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Anon learns french | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:26:27 No.805334169 >Be me >meet french cutie3.14 >decide to spend every afternoon learning french so I can talk to her in french >spending 2-3 hours a day doing french >atfer 8 months become conversational 16 KB PNG >timetomakeamove.exe >... >she gets a boyfriend >... >the boyfriend doesn't know any french at all >mfw I wasted 2 hours x 30 x 8 = 480 hours just to get cucked : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:27:55 No.805334231 >>805334169 (OP) # not only that, you learned a gay language, congrats frggot. >>805334699 # >>805334992 #
: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:26:27 No.805334169 >Be me >meet french cutie3.14 >decide to spend every afternoon learning french so I can talk to her in french >spending 2-3 hours a day doing french >atfer 8 months become conversational 16 KB PNG >timetomakeamove.exe >... >she gets a boyfriend >... >the boyfriend doesn't know any french at all >mfw I wasted 2 hours x 30 x 8 = 480 hours just to get cucked : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:27:55 No.805334231 >>805334169 (OP) # not only that, you learned a gay language, congrats frggot. >>805334699 # >>805334992 #

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Anon is a loser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)12:29:27 No.872178039 I still think about this to this day and wonder if I am a loser >5 years ago >play tennis in high school >junior year >we finished up a match 3 KB PNG >coach says we're going to go to McDonald's >arrive there >everyone buys burgers or fillets >order 10 piece mcnuggets >chadfag asks what I ordered >"uh... I bought mcnuggets" >he starts laughing his ass off >"HEY GUYS, ANON BOUGHT MCNUGGETS" >whole team starts laughing at me >start crying I don't understand it, what is so wrong with ordering mcnuggets? Am I a f------ loser for this?
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)12:29:27 No.872178039 I still think about this to this day and wonder if I am a loser >5 years ago >play tennis in high school >junior year >we finished up a match 3 KB PNG >coach says we're going to go to McDonald's >arrive there >everyone buys burgers or fillets >order 10 piece mcnuggets >chadfag asks what I ordered >"uh... I bought mcnuggets" >he starts laughing his ass off >"HEY GUYS, ANON BOUGHT MCNUGGETS" >whole team starts laughing at me >start crying I don't understand it, what is so wrong with ordering mcnuggets? Am I a f------ loser for this?

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Just saw this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am
Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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anon is a shitter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)08:24:36 No.67298541 >be me >be 16 >get sick and head to a doctor to get checked out >get sent to a diagnostics lab for some tests 7 KB PNG >get handed a plastic container >go to the toilet >no idea what should go in there >s--- in container >hand the container to the technicians there >everyone starts to show the container to the other and laugh hysterically >no clue why >be me today >9 years later >realize I had to piss in that container after watching a youtube video I've always been retarded
: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)08:24:36 No.67298541 >be me >be 16 >get sick and head to a doctor to get checked out >get sent to a diagnostics lab for some tests 7 KB PNG >get handed a plastic container >go to the toilet >no idea what should go in there >s--- in container >hand the container to the technicians there >everyone starts to show the container to the other and laugh hysterically >no clue why >be me today >9 years later >realize I had to piss in that container after watching a youtube video I've always been retarded

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Anon is sad AF | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)18:38:40 No.48926795 >Having a gender norm lesson in school >Supposed to write about how boys are and how girls are up on the wall >Girls start writing empowering s--- on their wall, while smearing 35 KB JPG the boys >Boys are trash >Boys f--- around >Boys are dumb >On and on >l write "Boys are stoic" on the wall to prove a point >One writes "Boys are disposable" while giggling >The girls start laughing That's just f------ cruel.
: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)18:38:40 No.48926795 >Having a gender norm lesson in school >Supposed to write about how boys are and how girls are up on the wall >Girls start writing empowering s--- on their wall, while smearing 35 KB JPG the boys >Boys are trash >Boys f--- around >Boys are dumb >On and on >l write "Boys are stoic" on the wall to prove a point >One writes "Boys are disposable" while giggling >The girls start laughing That's just f------ cruel.

