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Anon has weird toy fetish | /r/Greentext

File 1277701026.jng-(97 KB, 540xBUU, 700841402 jpg) O Anonymous O6/28/10(Mon)00:57 06 No.245158XXX So did you all buy your Jessie toy, masturbate and c-- on her face, then leave the room while you imagine all your other toys trying to console her while she cries, knowing she can't get the c-- off her face because it would cause suspicion? O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58: 10 No.245159XXX lol O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:26 No 245159XXX WHAT JUNE 18 Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:33 No.245159XXX Yes O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:57 No.245159XXX If this were facebook I would like this O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:59:05 No. 245159XXX I did it to buzz too
File 1277701026.jng-(97 KB, 540xBUU, 700841402 jpg) O Anonymous O6/28/10(Mon)00:57 06 No.245158XXX So did you all buy your Jessie toy, masturbate and c-- on her face, then leave the room while you imagine all your other toys trying to console her while she cries, knowing she can't get the c-- off her face because it would cause suspicion? O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58: 10 No.245159XXX lol O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:26 No 245159XXX WHAT JUNE 18 Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:33 No.245159XXX Yes O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:57 No.245159XXX If this were facebook I would like this O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:59:05 No. 245159XXX I did it to buzz too

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Anon is transforming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/21 (Wed)15:40:40 No.64474134 >brush teeth twice a day (from brushing once a month) >cold shower daily (used to shower once a month if that) >day 5 of nofap >keeping room tidy (almost got kicked out because of how dirty i 139 KB JPG kept it) >eating well >job interview in an hour 30 im crawling out, boys
: Anonymous 07/07/21 (Wed)15:40:40 No.64474134 >brush teeth twice a day (from brushing once a month) >cold shower daily (used to shower once a month if that) >day 5 of nofap >keeping room tidy (almost got kicked out because of how dirty i 139 KB JPG kept it) >eating well >job interview in an hour 30 im crawling out, boys

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Anon makes a happy accident | /r/Greentext

I always come here to complain about my s----- life, but today I actually enjoyed myself, so let me share my story: >be me 20 KB JPG >wake up at 1:30AM >at 4 I decide to make toast for breakfast >missingbread.stl >go to the store open 24/7 and buy what I need >since it's cool outside I decide to go somewhere with my bike >somehow I end up in a cornfield >I really enjoyed seeing the sun rise in that field I really look forward to my next trip. I hope you anons have a nice day too :)
I always come here to complain about my s----- life, but today I actually enjoyed myself, so let me share my story: >be me 20 KB JPG >wake up at 1:30AM >at 4 I decide to make toast for breakfast >missingbread.stl >go to the store open 24/7 and buy what I need >since it's cool outside I decide to go somewhere with my bike >somehow I end up in a cornfield >I really enjoyed seeing the sun rise in that field I really look forward to my next trip. I hope you anons have a nice day too :)

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Anon gets friendzoned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)12:09:40 No.63034762 >19 >talking to girl who does onlyfans in my neighborhood >sucks d--- for money sometimes >wanna get my first b------ >we meet up 507 KB PNG >we smoke weed and talk for a bit >l start to pull out the money and she stops me >"You're just so nice Anon, I wanna be friends with you, so sucking your d--- feels wrong." i can't believe i got friendzoned by a prostitute what the f--- is wrong with me
: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)12:09:40 No.63034762 >19 >talking to girl who does onlyfans in my neighborhood >sucks d--- for money sometimes >wanna get my first b------ >we meet up 507 KB PNG >we smoke weed and talk for a bit >l start to pull out the money and she stops me >"You're just so nice Anon, I wanna be friends with you, so sucking your d--- feels wrong." i can't believe i got friendzoned by a prostitute what the f--- is wrong with me

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Anon plays Clash of Clans. | /r/Greentext


