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gf feels ..... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/24/14(Mon)04:45:10 No.14818808 >held bf in bed last night >"I like when you hold me" >tfw he started crying >tfw rubbing his back and kissing his hair while he sobs into my chest >tfw he kept saying sorry and I had to tell him over and over that it was ok 326 KB PNG >tfw he asked me not to leave him >tfw never leaving him Was a weird experience, never had a man cry in my arms before All I felt was love and a need to protect him >>14818837 # >>14818848 # >>14818881 # >>14818889 # >>14818892 # >>14818905 # >>14820244 # >>14820367 # >>14820732 # >>14821629 # >>14823419 #
Anonymous 11/24/14(Mon)04:45:10 No.14818808 >held bf in bed last night >"I like when you hold me" >tfw he started crying >tfw rubbing his back and kissing his hair while he sobs into my chest >tfw he kept saying sorry and I had to tell him over and over that it was ok 326 KB PNG >tfw he asked me not to leave him >tfw never leaving him Was a weird experience, never had a man cry in my arms before All I felt was love and a need to protect him >>14818837 # >>14818848 # >>14818881 # >>14818889 # >>14818892 # >>14818905 # >>14820244 # >>14820367 # >>14820732 # >>14821629 # >>14823419 #

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Anon goes to subway | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/27/13(Sun)20:15:03 UTC-4 No.513020284 Replies: >>513022161 >>51302 ITT: Fastfood stories 'll start: >be me living at uni >go to Subway to pick up some lunch before class >down time, only 2 other people in there >employee hears the bell and comes out from the back >9/10 skinny blond >holding her phone up to her ear but not talking >I wait a bit and she gives me look >figure she's on hold and 'd better order >Ya, 'l have a 6-inch BLT on Italian and-" >c--- cuts me off >"Can't you see I'm on the f------ phone?!" >mfw >wait for 2 minutes, 3 more people get in line behind me >finally she finishes listening to her phone >"Alright, the hell do you want?" >dat filename >her mistake was bitching at me, a former Subway employee >time to f--- up her day >order a footlong double-meat meatball sub on honey wheat bread >that bread tears easier than any other and meatball subs are impossible to close correctly with a regular amount of meatballs >make her microwave that s--- for 2 minutes >she tries to use napkins to take it out so she's not burned >fails miserably >order all the vegies >she tries to place a tiny bit of each kind on it >make her double everything >guy behind me laughing his ass off >bread is stretched completely open and tearing >time to destroy this sandwich for sure >ask for oil, say tell her l'll say when she's used enough >wait for her to stop on her own >make her double that >oil bottle is basically empty >added an assortment of other sauces >just picked the ones that would dye her uniform the best colors >sandwich is 40% sauces >she calls me an a------ and attempts to close the damn thing >sandwich immediatly spews all of its contents all over her uniform, $200 jeans, and $500 shoes >she starts crying >lean over the counter >Ive changed my mind, l'd like a 6-inch BLT on Italian."
Anonymous 10/27/13(Sun)20:15:03 UTC-4 No.513020284 Replies: >>513022161 >>51302 ITT: Fastfood stories 'll start: >be me living at uni >go to Subway to pick up some lunch before class >down time, only 2 other people in there >employee hears the bell and comes out from the back >9/10 skinny blond >holding her phone up to her ear but not talking >I wait a bit and she gives me look >figure she's on hold and 'd better order >Ya, 'l have a 6-inch BLT on Italian and-" >c--- cuts me off >"Can't you see I'm on the f------ phone?!" >mfw >wait for 2 minutes, 3 more people get in line behind me >finally she finishes listening to her phone >"Alright, the hell do you want?" >dat filename >her mistake was bitching at me, a former Subway employee >time to f--- up her day >order a footlong double-meat meatball sub on honey wheat bread >that bread tears easier than any other and meatball subs are impossible to close correctly with a regular amount of meatballs >make her microwave that s--- for 2 minutes >she tries to use napkins to take it out so she's not burned >fails miserably >order all the vegies >she tries to place a tiny bit of each kind on it >make her double everything >guy behind me laughing his ass off >bread is stretched completely open and tearing >time to destroy this sandwich for sure >ask for oil, say tell her l'll say when she's used enough >wait for her to stop on her own >make her double that >oil bottle is basically empty >added an assortment of other sauces >just picked the ones that would dye her uniform the best colors >sandwich is 40% sauces >she calls me an a------ and attempts to close the damn thing >sandwich immediatly spews all of its contents all over her uniform, $200 jeans, and $500 shoes >she starts crying >lean over the counter >Ive changed my mind, l'd like a 6-inch BLT on Italian."

