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Anon provides some sage advice | /r/Greentext

TL:DR. Ex gf cheated on me, how can I get revenge while she wants to get back together. 20 Replies / 1 lImage View Thread : Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)11:53:28 No.870305921 >>870304716 (OP) # >Tell you love her >Have a kid with her >Leave her 58 KB JPG >???? >Profit >>870306005 #
TL:DR. Ex gf cheated on me, how can I get revenge while she wants to get back together. 20 Replies / 1 lImage View Thread : Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)11:53:28 No.870305921 >>870304716 (OP) # >Tell you love her >Have a kid with her >Leave her 58 KB JPG >???? >Profit >>870306005 #

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Anon plots the downfall of Reddit | /r/Greentext

8:27 PM O 47 01/08/22(Sat)17:35:38 No.355549031 Operation: Destroy reddit unnamed.png 18 KB PNG >https://www.protocol.com/bulletins/reddit-march-ipo >reddit is going public with an expected $15B valuation This is the perfect opportunity for a troll campaign that could destroy Reddit. The operation is very simple: We encourage Reddit moderators (who are unpaid) to unionize and demand wages from Reddit admins, and to shut down their subreddits until they are paid fairly. Reddit is absolutely full of leftwing Marxist types who hate big business and who love unions. If we do this we could literally see hundreds of leftwing mods on the site start shutting down every part of the website. Admins could ban the mods who do this but then guess what? The site would become completely unusable without mods, since the whole thing relies on free labor from no-life losers to keep things running. >why do this Because f--- Reddit. Convincing the leftwing mods to destroy their own site would be hilarious. : Anonymous (ID: yMYpgsxZ ) E 01/08/22(Sat)17:37:07 No.355549171 Bump for potential : Anonymous (ID: RJVMQVQG 01/08/22/Sat)177.27:22 Nle 2555 9210
8:27 PM O 47 01/08/22(Sat)17:35:38 No.355549031 Operation: Destroy reddit unnamed.png 18 KB PNG >https://www.protocol.com/bulletins/reddit-march-ipo >reddit is going public with an expected $15B valuation This is the perfect opportunity for a troll campaign that could destroy Reddit. The operation is very simple: We encourage Reddit moderators (who are unpaid) to unionize and demand wages from Reddit admins, and to shut down their subreddits until they are paid fairly. Reddit is absolutely full of leftwing Marxist types who hate big business and who love unions. If we do this we could literally see hundreds of leftwing mods on the site start shutting down every part of the website. Admins could ban the mods who do this but then guess what? The site would become completely unusable without mods, since the whole thing relies on free labor from no-life losers to keep things running. >why do this Because f--- Reddit. Convincing the leftwing mods to destroy their own site would be hilarious. : Anonymous (ID: yMYpgsxZ ) E 01/08/22(Sat)17:37:07 No.355549171 Bump for potential : Anonymous (ID: RJVMQVQG 01/08/22/Sat)177.27:22 Nle 2555 9210

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Anon supports BLM | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)13:28:15 No.870307121 1620328991043.jpg 67 KB JPG Say it with me BLACK LIVES MATTER! 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)13:41:37 No.870307594 >>870307121 (OP) # she's holding up a big penis as if it were a symbol of Black empowerment... is that racist? idk what to make of this...
: Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)13:28:15 No.870307121 1620328991043.jpg 67 KB JPG Say it with me BLACK LIVES MATTER! 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)13:41:37 No.870307594 >>870307121 (OP) # she's holding up a big penis as if it were a symbol of Black empowerment... is that racist? idk what to make of this...

