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Joe Rogan Greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ebzig9iX ) E 08/01/18(Wed)16:18:41 No.180822043 >>180822173 >>180822180 >180822460 >>180823379 >>180824633 File: joe-rogan-podcast jpg (30 KB, 600x400) >"The thing is." >Joe leans into the mic >"Fat isn't the problem. Carbs and sugar is the problem. Ever eat nuts, man? Nuts are great for you." S"uh. yeah, I eat nuts. I used to pick peanuts back PRIDE when I was a kid and they were in season." >"Nice, nice. Like, from a tree?" >"No, they grow in the ground." >Joe nearly s---- himself in surprise >"What!?" >His guest tries not to sound condescending >"Peanuts grow in the ground, kind of like-" >"Jamie, Google this right now. Jamie, Google "peanuts growing in ground". HOLÝ S---." S"Yeah, just like that. They grow in the ground like potatoes." >"Well." >Joe Rogan breathes heavily into the mic >"That makes sense. They couldn't grow on trees because squirrels would f--- them up. Imagine that? Imagine how much squirrels would f--- up a peanut tree. Squirrels are basically tiny chimpanzees."
Anonymous (ID: ebzig9iX ) E 08/01/18(Wed)16:18:41 No.180822043 >>180822173 >>180822180 >180822460 >>180823379 >>180824633 File: joe-rogan-podcast jpg (30 KB, 600x400) >"The thing is." >Joe leans into the mic >"Fat isn't the problem. Carbs and sugar is the problem. Ever eat nuts, man? Nuts are great for you." S"uh. yeah, I eat nuts. I used to pick peanuts back PRIDE when I was a kid and they were in season." >"Nice, nice. Like, from a tree?" >"No, they grow in the ground." >Joe nearly s---- himself in surprise >"What!?" >His guest tries not to sound condescending >"Peanuts grow in the ground, kind of like-" >"Jamie, Google this right now. Jamie, Google "peanuts growing in ground". HOLÝ S---." S"Yeah, just like that. They grow in the ground like potatoes." >"Well." >Joe Rogan breathes heavily into the mic >"That makes sense. They couldn't grow on trees because squirrels would f--- them up. Imagine that? Imagine how much squirrels would f--- up a peanut tree. Squirrels are basically tiny chimpanzees."

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Anon is not gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)12:52:18 No.43637642 >Ex broke up with me after dating for a year last month >Something about us 'Not being compatible', aka code speak for she's f------ chad behind my back >l'm f------ p----- >Devise a perfect plan to make her 980 KB GIF jealous and get her back >Live in LA, gym is full of twinks and other f--- >I'm a pretty big guy so they're easy to pick up >Take them home, make them wear girl clothes and f--- them silly >Take a picture every time when their d--- is out of the shot and send it to my ex >She thinks I'm f------ 2 different girls every week >This continues for about a month, until she approaches me, and asks if we want to get back together >Tell her to f--- off and go back to being a w---- I'm not even gay but I think I've devised the world's best revenge method.
: Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)12:52:18 No.43637642 >Ex broke up with me after dating for a year last month >Something about us 'Not being compatible', aka code speak for she's f------ chad behind my back >l'm f------ p----- >Devise a perfect plan to make her 980 KB GIF jealous and get her back >Live in LA, gym is full of twinks and other f--- >I'm a pretty big guy so they're easy to pick up >Take them home, make them wear girl clothes and f--- them silly >Take a picture every time when their d--- is out of the shot and send it to my ex >She thinks I'm f------ 2 different girls every week >This continues for about a month, until she approaches me, and asks if we want to get back together >Tell her to f--- off and go back to being a w---- I'm not even gay but I think I've devised the world's best revenge method.

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Anon sees his chance and takes it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)08:19:24 No.62989509 OFF'ing myself right now. Goodbye 4chan. >broke uni student >mother is meth head >dad is p--- >snooped through my younger sisters internet history and found t----- p--- 985 KB JPG >gf left me just 1 week ago >been drinking nonstop >grades are collapsing Thank you all for the amazing memories, I've treasured them. And thank you for always being my favorite board. 23 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)10:44:21 No.62990863 Bro I feel you... Could you maybe help a bro out and buy me gta3 on steam? I know you won't be needing that money after you die right?
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)08:19:24 No.62989509 OFF'ing myself right now. Goodbye 4chan. >broke uni student >mother is meth head >dad is p--- >snooped through my younger sisters internet history and found t----- p--- 985 KB JPG >gf left me just 1 week ago >been drinking nonstop >grades are collapsing Thank you all for the amazing memories, I've treasured them. And thank you for always being my favorite board. 23 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)10:44:21 No.62990863 Bro I feel you... Could you maybe help a bro out and buy me gta3 on steam? I know you won't be needing that money after you die right?

