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Anon is a lyrical genius | /r/Greentext

File: Gorillaz-s-Clint-Eastwood(...).png (227 KB, 639x355) Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)20:25:13 No.107637810 ► I'm not gay, l'm feelin' trans Got a man's d---, in my ass I'm he/him, but not for long My penis, is comin' off It's comin' off It's comin' off
File: Gorillaz-s-Clint-Eastwood(...).png (227 KB, 639x355) Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)20:25:13 No.107637810 ► I'm not gay, l'm feelin' trans Got a man's d---, in my ass I'm he/him, but not for long My penis, is comin' off It's comin' off It's comin' off

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Femanon bonds with daddy. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)10:45:38 No.66854424 >>66854306 (OP) # >Drunk f----- dad during the holidays few years back >Get pregnant from it >Have to lie and tell friends and family I got pumped and dumped by some stranger >Have to pretend to be a stupid w---- rather than admit the truth >>66854437 # >>66854695 # >>66854851 # >66854901 # >>66856569 # : Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)11:10:14 No.66854695 >>66854424 # >Have to pretend to be a stupid w---- u dont have to pretend 4 KB JPG >>66854870 # >>66856634 #
: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)10:45:38 No.66854424 >>66854306 (OP) # >Drunk f----- dad during the holidays few years back >Get pregnant from it >Have to lie and tell friends and family I got pumped and dumped by some stranger >Have to pretend to be a stupid w---- rather than admit the truth >>66854437 # >>66854695 # >>66854851 # >66854901 # >>66856569 # : Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)11:10:14 No.66854695 >>66854424 # >Have to pretend to be a stupid w---- u dont have to pretend 4 KB JPG >>66854870 # >>66856634 #

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Anon eats ass | /r/Greentext


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Anon meets a Chad | /r/Greentext


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Anon has well meaning friend | /r/Greentext

>be me >23, ugly, and virgin >have chad friend that look like Chris Evans >"getting a GF is easy anon" >just get a nice haircut, smell good, and 100 KB PNG dress well >already do all of that and l'm still ugly I can't change my facial structure >just work on yourself bro they will come to you >been work on myself for years still get rejected >Are Beautiful people usually this disconnected from reality
>be me >23, ugly, and virgin >have chad friend that look like Chris Evans >"getting a GF is easy anon" >just get a nice haircut, smell good, and 100 KB PNG dress well >already do all of that and l'm still ugly I can't change my facial structure >just work on yourself bro they will come to you >been work on myself for years still get rejected >Are Beautiful people usually this disconnected from reality

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Anon is a 6/10 | /r/Greentext

File: 1366865205735.png-(359 KB, 500x500, 1366428024192. png) O Anonymous (ID: Zsp8Glig) 04/25/13(Thu)00:46:45 No.475373616 Repies 22475374061 2 2475376724 224Z63Z0ZGI >475376902 >476376996 22475377759 2247S378003 22475378141 224ZS378: Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of. here we go. >Be me >Be about a 6/10 >Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends >Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me >Look up and a 9/10 is running after it Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves »Become very good friends >Eventually begin dating »Fast forward about two months >New girl maves in eh about a 7/10, would boink >Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl >New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd >Tell her i have a girfriend, can see she is (iterally) insanely jealous >Fast forward two more weeks >Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch >Fast forward 4 days >Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again >w-- jpeg >Fast forward one more week >Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried >Random knock on my door, Its the cops >Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them Say yes, getting more worried >Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy TL:DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9
File: 1366865205735.png-(359 KB, 500x500, 1366428024192. png) O Anonymous (ID: Zsp8Glig) 04/25/13(Thu)00:46:45 No.475373616 Repies 22475374061 2 2475376724 224Z63Z0ZGI >475376902 >476376996 22475377759 2247S378003 22475378141 224ZS378: Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of. here we go. >Be me >Be about a 6/10 >Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends >Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me >Look up and a 9/10 is running after it Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves »Become very good friends >Eventually begin dating »Fast forward about two months >New girl maves in eh about a 7/10, would boink >Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl >New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd >Tell her i have a girfriend, can see she is (iterally) insanely jealous >Fast forward two more weeks >Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch >Fast forward 4 days >Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again >w-- jpeg >Fast forward one more week >Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried >Random knock on my door, Its the cops >Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them Say yes, getting more worried >Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy TL:DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9

