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Anon doesn't need a flute | /r/Greentext


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Anons know their facts | /r/Greentext


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Anon sees a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:39:08 No.863546656 >Walk into your bedroom >You find Belle Delphine on your bed Wat do??? 74 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:40:16 No.863546726 >>863546656 (OP) # NO OFF THE BED GIT 60 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:39:08 No.863546656 >Walk into your bedroom >You find Belle Delphine on your bed Wat do??? 74 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:40:16 No.863546726 >>863546656 (OP) # NO OFF THE BED GIT 60 KB JPG

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Anon pirates a game | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 476925202 10 min. ago >run pirated game >printer starts making noise >full black page, both sides 1 REPLY 31.0 kB JPG
Anonymous 476925202 10 min. ago >run pirated game >printer starts making noise >full black page, both sides 1 REPLY 31.0 kB JPG

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Cider store rules | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45991336 35 perccel ezelőt .0. >be me >24yo femanon >qt 17yo boys outside tesco ask me to buy them cider >hatch plan >walk into tesco and grab the cider >approach qt employee >explain that i saw my abusive bf outside >"don't worry, you can leave through the back door" 67,4 kB JPG >thank him >pay for the cider with the teenagers' money >leave out back door >drink the cider by the canal and browse 4chan on a local cafe's wifi >mfw 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 45991336 35 perccel ezelőt .0. >be me >24yo femanon >qt 17yo boys outside tesco ask me to buy them cider >hatch plan >walk into tesco and grab the cider >approach qt employee >explain that i saw my abusive bf outside >"don't worry, you can leave through the back door" 67,4 kB JPG >thank him >pay for the cider with the teenagers' money >leave out back door >drink the cider by the canal and browse 4chan on a local cafe's wifi >mfw 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon farts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)21:04:34 No.871405503 So I just ruined my life. >be me >in college at lecture >Have upset stomach from night before 177 KB JPG >Ohno.png >Need to go to restroom >Head towards exit >Feel need to fart >Fart >Bad idea >It's a f------ log of s--- >lt slides out from my pants onto the carpet >People are looking >Think that l'll need to pretend to pass out in order to deflect the sheer embarrassment >Pretend to pass out but I land in the log of s--- >Realize and adjust my position >Realize that my attempt to pretend to pass out looks really fake >Literally everyone in the lecture room of about 600 people is looking at me >Leave the lecture theatre stained with s--- >Go home and cry How f----- am l? There is no way people will forget this. 46 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)21:04:34 No.871405503 So I just ruined my life. >be me >in college at lecture >Have upset stomach from night before 177 KB JPG >Ohno.png >Need to go to restroom >Head towards exit >Feel need to fart >Fart >Bad idea >It's a f------ log of s--- >lt slides out from my pants onto the carpet >People are looking >Think that l'll need to pretend to pass out in order to deflect the sheer embarrassment >Pretend to pass out but I land in the log of s--- >Realize and adjust my position >Realize that my attempt to pretend to pass out looks really fake >Literally everyone in the lecture room of about 600 people is looking at me >Leave the lecture theatre stained with s--- >Go home and cry How f----- am l? There is no way people will forget this. 46 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Anon looks like a celebrity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)04:29:04 No.23691744 >be me, closeted straight ftm >in middle/high school in the 2000s >am around 10lb overweight >Juno comes out >I look sort of like Ellen Page >get called "fat Juno" for the rest of 66 KB JPG school >much time passes >transition >move states, keep no one from old life >still 10lb overweight but lower body fat >stealth >Elliot Page comes out >coworkers talking about it >"ha, they look kind of like anon now" >no >please no 7... >am now "big Elliot"
: Anonymous 12/22/21(Wed)04:29:04 No.23691744 >be me, closeted straight ftm >in middle/high school in the 2000s >am around 10lb overweight >Juno comes out >I look sort of like Ellen Page >get called "fat Juno" for the rest of 66 KB JPG school >much time passes >transition >move states, keep no one from old life >still 10lb overweight but lower body fat >stealth >Elliot Page comes out >coworkers talking about it >"ha, they look kind of like anon now" >no >please no 7... >am now "big Elliot"

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Anon gets trolled by the maintenance man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)14:59:17 No.871378087 >maintenance guy for apartment goes into my place while l'm at work >installing new fire alarm >go home, see alarm >it's one of those alarms that beeps 217 KB PNG all the time >dumbass installed it directly above my toaster >mfw
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)14:59:17 No.871378087 >maintenance guy for apartment goes into my place while l'm at work >installing new fire alarm >go home, see alarm >it's one of those alarms that beeps 217 KB PNG all the time >dumbass installed it directly above my toaster >mfw

