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Anon saves money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)02:10:51 No.65577668 >late at night >craving a Wendy's burger >not even hungry, I know I'll only take a few bites and throw the rest away >I like the idea of eating a Wendy's burger, but not so much the reality 345 KB GIF of paying for something I won't eat >decide to just picture the burger instead >vividly picture platonic form of Wendy's burger >it's perfect, they can't possibly f--- up the order because it's in my mind >imagine eating the burger bite by bite >I finish >feel better, no more craving What the f--- is wrong with me
: Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)02:10:51 No.65577668 >late at night >craving a Wendy's burger >not even hungry, I know I'll only take a few bites and throw the rest away >I like the idea of eating a Wendy's burger, but not so much the reality 345 KB GIF of paying for something I won't eat >decide to just picture the burger instead >vividly picture platonic form of Wendy's burger >it's perfect, they can't possibly f--- up the order because it's in my mind >imagine eating the burger bite by bite >I finish >feel better, no more craving What the f--- is wrong with me

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anon is romanian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)11:32:17 No.870570204 >be me >Romanian >Pirated 100+ games, including Indies since 2015 >Probably saved 2000$ doing that >Torrent all my movies, saved 100s of dollars doing so >Why do f--- waste money 21 KB JPG >/b/ please explain
: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)11:32:17 No.870570204 >be me >Romanian >Pirated 100+ games, including Indies since 2015 >Probably saved 2000$ doing that >Torrent all my movies, saved 100s of dollars doing so >Why do f--- waste money 21 KB JPG >/b/ please explain

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Anon has a boyfriend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/12/19(Fri)04:15:23 No.12255080 I just recently started identifing as a boy (I'm a girl). My boyfriend says that since I'm a boy now, that makes me gay, and he will only f--- me in the ass. I hate a--- but I've been giving in, he doesn't stop even when I cry. Should I just go back to being a girl or keep 87 KB JPG letting him use my a------? 18 Replies /2 Images View Thread
Anonymous 04/12/19(Fri)04:15:23 No.12255080 I just recently started identifing as a boy (I'm a girl). My boyfriend says that since I'm a boy now, that makes me gay, and he will only f--- me in the ass. I hate a--- but I've been giving in, he doesn't stop even when I cry. Should I just go back to being a girl or keep 87 KB JPG letting him use my a------? 18 Replies /2 Images View Thread

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Anon is curious | /r/Greentext

File: Imagine c------ inside hn(...).png (224 KB, 498x280) 6. 8. Ballistic Gel Onahole Anonymous 01/02/17(Mon)17:32:29 No.32512944 >>32512958 = >>32516802 >>32517581 >>32518034 >>32518043 >>32518470 >>32518490 >>32519098 >>32519782 >>3252024 Has anyone here tried lubing up and f------ a block of ballistic gel after shooting it? How was it? Which cartridge creates the best texture and tightness? Also, are there female ballistic gel torsos to shoot and f---? Anonymous 01/02/17(Mon)17:33:36 No.32512955 >>32521383 Jesus christ man, I am both concerned and interested
File: Imagine c------ inside hn(...).png (224 KB, 498x280) 6. 8. Ballistic Gel Onahole Anonymous 01/02/17(Mon)17:32:29 No.32512944 >>32512958 = >>32516802 >>32517581 >>32518034 >>32518043 >>32518470 >>32518490 >>32519098 >>32519782 >>3252024 Has anyone here tried lubing up and f------ a block of ballistic gel after shooting it? How was it? Which cartridge creates the best texture and tightness? Also, are there female ballistic gel torsos to shoot and f---? Anonymous 01/02/17(Mon)17:33:36 No.32512955 >>32521383 Jesus christ man, I am both concerned and interested

