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Anon's mom manipulates him | /r/Greentext

>move to a new city because I hate mine >find a good job with pretty damn good wage >l f------ like working >actually enjoy the city >everything is going as good as it can, 309 KB PNG except for the fact I'm totally alone, but I'm okay with it >FF four months >get call from mom, she asks the usual "how's it going anon? are you good? do you need something I can bring to you?" >explain I'm doing fantastically well on my own >get asked about friends >tell her I have none >gat asked about girls I like >tell her I don't like any in particular >mom's voice starts cracking >she asks me why I'm alone after so much time far from home >answer with "I'm used to being alone since before I moved, don't worry about me mom" >hear her clearly crying from the other side >call ends, I try to recall her >doesn't answer >recall her a few more times >nothing I f------ made mom cry why am I such a p------------?
>move to a new city because I hate mine >find a good job with pretty damn good wage >l f------ like working >actually enjoy the city >everything is going as good as it can, 309 KB PNG except for the fact I'm totally alone, but I'm okay with it >FF four months >get call from mom, she asks the usual "how's it going anon? are you good? do you need something I can bring to you?" >explain I'm doing fantastically well on my own >get asked about friends >tell her I have none >gat asked about girls I like >tell her I don't like any in particular >mom's voice starts cracking >she asks me why I'm alone after so much time far from home >answer with "I'm used to being alone since before I moved, don't worry about me mom" >hear her clearly crying from the other side >call ends, I try to recall her >doesn't answer >recall her a few more times >nothing I f------ made mom cry why am I such a p------------?

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anon interacts with a woman | /r/Greentext

File: 20211222_115606.jpg (76 KB, 768x960) Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)08:47:29 No.67277921 [Reply] >>67278368 >be me, 17 >walking back home from school >long way home, 2km/1,25 miles >random qt3.14 hugs me from behind and greets me like an old friend >"I think you got the wrong person" >"What do you mean, Edward? Quit messing around, dude" >my name isn't Edward >notice dude behind her and realize >pretend it was a joke, retard chit-chat while planning next move >greet dude and make up some b------- about her coming home with me for important school stuff >he gives up quickly and let us go >didn't seem like an evil stalker just desperate and misguided >cross street, as soon as we lose sight of the stalker she thanks me profusely >walk her to a bus stop and wait with her >like a couple all the way with my hand over her shoulder and hers around my hip >she pecks my cheek before getting on the bus >never see her again 4 years later, still the closest I got to a woman. Post whitepills and disregard blackpill f------
File: 20211222_115606.jpg (76 KB, 768x960) Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)08:47:29 No.67277921 [Reply] >>67278368 >be me, 17 >walking back home from school >long way home, 2km/1,25 miles >random qt3.14 hugs me from behind and greets me like an old friend >"I think you got the wrong person" >"What do you mean, Edward? Quit messing around, dude" >my name isn't Edward >notice dude behind her and realize >pretend it was a joke, retard chit-chat while planning next move >greet dude and make up some b------- about her coming home with me for important school stuff >he gives up quickly and let us go >didn't seem like an evil stalker just desperate and misguided >cross street, as soon as we lose sight of the stalker she thanks me profusely >walk her to a bus stop and wait with her >like a couple all the way with my hand over her shoulder and hers around my hip >she pecks my cheek before getting on the bus >never see her again 4 years later, still the closest I got to a woman. Post whitepills and disregard blackpill f------

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SOCIETY 3 years from now | /r/Greentext

File: 1629653140556.png (967 KB, 824x760) Anonymous 10/03/21(Sun)15:31:42 No.5175643 >>5175677 >>5176053 >>5176728 >>5176790 >>5176795 >>5176814 >>5176839 >Right this way sir to the cockroach milk isle but before that i just need to scan your vaxpass app >Oh my science! It appears you've only gotten your 7th booster. >Guards, arrest this chud for trying to start a 13th wave! 0000
File: 1629653140556.png (967 KB, 824x760) Anonymous 10/03/21(Sun)15:31:42 No.5175643 >>5175677 >>5176053 >>5176728 >>5176790 >>5176795 >>5176814 >>5176839 >Right this way sir to the cockroach milk isle but before that i just need to scan your vaxpass app >Oh my science! It appears you've only gotten your 7th booster. >Guards, arrest this chud for trying to start a 13th wave! 0000