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Going to Brazil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous O 01/25/22(Tue)09:03:27 No.158661656 Some idiot just brought some s--- NFT I made Do people buy NFTS in your country? 7 KB JPG : Anonymous I3 01/25/22(Tue)09:04:17 No.158661697 >>158661656 (OP) # Did you take a picture of yourself and sell it as one of those monkey NFTS? >>158661764 # >>158661805 # >>158661896 # >>158662244 # >>158662285 # >>158662357 # >>158662407 # >>158662499 # >>158662650 #
: Anonymous O 01/25/22(Tue)09:03:27 No.158661656 Some idiot just brought some s--- NFT I made Do people buy NFTS in your country? 7 KB JPG : Anonymous I3 01/25/22(Tue)09:04:17 No.158661697 >>158661656 (OP) # Did you take a picture of yourself and sell it as one of those monkey NFTS? >>158661764 # >>158661805 # >>158661896 # >>158662244 # >>158662285 # >>158662357 # >>158662407 # >>158662499 # >>158662650 #

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Anons amazing dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)06:51:31 No.586428691 >>586428424 # >sadako-like ghost showed up in my dream >try to r--- her >wake up >never have ghost shows up in my dream again 304 KB PNG >>586429004 # >>586429201 # >>586431523 # >>586432276 #
: Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)06:51:31 No.586428691 >>586428424 # >sadako-like ghost showed up in my dream >try to r--- her >wake up >never have ghost shows up in my dream again 304 KB PNG >>586429004 # >>586429201 # >>586431523 # >>586432276 #

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Anon plays roblox | /r/Greentext

File: 09d jpg (15 KB, 400x400) O Anonymous (ID: TADg/d01) II >take meth >play roblox for 2 days non stop 10/10, will once again
File: 09d jpg (15 KB, 400x400) O Anonymous (ID: TADg/d01) II >take meth >play roblox for 2 days non stop 10/10, will once again

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Anon hates fat people | /r/Greentext

Not Secure - boards.4channel.org Board fit/ - Fitness Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 10/18/19(Fri)22:47:15 No.52828256 Fat people story >On an airplane to Asia >Sitting in my seat when I see this 400 pound sack of s--- trying to sit between two Japanese cuties >Squeezes into his seat and immediately asks for a soda >That plane hasn't even took off yet, you fat c--- >With morbid curiosity I watch him intently, as he eats numerous meals, double snacks, three mini cartons of mochi ice cream >Disgust, unending >Watch as he gets up to try and fit in the airplane toilet >Fits, barely >Comes back to the disgust of the Japanese girls and the stewardess >ls a smelly, disgusting pain in the ass the entire trip >By this point this f------ f------ existence is pissing me off >Can't stand it anymore, so when the plane lands I catch that f----- in the bathroom in Asia >Look him dead in the eyes and tell him how f------ much I hate him and how he needs to change his ways so he doesn't die a fat ugly corpse >I punch him, hoping to drive the point home >The mirror spiderwebs, and I cut my hand I've lost 250 pounds since then, down from 440 to 190. I'm still in Asia, but now that l'm normal i think I'll come home. >>52828438 # >>52828457 # >>52828485 # >>52828555 # >>52828948 # >>52829627 # >>52829663 # >>52829999 # >>52832150 # >>52833538 # >>52834095 # >>52834248 # >>52834277 # >>52835765 # >>52835832 #
Not Secure - boards.4channel.org Board fit/ - Fitness Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 10/18/19(Fri)22:47:15 No.52828256 Fat people story >On an airplane to Asia >Sitting in my seat when I see this 400 pound sack of s--- trying to sit between two Japanese cuties >Squeezes into his seat and immediately asks for a soda >That plane hasn't even took off yet, you fat c--- >With morbid curiosity I watch him intently, as he eats numerous meals, double snacks, three mini cartons of mochi ice cream >Disgust, unending >Watch as he gets up to try and fit in the airplane toilet >Fits, barely >Comes back to the disgust of the Japanese girls and the stewardess >ls a smelly, disgusting pain in the ass the entire trip >By this point this f------ f------ existence is pissing me off >Can't stand it anymore, so when the plane lands I catch that f----- in the bathroom in Asia >Look him dead in the eyes and tell him how f------ much I hate him and how he needs to change his ways so he doesn't die a fat ugly corpse >I punch him, hoping to drive the point home >The mirror spiderwebs, and I cut my hand I've lost 250 pounds since then, down from 440 to 190. I'm still in Asia, but now that l'm normal i think I'll come home. >>52828438 # >>52828457 # >>52828485 # >>52828555 # >>52828948 # >>52829627 # >>52829663 # >>52829999 # >>52832150 # >>52833538 # >>52834095 # >>52834248 # >>52834277 # >>52835765 # >>52835832 #