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Anon loves hot foods | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/22(Sat)09:19:10 No.17240827 >boss offers to order-in lunch for everyone today >we all agree on taco mac >boss asks me what I want >l get 10 wings in the hottest flavor 150 KB JPG >qt co-worker: "oh wow anon I've hear those are really hot!" >y-you bet, I love hot foods >"That's cool anon, I bet you have a healthy prostate" >y-yeah I do ha ha >l actually don't have a healthy prostate >l wear Sequence9 leak proof undies to work every day >completely discreet, they don't give a weird profile and conceal odors >natural absorbent fabric that is soft and delicate to your sensitive area >It holds up to 2 ounces of liquid >machine washable So anons, when are you getting your Sequence9 emergency undies?
: Anonymous 01/08/22(Sat)09:19:10 No.17240827 >boss offers to order-in lunch for everyone today >we all agree on taco mac >boss asks me what I want >l get 10 wings in the hottest flavor 150 KB JPG >qt co-worker: "oh wow anon I've hear those are really hot!" >y-you bet, I love hot foods >"That's cool anon, I bet you have a healthy prostate" >y-yeah I do ha ha >l actually don't have a healthy prostate >l wear Sequence9 leak proof undies to work every day >completely discreet, they don't give a weird profile and conceal odors >natural absorbent fabric that is soft and delicate to your sensitive area >It holds up to 2 ounces of liquid >machine washable So anons, when are you getting your Sequence9 emergency undies?

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Anon is waiting for the Nobel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/31/20(Sat)08:53:58 No.838978048 I just had the perfect idea. >vasectomies are reversible >[lightbulb] >enforce a new law >every child with a penis and testicles over the age of 5 must have a vasectomy performed on 719 KB PNG them >the vasectomy may not be legally reversed until the child becomes an adult and deliberately decides that he wants children >reversal is free >libtards are happy because they can f--- each other day in and day out without worrying about making babies >conservatrash is happy because abortions have dropped to zero as they are now rendered obsolete >where's my nobel Thoughts?
: Anonymous 10/31/20(Sat)08:53:58 No.838978048 I just had the perfect idea. >vasectomies are reversible >[lightbulb] >enforce a new law >every child with a penis and testicles over the age of 5 must have a vasectomy performed on 719 KB PNG them >the vasectomy may not be legally reversed until the child becomes an adult and deliberately decides that he wants children >reversal is free >libtards are happy because they can f--- each other day in and day out without worrying about making babies >conservatrash is happy because abortions have dropped to zero as they are now rendered obsolete >where's my nobel Thoughts?

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Anon's dog hates him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/19(Wed)23:49:12 No.51880974 >lay down next to doggy >pet doggy >doggy gets uncomfortable, walks away, and lays down somewhere else 34 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/10/19(Wed)23:49:12 No.51880974 >lay down next to doggy >pet doggy >doggy gets uncomfortable, walks away, and lays down somewhere else 34 KB PNG

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Anon is short | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Help AnOns 06/24/19(Mon)14:33:56 No.53056693 >be me >chad face manlet >meet a girl on vidya >she really likes me >we start edating >find out we live close 44 KB JPG >she asks how tall I am I say 5'8 | >she is 5'6 I'm actually 5'5 and she is coming over today what the f--- do I do HELP ANONS : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)14:34:58 No.53056699 Ok listen to me. You have dyslexia and misread your height on the ruler >>53056712 # >>53057080 #
: Anonymous Help AnOns 06/24/19(Mon)14:33:56 No.53056693 >be me >chad face manlet >meet a girl on vidya >she really likes me >we start edating >find out we live close 44 KB JPG >she asks how tall I am I say 5'8 | >she is 5'6 I'm actually 5'5 and she is coming over today what the f--- do I do HELP ANONS : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)14:34:58 No.53056699 Ok listen to me. You have dyslexia and misread your height on the ruler >>53056712 # >>53057080 #

