Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon's sister almost gets murdered | /r/Greentext

My sister almost died because she ventures out alone in Russia like a I'm breaking up with you f------ idiot. She told us this over Christmas when visiting my father in Prague. GRRRI What? angry bionicle 53 KB JPG >claims she went out to a bar/dance hall she has been to a few times previously >A guy approaches her and asks to buy her a drink >She said yeah and said they hit it off >He seemed to tremble a bit and she thought perhaps he had Parkinsons or some s--- >they kept talking and then she noticed he would just kind of laugh >she eventually gets weirded out >He asks her to come back to his place but she declined >he kept being pushy and I guess getting louder >Some security guy noticed and kicked him out >She walks home while talking on the phone with another friend. >two days later she turned on the TV to see a dude was just arrested >he had crashed his car and left it >a decapitated body was found in his car >he was a cannibal >it was the guy she was chatting with Thank God my sister is only slightly a hoe and not a complete w----.
My sister almost died because she ventures out alone in Russia like a I'm breaking up with you f------ idiot. She told us this over Christmas when visiting my father in Prague. GRRRI What? angry bionicle 53 KB JPG >claims she went out to a bar/dance hall she has been to a few times previously >A guy approaches her and asks to buy her a drink >She said yeah and said they hit it off >He seemed to tremble a bit and she thought perhaps he had Parkinsons or some s--- >they kept talking and then she noticed he would just kind of laugh >she eventually gets weirded out >He asks her to come back to his place but she declined >he kept being pushy and I guess getting louder >Some security guy noticed and kicked him out >She walks home while talking on the phone with another friend. >two days later she turned on the TV to see a dude was just arrested >he had crashed his car and left it >a decapitated body was found in his car >he was a cannibal >it was the guy she was chatting with Thank God my sister is only slightly a hoe and not a complete w----.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon has a crush | /r/Greentext

>be 12 >get weird feelings for girl >cant describe it >tell her how i feel >she feels same way >we go to reccess >we hide in back of playground >she tells me to take my pants off >lol wut >ask her why >tells me to trust her >i comply and take pants off >standing naked >breeze feels good >she moves her head toward my junk >try not to pee >success >my first ever b------- >d--- like a toothpick but idgaf >recess is over >learn about dinosaurs >they're pretty cool >go home >tell mom about recess >she flips the f--- out >tells my dad >jve made a huge mistake >mom calls cops >cop comes to school >my teacher was arrested >i miss mrs johnson Memecenter.com
>be 12 >get weird feelings for girl >cant describe it >tell her how i feel >she feels same way >we go to reccess >we hide in back of playground >she tells me to take my pants off >lol wut >ask her why >tells me to trust her >i comply and take pants off >standing naked >breeze feels good >she moves her head toward my junk >try not to pee >success >my first ever b------- >d--- like a toothpick but idgaf >recess is over >learn about dinosaurs >they're pretty cool >go home >tell mom about recess >she flips the f--- out >tells my dad >jve made a huge mistake >mom calls cops >cop comes to school >my teacher was arrested >i miss mrs johnson Memecenter.com

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext smile

anon thirsty | /r/Greentext

water Anonymous >be me >thirsty >drink water >not thirsty >thank you water pic related
water Anonymous >be me >thirsty >drink water >not thirsty >thank you water pic related

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext liquid bottle water fluid plastic bottle

anon is not so smart | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon messes up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)23:20:58 No.50283606 When has your autism made you do something really embarassing? >be me 8 years ago >15 yo >have issue where I mix up words in my head with ones I want to say >mom is away and brother is at a 150 KB PNG friends house so just me and dad >dad makes dinner and we eat >thinking to myself I'll beat off then take a shower >going to tel| him l'll s--- then shower >autism.exe I'm gonna go beat off in s--- dad >we stare at each other >dad nods and walks away
: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)23:20:58 No.50283606 When has your autism made you do something really embarassing? >be me 8 years ago >15 yo >have issue where I mix up words in my head with ones I want to say >mom is away and brother is at a 150 KB PNG friends house so just me and dad >dad makes dinner and we eat >thinking to myself I'll beat off then take a shower >going to tel| him l'll s--- then shower >autism.exe I'm gonna go beat off in s--- dad >we stare at each other >dad nods and walks away

