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Anon admires the beautiful Eclipse | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/24/12(Thu)08:10:11 No.2545562 >be at party >9/10 checking me out >dance with her >stare in eyes >shes got moon earrings >F--- JUST REMEMBERED >run out of party >drive home >spend whole night checking out lunar eclipse >no regrets
O Anonymous 05/24/12(Thu)08:10:11 No.2545562 >be at party >9/10 checking me out >dance with her >stare in eyes >shes got moon earrings >F--- JUST REMEMBERED >run out of party >drive home >spend whole night checking out lunar eclipse >no regrets

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Anon’s day so far | /r/Greentext

>Be me, make plans to be super productive tomorrow on my day off >Go to bed >Wake up, fap to p--- >Fall back asleep, fap again >Play vidya games >Take break to fap >Write this Greentext, while waiting for game to load 27 KB JPG >I will fap again
>Be me, make plans to be super productive tomorrow on my day off >Go to bed >Wake up, fap to p--- >Fall back asleep, fap again >Play vidya games >Take break to fap >Write this Greentext, while waiting for game to load 27 KB JPG >I will fap again

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Anon plays uno | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)18:47:08 No.144971906 UNO person-uno.png 103 KB PNG >"Nice play Mr. Bond, however you did not announce you were almost finished, so now you are two cards further from victory."
: Anonymous 01/11/21(Mon)18:47:08 No.144971906 UNO person-uno.png 103 KB PNG >"Nice play Mr. Bond, however you did not announce you were almost finished, so now you are two cards further from victory."

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/15(Wed)13:45:14 No.622330744 Retarded stories thread >be me >be in first grade >taking test >teacher tells us if we can't do a problem, put a smile face 100 KB JPG >middle of test >look up at teacher >smile as hard as I can >hold smile for a solid 2 mins >mfw placed into special Ed next week
: Anonymous 06/17/15(Wed)13:45:14 No.622330744 Retarded stories thread >be me >be in first grade >taking test >teacher tells us if we can't do a problem, put a smile face 100 KB JPG >middle of test >look up at teacher >smile as hard as I can >hold smile for a solid 2 mins >mfw placed into special Ed next week

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found in r/kanye | /r/Greentext

>kanye west replaces zayn in one direction >kanye kicks everyone out of the band >"there's only one direction 51 KB JPG fam" >ffw it's west
>kanye west replaces zayn in one direction >kanye kicks everyone out of the band >"there's only one direction 51 KB JPG fam" >ffw it's west

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Anon is an art teacher | /r/Greentext

>be me, a failed artist and an art teacher >all failed artists end up as art teachers >spend the days judging the drawings of teenagers >spend the nights getting drunk 156 KB JPG on box wine >some of these kids are good, some don't give a f--- >it's the passionate ones I feel bad for, reality has not hit them yet >As you are now so once was I >As I am now so shall you be >they all think they're going to be the one who makes it, the one who thinks they'll be a real artist, instead of an art teacher >HIFW I am raising them like pigs for slaughter
>be me, a failed artist and an art teacher >all failed artists end up as art teachers >spend the days judging the drawings of teenagers >spend the nights getting drunk 156 KB JPG on box wine >some of these kids are good, some don't give a f--- >it's the passionate ones I feel bad for, reality has not hit them yet >As you are now so once was I >As I am now so shall you be >they all think they're going to be the one who makes it, the one who thinks they'll be a real artist, instead of an art teacher >HIFW I am raising them like pigs for slaughter

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Golden Wings | /r/Greentext

No.47077350 46 minutes ago gold-chicken-wings-embed-xl-blog0418 (2).jpg JPG 62.9 KiB 750x464 >be me >poor as hell >want golden wings from nyc >pic related >mfw when they're 1000$ >idea >kill over 10 people >get caught >be put on death row >prison guard comes to my cell >"what would you like for your last meal, anon?" >"golden dipped wings from nyc" >mfwI cucked the system for 1000$ wings
No.47077350 46 minutes ago gold-chicken-wings-embed-xl-blog0418 (2).jpg JPG 62.9 KiB 750x464 >be me >poor as hell >want golden wings from nyc >pic related >mfw when they're 1000$ >idea >kill over 10 people >get caught >be put on death row >prison guard comes to my cell >"what would you like for your last meal, anon?" >"golden dipped wings from nyc" >mfwI cucked the system for 1000$ wings

