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Anon likes to break logs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)14:42:37 No.3829867 >at friends house as teenagers >fat >gotta s--- >clog their small ass toilet >toxic stew of giant logs of s---, piss and wads of tp >no plunger >away for 15 minutes already >it's their only bathroom and his parents will be back soon >panic and reach into the bowl >grab and squeeze all these logs of s--- to break them up >the smell is vile >one still stuck in the drain >crook my wrist, stick hand in drain and grab the end of a log with fingertips >turd water splashing all over me >somehow manage to pull it back out >break that up >flush three times >wash my hands up to the elbow, it still smells >tell him i'm not feeling well and leave >take a two mile walk of shame home >>3829941 #
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)14:42:37 No.3829867 >at friends house as teenagers >fat >gotta s--- >clog their small ass toilet >toxic stew of giant logs of s---, piss and wads of tp >no plunger >away for 15 minutes already >it's their only bathroom and his parents will be back soon >panic and reach into the bowl >grab and squeeze all these logs of s--- to break them up >the smell is vile >one still stuck in the drain >crook my wrist, stick hand in drain and grab the end of a log with fingertips >turd water splashing all over me >somehow manage to pull it back out >break that up >flush three times >wash my hands up to the elbow, it still smells >tell him i'm not feeling well and leave >take a two mile walk of shame home >>3829941 #

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Why, zuck? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: hEtkkpl1 04/11/18(Wed)11:48:39 No.167676599 CAPITOL HILL 4:17 PM ET baseline_way_off.jpg 48 KB JPG >The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that, Mark?
: Anonymous (ID: hEtkkpl1 04/11/18(Wed)11:48:39 No.167676599 CAPITOL HILL 4:17 PM ET baseline_way_off.jpg 48 KB JPG >The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that, Mark?

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Anon IMPALES Gobby's lies | /r/Greentext


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Anon got the vaccine | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)20:54:38 No.66647830 >got the vaccine >got covid anyway Just in time for christmas 302 KB JPG
Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)20:54:38 No.66647830 >got the vaccine >got covid anyway Just in time for christmas 302 KB JPG

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Fright night | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)23:45:08 No.66649744 >watches a horror film with some female family members >not even a good film, but a s----- new one >family are all p------ and too scared to watch it 10 KB JPG >they keep complaining >40 year old aunt covers her face through most of it Why are they like this? Is it common for women to be like this? : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)23:46:24 No.66649760 >>66649744 (OP) # make them watch the human centipede Imao
: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)23:45:08 No.66649744 >watches a horror film with some female family members >not even a good film, but a s----- new one >family are all p------ and too scared to watch it 10 KB JPG >they keep complaining >40 year old aunt covers her face through most of it Why are they like this? Is it common for women to be like this? : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)23:46:24 No.66649760 >>66649744 (OP) # make them watch the human centipede Imao

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What's his secret? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:42:03 No.39596368 >is fat/looks fat >doesn't lift >only eats fish and berries >still faster and stronger than 100% of /fit/ 1.95 MB PNG What is his secret? : Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:44:34 No.39596401 He's happy >>39598722 # >>39600157 # >>39601419 # >>39604092 # >>39604310 # >>39604367 # >>39604613 #
: Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:42:03 No.39596368 >is fat/looks fat >doesn't lift >only eats fish and berries >still faster and stronger than 100% of /fit/ 1.95 MB PNG What is his secret? : Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:44:34 No.39596401 He's happy >>39598722 # >>39600157 # >>39601419 # >>39604092 # >>39604310 # >>39604367 # >>39604613 #

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Anon fuckes up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)09:54:45 No.776769563 >be me 24yo female >virgin and actually friendless >been working the same job for 2 years and not have a single friend at work >dude that has been working with me for a year and has never 165 KB JPG acknowledged me, randomly asks me out >desperate so I say yes >had sex cuz I really wanted to loose my virginity >missed period >got pregnant >gave birth a month ago >he quit the job we shared and blocked my number haven't seen him since the birth of our son
: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)09:54:45 No.776769563 >be me 24yo female >virgin and actually friendless >been working the same job for 2 years and not have a single friend at work >dude that has been working with me for a year and has never 165 KB JPG acknowledged me, randomly asks me out >desperate so I say yes >had sex cuz I really wanted to loose my virginity >missed period >got pregnant >gave birth a month ago >he quit the job we shared and blocked my number haven't seen him since the birth of our son

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Anon remembers the past | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/09/18(Thu)23:31:45 No.47407001 >many years ago >i wrote a minecraft version of an imagine dragons song >haunts my memories 48 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/09/18(Thu)23:31:45 No.47407001 >many years ago >i wrote a minecraft version of an imagine dragons song >haunts my memories 48 KB JPG