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Anon is an asshole | /r/Greentext


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Anon celebrates Black History | /r/Greentext


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anon is edge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)06:22:44 No.871348238 >It's 8th grade >Someone made the twin towers out of paper and carboard for a history project >Start throwing paper airplanes at it >Get detention for "improper behavior" F--- you teach, that s--- was funny and you know it! 6 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)06:22:44 No.871348238 >It's 8th grade >Someone made the twin towers out of paper and carboard for a history project >Start throwing paper airplanes at it >Get detention for "improper behavior" F--- you teach, that s--- was funny and you know it! 6 KB JPG

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Anon gets cheated on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me >decide to make a fake 36 KB JPG account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me
: Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me >decide to make a fake 36 KB JPG account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me

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Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.
: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

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Anon goes on tinder | /r/Greentext

>be me, kissless virgin >sister says to try tinder >decide to yolo it >ff 2 days >newmatch.iso >feeling ecstatic for potential gf >mfw it's my sister 83 KB JPG What do /b/ ?
>be me, kissless virgin >sister says to try tinder >decide to yolo it >ff 2 days >newmatch.iso >feeling ecstatic for potential gf >mfw it's my sister 83 KB JPG What do /b/ ?

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Anon finds a cheat code | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6ZaEqLP/) 02/02/22(Wed)14:33:23 No.46149615 >Get job with sick leave >After the first day call in sick use up all sick leave >Collect pay >Quit the day after your sick leave is finished >Rinse and repeat 24 KB JPG Why aren't you doing this /biz/? It's literally free money
: Anonymous (ID: 6ZaEqLP/) 02/02/22(Wed)14:33:23 No.46149615 >Get job with sick leave >After the first day call in sick use up all sick leave >Collect pay >Quit the day after your sick leave is finished >Rinse and repeat 24 KB JPG Why aren't you doing this /biz/? It's literally free money

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Anon turns 30 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)02:56:29 No.872154883 gettyimages-944359454.jpg 1.09 MB JPG >be me >was 23 >coworker telling story about sharting himself >laugh >say it will never be me >he says I'm wrong wait until I'm 30 >be me >30th birthday >have to rip fart >shart >literally s--- myself the day of my 30th birthday
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)02:56:29 No.872154883 gettyimages-944359454.jpg 1.09 MB JPG >be me >was 23 >coworker telling story about sharting himself >laugh >say it will never be me >he says I'm wrong wait until I'm 30 >be me >30th birthday >have to rip fart >shart >literally s--- myself the day of my 30th birthday

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Anon gets angry and kills someone | /r/Greentext

IDS HABIDDING >be Serbian >buy a gun >notice some f----- riding around in his car with the TR MIKI 307 KB JPG top down >he has the gayest mustache i've ever seen >empty mag of .32 into the f------ degenerate >Austrians are p----- for some reason >every nation in Europe is gearing up for war >just because i shot some h--- >millions of people die
IDS HABIDDING >be Serbian >buy a gun >notice some f----- riding around in his car with the TR MIKI 307 KB JPG top down >he has the gayest mustache i've ever seen >empty mag of .32 into the f------ degenerate >Austrians are p----- for some reason >every nation in Europe is gearing up for war >just because i shot some h--- >millions of people die

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Anon wants their back blown out by a hot Marxist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NZOARIV O MUSIC 06/14/21(Mon)14:15:49 No.325895048 hasandpiker COVID-19 Vaccination Record Card CDC Moderna z TAS Screenshot 20210614-184044~2.png 1.09 MB PNG Ok /pol/ We too need a chad-looking right wing speaker like this f----- to redpill zoomers. Almost every girl I know watches this socialist f--. View Thread 12 Replies / 1 Image ...
: Anonymous (ID: NZOARIV O MUSIC 06/14/21(Mon)14:15:49 No.325895048 hasandpiker COVID-19 Vaccination Record Card CDC Moderna z TAS Screenshot 20210614-184044~2.png 1.09 MB PNG Ok /pol/ We too need a chad-looking right wing speaker like this f----- to redpill zoomers. Almost every girl I know watches this socialist f--. View Thread 12 Replies / 1 Image ...