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Anon is desperate to date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why do I care so much? 01/10/22(Mon)09:19:45 No.25638875 > meet this girl on bumble > "hiya handsome" > girl is my type black hair/glasses cream.png > come off smooth convo goes good > be real with her and let her know im not 159 KB JPG playing games and want to go out on a date > says she wants to see me, plan Sunday > Sunday comes > get ghosted all day she responds later at night says she was in pain ask why never get a response > try to talk to her and getting dry responses Don't want to lose this bro's, 21 never had a gf and it's a girl that's my type, my problem is I keep checking my phone to see if she responds. why do I do this do I not have any self respect? Help bros
: Anonymous Why do I care so much? 01/10/22(Mon)09:19:45 No.25638875 > meet this girl on bumble > "hiya handsome" > girl is my type black hair/glasses cream.png > come off smooth convo goes good > be real with her and let her know im not 159 KB JPG playing games and want to go out on a date > says she wants to see me, plan Sunday > Sunday comes > get ghosted all day she responds later at night says she was in pain ask why never get a response > try to talk to her and getting dry responses Don't want to lose this bro's, 21 never had a gf and it's a girl that's my type, my problem is I keep checking my phone to see if she responds. why do I do this do I not have any self respect? Help bros

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If someone yells stop, goes limp, or taps out, the topping is over. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)06:25:02 No.63555730 >We're a generation raised by women, I'm starting to wonder if another woman is really the answer we need. 207 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)06:26:14 No.63555742 >>63555730 (OP) # we need to get TOPPED >>63555769 # : Anonymous 05/07/21 (Fri)06:29:21 No.63555769 >>63555742 # The first rule of getting TOPPED is that you do not talk about getting TOPPED! 94 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)06:25:02 No.63555730 >We're a generation raised by women, I'm starting to wonder if another woman is really the answer we need. 207 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)06:26:14 No.63555742 >>63555730 (OP) # we need to get TOPPED >>63555769 # : Anonymous 05/07/21 (Fri)06:29:21 No.63555769 >>63555742 # The first rule of getting TOPPED is that you do not talk about getting TOPPED! 94 KB JPG

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Anon lives by a stadium | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/18(Sat)19:18:18 No.781678304 >be me >be fapping >right as l'm nearing the finish I hear the national anthem start >mfw the first time I nutted during the national anthem 41 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/06/18(Sat)19:20:48 No.781678484 >edit: I live by a stadium
: Anonymous 10/06/18(Sat)19:18:18 No.781678304 >be me >be fapping >right as l'm nearing the finish I hear the national anthem start >mfw the first time I nutted during the national anthem 41 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/06/18(Sat)19:20:48 No.781678484 >edit: I live by a stadium

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Anon sends furries to god | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/19(Wed)18:22:00 No.51877850 >Be me >Be a gamer >Find a secluded furry website >Start posting all their IPs on the forums To seN su to CIAAA >Other gamers join in and dDOS them all >All furries run to tumblr 627 KB JPG >remembernofurry.png >We continue harassment >Furries from website start to kill themselves >missionaccomplished.mp4 >Drop birthdates among other s--- >All the furries are 9-12 >ohshit.zip >All the furries were subbed to Pewdiepie >All us gamers kill ourselves too Pic related
: Anonymous 04/10/19(Wed)18:22:00 No.51877850 >Be me >Be a gamer >Find a secluded furry website >Start posting all their IPs on the forums To seN su to CIAAA >Other gamers join in and dDOS them all >All furries run to tumblr 627 KB JPG >remembernofurry.png >We continue harassment >Furries from website start to kill themselves >missionaccomplished.mp4 >Drop birthdates among other s--- >All the furries are 9-12 >ohshit.zip >All the furries were subbed to Pewdiepie >All us gamers kill ourselves too Pic related

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Anon has a really good imagination | /r/Greentext

