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We saved him! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)17:26:22 No.857517553 >WE SAVED HIM! Yes! We did it team! We can keep him alive for decades! Sure he has no legs, no penis, no bottom half at all in fact, he'll never do anything sexual again. He'll never have children. He has no right arm, has to eject bodily waste into a bag for the rest of his life, can't work a job ever again, can't do anything physical ever again, will have a very difficult time playing video games or operating a computer, he will need a care taker for the rest of his life, will be a drain on society, a 170 KB JPG depressing burden on his family, and will ptobably begin to mentally deteriorate and suffer once reality sets in that this will be the rest of his life until he dies, but that's okay, because we saved him. If this happened to an animal like a dog or a cat we'd put the animal down to end its suffering out of the kindness of our hearts, but not here, here, we saved him and he can live and live and live and if he ever tries to commit suicide we will easily put him on 24/7 Suicide watch to ensure he can live out his life to the fullest! We can keep him alive to suffer for decades! We are heroes. 82 Replies / 23 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)17:26:22 No.857517553 >WE SAVED HIM! Yes! We did it team! We can keep him alive for decades! Sure he has no legs, no penis, no bottom half at all in fact, he'll never do anything sexual again. He'll never have children. He has no right arm, has to eject bodily waste into a bag for the rest of his life, can't work a job ever again, can't do anything physical ever again, will have a very difficult time playing video games or operating a computer, he will need a care taker for the rest of his life, will be a drain on society, a 170 KB JPG depressing burden on his family, and will ptobably begin to mentally deteriorate and suffer once reality sets in that this will be the rest of his life until he dies, but that's okay, because we saved him. If this happened to an animal like a dog or a cat we'd put the animal down to end its suffering out of the kindness of our hearts, but not here, here, we saved him and he can live and live and live and if he ever tries to commit suicide we will easily put him on 24/7 Suicide watch to ensure he can live out his life to the fullest! We can keep him alive to suffer for decades! We are heroes. 82 Replies / 23 Images View Thread

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bfiwnqofy×;jsheisp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/22(Mon)23:58:18 No.19725664 Do blind people prefer braille or audiobooks? 23 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)00:01:25 No.19725673 aff jifehiuq jdaka. kofal, fm jafafenafeoq jhfbhoo0 abf,. kaefnfm afiahq.,/.., >>19725769 # >>19725813 # >>19726188 # >>19726200 # >>19726253 # : Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)00:05:05 No.19725682 kjkjkn jjnn ...[I,b,.,io0i9 j22 dnc cnc j jcj igr8e96j fnsdo >19725692 # >>19725769 # >>19725813 # >>19726188 # >>19726200 # >>19726253 # : Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)00:08:29 No.19725692 >>19725682 # asf9rfivv fjcdvnijdviv..., , p]fv" sjdnfeirnrnfnf mndennrnn578ggh
: Anonymous 01/10/22(Mon)23:58:18 No.19725664 Do blind people prefer braille or audiobooks? 23 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)00:01:25 No.19725673 aff jifehiuq jdaka. kofal, fm jafafenafeoq jhfbhoo0 abf,. kaefnfm afiahq.,/.., >>19725769 # >>19725813 # >>19726188 # >>19726200 # >>19726253 # : Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)00:05:05 No.19725682 kjkjkn jjnn ...[I,b,.,io0i9 j22 dnc cnc j jcj igr8e96j fnsdo >19725692 # >>19725769 # >>19725813 # >>19726188 # >>19726200 # >>19726253 # : Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)00:08:29 No.19725692 >>19725682 # asf9rfivv fjcdvnijdviv..., , p]fv" sjdnfeirnrnfnf mndennrnn578ggh

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Anon feels scammed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)04:56:22 No.871034662 FARCRY5 >get a 2080 >finally able to run Far Cry 5 >yesssssss >turns out all you do in this game is kill based chads I feel scammed. 48 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)04:56:22 No.871034662 FARCRY5 >get a 2080 >finally able to run Far Cry 5 >yesssssss >turns out all you do in this game is kill based chads I feel scammed. 48 KB JPG

