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Idk if this has been posted before but its good | /r/Greentext

39% 8:47 PM /b/ /b/ BOARDS /B/ 716313601 716320298 Anonymous | 716321829 1 hr. ago >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, l'll take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life. 5 REPLIES
39% 8:47 PM /b/ /b/ BOARDS /B/ 716313601 716320298 Anonymous | 716321829 1 hr. ago >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, l'll take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life. 5 REPLIES

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Anon likes hot chocolate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/15/18(Thu)15:36:06 No.49300363 > be me > snowing > walk home > make hot chocolate > its good thank you hot chocolate 302 KB PNG 20 Replies / 8 Images View Thread
Anonymous 11/15/18(Thu)15:36:06 No.49300363 > be me > snowing > walk home > make hot chocolate > its good thank you hot chocolate 302 KB PNG 20 Replies / 8 Images View Thread

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Anon remembers his grandfather. | /r/Greentext

File: 1650238.jpg (100 KB, 928x768) Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)22:24:12 No.48973729 >be me >15 at the time >grandfather dies >depression. wav >l was so upset I spent the entire week in bed, only coming out for snacks and drinks >mom walks in my room >"Anon, are you okay?" >My grandfather just died and I've been in bed the entire week, of course I'm not okay you f------ t--- >she walks out and comes back in with a desktop computer >"This was your grandfather's computer. Knowing how close you two were, I figured he'd want you to have it." >l plug in the computer and turn it on >WindowsXPstartup.wmv >open up the pictures folder, find a bunch of pictures in a folder that were absurdly photoshopped to humorous effect, some with captions >míw my grandfather was a memer just like me >mfw memes basically run in my family I sill miss you.
File: 1650238.jpg (100 KB, 928x768) Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)22:24:12 No.48973729 >be me >15 at the time >grandfather dies >depression. wav >l was so upset I spent the entire week in bed, only coming out for snacks and drinks >mom walks in my room >"Anon, are you okay?" >My grandfather just died and I've been in bed the entire week, of course I'm not okay you f------ t--- >she walks out and comes back in with a desktop computer >"This was your grandfather's computer. Knowing how close you two were, I figured he'd want you to have it." >l plug in the computer and turn it on >WindowsXPstartup.wmv >open up the pictures folder, find a bunch of pictures in a folder that were absurdly photoshopped to humorous effect, some with captions >míw my grandfather was a memer just like me >mfw memes basically run in my family I sill miss you.

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Anon doesn't understand halloween | /r/Greentext

>doorbell rings >its a young girl >shes barefoot >she's just staring at me in silence >"what? what do you want?" >she walks away 42 KB PNG What the F--- was that about. Should I be worried? 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 10/09/18(Tue)10:28:53 No.48595087 >"what? what do you want?" why would you say that to a poor clearly abused little girl, have you no heart? 34 KB JPG >>48595095 # : Anonymous 10/09/18(Tue)10:29:39 No.48595095 >>48595087 # Right? Should have grabbed her and show her what real abuse look like, the f------ crybaby.
>doorbell rings >its a young girl >shes barefoot >she's just staring at me in silence >"what? what do you want?" >she walks away 42 KB PNG What the F--- was that about. Should I be worried? 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 10/09/18(Tue)10:28:53 No.48595087 >"what? what do you want?" why would you say that to a poor clearly abused little girl, have you no heart? 34 KB JPG >>48595095 # : Anonymous 10/09/18(Tue)10:29:39 No.48595095 >>48595087 # Right? Should have grabbed her and show her what real abuse look like, the f------ crybaby.

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Anon hast to drive to work | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)15:59:07 No.67181033 >work full time (8hrs per day) >commute is 1hr x2 >10hrs total >plus going to the supermarket every other day 1.85 MB PNG >move closer to work >work full time >commute is now 10-15mins >supermarket way closer now >quality of life increases, even doubles >move to different city >work is in a really nice area, so i can't afford to live nearby IM CRYING...
: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)15:59:07 No.67181033 >work full time (8hrs per day) >commute is 1hr x2 >10hrs total >plus going to the supermarket every other day 1.85 MB PNG >move closer to work >work full time >commute is now 10-15mins >supermarket way closer now >quality of life increases, even doubles >move to different city >work is in a really nice area, so i can't afford to live nearby IM CRYING...