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Anon reconnects with an old friend | /r/Greentext

File: dsafvearsvszdf.jpg (34 KB, 600x600) Anonymous 10/20/21(Mon)19:14:11 No.868979630 >Dad has p------------ ex that rinsed him of a bunch of money >Years since I've spoken to her >She randomly messages me on facebook >"How you been? How's your dad?" bla bla bla >Text my dad saying she's popped up asking to talk >"Just ignore her anon she's bad news" >Curious what she wants, continue to small talk >Eventually she says "Has your dad heard about my accident?" >Accident? >Check her profile >Lost her f------ legs in a car accident at some point >Text dad again >"I couldn't give a f--- about her accident" >understandablehaveaniceday.png >Devil on my shoulder hatches a plan >Do some googling >Message her a number saying it's my dad's >It's the f------ Hot Wheels helpline >5 minutes go by >Any second now >"Do you think thatťs f------ funny anon?" I'm telling you /b/ros I haven't laughed that f------ hard in a long time. Feel like l'd just finished a workout. Anyway that was the last I heard from her as it happens. F--- that bitch.
File: dsafvearsvszdf.jpg (34 KB, 600x600) Anonymous 10/20/21(Mon)19:14:11 No.868979630 >Dad has p------------ ex that rinsed him of a bunch of money >Years since I've spoken to her >She randomly messages me on facebook >"How you been? How's your dad?" bla bla bla >Text my dad saying she's popped up asking to talk >"Just ignore her anon she's bad news" >Curious what she wants, continue to small talk >Eventually she says "Has your dad heard about my accident?" >Accident? >Check her profile >Lost her f------ legs in a car accident at some point >Text dad again >"I couldn't give a f--- about her accident" >understandablehaveaniceday.png >Devil on my shoulder hatches a plan >Do some googling >Message her a number saying it's my dad's >It's the f------ Hot Wheels helpline >5 minutes go by >Any second now >"Do you think thatťs f------ funny anon?" I'm telling you /b/ros I haven't laughed that f------ hard in a long time. Feel like l'd just finished a workout. Anyway that was the last I heard from her as it happens. F--- that bitch.

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Anon has a special place | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)14:47:42 No.776766079 >father found semen sanctuary 289 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)14:47:42 No.776766079 >father found semen sanctuary 289 KB JPG

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Anon likes it thin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:14:50 No.868991567 what would you do to her? HERT 59 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:15:29 No.868991601 Take her to a gym, and leave her there
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:14:50 No.868991567 what would you do to her? HERT 59 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:15:29 No.868991601 Take her to a gym, and leave her there

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We have an Orca within us. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately : Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >>778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >>778248236 # >>778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >>778248248 # Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248229 # >>778248272 # >>778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >we >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # 207 KB PNG >>778248321 # >>778248351 # >>778248397 # >>778248611 # >>778248815 # >>778248875 # >>778249065 # >>778250198 # >>778250913 # >>778251090 # >>778251464 #
: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately : Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >>778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >>778248236 # >>778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >>778248248 # Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248229 # >>778248272 # >>778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >we >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # 207 KB PNG >>778248321 # >>778248351 # >>778248397 # >>778248611 # >>778248815 # >>778248875 # >>778249065 # >>778250198 # >>778250913 # >>778251090 # >>778251464 #

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Anon has a sexual awakening | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/19/21(Sun)22:50:51 No.868944635 >be me, 18 male, tall, big >be not me, 7/10 qt fwb i have been on and off with for about 4 months >she has always joked about me killing her and her liking it if i did >get done with movie date and driving 12 KB JPG her home >ask if she were to be killed by someone how would she want to die > her "have the best day of my life with the murderer then have him stab me" >me "what about strangling?" >her "yeah that would work to" >i pull over the car and ask her if she had a good time with me >her "anon stop you're not funny" >i unbuckle my seat belt and turn towards her with a straight face > she starts crying hysterically >her "please dont kill me i dont want to die" >mfw her begging to not be killed gave me the hardest boner of my life Is this normal?
: Anonymous 12/19/21(Sun)22:50:51 No.868944635 >be me, 18 male, tall, big >be not me, 7/10 qt fwb i have been on and off with for about 4 months >she has always joked about me killing her and her liking it if i did >get done with movie date and driving 12 KB JPG her home >ask if she were to be killed by someone how would she want to die > her "have the best day of my life with the murderer then have him stab me" >me "what about strangling?" >her "yeah that would work to" >i pull over the car and ask her if she had a good time with me >her "anon stop you're not funny" >i unbuckle my seat belt and turn towards her with a straight face > she starts crying hysterically >her "please dont kill me i dont want to die" >mfw her begging to not be killed gave me the hardest boner of my life Is this normal?

