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Anon goes to work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: omJpzVE)= 07/25/16(Mon)00:32:11 No.82523258- >be Chinese >wake up for work >elevator is shut down cause it cut someone in half >use stairs instead >can't use car because the garage collapsed on it >barely avoid getting swallowed by a sidewalk sinkhole >narrowly dodge a car that rolls over a 4 year old child >finally make it to train station >escalator eats the guy in front of me >10 people are trampled to death trying to get on train >train derails killing hundreds >crawl out of rubble and stumble to work >clock in at the oil refinery and light a c-------- >resulting explosion vaporizes 4 city blocks
Anonymous (ID: omJpzVE)= 07/25/16(Mon)00:32:11 No.82523258- >be Chinese >wake up for work >elevator is shut down cause it cut someone in half >use stairs instead >can't use car because the garage collapsed on it >barely avoid getting swallowed by a sidewalk sinkhole >narrowly dodge a car that rolls over a 4 year old child >finally make it to train station >escalator eats the guy in front of me >10 people are trampled to death trying to get on train >train derails killing hundreds >crawl out of rubble and stumble to work >clock in at the oil refinery and light a c-------- >resulting explosion vaporizes 4 city blocks

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Anon should've just said When Harry Met Sally | /r/Greentext

[6 / 3] 126KİB, 1000x621, come-and-see-thumb.jpg >be me, 5/10 wage cuck Soviet immigrants >filme nerd/kino enjoyer >son >not gay. friends with many femoids, but never get laid. >working a shift, see 7/10 coworker on her way out. >basic name, basic interests, favorite show: the bachelorette. Still worth a shot tho. >"hey anon, give me a movie, any movie!" >S---!.png >What do I know that's good that she'd actually like >l know hundreds of films, but only one comes to mind >"I have a movie, but idk if you'd like it" >"Oh anon, if you recommend it, I'm sure it's good." >"Well... There's this Belorussian film about a kid living through the Holocaust. It shows an entire village get burned alive by the Nazis." >"Anon, that horrible! Why would you ever say something like that?" >Next day find out someone filed an anonymous complaint against me for poisoning the positive work environment >Later virgins
[6 / 3] 126KİB, 1000x621, come-and-see-thumb.jpg >be me, 5/10 wage cuck Soviet immigrants >filme nerd/kino enjoyer >son >not gay. friends with many femoids, but never get laid. >working a shift, see 7/10 coworker on her way out. >basic name, basic interests, favorite show: the bachelorette. Still worth a shot tho. >"hey anon, give me a movie, any movie!" >S---!.png >What do I know that's good that she'd actually like >l know hundreds of films, but only one comes to mind >"I have a movie, but idk if you'd like it" >"Oh anon, if you recommend it, I'm sure it's good." >"Well... There's this Belorussian film about a kid living through the Holocaust. It shows an entire village get burned alive by the Nazis." >"Anon, that horrible! Why would you ever say something like that?" >Next day find out someone filed an anonymous complaint against me for poisoning the positive work environment >Later virgins

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Relatable. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)06:48:56 No.17111753 >Growing up, parents had a whole shelf of cookbooks >only made the same 10 or so meals the entire time I lived with them 283 KB PNG >>17111789 #
: Anonymous 12/11/21(Sat)06:48:56 No.17111753 >Growing up, parents had a whole shelf of cookbooks >only made the same 10 or so meals the entire time I lived with them 283 KB PNG >>17111789 #

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Anon dad is special | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Is my dad autistic? 12/18/21(Sat)19:32:21 No.66613728 >be 28yo >live alone, but with dogs >dad comes to visit me from several states away >meets my male german shepherd for the first time >shepherd rolls onto his back, dad asks what those weird lumps are 22 KB JPG >l say they're his n------ >dad asks "why does he have n------ if he's a boy?" >l say "why do you?" >dad immediately shuts up and walks away it's been 3 hours and he hasn't spoken to me since. please help, he's here for a week
: Anonymous Is my dad autistic? 12/18/21(Sat)19:32:21 No.66613728 >be 28yo >live alone, but with dogs >dad comes to visit me from several states away >meets my male german shepherd for the first time >shepherd rolls onto his back, dad asks what those weird lumps are 22 KB JPG >l say they're his n------ >dad asks "why does he have n------ if he's a boy?" >l say "why do you?" >dad immediately shuts up and walks away it's been 3 hours and he hasn't spoken to me since. please help, he's here for a week