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Anon got bullied | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [1 05/10/21(Mon)18:59:35 No.144686289 >be me in middle school >have brown skin and a rectangular shaped face >everyone calls me "El Minecraft" As a kid, did you suffer from bullying in your country too? 45 KB JPG
: Anonymous [1 05/10/21(Mon)18:59:35 No.144686289 >be me in middle school >have brown skin and a rectangular shaped face >everyone calls me "El Minecraft" As a kid, did you suffer from bullying in your country too? 45 KB JPG

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Anon is a giga chad | /r/Greentext

1620573052056.jpg 226 KB JPG >>61657418 (OP) # >The only woman I lift for is my mother, so I can help her when she gets old.
1620573052056.jpg 226 KB JPG >>61657418 (OP) # >The only woman I lift for is my mother, so I can help her when she gets old.

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)08:48:47 No.66583387 >go on first dating app date >greet her with a hug she kind of half refuses and obviously didn't expect >date is actually quite fun regardless >don't get the feeling she's interested eventhough conversations flows really 75 KB JPG easy >tuch her occassionally when joking or guiding her away from incoming people behind us (we took a long walk in the park) >she doesn't reciprocate any touch >say goodbye and go for a hug since I figured she's not interested >she goes for a kiss instead >s--- turns kind of awkward >she texts me 30 minutes later >wants to meet up again >feel awkward ever since because of how the date ended Am I being autistic here?
: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)08:48:47 No.66583387 >go on first dating app date >greet her with a hug she kind of half refuses and obviously didn't expect >date is actually quite fun regardless >don't get the feeling she's interested eventhough conversations flows really 75 KB JPG easy >tuch her occassionally when joking or guiding her away from incoming people behind us (we took a long walk in the park) >she doesn't reciprocate any touch >say goodbye and go for a hug since I figured she's not interested >she goes for a kiss instead >s--- turns kind of awkward >she texts me 30 minutes later >wants to meet up again >feel awkward ever since because of how the date ended Am I being autistic here?

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Anon witnesses a girl getting obliterated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)20:01:37 No.853965943 >be me today >eating on the patio of a restaurant >waitress has another girl shadowing her with a name tag that says "Trainee" >2 middle age women get seated within earshot of me, blonde and brunette 12 KB JPG >same waitress and trainee take their order >hear them say something like "that's just not right" and "I can't believe that" after they order >trainee brings back the waters alone >blonde says "honey, I just wanna say, they should NOT be making you wear a name tag that says t-----" >brunette says "you look great honey that's no one else's business" >f------ burst out laughing so loud everyone turns and looks >trainee girl literally starts crying and runs off >mfw
: Anonymous 05/08/21(Sat)20:01:37 No.853965943 >be me today >eating on the patio of a restaurant >waitress has another girl shadowing her with a name tag that says "Trainee" >2 middle age women get seated within earshot of me, blonde and brunette 12 KB JPG >same waitress and trainee take their order >hear them say something like "that's just not right" and "I can't believe that" after they order >trainee brings back the waters alone >blonde says "honey, I just wanna say, they should NOT be making you wear a name tag that says t-----" >brunette says "you look great honey that's no one else's business" >f------ burst out laughing so loud everyone turns and looks >trainee girl literally starts crying and runs off >mfw

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Anon hooks up with a straight guy | /r/Greentext


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Anon reads me like a book | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)08:52:49 No.868718337 > be you > reddit n----- > come here looking for "GWEENTEXTUS" for that "SWEET SWEET WEDDIT КАНМА" 40 KB JPG > find this Go ahead. Post it, n-----. Let everyone know how worthless you are. This post will be what seal yourself in your own mind as a parasite of the internet. : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)09:07:47 No.868718985 >>868719154 # : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)09:08:46 No.868719029 >>868718337 (OP) # Epstein didn't kill himself add me in the screencap China is trash Xi is a homosexual Putin is a cowardly femboy 18 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)08:52:49 No.868718337 > be you > reddit n----- > come here looking for "GWEENTEXTUS" for that "SWEET SWEET WEDDIT КАНМА" 40 KB JPG > find this Go ahead. Post it, n-----. Let everyone know how worthless you are. This post will be what seal yourself in your own mind as a parasite of the internet. : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)09:07:47 No.868718985 >>868719154 # : Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)09:08:46 No.868719029 >>868718337 (OP) # Epstein didn't kill himself add me in the screencap China is trash Xi is a homosexual Putin is a cowardly femboy 18 KB JPG