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Anon shops on Amazon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)12:21:25 No.67268457 Mogic Wand Magic Wand Rechargeable with Green Cosmos Personal Moisturizer - 8 oz ***** 220 $129.95 vprime who-knows-maybe.png 31 KB PNG >log onto amazon >literally one of the first items it suggests >i'm not even a chick, lol Does it work for bumholes, though? View Thread
: Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)12:21:25 No.67268457 Mogic Wand Magic Wand Rechargeable with Green Cosmos Personal Moisturizer - 8 oz ***** 220 $129.95 vprime who-knows-maybe.png 31 KB PNG >log onto amazon >literally one of the first items it suggests >i'm not even a chick, lol Does it work for bumholes, though? View Thread

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Anon meets a nice man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)00:41:07 No.872024174 >when I was 9 I went to Vegas >we were at a hotel I can't remember which one and getting on an elevator >I hear a burley voice ask to hold the door 14 KB JPG >my parents look like they've just seen a ghost >I look up >John f------ Goodman is standing there in a nice suit fairly tipsy >my parents are in awe same as me >l said "you're the guy from the Flintstones!" >he yells " oh boy are you right! yabadabadoo!" asks my dad to hold his cigar and picks me up >points down at my shirt and says "whats that?" and then flicks my nose >l was laughing and he chuckled and said "good kid you got here" >he put me down reaches in his pocket, pulls out a money clip and gave my parents a couple hundred dollars each and a cigar and said "you guys enjoy your trip huh?" >we walk out of the elevator and look back and he points a finger gun at me and clicks his tongue, waves goodbye to my parents >totally awesome dude 10/10 celebrity >I will never not be a fan
: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)00:41:07 No.872024174 >when I was 9 I went to Vegas >we were at a hotel I can't remember which one and getting on an elevator >I hear a burley voice ask to hold the door 14 KB JPG >my parents look like they've just seen a ghost >I look up >John f------ Goodman is standing there in a nice suit fairly tipsy >my parents are in awe same as me >l said "you're the guy from the Flintstones!" >he yells " oh boy are you right! yabadabadoo!" asks my dad to hold his cigar and picks me up >points down at my shirt and says "whats that?" and then flicks my nose >l was laughing and he chuckled and said "good kid you got here" >he put me down reaches in his pocket, pulls out a money clip and gave my parents a couple hundred dollars each and a cigar and said "you guys enjoy your trip huh?" >we walk out of the elevator and look back and he points a finger gun at me and clicks his tongue, waves goodbye to my parents >totally awesome dude 10/10 celebrity >I will never not be a fan

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anon likes grape | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)01:56:21 No.848996983 >be me >eating grape and watching tv >grape tasty grape 8 KB JPG 5 Replies /3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)01:56:21 No.848996983 >be me >eating grape and watching tv >grape tasty grape 8 KB JPG 5 Replies /3 Images View Thread

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Anon will be rich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fr)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered >9006183 # 229006205 # :Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy
: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fr)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered >9006183 # 229006205 # :Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy

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Anon goes on 4chan | /r/Greentext

> be me > actually have a really good life, get girls, etc > get sad every once in a while > go on 4chan and thank God I'm not like any of you degenerates > thx guys 3 KB JPG
> be me > actually have a really good life, get girls, etc > get sad every once in a while > go on 4chan and thank God I'm not like any of you degenerates > thx guys 3 KB JPG

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If only 4chan was a suicide hotline forum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)00:43:32 No.16564556 >boiling potatoes on the stove >leave them for a bit >start smelling gas >the fire went out on the stove for some reason >turn off the stove 277 KB PNG I've only had a gas stove for two months, am I okay? I opened all my windows. : Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)00:44:31 No.16564558 Light a match, that'll clear the air. >>16564569 #
: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)00:43:32 No.16564556 >boiling potatoes on the stove >leave them for a bit >start smelling gas >the fire went out on the stove for some reason >turn off the stove 277 KB PNG I've only had a gas stove for two months, am I okay? I opened all my windows. : Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)00:44:31 No.16564558 Light a match, that'll clear the air. >>16564569 #