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based orange | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)14:03:19 No.796709970 >Be KIWI >BE A TASTY F--- >FEEL LIKE FRESHLY S----------- >BE GREEN LIKE SHREK >FULL OF VITAMINS 138 KB JPG >HEALTHY AF > TASTE OF ANGELS C------ IN YOUR MOUTH >F--- ORANGES 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)14:12:11 No.796710513 >Be ORANGE >BE A SWEET TANGY AND TASTY ASS M------------ >FEEL LIKEA DAMN FRUIT SHOULD FEEL AND NOT LIKE 117 KB JPG SOME HAIRY TESTICLE >BE ORANGE, LIKE A F------ ORANGE, UNLIKE KIWI WHO IS N----- ON THE OUTSIDE AND JEW ON THE INSIDE >TASTE LIKE SUGAR MIXED WITH A 9000 VOLT BATTERY OF MANLINESS, NOT FAGGOTY ANGEL SEMEN >F--- KIWIS, TINY ASS HAIRY N----- FRUIT
:Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)14:03:19 No.796709970 >Be KIWI >BE A TASTY F--- >FEEL LIKE FRESHLY S----------- >BE GREEN LIKE SHREK >FULL OF VITAMINS 138 KB JPG >HEALTHY AF > TASTE OF ANGELS C------ IN YOUR MOUTH >F--- ORANGES 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)14:12:11 No.796710513 >Be ORANGE >BE A SWEET TANGY AND TASTY ASS M------------ >FEEL LIKEA DAMN FRUIT SHOULD FEEL AND NOT LIKE 117 KB JPG SOME HAIRY TESTICLE >BE ORANGE, LIKE A F------ ORANGE, UNLIKE KIWI WHO IS N----- ON THE OUTSIDE AND JEW ON THE INSIDE >TASTE LIKE SUGAR MIXED WITH A 9000 VOLT BATTERY OF MANLINESS, NOT FAGGOTY ANGEL SEMEN >F--- KIWIS, TINY ASS HAIRY N----- FRUIT

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Perfect way to go | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 >rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit
Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 >rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit

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Anon's friend has a big dick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)23:17:55 No.66963880 >b me >le incel >roommate gave me some of his condoms in front of all our friends as a joke gift to humiliate me >just to clarify, they were the exact ones 396 KB PNG he used when he had girls over >keep them there all year >this f----- constantly brags about his d--- size >"my d---- bigger than that (object)" >"oh yeah? you shouldve seen her after she took muh d---" >literally constant >end up moving out after the lease ended cuz i thought he may be gay and coming onto me after he asked if i ever wanted to experiment with another man >2 years pass >self improvement has paid off >somehow i have seduced a girl into my bedroom >remember the condoms in my drawer >get one out >im so hard for losing my virginity i figure it will go right on >tfw the condom is too small >tfw its not just too short but too skinny >tfw im only 6 inches meaning that f----- had a microdick >ended up f------ the girl raw tho so he did me a favor in the end >send him a d--- pic "by accident" to flex >he replays the snap i have never felt more gratified than that moment 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)23:17:55 No.66963880 >b me >le incel >roommate gave me some of his condoms in front of all our friends as a joke gift to humiliate me >just to clarify, they were the exact ones 396 KB PNG he used when he had girls over >keep them there all year >this f----- constantly brags about his d--- size >"my d---- bigger than that (object)" >"oh yeah? you shouldve seen her after she took muh d---" >literally constant >end up moving out after the lease ended cuz i thought he may be gay and coming onto me after he asked if i ever wanted to experiment with another man >2 years pass >self improvement has paid off >somehow i have seduced a girl into my bedroom >remember the condoms in my drawer >get one out >im so hard for losing my virginity i figure it will go right on >tfw the condom is too small >tfw its not just too short but too skinny >tfw im only 6 inches meaning that f----- had a microdick >ended up f------ the girl raw tho so he did me a favor in the end >send him a d--- pic "by accident" to flex >he replays the snap i have never felt more gratified than that moment 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon figures it out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/24/21(Sun)09:52:07 No.65881340 >do an experiment >make a thread 密です。 >reply to my own post with negative replies >other replies are all negative >make a new thread but the same 201 KB JPG >again reply but this time with neutral/positive comments >replies are more civil conclusion the first post sets the tone of the discussion and you can easily manipulate other anons into doing what you want
: Anonymous 10/24/21(Sun)09:52:07 No.65881340 >do an experiment >make a thread 密です。 >reply to my own post with negative replies >other replies are all negative >make a new thread but the same 201 KB JPG >again reply but this time with neutral/positive comments >replies are more civil conclusion the first post sets the tone of the discussion and you can easily manipulate other anons into doing what you want

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Anons Super Bowl party | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/19(Thu)13:04:15 No.792044467 >be me >in car with gf and her family >mom and gf want to connect Bluetooth and play music >dad gets grumpy over it >Bluetooth isn't connecting properly >dad gets angrier 49 KB JPG >mom gets angry cause he's angry >texts my gf about it >they're now texting about her dad >l'm still here >pleasedontinvolveme.mp4 >Bluetooth finally connects >rap comes on in auto play >dad gets angry and yells >gf looks like about to cry >he apologizes and she plays different song >mom still upset >tension building between them >I haven't said a word the whole ride >Imnothere.png >almost at destination >bowling for 2 hours then super bowl party >wish me luck anons
: Anonymous 02/07/19(Thu)13:04:15 No.792044467 >be me >in car with gf and her family >mom and gf want to connect Bluetooth and play music >dad gets grumpy over it >Bluetooth isn't connecting properly >dad gets angrier 49 KB JPG >mom gets angry cause he's angry >texts my gf about it >they're now texting about her dad >l'm still here >pleasedontinvolveme.mp4 >Bluetooth finally connects >rap comes on in auto play >dad gets angry and yells >gf looks like about to cry >he apologizes and she plays different song >mom still upset >tension building between them >I haven't said a word the whole ride >Imnothere.png >almost at destination >bowling for 2 hours then super bowl party >wish me luck anons