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Anon works at a club | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)16:05:21 No.776783830 Interesting stories? >work as barista at club >19yo eurofag, drinking age 18 here >150 people, big majority are underaged >theres this pipe in the ceiling that's like 7- 8 feet off the ground in one corner, a 234 KB JPG manlet can reach it >14-16yo druggie delinquents dancing like apes >one of them accidentally hits pipe >pipe disconnects from wall, hits another kid in the head >same kid turns around and punches first guy behind him >fight erupts, more idiots join in >shitstorm.mp4 >20 kids f------ fist fighting for a good 5 minutes, music stops >at one point they stop and realize the pipe started the brawl >they tell DJ everything is OK >music starts again, party continues >all of them continue dancing like nothing happened >mfw witnessing all that happen from behind the bar f------ slav parties man
: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)16:05:21 No.776783830 Interesting stories? >work as barista at club >19yo eurofag, drinking age 18 here >150 people, big majority are underaged >theres this pipe in the ceiling that's like 7- 8 feet off the ground in one corner, a 234 KB JPG manlet can reach it >14-16yo druggie delinquents dancing like apes >one of them accidentally hits pipe >pipe disconnects from wall, hits another kid in the head >same kid turns around and punches first guy behind him >fight erupts, more idiots join in >shitstorm.mp4 >20 kids f------ fist fighting for a good 5 minutes, music stops >at one point they stop and realize the pipe started the brawl >they tell DJ everything is OK >music starts again, party continues >all of them continue dancing like nothing happened >mfw witnessing all that happen from behind the bar f------ slav parties man

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Anon wins his argument | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)13:44:39 No.862361150 >be debating opponent >he brings up a very solid point that I was not ready for >everyone turns and looks at me >I smirk and look at him and the eyes >the room is silent 20 KB JPG > say "Well...I bet you must be fun at parties." >the crowd goes f------ a------
: Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)13:44:39 No.862361150 >be debating opponent >he brings up a very solid point that I was not ready for >everyone turns and looks at me >I smirk and look at him and the eyes >the room is silent 20 KB JPG > say "Well...I bet you must be fun at parties." >the crowd goes f------ a------

