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this one is wild | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.627025189 16 minutes ago Got a story for ya. I'm not good at writing so bear with me. Ceci nest pas une pen >A girl I knew in school was a total attention w----. >Never arrived to class on time and always made sure to make a huge fuss about it. >Didn't talk to her all that much but I did have a few conversations with her >Her wrists had cuts and burns all over them, she wore t shirts so she never hid them >l asked her why she was hurting herself like that >She said "No one loves me and my life is painful" etc etc >"No one loves you?" What about your parents or your boyfriend? >Answer she gave me was something like "They don't really love me" or some s--- >Made a point not to interact with her too much after that, because she's an attention w---- >End of the school year she came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere with her that Sunday >I'm not good with these situations so l couldn't say no even though I didn't like her >Sunday came and we went to the top of one of those tower car parks >Just as we got to the top she told me that she wanted me to be here as a witness to her suicide >Oh s---, I thought, she was going to jump and she was going to force me to watch >Had I known she was going to do this s--- i would never have gone with her >Not watching uniess you do a flip, I said that to try and shock her into realizing this was stupid >Complete shock was written all over her face. She had thought l'd try to stop her >Ehh?! A-aren't you going to try to stop me? >Nah, go ahead. If you really wanted to live you'd stop yourself. >After a while she got down off the edge She walked up to me afterwards and tried to hug me with tears in her eyes but I told her I loved someone else. She asked me who and I told her to read the first letter of every line. 3 replies
Anonymous No.627025189 16 minutes ago Got a story for ya. I'm not good at writing so bear with me. Ceci nest pas une pen >A girl I knew in school was a total attention w----. >Never arrived to class on time and always made sure to make a huge fuss about it. >Didn't talk to her all that much but I did have a few conversations with her >Her wrists had cuts and burns all over them, she wore t shirts so she never hid them >l asked her why she was hurting herself like that >She said "No one loves me and my life is painful" etc etc >"No one loves you?" What about your parents or your boyfriend? >Answer she gave me was something like "They don't really love me" or some s--- >Made a point not to interact with her too much after that, because she's an attention w---- >End of the school year she came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere with her that Sunday >I'm not good with these situations so l couldn't say no even though I didn't like her >Sunday came and we went to the top of one of those tower car parks >Just as we got to the top she told me that she wanted me to be here as a witness to her suicide >Oh s---, I thought, she was going to jump and she was going to force me to watch >Had I known she was going to do this s--- i would never have gone with her >Not watching uniess you do a flip, I said that to try and shock her into realizing this was stupid >Complete shock was written all over her face. She had thought l'd try to stop her >Ehh?! A-aren't you going to try to stop me? >Nah, go ahead. If you really wanted to live you'd stop yourself. >After a while she got down off the edge She walked up to me afterwards and tried to hug me with tears in her eyes but I told her I loved someone else. She asked me who and I told her to read the first letter of every line. 3 replies

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Anon meets "that guy" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/21(Sat)21:22:46 No.844438848 >at the zoo >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins >guy in the background screams 244 KB PNG "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zoo >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling View Thread
: Anonymous 01/09/21(Sat)21:22:46 No.844438848 >at the zoo >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins >guy in the background screams 244 KB PNG "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zoo >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling View Thread

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Anon looks like a gay Neanderthal | /r/Greentext


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Anon is original | /r/Greentext


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Anon prefers the old fashion way | /r/Greentext

>had sex with my bf last night >sort of >he's very against "sluts" >thinks women should be virgins bla bla >so whatever i lied >anyway he was the worst lay i 8 KB JPG ever had in my life >d--- was small yes but i've had small guys who made up for it in other ways >he f----- me for about 20 minutes >on and off because he didn't have stamina and needed to rest a bunch >it became clear he wasn't going to come from intercourse >told him to just j------- >so he grabs his c--- ridiculously tight like he was trying to strangle it >shouts "mommy" as he comes >mfw
>had sex with my bf last night >sort of >he's very against "sluts" >thinks women should be virgins bla bla >so whatever i lied >anyway he was the worst lay i 8 KB JPG ever had in my life >d--- was small yes but i've had small guys who made up for it in other ways >he f----- me for about 20 minutes >on and off because he didn't have stamina and needed to rest a bunch >it became clear he wasn't going to come from intercourse >told him to just j------- >so he grabs his c--- ridiculously tight like he was trying to strangle it >shouts "mommy" as he comes >mfw