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Anon uses adblock | /r/Greentext

File: me.jpg (63 KB, 680x763) Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:46:24 No.870542169 >It looks like you're using an ad blocker. YES.
File: me.jpg (63 KB, 680x763) Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:46:24 No.870542169 >It looks like you're using an ad blocker. YES.

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Anon visits the hood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:24:30 No.66961501 >At corner store. Just passing by. >The ghetto.jpeg >l just want to buy my s--- and gtfo. >4 or 5 year old kid walks into store >None of my business.png >Kid goes up to the clerk, points at candy, and says "Candy". 25 KB JPG >"You got money, kid?" >The kid says nothing and leaves. >None of my business.zip >A few mins later the kid is back. >He has a gun with him >Walks up to clerk and points the gun at him. >"Candy Nigguh!" >w-- >Clerk laughs. >The gun is clearly fake. >Kid has a serious expression and isnt playing around. >Clerk laughs some more and gives the kid some candy. Free of charge. >w-- >I hate the hood.
: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:24:30 No.66961501 >At corner store. Just passing by. >The ghetto.jpeg >l just want to buy my s--- and gtfo. >4 or 5 year old kid walks into store >None of my business.png >Kid goes up to the clerk, points at candy, and says "Candy". 25 KB JPG >"You got money, kid?" >The kid says nothing and leaves. >None of my business.zip >A few mins later the kid is back. >He has a gun with him >Walks up to clerk and points the gun at him. >"Candy Nigguh!" >w-- >Clerk laughs. >The gun is clearly fake. >Kid has a serious expression and isnt playing around. >Clerk laughs some more and gives the kid some candy. Free of charge. >w-- >I hate the hood.

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Anon catches a smuggler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:07:31 No.785261856 >Be me >Security guard at airport >Fml every day same s--- >Consider suicide at least twice a shift >One day see hottie with a great ass and green 1.41 MB PNG leggings >She's walking a bit funny Suspicion.zip >Run metal detector on her while trying to cop a cheeky feel >Oh s--- detector went off >Oh s--- she looks nervous best investigate >Oh s--- oh s--- oh s--- >mfw I just busted an international diamond smuggler 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:07:31 No.785261856 >Be me >Security guard at airport >Fml every day same s--- >Consider suicide at least twice a shift >One day see hottie with a great ass and green 1.41 MB PNG leggings >She's walking a bit funny Suspicion.zip >Run metal detector on her while trying to cop a cheeky feel >Oh s--- detector went off >Oh s--- she looks nervous best investigate >Oh s--- oh s--- oh s--- >mfw I just busted an international diamond smuggler 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Baby Turmoil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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Happens all the time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/18(Fri)10:30:33 No.786774273 > be me > depressed > goes to coffee shop > tries to order espresso > says depresso instead 303 KB PNG how was your day anons
: Anonymous 12/07/18(Fri)10:30:33 No.786774273 > be me > depressed > goes to coffee shop > tries to order espresso > says depresso instead 303 KB PNG how was your day anons

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Anon goes on Reddit, again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)21:06:01 No.870510333 > go on Reddit > Post a link to a news article > Don't comment on it, add any value, just post a link with the title matching the news headline > Get thousands of upvotes and multiple people spend their money to give me an award 21 KB JPG > Their face
: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)21:06:01 No.870510333 > go on Reddit > Post a link to a news article > Don't comment on it, add any value, just post a link with the title matching the news headline > Get thousands of upvotes and multiple people spend their money to give me an award 21 KB JPG > Their face

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Anon is miserable | /r/Greentext