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Shit's about to get real | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: us2jzvcj ) 12/16/21(Thu)14:22:25 No.44552633 >made 1 million in crypto >father tells me even if I showed him 100million, I would have achieved nothing in his eyes, because it could have been luck 236 KB PNG What motivates someone to be such an a------ to their son? Also whats the logic here? I am just confused : Anonymous (ID: (Zkb60um 12/16/21(Thu)14:23:41 No.44552652 >>44552633 (OP) # it's called jealousy. : Anonymous (ID: 1X1wFaso 12/16/21(Thu)14:25:18 No.44552676 IAre your parents supportive? Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)23:33:07 No.39728466 Quentin Tarantino says he doesn't support his mother financially as she once mocked Rmm4KSOO Reply >The director spoko about an occasion where he says his mother sided with his teachers and scolded him for writing screenplays when he was just 12 in an opisode of The Moment podcast. his film ambitions >The 58-year-old said his mother "was bitching at me about that. and then in the middle of her little tirade, she said, "Oh, and by the way, this little 'writing career,' with the finger quotes and everything. This little writing career' that you're doing? That s--- is over. VIEW 3 COMMENTS >Tarantino continued: "When she said that to me in that sarcastic way, I go, "OK, lady, when I become a successtul writer, you will never see penny one from my success, There will be no house for you. There's no vacation for you, no Elvis Cadilac for mommy. You get nothing. Because you sald that." >The director insisted he had not gone back on his word. "I helped her out with a jam with the IRS, But no house. No Cadilac, nothing. >There are consequences for your words as you deal with your children. Remember thero are consequences for your sarcastic tone about what's meaningful to them." 1633768998819.png 427 KB PNG >>44552633 (OP)_# You know the solution. >>44552909 # >>44553107 # >>44553129 # >>44554149 # >>44554226 # >>44554403 # >>44554996 # >>44555188 #
: Anonymous (ID: us2jzvcj ) 12/16/21(Thu)14:22:25 No.44552633 >made 1 million in crypto >father tells me even if I showed him 100million, I would have achieved nothing in his eyes, because it could have been luck 236 KB PNG What motivates someone to be such an a------ to their son? Also whats the logic here? I am just confused : Anonymous (ID: (Zkb60um 12/16/21(Thu)14:23:41 No.44552652 >>44552633 (OP) # it's called jealousy. : Anonymous (ID: 1X1wFaso 12/16/21(Thu)14:25:18 No.44552676 IAre your parents supportive? Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)23:33:07 No.39728466 Quentin Tarantino says he doesn't support his mother financially as she once mocked Rmm4KSOO Reply >The director spoko about an occasion where he says his mother sided with his teachers and scolded him for writing screenplays when he was just 12 in an opisode of The Moment podcast. his film ambitions >The 58-year-old said his mother "was bitching at me about that. and then in the middle of her little tirade, she said, "Oh, and by the way, this little 'writing career,' with the finger quotes and everything. This little writing career' that you're doing? That s--- is over. VIEW 3 COMMENTS >Tarantino continued: "When she said that to me in that sarcastic way, I go, "OK, lady, when I become a successtul writer, you will never see penny one from my success, There will be no house for you. There's no vacation for you, no Elvis Cadilac for mommy. You get nothing. Because you sald that." >The director insisted he had not gone back on his word. "I helped her out with a jam with the IRS, But no house. No Cadilac, nothing. >There are consequences for your words as you deal with your children. Remember thero are consequences for your sarcastic tone about what's meaningful to them." 1633768998819.png 427 KB PNG >>44552633 (OP)_# You know the solution. >>44552909 # >>44553107 # >>44553129 # >>44554149 # >>44554226 # >>44554403 # >>44554996 # >>44555188 #

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Anon wants a haircut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)05:39:37 No.64690010 download-94.png 583 KB PNG what do i ask my barber to achieve this cut
: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)05:39:37 No.64690010 download-94.png 583 KB PNG what do i ask my barber to achieve this cut

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Anon takes his medication | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >28, live with wife >wake up in the morning to the smell of bacon and eggs >walk downstairs to greet my wife in the kitchen 65 KB PNG >she smiles at me >happiness >go over to medicine cabinet >hear my beautiful wife humming in the background >take my meds >2mg risperdal >turn to wife >she's gone >start cooking bacon and eggs
: Anonymous >be me >28, live with wife >wake up in the morning to the smell of bacon and eggs >walk downstairs to greet my wife in the kitchen 65 KB PNG >she smiles at me >happiness >go over to medicine cabinet >hear my beautiful wife humming in the background >take my meds >2mg risperdal >turn to wife >she's gone >start cooking bacon and eggs

