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Anon's meeting a girl | /r/Greentext

>be me >16 >school is doing exchange programme >apply and get picked to exchange with a student from norway >on application form ask for male student >all goes well until today i get email from organiser >"there has been a change of plans and we're informing you that a female student will be staying with you" >will have to talk and entertain this girl for a week >severely bad with females >may ruin my life completely i know it sounds like im overreacting boys, but im having a sever autism attack rn. help
>be me >16 >school is doing exchange programme >apply and get picked to exchange with a student from norway >on application form ask for male student >all goes well until today i get email from organiser >"there has been a change of plans and we're informing you that a female student will be staying with you" >will have to talk and entertain this girl for a week >severely bad with females >may ruin my life completely i know it sounds like im overreacting boys, but im having a sever autism attack rn. help

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anon is sus | /r/Greentext

>be me >walking down street >kid wearing a fortnite hoodie comes up to me on a scooter >literally just says "among us?" FORTNITE 97 KB JPG >refuses to elaborate >rides away pic related : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:14 No.67194111 >>67194097 (OP) # Sounds pretty sus op fr fr no cap : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:33 No.67194113 >>67194097 (OP) # >be me >riding scooter down street >see some f----- walking real sus fr fr nocap >say "amogus" >sussy stares blankly back >ride away
>be me >walking down street >kid wearing a fortnite hoodie comes up to me on a scooter >literally just says "among us?" FORTNITE 97 KB JPG >refuses to elaborate >rides away pic related : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:14 No.67194111 >>67194097 (OP) # Sounds pretty sus op fr fr no cap : Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)15:24:33 No.67194113 >>67194097 (OP) # >be me >riding scooter down street >see some f----- walking real sus fr fr nocap >say "amogus" >sussy stares blankly back >ride away

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Let it go, let it go | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)21:05:35 No.62105627 >grow up with cold distant parents >never learn to show affection >have girls be nice to me and try to flirt >ignore them or be rude to them >get girlfriend >go to her house 45 KB JPG >her parents hug and talk >her siblings are social and kind to me >a whole different world >something I never had growing up
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)21:05:35 No.62105627 >grow up with cold distant parents >never learn to show affection >have girls be nice to me and try to flirt >ignore them or be rude to them >get girlfriend >go to her house 45 KB JPG >her parents hug and talk >her siblings are social and kind to me >a whole different world >something I never had growing up

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Anon loves his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/05/18(Fri)11:25:13 No.48517835 >just came home from college >finally weekend so I can sleep for once >little sisters writes me she has fever and is feeling 344 KB PNG unwell >about to take a 300km drive to look after her Do you have anyone or anything you would do everything for?
: Anonymous 10/05/18(Fri)11:25:13 No.48517835 >just came home from college >finally weekend so I can sleep for once >little sisters writes me she has fever and is feeling 344 KB PNG unwell >about to take a 300km drive to look after her Do you have anyone or anything you would do everything for?

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Anon learns to love history | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/19(Thu)13:22:26 No.793824259 True Story >Be me in middle school. >Around 10 or 11. >Assassin's Creed 2 comes out. >My favorite game growing up. >Always thought Ezio was the coolest since I was a social 165 KB JPG outcast that was bullied. >Wanted to be strong and cool like him. >Anyways, we're learning about European history in my history class. >My state holds an educational assessment for all students to take. >Playing Assassin's Creed and this game sparks my love for history. >Reading books, articles online, etc. >Just filling my head with all this info. >Day of the assessment and I'm breezing through it. >Month or two later and we get our results back. >Teacher tells the class, "Only one person got a perfect score on this test in the whole school." >Kids say, "Who? WHO?!" Teacher makes a long pause, looks at me, and says, "It's Anon." >Everybody in the class was shocked. >Where my love for history started. Thanks, Ezio.
: Anonymous 02/28/19(Thu)13:22:26 No.793824259 True Story >Be me in middle school. >Around 10 or 11. >Assassin's Creed 2 comes out. >My favorite game growing up. >Always thought Ezio was the coolest since I was a social 165 KB JPG outcast that was bullied. >Wanted to be strong and cool like him. >Anyways, we're learning about European history in my history class. >My state holds an educational assessment for all students to take. >Playing Assassin's Creed and this game sparks my love for history. >Reading books, articles online, etc. >Just filling my head with all this info. >Day of the assessment and I'm breezing through it. >Month or two later and we get our results back. >Teacher tells the class, "Only one person got a perfect score on this test in the whole school." >Kids say, "Who? WHO?!" Teacher makes a long pause, looks at me, and says, "It's Anon." >Everybody in the class was shocked. >Where my love for history started. Thanks, Ezio.