File: 1524482768700.png (6 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)21:19:22 No.46118484 [Reply] >12 years old >go to stay with half sister a state away for a couple of weeks >while there some of her friends come over to play cards and s---, they bring their 15 year old daughter with them >we instantly hit it off, spend time playing Primal Rage and Kirby Super Stars on SNES and watching cheesy disaster movies on ABC >last day there we end up going to this amusement park type place with laser tag, bumper cars, those stationary rail ride type deals, etc. >have the time of my life >distinctly remember her grabbing my hand during the rail ride >later on, we're sitting on a bench eating ice cream >she's leaning on me, and tells me she really likes me, and asks me if I like her back >being 12 and barely having hit puberty I completely spill my spaghetti and tell her that yeah she's a good friend >...oh >she instantly moves away >becomes super awkward >we barely speak on the way home >after we get back her parents come pick her up and I never see her again >I leave and never bring her up again Now here's the kicker >years later, now 26 >my half sister moves down to my area, haven't seen her in years >decide to go see her and catch up >decide to bring up the girl, wondering if maybe her family had kept in touch >turns out none of that happened, it was all an elaborate dream I somehow convinced myself was real >had spent the entire time cooped up in the room playing video games by myself and only came out to eat and there was no such amusement park I somehow cucked myself in a dream. I am broken. I don't even know how to process this.
File: 1524482768700.png (6 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)21:19:22 No.46118484 [Reply] >12 years old >go to stay with half sister a state away for a couple of weeks >while there some of her friends come over to play cards and s---, they bring their 15 year old daughter with them >we instantly hit it off, spend time playing Primal Rage and Kirby Super Stars on SNES and watching cheesy disaster movies on ABC >last day there we end up going to this amusement park type place with laser tag, bumper cars, those stationary rail ride type deals, etc. >have the time of my life >distinctly remember her grabbing my hand during the rail ride >later on, we're sitting on a bench eating ice cream >she's leaning on me, and tells me she really likes me, and asks me if I like her back >being 12 and barely having hit puberty I completely spill my spaghetti and tell her that yeah she's a good friend >...oh >she instantly moves away >becomes super awkward >we barely speak on the way home >after we get back her parents come pick her up and I never see her again >I leave and never bring her up again Now here's the kicker >years later, now 26 >my half sister moves down to my area, haven't seen her in years >decide to go see her and catch up >decide to bring up the girl, wondering if maybe her family had kept in touch >turns out none of that happened, it was all an elaborate dream I somehow convinced myself was real >had spent the entire time cooped up in the room playing video games by myself and only came out to eat and there was no such amusement park I somehow cucked myself in a dream. I am broken. I don't even know how to process this.

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Grug-1 Chadungo-0 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 775754777 O min. ago >Be grug >See chadungo >Chadungo has cavewoman >Cavewoman no love grug >Grug get mad >Me get pointy rock and stick >Make pointy rock stick >Go to chadungo's cave >Poke him hard in the eye >Continue poke him in eye and chest >Red water come out of body >Take cavewoman >She love me now 24.7 kB JPG >See you later rockposters with no cavewoman
Anonymous | 775754777 O min. ago >Be grug >See chadungo >Chadungo has cavewoman >Cavewoman no love grug >Grug get mad >Me get pointy rock and stick >Make pointy rock stick >Go to chadungo's cave >Poke him hard in the eye >Continue poke him in eye and chest >Red water come out of body >Take cavewoman >She love me now 24.7 kB JPG >See you later rockposters with no cavewoman

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Anon gets seen | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/18(Mon)16:47:15 No.48717622 >Was snapchatting with a girl a lot every day for a week >Ask her out on a date, goes fine (I think) >Snap her again today to say hi and I had a good 39 KB PNG time with her >Opened 3 hours ago kill me 10 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 10/15/18(Mon)16:47:15 No.48717622 >Was snapchatting with a girl a lot every day for a week >Ask her out on a date, goes fine (I think) >Snap her again today to say hi and I had a good 39 KB PNG time with her >Opened 3 hours ago kill me 10 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Fucking relatable | /r/Greentext