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Anon is delusional | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)22:04:16 No.67231606 >be me >average 25 year old man >grew up in a deeply religious family >be 8 years old and start seeing things >usually angels and ghosts >be at church and see angels like 267 KB JPG pic related >tell family and they realize I have a gift but tell me not to tell anyone so the establishment doesn't find out >literally see my granny once she pass away >little angels are usually sitting somewhere looking at me and mouthing words but cant hear them >they seem ethereal almost unreal >over time start hearing sounds >usually stuff like knocks and random sounds >little angels start making sounds but cant understand what they're saying >be later >start hearing mumbles and unintelligible conversations >realize I can hear people prayers >be one night >wake up at the middle of the night and see an angel sitting on the corner of my room and decide to talk to him >angel finally speaks clearly >angel tells me how the humanity has corrupted and how we are in our path of damnation which I had already noticed >angel reveals my truth and my mission >l'm the second coming of Jesus >my memories have been erased but I was send to save men >tell family about it and the don't seem convinced but tell me to not tell anyone so (((they))) don't get me institutionalized >Literally trying to save humanity but no one wants to hear me Anons im desperate right now. We are all in danger. The end is near and nobody wants to listen to me. I dont know what to do View Thread
: Anonymous 01/31/22(Mon)22:04:16 No.67231606 >be me >average 25 year old man >grew up in a deeply religious family >be 8 years old and start seeing things >usually angels and ghosts >be at church and see angels like 267 KB JPG pic related >tell family and they realize I have a gift but tell me not to tell anyone so the establishment doesn't find out >literally see my granny once she pass away >little angels are usually sitting somewhere looking at me and mouthing words but cant hear them >they seem ethereal almost unreal >over time start hearing sounds >usually stuff like knocks and random sounds >little angels start making sounds but cant understand what they're saying >be later >start hearing mumbles and unintelligible conversations >realize I can hear people prayers >be one night >wake up at the middle of the night and see an angel sitting on the corner of my room and decide to talk to him >angel finally speaks clearly >angel tells me how the humanity has corrupted and how we are in our path of damnation which I had already noticed >angel reveals my truth and my mission >l'm the second coming of Jesus >my memories have been erased but I was send to save men >tell family about it and the don't seem convinced but tell me to not tell anyone so (((they))) don't get me institutionalized >Literally trying to save humanity but no one wants to hear me Anons im desperate right now. We are all in danger. The end is near and nobody wants to listen to me. I dont know what to do View Thread

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Anon gets what he deserves | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)19:01:23 No.62658503 >finish c-------- >drop it in can >mfw it's the soda I just walked into the kitchen to get 33 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)20:36:36 No.62659783 Smoking inside is gross and you deserve this.
: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)19:01:23 No.62658503 >finish c-------- >drop it in can >mfw it's the soda I just walked into the kitchen to get 33 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)20:36:36 No.62659783 Smoking inside is gross and you deserve this.

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Is it too early for LNI? | /r/Greentext

File: 1358705525070.jpg-(13 KB, 342x246, 1349645695422.jpg) Anonymous (ID: RTxpnhsh) 01/20/13(Sun)13:12:05 No.452424189 >2 hours ago >having a--- with 9/10 GF for the first time in years >feelsgoodman.jpg >enjoying it for about 10 minutes until feel a foreign object in GF's ass >ohgodno >pull d--- out >expect it to be covered in s--- >nope >f------ tapeworm wrapped around d--- >can feel it constricting my d---, trying to retract back into GF's ass >fight the urge to vomit and pull the rest of it out >stretches to 6 feet and then stops >GF asks "anon y did you stop?" >sees worm >has a m------------ panic attack >starts screaming and puking and s------- everywhere all over my bedsheets >oh god the smell >parents barge in and see both of us naked and covered in puke and s--- with a tapeworm sticking our of her ass >mom faints >dad pukes >dad calls 911 >ambulance comes and picks up GF >parents go back to bed >we spend the rest of the night trying to pretend this s--- didn't happen >l sleep downstairs on the couch, not bothering to clean my sheets >cant sleep >mfw
File: 1358705525070.jpg-(13 KB, 342x246, 1349645695422.jpg) Anonymous (ID: RTxpnhsh) 01/20/13(Sun)13:12:05 No.452424189 >2 hours ago >having a--- with 9/10 GF for the first time in years >feelsgoodman.jpg >enjoying it for about 10 minutes until feel a foreign object in GF's ass >ohgodno >pull d--- out >expect it to be covered in s--- >nope >f------ tapeworm wrapped around d--- >can feel it constricting my d---, trying to retract back into GF's ass >fight the urge to vomit and pull the rest of it out >stretches to 6 feet and then stops >GF asks "anon y did you stop?" >sees worm >has a m------------ panic attack >starts screaming and puking and s------- everywhere all over my bedsheets >oh god the smell >parents barge in and see both of us naked and covered in puke and s--- with a tapeworm sticking our of her ass >mom faints >dad pukes >dad calls 911 >ambulance comes and picks up GF >parents go back to bed >we spend the rest of the night trying to pretend this s--- didn't happen >l sleep downstairs on the couch, not bothering to clean my sheets >cant sleep >mfw