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anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?

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Anon is a scientist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)20:50:14 No.783503370 >mfw I just realized I've never seen a woman scratch her butt >do some research >they actually never do >mfw I just discovered a way to tell real women apart from traps >mfw I single handenly saved 5 KB JPG humanity When do I get my nobel prize? : Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)20:52:04 No.783503502 >>783503370 (OP) # >research Care to elaborate? >>783503685%23
: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)20:50:14 No.783503370 >mfw I just realized I've never seen a woman scratch her butt >do some research >they actually never do >mfw I just discovered a way to tell real women apart from traps >mfw I single handenly saved 5 KB JPG humanity When do I get my nobel prize? : Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)20:52:04 No.783503502 >>783503370 (OP) # >research Care to elaborate? >>783503685%23

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Anon knows math | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:48:25 No.514612342 >"PS4 has no game-" WRONG 846 KB JPG ! Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:49:43 No.514612510 >>514617537 # | Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:53:22 No.514612994 There are 119 games in that stack. The height of a standard ps4 game case is 14mm. Using basic math we can determine the man in the photo is only 5'4". 866 KB PNG 2>514615896 # >>514618429 # >514619653 #
Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:48:25 No.514612342 >"PS4 has no game-" WRONG 846 KB JPG ! Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:49:43 No.514612510 >>514617537 # | Anonymous 06/28/20(Sun)13:53:22 No.514612994 There are 119 games in that stack. The height of a standard ps4 game case is 14mm. Using basic math we can determine the man in the photo is only 5'4". 866 KB PNG 2>514615896 # >>514618429 # >514619653 #

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this is so fucking sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:57:48 No.542988776 >dad watching me play vidya >woah anon how did you know how to do (insert incredibly obvious thing here) >repeat x100 are boomers literally f------ retarded? 47 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)00:05:52 No.542989510 stop being a f-----, your dad is trying to connect with you >>542990391 # >>542990521 # >>542990724 # >>542990810 # >>542991437 # >>542991550 # >>542991956 # >>542992068 # >>542992151 # >>542992412 # >>542992605 # >>542993739 # >>542994051 # >>542996095 # >>542997281 # >>542998590 # >>543000324 # >>543000453 # >>543000617 # >>543000746 # >>543000841 # >>543001083 # >>543001335 # >>543001389 # >>543004779 # >>543005792 # >>543006553 # >>543007247 # >>543007582 # >>543008745 # >>543008851 # >>543008910 # >>543010419 # >>543010828 # >>543010934 # >>543010961 # >>543011220 # >>543011526 # >>543012078 # >>543014701 # >>543015032 # >>543015721 # >>543015803 # >>543015917 # >>543019926 # >>543020443 # >>543022048 #
: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:57:48 No.542988776 >dad watching me play vidya >woah anon how did you know how to do (insert incredibly obvious thing here) >repeat x100 are boomers literally f------ retarded? 47 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)00:05:52 No.542989510 stop being a f-----, your dad is trying to connect with you >>542990391 # >>542990521 # >>542990724 # >>542990810 # >>542991437 # >>542991550 # >>542991956 # >>542992068 # >>542992151 # >>542992412 # >>542992605 # >>542993739 # >>542994051 # >>542996095 # >>542997281 # >>542998590 # >>543000324 # >>543000453 # >>543000617 # >>543000746 # >>543000841 # >>543001083 # >>543001335 # >>543001389 # >>543004779 # >>543005792 # >>543006553 # >>543007247 # >>543007582 # >>543008745 # >>543008851 # >>543008910 # >>543010419 # >>543010828 # >>543010934 # >>543010961 # >>543011220 # >>543011526 # >>543012078 # >>543014701 # >>543015032 # >>543015721 # >>543015803 # >>543015917 # >>543019926 # >>543020443 # >>543022048 #

