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anon discovers the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Perhaps it was something he said? | /r/Greentext

why are women so f------ stupi(...) 12/18/21(Sat)16:05:19 No.66614387 >be hanging out with my older sister having comfy discussion >mention how I hate the fact that I'm no girlfriend >"I'm sure you'll find someone special anon, I know you're a quiet person but you have an amazing 10 KB JPG heart and you need to find someone who appreciates that" >tell her all my friends have a gf and its not fair its just me >"its okay anon these things take time" >tell her l'm going to kill myself >she gets sad and tells me to stop talking like that, its not funny >ask her how she'd react if I put a shotgun in my mouth and blew my brains over her face or if she walked in one morning and found me swinging from | a rope >she just bursts out crying for no reason with her face in her hands and wont stop crying or even answer me Why are women so f------ stupid and illogical? You ask them one basic question and they just start crying to avoid answering it because its all they know how to do. F--- I hate women. 8 Replies View Thread
why are women so f------ stupi(...) 12/18/21(Sat)16:05:19 No.66614387 >be hanging out with my older sister having comfy discussion >mention how I hate the fact that I'm no girlfriend >"I'm sure you'll find someone special anon, I know you're a quiet person but you have an amazing 10 KB JPG heart and you need to find someone who appreciates that" >tell her all my friends have a gf and its not fair its just me >"its okay anon these things take time" >tell her l'm going to kill myself >she gets sad and tells me to stop talking like that, its not funny >ask her how she'd react if I put a shotgun in my mouth and blew my brains over her face or if she walked in one morning and found me swinging from | a rope >she just bursts out crying for no reason with her face in her hands and wont stop crying or even answer me Why are women so f------ stupid and illogical? You ask them one basic question and they just start crying to avoid answering it because its all they know how to do. F--- I hate women. 8 Replies View Thread

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext


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Anon talk with a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I 12/18/21(Sat)12:50:50 No.116060894 >>116060916 >>116060934 >>116060812 >girl asked if I had instagram last week >told her no >"I expected that" What did she mean by this?
Anonymous I 12/18/21(Sat)12:50:50 No.116060894 >>116060916 >>116060934 >>116060812 >girl asked if I had instagram last week >told her no >"I expected that" What did she mean by this?

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Anon smells nice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)09:56:30 No.66061441 >be me >with grandma >she's watching big bang theory >such s--- >woman on tv says to guy "find out what cologne her father wears if you want to have coitus with her" 1.45 MB PNG >hmm >been hanging out with this one girl who's really close with her father >met her dad before so I ask him what cologne he uses >tells me and I get the same one and use it >takes 5 days before me and girl have sex >it was her first time >mega virgin sitcom got me laid All in a days work
: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)09:56:30 No.66061441 >be me >with grandma >she's watching big bang theory >such s--- >woman on tv says to guy "find out what cologne her father wears if you want to have coitus with her" 1.45 MB PNG >hmm >been hanging out with this one girl who's really close with her father >met her dad before so I ask him what cologne he uses >tells me and I get the same one and use it >takes 5 days before me and girl have sex >it was her first time >mega virgin sitcom got me laid All in a days work

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Anon hasn’t eaten in 6 days | /r/Greentext

>be me >GenYfag so still living with mom >"Anon I need money for this bill" (though she obviously didn't based on what she really used it for) >Literally give her all the cash in my wallet >Broke as f--- for the week 266.6 kB JPG >Friday comes >Walking to work without wallet for 6th day in a row >Suddenly guy in car pulls up >"Hey boy come here" >strangerdanger.gif >Realize I'm not 5 >l get closer as he pulls out several dollar bills >"Here, buy yourself a burger or something" >Gives me $3, turns the corner and drives away Pretty much makes this the best day of my week
>be me >GenYfag so still living with mom >"Anon I need money for this bill" (though she obviously didn't based on what she really used it for) >Literally give her all the cash in my wallet >Broke as f--- for the week 266.6 kB JPG >Friday comes >Walking to work without wallet for 6th day in a row >Suddenly guy in car pulls up >"Hey boy come here" >strangerdanger.gif >Realize I'm not 5 >l get closer as he pulls out several dollar bills >"Here, buy yourself a burger or something" >Gives me $3, turns the corner and drives away Pretty much makes this the best day of my week

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Anon wants to go... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 52 minutes ago 56403233 >Wanna say "Let's go" and "okay" >Said "Let's gay" >Got weird looks
Anonymous 52 minutes ago 56403233 >Wanna say "Let's go" and "okay" >Said "Let's gay" >Got weird looks