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anon is a liar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Help AnOns 06/24/19(Mon)14:33:56 No.53056693 >be me >chad face manlet >meet a girl on vidya >she really likes me >we start edating >find out we live close >she asks how tall I am I say 5'8 44 KB JPG >she is 5'6 I'm actually 5'5 and she is coming over today what the f--- do I do HELP ANONS : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)14:34:58 No.53056699 Ok listen to me. You have dyslexia and misread your height on the ruler >>53056712 # >>53057080 #
: Anonymous Help AnOns 06/24/19(Mon)14:33:56 No.53056693 >be me >chad face manlet >meet a girl on vidya >she really likes me >we start edating >find out we live close >she asks how tall I am I say 5'8 44 KB JPG >she is 5'6 I'm actually 5'5 and she is coming over today what the f--- do I do HELP ANONS : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)14:34:58 No.53056699 Ok listen to me. You have dyslexia and misread your height on the ruler >>53056712 # >>53057080 #

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Anon doesn't like church girls | /r/Greentext

File: 86E73B33-8D26-4945-A25F-4(...).jpg (429 KB, 1000x1333) O Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)08:43:42 No.871503535 [Reply] >>871503583 >2022 >not having an honorable, demure, Christian tradwife >who retained her virginity until mariage >who obeys, cherishes, and worships you >who maintains your home so it is always organized, clean, and beautiful >who bears and raises your children with love, intelligence, and care >who values and the embraces her femininity and her traditional role >who cooks and bakes like a gourmet >who submits to you sexually and strives to please you whenever and however you command >who would never even consider leaving you or cheating on you, as that is against the commandments >who wears feminine but respectable clothing and makeup/hair >who is happy to leave important matters for you to decide >who spends her life honoring and serving you, God, and her family to the best of her ability what are you waiting for, anon? + 1 reply omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)08:45:05 No.871503583 >>871503535 (OP). Every "church girl" I know is a mega-slut.
File: 86E73B33-8D26-4945-A25F-4(...).jpg (429 KB, 1000x1333) O Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)08:43:42 No.871503535 [Reply] >>871503583 >2022 >not having an honorable, demure, Christian tradwife >who retained her virginity until mariage >who obeys, cherishes, and worships you >who maintains your home so it is always organized, clean, and beautiful >who bears and raises your children with love, intelligence, and care >who values and the embraces her femininity and her traditional role >who cooks and bakes like a gourmet >who submits to you sexually and strives to please you whenever and however you command >who would never even consider leaving you or cheating on you, as that is against the commandments >who wears feminine but respectable clothing and makeup/hair >who is happy to leave important matters for you to decide >who spends her life honoring and serving you, God, and her family to the best of her ability what are you waiting for, anon? + 1 reply omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)08:45:05 No.871503583 >>871503535 (OP). Every "church girl" I know is a mega-slut.

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Anon becomes chadgar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/17(Wed)11:26:04 No.754399201 >Be me >weakest man in tribe >se Chadgar sexing all womans im he cave >get mind idea >pick up big rock >throw at Chadgar head 317 KB PNG >he fall >laugh >sex all his womans >am now Chadgar >me face when
: Anonymous 12/20/17(Wed)11:26:04 No.754399201 >Be me >weakest man in tribe >se Chadgar sexing all womans im he cave >get mind idea >pick up big rock >throw at Chadgar head 317 KB PNG >he fall >laugh >sex all his womans >am now Chadgar >me face when

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Anon is from the land down under | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: SvtK8oi9 02/16/16(Tue)09:50:41 No.64291831 >live in Australia >someone tries to rob my house >notice his ground-harness is a bit rusty on the left hinge >throw boomerang at it >it breaks >laugh as he falls into the sun
Anonymous (ID: SvtK8oi9 02/16/16(Tue)09:50:41 No.64291831 >live in Australia >someone tries to rob my house >notice his ground-harness is a bit rusty on the left hinge >throw boomerang at it >it breaks >laugh as he falls into the sun

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Anon has a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