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anon gets a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)07:59:50 No.67277422 >finally get date with girl >bring her to my apartment to f--- >we go into my room to watch netflix >she sees that i have two monitors, light up keyboard, ect >makes weird face 28 KB JPG >wont even sit close to me >ubers home 30 mins later 8 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)07:59:50 No.67277422 >finally get date with girl >bring her to my apartment to f--- >we go into my room to watch netflix >she sees that i have two monitors, light up keyboard, ect >makes weird face 28 KB JPG >wont even sit close to me >ubers home 30 mins later 8 Replies View Thread

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Ben Shapiro Disembowels Me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)11:24:31 No.871971968 >Let's say, hypothetically, that l'm hunting you for sport >Now, you may infact run >But, as things stand, you cannot hide >given the only thing that can stop me is an announcement from today's sponsor: 21 KB JPG Birch Gold >and you on the other hand, can only run so long as your feeble body allows it >it's reasonable for me to say that you should just give up >in fact, I would go so far as to say that your death is the only logical conclusion of our encounter >therefore, you are merely delaying the inevitable >now, you may be in fear as I cleave your rib cage in two >you may in fact beg for mercy, appealing to my sense of compassion >however, this would be a colossal mistake >you see, what you fail to understand is... >Axe don't care about your feelings
: Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)11:24:31 No.871971968 >Let's say, hypothetically, that l'm hunting you for sport >Now, you may infact run >But, as things stand, you cannot hide >given the only thing that can stop me is an announcement from today's sponsor: 21 KB JPG Birch Gold >and you on the other hand, can only run so long as your feeble body allows it >it's reasonable for me to say that you should just give up >in fact, I would go so far as to say that your death is the only logical conclusion of our encounter >therefore, you are merely delaying the inevitable >now, you may be in fear as I cleave your rib cage in two >you may in fact beg for mercy, appealing to my sense of compassion >however, this would be a colossal mistake >you see, what you fail to understand is... >Axe don't care about your feelings

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Anon plays chess with women’s egos | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/21(Fri)03:26:24 No.62913490 >>62912980 (OP) # i'm already married but when i hang out with my single friends, to help them hook with some beautiful chicks, i spot the classic couple of good looking girl with fat friend and go for the fat friend, offering her a drink etc. while i'm busy distracting the whale i send my friend to the hot chick, that is now demoralised because she thought the guys would hit on her and not on the whale and most of the time my friend succeeds. when i see they succeded, i tell the hambeast that i was just pretending to be interested because i wanted my friend to have a chance with the beautiful girl, and then leave her alone, go back home to my beautiful wife and laugh with her at the fat chick who is now alone and probably binge drinking so she'll be even fatter the next day. never thought life could be this good
: Anonymous 08/06/21(Fri)03:26:24 No.62913490 >>62912980 (OP) # i'm already married but when i hang out with my single friends, to help them hook with some beautiful chicks, i spot the classic couple of good looking girl with fat friend and go for the fat friend, offering her a drink etc. while i'm busy distracting the whale i send my friend to the hot chick, that is now demoralised because she thought the guys would hit on her and not on the whale and most of the time my friend succeeds. when i see they succeded, i tell the hambeast that i was just pretending to be interested because i wanted my friend to have a chance with the beautiful girl, and then leave her alone, go back home to my beautiful wife and laugh with her at the fat chick who is now alone and probably binge drinking so she'll be even fatter the next day. never thought life could be this good

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Anon post on reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:31:01 No.46671113 >be me >sad and depressed >mom comes over >she makes pancakes Thanks mom, i love you 7 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:33:39 No.46671147 >be me >loser working dead end job barely enough to pay rent >no friends, dont talk to co workers >depressed >mom comes over every week to cook several days worth of food and restock groceries >cleans my place >never asks for anything Reminder to love your mom.
: Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:31:01 No.46671113 >be me >sad and depressed >mom comes over >she makes pancakes Thanks mom, i love you 7 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:33:39 No.46671147 >be me >loser working dead end job barely enough to pay rent >no friends, dont talk to co workers >depressed >mom comes over every week to cook several days worth of food and restock groceries >cleans my place >never asks for anything Reminder to love your mom.

