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Anon is white | /r/Greentext

OAnonymous 08/21/15(Fri)20:56:15 No.307324631 File: pic jpg (131 KB, 1600x902) >>307322435 >> O Anonymous 08/21/15(Fri)20:57:25 No.307324746 ► >>307324631 this website is for whites only >> O Anonymous 08/21/15(Fri)21:02:30 No.307325124 File: pic2 jpg (1.42 MB, 3264x1840) >>307324746
OAnonymous 08/21/15(Fri)20:56:15 No.307324631 File: pic jpg (131 KB, 1600x902) >>307322435 >> O Anonymous 08/21/15(Fri)20:57:25 No.307324746 ► >>307324631 this website is for whites only >> O Anonymous 08/21/15(Fri)21:02:30 No.307325124 File: pic2 jpg (1.42 MB, 3264x1840) >>307324746

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Anon brings his roommate to see Dr. Terry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)03:13:04 No.870019628 >Be me, in university and living with five (5) roommates. >One of them is scared he'd caught a dirty d--- and doesn't know what to do. >Doesn't want to get tested, so I 55 KB JPG volunteer to get tested with him to calm his sex-addled nerves. >Tell him we'd arrange to go see Dr. Terry. >l go in first. >Tell Dr. Terry whať's up. >He just gives me a cup to pee into and a requisition for some blood work. >Spend the next twenty (20) minutes chatting with Dr. Terry about wristwatches and riding motorcycles. >Roommate's turn. >Asks me how it went before he goes in. >Tell him Dr. Terry pushed a metal rod up my peehole until it hit something hard and made a clinking noise. >Tell him my mouth tastes of Aspirin®. >His face when:
: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)03:13:04 No.870019628 >Be me, in university and living with five (5) roommates. >One of them is scared he'd caught a dirty d--- and doesn't know what to do. >Doesn't want to get tested, so I 55 KB JPG volunteer to get tested with him to calm his sex-addled nerves. >Tell him we'd arrange to go see Dr. Terry. >l go in first. >Tell Dr. Terry whať's up. >He just gives me a cup to pee into and a requisition for some blood work. >Spend the next twenty (20) minutes chatting with Dr. Terry about wristwatches and riding motorcycles. >Roommate's turn. >Asks me how it went before he goes in. >Tell him Dr. Terry pushed a metal rod up my peehole until it hit something hard and made a clinking noise. >Tell him my mouth tastes of Aspirin®. >His face when:

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Anon’s friend is a pain in the neck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/13(Tue)20:50:44 No.514564416 >Be in 7th >Friend can crack his neck real loud and can turn his head completely sideways >Have a sub during choir >We think it would be funny if he made it look like he snapped his own neck >In between songs he screams out "I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" >Proceeds to make the loudest crack ive ever heard >Falls to the ground >The sub screams and runs out the door >lols were had He then hid in a storage closet and was suspended
Anonymous 11/05/13(Tue)20:50:44 No.514564416 >Be in 7th >Friend can crack his neck real loud and can turn his head completely sideways >Have a sub during choir >We think it would be funny if he made it look like he snapped his own neck >In between songs he screams out "I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" >Proceeds to make the loudest crack ive ever heard >Falls to the ground >The sub screams and runs out the door >lols were had He then hid in a storage closet and was suspended

