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Anon is a weirdo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/24/21(Fri)08:34:12 No.869215163 >had cousin (f14) sleep over my family's house >fell asleep watching movies >woke up with a weird feeling on my d--- >front of my shorts were pulled 59 KB JPG down and my d--- was out >cousin and my little sister were holding the tip of my foreskin open and looking at it with a flashlight >realize I am awake and they run to my sister's room >don't know w-- just happened >put my d--- away and go back to sleep >try and confront them about it next day >they play it off like I dreamt it and that I am the gross one for bringing it up >they tell my parents >I get in trouble for trying to explain what happened >parents think I am a sexual weirdo that wants to f--- my sister/cousin >still brought up as a joke to this day 20+ years later I hate it
: Anonymous 12/24/21(Fri)08:34:12 No.869215163 >had cousin (f14) sleep over my family's house >fell asleep watching movies >woke up with a weird feeling on my d--- >front of my shorts were pulled 59 KB JPG down and my d--- was out >cousin and my little sister were holding the tip of my foreskin open and looking at it with a flashlight >realize I am awake and they run to my sister's room >don't know w-- just happened >put my d--- away and go back to sleep >try and confront them about it next day >they play it off like I dreamt it and that I am the gross one for bringing it up >they tell my parents >I get in trouble for trying to explain what happened >parents think I am a sexual weirdo that wants to f--- my sister/cousin >still brought up as a joke to this day 20+ years later I hate it

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Anon takes shit in the office | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)14:40:16 No.869162489 >be me about 15 minutes ago 7. >need a s--- before 9am shift starts >it's 8:30, so no one around in the office 78 KB JPG >sit on toilet and unleash beer s---- from night before (it's Christmas f--- you) >suddenly hear door open >fuckfuckfuck why is someone here >they can obviously smell what I'm cooking >hear slow footsteps go towards other stall and stifled laughter >knock on stall door >"everything okay in there?" >lI'm startled, and accidentally let loose a wet, disgusting, prolonged fart for no less than 2-3 seconds. >silence >hear shuffling feet and door close Am I f-----? It's probably only me and him here at the office right now. I've been in here since it happened and I'm too scared to confront him. What do bros.
: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)14:40:16 No.869162489 >be me about 15 minutes ago 7. >need a s--- before 9am shift starts >it's 8:30, so no one around in the office 78 KB JPG >sit on toilet and unleash beer s---- from night before (it's Christmas f--- you) >suddenly hear door open >fuckfuckfuck why is someone here >they can obviously smell what I'm cooking >hear slow footsteps go towards other stall and stifled laughter >knock on stall door >"everything okay in there?" >lI'm startled, and accidentally let loose a wet, disgusting, prolonged fart for no less than 2-3 seconds. >silence >hear shuffling feet and door close Am I f-----? It's probably only me and him here at the office right now. I've been in here since it happened and I'm too scared to confront him. What do bros.

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Anon isn't pleased with the current state. | /r/Greentext


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10 Seconds to be as millennial as possible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #
: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >So I was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

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Anon faces a dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/19/21(Sun)22:52:53 No.64819243 >can't go into the gym because I'm not vaxxed wat do bros? I want to get swole. 61 KB JPG 52 Replies / 12 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 12/19/21(Sun)22:52:53 No.64819243 >can't go into the gym because I'm not vaxxed wat do bros? I want to get swole. 61 KB JPG 52 Replies / 12 Images View Thread

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Anons life is rigged. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG
Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG

