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Anon fails 1th grade | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:56:15 No.754124819 > Back in 1th grade > Teacher ask to write my name > Draw a banana > Gets a F and public exposure I hate my life 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:58:23 No.754125046 >1th You deserve what you got op
: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:56:15 No.754124819 > Back in 1th grade > Teacher ask to write my name > Draw a banana > Gets a F and public exposure I hate my life 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:58:23 No.754125046 >1th You deserve what you got op

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Anon failed highschool biology | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:20:10 No.872048602 How do I sell one of my livers on the dark web? 41 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:28:27 No.872049007 >>872048602 (OP) # dont we just have one liver?? >>872049092 # >>872049115 # : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:29:53 No.872049080 >>872048602(OP) # >one of my livers anon...im sorry to break it to you : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:30:04 No.872049092 >>872049007 # Shush, dont ruin this.
: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:20:10 No.872048602 How do I sell one of my livers on the dark web? 41 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:28:27 No.872049007 >>872048602 (OP) # dont we just have one liver?? >>872049092 # >>872049115 # : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:29:53 No.872049080 >>872048602(OP) # >one of my livers anon...im sorry to break it to you : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:30:04 No.872049092 >>872049007 # Shush, dont ruin this.

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Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)11:00:59 No.67059989 1635796847882.jpg 17 KB JPG >>67059001 (OP) # >get into an argument with someone >use a personal tragedy of theirs to make them really upset (ie: "Is [this opinion] why your mom killed herself?") >they stop arguing with me
: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)11:00:59 No.67059989 1635796847882.jpg 17 KB JPG >>67059001 (OP) # >get into an argument with someone >use a personal tragedy of theirs to make them really upset (ie: "Is [this opinion] why your mom killed herself?") >they stop arguing with me

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Anon is cucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)22:47:43 No.872042631 >be me >have gf who i love so much >breaks up with me two weeks ago >says she just can't be in a relationship at the moment 11 KB JPG >needs to focus on herself >hurt immensely but i understand >look at the bright side, can focus entirely on myself now to0 >she still wants to be friends and at least get coffee sometimes >see her yesterday >she says shes seeing someone new >"idk it just happened out of nowhere anon" >pain.jpg >dont know what to say, just tell her i need to go home >so much pain How could she do this to me bros, why are women so evil? So much for wanting to focus on herself Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)22:49:59 No.872042731 >>872042631 (OP) # She lied to you ! F------ cuck ! Kill then both 45 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)22:47:43 No.872042631 >be me >have gf who i love so much >breaks up with me two weeks ago >says she just can't be in a relationship at the moment 11 KB JPG >needs to focus on herself >hurt immensely but i understand >look at the bright side, can focus entirely on myself now to0 >she still wants to be friends and at least get coffee sometimes >see her yesterday >she says shes seeing someone new >"idk it just happened out of nowhere anon" >pain.jpg >dont know what to say, just tell her i need to go home >so much pain How could she do this to me bros, why are women so evil? So much for wanting to focus on herself Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)22:49:59 No.872042731 >>872042631 (OP) # She lied to you ! F------ cuck ! Kill then both 45 KB JPG