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Anon is paranoid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Did my brother tried to kill m(...) 05/17/21 (Mon)12:58:57 No.63712176 > Be me working with brother on some stupid s--- > Brother is holding a 16 inches pipe wrench (pic related) > All of the blank he swings it really f------ quick at my head, but doesnt hit me, but he was centimeters away from 1.6 MB PNG doing so > I tell him that what the f---? > He says he was trying to scare away a fly Did my brother just tried to kill me? : Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)13:15:10 No.63712346 >>63712176 (OP) # yes. kill him first >>63712518 # : Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)13:15:46 No.63712355 >>63712176 (OP) # no. kill him first
: Anonymous Did my brother tried to kill m(...) 05/17/21 (Mon)12:58:57 No.63712176 > Be me working with brother on some stupid s--- > Brother is holding a 16 inches pipe wrench (pic related) > All of the blank he swings it really f------ quick at my head, but doesnt hit me, but he was centimeters away from 1.6 MB PNG doing so > I tell him that what the f---? > He says he was trying to scare away a fly Did my brother just tried to kill me? : Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)13:15:10 No.63712346 >>63712176 (OP) # yes. kill him first >>63712518 # : Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)13:15:46 No.63712355 >>63712176 (OP) # no. kill him first

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Anon has an existential crisis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)21:38:01 No.65121440 >why does something exist rather than nothing? >how does consious experience arise from chemical reactions? >how can you know that anything you experience is real? >nothing makes sense and there are no 29 KB JPG good answers >also you're going to die someday AHHHHHH SHUT THE F--- UP BRAIN I JUST WANT TO RELAX FOR 5 MINUTES
: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)21:38:01 No.65121440 >why does something exist rather than nothing? >how does consious experience arise from chemical reactions? >how can you know that anything you experience is real? >nothing makes sense and there are no 29 KB JPG good answers >also you're going to die someday AHHHHHH SHUT THE F--- UP BRAIN I JUST WANT TO RELAX FOR 5 MINUTES

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Anon tells us about his son | /r/Greentext

shave 13 year old son No.38434810 26 minutes ago PNG 366.4 KiB 469x537 >be a father >have 13 year old son >l always knew he'd grow up to be a loser >he's a complete nerd, really into star wars >also claims he is a "fiction-kin" >mightbeautistic.gif >he says he identifies as the Force >not even Darth Vader or Luke, just the f------ Force >he has long hair >l order him to get a haircut (maybe he could get a gf or something if he didn't look like a damn hobo) >after twenty minutes he walks into the room, his hair still long as s--- >l ask him why he didn't get a haircut >"I like my hair, it's my choice dad!" >notthisshit.jpg >already an edgy rebel >his sister comes in >walks up to the little f----- >"I think his hair is cute!" >she caresses his head >mfw my 14-year-old daughter stroked an uncut force-kin
shave 13 year old son No.38434810 26 minutes ago PNG 366.4 KiB 469x537 >be a father >have 13 year old son >l always knew he'd grow up to be a loser >he's a complete nerd, really into star wars >also claims he is a "fiction-kin" >mightbeautistic.gif >he says he identifies as the Force >not even Darth Vader or Luke, just the f------ Force >he has long hair >l order him to get a haircut (maybe he could get a gf or something if he didn't look like a damn hobo) >after twenty minutes he walks into the room, his hair still long as s--- >l ask him why he didn't get a haircut >"I like my hair, it's my choice dad!" >notthisshit.jpg >already an edgy rebel >his sister comes in >walks up to the little f----- >"I think his hair is cute!" >she caresses his head >mfw my 14-year-old daughter stroked an uncut force-kin

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Anon has nothing to be ashamed of | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)21:12:56 No.854729013 >be me, loser living with parents >go out to hit the gym with a bro >halfway through, get a text from mom >"hey anon, i was looking for some movies and i found a folder named gigachad, why is it full with 6 KB JPG muscular men?" >ohshit.mp4 >mfw she now thinks i'm gay wat do
: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)21:12:56 No.854729013 >be me, loser living with parents >go out to hit the gym with a bro >halfway through, get a text from mom >"hey anon, i was looking for some movies and i found a folder named gigachad, why is it full with 6 KB JPG muscular men?" >ohshit.mp4 >mfw she now thinks i'm gay wat do

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