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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)11:08:28 No.869012367 >Join a discord >Start talking >Chat goes dead 63 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)11:08:28 No.869012367 >Join a discord >Start talking >Chat goes dead 63 KB JPG

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Anon can’t be naked in his own room anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)12:29:14 No.869000123 >b me 15 mins ago >currently like 40°c in australia >wearing only my boxer shorts >blanket over my shorts with legs and upper body hanging out so I'm basically naked 15 KB PNG >knock on the door. "Come in" I say, thinking it was a family member >11/10 opens the door >quite audibly say who the f--- are you >she's the real estate agent coming to "check the windows" >she grins and closes the door This was not a good grin bros. I don't feel comfortable in my own house anymore. She's definitely going to tell her Stacy and chad friends about this at a Christmas party
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)12:29:14 No.869000123 >b me 15 mins ago >currently like 40°c in australia >wearing only my boxer shorts >blanket over my shorts with legs and upper body hanging out so I'm basically naked 15 KB PNG >knock on the door. "Come in" I say, thinking it was a family member >11/10 opens the door >quite audibly say who the f--- are you >she's the real estate agent coming to "check the windows" >she grins and closes the door This was not a good grin bros. I don't feel comfortable in my own house anymore. She's definitely going to tell her Stacy and chad friends about this at a Christmas party

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Hauling freight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:39:01 No.66646800 >you just moved into a new apartment >your next door neighbor is the girl you had a crush on in high school >back then, she was skinny and considered one of the prettiest girls in 969 KB PNG school >pic related is what she looks like now What would you do in this situation? : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:41:06 No.66646821 >>66647759 # >>66647940 # : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)20:44:09 No.66647668 >>66646800 (OP) # >fireman carry her to the chinese buffet >firemen carry back to my 250 sq ft apartment and f--- her on my futon easy >>66647755 # >>66647953 #
: Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:39:01 No.66646800 >you just moved into a new apartment >your next door neighbor is the girl you had a crush on in high school >back then, she was skinny and considered one of the prettiest girls in 969 KB PNG school >pic related is what she looks like now What would you do in this situation? : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)19:41:06 No.66646821 >>66647759 # >>66647940 # : Anonymous 12/20/21(Mon)20:44:09 No.66647668 >>66646800 (OP) # >fireman carry her to the chinese buffet >firemen carry back to my 250 sq ft apartment and f--- her on my futon easy >>66647755 # >>66647953 #

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Anons are based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:11:16 No.868991392 She felt sleep. What should I do? 1.08 MB JPG 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:13:57 No.868991532 >>868991392 (OP) # Hang yourself >Imagine the keks when she wakes up : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:14:19 No.868991548 >>868991441 # close up ass shot : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:16:03 No.868991631 blanket. Leave the room. Go to your own room and wait for your dad to m----- you when you fall asleep
: Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:11:16 No.868991392 She felt sleep. What should I do? 1.08 MB JPG 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:13:57 No.868991532 >>868991392 (OP) # Hang yourself >Imagine the keks when she wakes up : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:14:19 No.868991548 >>868991441 # close up ass shot : Anonymous 12/21/21(Tue)04:16:03 No.868991631 blanket. Leave the room. Go to your own room and wait for your dad to m----- you when you fall asleep

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Anon can't be threatened | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/20(Wed)19:20:17 No.839866040 >go to buy some weed >dealer invites me up for dabs >tells me “just a heads up I have a P gun out" >"no problem man I grew up with guns" >walk up to his apartment 28 KB JPG >don't know what to talk about, ask him what type of guns he has >"uhh I have a 9mm pistol I don't know the brand >take a dab and buy my weed I'm just now realizing that it was a threat, not a concern over whether or not I was comfortable around guns
: Anonymous 11/11/20(Wed)19:20:17 No.839866040 >go to buy some weed >dealer invites me up for dabs >tells me “just a heads up I have a P gun out" >"no problem man I grew up with guns" >walk up to his apartment 28 KB JPG >don't know what to talk about, ask him what type of guns he has >"uhh I have a 9mm pistol I don't know the brand >take a dab and buy my weed I'm just now realizing that it was a threat, not a concern over whether or not I was comfortable around guns

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Reddit ruins anons fun :( | /r/Greentext


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Licence to REEEEEEEE | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: fvgOASRk 05/02/18(Wed)05:24: >be top tier british spy >need a licence to kill 59 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: fvgOASRk 05/02/18(Wed)05:24: >be top tier british spy >need a licence to kill 59 KB JPG

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