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Anon has sweet balls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/20(Thu)22:34:53 No.56193776 >read online that there's taste buds on our balls that can apparently detect sweetness >decide to try it out for myself 7 >go to bathroom and dip balls in sugar water mixture >mfw i can literally taste the 15 KB JPG sweetness what the f--- is going on bros
: Anonymous 01/09/20(Thu)22:34:53 No.56193776 >read online that there's taste buds on our balls that can apparently detect sweetness >decide to try it out for myself 7 >go to bathroom and dip balls in sugar water mixture >mfw i can literally taste the 15 KB JPG sweetness what the f--- is going on bros

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Anon is single | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)12:46:01 No.871034426 >girl I'm seeing comes round my place for the first time >showing her round, get to the bathroom >Thanks to me spending too much time on /b I inadvertently tell her there isn't a hidden waterproof camera in there 29 KB JPG >mfw >she stops dead and pulls a disgusted face >she went to "get some fresh air" and hasn't come back F--- you all for posting that degenerate s---, and f--- me for watching it
: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)12:46:01 No.871034426 >girl I'm seeing comes round my place for the first time >showing her round, get to the bathroom >Thanks to me spending too much time on /b I inadvertently tell her there isn't a hidden waterproof camera in there 29 KB JPG >mfw >she stops dead and pulls a disgusted face >she went to "get some fresh air" and hasn't come back F--- you all for posting that degenerate s---, and f--- me for watching it

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anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)09:47:27 No.871040490 >be me, 27 >amazing kind girlfriend >she has autistic 31 y/o brother >bit odd, really loves trains, MTG, and Roman imperial history >we vibe hard, get in the zone sperging about trains and imperium wizkids 140 KB PNG >mostly non verbal recluse now has fellow nerdbro to shoot the s--- with >parents love me >"anon is so good with him! He really goes out of his way to be his friend" >literally just vibing with dude >don't feel the need to check myself when I go off on my fixations >am I autistic, /b?
: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)09:47:27 No.871040490 >be me, 27 >amazing kind girlfriend >she has autistic 31 y/o brother >bit odd, really loves trains, MTG, and Roman imperial history >we vibe hard, get in the zone sperging about trains and imperium wizkids 140 KB PNG >mostly non verbal recluse now has fellow nerdbro to shoot the s--- with >parents love me >"anon is so good with him! He really goes out of his way to be his friend" >literally just vibing with dude >don't feel the need to check myself when I go off on my fixations >am I autistic, /b?

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Anon is a military mastermind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)09:27:30 No.871033967 why were generals retarded back then? >durrr we stand 30 feet from each other and take turns shooting then wait 2 mins to reload and repeat hur hur! I would have had iron shields to block shots, send in katana cancer patients as suicide flanking squids while they reloaded and last but not least a volley of archers 402 KB JPG shooting 40 arrows a min per person holy f--- people were stupid back then
: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)09:27:30 No.871033967 why were generals retarded back then? >durrr we stand 30 feet from each other and take turns shooting then wait 2 mins to reload and repeat hur hur! I would have had iron shields to block shots, send in katana cancer patients as suicide flanking squids while they reloaded and last but not least a volley of archers 402 KB JPG shooting 40 arrows a min per person holy f--- people were stupid back then

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Anon has a great 2019 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my 72 KB PNG house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is normal since we're pretty close >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >l pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone
: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my 72 KB PNG house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is normal since we're pretty close >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >l pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone

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Anon and his dad share a touching moment. | /r/Greentext

>> U Anonymous 02/01/18(Thu)12:56:35 No.94008428 File: feelstooreal.gif (263 KB, 319x255) >>94004782 (OP) >watch movie with parents >Father tells his son that he loves him >look to my dad >"Don't get any stupid f------ ideas" >0-okay
>> U Anonymous 02/01/18(Thu)12:56:35 No.94008428 File: feelstooreal.gif (263 KB, 319x255) >>94004782 (OP) >watch movie with parents >Father tells his son that he loves him >look to my dad >"Don't get any stupid f------ ideas" >0-okay

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Anon played himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:59:04 No.848456155 >be me saturday morning >carefully walking to bedroom with a cup full of coffee >realize f--- it, I can just yeet this cup, future me will have to clean it up >yeet said cup, coffee everywhere on 19 KB JPG carpet and bed >j------- while laughing at cuck future me >mfw I'm future me
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:59:04 No.848456155 >be me saturday morning >carefully walking to bedroom with a cup full of coffee >realize f--- it, I can just yeet this cup, future me will have to clean it up >yeet said cup, coffee everywhere on 19 KB JPG carpet and bed >j------- while laughing at cuck future me >mfw I'm future me