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Anon is a zoologist. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous - 01/28/22(Fri)11:44:51 No.67186945 I found a possum. It appears that he has gone to sleep. 1.16 MB JPG : Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)11:46:00 No.67186952 >>67186945 (OP) # F--- It >>67186998 #
: Anonymous - 01/28/22(Fri)11:44:51 No.67186945 I found a possum. It appears that he has gone to sleep. 1.16 MB JPG : Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)11:46:00 No.67186952 >>67186945 (OP) # F--- It >>67186998 #

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Anon misses old 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Where my /r9k gone? 01/28/22(Fri)08:06:58 No.67182064 >be me >make thought-provoking blackpill thread >only get a few comments >get called an incel >thread archives quickly >also be me >make thread saying traps aren't gay 99 KB JPG >100+ comments >lots of discussion and opinions >thread lasts for more than a day >it wasn't always like this here
: Anonymous Where my /r9k gone? 01/28/22(Fri)08:06:58 No.67182064 >be me >make thought-provoking blackpill thread >only get a few comments >get called an incel >thread archives quickly >also be me >make thread saying traps aren't gay 99 KB JPG >100+ comments >lots of discussion and opinions >thread lasts for more than a day >it wasn't always like this here

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Anon has goldfish memory | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)08:47:10 No.67182368 >be me >c-- on pillow >forget about it a minute later >lay head on pillow >c-- all over my face 32 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)08:47:10 No.67182368 >be me >c-- on pillow >forget about it a minute later >lay head on pillow >c-- all over my face 32 KB JPG

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Anon works fast food | /r/Greentext

| File: br604qkbxqgq-2.jpg (11 KB, 139x199) Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)21:45:23 No.871596110 [Reply] >7 years ago >working a McDonalds >one customer I will never forget >comes up to the counter >thick foreign accent, not sure where she's from >first time ever coming to McDonald's >tells me excitedly in really bad English >orders 14 hamburgers >orders up >she opens one up and says "NO" >starts holding bun towards me >"uhhh uh yellow" >explain that it's mustard sauce >"NO NO, yellow square" >figure she wants cheeseburgers >refund her and re-ring her for cheeseburgers and redo orders >takes her 14 cheeseburgers >eats about 6 and then asks for a bag for the rest >asks if she can take a picture before I bag them for her >l don't care, go for it >unwraps one and takes picture on weird off brand smart phone >"the friends I have elsewhere will decide this is not truth, I have taken picture for those ones" >smiles and leaves idk where you are cheeburger lady but I hope to be as happy as you are about the simple s--- one day
| File: br604qkbxqgq-2.jpg (11 KB, 139x199) Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)21:45:23 No.871596110 [Reply] >7 years ago >working a McDonalds >one customer I will never forget >comes up to the counter >thick foreign accent, not sure where she's from >first time ever coming to McDonald's >tells me excitedly in really bad English >orders 14 hamburgers >orders up >she opens one up and says "NO" >starts holding bun towards me >"uhhh uh yellow" >explain that it's mustard sauce >"NO NO, yellow square" >figure she wants cheeseburgers >refund her and re-ring her for cheeseburgers and redo orders >takes her 14 cheeseburgers >eats about 6 and then asks for a bag for the rest >asks if she can take a picture before I bag them for her >l don't care, go for it >unwraps one and takes picture on weird off brand smart phone >"the friends I have elsewhere will decide this is not truth, I have taken picture for those ones" >smiles and leaves idk where you are cheeburger lady but I hope to be as happy as you are about the simple s--- one day

