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Anon’s homemade brew | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:29:38 No.848574479 >be me >go take a s--- >take a s--- and piss >get horny >masturbate >c-- in toilet 23 KB JPG >realize only few liquids left >spit in the toilet >remember feminists exists >shed a tear into the toilet >perfect cocktail >pic related 5 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:36:23 No.848574782 >>848574702 # There was already blood leaking from my a------ from the massive s--- i took. >>848574886 # : Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:37:14 No.848574823 >>848574479 (OP) # > blood > gall > vomit > spinal fluid > lymph
: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:29:38 No.848574479 >be me >go take a s--- >take a s--- and piss >get horny >masturbate >c-- in toilet 23 KB JPG >realize only few liquids left >spit in the toilet >remember feminists exists >shed a tear into the toilet >perfect cocktail >pic related 5 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:36:23 No.848574782 >>848574702 # There was already blood leaking from my a------ from the massive s--- i took. >>848574886 # : Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:37:14 No.848574823 >>848574479 (OP) # > blood > gall > vomit > spinal fluid > lymph

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Anon “doesn’t understand cars” | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" 128 KB JPG >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?
: Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" 128 KB JPG >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

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Anon does not prefer Reddit | /r/Greentext

If there is Hell on the Internet, it's r*ddit If there is Hell on the Intern(...) 12/28/21(Tue)04:48:38 No.353952878 >Haven't been on plebbit for ages >Want to ask a quick question >Super T----- Janny bans me seconds later for breaking one of their 6 gorillion www. rules. 29 KB JPG It's like North Korea there, but run by gay trannies with ADHD. I hate these cucks so much you can't imagine. Why do humans like that exist? 172 Replies / 56 Images View Thread
If there is Hell on the Internet, it's r*ddit If there is Hell on the Intern(...) 12/28/21(Tue)04:48:38 No.353952878 >Haven't been on plebbit for ages >Want to ask a quick question >Super T----- Janny bans me seconds later for breaking one of their 6 gorillion www. rules. 29 KB JPG It's like North Korea there, but run by gay trannies with ADHD. I hate these cucks so much you can't imagine. Why do humans like that exist? 172 Replies / 56 Images View Thread

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Anon is not human | /r/Greentext


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Anon plays soccer | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears
O Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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Anon picks a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)02:49:42 No.161327844 PICK A MOVIE. KEEP ONE ACTOR. THE REST ARE PLAYED BY MUPPETS. muppets.png 256 KB PNG Well? : Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)02:50:22 No.161327880 Schindlers list-Ralph Fiennes >>161329353 # >>161329386 # >>161330616 #
: Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)02:49:42 No.161327844 PICK A MOVIE. KEEP ONE ACTOR. THE REST ARE PLAYED BY MUPPETS. muppets.png 256 KB PNG Well? : Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)02:50:22 No.161327880 Schindlers list-Ralph Fiennes >>161329353 # >>161329386 # >>161330616 #

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Anon on philosophy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/19/21(Sun)07:46:27 No.19594528 | FILE DELETED Why were so many philosophers/authors coomers? >Rousseau: Exhibitionist and liked to be dominated by older women >Nietzsche: Mastrubator >Freud: Selfexplainatory >Foucalt: P-------- and BDSM fan >De Sade and Masoch: Depraved enough that conditions were named after them >Joyce: Fart fetishist >Henry Miller: Banned for writing too much about his IRL cooming
: Anonymous 12/19/21(Sun)07:46:27 No.19594528 | FILE DELETED Why were so many philosophers/authors coomers? >Rousseau: Exhibitionist and liked to be dominated by older women >Nietzsche: Mastrubator >Freud: Selfexplainatory >Foucalt: P-------- and BDSM fan >De Sade and Masoch: Depraved enough that conditions were named after them >Joyce: Fart fetishist >Henry Miller: Banned for writing too much about his IRL cooming

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Anon the forgetful pervert | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: GPQGUC0E ) 12/28/21(Tue)10:08:15 No.353950440 1E222ED1-A8B7-4DD6-B96A-552D068ED246.jpg 38 KB JPG >Tfw you forget you're not on your personal and not your fake IG >Comment "16 delicious feet" on a photo of 8 girls from uni at the beach >Uni wants me to come in for a meeting How f----- am I bros?
: Anonymous (ID: GPQGUC0E ) 12/28/21(Tue)10:08:15 No.353950440 1E222ED1-A8B7-4DD6-B96A-552D068ED246.jpg 38 KB JPG >Tfw you forget you're not on your personal and not your fake IG >Comment "16 delicious feet" on a photo of 8 girls from uni at the beach >Uni wants me to come in for a meeting How f----- am I bros?