> be on date with my girlfriend |> she's foreign > took a flight down here for winter 8 KB JPG > we're hanging out in the park > she has a wierd twitter addiction > won't stop tweeting > ask her to stop and have a normal conversation > she looks me in the eyes and sends a tweet > get p----- off and scream at her > leave > feel bad about the breakup > buy a sandwich from Subway to make it up to her > eat fresh > get back to park > she's still there tweeting > call her name > toss pieces of toasted bread on the ground > she leans over and eats them > my girlfriend's a bird
> be on date with my girlfriend |> she's foreign > took a flight down here for winter 8 KB JPG > we're hanging out in the park > she has a wierd twitter addiction > won't stop tweeting > ask her to stop and have a normal conversation > she looks me in the eyes and sends a tweet > get p----- off and scream at her > leave > feel bad about the breakup > buy a sandwich from Subway to make it up to her > eat fresh > get back to park > she's still there tweeting > call her name > toss pieces of toasted bread on the ground > she leans over and eats them > my girlfriend's a bird

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Anon always has date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)12:30:37 No.792364230 >be me >total Chad >girls always checking me out >have a date pretty much every day >constantly getting new ink 605 KB JPG >only stay with a girl for a year at most before moving on >be a calendar >pic unrelated View Thread
: Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)12:30:37 No.792364230 >be me >total Chad >girls always checking me out >have a date pretty much every day >constantly getting new ink 605 KB JPG >only stay with a girl for a year at most before moving on >be a calendar >pic unrelated View Thread

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Anon debunks ludicrous theories | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)20:50:35 No.869588879 FoodTank agriculturesubsidiesworldbankreport.jpg 245 KB JPG >put food in the dirt >much more food comes out You expect me to believe this b-------?? : Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)20:55:41 No.869589196 >>869588879 (OP) # >build triangle out of metal >it doesn't sink B------- COAT A 103 KB JPG :Anonymous 12/29/21 (Wed)20:57:35 No.869589312 >build a giant metal bird >wings don't even flap They didn't even try and make it believable 379 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)20:50:35 No.869588879 FoodTank agriculturesubsidiesworldbankreport.jpg 245 KB JPG >put food in the dirt >much more food comes out You expect me to believe this b-------?? : Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)20:55:41 No.869589196 >>869588879 (OP) # >build triangle out of metal >it doesn't sink B------- COAT A 103 KB JPG :Anonymous 12/29/21 (Wed)20:57:35 No.869589312 >build a giant metal bird >wings don't even flap They didn't even try and make it believable 379 KB JPG

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Anon gives good advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)01:18:14 No.871526239 What do if I'm starting to confuse platonic feelings for romantic feelings again? i asked her out once before and she said no, later after she broke up with her bf, we where driving to McDonalds while i was high she started unloading a load of s--- 222 KB PNG including how she only said no to me because she had just started dating him and things would be way different now. like a week ago we've started to get closer again and she says how close we are and how she "will always be here for you. Forever." but she's also said she wouldn't date me but she would f--- me. I'm so confused please help : Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)01:26:11 No.871526588 bass.jpg 60 KB JPG >>871526239 (OP) # From her perspective, this is you.
: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)01:18:14 No.871526239 What do if I'm starting to confuse platonic feelings for romantic feelings again? i asked her out once before and she said no, later after she broke up with her bf, we where driving to McDonalds while i was high she started unloading a load of s--- 222 KB PNG including how she only said no to me because she had just started dating him and things would be way different now. like a week ago we've started to get closer again and she says how close we are and how she "will always be here for you. Forever." but she's also said she wouldn't date me but she would f--- me. I'm so confused please help : Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)01:26:11 No.871526588 bass.jpg 60 KB JPG >>871526239 (OP) # From her perspective, this is you.

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what the fuck did I just read | /r/Greentext