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy

Anon got himself a wife | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/22(Sun)02:29:10 No.67007794 >be 20 y/o permavirgin >horny 24/7 >no attention from girls >get desperate thinking im gonna die a virgin >might aswell go full h--- >start to hit on this discord femboy 97 KB JPG >we actually get along >ffw 4 months >we now do erp where he is the bottom and im the top pretty much daily >actually gets me horny like crazy >ask him if he wants to come to my place >he says yes >shows up in one of those anime sundresses >rocksolid.png >we do a little chat and then ask him if he wants to do it >he says yes and starts to undress >seeing his petite body makes me go full a------ >pin him down and the rest is history >ffw 3 weeks >he moved in with me calls me darling, pretends to be my wife, cooks do the dishes etc. >mfw I actually got wife now
: Anonymous 01/16/22(Sun)02:29:10 No.67007794 >be 20 y/o permavirgin >horny 24/7 >no attention from girls >get desperate thinking im gonna die a virgin >might aswell go full h--- >start to hit on this discord femboy 97 KB JPG >we actually get along >ffw 4 months >we now do erp where he is the bottom and im the top pretty much daily >actually gets me horny like crazy >ask him if he wants to come to my place >he says yes >shows up in one of those anime sundresses >rocksolid.png >we do a little chat and then ask him if he wants to do it >he says yes and starts to undress >seeing his petite body makes me go full a------ >pin him down and the rest is history >ffw 3 weeks >he moved in with me calls me darling, pretends to be my wife, cooks do the dishes etc. >mfw I actually got wife now

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon loses his neethood | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 01/07/19(Mon)21:04:19 No.789381010 Well guys, this is it. >be me >high school graduate >parents are done with my lazy presence around the house 110 KB JPG >tell me to get a job, but are nice about it >l understand their concern about me growing up >19th birthday is later this month >I think long and hard one night >fuckit.jpg >go to bed early, wake up early >make myself presentable to the outside world >go to local safeway >ask assistant manager about any positions >she asks for my information to give me a call later >2 hours later I get a call >interviewconfirmed.exe >wake up supremely early next morning >walk to safeway for interview and sign papers >I'm going to work as a produce clerk next week
| Anonymous 01/07/19(Mon)21:04:19 No.789381010 Well guys, this is it. >be me >high school graduate >parents are done with my lazy presence around the house 110 KB JPG >tell me to get a job, but are nice about it >l understand their concern about me growing up >19th birthday is later this month >I think long and hard one night >fuckit.jpg >go to bed early, wake up early >make myself presentable to the outside world >go to local safeway >ask assistant manager about any positions >she asks for my information to give me a call later >2 hours later I get a call >interviewconfirmed.exe >wake up supremely early next morning >walk to safeway for interview and sign papers >I'm going to work as a produce clerk next week

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant font

Some men just want to watch the world burn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Movie idea 07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is 20 KB JPG an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues
: Anonymous Movie idea 07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is 20 KB JPG an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Anon’s had a dog. | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)03:17:42 No.789437326 >be me at age 11 >have dog >cool guy >love dog >dog licks my face constantly >feelsgood.jpg >makes me feel like someone 305 KB PNG actually gives a f--- about me >he doesn't lick anyone else like that so I think I'm his favorite person >one day I look out at him in the back yard through a window >see him eat an entire pile of s--- >mfw I realize why there's never dog s--- in the yard >mfw when he's been eating doodoo and licking my face >mfw when he's probably doing it just to spite me Felt bad.
:Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)03:17:42 No.789437326 >be me at age 11 >have dog >cool guy >love dog >dog licks my face constantly >feelsgood.jpg >makes me feel like someone 305 KB PNG actually gives a f--- about me >he doesn't lick anyone else like that so I think I'm his favorite person >one day I look out at him in the back yard through a window >see him eat an entire pile of s--- >mfw I realize why there's never dog s--- in the yard >mfw when he's been eating doodoo and licking my face >mfw when he's probably doing it just to spite me Felt bad.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon sells socks | /r/Greentext