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Anon gets vaccinated against the Coof | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)15:18:45 No.851455113 > Be me > Decide to get vaccine > Drive on over to the vaccination center in my town > as soon as I get there I notice a mob across the street > it's a group of anti-vacc retards 4 KB JPG chanting "Vaccines cause autism" and "COVID vaccine is a microchip" > think they are just a group of paranoid dipshits > proceed to head inside > fill out paperwork and await my shot > wait in a room along with hundreds of other people > biggest crowd of people I've seen in a room since the quarantine > after around an hour I get the shot > get told to come back in two weeks for the next dose > leave building > crowd of dipshits are still chanting > get in car > Head home > about half way I start getting a little drowsy > tough it out until I get home > as soon as I get home I fall on my couch > pass the f--- out > when I wake up I notice a loading bar > "Downloading Autisim.exe" > F--- > Bar is at 98% > lay there in fear > 99% > start to cry > Error: Autism.exe already Running on system > MFW I've had autism this whole time
| Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)15:18:45 No.851455113 > Be me > Decide to get vaccine > Drive on over to the vaccination center in my town > as soon as I get there I notice a mob across the street > it's a group of anti-vacc retards 4 KB JPG chanting "Vaccines cause autism" and "COVID vaccine is a microchip" > think they are just a group of paranoid dipshits > proceed to head inside > fill out paperwork and await my shot > wait in a room along with hundreds of other people > biggest crowd of people I've seen in a room since the quarantine > after around an hour I get the shot > get told to come back in two weeks for the next dose > leave building > crowd of dipshits are still chanting > get in car > Head home > about half way I start getting a little drowsy > tough it out until I get home > as soon as I get home I fall on my couch > pass the f--- out > when I wake up I notice a loading bar > "Downloading Autisim.exe" > F--- > Bar is at 98% > lay there in fear > 99% > start to cry > Error: Autism.exe already Running on system > MFW I've had autism this whole time

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Anyone could be an orca online and you'll never know | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately : Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >>778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >>778248236 # >>778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >>778248248 # Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248229 >>778248272 # >>778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >we >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # 207 KB PNG >>778248321 # >>778248351 # >>778248397 # >>778248611 # >>778248815 # >>778248875 # >>778249065 # >>778250198 # >>778250913 # >>778251090 # >>778251464 #
: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately : Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >>778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >>778248236 # >>778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >>778248248 # Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248229 >>778248272 # >>778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >we >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # 207 KB PNG >>778248321 # >>778248351 # >>778248397 # >>778248611 # >>778248815 # >>778248875 # >>778249065 # >>778250198 # >>778250913 # >>778251090 # >>778251464 #

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Anon's stepsister likes the show with underage nudity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)13:13:16 No.872030622 >tfw your 10 year-old step-daughter watches Big Mouth >tfw you try to show her South Park as you thought she'd like it more >tfw she says South Park is cringe This generation, I swear. 40 KB JPG 64 Replies / 7 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)13:13:16 No.872030622 >tfw your 10 year-old step-daughter watches Big Mouth >tfw you try to show her South Park as you thought she'd like it more >tfw she says South Park is cringe This generation, I swear. 40 KB JPG 64 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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Anon is a degenerate (not big surprise) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:23:16 No.872048745 >Little sister is a loli >(pictured) >She enters your bedroom one night >"Oh Brother, I wish to bear your children!" 1.94 MB PNG wwyd? : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:27:18 No.872048951 Looks like this anon needs to visit my wood chipper.
: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:23:16 No.872048745 >Little sister is a loli >(pictured) >She enters your bedroom one night >"Oh Brother, I wish to bear your children!" 1.94 MB PNG wwyd? : Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)20:27:18 No.872048951 Looks like this anon needs to visit my wood chipper.

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Firearms Friday | /r/Greentext

ar15.jpg 32 KB JPG >be me >cause 37,000 deaths each year >cause an additional 2.35 million injuries >be the cause of nearly 1,600 children under age 15 >cost the US 230.6 billion per year, or an average of $820 per person. >be the greatest annual cause of death of healthy US citizens >be automobile >pic unrelated
ar15.jpg 32 KB JPG >be me >cause 37,000 deaths each year >cause an additional 2.35 million injuries >be the cause of nearly 1,600 children under age 15 >cost the US 230.6 billion per year, or an average of $820 per person. >be the greatest annual cause of death of healthy US citizens >be automobile >pic unrelated

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Anon will forget | /r/Greentext

File: mfw. jpg (9 KB, 360x287) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:35:44 No.848511858 > googling Alzheimer's symptoms > all the links are purple. >mfw
File: mfw. jpg (9 KB, 360x287) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:35:44 No.848511858 > googling Alzheimer's symptoms > all the links are purple. >mfw

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Anon loves pokemon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Legends Arceus is so fun 02/03/22(Thu)18:09:31 No.49538074 57B5399B-5B93-435C-8169-647296068410.jpg 798 KB JPG Was at a murder trial today and just couldn't put down Pokemon Legends Arceus. The Switch is so amazing for letting me play anywhere.
: Anonymous Legends Arceus is so fun 02/03/22(Thu)18:09:31 No.49538074 57B5399B-5B93-435C-8169-647296068410.jpg 798 KB JPG Was at a murder trial today and just couldn't put down Pokemon Legends Arceus. The Switch is so amazing for letting me play anywhere.