08/20/18(Mon)21:11:58 No.777722821 >Be me >Be 15 years old >Have older brother around same age >Both be kissless virgins >Share a room 71 KB JPG >Horny as f---, tons of hormones >Have a gentlemen's agreement that we will just ignore each other when we masturbate (usually with the lights off late at night) >Occasionally talk about what we think of, girls in our classes for instance >One day he tells me he is imagining what it is like to get a b------ >Tell him I don't know either >Can't remember who suggested it first but we agreed to give each other b------- as long as we never talk about it >The person receiving has to close their eyes and imagine it's a girl >I blew him first and thoughtI would never want to do it again until I felt him blow me >Continues like this every day for the rest of the week >Decide to 69 for the sake of efficiency >Turn it into a game, whoever c--- first wins, loser gets blueballed >Continues on for about a year, during which we learn to d--------- and swallow c--, the competition has escalated into basically facefucking each other to try and c-- first >He gets a girlfriend and without a word our activities stop >Never speak of it again >Am now 19 and sometimes imagine my GF facefucking me Am I gay? : Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)21:14:38 No.777723073 what the f--- did i just read
08/20/18(Mon)21:11:58 No.777722821 >Be me >Be 15 years old >Have older brother around same age >Both be kissless virgins >Share a room 71 KB JPG >Horny as f---, tons of hormones >Have a gentlemen's agreement that we will just ignore each other when we masturbate (usually with the lights off late at night) >Occasionally talk about what we think of, girls in our classes for instance >One day he tells me he is imagining what it is like to get a b------ >Tell him I don't know either >Can't remember who suggested it first but we agreed to give each other b------- as long as we never talk about it >The person receiving has to close their eyes and imagine it's a girl >I blew him first and thoughtI would never want to do it again until I felt him blow me >Continues like this every day for the rest of the week >Decide to 69 for the sake of efficiency >Turn it into a game, whoever c--- first wins, loser gets blueballed >Continues on for about a year, during which we learn to d--------- and swallow c--, the competition has escalated into basically facefucking each other to try and c-- first >He gets a girlfriend and without a word our activities stop >Never speak of it again >Am now 19 and sometimes imagine my GF facefucking me Am I gay? : Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)21:14:38 No.777723073 what the f--- did i just read

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Anon has a child | /r/Greentext

File: 3fb85ce1580af24d83f6bde17301e0fe85e(.), png (204 KB, 1063x1063) Parents of /r9k/ Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)11:30:47 No. 48770954 [Reply] >>48771097 >48771290 >48771357 >48772582 M8772649 >be 19 yr old kv suicidal depressed neet >live with parents >unmarried sister gets preggers because of her bf and doesn't want the kid, but doesn't want to abort either >kid is born, beautiful boy >she abandons him at parents home to pursue her dead end ""acting career" >parents, and i basically take care of him >love him like my own son, he calls me papa >son grows up fine, i get warehouse job to have more money to make him happier >start jogging in the morning to have enough stamina to play with him >son is great at academics, gets As >start getting along better with my own parents since we're taking care of my son together >work harder and get promoted, more money to buy son toys >experience first hand what raising a child is like, love him >now am 36 yrs old kv with a managerial job at a shipping company >son has gone to univ this year >parents and i are very lonely with nothing to do all day >wait for son's call in the back of our heads all the time >sister is still struggling with her "acting career"" (son calls her auntie Imao) >son is coming home for christmas >can't decide what to do to celebrate his first year at college >almost know for certain that if son hadn't been born, i would've probably jumped off a building to end my pathetic life Any other parents here?
File: 3fb85ce1580af24d83f6bde17301e0fe85e(.), png (204 KB, 1063x1063) Parents of /r9k/ Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)11:30:47 No. 48770954 [Reply] >>48771097 >48771290 >48771357 >48772582 M8772649 >be 19 yr old kv suicidal depressed neet >live with parents >unmarried sister gets preggers because of her bf and doesn't want the kid, but doesn't want to abort either >kid is born, beautiful boy >she abandons him at parents home to pursue her dead end ""acting career" >parents, and i basically take care of him >love him like my own son, he calls me papa >son grows up fine, i get warehouse job to have more money to make him happier >start jogging in the morning to have enough stamina to play with him >son is great at academics, gets As >start getting along better with my own parents since we're taking care of my son together >work harder and get promoted, more money to buy son toys >experience first hand what raising a child is like, love him >now am 36 yrs old kv with a managerial job at a shipping company >son has gone to univ this year >parents and i are very lonely with nothing to do all day >wait for son's call in the back of our heads all the time >sister is still struggling with her "acting career"" (son calls her auntie Imao) >son is coming home for christmas >can't decide what to do to celebrate his first year at college >almost know for certain that if son hadn't been born, i would've probably jumped off a building to end my pathetic life Any other parents here?

