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Perfect way to go | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 >rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit
Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 >rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit

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I’ve got them footage | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)18:50:48 No.848679285 >Be me >Poor af >Have wife and 2 children >Wife is sick >No money to get my children education >Have trouble finding jobs >Get dangerous job with a high chance if injury or death 58 KB JPG >Pays well so why not >ffw 1 week >Start operating machine >Get caught inside machine >Struggle for a bit >Machine activates and violently murders me >Limbs flying, blood everywhere >Horribly mangled and mutilated >Security footage gets released >Some redditfag records footage and puts some song over it for internet points >mfw
: Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)18:50:48 No.848679285 >Be me >Poor af >Have wife and 2 children >Wife is sick >No money to get my children education >Have trouble finding jobs >Get dangerous job with a high chance if injury or death 58 KB JPG >Pays well so why not >ffw 1 week >Start operating machine >Get caught inside machine >Struggle for a bit >Machine activates and violently murders me >Limbs flying, blood everywhere >Horribly mangled and mutilated >Security footage gets released >Some redditfag records footage and puts some song over it for internet points >mfw

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Anon upgrades thier computer. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)00:41:58 No.871616217 >>871616352 >>871616361 >buy 2tb ssd >plug it in >'1861.85gb avaliable Where the f--- did my other 138.15gb's go?
Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)00:41:58 No.871616217 >>871616352 >>871616361 >buy 2tb ssd >plug it in >'1861.85gb avaliable Where the f--- did my other 138.15gb's go?

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Well Played Anon | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/13/18(Tue)17:26:01 No.49260677 File: 456876545676.jpg (5 KB, 206x245) posted this some time ago >be me >actually had a female friend >texts me if she can come over >say yes >we chill, eat pizza and watch netflix and talk about stupid s--- and laugh all the time >getting late >she asks if can stay tonight >ok I guess >prepare the couch for her >15 mins after we go to sleep she crawls into the bed >rests her head against my shoulder and comes closer each minute >autsim kicks in >thinks SHE wants to sleep in the bed >get up and sleep on the couch we never talked again after this
O Anonymous 11/13/18(Tue)17:26:01 No.49260677 File: 456876545676.jpg (5 KB, 206x245) posted this some time ago >be me >actually had a female friend >texts me if she can come over >say yes >we chill, eat pizza and watch netflix and talk about stupid s--- and laugh all the time >getting late >she asks if can stay tonight >ok I guess >prepare the couch for her >15 mins after we go to sleep she crawls into the bed >rests her head against my shoulder and comes closer each minute >autsim kicks in >thinks SHE wants to sleep in the bed >get up and sleep on the couch we never talked again after this

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Anon is literate. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)23:06:41 No.784179328 >be me 2008 >read the entire warriors book series >go to school >school has a reward type thing for AR reader 204 KB PNG >answer questions about the warriors >get over 800 points >got a snickers bar and a handshake with the principle >fuckyes.png 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)23:12:44 No.784179659 >>784179328 (OP) # I got a gameboy color, suck it loser
: Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)23:06:41 No.784179328 >be me 2008 >read the entire warriors book series >go to school >school has a reward type thing for AR reader 204 KB PNG >answer questions about the warriors >get over 800 points >got a snickers bar and a handshake with the principle >fuckyes.png 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 11/05/18(Mon)23:12:44 No.784179659 >>784179328 (OP) # I got a gameboy color, suck it loser

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Can confirm it works. | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 05/21/17(Sun)14:36:47 No.733287790 >go on akinator >say yes when asked if your character is a p----star >answer in accordance to what you want your p----star to look like >akinator gives you a hand-picked p----star to fit your preferences akmatur 14 KB JPG >profit
| Anonymous 05/21/17(Sun)14:36:47 No.733287790 >go on akinator >say yes when asked if your character is a p----star >answer in accordance to what you want your p----star to look like >akinator gives you a hand-picked p----star to fit your preferences akmatur 14 KB JPG >profit

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Anon explains taxes | /r/Greentext

