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r/thatonesubwheretheguy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys
: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys

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anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)13:36:46 No.442918 >walk into gym >see penis inspection day sign >turn around >the door is already sealed 107 KB JPG -44291943 #
Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)13:36:46 No.442918 >walk into gym >see penis inspection day sign >turn around >the door is already sealed 107 KB JPG -44291943 #

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Anon is sadboi | /r/Greentext

File: 1532036802939.png (64 KB, 507x540) O Anonymous 07/28/18(Sat)18:38:13 No.775651685 [Reply] >be me What have I done to deserve this
File: 1532036802939.png (64 KB, 507x540) O Anonymous 07/28/18(Sat)18:38:13 No.775651685 [Reply] >be me What have I done to deserve this

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Anon goes on a walk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)06:57:46 No.870579614 >be me >be yesterday or last week or something >be walking down street >suddenly can't remember if I put my shoes on before I left the house >check feet >l've got shoes on >everything worked out just fine in the end 31 KB PNG
: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)06:57:46 No.870579614 >be me >be yesterday or last week or something >be walking down street >suddenly can't remember if I put my shoes on before I left the house >check feet >l've got shoes on >everything worked out just fine in the end 31 KB PNG

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Anons new laptop | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a classic greentext author | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)15:10:56 No.870598958 >be me >be 15 or 23 or 36 or whatever >girl squeezes my dinger >"Let's have sexy interclock with me" >"Yes" >put my dinger in her front bottom >jiggly jiggly 69 KB JPG >spluff in her kazoogie >ok bananas 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)15:10:56 No.870598958 >be me >be 15 or 23 or 36 or whatever >girl squeezes my dinger >"Let's have sexy interclock with me" >"Yes" >put my dinger in her front bottom >jiggly jiggly 69 KB JPG >spluff in her kazoogie >ok bananas 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon gets a puppy | /r/Greentext

ile: 1364342154959.jpg-(361 KB, 800xbUU, x.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: 15/9fhec) 03/26/13(Tue)19:55:54 No.468 ITT: Dog appreciation >be 12 >get a golden retriever puppy >won't quit shivering so l just hold him for hours >name him "Duke" >be 16 >go everywhere with this dog >best friend >dad goes through a lot of marriages >marries crazy bitch with a rescued abused pit bull >pit bull is a prick to everyone except crazy bitch >have to keep it locked up >one day out in front of house >crazy f------ pit bull gets out of cage >runs at me >S---.jpeg >f----- knocks me down and sinks his teeth into me >Duke comes from the backyard >knocks pit bull off me >fights it for lang enough for me to escape >looking back I can see the pif bull tearing my best friend's throat out >l get away >crazy dog runs down street >don't ever see it again >cry at my dead dogs side for a good few hours in front of my house where everyone can see >Duke is buried >crazy bitch blames me for her f------ pit bull >be a week later >hungry >look in the cupboard >Wat >all of my baked bean cans are gone >turn on the news >Duke is a millionaire >m----------- faked his own death to sell my Bush's Baked Beans recipe
ile: 1364342154959.jpg-(361 KB, 800xbUU, x.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: 15/9fhec) 03/26/13(Tue)19:55:54 No.468 ITT: Dog appreciation >be 12 >get a golden retriever puppy >won't quit shivering so l just hold him for hours >name him "Duke" >be 16 >go everywhere with this dog >best friend >dad goes through a lot of marriages >marries crazy bitch with a rescued abused pit bull >pit bull is a prick to everyone except crazy bitch >have to keep it locked up >one day out in front of house >crazy f------ pit bull gets out of cage >runs at me >S---.jpeg >f----- knocks me down and sinks his teeth into me >Duke comes from the backyard >knocks pit bull off me >fights it for lang enough for me to escape >looking back I can see the pif bull tearing my best friend's throat out >l get away >crazy dog runs down street >don't ever see it again >cry at my dead dogs side for a good few hours in front of my house where everyone can see >Duke is buried >crazy bitch blames me for her f------ pit bull >be a week later >hungry >look in the cupboard >Wat >all of my baked bean cans are gone >turn on the news >Duke is a millionaire >m----------- faked his own death to sell my Bush's Baked Beans recipe

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Anon doesn't understand 2080 comedy | /r/Greentext