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How to become a black dad | /r/Greentext

>go to see black panther on opening night >get there just as previews are ending, literally every seat is full and no assigned seating >find one seat open seat >black kid on one side, maybe 9 143 KB PNG or 10 yo >huge black woman on the other side, clearly his mother >oh_boy_here_we_go.jpg >nod and motion with my head for the kid to move down a seat next to his mom >he ignores me >mom ignores me >f--- it, sit down in between them >expect the kid to be loud and annoying through the movie >nope >they both are quiet and respectful throughout >kid asks me for a sour patch towards the end of the movie >say "sorry, no." (I was running low) >movie ends >as the lights come up kid tells his mom it was "just alright" >i secretly nod in agreement with him >>161321019 # >>161321886 # >>161327039 # >>161332608 # Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)00:32:47 No.161321019 >>161320278 # What was it like to larp as the kids dad for 2 hours then complete the larp by once again disappearing?
>go to see black panther on opening night >get there just as previews are ending, literally every seat is full and no assigned seating >find one seat open seat >black kid on one side, maybe 9 143 KB PNG or 10 yo >huge black woman on the other side, clearly his mother >oh_boy_here_we_go.jpg >nod and motion with my head for the kid to move down a seat next to his mom >he ignores me >mom ignores me >f--- it, sit down in between them >expect the kid to be loud and annoying through the movie >nope >they both are quiet and respectful throughout >kid asks me for a sour patch towards the end of the movie >say "sorry, no." (I was running low) >movie ends >as the lights come up kid tells his mom it was "just alright" >i secretly nod in agreement with him >>161321019 # >>161321886 # >>161327039 # >>161332608 # Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)00:32:47 No.161321019 >>161320278 # What was it like to larp as the kids dad for 2 hours then complete the larp by once again disappearing?

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Anon is being watched | /r/Greentext

LOS ANGELES POLICE : Anonymous (ID: Lg9gzcrW ) Cops browse 4chan 12/28/21(Tue)08:16:53 No.44891220 POLICE > be me, walk into LAPD HQ in downtown LA to get a background check clearance ANGELES EST LOS > greeted by guard/ go through security > take elevator/ go downstairs to civilian matters office > office full of cops on their ANGELES 54 KB JPG computer desks > sees a cop browsing 4chan. Couldnt tell which board but it was definitely 4chan Lmao. We aren't safe anymore frens. We are literally being watched everywhere. DEPARTMEN NOISIAIO WEST LOS ANGELES
LOS ANGELES POLICE : Anonymous (ID: Lg9gzcrW ) Cops browse 4chan 12/28/21(Tue)08:16:53 No.44891220 POLICE > be me, walk into LAPD HQ in downtown LA to get a background check clearance ANGELES EST LOS > greeted by guard/ go through security > take elevator/ go downstairs to civilian matters office > office full of cops on their ANGELES 54 KB JPG computer desks > sees a cop browsing 4chan. Couldnt tell which board but it was definitely 4chan Lmao. We aren't safe anymore frens. We are literally being watched everywhere. DEPARTMEN NOISIAIO WEST LOS ANGELES

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Anon drives. | /r/Greentext

a real human bean.jpg 2.92 MB JPG >Me and qt coworker finishing work late and closing up >"Ah anon can you drive me home? my dad bailed on me and it's pretty dark" %3D >"... >".yeah I drive" >She smiles and gets in the car with me >On the way home she ask to stop by a gas station to pick up some things >"you give me a time and a place, I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything happens a minute either side of that and you're on your own. Do you understand? >she laughs softly and says "you're so cute sometimes anon, I'll be back in a second" >5 minute 1 second later she isn't back >floor it
a real human bean.jpg 2.92 MB JPG >Me and qt coworker finishing work late and closing up >"Ah anon can you drive me home? my dad bailed on me and it's pretty dark" %3D >"... >".yeah I drive" >She smiles and gets in the car with me >On the way home she ask to stop by a gas station to pick up some things >"you give me a time and a place, I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything happens a minute either side of that and you're on your own. Do you understand? >she laughs softly and says "you're so cute sometimes anon, I'll be back in a second" >5 minute 1 second later she isn't back >floor it