>income tax You worked and someone paid you. I'll need to take 30%-50% of that. >sales tax Oh you would like to spend some of the income we let you keep on. goods? I'll have to charge you an extra 5-10% for 58 KB JPG that. >property tax Oh you managed to save up enough money to get yourself a little property? Better than paying rent? Well you will need to fork over a couple thousand for the privilege. >capital gains Oh you invested in a 401k to avoid taxes? While we thank you for putting your money into our financial casino, we will unfortunately have to take 30% of your gains. >inheritance tax You lived a good life anon. You made it to the end. You worked hard and saved some money to give to your kids. Buuuuuut. We will need to take a piece of that too. For the good of society, ya know? RIP anon. At what point did you realize you were merely a tax slave for your government overlords?
>income tax You worked and someone paid you. I'll need to take 30%-50% of that. >sales tax Oh you would like to spend some of the income we let you keep on. goods? I'll have to charge you an extra 5-10% for 58 KB JPG that. >property tax Oh you managed to save up enough money to get yourself a little property? Better than paying rent? Well you will need to fork over a couple thousand for the privilege. >capital gains Oh you invested in a 401k to avoid taxes? While we thank you for putting your money into our financial casino, we will unfortunately have to take 30% of your gains. >inheritance tax You lived a good life anon. You made it to the end. You worked hard and saved some money to give to your kids. Buuuuuut. We will need to take a piece of that too. For the good of society, ya know? RIP anon. At what point did you realize you were merely a tax slave for your government overlords?

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Unlimited privilege | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)23:14:15 No.783690431 >black people replace whites as majority in america >blacks lose minority status >whites gain even more privilege through newfound minority protection God I love being white
: Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)23:14:15 No.783690431 >black people replace whites as majority in america >blacks lose minority status >whites gain even more privilege through newfound minority protection God I love being white

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Anon have a good night | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)09:52:33 No.782877833 Wagecuck stories >be me >work at a bar because poor f-- >sitting outside at the door >drunk guy walks by >stops guess l'll die 48 KB JPG >ohfuckherewego.exe >"hey man, you having a good night?" >"yea, I guess." >give me thumbs up >throws up >looks me in the eye >"Yea, well mine is way better than yours f-----." >mfw
: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)09:52:33 No.782877833 Wagecuck stories >be me >work at a bar because poor f-- >sitting outside at the door >drunk guy walks by >stops guess l'll die 48 KB JPG >ohfuckherewego.exe >"hey man, you having a good night?" >"yea, I guess." >give me thumbs up >throws up >looks me in the eye >"Yea, well mine is way better than yours f-----." >mfw

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Anon's meeting a girl | /r/Greentext

>be me >16 >school is doing exchange programme >apply and get picked to exchange with a student from norway >on application form ask for male student >all goes well until today i get email from organiser >"there has been a change of plans and we're informing you that a female student will be staying with you" >will have to talk and entertain this girl for a week >severely bad with females >may ruin my life completely i know it sounds like im overreacting boys, but im having a sever autism attack rn. help
>be me >16 >school is doing exchange programme >apply and get picked to exchange with a student from norway >on application form ask for male student >all goes well until today i get email from organiser >"there has been a change of plans and we're informing you that a female student will be staying with you" >will have to talk and entertain this girl for a week >severely bad with females >may ruin my life completely i know it sounds like im overreacting boys, but im having a sever autism attack rn. help

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anon is sus | /r/Greentext

>be me >walking down street >kid wearing a fortnite hoodie comes up to me on a scooter >literally just says "among us?" FORTNITE 97 KB JPG >refuses to elaborate >rides away pic related : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:14 No.67194111 >>67194097 (OP) # Sounds pretty sus op fr fr no cap : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:33 No.67194113 >>67194097 (OP) # >be me >riding scooter down street >see some f----- walking real sus fr fr nocap >say "amogus" >sussy stares blankly back >ride away
>be me >walking down street >kid wearing a fortnite hoodie comes up to me on a scooter >literally just says "among us?" FORTNITE 97 KB JPG >refuses to elaborate >rides away pic related : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:14 No.67194111 >>67194097 (OP) # Sounds pretty sus op fr fr no cap : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:33 No.67194113 >>67194097 (OP) # >be me >riding scooter down street >see some f----- walking real sus fr fr nocap >say "amogus" >sussy stares blankly back >ride away

