered by Garfield phones for 30 years >Scuba diver finally locates an old shipping container underwater that got caught between rocks decades ago, filled with Garfield phones that keep washing out to 43 KB JPG shore >Government says it's too expensive to remove, they'd rather just let you deal with it >Estimates say you have 50 more years of Garfield phones to go 17 Replies : Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)14:11:47 No.124704214 >>124703397 (OP) # >50 more years of Garfield phones to go This truly is a Monday moment

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anon fails to be a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/18(Tue)12:49:54 No.45755456 YgmcQiK.jpg 46 KB JPG >try to get a Chad haircut >comes out looking like pic related What the f--- am I doing wrong? I went to a proper hair stylist that cost $100. Should I shave it all off?
: Anonymous 05/29/18(Tue)12:49:54 No.45755456 YgmcQiK.jpg 46 KB JPG >try to get a Chad haircut >comes out looking like pic related What the f--- am I doing wrong? I went to a proper hair stylist that cost $100. Should I shave it all off?

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Anon is doomed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/05/18(Sun)00:58:33 No >one shot at life >born in india As a female R--- FACE ACTIVATED 42 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/05/18(Sun)00:58:33 No >one shot at life >born in india As a female R--- FACE ACTIVATED 42 KB JPG

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Anon orders a martini | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/11/21(Wed)12:02:40 No.860817517 > Go to bar > Sit down in front of the bar tender > "T'Il have a vodka martini, dry, on the rocks, with three olives please" > "We're out of dry. Will wet work?" > wat.wav > "What the f---? Just put some of the olive juice in my martini." 38 KB JPG > "Sir, I don't think you understand. Our shipment of dry hasn't come in yet" > I'm confused as s--- > Just stare at the bartender > Bartender turns into a FNAF jumpscare >I fall off of my stool > Be me > wake up > in bed piss on my sheets and undies I think I might be 11 again, /b/
Anonymous 08/11/21(Wed)12:02:40 No.860817517 > Go to bar > Sit down in front of the bar tender > "T'Il have a vodka martini, dry, on the rocks, with three olives please" > "We're out of dry. Will wet work?" > wat.wav > "What the f---? Just put some of the olive juice in my martini." 38 KB JPG > "Sir, I don't think you understand. Our shipment of dry hasn't come in yet" > I'm confused as s--- > Just stare at the bartender > Bartender turns into a FNAF jumpscare >I fall off of my stool > Be me > wake up > in bed piss on my sheets and undies I think I might be 11 again, /b/

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Anon asks a girl out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: tYaXe+g 05/07/19(Tue)19:07:41 No.7985999 >be me >kissless virgin >have crush on qt3.14 >she's really quiet and a little awkward like me >prom.jpg >ask her out like the autist that I am 22 KB JPG >she says yes >happiness.mp4 >great time at prom >drop her off at her house >lean in for kiss >success >fast forward a few days >kiss her again and this time she hugs me back >very tender hug >realize she really likes me Feels good man
: Anonymous (ID: tYaXe+g 05/07/19(Tue)19:07:41 No.7985999 >be me >kissless virgin >have crush on qt3.14 >she's really quiet and a little awkward like me >prom.jpg >ask her out like the autist that I am 22 KB JPG >she says yes >happiness.mp4 >great time at prom >drop her off at her house >lean in for kiss >success >fast forward a few days >kiss her again and this time she hugs me back >very tender hug >realize she really likes me Feels good man