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Anon does something nice | /r/Greentext

Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Вe me 96 KB JPG >Uni student depressed >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time
Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Вe me 96 KB JPG >Uni student depressed >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time

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Anon gets a compliment from a stranger! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg| 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.
: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg| 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.

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Anon encounters Anon | /r/Greentext


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Anon becomes a functioning member of society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)17:42:33 No.66734422 2010 >NEET >spend all day on the computer >wake up at 12pm usually >go to sleep around 4am >no gf 77 KB JPG >no stress >unlimited free time >j------- whenever I want >sometimes j------- 3 times a day >alone time whenever I want >do what I want when I want >true freedom 2021 >married >have to go to extreme troubles to hide any p--- on my computer >can only go to 4chan in secrecy >no alone time >no free time >have to be up at 5:30 am for work >have to be in bed by 9:30pm >designated j------- time >have to give attention to spouse when home >can't go out alone because she starts calling >no freedom tfw I fell for the gf meme. I want to go back so badly bros. Why the f--- did I listen to you guys?
: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)17:42:33 No.66734422 2010 >NEET >spend all day on the computer >wake up at 12pm usually >go to sleep around 4am >no gf 77 KB JPG >no stress >unlimited free time >j------- whenever I want >sometimes j------- 3 times a day >alone time whenever I want >do what I want when I want >true freedom 2021 >married >have to go to extreme troubles to hide any p--- on my computer >can only go to 4chan in secrecy >no alone time >no free time >have to be up at 5:30 am for work >have to be in bed by 9:30pm >designated j------- time >have to give attention to spouse when home >can't go out alone because she starts calling >no freedom tfw I fell for the gf meme. I want to go back so badly bros. Why the f--- did I listen to you guys?

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Anon thinks about the planet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:25:21 No.869445300 I dont understand why are arent letting covid do it's thing. humans and over population are the true enemy of the planet. If we die, it's a good thing. Mother nature need sus to die. May as well trim off the fat with a disease that only kills boomers and immuno comprimised 66 KB JPG This is why I choose to not wear a mask. F--- people. and f--- strangers. If you're not my family or friend, then you're a c--- unless you prove me wrong : Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:28:02 No.869445444 : Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:31:19 No.869445633 >>869445300 (OP)_# >sus 8 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:25:21 No.869445300 I dont understand why are arent letting covid do it's thing. humans and over population are the true enemy of the planet. If we die, it's a good thing. Mother nature need sus to die. May as well trim off the fat with a disease that only kills boomers and immuno comprimised 66 KB JPG This is why I choose to not wear a mask. F--- people. and f--- strangers. If you're not my family or friend, then you're a c--- unless you prove me wrong : Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:28:02 No.869445444 : Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:31:19 No.869445633 >>869445300 (OP)_# >sus 8 KB JPG

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Anon is hated by his parents | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:29:13 No.66742125 >be me >named striker >at coffee shop before I enter the wage cage >shop is relatively crowded >waiting for my coffee to be made so I sit in a booth with some 484 KB GIF teenagers behind me >barista screams out my order >I GOT AN ORDER FOR STRIKER >teenagers behind me start giggling and say that striker is a gay ass name >get to collect my coffee and leave in shame Just an average day with a gay ass name.
: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:29:13 No.66742125 >be me >named striker >at coffee shop before I enter the wage cage >shop is relatively crowded >waiting for my coffee to be made so I sit in a booth with some 484 KB GIF teenagers behind me >barista screams out my order >I GOT AN ORDER FOR STRIKER >teenagers behind me start giggling and say that striker is a gay ass name >get to collect my coffee and leave in shame Just an average day with a gay ass name.