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Anon hits the jackpot | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)19:43:23 No.554686786 File: 1617048593725.jpg (6 KB, 236x285) >vending machine stole a dollar >smack the machine on the side >critical hit >all the snacks fall down
Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)19:43:23 No.554686786 File: 1617048593725.jpg (6 KB, 236x285) >vending machine stole a dollar >smack the machine on the side >critical hit >all the snacks fall down

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Anon is a modern day Robinhood | /r/Greentext


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Anon finds something out about his girlfriend | /r/Greentext


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Anon likes trains | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:31:39 No.777406632 >you will never own a real train 207 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:34:04 No.777406758 yeah that is kind of sad. trains are cool. : Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:40:18 No.777407058 248 KB JPG
Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:31:39 No.777406632 >you will never own a real train 207 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:34:04 No.777406758 yeah that is kind of sad. trains are cool. : Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:40:18 No.777407058 248 KB JPG

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Stubble Trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)01:20:55 No.66636229 >be me 27 >never even had a girl remotely interested in me >grow out a beard >start getting noticeable attention from femoids >lots of heavy flirting >figure they just want attention 43 KВ ЈPG >make a tinder >mix and match pics of me shaved and with a beard >get a s--- ton of likes in the first few hours >dozens of messages saying "please tell me you still have the beard" >one girl literally says, "you're legit a 4/10 without a beard, and a solid 8 with one" Lads, grow out the beard, beards are literally a biological crutch for ugly retards : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)01:24:41 No.66636269 Okay, making this my new Tinder pic, wish me luck 762 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)01:20:55 No.66636229 >be me 27 >never even had a girl remotely interested in me >grow out a beard >start getting noticeable attention from femoids >lots of heavy flirting >figure they just want attention 43 KВ ЈPG >make a tinder >mix and match pics of me shaved and with a beard >get a s--- ton of likes in the first few hours >dozens of messages saying "please tell me you still have the beard" >one girl literally says, "you're legit a 4/10 without a beard, and a solid 8 with one" Lads, grow out the beard, beards are literally a biological crutch for ugly retards : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)01:24:41 No.66636269 Okay, making this my new Tinder pic, wish me luck 762 KB JPG

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Anon is winning | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)00:06:09 No.868926893 >>868926961 >>868926964 >be me >about to have sex with this girl >we undress >she looks at my d--- and smiles >"Anon your d--- is so small" >l immediately reply >"So are your boobs" >she leaves Did I win? >> Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)00:07:28 No.868926961 * O Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)00:07:31 No.868926964 >>868926893 (OP) f--- yeah you won, son. That's winning in life
O Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)00:06:09 No.868926893 >>868926961 >>868926964 >be me >about to have sex with this girl >we undress >she looks at my d--- and smiles >"Anon your d--- is so small" >l immediately reply >"So are your boobs" >she leaves Did I win? >> Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)00:07:28 No.868926961 * O Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)00:07:31 No.868926964 >>868926893 (OP) f--- yeah you won, son. That's winning in life

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House Anon | /r/Greentext


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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

CO7BD04E-OFCC-4702-97A7-2369253576C2.jpg 51 KB JPG >Parents make me go to a therapist because I shat in the shower again >Sit completely still and make direct eye contact the entire time >Answer all of his questions with a question >At the end I shake his hand and look into his eyes >He looks away Is this what power feels like?
CO7BD04E-OFCC-4702-97A7-2369253576C2.jpg 51 KB JPG >Parents make me go to a therapist because I shat in the shower again >Sit completely still and make direct eye contact the entire time >Answer all of his questions with a question >At the end I shake his hand and look into his eyes >He looks away Is this what power feels like?