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Anon makes a shocking discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)18:40:43 No.66852819 >be me >edgelord troll when im bored >usually shitpot on /pol /b and /r9k to have fun >be a couple of days ago >feds come knocking on my door to ask me some questions 98 KB GIF >shitmypants.jpg >they say they got an anonymous tip concerning something I posted on the internet >know the anonymous tip doesn't exist because I only shitpost on 4chan where nobody knows my name >know my edgy posts are fake so I could answer their questions and clear my name >they ask me something about a shed >realize this is about an edge posting bender I had some days ago where I mentioned my shed was full of guns >don't even have a shed let alone a single gun so let them snoop around so they realize they're wasting their time >they apologize for the inconvenience and leave Anons, we're not really anons in here
: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)18:40:43 No.66852819 >be me >edgelord troll when im bored >usually shitpot on /pol /b and /r9k to have fun >be a couple of days ago >feds come knocking on my door to ask me some questions 98 KB GIF >shitmypants.jpg >they say they got an anonymous tip concerning something I posted on the internet >know the anonymous tip doesn't exist because I only shitpost on 4chan where nobody knows my name >know my edgy posts are fake so I could answer their questions and clear my name >they ask me something about a shed >realize this is about an edge posting bender I had some days ago where I mentioned my shed was full of guns >don't even have a shed let alone a single gun so let them snoop around so they realize they're wasting their time >they apologize for the inconvenience and leave Anons, we're not really anons in here

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Sorry to hear Annon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)10:43:28 No.870006340 Girlfriend of 7 years that I met in college. Lovely woman, beautiful without makeup, down to earth, tomboyish but feminine as f---. I took her virginity, we grew and evolved together, connected with her in a level I never thought ny un A u 150 KB JPG possible. We made a promise to get married on year 8. As fate would have it, she got this one-in-a-litefime opportunity for a better education, a better life in another continent. Far better than anything she could dream of here. She was seriously considering letting it go to stay with me, but I knew she'd always resent not taking it, told her we'd do a long distance relationship but I knew us both, knew it wouldn't thrive. And so she left. A year later, it happened. She has no intention of coming back, I can't go as I have family and the business that supports them to take care of, with the addition that we had no idea what I could do for a living there. I do enjoy watching her flourish over there, seeing how much she's achieved and just seeing her smile thru her fb/insta posts. She's too precious to stay single for long. And me, I think l'll stay away from meaningful relationships for a while. Don't think I can handle another blow like that without falling to pieces.
: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)10:43:28 No.870006340 Girlfriend of 7 years that I met in college. Lovely woman, beautiful without makeup, down to earth, tomboyish but feminine as f---. I took her virginity, we grew and evolved together, connected with her in a level I never thought ny un A u 150 KB JPG possible. We made a promise to get married on year 8. As fate would have it, she got this one-in-a-litefime opportunity for a better education, a better life in another continent. Far better than anything she could dream of here. She was seriously considering letting it go to stay with me, but I knew she'd always resent not taking it, told her we'd do a long distance relationship but I knew us both, knew it wouldn't thrive. And so she left. A year later, it happened. She has no intention of coming back, I can't go as I have family and the business that supports them to take care of, with the addition that we had no idea what I could do for a living there. I do enjoy watching her flourish over there, seeing how much she's achieved and just seeing her smile thru her fb/insta posts. She's too precious to stay single for long. And me, I think l'll stay away from meaningful relationships for a while. Don't think I can handle another blow like that without falling to pieces.

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Anon gets a girlfriend | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to prom | /r/Greentext


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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same tim >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears
anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same tim >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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Anon is a coomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)00:05:41 No.66850356 >live with gf of three years >in one bedroom apartment >masturbate 3+ times daily >usually to p---, nudes from exes, fantasies of previous one night stands etc 45 KB JPG >get up early and go to sleep late so I can coom without her noticing >usually at my desk or on living room couch >she's started to ask why we are not having sex as much >struggling to get it up around her now how do I break out of this habit? I wanted to be a changed man for 2022 but so far I have been cooming the usual amount
: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)00:05:41 No.66850356 >live with gf of three years >in one bedroom apartment >masturbate 3+ times daily >usually to p---, nudes from exes, fantasies of previous one night stands etc 45 KB JPG >get up early and go to sleep late so I can coom without her noticing >usually at my desk or on living room couch >she's started to ask why we are not having sex as much >struggling to get it up around her now how do I break out of this habit? I wanted to be a changed man for 2022 but so far I have been cooming the usual amount

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Anon downloads a video game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Built for the job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)10:54:45 No.66845628 >be me >20 year old virgin >considering visiting a w---- >don't want to visit one until I have a peak physique >working out consistently ever 151 KB GIF since What kind of mental disorder do I have? My sole reason for building a dream body is so I can f--- w----- without being insecure.
: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)10:54:45 No.66845628 >be me >20 year old virgin >considering visiting a w---- >don't want to visit one until I have a peak physique >working out consistently ever 151 KB GIF since What kind of mental disorder do I have? My sole reason for building a dream body is so I can f--- w----- without being insecure.