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Anon has a dream! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they convinced me to come 10 KB JPG along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hicc >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and that's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they convinced me to come 10 KB JPG along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hicc >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and that's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is in denial | /r/Greentext

H8SYBAEI (OP) 10m (1/20 14:13) · 357303044 7 Re 3 Img JPG 70KB (750O × 1334) 4 Replies S TikTok enamjooncrispytitties >watch tv >"russia is going to invade" >listen to car radio >"russia is going to invade" >go on the internet >"russia is going to invade" >talk with other people >"russia is going to invade" Thate journalists so much. Nothing is going to happen yet they keep riling everyone up, every single time. I'm So sick of it.
H8SYBAEI (OP) 10m (1/20 14:13) · 357303044 7 Re 3 Img JPG 70KB (750O × 1334) 4 Replies S TikTok enamjooncrispytitties >watch tv >"russia is going to invade" >listen to car radio >"russia is going to invade" >go on the internet >"russia is going to invade" >talk with other people >"russia is going to invade" Thate journalists so much. Nothing is going to happen yet they keep riling everyone up, every single time. I'm So sick of it.

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Anon likes 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)06:01:57 No.871036510 >be me >shitpost to 4chan >get 4chan replies >be me >ask 4chan a genuine question that had been nagging me >Comments are filled with genuine information 446 KB JPG >the internet lies about you people >have a wonderful day :D
: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)06:01:57 No.871036510 >be me >shitpost to 4chan >get 4chan replies >be me >ask 4chan a genuine question that had been nagging me >Comments are filled with genuine information 446 KB JPG >the internet lies about you people >have a wonderful day :D

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Anon is alone | /r/Greentext

>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.
>Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me last week >She moved out while I was at work >Went into computer room >Her desk is completely empty 13 KB JPG >I sit down and browse the internet for a bit >Looking at random funny videos >Hours pass >Find one funny video I can't stop laughing at >"Hey you have to see th-" >Turn to see an empty desk beside mine I thought she was still here.

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anon doesn't trust the Gov | /r/Greentext


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Anon is tall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)14:08:18 No.67070737 I'm tired IMSORRY BUT FEMBOY HOOTERS YOUR SOCKS ARENTTALLENOUGH TO WORK HERE Tmgfip.com RDT_20211228_1613327834922091457431188.png 879 KB PNG >6"5 >live in a country that uses metric so nobody cares Americans have it so easy CITE
: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)14:08:18 No.67070737 I'm tired IMSORRY BUT FEMBOY HOOTERS YOUR SOCKS ARENTTALLENOUGH TO WORK HERE Tmgfip.com RDT_20211228_1613327834922091457431188.png 879 KB PNG >6"5 >live in a country that uses metric so nobody cares Americans have it so easy CITE

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Anon is an actor | /r/Greentext

23.07 ul 4G : Anonymous 10/23/21(Sat)02:26:36 No.865389576 >Be me, 63 y/o male, actor, married for 2nd time >Have affair with Co worker on film set ALEC BALDWIN - F.A.G. >She threatens to tell my wife >Shitshitshit 11 KB JPG >FFW few days, keep affair going but have a plan >Decide to replace blank rounds with live bullet in prop gun >Accidentally fire live round at co worker. Kill her. >Use all my acting skills to get off the hook and blame everyone else. Anons did I do good? Pic not related
23.07 ul 4G : Anonymous 10/23/21(Sat)02:26:36 No.865389576 >Be me, 63 y/o male, actor, married for 2nd time >Have affair with Co worker on film set ALEC BALDWIN - F.A.G. >She threatens to tell my wife >Shitshitshit 11 KB JPG >FFW few days, keep affair going but have a plan >Decide to replace blank rounds with live bullet in prop gun >Accidentally fire live round at co worker. Kill her. >Use all my acting skills to get off the hook and blame everyone else. Anons did I do good? Pic not related

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Anon hate women. | /r/Greentext

