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Anon meets your mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.46107197 1 hour ago >fixing notebook for a ~70 years old lady >comes, pays, asks about gaming tier GPUS for her desktop >little took back I inquire about the price range and what games, solitaire, sudoku, puzzle games... >nope, I play the Assasin >Assassin's creed? >yes, on my grandsons console, I just love Venice >she pauses >and killing people 3 replies
Anonymous No.46107197 1 hour ago >fixing notebook for a ~70 years old lady >comes, pays, asks about gaming tier GPUS for her desktop >little took back I inquire about the price range and what games, solitaire, sudoku, puzzle games... >nope, I play the Assasin >Assassin's creed? >yes, on my grandsons console, I just love Venice >she pauses >and killing people 3 replies

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Best Hero Ever | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/29/19(Tue)17:43:55 No.791278765 >help millions with depression >be ranked as best artist in your career >donate to charities >help the homeless, generally be a good guy >be mourned by people across the planet >be bob ross >pic unrelated
Anonymous 01/29/19(Tue)17:43:55 No.791278765 >help millions with depression >be ranked as best artist in your career >donate to charities >help the homeless, generally be a good guy >be mourned by people across the planet >be bob ross >pic unrelated

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Anon ruins the economy | /r/Greentext

File: 1346384153922.jipg-(22 KB, 398x500, Thumbs_up_kid_big.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: UW3JUTAA) 08/30/12(Thu)23:35:53 No.422259943 Time for a story, /b/ >Bring girlfriend home >No one else is there >Ask for a b------ >She give it >S--- is cash >uh oh >S--- is literal cash >start rocketing 50's out of my ass >Never stops >Nation wide inflation occurs >Thousands of families lose their jobs and homes >America loses its position as a super power >Russia sees our weakness >After 17 long years of war, America falls >Russia takes over, enstates communism >Because of communist laws, my girfiend is entitled to a b------ >She begins s------- rubbles, 10,000 a second >inflation occurs again >Russian controlled America falls victim to widespread poverty >The cycle continues >mfw despite spiraling the world into chaos I still got head O Anonymous (ID: 6timwWoF) 08/30/12(Thu)23:36:36 No.422260087 wat Anonymous (ID: rzTZnJ+A) 08/30/12(Thu)23:37:27 No.422260236 wat Anonymous (ID: FZIVPL9X) 08/30/12(Thu)23:38:04 No.422260347 wat
File: 1346384153922.jipg-(22 KB, 398x500, Thumbs_up_kid_big.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: UW3JUTAA) 08/30/12(Thu)23:35:53 No.422259943 Time for a story, /b/ >Bring girlfriend home >No one else is there >Ask for a b------ >She give it >S--- is cash >uh oh >S--- is literal cash >start rocketing 50's out of my ass >Never stops >Nation wide inflation occurs >Thousands of families lose their jobs and homes >America loses its position as a super power >Russia sees our weakness >After 17 long years of war, America falls >Russia takes over, enstates communism >Because of communist laws, my girfiend is entitled to a b------ >She begins s------- rubbles, 10,000 a second >inflation occurs again >Russian controlled America falls victim to widespread poverty >The cycle continues >mfw despite spiraling the world into chaos I still got head O Anonymous (ID: 6timwWoF) 08/30/12(Thu)23:36:36 No.422260087 wat Anonymous (ID: rzTZnJ+A) 08/30/12(Thu)23:37:27 No.422260236 wat Anonymous (ID: FZIVPL9X) 08/30/12(Thu)23:38:04 No.422260347 wat

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Anon has been fooled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)21:29:29 No.851404566 >be me >straight but have an interest in trap p--- >download grindr >meet twink who could easily pass off as a chick 38 KB JPG >we meet up and go back to my place >he pulls down his pants just enough for me to see his a------ >idc s---- cash >tightest a------ ever >coom after a few mins >twink turns around and takes off clothes >entire r--- dwarf colony stacked atop eachother >try running but they bite my ankles >try fighting back but there's too many >tied down and ~50 enter my virgin boipuss >cry as they all cook inside >the one who acted as the face started face f------ me >he cooms >they all laugh as they begin to stack themselves again and leave my home Every god damn time
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)21:29:29 No.851404566 >be me >straight but have an interest in trap p--- >download grindr >meet twink who could easily pass off as a chick 38 KB JPG >we meet up and go back to my place >he pulls down his pants just enough for me to see his a------ >idc s---- cash >tightest a------ ever >coom after a few mins >twink turns around and takes off clothes >entire r--- dwarf colony stacked atop eachother >try running but they bite my ankles >try fighting back but there's too many >tied down and ~50 enter my virgin boipuss >cry as they all cook inside >the one who acted as the face started face f------ me >he cooms >they all laugh as they begin to stack themselves again and leave my home Every god damn time