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Anon bakes a cake | /r/Greentext

File: 1615102934985.png (115 KB, 640x646) Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)20:29:00 No.872139250 >5 years ago >i just turned 16 >parents are having a birthday party for me >they want me to bake the cake >i say yes >start making cake >get random boner >im home alone so i dont even bother going to the bathroom >j------- in the kitchen >blow massive load into cake batter >pretend its egg whites and mix it in >bake my j--- cake for the party ffw to party >about 5-6 friends came over, one was a girl >all brought cool presents >i wanted to have cake quickly so people wouldnt notice the smell of baked semen >finally we get to the cake >somebody notices a weird smell >i say its just the stinky friend cause he came over >my parents start cutting slices of my signature c-- cake >my friends all take a bite >they like it, one even said the texture is impeccable >party continues like nothing happened >im never caught >now every time i call my friends jizzgarglers its the truth and that, fellow /b/tards is how to troll your friends
File: 1615102934985.png (115 KB, 640x646) Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)20:29:00 No.872139250 >5 years ago >i just turned 16 >parents are having a birthday party for me >they want me to bake the cake >i say yes >start making cake >get random boner >im home alone so i dont even bother going to the bathroom >j------- in the kitchen >blow massive load into cake batter >pretend its egg whites and mix it in >bake my j--- cake for the party ffw to party >about 5-6 friends came over, one was a girl >all brought cool presents >i wanted to have cake quickly so people wouldnt notice the smell of baked semen >finally we get to the cake >somebody notices a weird smell >i say its just the stinky friend cause he came over >my parents start cutting slices of my signature c-- cake >my friends all take a bite >they like it, one even said the texture is impeccable >party continues like nothing happened >im never caught >now every time i call my friends jizzgarglers its the truth and that, fellow /b/tards is how to troll your friends

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Anon lives in New York | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No.683368161 >be me >20 >walking around Brooklyn >new to the city >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs 6 KB JPG >BADDA BING > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw
: Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No.683368161 >be me >20 >walking around Brooklyn >new to the city >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs 6 KB JPG >BADDA BING > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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Anon goes to Mexico | /r/Greentext

1. #766898005 4/25/18, 8:11 PM >be me, in mexico to visit friends >not my first rodeo, pickpockets beware >cut hole in pocket, slip d--- in hole >take public transport, wait for my mark >there he is, punk w/ sticky fingers >make myself an easy mark, not too obvious >few minutes later, kid tries to lift wallet, touches penis >he knows it, i know it >my face as he looks at me with disqust and he gets off the next step Mexico is a great place
1. #766898005 4/25/18, 8:11 PM >be me, in mexico to visit friends >not my first rodeo, pickpockets beware >cut hole in pocket, slip d--- in hole >take public transport, wait for my mark >there he is, punk w/ sticky fingers >make myself an easy mark, not too obvious >few minutes later, kid tries to lift wallet, touches penis >he knows it, i know it >my face as he looks at me with disqust and he gets off the next step Mexico is a great place

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anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/19(Fri)20:46:58 No.790932821 >be me >"depressed" 12 year old >decide i want to kill myself >family planning to go to the beach >prepare my final plan >get to beach 23 KB JPG >go inside water >scream "goodbye forever" >throw AA battery into the sea >mfw still alive >everybody laughing at me for being retarded >mfw I'm probably retarded
: Anonymous 01/25/19(Fri)20:46:58 No.790932821 >be me >"depressed" 12 year old >decide i want to kill myself >family planning to go to the beach >prepare my final plan >get to beach 23 KB JPG >go inside water >scream "goodbye forever" >throw AA battery into the sea >mfw still alive >everybody laughing at me for being retarded >mfw I'm probably retarded

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Anon discovers his sexuality | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 47299147 22 min ago •0• >start lifting for girls >now paying more attention to men, male looks and masculinity >even when watching p--- F--- you /fit/ 289.9 kB PNG 7 REPLIES 10 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 47299158 21 min ago •0• >>47299147 (OP) We got another one lads 1 REPLY 72.4 kB JPG
Anonymous | 47299147 22 min ago •0• >start lifting for girls >now paying more attention to men, male looks and masculinity >even when watching p--- F--- you /fit/ 289.9 kB PNG 7 REPLIES 10 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 47299158 21 min ago •0• >>47299147 (OP) We got another one lads 1 REPLY 72.4 kB JPG

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