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anon plays a bad game | /r/Greentext

>play WoWS >fire a shell at a ship >it penetrates the hull >ships are female >l penetrated a female See ya later virgins 134.4 kB JPG
>play WoWS >fire a shell at a ship >it penetrates the hull >ships are female >l penetrated a female See ya later virgins 134.4 kB JPG

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Anon has a question | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)12:10:21 No.868846799 Dumb question time >if you date a girl >she is your girlfriend >if you date a boy >he is your boyfriend >If you date a non-binary person >What do you call them?
O Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)12:10:21 No.868846799 Dumb question time >if you date a girl >she is your girlfriend >if you date a boy >he is your boyfriend >If you date a non-binary person >What do you call them?

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Anon beats the system | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: uvy/Oy25 11/21/21(Sun)15:58:22 No.348798710 >buy new car in illinois >state law says you can return a car to a dealer within 30 days for any reason no questions asked as long as its not damaged, full 100% refund >return car after 29 days >dealer is livid but must accept it by law >come back next day, inquire about the same car >act as if I know absolutely nothing about the events of the previous month >dealer is blurting out features and options through clenched teeth >l'm interested... can you run a car fax for me? >oh this car is used >l'm still interested but not at that price, here's half >sales wagie has to breathe into a paper bag so he doesn't collapse from stress >I buy a new car at half price
: Anonymous (ID: uvy/Oy25 11/21/21(Sun)15:58:22 No.348798710 >buy new car in illinois >state law says you can return a car to a dealer within 30 days for any reason no questions asked as long as its not damaged, full 100% refund >return car after 29 days >dealer is livid but must accept it by law >come back next day, inquire about the same car >act as if I know absolutely nothing about the events of the previous month >dealer is blurting out features and options through clenched teeth >l'm interested... can you run a car fax for me? >oh this car is used >l'm still interested but not at that price, here's half >sales wagie has to breathe into a paper bag so he doesn't collapse from stress >I buy a new car at half price

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Anon is asked to take a picture | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:49:34 No.3837476 >Be me >at Universal Islands of Adventure with my family >having a fun time >all of a sudden two cute girls around my age come 72 KB JPG over to me and ask me to take their picture with their phone >MFW >l take their picture and they go on their way Why did they choose me? The nerdy, beta, zit faced 20 year old? : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:51:32 No.3837481 : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:53:20 No.3837485 : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)19:00:30 No.3837502 Because you're too fat to run off with their phone.
: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:49:34 No.3837476 >Be me >at Universal Islands of Adventure with my family >having a fun time >all of a sudden two cute girls around my age come 72 KB JPG over to me and ask me to take their picture with their phone >MFW >l take their picture and they go on their way Why did they choose me? The nerdy, beta, zit faced 20 year old? : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:51:32 No.3837481 : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)18:53:20 No.3837485 : Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)19:00:30 No.3837502 Because you're too fat to run off with their phone.

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Anon The Well-Armed Manlet | /r/Greentext

Stopped getting bullied stories >be me >constantly picked on because of my size >kids kick me and taunt me 25 KB JPG and s--- >one day in class chad tells me to kill myself >"oh I guarentee im gonna kill myself pretty soon I mostly just wonder how many of you I'll take with me" >class goes silent >mfw never got bullied again |
Stopped getting bullied stories >be me >constantly picked on because of my size >kids kick me and taunt me 25 KB JPG and s--- >one day in class chad tells me to kill myself >"oh I guarentee im gonna kill myself pretty soon I mostly just wonder how many of you I'll take with me" >class goes silent >mfw never got bullied again |