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Anon says Good Morning | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes on /lit/ | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a house cleaner. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)17:04:45 No.789303055 >be me >fairly wealthy but not rich enough to be president >sitting in my house while my house cleaner Maria is dusting >decide l'm tired of not g----------- >get idea 127 KB JPG >sextortion.jpg >offer Maria enough money to buy some fake ass documents so she could stay in the country >but she gotta do the lickle on my pickle. >"si senior anon, I will do." >fuckingnoice.wav >so while I'm distracted trying to get my underutilized ding dong out of its denim prison she snuck up and cracked me in the back of the head >I black out, when I wake up my wallet is gone and the house is spotless >bitch robbed me >but she finished cleaning the house >well That's how Maria works
: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)17:04:45 No.789303055 >be me >fairly wealthy but not rich enough to be president >sitting in my house while my house cleaner Maria is dusting >decide l'm tired of not g----------- >get idea 127 KB JPG >sextortion.jpg >offer Maria enough money to buy some fake ass documents so she could stay in the country >but she gotta do the lickle on my pickle. >"si senior anon, I will do." >fuckingnoice.wav >so while I'm distracted trying to get my underutilized ding dong out of its denim prison she snuck up and cracked me in the back of the head >I black out, when I wake up my wallet is gone and the house is spotless >bitch robbed me >but she finished cleaning the house >well That's how Maria works

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Anon meets a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)14:56:07 No.48695457 >meet girl on bus >she introduces me to her friends >hanging out >me and one of her friends really click together >she notices and asks as if me and 29 KB JPG her friend want to be a couple >her friend says she doesn't mind trying >we kiss >MFW I get my first kiss at 19 >MFW I get my first gf >MFW when I meet the girl the next day she says that she wants us just to be friends so she can get to know me >MFW it's been almost a month and she's just getting colder and colder The ride never ends boys
: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)14:56:07 No.48695457 >meet girl on bus >she introduces me to her friends >hanging out >me and one of her friends really click together >she notices and asks as if me and 29 KB JPG her friend want to be a couple >her friend says she doesn't mind trying >we kiss >MFW I get my first kiss at 19 >MFW I get my first gf >MFW when I meet the girl the next day she says that she wants us just to be friends so she can get to know me >MFW it's been almost a month and she's just getting colder and colder The ride never ends boys

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American anon doesn't know about the southern hemisphere | /r/Greentext

File: Untitled.png (141 KB, 400x338) Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)21:36:38 No.157317003 >>157317045 >>157317052 >>157317053 >>157317081 >>157317520 >>157317621 >>157317761 >>157317943 >>157318689 >>157319147 i dont have air conditioning 12/29/21(Wed)21:37:58 Anonymous No.157317030 >>157317171 >>157317540 >>157317671 It's winter, you don't need the AC on, iutard.
File: Untitled.png (141 KB, 400x338) Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)21:36:38 No.157317003 >>157317045 >>157317052 >>157317053 >>157317081 >>157317520 >>157317621 >>157317761 >>157317943 >>157318689 >>157319147 i dont have air conditioning 12/29/21(Wed)21:37:58 Anonymous No.157317030 >>157317171 >>157317540 >>157317671 It's winter, you don't need the AC on, iutard.

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Anon has sex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)08:29:09 No.47745704 h-------- i f----- up bros >be me AMI >having sex with 10/10 girl >out of nowhere I say some nazi DISABLED? s--- >she overhears me 55 KB PNG >"f--- my jewish p---- with your big a---- c---" >we begin to roleplay for a while >after l'm done c------ I tell her to give me r----- >before she could get her tongue out i blast a fart in her face >while also saying "GAS THE K----!" >she said nothing >she dresses up and goes back home >mfw I haven't heard from her since 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)08:29:09 No.47745704 h-------- i f----- up bros >be me AMI >having sex with 10/10 girl >out of nowhere I say some nazi DISABLED? s--- >she overhears me 55 KB PNG >"f--- my jewish p---- with your big a---- c---" >we begin to roleplay for a while >after l'm done c------ I tell her to give me r----- >before she could get her tongue out i blast a fart in her face >while also saying "GAS THE K----!" >she said nothing >she dresses up and goes back home >mfw I haven't heard from her since 1 Reply View Thread

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