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Anon is going for it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)12:27:53 No.48824429 >500 word essay due tomorrow >only have 302 words Tonight's the night I end it b/r9k/s 11 KB JPG 9 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)12:35:11 No.48824506 >>48824429 (OP) # >200 words Isn't that like 5 minutes of work?
: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)12:27:53 No.48824429 >500 word essay due tomorrow >only have 302 words Tonight's the night I end it b/r9k/s 11 KB JPG 9 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)12:35:11 No.48824506 >>48824429 (OP) # >200 words Isn't that like 5 minutes of work?

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Anon is gonna become an incel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)01:42:53 No.65105132 >first day of class >get to class early so im one of the first people to sit down >sit towards the back >four stacys walk in a few minutes after I sit down >in the sea of empty seats they 22 KB JPG choose 4 seats all situated near me >all of them introduce themselves to me They're going to bully me arent they
: Anonymous 08/24/21(Tue)01:42:53 No.65105132 >first day of class >get to class early so im one of the first people to sit down >sit towards the back >four stacys walk in a few minutes after I sit down >in the sea of empty seats they 22 KB JPG choose 4 seats all situated near me >all of them introduce themselves to me They're going to bully me arent they

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>can a bald | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)19:36:41 No.67078320 3BOFF28B-B937-4A82-960E-314CDF983E2F.jpg 156 KB JPG Can a bald, 5'10, average looking 27 year old go kart track supervisor get a 19 year old alt gf? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)19:37:36 No.67078330 >>67078320 (OP) # >Can a bald No.
: Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)19:36:41 No.67078320 3BOFF28B-B937-4A82-960E-314CDF983E2F.jpg 156 KB JPG Can a bald, 5'10, average looking 27 year old go kart track supervisor get a 19 year old alt gf? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/20/22(Thu)19:37:36 No.67078330 >>67078320 (OP) # >Can a bald No.

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Anon in Mafia City | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/19(Fri)13:59:54 No.7483696 >be me >level 1 crook >spot target >jump/rob the s--- out of SO IT WOULD SEEM him earg 12 KB JPG >money obtained >ohfuckwhatshappening.mp4 >body morphs into buff unit >level 35 boss >bodyguards all around me >making money by doing nothing >body morphs again >level 100 boss >basically own the entire city >stroll down the street >get jumped/robbed by some homeless thief and that's how a mafia works
: Anonymous 01/04/19(Fri)13:59:54 No.7483696 >be me >level 1 crook >spot target >jump/rob the s--- out of SO IT WOULD SEEM him earg 12 KB JPG >money obtained >ohfuckwhatshappening.mp4 >body morphs into buff unit >level 35 boss >bodyguards all around me >making money by doing nothing >body morphs again >level 100 boss >basically own the entire city >stroll down the street >get jumped/robbed by some homeless thief and that's how a mafia works

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Anon is dreaming | /r/Greentext

File: 8446E918-99A1-4534-B65C-6(...).png (436 KB, 860x1044) O Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)01:21:47 No.871589023 [Reply] >>871589387 >be asleep >have to take a s--- >know I'm dreaming because background is obviously unrealistic >wake up >take a huge s--- >confused I didn't hear a splash from the toilet water >wake up in real life >my ass and underwear is completely covered in s--- How has your Friday been b
File: 8446E918-99A1-4534-B65C-6(...).png (436 KB, 860x1044) O Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)01:21:47 No.871589023 [Reply] >>871589387 >be asleep >have to take a s--- >know I'm dreaming because background is obviously unrealistic >wake up >take a huge s--- >confused I didn't hear a splash from the toilet water >wake up in real life >my ass and underwear is completely covered in s--- How has your Friday been b