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Anon becomes a wagie | /r/Greentext

12m (12/19 21:51) · 66630008 2 Re · 1 Img · GIF · 705KB · (510 × 510) 1 Reply NOT MY PROBLEM >tfw working a super easy office job making $22/hr, so little work to do that I spend almost the entire day just watching videos and browsing the internet >can buy anything I want because I get ~$750 per week, meanwhile NEETcucks have to leech off their parents and be cautious about spending on anything becoming a wagie was the best thing to happen to me
12m (12/19 21:51) · 66630008 2 Re · 1 Img · GIF · 705KB · (510 × 510) 1 Reply NOT MY PROBLEM >tfw working a super easy office job making $22/hr, so little work to do that I spend almost the entire day just watching videos and browsing the internet >can buy anything I want because I get ~$750 per week, meanwhile NEETcucks have to leech off their parents and be cautious about spending on anything becoming a wagie was the best thing to happen to me

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Anon has a warning for all of us virgins | /r/Greentext


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Anon has friends over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/09/18(Thu)16:22:09 No.776717402 >be me yesterday >parents on vacation, home alone >have 2 mates and 2 9/10 girls over one night >my chad friend immediately claims one for himself 85 KB JPG >other mate not really trying, I see my chance >green eyed short blonde, f------ angel >same odd music taste and generally likes all the not-your-every-day things I like >try everything subtle in my rule book, nothing works >she somehow always ends up with other mate >mildlydepressed.wav >had a few beers as well >she goes to bathroom, ask mate if he intends on doing anything >"i noticed you eyeing her so i didn't do anything, but she told me came over because of me and she has been crushing on me for a while" >heart sinks >"okay bro, shes all yours" >"you sure anon?" >"yes mate, why would you waste your chance cause of me, don't, all is good, go get 'er" >choke back any display of emotion >nods back to me in appretiation >chad and girl 1 go to my room >mate and girl 2 go to other bed room >go to sleep alone I died a little on the inside but bros come first. Did I do right? 9 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 08/09/18(Thu)16:22:09 No.776717402 >be me yesterday >parents on vacation, home alone >have 2 mates and 2 9/10 girls over one night >my chad friend immediately claims one for himself 85 KB JPG >other mate not really trying, I see my chance >green eyed short blonde, f------ angel >same odd music taste and generally likes all the not-your-every-day things I like >try everything subtle in my rule book, nothing works >she somehow always ends up with other mate >mildlydepressed.wav >had a few beers as well >she goes to bathroom, ask mate if he intends on doing anything >"i noticed you eyeing her so i didn't do anything, but she told me came over because of me and she has been crushing on me for a while" >heart sinks >"okay bro, shes all yours" >"you sure anon?" >"yes mate, why would you waste your chance cause of me, don't, all is good, go get 'er" >choke back any display of emotion >nods back to me in appretiation >chad and girl 1 go to my room >mate and girl 2 go to other bed room >go to sleep alone I died a little on the inside but bros come first. Did I do right? 9 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon finds the loop hole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ST2CWOMV )[1 08/10/18(Fri)10:38:46 No.181812728 >be me at 12 years old inschool >in math >had to have our parents sign a test in which i didn't do good, so i didn't show it to them and they didn't sign 85 KB PNG >teacher asks to see our test >f---.jpeg >raise my hand, ask to go to the bathroom because i feel like throwing up >masturbate until bell rings
: Anonymous (ID: ST2CWOMV )[1 08/10/18(Fri)10:38:46 No.181812728 >be me at 12 years old inschool >in math >had to have our parents sign a test in which i didn't do good, so i didn't show it to them and they didn't sign 85 KB PNG >teacher asks to see our test >f---.jpeg >raise my hand, ask to go to the bathroom because i feel like throwing up >masturbate until bell rings

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Anon not crying! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/20(Mon)10:06:59 No.60734934 >talking to girl about something personal >start to get emotional, start crying >straight up autistically say crying in front of women is gay and it is making me look weak, so I 166 KB JPG stopped >"but I care about you, showing emotions is what you should do, it's not gay. I'm here for you, it's okay." what the f--- did she mean by this? is she making fun of me? I just ignored her. what a f------ w----. 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/02/20(Mon)10:06:59 No.60734934 >talking to girl about something personal >start to get emotional, start crying >straight up autistically say crying in front of women is gay and it is making me look weak, so I 166 KB JPG stopped >"but I care about you, showing emotions is what you should do, it's not gay. I'm here for you, it's okay." what the f--- did she mean by this? is she making fun of me? I just ignored her. what a f------ w----. 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon plays Portal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Portal. 11/18/21(Thu)21:05:46 No.578575809 >install portal >launch game and mess around >portal opens revealing you play as a woman >immediately uninstall game and leave negative review 104 KB JPG
: Anonymous Portal. 11/18/21(Thu)21:05:46 No.578575809 >install portal >launch game and mess around >portal opens revealing you play as a woman >immediately uninstall game and leave negative review 104 KB JPG