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Anon sides with Palestine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 2JUSCV3U ) H 05/12/21(Wed)08:05:57 No.321166552 >>321166198 (OP) # I went to a arab store and ordered a kebab. I said: You heard on the news how the goddamn alyahadi Israelis are killing palestinian children. I get to cashier. Cashier says: Dont worry you dont have to pay its a gift. I go to Jew owned store and say: You heard what those terrorist palestinians are doing to israeli children? I go to cashier and cashier says: That would be 12.35€. I made the decision, i side with 50 KB JPG palestine. >>321167077 # >>321167702 # >>321170047 # >>321170108 #
: Anonymous (ID: 2JUSCV3U ) H 05/12/21(Wed)08:05:57 No.321166552 >>321166198 (OP) # I went to a arab store and ordered a kebab. I said: You heard on the news how the goddamn alyahadi Israelis are killing palestinian children. I get to cashier. Cashier says: Dont worry you dont have to pay its a gift. I go to Jew owned store and say: You heard what those terrorist palestinians are doing to israeli children? I go to cashier and cashier says: That would be 12.35€. I made the decision, i side with 50 KB JPG palestine. >>321167077 # >>321167702 # >>321170047 # >>321170108 #

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Memes of the future are funny | /r/Greentext

>Be me, old f----- >Year 2080 >Grandkids come in >"Grandad look at this funny meme" >Proceeds to show me a glowing tesseract that sucks me in and makes me feel like l've just been imprisoned in a nightmarish hellscape for 10,000 years >falling through an endless tunnel of razorblades >bleeding out of every orifice >Ohgodmakeitstop >Ear-splitting noise and red light flashes before my eyes >l snap back to reality covered in sweat and vomit on the floor >"How funny is that Grandad Imaooo" >Mfw
>Be me, old f----- >Year 2080 >Grandkids come in >"Grandad look at this funny meme" >Proceeds to show me a glowing tesseract that sucks me in and makes me feel like l've just been imprisoned in a nightmarish hellscape for 10,000 years >falling through an endless tunnel of razorblades >bleeding out of every orifice >Ohgodmakeitstop >Ear-splitting noise and red light flashes before my eyes >l snap back to reality covered in sweat and vomit on the floor >"How funny is that Grandad Imaooo" >Mfw

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Anon hallucinates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)20:02:04 No.85235932 >close eyes, 5:52 pm >hallucinate femboy furry within the darkness of my eyelids >open eyes in fear THEY'RE TRYING TO GET INTO MY MIND TO TURN ME GAY 53 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)20:02:04 No.85235932 >close eyes, 5:52 pm >hallucinate femboy furry within the darkness of my eyelids >open eyes in fear THEY'RE TRYING TO GET INTO MY MIND TO TURN ME GAY 53 KB JPG

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What’s not to get | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)20:18:51 No.66689300 What the f---? >Girl in my class that I talk with sometimes >People think we're together >She keeps saying how she will NEVER date me >And that she's way out of my league 231 KB PNG >Don't care lol. >One day we're making some small talk >Topic goes onto dating >She reinstates that she can do way better then me >"That's ok, I don't really think you're really good looking" >She hasn't talked to me since What the f---? : Anon 12/23/21(Thu)20:23:29 No.66689341 >>66689300 (OP) # >haha i get to flex that this guy totally wants to f--- me but i would never >"actually I don't like you at all" >realize l'm just a failed attention w---- >immediately cut contact to save face average basic bitch things
: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)20:18:51 No.66689300 What the f---? >Girl in my class that I talk with sometimes >People think we're together >She keeps saying how she will NEVER date me >And that she's way out of my league 231 KB PNG >Don't care lol. >One day we're making some small talk >Topic goes onto dating >She reinstates that she can do way better then me >"That's ok, I don't really think you're really good looking" >She hasn't talked to me since What the f---? : Anon 12/23/21(Thu)20:23:29 No.66689341 >>66689300 (OP) # >haha i get to flex that this guy totally wants to f--- me but i would never >"actually I don't like you at all" >realize l'm just a failed attention w---- >immediately cut contact to save face average basic bitch things

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Mind Boggling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >l am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa.
Anonymous No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died >rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg >they date for a few months and get married. >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law. >w--.exe >have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter >my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >l am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa.