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Let it go, let it go | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)21:05:35 No.62105627 >grow up with cold distant parents >never learn to show affection >have girls be nice to me and try to flirt >ignore them or be rude to them >get girlfriend >go to her house 45 KB JPG >her parents hug and talk >her siblings are social and kind to me >a whole different world >something I never had growing up
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)21:05:35 No.62105627 >grow up with cold distant parents >never learn to show affection >have girls be nice to me and try to flirt >ignore them or be rude to them >get girlfriend >go to her house 45 KB JPG >her parents hug and talk >her siblings are social and kind to me >a whole different world >something I never had growing up

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Anon loves his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/05/18(Fri)11:25:13 No.48517835 >just came home from college >finally weekend so I can sleep for once >little sisters writes me she has fever and is feeling 344 KB PNG unwell >about to take a 300km drive to look after her Do you have anyone or anything you would do everything for?
: Anonymous 10/05/18(Fri)11:25:13 No.48517835 >just came home from college >finally weekend so I can sleep for once >little sisters writes me she has fever and is feeling 344 KB PNG unwell >about to take a 300km drive to look after her Do you have anyone or anything you would do everything for?

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Anon learns to love history | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/19(Thu)13:22:26 No.793824259 True Story >Be me in middle school. >Around 10 or 11. >Assassin's Creed 2 comes out. >My favorite game growing up. >Always thought Ezio was the coolest since I was a social 165 KB JPG outcast that was bullied. >Wanted to be strong and cool like him. >Anyways, we're learning about European history in my history class. >My state holds an educational assessment for all students to take. >Playing Assassin's Creed and this game sparks my love for history. >Reading books, articles online, etc. >Just filling my head with all this info. >Day of the assessment and I'm breezing through it. >Month or two later and we get our results back. >Teacher tells the class, "Only one person got a perfect score on this test in the whole school." >Kids say, "Who? WHO?!" Teacher makes a long pause, looks at me, and says, "It's Anon." >Everybody in the class was shocked. >Where my love for history started. Thanks, Ezio.
: Anonymous 02/28/19(Thu)13:22:26 No.793824259 True Story >Be me in middle school. >Around 10 or 11. >Assassin's Creed 2 comes out. >My favorite game growing up. >Always thought Ezio was the coolest since I was a social 165 KB JPG outcast that was bullied. >Wanted to be strong and cool like him. >Anyways, we're learning about European history in my history class. >My state holds an educational assessment for all students to take. >Playing Assassin's Creed and this game sparks my love for history. >Reading books, articles online, etc. >Just filling my head with all this info. >Day of the assessment and I'm breezing through it. >Month or two later and we get our results back. >Teacher tells the class, "Only one person got a perfect score on this test in the whole school." >Kids say, "Who? WHO?!" Teacher makes a long pause, looks at me, and says, "It's Anon." >Everybody in the class was shocked. >Where my love for history started. Thanks, Ezio.

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anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?

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Anon is a scientist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)20:50:14 No.783503370 >mfw I just realized I've never seen a woman scratch her butt >do some research >they actually never do >mfw I just discovered a way to tell real women apart from traps >mfw I single handenly saved 5 KB JPG humanity When do I get my nobel prize? : Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)20:52:04 No.783503502 >>783503370 (OP) # >research Care to elaborate? >>783503685%23
: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)20:50:14 No.783503370 >mfw I just realized I've never seen a woman scratch her butt >do some research >they actually never do >mfw I just discovered a way to tell real women apart from traps >mfw I single handenly saved 5 KB JPG humanity When do I get my nobel prize? : Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)20:52:04 No.783503502 >>783503370 (OP) # >research Care to elaborate? >>783503685%23