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Maze runner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What were your happy days /r9k(...) 01/04/22(Tue)10:07:34 No.66845307 >13~ years old in 2008 >on a school field trip, going to a corn maze >walking around in the maze with a friend talking about whatever >he says "How do they know that we're actually in here?" >l say "...they'd have to come find 189 KB JPG us" >I look at him >he looks at me >go to the edge of the maze and go out the other end >cross a road >go to McDonalds >go watch street performers >go to the skate park >go to the pond and talk to ducks >go to a pawn shop >go down to a river and find an abandoned truck, inside is a rusty pair of binoculars that looked like it was from the 1950s >return 6 hours later back through the maze, overly tanned and having done literally everything except walk around in a corn maze
: Anonymous What were your happy days /r9k(...) 01/04/22(Tue)10:07:34 No.66845307 >13~ years old in 2008 >on a school field trip, going to a corn maze >walking around in the maze with a friend talking about whatever >he says "How do they know that we're actually in here?" >l say "...they'd have to come find 189 KB JPG us" >I look at him >he looks at me >go to the edge of the maze and go out the other end >cross a road >go to McDonalds >go watch street performers >go to the skate park >go to the pond and talk to ducks >go to a pawn shop >go down to a river and find an abandoned truck, inside is a rusty pair of binoculars that looked like it was from the 1950s >return 6 hours later back through the maze, overly tanned and having done literally everything except walk around in a corn maze

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Anon meets a fallout fan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)23:19:33 No.66849726 >send asian girl a fallout meme >"omg anon I love fallout!" >ask her what her favourite fallout game is >"oh i've only played fallout shelter on my iphone"| 23 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)23:19:33 No.66849726 >send asian girl a fallout meme >"omg anon I love fallout!" >ask her what her favourite fallout game is >"oh i've only played fallout shelter on my iphone"| 23 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is circumcised | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)23:34:32 No.869984954 >playing video game >start thinking about how im circumcised >cant play game because im too angry How do i cope with this 215 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)23:34:32 No.869984954 >playing video game >start thinking about how im circumcised >cant play game because im too angry How do i cope with this 215 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon gets a gril pregnant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/19(Mon)10:51:11 No.795297085 >get girl pregnant >tell parents im getting bullied at school >we move >mfw 26 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/18/19(Mon)10:51:11 No.795297085 >get girl pregnant >tell parents im getting bullied at school >we move >mfw 26 KB JPG

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Anon goes to reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)00:24:47 No.66850604 >browsing reddit >see a generic BOOHOO depression meme >caption reads something along the lines of would you take 1000 dollars but become ugly >EVERY SINGLE reply is "haha I'm already ugly" >l reply "no because I don't want to become ugly" 25 KB JPG >357 downvotes The miserable bring down others 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)00:24:47 No.66850604 >browsing reddit >see a generic BOOHOO depression meme >caption reads something along the lines of would you take 1000 dollars but become ugly >EVERY SINGLE reply is "haha I'm already ugly" >l reply "no because I don't want to become ugly" 25 KB JPG >357 downvotes The miserable bring down others 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

Convince me the Egyptians weren't ancient 4chan >Loved cats >Used cryptic pictures to communicate >Hated the Jews 72 KB JPG >Lived in a desert s------- >Obsessed with triangles and symmetry because ancient autismo >Were smart as f--- >Had a woman that ruled them that people orbit to this day >Literally had a frog God called kek All the evidence is here you just have to understand it
Convince me the Egyptians weren't ancient 4chan >Loved cats >Used cryptic pictures to communicate >Hated the Jews 72 KB JPG >Lived in a desert s------- >Obsessed with triangles and symmetry because ancient autismo >Were smart as f--- >Had a woman that ruled them that people orbit to this day >Literally had a frog God called kek All the evidence is here you just have to understand it

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