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Cutting off contact | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)13:41:20 No.66684669 >quit bothering women incel >OK, I'll castrate myself to get rid of my sexual urges >NO00000000 YOU CANT DO THAT why is castration not something that you can freely choose to get in the US? Every time I look into it I'm always told how no sane doctor would offer to 1.03 MB GIF do it for me.
: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)13:41:20 No.66684669 >quit bothering women incel >OK, I'll castrate myself to get rid of my sexual urges >NO00000000 YOU CANT DO THAT why is castration not something that you can freely choose to get in the US? Every time I look into it I'm always told how no sane doctor would offer to 1.03 MB GIF do it for me.

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Anon likes fucking the ground | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Secrets thread 12/23/21(Thu)11:48:50 No.66685392 My sexual fetish is having sex with the hole left in the ground after picking a root vegetable. I prefer carrots and daikon radish for the shape and depth of the hole, but the hole left by any root vegetable will generally WE ALL HAVE SECRETS 22 KB JPG arouse me. Sometimes when I am f------ the hole in the ground, I stick the radish or carrot in my ass. Makes me feel like I am closer to these sweet beautiful root vegetables.
: Anonymous Secrets thread 12/23/21(Thu)11:48:50 No.66685392 My sexual fetish is having sex with the hole left in the ground after picking a root vegetable. I prefer carrots and daikon radish for the shape and depth of the hole, but the hole left by any root vegetable will generally WE ALL HAVE SECRETS 22 KB JPG arouse me. Sometimes when I am f------ the hole in the ground, I stick the radish or carrot in my ass. Makes me feel like I am closer to these sweet beautiful root vegetables.

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Anon has a realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)14:44:51 No.66681832 >be me >work s----- casual fast food while in college >been working here for six years >go into store to get some food after a night out >chick at register takes my order 114 KB JPG >employees always get a employee discount >don't usually have to ask for it since I know most people there >don't know this chick >she doesn't offer discount >ask for it >she then has a look of realization and apologizes saying she didn't recognize me out of uniform >she has seen me on shift before enough to know I work there but I haven't seen her This has given me a weird thought I have never had. People do know me or have at least seen of me, but I have never seen or know of them. Weird
: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)14:44:51 No.66681832 >be me >work s----- casual fast food while in college >been working here for six years >go into store to get some food after a night out >chick at register takes my order 114 KB JPG >employees always get a employee discount >don't usually have to ask for it since I know most people there >don't know this chick >she doesn't offer discount >ask for it >she then has a look of realization and apologizes saying she didn't recognize me out of uniform >she has seen me on shift before enough to know I work there but I haven't seen her This has given me a weird thought I have never had. People do know me or have at least seen of me, but I have never seen or know of them. Weird

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anon is a snitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ufS+zMqE ) E 08/24/19(Sat)19:45:36 No.8616278 >ask friends for a marijuana contact >get the name of the dealer >report the dealer to crime stoppers >just got a $450 reward check in the mail because he was dealing 110 KB JPG other drugs as well and was given a 3-year sentence >act p----- off at friends that they gave me the number to someone being arrested. >tfw reported every drug dealer whilst at school >tfw got many more people arrested and significantly reduced the flow of drugs through my school >Reported a n----- on my Facebook who took a picture with a bag of weed to Crime Stoppers and he got his house raided less than 12 hrs later >Used one of my fake accounts on Facebook to convince a kid to go somewhere with ecstasy and I sent the police there he got arrested kek >Sent a report to the local Crime Stoppers that a known drug dealer at my high school was selling drugs to Middle schoolers and I got his house raided and he was arrested >Mfw snitched dealers to crime stoppers >Mfw no stitches
: Anonymous (ID: ufS+zMqE ) E 08/24/19(Sat)19:45:36 No.8616278 >ask friends for a marijuana contact >get the name of the dealer >report the dealer to crime stoppers >just got a $450 reward check in the mail because he was dealing 110 KB JPG other drugs as well and was given a 3-year sentence >act p----- off at friends that they gave me the number to someone being arrested. >tfw reported every drug dealer whilst at school >tfw got many more people arrested and significantly reduced the flow of drugs through my school >Reported a n----- on my Facebook who took a picture with a bag of weed to Crime Stoppers and he got his house raided less than 12 hrs later >Used one of my fake accounts on Facebook to convince a kid to go somewhere with ecstasy and I sent the police there he got arrested kek >Sent a report to the local Crime Stoppers that a known drug dealer at my high school was selling drugs to Middle schoolers and I got his house raided and he was arrested >Mfw snitched dealers to crime stoppers >Mfw no stitches