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anons autism is a weapon to surpass metal gear | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 808833626 >be me >~15 >metal gear solid 3 just came out >save up hard-earned money to buy a bunch of military gear to look like snake >every couple of weeks i go out late at night and sneak around town, going into malls and such while avoiding detection >sometimes i walk through the jungle >i live in florida, which is very similar in terrain to vietnam and they used to train special forces during the vietnam war in florida >so its the best place for sneaky beaky >family goes to ybor city (district of Tampa with a very large cuban population) for vacation to escape hurricane katrina (of course it just ended up turning and we got hit anyways) >we walk into a cuban tobacco shop >my mom is a mexican immigrant, starts speaking to the guy in spanish >looks at me >"you know anon, back in mexico our parents used to let us smoke and drink every now and then. wanna try a cigar?" >"sure mom, but let me take it home, ill try it later" >i buy a big, fat, brown cuban cigar just like the one snake smokes >fast forward a few days, we head back to town, the whole place is ruined >national guard is there, handing out food and water >our house is mostly okay, just some fallen trees which i help clean up >fast forward to night time >get geared up, sneak out at 1 in the morning to go complete my "mission" >i decide to head to a big outdoor mall that everybody my age goes to after school >sneak past armed, uniformed soldiers on my way, i feel like a f------ legend >finally get to a piece of jungle that overlooks the mall (florida has plenty of places like this, raw untamed jungle right next to developed buildings and neighborhoods) >kneel down, light my cigar and put it in my mouth >cuban guy told me not to inhale but i do it anyways >death_by_coughing.mp3 >finally, i kneel down and get an overview of the mall with my cigar >feel like a total badass >make my way across the field >f--- around in the mall, go into shops with the windows broken, have fun >suddenly hear something 4 REPLIES Anonymous 1 hour ago 808834149 >>808833626 (OP) >a bunch of ghetto kids from my high school are looting and f------ around, about 5 of them >i hide behind a counter >i hear them coming >they see me squatting down, looking right at them >they are like 6 feet from me, just staring >ohfuck.jpg >"EY ITS DAT WEIRD ASS N---- FROM SCHOOL WHAT U DOIN BRUH" >they begin approaching me >"EY L-- BEAT THIS N---- ASS AHAHАНА" >i guess they couldnt see that i was armed because it was so dark >i have a tippman paintball pistol on a dropleg holster, i unholster it and take out my knife >KNIFEGUN.png >about to teach them the basics of cqc >"Aw s--- n---- this n---- aint playin..." >i begin approaching them, looking like pic related >cigar in my mouth, gun drawn >"ey bro l-- bounce this n---- serious bro" >they walk backwards, slowly at first, then pick up speed >"BRO L-- GO THIS N---- CRAZY BRO" >feel like a badass, but kinda shaken up >put out the cigar and go home >a few weeks later, school is back in >nobody knows my true identity >i am snake >snake is me Truly, my autism knows no bounds
Anonymous 1 hour ago 808833626 >be me >~15 >metal gear solid 3 just came out >save up hard-earned money to buy a bunch of military gear to look like snake >every couple of weeks i go out late at night and sneak around town, going into malls and such while avoiding detection >sometimes i walk through the jungle >i live in florida, which is very similar in terrain to vietnam and they used to train special forces during the vietnam war in florida >so its the best place for sneaky beaky >family goes to ybor city (district of Tampa with a very large cuban population) for vacation to escape hurricane katrina (of course it just ended up turning and we got hit anyways) >we walk into a cuban tobacco shop >my mom is a mexican immigrant, starts speaking to the guy in spanish >looks at me >"you know anon, back in mexico our parents used to let us smoke and drink every now and then. wanna try a cigar?" >"sure mom, but let me take it home, ill try it later" >i buy a big, fat, brown cuban cigar just like the one snake smokes >fast forward a few days, we head back to town, the whole place is ruined >national guard is there, handing out food and water >our house is mostly okay, just some fallen trees which i help clean up >fast forward to night time >get geared up, sneak out at 1 in the morning to go complete my "mission" >i decide to head to a big outdoor mall that everybody my age goes to after school >sneak past armed, uniformed soldiers on my way, i feel like a f------ legend >finally get to a piece of jungle that overlooks the mall (florida has plenty of places like this, raw untamed jungle right next to developed buildings and neighborhoods) >kneel down, light my cigar and put it in my mouth >cuban guy told me not to inhale but i do it anyways >death_by_coughing.mp3 >finally, i kneel down and get an overview of the mall with my cigar >feel like a total badass >make my way across the field >f--- around in the mall, go into shops with the windows broken, have fun >suddenly hear something 4 REPLIES Anonymous 1 hour ago 808834149 >>808833626 (OP) >a bunch of ghetto kids from my high school are looting and f------ around, about 5 of them >i hide behind a counter >i hear them coming >they see me squatting down, looking right at them >they are like 6 feet from me, just staring >ohfuck.jpg >"EY ITS DAT WEIRD ASS N---- FROM SCHOOL WHAT U DOIN BRUH" >they begin approaching me >"EY L-- BEAT THIS N---- ASS AHAHАНА" >i guess they couldnt see that i was armed because it was so dark >i have a tippman paintball pistol on a dropleg holster, i unholster it and take out my knife >KNIFEGUN.png >about to teach them the basics of cqc >"Aw s--- n---- this n---- aint playin..." >i begin approaching them, looking like pic related >cigar in my mouth, gun drawn >"ey bro l-- bounce this n---- serious bro" >they walk backwards, slowly at first, then pick up speed >"BRO L-- GO THIS N---- CRAZY BRO" >feel like a badass, but kinda shaken up >put out the cigar and go home >a few weeks later, school is back in >nobody knows my true identity >i am snake >snake is me Truly, my autism knows no bounds

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Anon saves the humanity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/19(Mon)12:34:50 No.454926395 >be me >player starts on me >be complete autist >never goes out >lives alone >player lose patience because virus doesn't spread >he surrenders 6 KB JPG >mfw when I saved humanity
: Anonymous 03/18/19(Mon)12:34:50 No.454926395 >be me >player starts on me >be complete autist >never goes out >lives alone >player lose patience because virus doesn't spread >he surrenders 6 KB JPG >mfw when I saved humanity