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/18(Tue)07:36:39 No.49124935 >target bathroom cause surprise s--- >dropped multiple logs, and don't feel close to finished >stall next to me seems to be having similar troubles >or at least, that's what all those 765 KB PNG grunting, panting, and leg spasms are telling me >suddenly see their hand slide underneath the stall, beckoning for something >mfw >don't understand what it wants >so I simply squat over it, and dropped a hot, steaming log >"WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!?!?!?" >he flips out; shaking and banging on the walls like he's having a seizure >won't stop screaming, also >he finally kicks his stall door open, and runs off like he found a ghost >mfw still >it wasn't until I got home, did I realize he was beckoning for another roll toilet paper I'm so f------ retarded. 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 11/06/18(Tue)07:36:39 No.49124935 >target bathroom cause surprise s--- >dropped multiple logs, and don't feel close to finished >stall next to me seems to be having similar troubles >or at least, that's what all those 765 KB PNG grunting, panting, and leg spasms are telling me >suddenly see their hand slide underneath the stall, beckoning for something >mfw >don't understand what it wants >so I simply squat over it, and dropped a hot, steaming log >"WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!?!?!?" >he flips out; shaking and banging on the walls like he's having a seizure >won't stop screaming, also >he finally kicks his stall door open, and runs off like he found a ghost >mfw still >it wasn't until I got home, did I realize he was beckoning for another roll toilet paper I'm so f------ retarded. 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is irish | /r/Greentext

: IrishAnon (ID: SJ4X/wJN) II ireland 11/10/18(Sat)12:44:03 No.6868544 >be me >irish 15 yo >get home from school >get drunk >go to work drunk >later that night impregnate a 9 KB JPG random femanon >ireland bitch >see ya later
: IrishAnon (ID: SJ4X/wJN) II ireland 11/10/18(Sat)12:44:03 No.6868544 >be me >irish 15 yo >get home from school >get drunk >go to work drunk >later that night impregnate a 9 KB JPG random femanon >ireland bitch >see ya later

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Anon watches game of thrones | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: RBA6ZHLX) * 07/16/19(Tue)20:39:14 No.219671854 v >>219672009 >>219672036 >>219672100 >>219672237 >>219673135 >>219673226 >>219674567 >>219675130 1445054120749.jpg (8 KB, 210x251) google yandex igdb wait >watching game of thrones with parents and older sister last week >episode 1 >m----- sex scene with naked ladies >sister shouts "anon, look away!" >ask why >"aren't you still a virgin?" >family giggles >i----- scene comes up >try to be funny and say "see, you could help me with that sis!" >complete silence for a minute >sister gets incredibly offended and awkward >mom gets angry >dad screams "what the f--- is wrong with you?" >go to my room and cry
Anonymous (ID: RBA6ZHLX) * 07/16/19(Tue)20:39:14 No.219671854 v >>219672009 >>219672036 >>219672100 >>219672237 >>219673135 >>219673226 >>219674567 >>219675130 1445054120749.jpg (8 KB, 210x251) google yandex igdb wait >watching game of thrones with parents and older sister last week >episode 1 >m----- sex scene with naked ladies >sister shouts "anon, look away!" >ask why >"aren't you still a virgin?" >family giggles >i----- scene comes up >try to be funny and say "see, you could help me with that sis!" >complete silence for a minute >sister gets incredibly offended and awkward >mom gets angry >dad screams "what the f--- is wrong with you?" >go to my room and cry

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anon doesnt understand chess | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/19(Mon)21:50:45 No.52180393 >>52178655 (OP) # >opponent moves piece >move piece to block their move >opponent moves piece to block Hurr Durr Durr Durri your move 44 KB JPG >you move piece to block their move >lose because you didn't go first what the f--- is the point of this >>52180488 #
: Anonymous 04/29/19(Mon)21:50:45 No.52180393 >>52178655 (OP) # >opponent moves piece >move piece to block their move >opponent moves piece to block Hurr Durr Durr Durri your move 44 KB JPG >you move piece to block their move >lose because you didn't go first what the f--- is the point of this >>52180488 #