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Worth the read | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)23:28:11 No.412424646 >>412425018 >>412429058 >>412436391 >>412436659 >>412436981 >>412439415 >>412423415 (OP) The first hatemail i ever got was from xXCARCraZYXx because i died defending the flag in halo 3. OMG chop ur ballz off- was what he sent. After that day i periodically checked his profile every day for about 7 years. Just to see how his life went. 2 years after he sent that message, he dropped Halo 3 entirely for MW2. a year after that he changed his motto to 'I love you Megan' Probably his gf. A few months after that he changed his motto to USMC Semper Fi. A little after that he changed his bio to some rambling b------- about being careful who you upset because you never know when a Marine could be stood behind you. 4 months after that his profile became very anti-government, I guess the marines wasn't for him. Some time after this i managed to find his FB account and i finally saw who he was. A short, ugly p------------ that tried oh so desperately to please daddy. Shortly before i stopped keeping up with him I saw that he had an uggo girlfriend and that she was pregnant. She lost it about 5 months in and he posted one of those 'R.I.P Martin, Daddy loves you' on his profile. That's when i PM'd him a screenshot of the message he sent me with I'm glad your retard baby is dead'. I f------ won that one, hater.
Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)23:28:11 No.412424646 >>412425018 >>412429058 >>412436391 >>412436659 >>412436981 >>412439415 >>412423415 (OP) The first hatemail i ever got was from xXCARCraZYXx because i died defending the flag in halo 3. OMG chop ur ballz off- was what he sent. After that day i periodically checked his profile every day for about 7 years. Just to see how his life went. 2 years after he sent that message, he dropped Halo 3 entirely for MW2. a year after that he changed his motto to 'I love you Megan' Probably his gf. A few months after that he changed his motto to USMC Semper Fi. A little after that he changed his bio to some rambling b------- about being careful who you upset because you never know when a Marine could be stood behind you. 4 months after that his profile became very anti-government, I guess the marines wasn't for him. Some time after this i managed to find his FB account and i finally saw who he was. A short, ugly p------------ that tried oh so desperately to please daddy. Shortly before i stopped keeping up with him I saw that he had an uggo girlfriend and that she was pregnant. She lost it about 5 months in and he posted one of those 'R.I.P Martin, Daddy loves you' on his profile. That's when i PM'd him a screenshot of the message he sent me with I'm glad your retard baby is dead'. I f------ won that one, hater.

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Anon forgets to take their meds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XKwaUvdY 01/13/22(Thu)00:32:35 No.356240834 >Trump gets election stolen from him >POTUS is a deranged p--- owned by China >inflation out of control leading to 31 KB JPG financial disaster >US helped finance/engineer a Bioweapon that China released upon the globe >big pharma making shekels off a s--- "vaccine" that does more harm than good while using globe as lab rats in some experiment >Governments forcing people to take untested gene therapy "vax" to keep their freedoms all while prepping us for the implementation of a social credit system and even more surveillance in the guise of contact tracing. >Feds, various traitors and multinational globohomo f---- keep trying to spark a color revolution >corruption at every level of the US government >satanic p--- cults >media is controlled propaganda
: Anonymous (ID: XKwaUvdY 01/13/22(Thu)00:32:35 No.356240834 >Trump gets election stolen from him >POTUS is a deranged p--- owned by China >inflation out of control leading to 31 KB JPG financial disaster >US helped finance/engineer a Bioweapon that China released upon the globe >big pharma making shekels off a s--- "vaccine" that does more harm than good while using globe as lab rats in some experiment >Governments forcing people to take untested gene therapy "vax" to keep their freedoms all while prepping us for the implementation of a social credit system and even more surveillance in the guise of contact tracing. >Feds, various traitors and multinational globohomo f---- keep trying to spark a color revolution >corruption at every level of the US government >satanic p--- cults >media is controlled propaganda

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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)15:23:11 No.66972200 > be me > stream all movies online for free > listen to family complain about movie prices > tell them to go to my site > "that's illegal, no" > they haven't paid taxes in 11-12 44 KB PNG years > judge them > continue to watch my s--- for free
: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)15:23:11 No.66972200 > be me > stream all movies online for free > listen to family complain about movie prices > tell them to go to my site > "that's illegal, no" > they haven't paid taxes in 11-12 44 KB PNG years > judge them > continue to watch my s--- for free