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Anon loses virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/18(Mon)00:19:28 No.782326903 >masturbate >c-- in tissue >throw tissue in trash >tissue gets recycled into notebooks >notebooks touched by girls >practically got a h------ 120 KB JPG Later, virgins View Thread
: Anonymous 10/15/18(Mon)00:19:28 No.782326903 >masturbate >c-- in tissue >throw tissue in trash >tissue gets recycled into notebooks >notebooks touched by girls >practically got a h------ 120 KB JPG Later, virgins View Thread

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Anon ignores women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)11:56:07 No.870319287 >takes finasteride to stop balding >"bro that stuff messes with your libido plus girls love bald guys" >does more cardio than weight lifting exercises >"bro you should be bodybuilding girls love a bulky guy" 58 KB JPG >wears a swim shirt and puts on sunscreen to avoid skin cancer >"bro girls love a tan guy plus the swim shirt just screams insecurity to them" Why the f--- do people think my entire existence revolves around what women think
: Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)11:56:07 No.870319287 >takes finasteride to stop balding >"bro that stuff messes with your libido plus girls love bald guys" >does more cardio than weight lifting exercises >"bro you should be bodybuilding girls love a bulky guy" 58 KB JPG >wears a swim shirt and puts on sunscreen to avoid skin cancer >"bro girls love a tan guy plus the swim shirt just screams insecurity to them" Why the f--- do people think my entire existence revolves around what women think

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Anon time travelled | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/21(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous 09/29/21(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #
: noko...also the game 09/29/21(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous 09/29/21(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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Modern Problems Require Modern Solutions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)03:22:31 No.50398769 >be me >be horny >want to stick my peepee into girl реерее >brightidea.webm >download tinder 199 KB PNG >match with qt3.14 mexican girl >she does not speak english >use google translate to woo her >ff a week >we hang out >things are getting hot >use google to ask her to suck my peepee and if we can have sex >it works Thanks google 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)03:22:31 No.50398769 >be me >be horny >want to stick my peepee into girl реерее >brightidea.webm >download tinder 199 KB PNG >match with qt3.14 mexican girl >she does not speak english >use google translate to woo her >ff a week >we hang out >things are getting hot >use google to ask her to suck my peepee and if we can have sex >it works Thanks google 2 Replies View Thread

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anon gets banned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:08:13 No.48077412 >be me >get banned from 4chan for 3 months >wack.jpg >unironically got a job >making some decent money and can pay for my own vidya >actually met a girl and eventually we get 98 KB PNG together >life is actually going pretty well >be 3 months later at work >realize that i've became a normie >decides to visit 4chan for old time sake >boss saw me scroll through some nsfw s--- >gets fired >no more money >relationship in shambles cuz no money >at least i can post on 4chan again im back robros : Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:09:03 No.48077422 welcome back retard f-----
: Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:08:13 No.48077412 >be me >get banned from 4chan for 3 months >wack.jpg >unironically got a job >making some decent money and can pay for my own vidya >actually met a girl and eventually we get 98 KB PNG together >life is actually going pretty well >be 3 months later at work >realize that i've became a normie >decides to visit 4chan for old time sake >boss saw me scroll through some nsfw s--- >gets fired >no more money >relationship in shambles cuz no money >at least i can post on 4chan again im back robros : Anonymous 09/11/18(Tue)18:09:03 No.48077422 welcome back retard f-----

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Anon keeps himself healthy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/21/19(Mon)21:06:50 No.790619917 >Be me >Sore throat >Go to doctor for checkup >Tonsillitis.jpg >Need to get tonsils removed >Go to hospital for operation >Knocked out for operation 25 KB JPG >Wake up high af >Nurse tells me I can have as many iceblocks as I want >Stay in hospital for a few days eating mostly iceblocks and chicken >Finally leave hospital after recovery >Later surgeons
: Anonymous 01/21/19(Mon)21:06:50 No.790619917 >Be me >Sore throat >Go to doctor for checkup >Tonsillitis.jpg >Need to get tonsils removed >Go to hospital for operation >Knocked out for operation 25 KB JPG >Wake up high af >Nurse tells me I can have as many iceblocks as I want >Stay in hospital for a few days eating mostly iceblocks and chicken >Finally leave hospital after recovery >Later surgeons