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anon gets a kid in trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/19(Wed)20:06:08 No.794330457 getting people in trouble stories thread i'll start >be me >be at friends birthday party a few days ago >we're at a hibachi 119 KB JPG restaurant >me and a few other friends f------ around talking about anime games all that good s--- >One of my friends shows me how to use airdrop on my iphone >want to try it out >see a family sitting at another table >see that the mom also has an iphone >see kid playing with a nintendo switch >idea.jpg >change my phones name to nintendo switch >wait for her to turn on her phone >send her anime lewds >message pops up as nintendo switch would like to share an image with you >mom sees this >thisgonbegood.wav >the mom looks at the kid"JASON WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ON YOUR SWITCH >the kid shows his switch to her "i'm playing sonic" >the mom shows the kid her phone and asks " then why is my phone saying nintendo switch would like to share an image with you" >she shows the kid her phone >kid try's defending himself >mom doesn't believe him and takes away his switch >try not to burst into laughter pic related
: Anonymous 03/06/19(Wed)20:06:08 No.794330457 getting people in trouble stories thread i'll start >be me >be at friends birthday party a few days ago >we're at a hibachi 119 KB JPG restaurant >me and a few other friends f------ around talking about anime games all that good s--- >One of my friends shows me how to use airdrop on my iphone >want to try it out >see a family sitting at another table >see that the mom also has an iphone >see kid playing with a nintendo switch >idea.jpg >change my phones name to nintendo switch >wait for her to turn on her phone >send her anime lewds >message pops up as nintendo switch would like to share an image with you >mom sees this >thisgonbegood.wav >the mom looks at the kid"JASON WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ON YOUR SWITCH >the kid shows his switch to her "i'm playing sonic" >the mom shows the kid her phone and asks " then why is my phone saying nintendo switch would like to share an image with you" >she shows the kid her phone >kid try's defending himself >mom doesn't believe him and takes away his switch >try not to burst into laughter pic related

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Roanon visits Europe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I 12/25/21(Sat)17:14:40 No.157089133 ► >be romanian >go to French >talk in english with locals >they barely speak it and tried being arrogant with their smug face to me >I switch to romanian language with thick accent >they looked worried and left >Go to Spain >few spanish n----- approach me >I respond in romanian with thick accent again >they bend their heads and left >Go to Italy >speake a bit of italian >Some sicilian tattooed fatass ask me to borrow him few bucks with a threatening tone >I remembered what I did in France and Spain and switch to romanian again. >Never saw a fatty walking away that fast before. Didnt knew our language is that spooky to european's ears.
Anonymous I 12/25/21(Sat)17:14:40 No.157089133 ► >be romanian >go to French >talk in english with locals >they barely speak it and tried being arrogant with their smug face to me >I switch to romanian language with thick accent >they looked worried and left >Go to Spain >few spanish n----- approach me >I respond in romanian with thick accent again >they bend their heads and left >Go to Italy >speake a bit of italian >Some sicilian tattooed fatass ask me to borrow him few bucks with a threatening tone >I remembered what I did in France and Spain and switch to romanian again. >Never saw a fatty walking away that fast before. Didnt knew our language is that spooky to european's ears.

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Anon on windmill ideology | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a positive attitude | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Asking a girl out 11/14/20(Sat)18:25:14 No.60909992 >be me >20yrs old >Lifes good >Ask some girl I found attractive out >She refuses >Lifes still good How are you doing my fellow 78 KB JPG frogposters?
: Anonymous Asking a girl out 11/14/20(Sat)18:25:14 No.60909992 >be me >20yrs old >Lifes good >Ask some girl I found attractive out >She refuses >Lifes still good How are you doing my fellow 78 KB JPG frogposters?

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