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Anon writes a biographical critique on Nietzsche. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)21:05:44 No.19817256 >got deja vu once >writes an entire philosophy around it what was his problem? 514 KB JPG 77 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/26/22(Wed)21:05:44 No.19817256 >got deja vu once >writes an entire philosophy around it what was his problem? 514 KB JPG 77 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon’s First Prostate Exam | /r/Greentext


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Hmmmmmmmmm | /r/Greentext

File: 1643318423178.jpg (184 KB, 2229x1723) Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)02:05:23 No.871522604 >Be me >Can lift over 80 pounds >Tired of picking up dog s--- >Start subreddit for not wanting to work >Infiltrated by a bunch of redditors who don't follow my cause only want better working conditions >6 years go by as I watch my subreddit become a shadow of its former self >Subreddit becomes popular >Fox News want to interview mods >The community and mods are against it >I still stand for what I believe in and what the subreddit was originally created for >Decide f--- everyone I'm doing this for my beliefs >Go ahead and do interview against everybody's wishes >Introduce my self to the world >Stand by my beliefs >After my interview reddit goes into panic mode >Millions of redditors are infuriated >Redditors now publicly humiliated en masse
File: 1643318423178.jpg (184 KB, 2229x1723) Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)02:05:23 No.871522604 >Be me >Can lift over 80 pounds >Tired of picking up dog s--- >Start subreddit for not wanting to work >Infiltrated by a bunch of redditors who don't follow my cause only want better working conditions >6 years go by as I watch my subreddit become a shadow of its former self >Subreddit becomes popular >Fox News want to interview mods >The community and mods are against it >I still stand for what I believe in and what the subreddit was originally created for >Decide f--- everyone I'm doing this for my beliefs >Go ahead and do interview against everybody's wishes >Introduce my self to the world >Stand by my beliefs >After my interview reddit goes into panic mode >Millions of redditors are infuriated >Redditors now publicly humiliated en masse

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Anon is a depressed shut in but his little sister still loves him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)16:20:39 No.6717269 >tfw little sister wants to hang out with you all the time >tfw you're a depressed, NEET shut-in that just wants to be left alone >tfw you can see she genuinely loves you 75 KB JPG >tfw she always makes time for you no matter what >tfw she smiles even if you tell her to go away >tfw she just sits on your bed even if you don't talk to her just so she can be near you >tfw she always tells you about her day >tfw she loves you >tfw she loves you >tfw she loves you >tfw too far gone to show her how much she means to you in return >tfw it doesn't matter to her, she loves you for who you are I'm f------ crying, /r9k/. She was in my room for three hours just reading and telling me about stuff. I can still feel her hand on my shoulder where she squeezed it before she went to bed. I can't handle these feels anymore, /r9k/. I just want to do good by her.
: Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)16:20:39 No.6717269 >tfw little sister wants to hang out with you all the time >tfw you're a depressed, NEET shut-in that just wants to be left alone >tfw you can see she genuinely loves you 75 KB JPG >tfw she always makes time for you no matter what >tfw she smiles even if you tell her to go away >tfw she just sits on your bed even if you don't talk to her just so she can be near you >tfw she always tells you about her day >tfw she loves you >tfw she loves you >tfw she loves you >tfw too far gone to show her how much she means to you in return >tfw it doesn't matter to her, she loves you for who you are I'm f------ crying, /r9k/. She was in my room for three hours just reading and telling me about stuff. I can still feel her hand on my shoulder where she squeezed it before she went to bed. I can't handle these feels anymore, /r9k/. I just want to do good by her.

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The cycle continues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)08:47:19 No.67171228 205 1468688400036.jpg 235 KB JPG >1st of the month >receive neetbux >spend 2 week drinking >run out of money >scrape by for the rest of the month >start to feel pretty good after 2 weeks of sobriety >"hey, maybe l'll turn things around this time" >a new beginning >1st of the month >9am at the liquor store
: Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)08:47:19 No.67171228 205 1468688400036.jpg 235 KB JPG >1st of the month >receive neetbux >spend 2 week drinking >run out of money >scrape by for the rest of the month >start to feel pretty good after 2 weeks of sobriety >"hey, maybe l'll turn things around this time" >a new beginning >1st of the month >9am at the liquor store

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