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Anon’s milkshake did not go the full nine yards | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/20(Fri)17:24:19 No.820711963 >be me >engaged >kinda fat but thats fine >get wife a milkshake >man at dairy queen asks if its for me 9 KB JPG >"no, its for my fiance? why." >calls me a fatass. >gives it to my fiance >goes off at me bc shes vegan now and i forgot >calls off wedding bc "i cant do this one task right, so how cani do an entire wedding" >mfw my wife leaves me for a milkshake 21 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/14/20(Fri)17:56:24 No.820713940 >>820713859 # bet
: Anonymous 02/14/20(Fri)17:24:19 No.820711963 >be me >engaged >kinda fat but thats fine >get wife a milkshake >man at dairy queen asks if its for me 9 KB JPG >"no, its for my fiance? why." >calls me a fatass. >gives it to my fiance >goes off at me bc shes vegan now and i forgot >calls off wedding bc "i cant do this one task right, so how cani do an entire wedding" >mfw my wife leaves me for a milkshake 21 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/14/20(Fri)17:56:24 No.820713940 >>820713859 # bet

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Up the water spout | /r/Greentext


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Anon blames it on the cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)06:01:25 No.738235551 >be me >be seven >piss all over my sisters bed >blame it on the cat >mom kills cat with brick outside >mfw 6 KB JPG >>738236821 # >>738237004 # >>738239172 # >>738239202 # : Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)06:24:22 No.738236821 >>738235551 # >mom kills cat with brick outside What was it like growing up as white trash? : Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)06:27:29 No.738237004 >>738235551 # >killing a cat for piss bed your mon is a pshycho, dude : Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)07:04:05 No.738239172 >>738235551 # Jesus christ you mom needs medical assistance Imao.
: Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)06:01:25 No.738235551 >be me >be seven >piss all over my sisters bed >blame it on the cat >mom kills cat with brick outside >mfw 6 KB JPG >>738236821 # >>738237004 # >>738239172 # >>738239202 # : Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)06:24:22 No.738236821 >>738235551 # >mom kills cat with brick outside What was it like growing up as white trash? : Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)06:27:29 No.738237004 >>738235551 # >killing a cat for piss bed your mon is a pshycho, dude : Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat)07:04:05 No.738239172 >>738235551 # Jesus christ you mom needs medical assistance Imao.

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Anon works on his project | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Minion cumjar project 01/20/20(Mon)23:33:56 No.56360161 Anons im at day 6 of the minion cumjar project. The c-- finally reaches the wider part, the filling will only accelerate now 280 KB JPG : anon 01/20/20(Mon)23:52:24 No.56360482 O results Searched over 36.2 billion images Using TinEye is private. We do not non-commercial purposes. For bu Screenshot (13).png 43 KB PNG if there is a god above he weeps
: Anonymous Minion cumjar project 01/20/20(Mon)23:33:56 No.56360161 Anons im at day 6 of the minion cumjar project. The c-- finally reaches the wider part, the filling will only accelerate now 280 KB JPG : anon 01/20/20(Mon)23:52:24 No.56360482 O results Searched over 36.2 billion images Using TinEye is private. We do not non-commercial purposes. For bu Screenshot (13).png 43 KB PNG if there is a god above he weeps

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Anon experiences infantile amnesia | /r/Greentext


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My first greentext post how'd I do | /r/Greentext

: Anon One day in auto class 02/10/19(Sun)11:57:55 No.20379756 >be me >in grade12 highschool auto class >teacher is actually real close with all students >constantly swears and tells jokes, calls black people 'Nagras' and explicitly tells us how much he 74 KB PNG hated his neighbors >one day he's telling the class a story about spending the night at someone else place >completely zone the f--- out of this boring story >"ah man it's great! You get to eat *their* food. Sleep in *their* bed. Use *their* Netflix account..." >snapbacktoreality.jpeg >chime in for funny joke >"f--- *their* wives" >whole class cracks up >teacher looks in awe at me as if I didn't say what he thinks I just said >in my head I'm thinking about why he didn't laugh, he'd love that joke >teacher continues to tell story about spending the weekend at his sons house >mfw
: Anon One day in auto class 02/10/19(Sun)11:57:55 No.20379756 >be me >in grade12 highschool auto class >teacher is actually real close with all students >constantly swears and tells jokes, calls black people 'Nagras' and explicitly tells us how much he 74 KB PNG hated his neighbors >one day he's telling the class a story about spending the night at someone else place >completely zone the f--- out of this boring story >"ah man it's great! You get to eat *their* food. Sleep in *their* bed. Use *their* Netflix account..." >snapbacktoreality.jpeg >chime in for funny joke >"f--- *their* wives" >whole class cracks up >teacher looks in awe at me as if I didn't say what he thinks I just said >in my head I'm thinking about why he didn't laugh, he'd love that joke >teacher continues to tell story about spending the weekend at his sons house >mfw