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Anon believes the science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/22(Mon)04:35:16 No.872222512 PinkNews Not assuming gender based on Tooks Sticking up for trans people even when they aren't in the room CHER Respecting pronouns Standing in solldarity HOW TO BE A TRANS ALLY images.jpg 9 KB JPG >best way to piss off the "they/them" nonbinary trans vex whatever the f--- crowds >ask them their opinion on science versus God and what they belive >when they say they back science 100% tell them that science says there's only 2 biological genders and there's more scientific evidence that events in the Bible actually took place then there is for their made up genders >they will either make up some unproven b------- or go immediately back on their word >enjoy pissing people off Anons
: Anonymous 02/07/22(Mon)04:35:16 No.872222512 PinkNews Not assuming gender based on Tooks Sticking up for trans people even when they aren't in the room CHER Respecting pronouns Standing in solldarity HOW TO BE A TRANS ALLY images.jpg 9 KB JPG >best way to piss off the "they/them" nonbinary trans vex whatever the f--- crowds >ask them their opinion on science versus God and what they belive >when they say they back science 100% tell them that science says there's only 2 biological genders and there's more scientific evidence that events in the Bible actually took place then there is for their made up genders >they will either make up some unproven b------- or go immediately back on their word >enjoy pissing people off Anons

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Anon uses deepfake | /r/Greentext

>be me >only with my dad and younger brother >mom died in a pretty horrific car crash accident, when one of the local drunks crashed into her >most people in town know that mom died this way 50 KB JPG enough of the background story lets go >brother gets home from school pretty angry >father asks what wrong with him, says its nothing >know that something isnt right and keep digging >after a few attempts he opens up and says that one kid at school keeps bullieng him about our moms death and that she desverd it and some immature stuff like that >tells me that he doesnt wanna tell, because he will just get sad >ask him the name of kid and he relucantly gives it to me >l go into my room and search the kid online >find his instagram >idea.jpg >he has a lot of pictures online in different positions and with differnt expressions >deepfake his face onto a few pron scenes and send it to his friends and family >mfw when his family decides to send their kid to a boarding school
>be me >only with my dad and younger brother >mom died in a pretty horrific car crash accident, when one of the local drunks crashed into her >most people in town know that mom died this way 50 KB JPG enough of the background story lets go >brother gets home from school pretty angry >father asks what wrong with him, says its nothing >know that something isnt right and keep digging >after a few attempts he opens up and says that one kid at school keeps bullieng him about our moms death and that she desverd it and some immature stuff like that >tells me that he doesnt wanna tell, because he will just get sad >ask him the name of kid and he relucantly gives it to me >l go into my room and search the kid online >find his instagram >idea.jpg >he has a lot of pictures online in different positions and with differnt expressions >deepfake his face onto a few pron scenes and send it to his friends and family >mfw when his family decides to send their kid to a boarding school

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Anon forgets to eco | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Be me 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771 >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" 115 KB JPG >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him instead >Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet
: Anonymous Be me 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771 >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" 115 KB JPG >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him instead >Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet

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Anon aces Latin 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)21:51:08 No.48779881 >be me, 14 year old Asian >be in grade 10 >have Latin 2 >only 18 Latin kids per grade >all Latin student get taught by the same teacher 5 KB JPG >my job is to set up the projector and laptop for class. >teacher trusts me because Asian >teacher is 80 years old >she can't see or hear s--- >we literally pull out the textbook during the tests and the teacher doesn't notice >everyone has As in the class >parents happy >Suddenly, the teacher leaves to get knee surgery >substitute who everyone hates covers for 2 months >realize she can see more that 5 feet away >f--- we actually have to study >first test comes >get a 70 >parents beat me >the whole class agrees that we need a grade booster >we make a plan >1 week later we have to give presentations >homie says he has his presentation on his flash drive >l go to the front of the room to set up the projector >take longer than usual >classmate in the back asking the substitute a grammar question >She distracted af >meanwhile, homie is searching up tests and quizzes on teacher's laptop and copying it onto the flashdrive >hellyeah.jpg >turn on the projector and start up presentation >homie gets a 100 on presentation >teacher doesn't suspect anything >after school, the files are shared online >we realize homie got the tests and quizzes for the next three years >mfw
: Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)21:51:08 No.48779881 >be me, 14 year old Asian >be in grade 10 >have Latin 2 >only 18 Latin kids per grade >all Latin student get taught by the same teacher 5 KB JPG >my job is to set up the projector and laptop for class. >teacher trusts me because Asian >teacher is 80 years old >she can't see or hear s--- >we literally pull out the textbook during the tests and the teacher doesn't notice >everyone has As in the class >parents happy >Suddenly, the teacher leaves to get knee surgery >substitute who everyone hates covers for 2 months >realize she can see more that 5 feet away >f--- we actually have to study >first test comes >get a 70 >parents beat me >the whole class agrees that we need a grade booster >we make a plan >1 week later we have to give presentations >homie says he has his presentation on his flash drive >l go to the front of the room to set up the projector >take longer than usual >classmate in the back asking the substitute a grammar question >She distracted af >meanwhile, homie is searching up tests and quizzes on teacher's laptop and copying it onto the flashdrive >hellyeah.jpg >turn on the projector and start up presentation >homie gets a 100 on presentation >teacher doesn't suspect anything >after school, the files are shared online >we realize homie got the tests and quizzes for the next three years >mfw