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Anon shares a sexual experience | /r/Greentext


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Anon's success story | /r/Greentext


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Anon "looses" | /r/Greentext

True story >Be me >Be 30 mins ago >Be virgin >Feelsbaman >Meet cute girl >Drive to girls house, watch some GOT and then we head up to her room >oHshit.avi 75.0 kB JPG >She starts kissing me >next thing i know im eating her out >Think about the stupid post where someone made a girl c-- by spelling out 'AyyLmao' on her vagina. >Laugh >Erection lost >Dosent come back Why did i loose my best opportunity to loose my virginity thanks to you f---.
True story >Be me >Be 30 mins ago >Be virgin >Feelsbaman >Meet cute girl >Drive to girls house, watch some GOT and then we head up to her room >oHshit.avi 75.0 kB JPG >She starts kissing me >next thing i know im eating her out >Think about the stupid post where someone made a girl c-- by spelling out 'AyyLmao' on her vagina. >Laugh >Erection lost >Dosent come back Why did i loose my best opportunity to loose my virginity thanks to you f---.

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Anon discovers an exploit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)09:23:35 No.854084977 >be me >find half a dollar note on ground >bring it to bank to get full dollar >gets idea >rips dollar note >get full dollar for one half >get another dollar for the other 29 KB JPG half at a different bank >have 2 dollars >mfw I find money duplication glitch View Thread
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)09:23:35 No.854084977 >be me >find half a dollar note on ground >bring it to bank to get full dollar >gets idea >rips dollar note >get full dollar for one half >get another dollar for the other 29 KB JPG half at a different bank >have 2 dollars >mfw I find money duplication glitch View Thread

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Crabanon doesn't evolve further | /r/Greentext

>NO00 you cant just grab me at the back of my shell where i cant pinch you!!! 104 KB JPG
>NO00 you cant just grab me at the back of my shell where i cant pinch you!!! 104 KB JPG

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Anon sees a woman | /r/Greentext


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anon gets the last laugh | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:18:04 No.816697201 >t----- >bike home from work >ride past a group of teen-agers >get wolf-wistled at >turn around and yell "ew thats gay" in my manliest voice >bike away while his friends laugh 40 KB JPG at him 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:25:53 No.816697581 >>816697201 (OP) # Man T gay Lol TraP Sca kek 下! 149 KB JPG TENCO3DSEweE
: Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:18:04 No.816697201 >t----- >bike home from work >ride past a group of teen-agers >get wolf-wistled at >turn around and yell "ew thats gay" in my manliest voice >bike away while his friends laugh 40 KB JPG at him 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:25:53 No.816697581 >>816697201 (OP) # Man T gay Lol TraP Sca kek 下! 149 KB JPG TENCO3DSEweE

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Anon plays Wolfenstein | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 543509053 2 sa. önce •.. >agree with the antagonist >die to him intentionally >uninstall game and tell everyone you finished it 102,8 kB JPG 9 REPLİES 6 İMAGES REPLY
Anonymous 543509053 2 sa. önce •.. >agree with the antagonist >die to him intentionally >uninstall game and tell everyone you finished it 102,8 kB JPG 9 REPLİES 6 İMAGES REPLY

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Three of hearts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)06:56:44 No.63778692 >be me >in the free weights section doing crunches with kettle bells >qt 3.14 is near doing dumbbells training >she's kinda hot. But imma focus 494 KB JPG on my exercise >let out an occasional groan from time to time because belly crunches with 30kg is hard for me. >2 guys come in. One picks up dumbells the other takes barbells. >they start groaning as well. >qt starts getting uncomfortable. Leaves pretty Soon after. >finished a rep and see the 2 guys looking at each other then at me. >we all smile >go back into doing our thing. >Still hear groaning occasionally.
: Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)06:56:44 No.63778692 >be me >in the free weights section doing crunches with kettle bells >qt 3.14 is near doing dumbbells training >she's kinda hot. But imma focus 494 KB JPG on my exercise >let out an occasional groan from time to time because belly crunches with 30kg is hard for me. >2 guys come in. One picks up dumbells the other takes barbells. >they start groaning as well. >qt starts getting uncomfortable. Leaves pretty Soon after. >finished a rep and see the 2 guys looking at each other then at me. >we all smile >go back into doing our thing. >Still hear groaning occasionally.

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