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Even further from home | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/16(Tue)20:11:08 No.75697195 hqdefault 0.jpg 11 KB JPG >oh, you're sad because a girl at your high-school doesn't like you back? Peter, when I was your age, I left school to bullseye g---- from a helicopter in the middle of some god forsaken jungle. Don't tell me you have it hard because you're a pathetic kissless virgin. You can act sad when you have to leave behind the lady-boy you fell in love with and made passionate steamy love to in a collapsing bamboo shack, just like I did. You think I felt good about firebombing his chink village and watching our f----hut burn to the ground? We were going to build our lives together there, Peter! You know what? F--- you. Get the f--- out of my car. >>75697234 # >>75697332 # >>75698895 # >75702735 #
: Anonymous 10/25/16(Tue)20:11:08 No.75697195 hqdefault 0.jpg 11 KB JPG >oh, you're sad because a girl at your high-school doesn't like you back? Peter, when I was your age, I left school to bullseye g---- from a helicopter in the middle of some god forsaken jungle. Don't tell me you have it hard because you're a pathetic kissless virgin. You can act sad when you have to leave behind the lady-boy you fell in love with and made passionate steamy love to in a collapsing bamboo shack, just like I did. You think I felt good about firebombing his chink village and watching our f----hut burn to the ground? We were going to build our lives together there, Peter! You know what? F--- you. Get the f--- out of my car. >>75697234 # >>75697332 # >>75698895 # >75702735 #

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Short and stout | /r/Greentext


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Me when the when | /r/Greentext

atom] [Update] Auto] Ing (18 KB, 389x389) IAnonymous 05/ >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy.
atom] [Update] Auto] Ing (18 KB, 389x389) IAnonymous 05/ >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy.

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Anon was molested. | /r/Greentext

No. 868895110 56 minutes ago 5C939776-ECA8-4006-8823-7291B153ED8D.jpg JPG 89.6 KİB 462x518 >be me >be 12 >in a kindergarten to 12th grade school >end up meeting girl because we both do archery >we become nearly instantly friends and start hanging out after school >always goto her house because she had a PlayStation and I didn't >played a lot of ddr together >always usually had a lot of moments where she told me to lay on her lap or have her brush against me >didn't see a problem with it at the time fast forward a few months >13 now >still hang out almost every day >end up staying the night because my dad couldn't pick me up because the roads were way to icy >stay up late as her parents weren't home >end up getting ready to pass out on the couch >"Oh, anon you can sleep in my room" >cool, don't have to sleep on the couch >end up getting into bed with her >she says she's just going to quickly get ready for bed >basically just takes her clothes off aside from her underwear >don't see a problem, still don't know what jacking off or sex is >she ends up touching me and eventually I end up cooming >felt scared and weird the entire time >every day for two years after whenever we would hang out she would bring me somewhere secluded or alone and jerk me off and make fun of how small my penis was >fast forward to today >remember >feel terrible and disgusted because I had no idea what was happening Was this really as bad as I feel it was?
No. 868895110 56 minutes ago 5C939776-ECA8-4006-8823-7291B153ED8D.jpg JPG 89.6 KİB 462x518 >be me >be 12 >in a kindergarten to 12th grade school >end up meeting girl because we both do archery >we become nearly instantly friends and start hanging out after school >always goto her house because she had a PlayStation and I didn't >played a lot of ddr together >always usually had a lot of moments where she told me to lay on her lap or have her brush against me >didn't see a problem with it at the time fast forward a few months >13 now >still hang out almost every day >end up staying the night because my dad couldn't pick me up because the roads were way to icy >stay up late as her parents weren't home >end up getting ready to pass out on the couch >"Oh, anon you can sleep in my room" >cool, don't have to sleep on the couch >end up getting into bed with her >she says she's just going to quickly get ready for bed >basically just takes her clothes off aside from her underwear >don't see a problem, still don't know what jacking off or sex is >she ends up touching me and eventually I end up cooming >felt scared and weird the entire time >every day for two years after whenever we would hang out she would bring me somewhere secluded or alone and jerk me off and make fun of how small my penis was >fast forward to today >remember >feel terrible and disgusted because I had no idea what was happening Was this really as bad as I feel it was?

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