File: thonk.jpg (30 KB, 610x357) O Anonymous 01/02/22(Sun)00:58:06 No.869783557 >Be me >Walking down the street >Run into another guy >We do that thing where you move side to side simultaneously and keep accidentally blocking each other. >Y'know, that thing. >He shrugs and says "great minds think alike!" >We laugh, fist-bump, and go our separate ways. >Few weeks later, same thing happens >Woman this time. >She's a solid cute/10 >idea.jpg >"Hey, great minds think ali-" >She rolls her eyes, scoffs loudly, and angrily shoulders past me. >Calls me a "f------ idiot" on her way out for good measure. How do I become gay? Does electroshock therapy work in reverse too?
File: thonk.jpg (30 KB, 610x357) O Anonymous 01/02/22(Sun)00:58:06 No.869783557 >Be me >Walking down the street >Run into another guy >We do that thing where you move side to side simultaneously and keep accidentally blocking each other. >Y'know, that thing. >He shrugs and says "great minds think alike!" >We laugh, fist-bump, and go our separate ways. >Few weeks later, same thing happens >Woman this time. >She's a solid cute/10 >idea.jpg >"Hey, great minds think ali-" >She rolls her eyes, scoffs loudly, and angrily shoulders past me. >Calls me a "f------ idiot" on her way out for good measure. How do I become gay? Does electroshock therapy work in reverse too?

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Anon is a permanent virgin | /r/Greentext

File: 2C992141-1C85-48E2-943A-E(..).png (87 KB, 684x576) Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)21:52:13 No.67065253 Anons what sealed your fate as a permanent virgin? >be me >flashback to my freshman year of high school >i look decent, not a f------ but not ugly as s---, no one would really wanna date me though and im too p---- to talk to a girl >not many friends either, and i sat alone at lunch >end of semester exams happening >physics exam today >all set, notes done and everything, feel like im actually gonna do good on it >sit alone at lunch, again >really popular and hot girl who is in my physics class comes up to me and asks me if i want to study with her for the exam next period >enormousopportunity.png >taken aback because i didn't think she would ask such an outcast like me >give my best response >"no im already set for it thanks" >she walks away giving an "okay i guess" look >im blissfully unaware of the incredibly retarded decision i just made >guys down the table look at me and they look like they are going to have heart attacks >"ANON WHY THE F--- WOULD YOU REJECT HER" >"_because im already set for the exam and i don't need to study?" >finish my lunch >go sit in my secret spot on a distant part of the campus for the rest of the lunch period, alone >ponder over the decision >slowly realize the enormous opportunity to build a social life that i just threw away >never made a move on a girl since and was pretty much alone for the rest of high school >to this day i feel like such a retard I actually did pretty good on the exam
File: 2C992141-1C85-48E2-943A-E(..).png (87 KB, 684x576) Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)21:52:13 No.67065253 Anons what sealed your fate as a permanent virgin? >be me >flashback to my freshman year of high school >i look decent, not a f------ but not ugly as s---, no one would really wanna date me though and im too p---- to talk to a girl >not many friends either, and i sat alone at lunch >end of semester exams happening >physics exam today >all set, notes done and everything, feel like im actually gonna do good on it >sit alone at lunch, again >really popular and hot girl who is in my physics class comes up to me and asks me if i want to study with her for the exam next period >enormousopportunity.png >taken aback because i didn't think she would ask such an outcast like me >give my best response >"no im already set for it thanks" >she walks away giving an "okay i guess" look >im blissfully unaware of the incredibly retarded decision i just made >guys down the table look at me and they look like they are going to have heart attacks >"ANON WHY THE F--- WOULD YOU REJECT HER" >"_because im already set for the exam and i don't need to study?" >finish my lunch >go sit in my secret spot on a distant part of the campus for the rest of the lunch period, alone >ponder over the decision >slowly realize the enormous opportunity to build a social life that i just threw away >never made a move on a girl since and was pretty much alone for the rest of high school >to this day i feel like such a retard I actually did pretty good on the exam

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4Chan i blame you | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.
Anonymous | 761573897 9 min. ago 4chan I blame you. >be me, 17 >just got license >home alone, want McD's >Drive in my Mom's minivan >4chan has been daily browsing for me at this point >drive through >"Yeah, uhm, can I get a 10 pc of some chicken tendies?" >whatthefuckdidljustsay.exe has been executed >this m----------- says "sure anon" >oneofus.jpg >drive to window, embarrassed af >guy is 20 something, says "you seem chill" and passes me note with his twitter >dm him >now best friends.

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