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Anon is right about commies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/24/21(Fri)03:09:16 No.86370478 >incels think they are entitle to sex >commies think they're entitled to other people's money Are commies just economic incels? 70 KB PNG
Anonymous 09/24/21(Fri)03:09:16 No.86370478 >incels think they are entitle to sex >commies think they're entitled to other people's money Are commies just economic incels? 70 KB PNG

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Hold on to these moments | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21 (Wed)19:36:28 No.62896081 >girl in 11th grade once said I have pretty eyebrows and the girl next to her agreed >still remember it to this day 195 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/24/21 (Wed)19:36:28 No.62896081 >girl in 11th grade once said I have pretty eyebrows and the girl next to her agreed >still remember it to this day 195 KB PNG

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Here we go, the world is spinning. | /r/Greentext


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Anon believes in pseudoscience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 hours ago 25770643 MANDELA EFFECT HAPPENING THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL. WE HAVE JUST SHIFTED TIMELINES AGAIN, THIS TIME LAS VEGAS IS NOW LOCATED IN NEVADA INSTEAD OF CALIFORNIA. I REPEAT, LAS VEGAS IS NO LONGER A CITY IN CALIFORNIA. 9 REPLIES Anonymous 4 hours ago 25770647 >>25770643 (OP) imagine being this actually f------ retarded like howd you even solve the captcha bro 1 REPLY
Anonymous 4 hours ago 25770643 MANDELA EFFECT HAPPENING THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL. WE HAVE JUST SHIFTED TIMELINES AGAIN, THIS TIME LAS VEGAS IS NOW LOCATED IN NEVADA INSTEAD OF CALIFORNIA. I REPEAT, LAS VEGAS IS NO LONGER A CITY IN CALIFORNIA. 9 REPLIES Anonymous 4 hours ago 25770647 >>25770643 (OP) imagine being this actually f------ retarded like howd you even solve the captcha bro 1 REPLY

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Anon's a gamer | /r/Greentext

>be me >Skilled at most games put Infront of me >Have a 7 year old cousin >He plays alot of fortnite >He challenges me to a 1v1 >l accept even though I haven't played in 4 years 104 KB PNG >I kick his ass >He screams and cry's >I get grounded for 3 months >My face worthit.jpg
>be me >Skilled at most games put Infront of me >Have a 7 year old cousin >He plays alot of fortnite >He challenges me to a 1v1 >l accept even though I haven't played in 4 years 104 KB PNG >I kick his ass >He screams and cry's >I get grounded for 3 months >My face worthit.jpg

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Anon the mugger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)01:15:46 No.868290294 >be me >hiding in alleyway >qt girl walking up the street doesn't see me >grab her and pull her into the 17 KB JPG shadows >put knife to her throat >she starts crying but i have my hand over her mouth >muffled "no please please don't no" >pull my phone out of my pocket >put it in front of her face >Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley music video plays >she just looks at it >i let her go and run away laughing like Skeletor from He-Man Anyone else do things like this? it's a very fun prank to pull on late Friday nights when you're alone without any friends or loving caring family members.
: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)01:15:46 No.868290294 >be me >hiding in alleyway >qt girl walking up the street doesn't see me >grab her and pull her into the 17 KB JPG shadows >put knife to her throat >she starts crying but i have my hand over her mouth >muffled "no please please don't no" >pull my phone out of my pocket >put it in front of her face >Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley music video plays >she just looks at it >i let her go and run away laughing like Skeletor from He-Man Anyone else do things like this? it's a very fun prank to pull on late Friday nights when you're alone without any friends or loving caring family members.

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Anon Takes A Dump | /r/Greentext