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Anon is angry | /r/Greentext

File: americanpsycho460-2 jpg (10 KB, 200x200) Anonymous 08/15/15(Sat)20:55:03 No.634948902 >delete facebook >leave all social media >leave city >move to Himalay as >one day pigeon comes with note >open note >Candy Crush request
File: americanpsycho460-2 jpg (10 KB, 200x200) Anonymous 08/15/15(Sat)20:55:03 No.634948902 >delete facebook >leave all social media >leave city >move to Himalay as >one day pigeon comes with note >open note >Candy Crush request

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Wholesome Greentext | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my 72 KB PNG house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is normal since we're pretty close >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >l pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone
: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my 72 KB PNG house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is normal since we're pretty close >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >l pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone

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Anon is on the grind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)11:10:12 No.870304652 >be me, underage as hell >get new glass bottle because i like how they look, and add a cork >pic related >also be addicted to V energy drink >put V inside glass bottle and leave 1.87 MB JPG out in Australian summer >3 days pass >open bottle and sniff >mfw >smells like champagne and whiskey >drink >tastes like champagne and whiskey >do this again and start selling for like $15 a pop >i've made $450 off this s---
: Anonymous 01/09/22(Sun)11:10:12 No.870304652 >be me, underage as hell >get new glass bottle because i like how they look, and add a cork >pic related >also be addicted to V energy drink >put V inside glass bottle and leave 1.87 MB JPG out in Australian summer >3 days pass >open bottle and sniff >mfw >smells like champagne and whiskey >drink >tastes like champagne and whiskey >do this again and start selling for like $15 a pop >i've made $450 off this s---

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Anon talks to Greg | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/12/18(Tue)16:57:34 No.771324837 >parents throw dinner party >l'm only there because hungry >f----- Greg starts converstation with me >"So anon what do you do?" >tell him i'm a stock man 58 KB JPG >"you don't really look like a wallstreet kind of guy" >what >asks me how the stocks are doing >tell him we just got XXL toilet paper in stock >he is visibly confused >dad joins conversation >"anon is a stock man at Publix" >greg asks if we mean stock boy >tell him I was hired as stock boy at 19 and was promoted to stock man at 25 >he's holding back his laugher >goes to his wife and whispers in her ear >they both start laughing >they go around the party whispering in the other guests ear >everybody starts laughing and looking at me >Go to my room and punch wall >break pinky
: Anonymous 06/12/18(Tue)16:57:34 No.771324837 >parents throw dinner party >l'm only there because hungry >f----- Greg starts converstation with me >"So anon what do you do?" >tell him i'm a stock man 58 KB JPG >"you don't really look like a wallstreet kind of guy" >what >asks me how the stocks are doing >tell him we just got XXL toilet paper in stock >he is visibly confused >dad joins conversation >"anon is a stock man at Publix" >greg asks if we mean stock boy >tell him I was hired as stock boy at 19 and was promoted to stock man at 25 >he's holding back his laugher >goes to his wife and whispers in her ear >they both start laughing >they go around the party whispering in the other guests ear >everybody starts laughing and looking at me >Go to my room and punch wall >break pinky

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Not gonna work because reddit mods are cucks | /r/Greentext