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based on a true(?) story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)12:34:58 No.128453757 >be me >be minority >have lil sister I love >want to protect her from bad hood >get in a fight with crime boss who pushes drugs >lose >get arrested by corrupt cop >get locked up for 7 years >everyday i miss my sister >hope she doing alright >god i miss her >7 years later >finally get out >boyicantwaittoseemysister.jpg >mfw my sister works for the crime boss >mfw she has PTSD from the death of some ganger friends >mfw she fell in the cycle of violence i was tryin to protect her from >mfw she blames me for not being there >jesusfuckingchrist.png > > >be Vi from Arcane >pic unrelated
Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)12:34:58 No.128453757 >be me >be minority >have lil sister I love >want to protect her from bad hood >get in a fight with crime boss who pushes drugs >lose >get arrested by corrupt cop >get locked up for 7 years >everyday i miss my sister >hope she doing alright >god i miss her >7 years later >finally get out >boyicantwaittoseemysister.jpg >mfw my sister works for the crime boss >mfw she has PTSD from the death of some ganger friends >mfw she fell in the cycle of violence i was tryin to protect her from >mfw she blames me for not being there >jesusfuckingchrist.png > > >be Vi from Arcane >pic unrelated

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Anon is terrified by alphaness of college student | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)02:45:58 No.871401082 >go to public restroom to change >wore too many layers while biking to class so l'm sweaty >two guys enter >one of them says something about hating public restrooms then enters a stall 141 KB PNG >proceeds to let out a fat BRAAAP >l can hear his multiple logs hitting the water >he didn't hold back, he just let everything out in one go >hear him groan "Kachaow" >he proceeds to keep groaning in pain while letting out more logs >l am frozen with fear and don't make a sound, just wait for him to leave so this is what community college is like?
: Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)02:45:58 No.871401082 >go to public restroom to change >wore too many layers while biking to class so l'm sweaty >two guys enter >one of them says something about hating public restrooms then enters a stall 141 KB PNG >proceeds to let out a fat BRAAAP >l can hear his multiple logs hitting the water >he didn't hold back, he just let everything out in one go >hear him groan "Kachaow" >he proceeds to keep groaning in pain while letting out more logs >l am frozen with fear and don't make a sound, just wait for him to leave so this is what community college is like?

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Anon is literally the Joker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:19:12 No.871389616 Itt; times you were literally the Joker >Be me at Walmart >Bump into a shelf and knock over juice >Dont tell an employee and just leave DAMAGED 332 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:20:33 No.871389704 >>871389616 (OP)# >be me >be at walmart >see a sign >sign says "Wet Floor - walk with caution" >proceed to NOT WALK WITH CAUTION DEEEVVVILLLIISSSSHHH!!! : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:20:51 No.871389716 >>871389616 (OP) # Are you 12 years old yet? F------ moron.
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:19:12 No.871389616 Itt; times you were literally the Joker >Be me at Walmart >Bump into a shelf and knock over juice >Dont tell an employee and just leave DAMAGED 332 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:20:33 No.871389704 >>871389616 (OP)# >be me >be at walmart >see a sign >sign says "Wet Floor - walk with caution" >proceed to NOT WALK WITH CAUTION DEEEVVVILLLIISSSSHHH!!! : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)16:20:51 No.871389716 >>871389616 (OP) # Are you 12 years old yet? F------ moron.

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Anon Provokes a gang war over horse waifus | /r/Greentext