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Anon has a reddit moment | /r/Greentext


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Brie's new Boyfriend | /r/Greentext

01/05/22(Wed)15:04:45 No.161793194 : Anonymous Captain Marvel This guy saw captain marvel 140 times!!! 4E93AAAE-CC03-4FA1-995A-5D40A7EC2C96.jpg 746 KB JPG >140 times Did they f---? : Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)15:06:22 No.161793260 >>161793194 (OP) # >feminist film >biggest fan is a man Imao >>161793631 #
01/05/22(Wed)15:04:45 No.161793194 : Anonymous Captain Marvel This guy saw captain marvel 140 times!!! 4E93AAAE-CC03-4FA1-995A-5D40A7EC2C96.jpg 746 KB JPG >140 times Did they f---? : Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)15:06:22 No.161793260 >>161793194 (OP) # >feminist film >biggest fan is a man Imao >>161793631 #

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Anon has an issue | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/20(Sun)01:23:40 No.57267483 Neighbors saw me making out with one of the stray cats. 226 KB PNG 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/22/20(Sun)01:24:36 No.57267494 why were you making out with a cat
: Anonymous 03/22/20(Sun)01:23:40 No.57267483 Neighbors saw me making out with one of the stray cats. 226 KB PNG 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/22/20(Sun)01:24:36 No.57267494 why were you making out with a cat

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Anon loses his v card | /r/Greentext


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Anon does a bad think | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a lyrical genius | /r/Greentext

File: Gorillaz-s-Clint-Eastwood(...).png (227 KB, 639x355) Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)20:25:13 No.107637810 ► I'm not gay, l'm feelin' trans Got a man's d---, in my ass I'm he/him, but not for long My penis, is comin' off It's comin' off It's comin' off
File: Gorillaz-s-Clint-Eastwood(...).png (227 KB, 639x355) Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)20:25:13 No.107637810 ► I'm not gay, l'm feelin' trans Got a man's d---, in my ass I'm he/him, but not for long My penis, is comin' off It's comin' off It's comin' off

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Femanon bonds with daddy. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)10:45:38 No.66854424 >>66854306 (OP) # >Drunk f----- dad during the holidays few years back >Get pregnant from it >Have to lie and tell friends and family I got pumped and dumped by some stranger >Have to pretend to be a stupid w---- rather than admit the truth >>66854437 # >>66854695 # >>66854851 # >66854901 # >>66856569 # : Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)11:10:14 No.66854695 >>66854424 # >Have to pretend to be a stupid w---- u dont have to pretend 4 KB JPG >>66854870 # >>66856634 #
: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)10:45:38 No.66854424 >>66854306 (OP) # >Drunk f----- dad during the holidays few years back >Get pregnant from it >Have to lie and tell friends and family I got pumped and dumped by some stranger >Have to pretend to be a stupid w---- rather than admit the truth >>66854437 # >>66854695 # >>66854851 # >66854901 # >>66856569 # : Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)11:10:14 No.66854695 >>66854424 # >Have to pretend to be a stupid w---- u dont have to pretend 4 KB JPG >>66854870 # >>66856634 #

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Anon eats ass | /r/Greentext


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Anon meets a Chad | /r/Greentext


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Anon has well meaning friend | /r/Greentext

>be me >23, ugly, and virgin >have chad friend that look like Chris Evans >"getting a GF is easy anon" >just get a nice haircut, smell good, and 100 KB PNG dress well >already do all of that and l'm still ugly I can't change my facial structure >just work on yourself bro they will come to you >been work on myself for years still get rejected >Are Beautiful people usually this disconnected from reality
>be me >23, ugly, and virgin >have chad friend that look like Chris Evans >"getting a GF is easy anon" >just get a nice haircut, smell good, and 100 KB PNG dress well >already do all of that and l'm still ugly I can't change my facial structure >just work on yourself bro they will come to you >been work on myself for years still get rejected >Are Beautiful people usually this disconnected from reality

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Anon is a 6/10 | /r/Greentext