8:27 PM O 47 01/08/22(Sat)17:35:38 No.355549031 Operation: Destroy reddit unnamed.png 18 KB PNG >https://www.protocol.com/bulletins/reddit-march-ipo >reddit is going public with an expected $15B valuation This is the perfect opportunity for a troll campaign that could destroy Reddit. The operation is very simple: We encourage Reddit moderators (who are unpaid) to unionize and demand wages from Reddit admins, and to shut down their subreddits until they are paid fairly. Reddit is absolutely full of leftwing Marxist types who hate big business and who love unions. If we do this we could literally see hundreds of leftwing mods on the site start shutting down every part of the website. Admins could ban the mods who do this but then guess what? The site would become completely unusable without mods, since the whole thing relies on free labor from no-life losers to keep things running. >why do this Because f--- Reddit. Convincing the leftwing mods to destroy their own site would be hilarious. : Anonymous (ID: yMYpgsxZ ) E 01/08/22(Sat)17:37:07 No.355549171 Bump for potential : Anonymous (ID: RJVMQVQG 01/08/23(Sat)17.27:22 No 255540210
8:27 PM O 47 01/08/22(Sat)17:35:38 No.355549031 Operation: Destroy reddit unnamed.png 18 KB PNG >https://www.protocol.com/bulletins/reddit-march-ipo >reddit is going public with an expected $15B valuation This is the perfect opportunity for a troll campaign that could destroy Reddit. The operation is very simple: We encourage Reddit moderators (who are unpaid) to unionize and demand wages from Reddit admins, and to shut down their subreddits until they are paid fairly. Reddit is absolutely full of leftwing Marxist types who hate big business and who love unions. If we do this we could literally see hundreds of leftwing mods on the site start shutting down every part of the website. Admins could ban the mods who do this but then guess what? The site would become completely unusable without mods, since the whole thing relies on free labor from no-life losers to keep things running. >why do this Because f--- Reddit. Convincing the leftwing mods to destroy their own site would be hilarious. : Anonymous (ID: yMYpgsxZ ) E 01/08/22(Sat)17:37:07 No.355549171 Bump for potential : Anonymous (ID: RJVMQVQG 01/08/23(Sat)17.27:22 No 255540210

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Anon has a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)00:01:29 No.146411840 >have comfy job I enjoy >can watch videos and listen to music all day while I work >but for no reason I can't stand being there 3.29 MB GIF >walk in at exactly 8am and walk out the second it hits 4pm even if l'm mid conversation >get home and do literally the exact same s--- I do at work for fun I can't understand it
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)00:01:29 No.146411840 >have comfy job I enjoy >can watch videos and listen to music all day while I work >but for no reason I can't stand being there 3.29 MB GIF >walk in at exactly 8am and walk out the second it hits 4pm even if l'm mid conversation >get home and do literally the exact same s--- I do at work for fun I can't understand it

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Anons classmate is a weeb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/19(Mon)18:03:27 No.797456453 >be me >like 45 mins ago >sitting in science class >fat weeb sitting next to me on his phone >fat weeb is sitting next to girl wearing thongs (flip flops for SIDES CRIPPLED 153 KB JPG amerifags) >you can see where this is going >he takes a pic of her feet under the table but his flash is on >mfw he doesn't hesitate for a second and hauls ass out of the room >mfw the girl has been crying her eyes out since
: Anonymous 04/15/19(Mon)18:03:27 No.797456453 >be me >like 45 mins ago >sitting in science class >fat weeb sitting next to me on his phone >fat weeb is sitting next to girl wearing thongs (flip flops for SIDES CRIPPLED 153 KB JPG amerifags) >you can see where this is going >he takes a pic of her feet under the table but his flash is on >mfw he doesn't hesitate for a second and hauls ass out of the room >mfw the girl has been crying her eyes out since

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Being a cat is sure hard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:54:36 No.795694829 >be me, cat >sleeping from long day of being a cat >feel something cold on my head >wake up >w-- >owner standing there laughing like a retard while recording me >look up 73 KB JPG >can of coke on my had >tfw i like pepsi more >mfw no pepsi 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:56:35 No.795694917 >>795694829 (OP)# That's actually a pretty cute post. Too good for this site.
: Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:54:36 No.795694829 >be me, cat >sleeping from long day of being a cat >feel something cold on my head >wake up >w-- >owner standing there laughing like a retard while recording me >look up 73 KB JPG >can of coke on my had >tfw i like pepsi more >mfw no pepsi 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:56:35 No.795694917 >>795694829 (OP)# That's actually a pretty cute post. Too good for this site.