Leftists are laughing at us. They're not afraid. They're gloating and filled with joy. The system is rigged, and all our icons are disgraced. Even Jerry Falwell Jr. is a literal cuck. The party's only future is with Cubans and Mexicans. Libshits will never let us live the past year down. Kicked off every platform, finally discovered the free market doesn't actually work. Our own party turned against us. There's no point in even voting any longer. They're not afraid: they're 27 KB JPG overjoyed. Leftists are openly laughing at us. They're doxxing us, ratting us out to coworkers, friends, family, college deans, and law enforcement, they're getting us banned from everywhere and fired from our jobs and every new social media group is just another honeypot, and the cops we thought we were defending with blue line flags are shooting us like we're brown, and all while the leftists and liberals are openly mocking us and laughing in our faces. This last year has been one hell of a ride.
Leftists are laughing at us. They're not afraid. They're gloating and filled with joy. The system is rigged, and all our icons are disgraced. Even Jerry Falwell Jr. is a literal cuck. The party's only future is with Cubans and Mexicans. Libshits will never let us live the past year down. Kicked off every platform, finally discovered the free market doesn't actually work. Our own party turned against us. There's no point in even voting any longer. They're not afraid: they're 27 KB JPG overjoyed. Leftists are openly laughing at us. They're doxxing us, ratting us out to coworkers, friends, family, college deans, and law enforcement, they're getting us banned from everywhere and fired from our jobs and every new social media group is just another honeypot, and the cops we thought we were defending with blue line flags are shooting us like we're brown, and all while the leftists and liberals are openly mocking us and laughing in our faces. This last year has been one hell of a ride.

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Anon laughs at Canada's military | /r/Greentext

Trudeau promises military intervention if Trump refuses to leave office f in "The global democratic order must be enforced," stated Trudeau at a press conference this afternoon Jim Bronskill - The Canadian Press Posted: Nov 03, 2020 4:41 PM ET Trudeau issuing the dire warning at an impromptu press conference in Ottawa (Adrian Wyld/The Canadian Press) The Liberal government is promising immediate military intervention on American soil if Donald Trump refuses to leave office after the US presidential election today. 1604526638598.jpg 62 KB JPG Oh my God please let this happen E Anonymous 11/04/20(Wed)23:00:16 No.133506: All three tanks will be rolling towards DC
Trudeau promises military intervention if Trump refuses to leave office f in "The global democratic order must be enforced," stated Trudeau at a press conference this afternoon Jim Bronskill - The Canadian Press Posted: Nov 03, 2020 4:41 PM ET Trudeau issuing the dire warning at an impromptu press conference in Ottawa (Adrian Wyld/The Canadian Press) The Liberal government is promising immediate military intervention on American soil if Donald Trump refuses to leave office after the US presidential election today. 1604526638598.jpg 62 KB JPG Oh my God please let this happen E Anonymous 11/04/20(Wed)23:00:16 No.133506: All three tanks will be rolling towards DC

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Wholesome, real, and straight... maybe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)03:04:18 No.775181071 > be me > 2003 or so > go to mcd while high for some nice latenight food with my best pal > we both high af >i order tendies for us to share 64 KB PNG > we share them outside looking at the dark night sky > he asks what meaning of life is > idk bro what do u think > "Apart from all the science of were we come from, i think my life is just gonna be me chillin and enjoying the good emotions i feel, just like rn when im with my best bud" > mfw i realised life is what u make of it
: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)03:04:18 No.775181071 > be me > 2003 or so > go to mcd while high for some nice latenight food with my best pal > we both high af >i order tendies for us to share 64 KB PNG > we share them outside looking at the dark night sky > he asks what meaning of life is > idk bro what do u think > "Apart from all the science of were we come from, i think my life is just gonna be me chillin and enjoying the good emotions i feel, just like rn when im with my best bud" > mfw i realised life is what u make of it

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Anon has no fingers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying
: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying

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Anon tries to socialize | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)15:09:25 No.66956034 >stand at bus stop with same cute girl every morning for weeks >yesterday shes not there >today shes back >say to her "had to stand here all by myself yesterday, was a bit lonely" 436 KB PNG >she turns to me and I smile back >she responds "thats uh... weird" >she rolls her widened eyes and puffs her cheeks, as if shes Jim from The Office and the camera just panned in on her face >we go back to standing in silence this happened over an hour ago and i keep replaying it over and over in my head should i have pursued or did i make that right call by just shutting up i really wish id said nothing at all, f---!
: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)15:09:25 No.66956034 >stand at bus stop with same cute girl every morning for weeks >yesterday shes not there >today shes back >say to her "had to stand here all by myself yesterday, was a bit lonely" 436 KB PNG >she turns to me and I smile back >she responds "thats uh... weird" >she rolls her widened eyes and puffs her cheeks, as if shes Jim from The Office and the camera just panned in on her face >we go back to standing in silence this happened over an hour ago and i keep replaying it over and over in my head should i have pursued or did i make that right call by just shutting up i really wish id said nothing at all, f---!

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