1h (1/13 1:35) · 870574284 22 Re · 12 Img JPG 575KB (1125 × 1085) ITT: S--- stories, l'll start >be me >have really bad intestines >s--- ~5 times a day, always painful >staying in japan overnight due to flight cancellation >room l'm staying in has a bidet built into the toilet >it even self-cleans, h-------- >never used a bidet, decide to give it a try >get surprised by a jet of icy toilet juices shooting into my ass >not just against it, INTO it >my colon is filled with water >feels like I haven't s--- in a week >push it all out – including s--- I wasn't able to push out before >feel a lot emptier >huh.jpg >try it again, less surprised this time so I relax my butthole >blow out even more s--- >haven't felt this good in months >still feel something, so fire volley #3 >this time, I s--- out water that's brown-red >something plugs the hole >water building behind it >feels like l'm about to force a golf ball out >push with all my might >feel my ancestors lend me their strength in my time of need >finally feel it come barreling out of me at Mach 2 >spherical, black turd fires out of my ass like a musket ball >sounded like someone fired a 120mm howitzer into a bathtub >turd hits bottom of toilet with enough force to make a clank >feels like I dropped the soap >sit there for a few minutes, letting out 10-second farts >occasionally sputter and squirt molten brimstone >the bowl looks like someone loaded Nutella into a blunderbuss >the smell is unlike any other s--- l've had >like sulfur and blood, with a hint of rotten flesh >the funk of 40,000 years >toilet water spills out of me like some f----- up toilet hentai >but I have never felt f------ better >mfw years of bowel problems get cured by power washing my shitpipe >mfw the toilet thanks me in japanese >mfw that f----- cleans itself, leaving no remnant of the Siege of Bungholia I dream of the day I can recreate that s---, but it has yet to come. Someday, /b/ros.
1h (1/13 1:35) · 870574284 22 Re · 12 Img JPG 575KB (1125 × 1085) ITT: S--- stories, l'll start >be me >have really bad intestines >s--- ~5 times a day, always painful >staying in japan overnight due to flight cancellation >room l'm staying in has a bidet built into the toilet >it even self-cleans, h-------- >never used a bidet, decide to give it a try >get surprised by a jet of icy toilet juices shooting into my ass >not just against it, INTO it >my colon is filled with water >feels like I haven't s--- in a week >push it all out – including s--- I wasn't able to push out before >feel a lot emptier >huh.jpg >try it again, less surprised this time so I relax my butthole >blow out even more s--- >haven't felt this good in months >still feel something, so fire volley #3 >this time, I s--- out water that's brown-red >something plugs the hole >water building behind it >feels like l'm about to force a golf ball out >push with all my might >feel my ancestors lend me their strength in my time of need >finally feel it come barreling out of me at Mach 2 >spherical, black turd fires out of my ass like a musket ball >sounded like someone fired a 120mm howitzer into a bathtub >turd hits bottom of toilet with enough force to make a clank >feels like I dropped the soap >sit there for a few minutes, letting out 10-second farts >occasionally sputter and squirt molten brimstone >the bowl looks like someone loaded Nutella into a blunderbuss >the smell is unlike any other s--- l've had >like sulfur and blood, with a hint of rotten flesh >the funk of 40,000 years >toilet water spills out of me like some f----- up toilet hentai >but I have never felt f------ better >mfw years of bowel problems get cured by power washing my shitpipe >mfw the toilet thanks me in japanese >mfw that f----- cleans itself, leaving no remnant of the Siege of Bungholia I dream of the day I can recreate that s---, but it has yet to come. Someday, /b/ros.

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She'll probably outlive anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:44:13 No.3815539 >"king of the jungle" >doesn't actually live in a jungle ??? 253 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)08:40:45 No.3816028 >>3815539 (OP) # >Queen of Australia >Doesn't actually live in Australia 179 KB JPG >>3818624 # >>3818813 #
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:44:13 No.3815539 >"king of the jungle" >doesn't actually live in a jungle ??? 253 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)08:40:45 No.3816028 >>3815539 (OP) # >Queen of Australia >Doesn't actually live in Australia 179 KB JPG >>3818624 # >>3818813 #

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Gym shenanigans | /r/Greentext

>>61173933 (OP) # F--- I can actually relate to this >first month in gym >getting used to talking with people, gym lingo, not being intimidated by people using the weights etc 30 KB JPG >need to take a mad s--- >go to the bathroom, all the stalls are occupied >brain is on full autopilot >knock and ask the guy "how many sets do you have left in there" >realize what I just said >hear the guy inside say what the f--- man >all others laughing >run out and don't come back for a few days >realize no one found out It still keeps me up at night bros
>>61173933 (OP) # F--- I can actually relate to this >first month in gym >getting used to talking with people, gym lingo, not being intimidated by people using the weights etc 30 KB JPG >need to take a mad s--- >go to the bathroom, all the stalls are occupied >brain is on full autopilot >knock and ask the guy "how many sets do you have left in there" >realize what I just said >hear the guy inside say what the f--- man >all others laughing >run out and don't come back for a few days >realize no one found out It still keeps me up at night bros

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