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Anon is american | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)10:41:30 No.868581759 >be my psycho loser dad >collects all the expired food >places it all on a table in his backyard >shoots it to s--- with double ought bucks >nacho cheese, ham, franks, and other food items all over the yard 55 KB JPG >birds come and eat it >shoots them too >l wanna move away from this life to Denmark 90 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)10:41:30 No.868581759 >be my psycho loser dad >collects all the expired food >places it all on a table in his backyard >shoots it to s--- with double ought bucks >nacho cheese, ham, franks, and other food items all over the yard 55 KB JPG >birds come and eat it >shoots them too >l wanna move away from this life to Denmark 90 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Anon gains inside knowledge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)09:56:30 No.66061441 >be me >with grandma >she's watching big bang theory >such s--- >woman on tv says to guy "find out what cologne her father wears if you want to have coitus with her" 1.45 MB PNG >hmm >been hanging out with this one girl who's really close with her father >met her dad before so I ask him what cologne he uses >tells me and I get the same one and use it >takes 5 days before me and girl have sex >it was her first time >mega virgin sitcom got me laid All in a days work
: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)09:56:30 No.66061441 >be me >with grandma >she's watching big bang theory >such s--- >woman on tv says to guy "find out what cologne her father wears if you want to have coitus with her" 1.45 MB PNG >hmm >been hanging out with this one girl who's really close with her father >met her dad before so I ask him what cologne he uses >tells me and I get the same one and use it >takes 5 days before me and girl have sex >it was her first time >mega virgin sitcom got me laid All in a days work

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Anon is a Pedophile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)17:22:25 No.868560593 >be me >22 yo wagie >be lolicon >tfw no IRL loli gf >currently working on plans on how to find a perfect loli to ask out 922 KB PNG Do girls like it when someone calls them pretty and then immediately asks them on a date? I just want a virgin gf who will honestly love me for who I am /b/. Any tips on how to find just a virgin gf who will do that? : Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)17:24:59 No.868560732 Idk made man your kind of sussy reminds me of a lot of Twitter users made if you what I'm talking you might be then look in prison. >>868560921 # : Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)17:28:09 No.868560921 >>868560732 # Anon...I'm just lonely, relax. 128 KB JPG Besides, l'll treat my loli teen gf right and make sure to comfort her and tell her she means the world to me. I could help build her up and make her into a better person.
: Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)17:22:25 No.868560593 >be me >22 yo wagie >be lolicon >tfw no IRL loli gf >currently working on plans on how to find a perfect loli to ask out 922 KB PNG Do girls like it when someone calls them pretty and then immediately asks them on a date? I just want a virgin gf who will honestly love me for who I am /b/. Any tips on how to find just a virgin gf who will do that? : Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)17:24:59 No.868560732 Idk made man your kind of sussy reminds me of a lot of Twitter users made if you what I'm talking you might be then look in prison. >>868560921 # : Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)17:28:09 No.868560921 >>868560732 # Anon...I'm just lonely, relax. 128 KB JPG Besides, l'll treat my loli teen gf right and make sure to comfort her and tell her she means the world to me. I could help build her up and make her into a better person.

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Anons daily routine | /r/Greentext

13:13 : Anonymous Daily Routine 12/13/21(Mon)14:39:20 No.64733831 What is your daily routine look like? 12 11 1 Here's mine. 10 -6- 3- 5:00 AM - Rise .8 4. 5. 5:02 AM - Piss 5:30 AM - Finish pissing and brush teeth with activated charcoal (not 60 KB JPG toothpaste) 5:33 AM - Cold Shower (below freezing temp) 5:33 AM - Step out of shower and shake body like a dog 5:34 AM - Arrive at gym and ingest 700 mg caffeine and eat whole chicken (alive) 5:45 AM - Lift (full body, 40 Sets of 2 half-reps) 7:30 AM - Send a Bomb Threat to a Orphanage 8:00 AM - Clock into shift at my job (the gym) 8:10 AM - Ignore customers and lift (full body, 40 sets of 2 half-reps) %3D 9:55 AM - Clock out of work 10:00 AM - Bomb Orphanage 10:15 AM - Arrive home and speed read Dr. Seuss books 5:00 PM - Dinner (green tea and a pack of cigarettes) 5:30 PM - Listen to ASMR and edge for three hours 8:30 PM - Play chess against the man that lives in my walls 9:00 PM - F--- bitches (several) 12:00 AM - Go for a midnight run (chasing women) 1:00 AM - Edge for 3 hours 4:00 AM - Boiling hot shower 4:55 AM - Sleep
13:13 : Anonymous Daily Routine 12/13/21(Mon)14:39:20 No.64733831 What is your daily routine look like? 12 11 1 Here's mine. 10 -6- 3- 5:00 AM - Rise .8 4. 5. 5:02 AM - Piss 5:30 AM - Finish pissing and brush teeth with activated charcoal (not 60 KB JPG toothpaste) 5:33 AM - Cold Shower (below freezing temp) 5:33 AM - Step out of shower and shake body like a dog 5:34 AM - Arrive at gym and ingest 700 mg caffeine and eat whole chicken (alive) 5:45 AM - Lift (full body, 40 Sets of 2 half-reps) 7:30 AM - Send a Bomb Threat to a Orphanage 8:00 AM - Clock into shift at my job (the gym) 8:10 AM - Ignore customers and lift (full body, 40 sets of 2 half-reps) %3D 9:55 AM - Clock out of work 10:00 AM - Bomb Orphanage 10:15 AM - Arrive home and speed read Dr. Seuss books 5:00 PM - Dinner (green tea and a pack of cigarettes) 5:30 PM - Listen to ASMR and edge for three hours 8:30 PM - Play chess against the man that lives in my walls 9:00 PM - F--- bitches (several) 12:00 AM - Go for a midnight run (chasing women) 1:00 AM - Edge for 3 hours 4:00 AM - Boiling hot shower 4:55 AM - Sleep

