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Anon plays Fortnite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:56:29 No.782835429 I'll start >be me >playing Fortnite like a normfag >play a squad fill game cause I have no friends 27 KB JPG >get in a game with a third grader and a wannabe ninja >wannabe ninja starts screaming at kid for saying "hey noskin, do you have any minis" >Il defend the kid >Kid says thanks and adds me >Play for a bit >He tells me l'm the nicest person he's met >He tells me l'm his best friend >I realize I feel the same way mfw my best friend is a third grader 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:58:46 No.782835590 >playing Fortnite didnt read the rest, f--- you anon >>782835790 #
: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:56:29 No.782835429 I'll start >be me >playing Fortnite like a normfag >play a squad fill game cause I have no friends 27 KB JPG >get in a game with a third grader and a wannabe ninja >wannabe ninja starts screaming at kid for saying "hey noskin, do you have any minis" >Il defend the kid >Kid says thanks and adds me >Play for a bit >He tells me l'm the nicest person he's met >He tells me l'm his best friend >I realize I feel the same way mfw my best friend is a third grader 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:58:46 No.782835590 >playing Fortnite didnt read the rest, f--- you anon >>782835790 #

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Anon smacks cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Destroyer of Cheese 11/12/18(Mon)07:59:47 No.49228702 >Be me >At lunch >Sit with weird friend group >The Smelly Tard starts making unoriginal jokes >Make fun of him for being a furry >He throws a piece of cheese at me 770 KB PNG >l f------ smack it straight out of the air >It hits a wall and slowly slides down leaving a greasy trail >Look at smelly tard friend in the eyes >Scream at the top of my lungs in a barbaric voice >"Get your god damn cheese out of here" >Teacher right behind me >MFW put in Special Ed.
: Anonymous Destroyer of Cheese 11/12/18(Mon)07:59:47 No.49228702 >Be me >At lunch >Sit with weird friend group >The Smelly Tard starts making unoriginal jokes >Make fun of him for being a furry >He throws a piece of cheese at me 770 KB PNG >l f------ smack it straight out of the air >It hits a wall and slowly slides down leaving a greasy trail >Look at smelly tard friend in the eyes >Scream at the top of my lungs in a barbaric voice >"Get your god damn cheese out of here" >Teacher right behind me >MFW put in Special Ed.

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Anon likes America | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/14/16(Wed) 19:11:11 No.703940657 >be me >recently moved because of job opportunity, no gf, no friends in town >every friday, order a pizza from local pizzahut >give delivery guy a different 21 KB JPG "challenge" every time they bring a pizza, with a large tip as a reward if they complete it >always make them america-related >start easy. draw an american flag for 54 >slowly make them more and more challenging, increasing reward as time goes on >"recite the preamble for 20$" >"tell me your personal opinion on the 2nd amendment for 10$" >etc etc >this goes on for a few months until pretty much every employee in the resturaunt that has done a delivery has at least attempted one of my challenges >yesterday, get in pretty bad car accident >wake up in hospital today. told by nurse that a few people came by to visit, mainly coworkers from job >some of them left a pizza >mfw there's a pizza on a table in the room of the same type that i always get >mfw it's got an american flag on it and a "get well soon" card with signatures from the entire restaurant staff
Anonymous 09/14/16(Wed) 19:11:11 No.703940657 >be me >recently moved because of job opportunity, no gf, no friends in town >every friday, order a pizza from local pizzahut >give delivery guy a different 21 KB JPG "challenge" every time they bring a pizza, with a large tip as a reward if they complete it >always make them america-related >start easy. draw an american flag for 54 >slowly make them more and more challenging, increasing reward as time goes on >"recite the preamble for 20$" >"tell me your personal opinion on the 2nd amendment for 10$" >etc etc >this goes on for a few months until pretty much every employee in the resturaunt that has done a delivery has at least attempted one of my challenges >yesterday, get in pretty bad car accident >wake up in hospital today. told by nurse that a few people came by to visit, mainly coworkers from job >some of them left a pizza >mfw there's a pizza on a table in the room of the same type that i always get >mfw it's got an american flag on it and a "get well soon" card with signatures from the entire restaurant staff

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Anon gives us a reminder | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 48592635 10 min ago •.. REMINDER IF YOU >have a job >have a gf >go to uni >have a degree >have lost your virginity 72.1 kB JPG you are a NORMALFAG. >b-b-b-bu sometimes I'm so0o awkward n sad :(i'm such a robot if you in any capacity can funciton in the real world. you are a normal person.
Anonymous 48592635 10 min ago •.. REMINDER IF YOU >have a job >have a gf >go to uni >have a degree >have lost your virginity 72.1 kB JPG you are a NORMALFAG. >b-b-b-bu sometimes I'm so0o awkward n sad :(i'm such a robot if you in any capacity can funciton in the real world. you are a normal person.

