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anon is autischad | /r/Greentext


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Anon has $1,000,000 | /r/Greentext


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We will never win | /r/Greentext


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Anon is poor | /r/Greentext


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Anon watches Smosh | /r/Greentext


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Anon Stops being a land whale. | /r/Greentext


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Anon ends up in a win-win situation | /r/Greentext


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Anon's mum needs to print something | /r/Greentext

File: pc 4 story jpg (5 KB, 253x199) Anonymous (ID: qsOVXED7 ) 09/14/14(Sun)13:59:27 No.568666427 [Reply] I have a story for you >my mom comes home after work >she needs to use the computer >the internet starts messing up and she gets mad >she calls me downstairs and asks me why its being slow >i told her to restart it >windows needs to update and it takes a while >after the incident she calls my old nanny and her best friend the "computer expert" >she shows her the issues and everything is working fine >she then tries to print something and it didnt work >she gets upset and i offer help >"YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. YOU BROKE THIS WITH YOUR GAMES!" > i told her i got the games through steam and that was impossible >Our so called expert decides to wiegh in >"kid every time you download a game it has a virus. even on steam downloads are just links with malware" >i go upstairs because they are being retarded >they give up and say they will fix it tomorrow >i go downstairs and the printer was just out of ink and that is how i lost faith in humanity
File: pc 4 story jpg (5 KB, 253x199) Anonymous (ID: qsOVXED7 ) 09/14/14(Sun)13:59:27 No.568666427 [Reply] I have a story for you >my mom comes home after work >she needs to use the computer >the internet starts messing up and she gets mad >she calls me downstairs and asks me why its being slow >i told her to restart it >windows needs to update and it takes a while >after the incident she calls my old nanny and her best friend the "computer expert" >she shows her the issues and everything is working fine >she then tries to print something and it didnt work >she gets upset and i offer help >"YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. YOU BROKE THIS WITH YOUR GAMES!" > i told her i got the games through steam and that was impossible >Our so called expert decides to wiegh in >"kid every time you download a game it has a virus. even on steam downloads are just links with malware" >i go upstairs because they are being retarded >they give up and say they will fix it tomorrow >i go downstairs and the printer was just out of ink and that is how i lost faith in humanity

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Anon calls a sex line. | /r/Greentext

1• #752755361 12/2/17, 8:32 PM >Decide to call a sex line today >Girl with a really sweet voice picks up >Ask her what she's wearing, etc, etc. >She tells me that she's in college >She mentions that there are a lot of communists and SJW's at her school >End up spending about 40 minutes talking about how SJW's suck and how communism will never work off of paper I jacked off the whole time, but I was honestly more interested in the conversation
1• #752755361 12/2/17, 8:32 PM >Decide to call a sex line today >Girl with a really sweet voice picks up >Ask her what she's wearing, etc, etc. >She tells me that she's in college >She mentions that there are a lot of communists and SJW's at her school >End up spending about 40 minutes talking about how SJW's suck and how communism will never work off of paper I jacked off the whole time, but I was honestly more interested in the conversation

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r/thatonesubwheretheguy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys
: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys

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anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)13:36:46 No.442918 >walk into gym >see penis inspection day sign >turn around >the door is already sealed 107 KB JPG -44291943 #
Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)13:36:46 No.442918 >walk into gym >see penis inspection day sign >turn around >the door is already sealed 107 KB JPG -44291943 #

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Anon is sadboi | /r/Greentext

File: 1532036802939.png (64 KB, 507x540) O Anonymous 07/28/18(Sat)18:38:13 No.775651685 [Reply] >be me What have I done to deserve this
File: 1532036802939.png (64 KB, 507x540) O Anonymous 07/28/18(Sat)18:38:13 No.775651685 [Reply] >be me What have I done to deserve this