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Anon is a catboy | /r/Greentext

>>66894707 >be me >look like a twink >no p---- >decide to put on cat ear headband >post some stupid s--- to instagram with selfie >20k followers overnight >girls all up in my DMs >nudes and requests to f--- from like six women >even bros turn to look at me in the halls >8/10 comes up to me >"hey i like your headband" >dontspergout.cp >"uh haha yeah I thought it looked kinda cute with my outfit" >nailedit dot pee en gee >"oh i think it'd look a lot cuter without the outfit" >h-------- im gonna lose my virginity with this beautiful woman handed to me on a platter >"you wanna get a room or?" >we go to a hotel and she tells me she's on birth control >hell yeah >ask the receptionist how much a room is >its a pretty fancy hotel >"uh its about three fifty per night sir" >instincts take over >"tree fiddy?" >INSTANTLY snap awake in cold sweat >i should stop taking shrooms while browsing 4chan no sex but im g----------- on sunday so dont care >inb4 put me in the reddit screencap >>66894832 #
>>66894707 >be me >look like a twink >no p---- >decide to put on cat ear headband >post some stupid s--- to instagram with selfie >20k followers overnight >girls all up in my DMs >nudes and requests to f--- from like six women >even bros turn to look at me in the halls >8/10 comes up to me >"hey i like your headband" >dontspergout.cp >"uh haha yeah I thought it looked kinda cute with my outfit" >nailedit dot pee en gee >"oh i think it'd look a lot cuter without the outfit" >h-------- im gonna lose my virginity with this beautiful woman handed to me on a platter >"you wanna get a room or?" >we go to a hotel and she tells me she's on birth control >hell yeah >ask the receptionist how much a room is >its a pretty fancy hotel >"uh its about three fifty per night sir" >instincts take over >"tree fiddy?" >INSTANTLY snap awake in cold sweat >i should stop taking shrooms while browsing 4chan no sex but im g----------- on sunday so dont care >inb4 put me in the reddit screencap >>66894832 #

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anon becomes crow's underground dealer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/13/17(Mon)15:30:03 No.18926794 I've become a bread crumb dealer to 4 crows in my local lake. And they pay me with a bit of everything. Shiny stuff, fabric, pens etc. But recently they paid me with 20$ they've found somewhere. So i decided to buy them some more 868 KB JPG expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me dollar notes. And i've problamy racked up 200$ at this point. Is it morally wrong though, i mean. They're the ones who steals it from someone. Or perhaps they just got a big pile laying somewhere. Should i keep on doing this? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 11/13/17(Mon)15:30:03 No.18926794 I've become a bread crumb dealer to 4 crows in my local lake. And they pay me with a bit of everything. Shiny stuff, fabric, pens etc. But recently they paid me with 20$ they've found somewhere. So i decided to buy them some more 868 KB JPG expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me dollar notes. And i've problamy racked up 200$ at this point. Is it morally wrong though, i mean. They're the ones who steals it from someone. Or perhaps they just got a big pile laying somewhere. Should i keep on doing this? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon fucks up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/18(Thu)00:49:35 No.42248973 Social f--- up thread? >Be me RRRRE >Hungry before work >See donut shop and think "f--- it, that sounds pretty good" >Go inside and get a chocolate EST 172 KB PNG donut and a chocolate muffin >Cashier says "Wow, lots of chocolate today huh?" >"Haha yeah, I'm the chocolate man from chocolate land." >never return there Why am I like this?
: Anonymous 01/04/18(Thu)00:49:35 No.42248973 Social f--- up thread? >Be me RRRRE >Hungry before work >See donut shop and think "f--- it, that sounds pretty good" >Go inside and get a chocolate EST 172 KB PNG donut and a chocolate muffin >Cashier says "Wow, lots of chocolate today huh?" >"Haha yeah, I'm the chocolate man from chocolate land." >never return there Why am I like this?

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