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Anon's hypothetical | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:47:23 No.872172463 Alright /B/, you've been targeted in the night by violent mercenaries, your identitys been confused with one that looks like you. What is your weapon of choice and why? 64 KB JPG >Pic related, it's mine: a colt python 50cal revolver, upgraded with reflex site for quicker target acquisition and an extended clip to take out more enemies before reload. : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:48:38 No.872172520 >>872172463 (OP)# I'm all for white boys being hunted down and being murdered in the night. Bump
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:47:23 No.872172463 Alright /B/, you've been targeted in the night by violent mercenaries, your identitys been confused with one that looks like you. What is your weapon of choice and why? 64 KB JPG >Pic related, it's mine: a colt python 50cal revolver, upgraded with reflex site for quicker target acquisition and an extended clip to take out more enemies before reload. : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:48:38 No.872172520 >>872172463 (OP)# I'm all for white boys being hunted down and being murdered in the night. Bump

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Anon is a teacher | /r/Greentext

> be me > 2nd grade teacher > got this one kid, let's call him Mikey > now Mikey has a problem > a daily f------ problem > heshitshimselfeachday.mp3 >I ask him each time if he needs to go and seemingly he just s---- himself whenever he needs to > I've told his mother countless times to fix it, but she's 19 KB PNG done f--- all > she is to blame > lazybitch.jpg > so I thought up a plan > afuckingapexpredatorofaplan.png >i give the kids free milk in the final 15 minutes of school > apart from in Mikeys I put a bit of laxatives > dontworryimadesureitwassafe.wav > so he'd s--- himself at home instead of here >I do this for a few weeks and sometimes lose my own gamble > sometimes I lose sight of why I gave him laxatives when I see it running down the chair > get petty and decided to double the amount > fuckhimandhisfamily.jpg > takes 4 days before he starts asking to go for a s--- > his house must've been f------ plastered for this development > his mother got pink eye so it must've been a deadly IED > I'm best teacher
> be me > 2nd grade teacher > got this one kid, let's call him Mikey > now Mikey has a problem > a daily f------ problem > heshitshimselfeachday.mp3 >I ask him each time if he needs to go and seemingly he just s---- himself whenever he needs to > I've told his mother countless times to fix it, but she's 19 KB PNG done f--- all > she is to blame > lazybitch.jpg > so I thought up a plan > afuckingapexpredatorofaplan.png >i give the kids free milk in the final 15 minutes of school > apart from in Mikeys I put a bit of laxatives > dontworryimadesureitwassafe.wav > so he'd s--- himself at home instead of here >I do this for a few weeks and sometimes lose my own gamble > sometimes I lose sight of why I gave him laxatives when I see it running down the chair > get petty and decided to double the amount > fuckhimandhisfamily.jpg > takes 4 days before he starts asking to go for a s--- > his house must've been f------ plastered for this development > his mother got pink eye so it must've been a deadly IED > I'm best teacher

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)23:23:24 No.872197191 >be me 5.6 skinny long hair bi curious >talking with friend about our jobs >he is a farmer and built like a unit >he makes fun of me and says my job isn't masculine >i make a joke saying that if isn't masculine then how comes he 7 KB JPG cant pick me up >he then proceeds to pick me up with little effort >flash forward a few days latter on my knees in skirt and thigh highs giving him a bj >huh guess that has happened now View Thread
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)23:23:24 No.872197191 >be me 5.6 skinny long hair bi curious >talking with friend about our jobs >he is a farmer and built like a unit >he makes fun of me and says my job isn't masculine >i make a joke saying that if isn't masculine then how comes he 7 KB JPG cant pick me up >he then proceeds to pick me up with little effort >flash forward a few days latter on my knees in skirt and thigh highs giving him a bj >huh guess that has happened now View Thread

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Anon learns french | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:26:27 No.805334169 >Be me >meet french cutie3.14 >decide to spend every afternoon learning french so I can talk to her in french >spending 2-3 hours a day doing french >atfer 8 months become conversational 16 KB PNG >timetomakeamove.exe >... >she gets a boyfriend >... >the boyfriend doesn't know any french at all >mfw I wasted 2 hours x 30 x 8 = 480 hours just to get cucked : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:27:55 No.805334231 >>805334169 (OP) # not only that, you learned a gay language, congrats frggot. >>805334699 # >>805334992 #
: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:26:27 No.805334169 >Be me >meet french cutie3.14 >decide to spend every afternoon learning french so I can talk to her in french >spending 2-3 hours a day doing french >atfer 8 months become conversational 16 KB PNG >timetomakeamove.exe >... >she gets a boyfriend >... >the boyfriend doesn't know any french at all >mfw I wasted 2 hours x 30 x 8 = 480 hours just to get cucked : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:27:55 No.805334231 >>805334169 (OP) # not only that, you learned a gay language, congrats frggot. >>805334699 # >>805334992 #