>be me >18, f >broke uni student >make a joke about selling used socks to a friend online >start getting random dms asking for prices >play along to see how much these weirdos would pay >end up selling a pair to a guy for 50 quid >sell them to him and one other guy every month 41.9 kB JPG >never thought my life would come to this >selling my used socks is my only source of income >l hate my life
>be me >18, f >broke uni student >make a joke about selling used socks to a friend online >start getting random dms asking for prices >play along to see how much these weirdos would pay >end up selling a pair to a guy for 50 quid >sell them to him and one other guy every month 41.9 kB JPG >never thought my life would come to this >selling my used socks is my only source of income >l hate my life

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy

being smart feels good | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

this greentext was posted here ~3 years ago, i'm trying to find the original post | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Thu 14 Feb 2019 18:21:29 No.792652482 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>792652550 >>792652745 >>792652759 >>792652884 >>792652939 >>792654264 >>79265 >senior year of high school >best friend kills herself >teacher announces it to class >everyone pretends to be sad for 15 minutes >that's it >ffw few months >stacy kills herself >school holds some big "in memorium" s--- in the gym >counseling services get offered to help deal with this tradgic loss >big anti-bullying campaign gets launched >what the f--- 25KİB, 474x459, .jpg >ffw few more months View >yearbook comes out Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO >flippinghrough, see big 2 page spread dedicated to stacy complete with s----- poetry >all my best friend ever got was her name in the "not pictured" section life is so unfair, bros
Anonymous Thu 14 Feb 2019 18:21:29 No.792652482 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>792652550 >>792652745 >>792652759 >>792652884 >>792652939 >>792654264 >>79265 >senior year of high school >best friend kills herself >teacher announces it to class >everyone pretends to be sad for 15 minutes >that's it >ffw few months >stacy kills herself >school holds some big "in memorium" s--- in the gym >counseling services get offered to help deal with this tradgic loss >big anti-bullying campaign gets launched >what the f--- 25KİB, 474x459, .jpg >ffw few more months View >yearbook comes out Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO >flippinghrough, see big 2 page spread dedicated to stacy complete with s----- poetry >all my best friend ever got was her name in the "not pictured" section life is so unfair, bros

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw terrestrial plant

Anon reports animal abuse | /r/Greentext

>go on date last night with a girl I met through bumble >she picked the spot >sit down and start making small talk but then she goes quiet looking at the menu 3.58 MB GIF >she says she can't eat anything except a salad >breaks the news she is a vegan >she immediately starts getting bitchy about the place not having options to accommodate her You picked this place dumbass >told her I can ask if the chef will make something >chef offers to make stuffed pepper with rice and vegetables >she agrees >talks resume as she seems calm now F------ finally >she says she has a dog >dog is on a vegan diet thatsabuse.png >immediately ask for the check >tell her it isn't working out so I paid for an entree I didn't even get >wish her best of luck but she quietly called me an a------ >walked out and immediately reported her for animal abuse Why is everyone on a dating app a f------ psychopath or someone who thinks they're a better catch than they really are? F--- this.
>go on date last night with a girl I met through bumble >she picked the spot >sit down and start making small talk but then she goes quiet looking at the menu 3.58 MB GIF >she says she can't eat anything except a salad >breaks the news she is a vegan >she immediately starts getting bitchy about the place not having options to accommodate her You picked this place dumbass >told her I can ask if the chef will make something >chef offers to make stuffed pepper with rice and vegetables >she agrees >talks resume as she seems calm now F------ finally >she says she has a dog >dog is on a vegan diet thatsabuse.png >immediately ask for the check >tell her it isn't working out so I paid for an entree I didn't even get >wish her best of luck but she quietly called me an a------ >walked out and immediately reported her for animal abuse Why is everyone on a dating app a f------ psychopath or someone who thinks they're a better catch than they really are? F--- this.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Ohhhhhh ok | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)21:40:22 No.63926240 >At Barnes and Noble >Walk up behind girl and put my hand on her shoulder "Beth?" >She turns around confused >Apologize and tell her she looked like my dead sister >See she is looking at Nichijou 15 KB JPG "Hey the anime for that is pretty funny, have you seen it?" >She still seems confused >We'll definitely have to discuss it over lunch sometime >Give her a note with my snapchat on it and walk away >mfw she adds me >mfw when we're getting lunch tomorrow >mfw when she confused my autistic scheme for confidence or something 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:14:55 No.63927288 THE EYE MAN ALSEAL >>63926240 (OP) # I'm both disgusted and amazed. Well played anon 373 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:16:09 No.63927300 >>63926240 (OP) # What a play bro. Congrats, you're gonna make it.
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)21:40:22 No.63926240 >At Barnes and Noble >Walk up behind girl and put my hand on her shoulder "Beth?" >She turns around confused >Apologize and tell her she looked like my dead sister >See she is looking at Nichijou 15 KB JPG "Hey the anime for that is pretty funny, have you seen it?" >She still seems confused >We'll definitely have to discuss it over lunch sometime >Give her a note with my snapchat on it and walk away >mfw she adds me >mfw when we're getting lunch tomorrow >mfw when she confused my autistic scheme for confidence or something 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:14:55 No.63927288 THE EYE MAN ALSEAL >>63926240 (OP) # I'm both disgusted and amazed. Well played anon 373 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)23:16:09 No.63927300 >>63926240 (OP) # What a play bro. Congrats, you're gonna make it.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product font