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Anon gives a history lesson | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)00:05:50 No.804036790 >Mao sees birds eat grains >he tells 1 billion chinks to kill all the birds in China so that the birds won't eat their grains anymore >1 billion chinks kill all the birds in China 20 KB JPG >with no more birds, the insect population explodes in China >the insects eat all the grains >45 million chinks starve to death https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Pests_Campaign >Mao needs steel to make buildings >he tells 1 billion chinks to stop farming and working, and instead to melt down all their metal to produce steel >1 billion chinks gather every single piece of metal in sight, including farming tools, pots, and pans >1 billion chinks chop down every single tree in sight to fuel the furnaces, and even tear down their own houses to provide more wood >in the end, 1 billion chinks produce millions of tons of useless pig iron that is completely unusable >1 billion chinks now have no homes to live in, no tools to use for farming, no pots to cook food, no wood to heat the pots, and no food to eat because the insects helped themselves to it with no birds to worry about China. The Chinese really are the stupidest m------------ in history.
: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)00:05:50 No.804036790 >Mao sees birds eat grains >he tells 1 billion chinks to kill all the birds in China so that the birds won't eat their grains anymore >1 billion chinks kill all the birds in China 20 KB JPG >with no more birds, the insect population explodes in China >the insects eat all the grains >45 million chinks starve to death https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Pests_Campaign >Mao needs steel to make buildings >he tells 1 billion chinks to stop farming and working, and instead to melt down all their metal to produce steel >1 billion chinks gather every single piece of metal in sight, including farming tools, pots, and pans >1 billion chinks chop down every single tree in sight to fuel the furnaces, and even tear down their own houses to provide more wood >in the end, 1 billion chinks produce millions of tons of useless pig iron that is completely unusable >1 billion chinks now have no homes to live in, no tools to use for farming, no pots to cook food, no wood to heat the pots, and no food to eat because the insects helped themselves to it with no birds to worry about China. The Chinese really are the stupidest m------------ in history.

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Milfs in your area | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:40:18 No.66612518 >39 year old girl flirts with a 25 year old guy >she wants to feel young, innocent, naive and foolish again >he just wants a second mother YIKES! 105 KB JPG many such cases : Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:41:51 No.66612528 Post step by step guide on how to get this mommy gf you speak of t. 25 yr old
: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:40:18 No.66612518 >39 year old girl flirts with a 25 year old guy >she wants to feel young, innocent, naive and foolish again >he just wants a second mother YIKES! 105 KB JPG many such cases : Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:41:51 No.66612528 Post step by step guide on how to get this mommy gf you speak of t. 25 yr old

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Anon goes to work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: omJpzVE)= 07/25/16(Mon)00:32:11 No.82523258- >be Chinese >wake up for work >elevator is shut down cause it cut someone in half >use stairs instead >can't use car because the garage collapsed on it >barely avoid getting swallowed by a sidewalk sinkhole >narrowly dodge a car that rolls over a 4 year old child >finally make it to train station >escalator eats the guy in front of me >10 people are trampled to death trying to get on train >train derails killing hundreds >crawl out of rubble and stumble to work >clock in at the oil refinery and light a c-------- >resulting explosion vaporizes 4 city blocks
Anonymous (ID: omJpzVE)= 07/25/16(Mon)00:32:11 No.82523258- >be Chinese >wake up for work >elevator is shut down cause it cut someone in half >use stairs instead >can't use car because the garage collapsed on it >barely avoid getting swallowed by a sidewalk sinkhole >narrowly dodge a car that rolls over a 4 year old child >finally make it to train station >escalator eats the guy in front of me >10 people are trampled to death trying to get on train >train derails killing hundreds >crawl out of rubble and stumble to work >clock in at the oil refinery and light a c-------- >resulting explosion vaporizes 4 city blocks

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Anon should've just said When Harry Met Sally | /r/Greentext

[6 / 3] 126KİB, 1000x621, come-and-see-thumb.jpg >be me, 5/10 wage cuck Soviet immigrants >filme nerd/kino enjoyer >son >not gay. friends with many femoids, but never get laid. >working a shift, see 7/10 coworker on her way out. >basic name, basic interests, favorite show: the bachelorette. Still worth a shot tho. >"hey anon, give me a movie, any movie!" >S---!.png >What do I know that's good that she'd actually like >l know hundreds of films, but only one comes to mind >"I have a movie, but idk if you'd like it" >"Oh anon, if you recommend it, I'm sure it's good." >"Well... There's this Belorussian film about a kid living through the Holocaust. It shows an entire village get burned alive by the Nazis." >"Anon, that horrible! Why would you ever say something like that?" >Next day find out someone filed an anonymous complaint against me for poisoning the positive work environment >Later virgins
[6 / 3] 126KİB, 1000x621, come-and-see-thumb.jpg >be me, 5/10 wage cuck Soviet immigrants >filme nerd/kino enjoyer >son >not gay. friends with many femoids, but never get laid. >working a shift, see 7/10 coworker on her way out. >basic name, basic interests, favorite show: the bachelorette. Still worth a shot tho. >"hey anon, give me a movie, any movie!" >S---!.png >What do I know that's good that she'd actually like >l know hundreds of films, but only one comes to mind >"I have a movie, but idk if you'd like it" >"Oh anon, if you recommend it, I'm sure it's good." >"Well... There's this Belorussian film about a kid living through the Holocaust. It shows an entire village get burned alive by the Nazis." >"Anon, that horrible! Why would you ever say something like that?" >Next day find out someone filed an anonymous complaint against me for poisoning the positive work environment >Later virgins