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Anon watches 13 reasons why | /r/Greentext


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Road to Damascus | /r/Greentext


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Doctors with borders | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:01:57 No.66612337 >>66611702 (OP) # >high school >adorable little asian girl lives near me >we ride the bus every morning and usually together after school >bus + train + bus again ride is 319 KB JPG like 1.5 hrs long >talk every day >after about 8 months I ask her out while we walk back home >didnt stutter, chicken or anything >actually impressed with myself >she just stops talking for a few seconds and you can see her thinking really hard >says she doesnt date white people >says its because of her strict parents >l really know its just because im a complete burnout already in high school >she could have easily became a doctor >very rarely interacted with me from there at least I actually f------ tried I guess
: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)08:01:57 No.66612337 >>66611702 (OP) # >high school >adorable little asian girl lives near me >we ride the bus every morning and usually together after school >bus + train + bus again ride is 319 KB JPG like 1.5 hrs long >talk every day >after about 8 months I ask her out while we walk back home >didnt stutter, chicken or anything >actually impressed with myself >she just stops talking for a few seconds and you can see her thinking really hard >says she doesnt date white people >says its because of her strict parents >l really know its just because im a complete burnout already in high school >she could have easily became a doctor >very rarely interacted with me from there at least I actually f------ tried I guess

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Anon is kinky | /r/Greentext

>kink is to be shamed for having odd kinks >don't actually have any odd kinks so make them up to be shamed for >instant rush seeing disgusted chicks saying "ew w-- are you doing anon 133 KB JPG thats weird" >time goes on >kinky weirdos join gay parades asking for acceptance >w-- >people start getting used to kinks >"kink shaming is wrong" >chicks want to be "supportive" of my weird fantasies and want me to feel "comfortable being myself" >this sucks >ask someone to shame me >it's not the same >mfw this generation ruined my f------ kink
>kink is to be shamed for having odd kinks >don't actually have any odd kinks so make them up to be shamed for >instant rush seeing disgusted chicks saying "ew w-- are you doing anon 133 KB JPG thats weird" >time goes on >kinky weirdos join gay parades asking for acceptance >w-- >people start getting used to kinks >"kink shaming is wrong" >chicks want to be "supportive" of my weird fantasies and want me to feel "comfortable being myself" >this sucks >ask someone to shame me >it's not the same >mfw this generation ruined my f------ kink

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Anon is cum sock | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/18(Mon)23:01:38 No.776473181 >decide to commit suicide >Try to put things in best order I possibly can >Clean up room, throw away c---sock, say goodbye to neighbors >Readytodienow.exe >Go to garage and put gun in my mouth 8 KB JPG >Took me about an hour to get preped >Friend calls me, talks me out of it >TEW I threw out my c---sock for nothing
: Anonymous 08/06/18(Mon)23:01:38 No.776473181 >decide to commit suicide >Try to put things in best order I possibly can >Clean up room, throw away c---sock, say goodbye to neighbors >Readytodienow.exe >Go to garage and put gun in my mouth 8 KB JPG >Took me about an hour to get preped >Friend calls me, talks me out of it >TEW I threw out my c---sock for nothing

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Anon goes to a party | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)14:07:11 No.64244130 >Go to party/large social situation >Girls literally just sit there and feel no pressure to do anything while the guys engage in constant psychological warfare and competition to be the most fun I hate this 619 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)14:07:11 No.64244130 >Go to party/large social situation >Girls literally just sit there and feel no pressure to do anything while the guys engage in constant psychological warfare and competition to be the most fun I hate this 619 KB JPG

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Anon devours trees | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)21:43:30 No.64778471 Never prepared those myself before. What is the secret to make them tasty? 459 KB JPG 64 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)06:31:17 No.64782935 >>64778471 (OP) # Eat them raw while pretending to be an enormous dinosaur 62 KB JPG devouring tiny trees >>64783160 #
: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)21:43:30 No.64778471 Never prepared those myself before. What is the secret to make them tasty? 459 KB JPG 64 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)06:31:17 No.64782935 >>64778471 (OP) # Eat them raw while pretending to be an enormous dinosaur 62 KB JPG devouring tiny trees >>64783160 #