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Anon is a rasict | /r/Greentext

>be me >Scrolling TikTok past bedtime >See a YouTuber react to a meme i made months ago >Lose my s--- >Can't believe it 40 KB JPG >Check the comments for the name of the guy >Lil bored X >Watch almost all his videos to see where my meme is >This guy is actually funny >Sub to him >l enjoy watching him >Decides to join his discord >First day goes well >Be today >l forgot i was not on 4chan and said i am rasict to Igbt >Mfw i got banned
>be me >Scrolling TikTok past bedtime >See a YouTuber react to a meme i made months ago >Lose my s--- >Can't believe it 40 KB JPG >Check the comments for the name of the guy >Lil bored X >Watch almost all his videos to see where my meme is >This guy is actually funny >Sub to him >l enjoy watching him >Decides to join his discord >First day goes well >Be today >l forgot i was not on 4chan and said i am rasict to Igbt >Mfw i got banned

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Anon likes Snickers | /r/Greentext

File: D587AAF2-C8C6-4C35-81E6-C(...).jpg (7 KB, 212x249) U Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)03:59:34 No.869443754 >>869443837 >>869443891 >>869444016 >>869444169 >>869444197 >>869444365 >>869444423 >>869444646 >>869444850 >>869445305 >>869445397 >be me >right by where I work there is a gas station >every day before I get to work I buy two snickers >during my lunch break I walk over and buy two more >when I finish my work day I stop by the gas station and buy two more >been doing this every day I work for two years >this morning walk into gas station to buy my snickers >there is a new kid l've never seen before at the cash register >put down my snickers >kid says >"h-------- are you the snickers guy" >I look at him confused >he says "I honestly thought they were joking about you" >lunch break rolls around so I walk back over >the kid is still there and he says while laughing >"h-------- you must love snickers" >I say “they are my favorite candy" >he laughs even harder >I didn't go back for a third time because I was embarrassed W--. Why the f--- are they talking about me when I'm not there? I thought people at cash registers didn't give a f--- about who goes in. W-- am I supposed to do now? O Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)04:01:04 No.869443837 ► >>869444228 >>869444879 >>869445361 >>869443754 (OP) You should go back in there and tell him you're going to become the s--- on the floor guy if he doesn't shut the f--- up.
File: D587AAF2-C8C6-4C35-81E6-C(...).jpg (7 KB, 212x249) U Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)03:59:34 No.869443754 >>869443837 >>869443891 >>869444016 >>869444169 >>869444197 >>869444365 >>869444423 >>869444646 >>869444850 >>869445305 >>869445397 >be me >right by where I work there is a gas station >every day before I get to work I buy two snickers >during my lunch break I walk over and buy two more >when I finish my work day I stop by the gas station and buy two more >been doing this every day I work for two years >this morning walk into gas station to buy my snickers >there is a new kid l've never seen before at the cash register >put down my snickers >kid says >"h-------- are you the snickers guy" >I look at him confused >he says "I honestly thought they were joking about you" >lunch break rolls around so I walk back over >the kid is still there and he says while laughing >"h-------- you must love snickers" >I say “they are my favorite candy" >he laughs even harder >I didn't go back for a third time because I was embarrassed W--. Why the f--- are they talking about me when I'm not there? I thought people at cash registers didn't give a f--- about who goes in. W-- am I supposed to do now? O Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)04:01:04 No.869443837 ► >>869444228 >>869444879 >>869445361 >>869443754 (OP) You should go back in there and tell him you're going to become the s--- on the floor guy if he doesn't shut the f--- up.

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Anon is an insomniac | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/07/20(Fri)06:51:11 No.833783188 >have you tried melatonin >have you tried sleeping pills? >it's because you drink too much caffeine man >you just need to stop worrying >well if you just got in bed and relaxed 33 KB JPG >if you'd get on a routine >if you'd go to bed earlier View Thread
: Anonymous 08/07/20(Fri)06:51:11 No.833783188 >have you tried melatonin >have you tried sleeping pills? >it's because you drink too much caffeine man >you just need to stop worrying >well if you just got in bed and relaxed 33 KB JPG >if you'd get on a routine >if you'd go to bed earlier View Thread

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