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Anon is disgusted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 47758382 >Be furry artist >Make about 250 dollars each commission and it takes me 3 days to do one. >Patreon is getting me over 4k a month just to post my commissions there. >Not even that well known yet. >Vommit about 5-6 times while making each commission because I find furries f------ disgusting. >Get some really f------ disgusting commissions like tigers s------- on the heads of wolf men while a horse masturbates in the corner. Charged over 500 dollars for that and the guy actually f------ paid upfront. >lf I do regular art I won't even make a 1/5 of what I am currently making. >Can't handle real jobs I hate my life. 2 REPLIES
Anonymous 1 hour ago 47758382 >Be furry artist >Make about 250 dollars each commission and it takes me 3 days to do one. >Patreon is getting me over 4k a month just to post my commissions there. >Not even that well known yet. >Vommit about 5-6 times while making each commission because I find furries f------ disgusting. >Get some really f------ disgusting commissions like tigers s------- on the heads of wolf men while a horse masturbates in the corner. Charged over 500 dollars for that and the guy actually f------ paid upfront. >lf I do regular art I won't even make a 1/5 of what I am currently making. >Can't handle real jobs I hate my life. 2 REPLIES

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Need for neet | /r/Greentext


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Anons teacher is prego | /r/Greentext


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Anon plays with a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/20(Mon)09:58:35 No.820407755 what do you think about hitting your kid? >friend and were playing fallout 76 >heard his daughter crying in background >he said "one sec" 8 KB JPG >heared a brutal smack >sounded like he summoned the strength of zeus to smack the ever living s--- out of her >shes cried even louder >more smacks >silence >he got back on the mic Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
: Anonymous 02/10/20(Mon)09:58:35 No.820407755 what do you think about hitting your kid? >friend and were playing fallout 76 >heard his daughter crying in background >he said "one sec" 8 KB JPG >heared a brutal smack >sounded like he summoned the strength of zeus to smack the ever living s--- out of her >shes cried even louder >more smacks >silence >he got back on the mic Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

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Anon plays Fortnite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:56:29 No.782835429 I'll start >be me >playing Fortnite like a normfag >play a squad fill game cause I have no friends 27 KB JPG >get in a game with a third grader and a wannabe ninja >wannabe ninja starts screaming at kid for saying "hey noskin, do you have any minis" >Il defend the kid >Kid says thanks and adds me >Play for a bit >He tells me l'm the nicest person he's met >He tells me l'm his best friend >I realize I feel the same way mfw my best friend is a third grader 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:58:46 No.782835590 >playing Fortnite didnt read the rest, f--- you anon >>782835790 #
: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:56:29 No.782835429 I'll start >be me >playing Fortnite like a normfag >play a squad fill game cause I have no friends 27 KB JPG >get in a game with a third grader and a wannabe ninja >wannabe ninja starts screaming at kid for saying "hey noskin, do you have any minis" >Il defend the kid >Kid says thanks and adds me >Play for a bit >He tells me l'm the nicest person he's met >He tells me l'm his best friend >I realize I feel the same way mfw my best friend is a third grader 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:58:46 No.782835590 >playing Fortnite didnt read the rest, f--- you anon >>782835790 #

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