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Anon got famous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)23:28:08 No.66580231 >there are pictures of my cross dressing on imagefap from 8 years ago >people have captioned them Oh no no no people are literally editing and fapping to me when I was a barely legal trap bros and somehow I'm still a virgin 151 KB PNG 13 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)00:02:57 No.66580633 >>66580231 (OP) # Post them you virgin f--- >>66580698 # >>66580861 #
: Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)23:28:08 No.66580231 >there are pictures of my cross dressing on imagefap from 8 years ago >people have captioned them Oh no no no people are literally editing and fapping to me when I was a barely legal trap bros and somehow I'm still a virgin 151 KB PNG 13 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)00:02:57 No.66580633 >>66580231 (OP) # Post them you virgin f--- >>66580698 # >>66580861 #

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Christians don’t like Anon | /r/Greentext

>go to 4chan >vile p----, degeneracy, and some randomness >post my disdain for christianity >get roasted >staunch defenders of christianity tell me to accept jesus 100 KB JPG I really didn't expect to find defenders of christianity amidst vile p---- /b/, explain yourselves.
>go to 4chan >vile p----, degeneracy, and some randomness >post my disdain for christianity >get roasted >staunch defenders of christianity tell me to accept jesus 100 KB JPG I really didn't expect to find defenders of christianity amidst vile p---- /b/, explain yourselves.

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Anon has a good sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)06:33:14 No.25485248 >dropped out of uni >lost my job >don't even have a driving license >parents literally had enough of my s--- and kicked me out >no money to pay rent or do anything >literally only person who took me in is my 6 KB JPG older sister >being forced to stay at her place without paying rent while she gives me driving lessons and helps me look for work and new uni courses to apply to I think I've officially hit rock bottom. But on the plus side, it can only go up from here? Like if I really try my best, I'm sure to lift myself up, right? Should I just KMS? 13 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)06:33:14 No.25485248 >dropped out of uni >lost my job >don't even have a driving license >parents literally had enough of my s--- and kicked me out >no money to pay rent or do anything >literally only person who took me in is my 6 KB JPG older sister >being forced to stay at her place without paying rent while she gives me driving lessons and helps me look for work and new uni courses to apply to I think I've officially hit rock bottom. But on the plus side, it can only go up from here? Like if I really try my best, I'm sure to lift myself up, right? Should I just KMS? 13 Replies View Thread

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Anon discovers masturbation! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/18(Tue)01:46:12 No.767319186 Aight f--- i got one for you >be me, 5 >in bed with my dad cause renovating Erection in progress >ask dad what he dreams about >"hot girls, anon" >suddenly get erection for some reason >dont know what an erection is 15 KB JPG >go to bathroom to pee >rub my d--- by accident >feelsgoodman.jpg >fast forward 2 days >watching fashiontv for some reason >get erect >everyone around me >pulls out d--- and start rubbing it >orgasm >no c-- cause 5 >mom notices and screams "ANON WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >gets beaten >fast forward a few years >discovers what m----------- and erection are >mfw i remember jerking off in front of parents So hows it going /b/
: Anonymous 05/01/18(Tue)01:46:12 No.767319186 Aight f--- i got one for you >be me, 5 >in bed with my dad cause renovating Erection in progress >ask dad what he dreams about >"hot girls, anon" >suddenly get erection for some reason >dont know what an erection is 15 KB JPG >go to bathroom to pee >rub my d--- by accident >feelsgoodman.jpg >fast forward 2 days >watching fashiontv for some reason >get erect >everyone around me >pulls out d--- and start rubbing it >orgasm >no c-- cause 5 >mom notices and screams "ANON WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >gets beaten >fast forward a few years >discovers what m----------- and erection are >mfw i remember jerking off in front of parents So hows it going /b/