Anon has health class | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw
> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon Wakes Up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/22(Sat)15:19:16 No.870735033 >Australia had a rabbit plague in the mid 1800s >They tried a variety of methods to get rid of them >Eventually they got desperate, and switched to the unconventional 13 KB GIF >They made fake rabbits that were more attractive than the real rabbits >The ones attracted to the fake rabbits didn't breed and the population was thus reduced >Tfw they're doing it with people now >Tfw I figured out why Anime girls exist The scary part is from what l've seen, it's working.
: Anonymous 01/15/22(Sat)15:19:16 No.870735033 >Australia had a rabbit plague in the mid 1800s >They tried a variety of methods to get rid of them >Eventually they got desperate, and switched to the unconventional 13 KB GIF >They made fake rabbits that were more attractive than the real rabbits >The ones attracted to the fake rabbits didn't breed and the population was thus reduced >Tfw they're doing it with people now >Tfw I figured out why Anime girls exist The scary part is from what l've seen, it's working.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon lives in Alabama. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)13:26:09 No.50311760 >be me, 10 >6/10 beta f-- >nice to everyone for no f------ Reason >dad got remarried to a single mom with 15/10 daughter >gets crush on her >masturbate thinking about her 28 KB PNG everyday >obviously into step sister p--- >gets really close to her and help her in everything >gets to accidentally touch her here and there (I am actually very clumsy) >last week she texts me to pick her up from her friend's house party because she's drunk AF >bring her home >carry her somehow to her room >she tells that she actually likes me >l am like yeah I like you too >she says no really I like you >and then she starts kissing me >Then we have sex >lost_virginity.jpeg >sex was amature AF >go to my room afterwards >think about it all night and J------- more >gets paranoid because she might think I took advantage of her and tell it to my father and her mother >OhShit.png >next day >she says she likes it >had sex 3 times since then But now I don't know what to do, because this relationship has no future. 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)13:27:48 No.50311781 >>50311760 (OP) # I am 18 not 10. That was a typo. And she's 19
: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)13:26:09 No.50311760 >be me, 10 >6/10 beta f-- >nice to everyone for no f------ Reason >dad got remarried to a single mom with 15/10 daughter >gets crush on her >masturbate thinking about her 28 KB PNG everyday >obviously into step sister p--- >gets really close to her and help her in everything >gets to accidentally touch her here and there (I am actually very clumsy) >last week she texts me to pick her up from her friend's house party because she's drunk AF >bring her home >carry her somehow to her room >she tells that she actually likes me >l am like yeah I like you too >she says no really I like you >and then she starts kissing me >Then we have sex >lost_virginity.jpeg >sex was amature AF >go to my room afterwards >think about it all night and J------- more >gets paranoid because she might think I took advantage of her and tell it to my father and her mother >OhShit.png >next day >she says she likes it >had sex 3 times since then But now I don't know what to do, because this relationship has no future. 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)13:27:48 No.50311781 >>50311760 (OP) # I am 18 not 10. That was a typo. And she's 19