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Anon is a barista | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)03:10:22 No.67192069 >dad remarries after mom died >the new stepmom is the definition of MILF >she is working her ass off everyday cause of latina genes >after years of daily p--- use my mind can only think of stepmom 57 KB JPG p--- >attempt to seduce her but she is reticent >idea.jpg >what if c-- in her coffe cup so she loosen up a bit >ask her if she wants a cup of coffe >she says yes >proceed to bust a weeks worth of c-- in the cup >serve her the coffe >takes a sip >looks at me and asks me if I put pineapple juice in it >mfw my semen tastes like pineapple >she then drank the whole cup and asked for more
: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)03:10:22 No.67192069 >dad remarries after mom died >the new stepmom is the definition of MILF >she is working her ass off everyday cause of latina genes >after years of daily p--- use my mind can only think of stepmom 57 KB JPG p--- >attempt to seduce her but she is reticent >idea.jpg >what if c-- in her coffe cup so she loosen up a bit >ask her if she wants a cup of coffe >she says yes >proceed to bust a weeks worth of c-- in the cup >serve her the coffe >takes a sip >looks at me and asks me if I put pineapple juice in it >mfw my semen tastes like pineapple >she then drank the whole cup and asked for more

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Anon Drives A Truck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)00:35:38 No.871541535 >Be American >Want to go to the liquor store before it closes at 11pm >Get in my beast of a truck >Start engine, windows rattle up and down the street, the earth quakes in fear >Turn on brights, the resulting beam of 131 KB JPG light instantly blinds a passing jogger for life and bleaches a black Nissan Rogue completely white >Rev the engine, every window within 3 blocks is shattered from the sonic boom, the jogger is now dead >Fire up the ol' Toby Keith CD, all beer in town mysteriously vanishes >Start driving to the liquor store >The earth shakes >Asphalt is torn out by my wheels, and is left scattered on what was once a road >Casually drive over a compact, killing the entire family inside >Shouldn't have been in the passing lane >Get to the liquor store >Buy the store >Should be enough for a night or two >Call up redneck friends "Whooegetyarassesuperewegonnahaveusafire!" >Drive home >In the distance rumbling not unlike a thunderstorm grows closer >The earth begins to tremble, then to shake once more >Crack open a bud light >The echoing rumble quickly turns into a thunderous cacophony >Can hardly maintain balance, the house threatens to collapse >As I see a multitude of custom, beat up, and old trucks crest the horizon, the earth gives in >The entire state of Georgia crumbles and ceases to exist
: Anonymous 01/28/22(Fri)00:35:38 No.871541535 >Be American >Want to go to the liquor store before it closes at 11pm >Get in my beast of a truck >Start engine, windows rattle up and down the street, the earth quakes in fear >Turn on brights, the resulting beam of 131 KB JPG light instantly blinds a passing jogger for life and bleaches a black Nissan Rogue completely white >Rev the engine, every window within 3 blocks is shattered from the sonic boom, the jogger is now dead >Fire up the ol' Toby Keith CD, all beer in town mysteriously vanishes >Start driving to the liquor store >The earth shakes >Asphalt is torn out by my wheels, and is left scattered on what was once a road >Casually drive over a compact, killing the entire family inside >Shouldn't have been in the passing lane >Get to the liquor store >Buy the store >Should be enough for a night or two >Call up redneck friends "Whooegetyarassesuperewegonnahaveusafire!" >Drive home >In the distance rumbling not unlike a thunderstorm grows closer >The earth begins to tremble, then to shake once more >Crack open a bud light >The echoing rumble quickly turns into a thunderous cacophony >Can hardly maintain balance, the house threatens to collapse >As I see a multitude of custom, beat up, and old trucks crest the horizon, the earth gives in >The entire state of Georgia crumbles and ceases to exist

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