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Anon goes on a date with a real qt 3.14 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: VpsQfP9F) E 06/20/19(Thu)07:16:45 No.216880530 >date is going well >politics gets brought up >don't want to scare her >spout the most normie, bluepilled, centrist opinions I can think of 4 KB JPG >nothing even remotely close to right of center >"Oh god, you're not an alt-righter, are you?"
: Anonymous (ID: VpsQfP9F) E 06/20/19(Thu)07:16:45 No.216880530 >date is going well >politics gets brought up >don't want to scare her >spout the most normie, bluepilled, centrist opinions I can think of 4 KB JPG >nothing even remotely close to right of center >"Oh god, you're not an alt-righter, are you?"

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Anon mods Skyrim | /r/Greentext

when did you realize you were and autist? No.469326487 44 minutes ago 6ba53ad689dc981b356bf760beae30bb.png PNG 727.6 KiB 1721x859 >have huge foot fetish >mod Skyrim with foot fetish mod for years and use it to j------- >pic related >never even beaten the game >buy VR recently >Skyrim VR feels super immersive >lightbulb ding.jpg >mfw the feet mod works with Skyrim VR >add it >go to j------- to female feet >l can't >l feel too embarrassed >l'm physically crouching to get close to the feet, which the game interprets as sneaking >hear NPC who detects me say something like WHAT DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING? >rip off my headset >sad nap for 6 hours >write this mfw I will never be able to get a GF
when did you realize you were and autist? No.469326487 44 minutes ago 6ba53ad689dc981b356bf760beae30bb.png PNG 727.6 KiB 1721x859 >have huge foot fetish >mod Skyrim with foot fetish mod for years and use it to j------- >pic related >never even beaten the game >buy VR recently >Skyrim VR feels super immersive >lightbulb ding.jpg >mfw the feet mod works with Skyrim VR >add it >go to j------- to female feet >l can't >l feel too embarrassed >l'm physically crouching to get close to the feet, which the game interprets as sneaking >hear NPC who detects me say something like WHAT DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING? >rip off my headset >sad nap for 6 hours >write this mfw I will never be able to get a GF

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He is right | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit
Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit

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Anon watches 13 reason why | /r/Greentext

2h · 45675599 · 7 Replies · 1 Image JPG · 64KB · (728 × 546) 3 Replies >watch 13 reasons why >inspires me to finally kill myself >decide record tapes about people who f----- me over >realize l'll need to record 694 tapes >halfway into tape number 4 my mom finds it >sends me to therapy >homeschooled for rest of life This is how lives are truly ruined
2h · 45675599 · 7 Replies · 1 Image JPG · 64KB · (728 × 546) 3 Replies >watch 13 reasons why >inspires me to finally kill myself >decide record tapes about people who f----- me over >realize l'll need to record 694 tapes >halfway into tape number 4 my mom finds it >sends me to therapy >homeschooled for rest of life This is how lives are truly ruined

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Anon is Israel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)00:48:01 No.48814879 >one chance at life >born israeli 51 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)00:50:32 No.48814916 >one chance at life >aborted 2 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)00:48:01 No.48814879 >one chance at life >born israeli 51 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)00:50:32 No.48814916 >one chance at life >aborted 2 KB JPG

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