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Anon is an idiot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: amdEMrT3 ) 08/22/21(Sun)19:52:04 No.335645669 >lost virginity a month ago to some tinder sloot >she was super cute but obviously a total w---- >didn't wear a condom because you guys told me that was a Jewish psyop and straight people can't get aids 750 KB PNG >haven't kept in contact with her since >be me just now >she texts me she's pregnant with a positive pregnancy test I haven't responded yet, wat do?
: Anonymous (ID: amdEMrT3 ) 08/22/21(Sun)19:52:04 No.335645669 >lost virginity a month ago to some tinder sloot >she was super cute but obviously a total w---- >didn't wear a condom because you guys told me that was a Jewish psyop and straight people can't get aids 750 KB PNG >haven't kept in contact with her since >be me just now >she texts me she's pregnant with a positive pregnancy test I haven't responded yet, wat do?

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Anon has a dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/12/18(Sun)00:33:07 No.776903141 >am black >hate blacks >what do 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/12/18(Sun)00:35:47 No.776903354 >>776903141 (OP) # >Problem solved 42 KB JPG >>776903484 # 100
: Anonymous 08/12/18(Sun)00:33:07 No.776903141 >am black >hate blacks >what do 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/12/18(Sun)00:35:47 No.776903354 >>776903141 (OP) # >Problem solved 42 KB JPG >>776903484 # 100

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Anon is asked a question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)10:47:00 No.64832175 Would you date this girl if she was real and confessed her feelings to you? 892 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)10:57:23 No.64832301 >>64832175 (OP) # Does she know how to make a grilled cheese 20 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)10:47:00 No.64832175 Would you date this girl if she was real and confessed her feelings to you? 892 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/04/21(Wed)10:57:23 No.64832301 >>64832175 (OP) # Does she know how to make a grilled cheese 20 KB JPG

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Anon is a bottom | /r/Greentext


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Anon likes his teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)15:28:59 No.868544943 >868541122 (OP) # >Be me in 4th grade >Fall in love with teacher who is 10/10 italian 93 KB JPG >Feels tingle in pants every time I see her >Tells teacher every day I love her >Teacher admonishes of our age difference but doesn't tell me to stop >Stays after school to help clean her turtle tank and clap the erasers >Parents start to be concerned about me coming home later after class and comes to the school >Teacher tells parents how much of a helpful, good, and smart boy I am >After a few months of staying after teacher finally gives me a ride home instead of walking because of bad weather >Keeps telling teacher on the way home I love her >Teacher thanks me but ignores the implications of what I'm saying >Teacher pulls up to my home and doesn't say anything >l break the silence and says see you tomorrow >Teacher is curiously quiet and finally says if only you were older >Teacher runs her hand from my knee up to my privates, but stops herself >Teacher apologizes and says goodbye
: Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)15:28:59 No.868544943 >868541122 (OP) # >Be me in 4th grade >Fall in love with teacher who is 10/10 italian 93 KB JPG >Feels tingle in pants every time I see her >Tells teacher every day I love her >Teacher admonishes of our age difference but doesn't tell me to stop >Stays after school to help clean her turtle tank and clap the erasers >Parents start to be concerned about me coming home later after class and comes to the school >Teacher tells parents how much of a helpful, good, and smart boy I am >After a few months of staying after teacher finally gives me a ride home instead of walking because of bad weather >Keeps telling teacher on the way home I love her >Teacher thanks me but ignores the implications of what I'm saying >Teacher pulls up to my home and doesn't say anything >l break the silence and says see you tomorrow >Teacher is curiously quiet and finally says if only you were older >Teacher runs her hand from my knee up to my privates, but stops herself >Teacher apologizes and says goodbye