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Relatable. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)06:48:56 No.17111753 >Growing up, parents had a whole shelf of cookbooks >only made the same 10 or so meals the entire time I lived with them 283 KB PNG >>17111789 #
: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)06:48:56 No.17111753 >Growing up, parents had a whole shelf of cookbooks >only made the same 10 or so meals the entire time I lived with them 283 KB PNG >>17111789 #

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Anon dad is special | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Is my dad autistic? 12/18/21(Sat)19:32:21 No.66613728 >be 28yo >live alone, but with dogs >dad comes to visit me from several states away >meets my male german shepherd for the first time >shepherd rolls onto his back, dad asks what those weird lumps are 22 KB JPG >l say they're his n------ >dad asks "why does he have n------ if he's a boy?" >l say "why do you?" >dad immediately shuts up and walks away it's been 3 hours and he hasn't spoken to me since. please help, he's here for a week
: Anonymous Is my dad autistic? 12/18/21(Sat)19:32:21 No.66613728 >be 28yo >live alone, but with dogs >dad comes to visit me from several states away >meets my male german shepherd for the first time >shepherd rolls onto his back, dad asks what those weird lumps are 22 KB JPG >l say they're his n------ >dad asks "why does he have n------ if he's a boy?" >l say "why do you?" >dad immediately shuts up and walks away it's been 3 hours and he hasn't spoken to me since. please help, he's here for a week

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anon plays a bad game | /r/Greentext

>play WoWS >fire a shell at a ship >it penetrates the hull >ships are female >l penetrated a female See ya later virgins 134.4 kB JPG
>play WoWS >fire a shell at a ship >it penetrates the hull >ships are female >l penetrated a female See ya later virgins 134.4 kB JPG

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Anon has a question | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)12:10:21 No.868846799 Dumb question time >if you date a girl >she is your girlfriend >if you date a boy >he is your boyfriend >If you date a non-binary person >What do you call them?
O Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)12:10:21 No.868846799 Dumb question time >if you date a girl >she is your girlfriend >if you date a boy >he is your boyfriend >If you date a non-binary person >What do you call them?

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Anon beats the system | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: uvy/Oy25 11/21/21(Sun)15:58:22 No.348798710 >buy new car in illinois >state law says you can return a car to a dealer within 30 days for any reason no questions asked as long as its not damaged, full 100% refund >return car after 29 days >dealer is livid but must accept it by law >come back next day, inquire about the same car >act as if I know absolutely nothing about the events of the previous month >dealer is blurting out features and options through clenched teeth >l'm interested... can you run a car fax for me? >oh this car is used >l'm still interested but not at that price, here's half >sales wagie has to breathe into a paper bag so he doesn't collapse from stress >I buy a new car at half price
: Anonymous (ID: uvy/Oy25 11/21/21(Sun)15:58:22 No.348798710 >buy new car in illinois >state law says you can return a car to a dealer within 30 days for any reason no questions asked as long as its not damaged, full 100% refund >return car after 29 days >dealer is livid but must accept it by law >come back next day, inquire about the same car >act as if I know absolutely nothing about the events of the previous month >dealer is blurting out features and options through clenched teeth >l'm interested... can you run a car fax for me? >oh this car is used >l'm still interested but not at that price, here's half >sales wagie has to breathe into a paper bag so he doesn't collapse from stress >I buy a new car at half price

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Anon is asked to take a picture | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:49:34 No.3837476 >Be me >at Universal Islands of Adventure with my family >having a fun time >all of a sudden two cute girls around my age come 72 KB JPG over to me and ask me to take their picture with their phone >MFW >l take their picture and they go on their way Why did they choose me? The nerdy, beta, zit faced 20 year old? : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:51:32 No.3837481 : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:53:20 No.3837485 : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)19:00:30 No.3837502 Because you're too fat to run off with their phone.
: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:49:34 No.3837476 >Be me >at Universal Islands of Adventure with my family >having a fun time >all of a sudden two cute girls around my age come 72 KB JPG over to me and ask me to take their picture with their phone >MFW >l take their picture and they go on their way Why did they choose me? The nerdy, beta, zit faced 20 year old? : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:51:32 No.3837481 : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:53:20 No.3837485 : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)19:00:30 No.3837502 Because you're too fat to run off with their phone.

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Anon The Well-Armed Manlet | /r/Greentext

Stopped getting bullied stories >be me >constantly picked on because of my size >kids kick me and taunt me 25 KB JPG and s--- >one day in class chad tells me to kill myself >"oh I guarentee im gonna kill myself pretty soon I mostly just wonder how many of you I'll take with me" >class goes silent >mfw never got bullied again |
Stopped getting bullied stories >be me >constantly picked on because of my size >kids kick me and taunt me 25 KB JPG and s--- >one day in class chad tells me to kill myself >"oh I guarentee im gonna kill myself pretty soon I mostly just wonder how many of you I'll take with me" >class goes silent >mfw never got bullied again |

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Anon watches 13 reasons why | /r/Greentext


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Road to Damascus | /r/Greentext


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