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Anon goes on a walk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)06:57:46 No.870579614 >be me >be yesterday or last week or something >be walking down street >suddenly can't remember if I put my shoes on before I left the house >check feet >l've got shoes on >everything worked out just fine in the end 31 KB PNG
: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)06:57:46 No.870579614 >be me >be yesterday or last week or something >be walking down street >suddenly can't remember if I put my shoes on before I left the house >check feet >l've got shoes on >everything worked out just fine in the end 31 KB PNG

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Anons new laptop | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a classic greentext author | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)15:10:56 No.870598958 >be me >be 15 or 23 or 36 or whatever >girl squeezes my dinger >"Let's have sexy interclock with me" >"Yes" >put my dinger in her front bottom >jiggly jiggly 69 KB JPG >spluff in her kazoogie >ok bananas 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)15:10:56 No.870598958 >be me >be 15 or 23 or 36 or whatever >girl squeezes my dinger >"Let's have sexy interclock with me" >"Yes" >put my dinger in her front bottom >jiggly jiggly 69 KB JPG >spluff in her kazoogie >ok bananas 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon gets a puppy | /r/Greentext

ile: 1364342154959.jpg-(361 KB, 800xbUU, x.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: 15/9fhec) 03/26/13(Tue)19:55:54 No.468 ITT: Dog appreciation >be 12 >get a golden retriever puppy >won't quit shivering so l just hold him for hours >name him "Duke" >be 16 >go everywhere with this dog >best friend >dad goes through a lot of marriages >marries crazy bitch with a rescued abused pit bull >pit bull is a prick to everyone except crazy bitch >have to keep it locked up >one day out in front of house >crazy f------ pit bull gets out of cage >runs at me >S---.jpeg >f----- knocks me down and sinks his teeth into me >Duke comes from the backyard >knocks pit bull off me >fights it for lang enough for me to escape >looking back I can see the pif bull tearing my best friend's throat out >l get away >crazy dog runs down street >don't ever see it again >cry at my dead dogs side for a good few hours in front of my house where everyone can see >Duke is buried >crazy bitch blames me for her f------ pit bull >be a week later >hungry >look in the cupboard >Wat >all of my baked bean cans are gone >turn on the news >Duke is a millionaire >m----------- faked his own death to sell my Bush's Baked Beans recipe
ile: 1364342154959.jpg-(361 KB, 800xbUU, x.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: 15/9fhec) 03/26/13(Tue)19:55:54 No.468 ITT: Dog appreciation >be 12 >get a golden retriever puppy >won't quit shivering so l just hold him for hours >name him "Duke" >be 16 >go everywhere with this dog >best friend >dad goes through a lot of marriages >marries crazy bitch with a rescued abused pit bull >pit bull is a prick to everyone except crazy bitch >have to keep it locked up >one day out in front of house >crazy f------ pit bull gets out of cage >runs at me >S---.jpeg >f----- knocks me down and sinks his teeth into me >Duke comes from the backyard >knocks pit bull off me >fights it for lang enough for me to escape >looking back I can see the pif bull tearing my best friend's throat out >l get away >crazy dog runs down street >don't ever see it again >cry at my dead dogs side for a good few hours in front of my house where everyone can see >Duke is buried >crazy bitch blames me for her f------ pit bull >be a week later >hungry >look in the cupboard >Wat >all of my baked bean cans are gone >turn on the news >Duke is a millionaire >m----------- faked his own death to sell my Bush's Baked Beans recipe

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Anon doesn't understand 2080 comedy | /r/Greentext