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Anon attempts suicide | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)00:18:25 No.778520043 >Attempt suicide with Helium gas >Dad busts in; removes mask >"Son, why?!" >Reply in chipmunk voice >"LIFE IS PAIN" >he starts laughing 148 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)00:18:25 No.778520043 >Attempt suicide with Helium gas >Dad busts in; removes mask >"Son, why?!" >Reply in chipmunk voice >"LIFE IS PAIN" >he starts laughing 148 KB JPG

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Don’t want my ass to prolapse | /r/Greentext

12/13/21(Mon)14:42:09 No.25474123 I recently asked my wife if she'd ever be interested in p------ me and she was very excited to do it. For the past couple of months, every time we have sex, she has squeezed my ass or lightly fingered/rubbed my a------ and told me how badly she wants to f--- me. Some of the s--- she says during these occasions really turns me on, like when she calls me a c----addicted slut or asks 389 KB PNG me if I want to be "the girl for a change," but l've procrastinated on buying her a strapon. I think post-but clarity may be the thing preventing me from making the purchase, but do you guys think p------ is detrimental to your health in any way? Is it a slippery slope to becoming trans? The only thing I've had up my ass is my wife's finger and it's gotten to a point where she's so fascinated with stimulating my prostate that she doesn't even care about regular sex anymore, and I can't complain. I mainly don't want my ass to prolapse or to become gay in any way 18 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
12/13/21(Mon)14:42:09 No.25474123 I recently asked my wife if she'd ever be interested in p------ me and she was very excited to do it. For the past couple of months, every time we have sex, she has squeezed my ass or lightly fingered/rubbed my a------ and told me how badly she wants to f--- me. Some of the s--- she says during these occasions really turns me on, like when she calls me a c----addicted slut or asks 389 KB PNG me if I want to be "the girl for a change," but l've procrastinated on buying her a strapon. I think post-but clarity may be the thing preventing me from making the purchase, but do you guys think p------ is detrimental to your health in any way? Is it a slippery slope to becoming trans? The only thing I've had up my ass is my wife's finger and it's gotten to a point where she's so fascinated with stimulating my prostate that she doesn't even care about regular sex anymore, and I can't complain. I mainly don't want my ass to prolapse or to become gay in any way 18 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon has a gamer epiphany | /r/Greentext

>playing video game, enjoying it somewhat >start thinking about all I do is play video games and never leave the house for most of my 20s >turn off game and go to bed
>playing video game, enjoying it somewhat >start thinking about all I do is play video games and never leave the house for most of my 20s >turn off game and go to bed

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Anon does an IQ test | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)17:02:31 No.778151892 >friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw 59 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)17:02:31 No.778151892 >friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw 59 KB PNG

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Anon is fat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous08/29/18(Wed)07:45:31 No.47810294 >be me >24yo anon >meet girl on tinder >she's super cute >possiblegf.jpeg >not sure what a 9/10 is 59 KB PNG doing with me >i'm a total 3/10 >have amazing sex >afterwards ask her what my appeal was >"oh my stepdad was really fat so it's sort of my fetish" >mfw
: Anonymous08/29/18(Wed)07:45:31 No.47810294 >be me >24yo anon >meet girl on tinder >she's super cute >possiblegf.jpeg >not sure what a 9/10 is 59 KB PNG doing with me >i'm a total 3/10 >have amazing sex >afterwards ask her what my appeal was >"oh my stepdad was really fat so it's sort of my fetish" >mfw

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