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Anon is a loser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)12:29:27 No.872178039 I still think about this to this day and wonder if I am a loser >5 years ago >play tennis in high school >junior year >we finished up a match 3 KB PNG >coach says we're going to go to McDonald's >arrive there >everyone buys burgers or fillets >order 10 piece mcnuggets >chadfag asks what I ordered >"uh... I bought mcnuggets" >he starts laughing his ass off >"HEY GUYS, ANON BOUGHT MCNUGGETS" >whole team starts laughing at me >start crying I don't understand it, what is so wrong with ordering mcnuggets? Am I a f------ loser for this?
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)12:29:27 No.872178039 I still think about this to this day and wonder if I am a loser >5 years ago >play tennis in high school >junior year >we finished up a match 3 KB PNG >coach says we're going to go to McDonald's >arrive there >everyone buys burgers or fillets >order 10 piece mcnuggets >chadfag asks what I ordered >"uh... I bought mcnuggets" >he starts laughing his ass off >"HEY GUYS, ANON BOUGHT MCNUGGETS" >whole team starts laughing at me >start crying I don't understand it, what is so wrong with ordering mcnuggets? Am I a f------ loser for this?

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Just saw this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am
Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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anon is a shitter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)08:24:36 No.67298541 >be me >be 16 >get sick and head to a doctor to get checked out >get sent to a diagnostics lab for some tests 7 KB PNG >get handed a plastic container >go to the toilet >no idea what should go in there >s--- in container >hand the container to the technicians there >everyone starts to show the container to the other and laugh hysterically >no clue why >be me today >9 years later >realize I had to piss in that container after watching a youtube video I've always been retarded
: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)08:24:36 No.67298541 >be me >be 16 >get sick and head to a doctor to get checked out >get sent to a diagnostics lab for some tests 7 KB PNG >get handed a plastic container >go to the toilet >no idea what should go in there >s--- in container >hand the container to the technicians there >everyone starts to show the container to the other and laugh hysterically >no clue why >be me today >9 years later >realize I had to piss in that container after watching a youtube video I've always been retarded

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Anon is sad AF | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)18:38:40 No.48926795 >Having a gender norm lesson in school >Supposed to write about how boys are and how girls are up on the wall >Girls start writing empowering s--- on their wall, while smearing 35 KB JPG the boys >Boys are trash >Boys f--- around >Boys are dumb >On and on >l write "Boys are stoic" on the wall to prove a point >One writes "Boys are disposable" while giggling >The girls start laughing That's just f------ cruel.
: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)18:38:40 No.48926795 >Having a gender norm lesson in school >Supposed to write about how boys are and how girls are up on the wall >Girls start writing empowering s--- on their wall, while smearing 35 KB JPG the boys >Boys are trash >Boys f--- around >Boys are dumb >On and on >l write "Boys are stoic" on the wall to prove a point >One writes "Boys are disposable" while giggling >The girls start laughing That's just f------ cruel.

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Anon is an asshole | /r/Greentext


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Anon celebrates Black History | /r/Greentext


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anon is edge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)06:22:44 No.871348238 >It's 8th grade >Someone made the twin towers out of paper and carboard for a history project >Start throwing paper airplanes at it >Get detention for "improper behavior" F--- you teach, that s--- was funny and you know it! 6 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)06:22:44 No.871348238 >It's 8th grade >Someone made the twin towers out of paper and carboard for a history project >Start throwing paper airplanes at it >Get detention for "improper behavior" F--- you teach, that s--- was funny and you know it! 6 KB JPG

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Anon gets cheated on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me >decide to make a fake 36 KB JPG account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me
: Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me >decide to make a fake 36 KB JPG account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me

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Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.
: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

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Anon goes on tinder | /r/Greentext

>be me, kissless virgin >sister says to try tinder >decide to yolo it >ff 2 days >newmatch.iso >feeling ecstatic for potential gf >mfw it's my sister 83 KB JPG What do /b/ ?
>be me, kissless virgin >sister says to try tinder >decide to yolo it >ff 2 days >newmatch.iso >feeling ecstatic for potential gf >mfw it's my sister 83 KB JPG What do /b/ ?

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Anon finds a cheat code | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6ZaEqLP/) 02/02/22(Wed)14:33:23 No.46149615 >Get job with sick leave >After the first day call in sick use up all sick leave >Collect pay >Quit the day after your sick leave is finished >Rinse and repeat 24 KB JPG Why aren't you doing this /biz/? It's literally free money
: Anonymous (ID: 6ZaEqLP/) 02/02/22(Wed)14:33:23 No.46149615 >Get job with sick leave >After the first day call in sick use up all sick leave >Collect pay >Quit the day after your sick leave is finished >Rinse and repeat 24 KB JPG Why aren't you doing this /biz/? It's literally free money

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Anon turns 30 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)02:56:29 No.872154883 gettyimages-944359454.jpg 1.09 MB JPG >be me >was 23 >coworker telling story about sharting himself >laugh >say it will never be me >he says I'm wrong wait until I'm 30 >be me >30th birthday >have to rip fart >shart >literally s--- myself the day of my 30th birthday
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)02:56:29 No.872154883 gettyimages-944359454.jpg 1.09 MB JPG >be me >was 23 >coworker telling story about sharting himself >laugh >say it will never be me >he says I'm wrong wait until I'm 30 >be me >30th birthday >have to rip fart >shart >literally s--- myself the day of my 30th birthday

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