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Anon destroys his coworker | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (21 KB, 251x201) Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:23:11 No.47829822 >>47829862 >>47829884 >>47829907 >>47829939 >>47829951 >>47829956 >>47829960 >>47830118 >>47830125 >>47830163 >>47830168 >>47830182 >>47830452 >>47830501 >>47830536 >>47830601 >>47830697 >>47830737 >>47830847 >>47830857 >>47831328 >>47832066 >>47832229 >>47832302 >>47832353 >>47832354 >>47832513 >>47832696 >>47833199 >>47833530>>47833818>>47833850 >>47834179 >>47834587 >>47834632 >female coworker makes a joke at my expense about something I can't control (being bald) >l make a joke back about something she can control (being fat) >she goes home early and everybody is mad at me How was I the bad guy here? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:56:06 No.47830163 ► >>47830238 >>47829822 (OP) # What was her joke? And what did you answer? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)10:06:34 No.47830238 >>47830163 # >broke up with gf a few weeks ago (I ended it) >coworkers were talking about their exes (working with women is Hell) >>Anon, why don't you ever talk s--- about your ex? Didn't she break up with you because you were bald ha ha? >Ha ha, good one. Didn't you have a miscarriage because you're so fat?
File: file.png (21 KB, 251x201) Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:23:11 No.47829822 >>47829862 >>47829884 >>47829907 >>47829939 >>47829951 >>47829956 >>47829960 >>47830118 >>47830125 >>47830163 >>47830168 >>47830182 >>47830452 >>47830501 >>47830536 >>47830601 >>47830697 >>47830737 >>47830847 >>47830857 >>47831328 >>47832066 >>47832229 >>47832302 >>47832353 >>47832354 >>47832513 >>47832696 >>47833199 >>47833530>>47833818>>47833850 >>47834179 >>47834587 >>47834632 >female coworker makes a joke at my expense about something I can't control (being bald) >l make a joke back about something she can control (being fat) >she goes home early and everybody is mad at me How was I the bad guy here? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:56:06 No.47830163 ► >>47830238 >>47829822 (OP) # What was her joke? And what did you answer? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)10:06:34 No.47830238 >>47830163 # >broke up with gf a few weeks ago (I ended it) >coworkers were talking about their exes (working with women is Hell) >>Anon, why don't you ever talk s--- about your ex? Didn't she break up with you because you were bald ha ha? >Ha ha, good one. Didn't you have a miscarriage because you're so fat?

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Anon pranks his brother | /r/Greentext

>got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home 85 KB JPG >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure l left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you."
>got my brother's spare key because we live a walking distance away >we buy the same kind of bread because that's the same one we had at home 85 KB JPG >he's a man of schedule, goes shopping the same day every week, he goes on the same walk at the same time of day every day >always hated how irregular my habits are >decide to be a s------- for no reason >get a bag of bread on the same day he's gone shopping >toast the entire thing and put it back in the bag >wait until it's time for brother's walk >take my bag of toast and sneak in with my keys >know where he keeps his bread, switch the bag of bread with the bag of toast >toast two slices of bread to make the whole house smell like toast >escape once they're done >make sure l left no mark in the house, touch nothing >make it to home, start gaming >25 minutes later I get a text "I don't know how or why you've done this but I will f------ end you."

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Anon is jealous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)21:49:41 No.868672225 > the year is 2028 > scrolling on yt > Mark Rober released a new video > "Glitter Bomb trap 13.0 insane edition" > This time its just a bomb that explodes when the package is opened > "I spent the past 10 years designing 20 KB JPG this blah blah blah" > close up shots of a thief right before their body is pulverized > "Get lost trash! he deserved to die because he stole my package" > everyone cheers, house of thief is completely destroyed, family is crying > "Dont forget to like and subscribe for more" > 5434 billions view
: Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)21:49:41 No.868672225 > the year is 2028 > scrolling on yt > Mark Rober released a new video > "Glitter Bomb trap 13.0 insane edition" > This time its just a bomb that explodes when the package is opened > "I spent the past 10 years designing 20 KB JPG this blah blah blah" > close up shots of a thief right before their body is pulverized > "Get lost trash! he deserved to die because he stole my package" > everyone cheers, house of thief is completely destroyed, family is crying > "Dont forget to like and subscribe for more" > 5434 billions view

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Anon is magic | /r/Greentext

>be autist >have nothing to do >decide to cast a magic spell because you gotta try every so often in case you DO have those secret anime powers >read 7 is magic number 13 KB PNG >make text document called 77777777777777777777777777777777777 777777777.txt >write a bunch of names while chanting b------- >next day neighbor is found dead AMA
>be autist >have nothing to do >decide to cast a magic spell because you gotta try every so often in case you DO have those secret anime powers >read 7 is magic number 13 KB PNG >make text document called 77777777777777777777777777777777777 777777777.txt >write a bunch of names while chanting b------- >next day neighbor is found dead AMA