File: 1366865205735.png-(359 KB, 500x500, 1366428024192. png) O Anonymous (ID: Zsp8Glig) 04/25/13(Thu)00:46:45 No.475373616 Repies 22475374061 2 2475376724 224Z63Z0ZGI >475376902 >476376996 22475377759 2247S378003 22475378141 224ZS378: Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of. here we go. >Be me >Be about a 6/10 >Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends >Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me >Look up and a 9/10 is running after it Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves »Become very good friends >Eventually begin dating »Fast forward about two months >New girl maves in eh about a 7/10, would boink >Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl >New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd >Tell her i have a girfriend, can see she is (iterally) insanely jealous >Fast forward two more weeks >Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch >Fast forward 4 days >Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again >w-- jpeg >Fast forward one more week >Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried >Random knock on my door, Its the cops >Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them Say yes, getting more worried >Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy TL:DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9
File: 1366865205735.png-(359 KB, 500x500, 1366428024192. png) O Anonymous (ID: Zsp8Glig) 04/25/13(Thu)00:46:45 No.475373616 Repies 22475374061 2 2475376724 224Z63Z0ZGI >475376902 >476376996 22475377759 2247S378003 22475378141 224ZS378: Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of. here we go. >Be me >Be about a 6/10 >Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends >Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me >Look up and a 9/10 is running after it Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves »Become very good friends >Eventually begin dating »Fast forward about two months >New girl maves in eh about a 7/10, would boink >Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl >New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd >Tell her i have a girfriend, can see she is (iterally) insanely jealous >Fast forward two more weeks >Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch >Fast forward 4 days >Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again >w-- jpeg >Fast forward one more week >Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried >Random knock on my door, Its the cops >Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them Say yes, getting more worried >Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy TL:DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9

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Anon makes a shocking discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)18:40:43 No.66852819 >be me >edgelord troll when im bored >usually shitpot on /pol /b and /r9k to have fun >be a couple of days ago >feds come knocking on my door to ask me some questions 98 KB GIF >shitmypants.jpg >they say they got an anonymous tip concerning something I posted on the internet >know the anonymous tip doesn't exist because I only shitpost on 4chan where nobody knows my name >know my edgy posts are fake so I could answer their questions and clear my name >they ask me something about a shed >realize this is about an edge posting bender I had some days ago where I mentioned my shed was full of guns >don't even have a shed let alone a single gun so let them snoop around so they realize they're wasting their time >they apologize for the inconvenience and leave Anons, we're not really anons in here
: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)18:40:43 No.66852819 >be me >edgelord troll when im bored >usually shitpot on /pol /b and /r9k to have fun >be a couple of days ago >feds come knocking on my door to ask me some questions 98 KB GIF >shitmypants.jpg >they say they got an anonymous tip concerning something I posted on the internet >know the anonymous tip doesn't exist because I only shitpost on 4chan where nobody knows my name >know my edgy posts are fake so I could answer their questions and clear my name >they ask me something about a shed >realize this is about an edge posting bender I had some days ago where I mentioned my shed was full of guns >don't even have a shed let alone a single gun so let them snoop around so they realize they're wasting their time >they apologize for the inconvenience and leave Anons, we're not really anons in here

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Sorry to hear Annon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)10:43:28 No.870006340 Girlfriend of 7 years that I met in college. Lovely woman, beautiful without makeup, down to earth, tomboyish but feminine as f---. I took her virginity, we grew and evolved together, connected with her in a level I never thought ny un A u 150 KB JPG possible. We made a promise to get married on year 8. As fate would have it, she got this one-in-a-litefime opportunity for a better education, a better life in another continent. Far better than anything she could dream of here. She was seriously considering letting it go to stay with me, but I knew she'd always resent not taking it, told her we'd do a long distance relationship but I knew us both, knew it wouldn't thrive. And so she left. A year later, it happened. She has no intention of coming back, I can't go as I have family and the business that supports them to take care of, with the addition that we had no idea what I could do for a living there. I do enjoy watching her flourish over there, seeing how much she's achieved and just seeing her smile thru her fb/insta posts. She's too precious to stay single for long. And me, I think l'll stay away from meaningful relationships for a while. Don't think I can handle another blow like that without falling to pieces.
: Anonymous 01/05/22(Wed)10:43:28 No.870006340 Girlfriend of 7 years that I met in college. Lovely woman, beautiful without makeup, down to earth, tomboyish but feminine as f---. I took her virginity, we grew and evolved together, connected with her in a level I never thought ny un A u 150 KB JPG possible. We made a promise to get married on year 8. As fate would have it, she got this one-in-a-litefime opportunity for a better education, a better life in another continent. Far better than anything she could dream of here. She was seriously considering letting it go to stay with me, but I knew she'd always resent not taking it, told her we'd do a long distance relationship but I knew us both, knew it wouldn't thrive. And so she left. A year later, it happened. She has no intention of coming back, I can't go as I have family and the business that supports them to take care of, with the addition that we had no idea what I could do for a living there. I do enjoy watching her flourish over there, seeing how much she's achieved and just seeing her smile thru her fb/insta posts. She's too precious to stay single for long. And me, I think l'll stay away from meaningful relationships for a while. Don't think I can handle another blow like that without falling to pieces.

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Anon gets a girlfriend | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to prom | /r/Greentext


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