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Anon defeats a cryptothot using dinosaurs and autism. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: PN9YpXsp ) 09/05/21(Sun)18:34:47 No.40458494 >>40457457 (OP) # saw a girl last month. she try cancel the date within 1st hour. now she hits me up everyday. and wants me be her "friend" i got her into crypto, and showed her 1 of my stacks. she figured out i made 40 grand this month. now i just send her dinosaur pictures. and tell her im autistic. it's driving her crazy. she tried to f--- me thurs and friday night calling me up giving me the "im lonely.." "my bf.. "i think" isnt paying attention to me." bitch. have a f------ stegosaurus. have a f------ triceratops.. >>40458543 # >>40458566 # >>40458649 # >>40459728 # >>40460038 # >>40460097 # >>40460234 # >>40460287 # >>40460444 # >>40460529 # >>40460556 # >>40462971 #
: Anonymous (ID: PN9YpXsp ) 09/05/21(Sun)18:34:47 No.40458494 >>40457457 (OP) # saw a girl last month. she try cancel the date within 1st hour. now she hits me up everyday. and wants me be her "friend" i got her into crypto, and showed her 1 of my stacks. she figured out i made 40 grand this month. now i just send her dinosaur pictures. and tell her im autistic. it's driving her crazy. she tried to f--- me thurs and friday night calling me up giving me the "im lonely.." "my bf.. "i think" isnt paying attention to me." bitch. have a f------ stegosaurus. have a f------ triceratops.. >>40458543 # >>40458566 # >>40458649 # >>40459728 # >>40460038 # >>40460097 # >>40460234 # >>40460287 # >>40460444 # >>40460529 # >>40460556 # >>40462971 #

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Anon gets robbed | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 10/27/16(Thu)07:10:15 No.32360229 File: 223211b5a1.png (440 KB, 632x604) >>32360378 >>32360816 Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night
U Anonymous 10/27/16(Thu)07:10:15 No.32360229 File: 223211b5a1.png (440 KB, 632x604) >>32360378 >>32360816 Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night

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Anon and his wife | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/18(Mon)13:28:07 No.776407860 >come home after work >wife is p----- off at me >investigate to find out why >she tells me we haven't tried anything new in bed >"oh s---, ok" >we start playing and messing around >she tells me she wants me to eat her ass >"sure, why not?" >she turns over, ass in the air, spreads ass >go down to brown town >she's moaning and staring to push on the back of my head not letting me back up for a breath >tells me to lay on my back >she stands over me and squats down >ass in face >proceeds to ram that hole with my tongue >i hear her giggle >hear her stomach make a weird noise >she lets loose and farts in my mouth >i try to push her off but the gas won't stop >eventually she rolls over laughing >i sit up >look directly into the camera >"the thing's i do for love" >live studio audience explodes with laughter and cheers >zooms out >i'm on a set with my tv wife laughing and waving to the audience as we're wrapping up this week's episode >wake up
: Anonymous 08/06/18(Mon)13:28:07 No.776407860 >come home after work >wife is p----- off at me >investigate to find out why >she tells me we haven't tried anything new in bed >"oh s---, ok" >we start playing and messing around >she tells me she wants me to eat her ass >"sure, why not?" >she turns over, ass in the air, spreads ass >go down to brown town >she's moaning and staring to push on the back of my head not letting me back up for a breath >tells me to lay on my back >she stands over me and squats down >ass in face >proceeds to ram that hole with my tongue >i hear her giggle >hear her stomach make a weird noise >she lets loose and farts in my mouth >i try to push her off but the gas won't stop >eventually she rolls over laughing >i sit up >look directly into the camera >"the thing's i do for love" >live studio audience explodes with laughter and cheers >zooms out >i'm on a set with my tv wife laughing and waving to the audience as we're wrapping up this week's episode >wake up

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Anon gets a kiss on b day the | /r/Greentext


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