>Be me R18 Mexican Hentai Artist >See Unamusume >Damnhorsegirlsarecute.jpeg >Proceed to draw R18 of teenage horse girls >Post it on PIXIV >Notice that my art seems popular with the Japanese user base since they 40 KB JPG comment the most >Out of curiousity Google translate some of them >find out about the whole Yakuza not wanting you to draw teenage horse tiddy of horse girls >laugh as I live in Mexico and the yakuza can't do s--- to me >Very next day Hired Yakuza hackers proceed to hack the laptop I use and delete my PIXIV account along with my entire hard drive >Older Brother who actually owns the laptop is livid because he is part of a cartel and his hard drive contained important information for the cartel >older brother tells fellow cartel members what happened >Think it's an unprovoked attack by the Yakuza >they proceed to track down Yakuza Hackers in Japan and send hitmen to take them out >Hitmen succeed >Yakuza are livid because to them this was an unprovoked attack by the cartels >Gang War Imminent between 2 criminal organizations across oceans >Mfw me drawing teenage horse tiddy sparked a gang war
>Be me R18 Mexican Hentai Artist >See Unamusume >Damnhorsegirlsarecute.jpeg >Proceed to draw R18 of teenage horse girls >Post it on PIXIV >Notice that my art seems popular with the Japanese user base since they 40 KB JPG comment the most >Out of curiousity Google translate some of them >find out about the whole Yakuza not wanting you to draw teenage horse tiddy of horse girls >laugh as I live in Mexico and the yakuza can't do s--- to me >Very next day Hired Yakuza hackers proceed to hack the laptop I use and delete my PIXIV account along with my entire hard drive >Older Brother who actually owns the laptop is livid because he is part of a cartel and his hard drive contained important information for the cartel >older brother tells fellow cartel members what happened >Think it's an unprovoked attack by the Yakuza >they proceed to track down Yakuza Hackers in Japan and send hitmen to take them out >Hitmen succeed >Yakuza are livid because to them this was an unprovoked attack by the cartels >Gang War Imminent between 2 criminal organizations across oceans >Mfw me drawing teenage horse tiddy sparked a gang war

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Anon makes a realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:43:56 No.871014497 I am starting to have the suspicion that there is a lot of pedophiles here. 72 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:43:56 No.871014497 I am starting to have the suspicion that there is a lot of pedophiles here. 72 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon being social retard in college | /r/Greentext

>be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs 48 KB JPG >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand
>be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs 48 KB JPG >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand

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Anon debates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:17:45 No.871375922 >>871352659 (OP) # You get called racist so many times for minor or imagined issues that it no longer registers when you get called racist for actual racism. : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:22:48 No.871376185 >College >Speech 101 >Have to debate another student regarding the effects of gentrification >Excited for the assignment and develop a well prepared essay >Debating against Tyrone >"Gentrification is racist as s---, kickin people out of their homes." >Start picking apart his points >"Yo, f--- you, racist." >Teacher calls for order >Ask him to not sink to ad homonym attacks >"You's a h----nym. AYYY" >Class chimps out >Teacher ends the class early >Asks me to stay after >Offers me a 95 passing grade if I agree to not come back to class >>871376387 # >>871376443 #
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:17:45 No.871375922 >>871352659 (OP) # You get called racist so many times for minor or imagined issues that it no longer registers when you get called racist for actual racism. : Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)10:22:48 No.871376185 >College >Speech 101 >Have to debate another student regarding the effects of gentrification >Excited for the assignment and develop a well prepared essay >Debating against Tyrone >"Gentrification is racist as s---, kickin people out of their homes." >Start picking apart his points >"Yo, f--- you, racist." >Teacher calls for order >Ask him to not sink to ad homonym attacks >"You's a h----nym. AYYY" >Class chimps out >Teacher ends the class early >Asks me to stay after >Offers me a 95 passing grade if I agree to not come back to class >>871376387 # >>871376443 #

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You don't have to act like everything is okay if it isn't. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)11:02:27 No.7496833 > Be me > Spent all free time with gf for years > Lost long term gf and subsequently best friend > Realize that I have no other friends > Leaving Uni class when 'cool' social circle says "sup anon" 19 KB JPG >I stop and make small talk > Don't want to f--- up > Ask how my winter break was, and how gf is. > Say that its not a thing anymore > trying-not-to-cry-in-public.jpg| > Group goes quiet > "Hey Anon we are going to the pub join us" > w-- really? "Sure" > All get drinks, ask me how l'm feeling, and lets me vent > Feelsgood.gif > All super understanding dudes, I had no idea >I can now laugh about the situation > They learn I'm a music guy > Some of them are great musicians too > We set up a metal band > 2019 is going to be a lot different. And I like it.
: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)11:02:27 No.7496833 > Be me > Spent all free time with gf for years > Lost long term gf and subsequently best friend > Realize that I have no other friends > Leaving Uni class when 'cool' social circle says "sup anon" 19 KB JPG >I stop and make small talk > Don't want to f--- up > Ask how my winter break was, and how gf is. > Say that its not a thing anymore > trying-not-to-cry-in-public.jpg| > Group goes quiet > "Hey Anon we are going to the pub join us" > w-- really? "Sure" > All get drinks, ask me how l'm feeling, and lets me vent > Feelsgood.gif > All super understanding dudes, I had no idea >I can now laugh about the situation > They learn I'm a music guy > Some of them are great musicians too > We set up a metal band > 2019 is going to be a lot different. And I like it.

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