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Anon knows math | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:48:25 No.514612342 >"PS4 has no game-" WRONG 846 KB JPG ! Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:49:43 No.514612510 >>514617537 # | Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:53:22 No.514612994 There are 119 games in that stack. The height of a standard ps4 game case is 14mm. Using basic math we can determine the man in the photo is only 5'4". 866 KB PNG 2>514615896 # >>514618429 # >514619653 #
Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:48:25 No.514612342 >"PS4 has no game-" WRONG 846 KB JPG ! Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:49:43 No.514612510 >>514617537 # | Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:53:22 No.514612994 There are 119 games in that stack. The height of a standard ps4 game case is 14mm. Using basic math we can determine the man in the photo is only 5'4". 866 KB PNG 2>514615896 # >>514618429 # >514619653 #

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this is so fucking sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:57:48 No.542988776 >dad watching me play vidya >woah anon how did you know how to do (insert incredibly obvious thing here) >repeat x100 are boomers literally f------ retarded? 47 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)00:05:52 No.542989510 stop being a f-----, your dad is trying to connect with you >>542990391 # >>542990521 # >>542990724 # >>542990810 # >>542991437 # >>542991550 # >>542991956 # >>542992068 # >>542992151 # >>542992412 # >>542992605 # >>542993739 # >>542994051 # >>542996095 # >>542997281 # >>542998590 # >>543000324 # >>543000453 # >>543000617 # >>543000746 # >>543000841 # >>543001083 # >>543001335 # >>543001389 # >>543004779 # >>543005792 # >>543006553 # >>543007247 # >>543007582 # >>543008745 # >>543008851 # >>543008910 # >>543010419 # >>543010828 # >>543010934 # >>543010961 # >>543011220 # >>543011526 # >>543012078 # >>543014701 # >>543015032 # >>543015721 # >>543015803 # >>543015917 # >>543019926 # >>543020443 # >>543022048 #
: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:57:48 No.542988776 >dad watching me play vidya >woah anon how did you know how to do (insert incredibly obvious thing here) >repeat x100 are boomers literally f------ retarded? 47 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)00:05:52 No.542989510 stop being a f-----, your dad is trying to connect with you >>542990391 # >>542990521 # >>542990724 # >>542990810 # >>542991437 # >>542991550 # >>542991956 # >>542992068 # >>542992151 # >>542992412 # >>542992605 # >>542993739 # >>542994051 # >>542996095 # >>542997281 # >>542998590 # >>543000324 # >>543000453 # >>543000617 # >>543000746 # >>543000841 # >>543001083 # >>543001335 # >>543001389 # >>543004779 # >>543005792 # >>543006553 # >>543007247 # >>543007582 # >>543008745 # >>543008851 # >>543008910 # >>543010419 # >>543010828 # >>543010934 # >>543010961 # >>543011220 # >>543011526 # >>543012078 # >>543014701 # >>543015032 # >>543015721 # >>543015803 # >>543015917 # >>543019926 # >>543020443 # >>543022048 #

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Anon is a zoologist. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous - 01/28/22(Fri)11:44:51 No.67186945 I found a possum. It appears that he has gone to sleep. 1.16 MB JPG : Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)11:46:00 No.67186952 >>67186945 (OP) # F--- It >>67186998 #
: Anonymous - 01/28/22(Fri)11:44:51 No.67186945 I found a possum. It appears that he has gone to sleep. 1.16 MB JPG : Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)11:46:00 No.67186952 >>67186945 (OP) # F--- It >>67186998 #

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Anon misses old 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Where my /r9k gone? 01/28/22(Fri)08:06:58 No.67182064 >be me >make thought-provoking blackpill thread >only get a few comments >get called an incel >thread archives quickly >also be me >make thread saying traps aren't gay 99 KB JPG >100+ comments >lots of discussion and opinions >thread lasts for more than a day >it wasn't always like this here
: Anonymous Where my /r9k gone? 01/28/22(Fri)08:06:58 No.67182064 >be me >make thought-provoking blackpill thread >only get a few comments >get called an incel >thread archives quickly >also be me >make thread saying traps aren't gay 99 KB JPG >100+ comments >lots of discussion and opinions >thread lasts for more than a day >it wasn't always like this here

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