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Anon buys nft | /r/Greentext

KFC KFC R: 0 Just stole this NFT R: 10 / I: 2 ► Just bought this NFT and now l'm trying to make profit and sell it? Did I do good or am I retard? https://rarible.com/t oken/flow/A.01 from a retard. Did I do good? ab36aaf654a13e.Rar ibleNFT:116169
KFC KFC R: 0 Just stole this NFT R: 10 / I: 2 ► Just bought this NFT and now l'm trying to make profit and sell it? Did I do good or am I retard? https://rarible.com/t oken/flow/A.01 from a retard. Did I do good? ab36aaf654a13e.Rar ibleNFT:116169

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Anon is an entrepreneur | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39) 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 ina month doing this
5m (9/20 9:39) 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 ina month doing this

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Anon witnesses something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)14:44:55 No.872025483 >be me >hungry as s--- out of no where >no f------ food in house s--- >grabs my keys and wallet to buy junk food at the gas station 1.17 MB PNG >half way through hear my neighbor walking down his driveway so i look over towards him >he is just wearing f------ flip flops and a pair of boxers while carrying 2 big black trash bags >its f------ 3am and it just snowed for the past 2 days so its cold as s--- out and like a good foot of snow on the ground >before he even is able to put his trash in his bins someone peaks out his door and screams >BRO THE PIZZA IS ABOUT TO BURN >other neighbor looks towards him and f------ bolts to the trashcans tosses the bags in and run back up his driveway through 1 foot of snow and a pair of flipflops and goes inside >stand there just f------ dumb founded what the f--- did I just witness
: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)14:44:55 No.872025483 >be me >hungry as s--- out of no where >no f------ food in house s--- >grabs my keys and wallet to buy junk food at the gas station 1.17 MB PNG >half way through hear my neighbor walking down his driveway so i look over towards him >he is just wearing f------ flip flops and a pair of boxers while carrying 2 big black trash bags >its f------ 3am and it just snowed for the past 2 days so its cold as s--- out and like a good foot of snow on the ground >before he even is able to put his trash in his bins someone peaks out his door and screams >BRO THE PIZZA IS ABOUT TO BURN >other neighbor looks towards him and f------ bolts to the trashcans tosses the bags in and run back up his driveway through 1 foot of snow and a pair of flipflops and goes inside >stand there just f------ dumb founded what the f--- did I just witness

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Anon likes RoboCop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/19(Mon)12:28:07 No.807496699 Feeling cute. Might maul the neighbor's child later. IDK > Be me, 21 year old virgin, early 1990's > Mom's friend's daughter comes to stay with us while see is looking for work > 19 yo qt with long black hair > We spent a lot of time together as I had to drive her around 65 KB JPG > One day we are alone at home > We are watching videos, Robocop > She stops the movie and says she has something to show me > Puts in another video, smiles and press play > P----. Never seen a p---- before, don't know why she is showing me this > Tell her to put Robocop on again > Watch Robocop in silence > Awesome movie View Thread
: Anonymous 08/19/19(Mon)12:28:07 No.807496699 Feeling cute. Might maul the neighbor's child later. IDK > Be me, 21 year old virgin, early 1990's > Mom's friend's daughter comes to stay with us while see is looking for work > 19 yo qt with long black hair > We spent a lot of time together as I had to drive her around 65 KB JPG > One day we are alone at home > We are watching videos, Robocop > She stops the movie and says she has something to show me > Puts in another video, smiles and press play > P----. Never seen a p---- before, don't know why she is showing me this > Tell her to put Robocop on again > Watch Robocop in silence > Awesome movie View Thread