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Anon plays Fallout | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd
: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >It has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd

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Anon makes it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)07:45:28 No.859709433 Pros of Monke Cons of Monke >be me >Be depressed loser with no direction >Sadface 150 KB JPG >Randomly see return to monke meme >You know that's actually kinda funny >Start researching more about chimps and gorrilas Hey these guys are actually really cool >Want to learn more >Decide l'm going back to school for zoology >Apply for internship at zoo to work with gorrilas >While there meet a cute girl who works with tigers >Eventually planning on going to the congo for research Thank u monke very cool
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)07:45:28 No.859709433 Pros of Monke Cons of Monke >be me >Be depressed loser with no direction >Sadface 150 KB JPG >Randomly see return to monke meme >You know that's actually kinda funny >Start researching more about chimps and gorrilas Hey these guys are actually really cool >Want to learn more >Decide l'm going back to school for zoology >Apply for internship at zoo to work with gorrilas >While there meet a cute girl who works with tigers >Eventually planning on going to the congo for research Thank u monke very cool

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Anon is homeless | /r/Greentext

>be me >homeless >produce house music Feels Goodman.jpg
>be me >homeless >produce house music Feels Goodman.jpg

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Anon sees it all | /r/Greentext

20200902 220954.png 320 KB PNG >professor turned off Zoom camera to breastfeed her baby >told her she didn't have to because there's nothing shameful about breastfeeding >several dumb feminist bitches in my class agree >mfw got full frontal view of my professor's big juicy milkers
20200902 220954.png 320 KB PNG >professor turned off Zoom camera to breastfeed her baby >told her she didn't have to because there's nothing shameful about breastfeeding >several dumb feminist bitches in my class agree >mfw got full frontal view of my professor's big juicy milkers

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Anon lays out the road ahead | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: LmB3Gfn/ ) 11/21/21(Sun)02:39:25 No.348711925 >>348711697 # >>348711397 # The third dose increases the immunity, so after the fourth dose you are protected. Once 80% of the population has received the fifth dose, the restrictions can be relaxed as the sixth dose stops the virus from spreading. I am calm and believe the seventh dose will solve our problems and we have no reason to fear the eighth dose. The clinical phase of the ninth dose confirms that the antibodies 2.78 MB GIF remain stable after the tenth dose. The eleventh dose guarantees that no new mutations will develop so there is no longer and reason to fear the twelfth dose.
Anonymous (ID: LmB3Gfn/ ) 11/21/21(Sun)02:39:25 No.348711925 >>348711697 # >>348711397 # The third dose increases the immunity, so after the fourth dose you are protected. Once 80% of the population has received the fifth dose, the restrictions can be relaxed as the sixth dose stops the virus from spreading. I am calm and believe the seventh dose will solve our problems and we have no reason to fear the eighth dose. The clinical phase of the ninth dose confirms that the antibodies 2.78 MB GIF remain stable after the tenth dose. The eleventh dose guarantees that no new mutations will develop so there is no longer and reason to fear the twelfth dose.

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OP is a freak | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/15(Wed)16:21:26 No.658986823 Am I the only one here who likes to take s---- in the shower and watch the water slowly disintegrate them? 6 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/23/15(Wed)16:23:34 No.658987052 >>658986823 (OP) # yes
: Anonymous 12/23/15(Wed)16:21:26 No.658986823 Am I the only one here who likes to take s---- in the shower and watch the water slowly disintegrate them? 6 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/23/15(Wed)16:23:34 No.658987052 >>658986823 (OP) # yes

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Anon is the n word | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/23/18(Sun)22:09:24 No.780634355 > be me; white kid > live in stralya; status quo > make sure ground-harness is strapped on tight > go for walk > niceweather.png > walking down this narrow path > black guy was jogging behind me, so i move to the side 15 KB JPG to let him pass > without even slowing down or looking at me, he goes, "much obliged my n----" and keeps jogging > mfw a black guy called me their n----
: Anonymous 09/23/18(Sun)22:09:24 No.780634355 > be me; white kid > live in stralya; status quo > make sure ground-harness is strapped on tight > go for walk > niceweather.png > walking down this narrow path > black guy was jogging behind me, so i move to the side 15 KB JPG to let him pass > without even slowing down or looking at me, he goes, "much obliged my n----" and keeps jogging > mfw a black guy called me their n----

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