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon likes pee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)14:51:04 No.20187725 I want a car previously owned by a cute teenaged girl with a very weak bladder. The more times she's peed in the seat, the better. The humiliation and 49 KB JPG embarassment she felt during those leaky moments would make the smell even more potent. Can you guys help me find my dream car? >>20187950 # >>20188103 # Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)15:54:40 No.20187950 >>20187725 # f------ weebs
: Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)14:51:04 No.20187725 I want a car previously owned by a cute teenaged girl with a very weak bladder. The more times she's peed in the seat, the better. The humiliation and 49 KB JPG embarassment she felt during those leaky moments would make the smell even more potent. Can you guys help me find my dream car? >>20187950 # >>20188103 # Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)15:54:40 No.20187950 >>20187725 # f------ weebs

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon doesnt like his milk | /r/Greentext

6 Anonymous | 50270150 Vor 1 Std. .. ITT: Autistic s--- you did as a child >be me in elementary school >always get chocolate milk >one day they're out of chocolate >get strawberry instead, pleasantly surprised >strawberry has pink carton >chocolate has brown carton 146,1 kB JPG >get the green carton of milk the next day >think it will be green flavored >it's just f----- normal-ass milk >get mad >dump milk onto the kid sitting next to me and kick him out of his chair (with my foot) that kid died of a heroin overdose last year
6 Anonymous | 50270150 Vor 1 Std. .. ITT: Autistic s--- you did as a child >be me in elementary school >always get chocolate milk >one day they're out of chocolate >get strawberry instead, pleasantly surprised >strawberry has pink carton >chocolate has brown carton 146,1 kB JPG >get the green carton of milk the next day >think it will be green flavored >it's just f----- normal-ass milk >get mad >dump milk onto the kid sitting next to me and kick him out of his chair (with my foot) that kid died of a heroin overdose last year

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism terrestrial plant font

Anon gets a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)11:20:09 No.46106774 I think I finally did it, guys. I think I finally made it. I finally got a g/f and lost my virginity. ;; >been trying for years to get better at social 44 KB JPG >goal is to lose virginity (I know, I know) >only in last couple years, in late twenties, were there any signs of progress >can now chat with random women without being pepper sprayed >slowly gain their trust and invitations to events >ease self into parties and dances >meet qt shy girl who likes anime (no one else knows I'm into anime) >over weeks, we bond and become closer >for a while, it was only coffee shops or bookstores >then to the movies >then quick rendezvous to sushi or niche food carts >then restaurants >then finally hanging out at each other's place >never been so happy before >she's finally confident enough to cuddle into my arms and fall asleep >want to tell her I love her so bad >still too shy >eventually she calls me up >she's more quiet and stuttery than usual >but quickly after, admits her feelings for me, and how much she feels for me >nervously said I felt the same way >we start to giggle and chat excitedly for god knows how long >end the phone call with us repeating "I love you" for almost a half-hour straight >schedule another hang out at the end of the weeks >so excited, never been this happy in my life >decide to celebrate by ordering an escort online: and losing my virginity to her
: Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)11:20:09 No.46106774 I think I finally did it, guys. I think I finally made it. I finally got a g/f and lost my virginity. ;; >been trying for years to get better at social 44 KB JPG >goal is to lose virginity (I know, I know) >only in last couple years, in late twenties, were there any signs of progress >can now chat with random women without being pepper sprayed >slowly gain their trust and invitations to events >ease self into parties and dances >meet qt shy girl who likes anime (no one else knows I'm into anime) >over weeks, we bond and become closer >for a while, it was only coffee shops or bookstores >then to the movies >then quick rendezvous to sushi or niche food carts >then restaurants >then finally hanging out at each other's place >never been so happy before >she's finally confident enough to cuddle into my arms and fall asleep >want to tell her I love her so bad >still too shy >eventually she calls me up >she's more quiet and stuttery than usual >but quickly after, admits her feelings for me, and how much she feels for me >nervously said I felt the same way >we start to giggle and chat excitedly for god knows how long >end the phone call with us repeating "I love you" for almost a half-hour straight >schedule another hang out at the end of the weeks >so excited, never been this happy in my life >decide to celebrate by ordering an escort online: and losing my virginity to her

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font