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anon suffers from delusions of talent | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)19:24:36 No.872003661 Tckeaptoae debeb21772cfca028fb71d60d2bbe6e8.jpg 123 KB JPG Please rate my painting of Jacksepticeye i did in rehab 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)19:24:36 No.872003661 Tckeaptoae debeb21772cfca028fb71d60d2bbe6e8.jpg 123 KB JPG Please rate my painting of Jacksepticeye i did in rehab 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon loves animals | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)09:50:37 No.869965152 capybara432.jpg 40 KB JPG I really love this animal The caterpillar
: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)09:50:37 No.869965152 capybara432.jpg 40 KB JPG I really love this animal The caterpillar

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anon experiences the peak | /r/Greentext

File: 9262499A-DBB3-4F42-9BC1-8(...).jpg (63 KB, 1082x695) Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)10:46:38 No.67279122 [Reply] >Be me >Snowing outside >Make hot chocolate >put on warm socks and wrap up in a warm blanket >play vidya Is this the peak??
File: 9262499A-DBB3-4F42-9BC1-8(...).jpg (63 KB, 1082x695) Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)10:46:38 No.67279122 [Reply] >Be me >Snowing outside >Make hot chocolate >put on warm socks and wrap up in a warm blanket >play vidya Is this the peak??

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Anon is a raptor. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/17(Thu)22:44:40 No.38350468 >school assembly, i'm in grade 8 >they're handing out little award things for people who did sports and good academic s--- >they announce the helping/kindness award, only my name is called (I did this volunteering s--- where I helped the band put s--- 186 KB PNG away after their practices) >think it would be cool to walk up like a raptor >l walk up there hunched over like a raptor with my hands forward like raptor claws and exaggerated raptor leg movements kicking behind me >walk back to my seat in the same fashion >everyone around me is giving me weird looks >next class everyone is like what the f--- is wrong with you
: Anonymous 07/13/17(Thu)22:44:40 No.38350468 >school assembly, i'm in grade 8 >they're handing out little award things for people who did sports and good academic s--- >they announce the helping/kindness award, only my name is called (I did this volunteering s--- where I helped the band put s--- 186 KB PNG away after their practices) >think it would be cool to walk up like a raptor >l walk up there hunched over like a raptor with my hands forward like raptor claws and exaggerated raptor leg movements kicking behind me >walk back to my seat in the same fashion >everyone around me is giving me weird looks >next class everyone is like what the f--- is wrong with you

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Anon goes on expensive date | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)13:51:50 No.871980071 [Reply] ► >Be me, grade A virgin >Cousin got sad after seeing my plight, and decided to set me up on a blind date >l didn't have any hopes, but still went forward with the date >We were supposed to meet over dinner >She was decent looking 5/10 >She asked the waiter to bring the most expensive wine >ThisFuckingBitch.mp3 >l didn't want to be rude, so I didn't say anything, but I was worried she would financially suck me dry >She ordered expensive food on the menu as well >I knew I was grandly f----- >I then decided to excuse myself to the restroom to cool down >Took some time and figured it would be in my best interest to just bail >And I did just that >My cousin started blasting my phone with several missed calls and expletive messages >Switched off my phone, jerked off and went to sleep
| Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)13:51:50 No.871980071 [Reply] ► >Be me, grade A virgin >Cousin got sad after seeing my plight, and decided to set me up on a blind date >l didn't have any hopes, but still went forward with the date >We were supposed to meet over dinner >She was decent looking 5/10 >She asked the waiter to bring the most expensive wine >ThisFuckingBitch.mp3 >l didn't want to be rude, so I didn't say anything, but I was worried she would financially suck me dry >She ordered expensive food on the menu as well >I knew I was grandly f----- >I then decided to excuse myself to the restroom to cool down >Took some time and figured it would be in my best interest to just bail >And I did just that >My cousin started blasting my phone with several missed calls and expletive messages >Switched off my phone, jerked off and went to sleep

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