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Worth the read | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)23:28:11 No.412424646 >>412425018 >>412429058 >>412436391 >>412436659 >>412436981 >>412439415 >>412423415 (OP) The first hatemail i ever got was from xXCARCraZYXx because i died defending the flag in halo 3. OMG chop ur ballz off- was what he sent. After that day i periodically checked his profile every day for about 7 years. Just to see how his life went. 2 years after he sent that message, he dropped Halo 3 entirely for MW2. a year after that he changed his motto to 'I love you Megan' Probably his gf. A few months after that he changed his motto to USMC Semper Fi. A little after that he changed his bio to some rambling b------- about being careful who you upset because you never know when a Marine could be stood behind you. 4 months after that his profile became very anti-government, I guess the marines wasn't for him. Some time after this i managed to find his FB account and i finally saw who he was. A short, ugly p------------ that tried oh so desperately to please daddy. Shortly before i stopped keeping up with him I saw that he had an uggo girlfriend and that she was pregnant. She lost it about 5 months in and he posted one of those 'R.I.P Martin, Daddy loves you' on his profile. That's when i PM'd him a screenshot of the message he sent me with I'm glad your retard baby is dead'. I f------ won that one, hater.
Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)23:28:11 No.412424646 >>412425018 >>412429058 >>412436391 >>412436659 >>412436981 >>412439415 >>412423415 (OP) The first hatemail i ever got was from xXCARCraZYXx because i died defending the flag in halo 3. OMG chop ur ballz off- was what he sent. After that day i periodically checked his profile every day for about 7 years. Just to see how his life went. 2 years after he sent that message, he dropped Halo 3 entirely for MW2. a year after that he changed his motto to 'I love you Megan' Probably his gf. A few months after that he changed his motto to USMC Semper Fi. A little after that he changed his bio to some rambling b------- about being careful who you upset because you never know when a Marine could be stood behind you. 4 months after that his profile became very anti-government, I guess the marines wasn't for him. Some time after this i managed to find his FB account and i finally saw who he was. A short, ugly p------------ that tried oh so desperately to please daddy. Shortly before i stopped keeping up with him I saw that he had an uggo girlfriend and that she was pregnant. She lost it about 5 months in and he posted one of those 'R.I.P Martin, Daddy loves you' on his profile. That's when i PM'd him a screenshot of the message he sent me with I'm glad your retard baby is dead'. I f------ won that one, hater.

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Anon forgets to take their meds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XKwaUvdY 01/13/22(Thu)00:32:35 No.356240834 >Trump gets election stolen from him >POTUS is a deranged p--- owned by China >inflation out of control leading to 31 KB JPG financial disaster >US helped finance/engineer a Bioweapon that China released upon the globe >big pharma making shekels off a s--- "vaccine" that does more harm than good while using globe as lab rats in some experiment >Governments forcing people to take untested gene therapy "vax" to keep their freedoms all while prepping us for the implementation of a social credit system and even more surveillance in the guise of contact tracing. >Feds, various traitors and multinational globohomo f---- keep trying to spark a color revolution >corruption at every level of the US government >satanic p--- cults >media is controlled propaganda
: Anonymous (ID: XKwaUvdY 01/13/22(Thu)00:32:35 No.356240834 >Trump gets election stolen from him >POTUS is a deranged p--- owned by China >inflation out of control leading to 31 KB JPG financial disaster >US helped finance/engineer a Bioweapon that China released upon the globe >big pharma making shekels off a s--- "vaccine" that does more harm than good while using globe as lab rats in some experiment >Governments forcing people to take untested gene therapy "vax" to keep their freedoms all while prepping us for the implementation of a social credit system and even more surveillance in the guise of contact tracing. >Feds, various traitors and multinational globohomo f---- keep trying to spark a color revolution >corruption at every level of the US government >satanic p--- cults >media is controlled propaganda

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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)15:23:11 No.66972200 > be me > stream all movies online for free > listen to family complain about movie prices > tell them to go to my site > "that's illegal, no" > they haven't paid taxes in 11-12 44 KB PNG years > judge them > continue to watch my s--- for free
: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)15:23:11 No.66972200 > be me > stream all movies online for free > listen to family complain about movie prices > tell them to go to my site > "that's illegal, no" > they haven't paid taxes in 11-12 44 KB PNG years > judge them > continue to watch my s--- for free

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