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Golden Wings | /r/Greentext

No.47077350 46 minutes ago gold-chicken-wings-embed-xl-blog0418 (2).jpg JPG 62.9 KiB 750x464 >be me >poor as hell >want golden wings from nyc >pic related >mfw when they're 1000$ >idea >kill over 10 people >get caught >be put on death row >prison guard comes to my cell >"what would you like for your last meal, anon?" >"golden dipped wings from nyc" >mfwI cucked the system for 1000$ wings
No.47077350 46 minutes ago gold-chicken-wings-embed-xl-blog0418 (2).jpg JPG 62.9 KiB 750x464 >be me >poor as hell >want golden wings from nyc >pic related >mfw when they're 1000$ >idea >kill over 10 people >get caught >be put on death row >prison guard comes to my cell >"what would you like for your last meal, anon?" >"golden dipped wings from nyc" >mfwI cucked the system for 1000$ wings

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/18(Tue)07:36:39 No.49124935 >target bathroom cause surprise s--- >dropped multiple logs, and don't feel close to finished >stall next to me seems to be having similar troubles >or at least, that's what all those 765 KB PNG grunting, panting, and leg spasms are telling me >suddenly see their hand slide underneath the stall, beckoning for something >mfw >don't understand what it wants >so I simply squat over it, and dropped a hot, steaming log >"WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!?!?!?" >he flips out; shaking and banging on the walls like he's having a seizure >won't stop screaming, also >he finally kicks his stall door open, and runs off like he found a ghost >mfw still >it wasn't until I got home, did I realize he was beckoning for another roll toilet paper I'm so f------ retarded. 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 11/06/18(Tue)07:36:39 No.49124935 >target bathroom cause surprise s--- >dropped multiple logs, and don't feel close to finished >stall next to me seems to be having similar troubles >or at least, that's what all those 765 KB PNG grunting, panting, and leg spasms are telling me >suddenly see their hand slide underneath the stall, beckoning for something >mfw >don't understand what it wants >so I simply squat over it, and dropped a hot, steaming log >"WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!?!?!?" >he flips out; shaking and banging on the walls like he's having a seizure >won't stop screaming, also >he finally kicks his stall door open, and runs off like he found a ghost >mfw still >it wasn't until I got home, did I realize he was beckoning for another roll toilet paper I'm so f------ retarded. 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is irish | /r/Greentext

: IrishAnon (ID: SJ4X/wJN) II ireland 11/10/18(Sat)12:44:03 No.6868544 >be me >irish 15 yo >get home from school >get drunk >go to work drunk >later that night impregnate a 9 KB JPG random femanon >ireland bitch >see ya later
: IrishAnon (ID: SJ4X/wJN) II ireland 11/10/18(Sat)12:44:03 No.6868544 >be me >irish 15 yo >get home from school >get drunk >go to work drunk >later that night impregnate a 9 KB JPG random femanon >ireland bitch >see ya later

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Anon watches game of thrones | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: RBA6ZHLX) * 07/16/19(Tue)20:39:14 No.219671854 v >>219672009 >>219672036 >>219672100 >>219672237 >>219673135 >>219673226 >>219674567 >>219675130 1445054120749.jpg (8 KB, 210x251) google yandex igdb wait >watching game of thrones with parents and older sister last week >episode 1 >m----- sex scene with naked ladies >sister shouts "anon, look away!" >ask why >"aren't you still a virgin?" >family giggles >i----- scene comes up >try to be funny and say "see, you could help me with that sis!" >complete silence for a minute >sister gets incredibly offended and awkward >mom gets angry >dad screams "what the f--- is wrong with you?" >go to my room and cry
Anonymous (ID: RBA6ZHLX) * 07/16/19(Tue)20:39:14 No.219671854 v >>219672009 >>219672036 >>219672100 >>219672237 >>219673135 >>219673226 >>219674567 >>219675130 1445054120749.jpg (8 KB, 210x251) google yandex igdb wait >watching game of thrones with parents and older sister last week >episode 1 >m----- sex scene with naked ladies >sister shouts "anon, look away!" >ask why >"aren't you still a virgin?" >family giggles >i----- scene comes up >try to be funny and say "see, you could help me with that sis!" >complete silence for a minute >sister gets incredibly offended and awkward >mom gets angry >dad screams "what the f--- is wrong with you?" >go to my room and cry

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anon doesnt understand chess | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/19(Mon)21:50:45 No.52180393 >>52178655 (OP) # >opponent moves piece >move piece to block their move >opponent moves piece to block Hurr Durr Durr Durri your move 44 KB JPG >you move piece to block their move >lose because you didn't go first what the f--- is the point of this >>52180488 #
: Anonymous 04/29/19(Mon)21:50:45 No.52180393 >>52178655 (OP) # >opponent moves piece >move piece to block their move >opponent moves piece to block Hurr Durr Durr Durri your move 44 KB JPG >you move piece to block their move >lose because you didn't go first what the f--- is the point of this >>52180488 #

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Anon believes the science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/22(Mon)04:35:16 No.872222512 PinkNews Not assuming gender based on Tooks Sticking up for trans people even when they aren't in the room CHER Respecting pronouns Standing in solldarity HOW TO BE A TRANS ALLY images.jpg 9 KB JPG >best way to piss off the "they/them" nonbinary trans vex whatever the f--- crowds >ask them their opinion on science versus God and what they belive >when they say they back science 100% tell them that science says there's only 2 biological genders and there's more scientific evidence that events in the Bible actually took place then there is for their made up genders >they will either make up some unproven b------- or go immediately back on their word >enjoy pissing people off Anons
: Anonymous 02/07/22(Mon)04:35:16 No.872222512 PinkNews Not assuming gender based on Tooks Sticking up for trans people even when they aren't in the room CHER Respecting pronouns Standing in solldarity HOW TO BE A TRANS ALLY images.jpg 9 KB JPG >best way to piss off the "they/them" nonbinary trans vex whatever the f--- crowds >ask them their opinion on science versus God and what they belive >when they say they back science 100% tell them that science says there's only 2 biological genders and there's more scientific evidence that events in the Bible actually took place then there is for their made up genders >they will either make up some unproven b------- or go immediately back on their word >enjoy pissing people off Anons

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Anon uses deepfake | /r/Greentext

>be me >only with my dad and younger brother >mom died in a pretty horrific car crash accident, when one of the local drunks crashed into her >most people in town know that mom died this way 50 KB JPG enough of the background story lets go >brother gets home from school pretty angry >father asks what wrong with him, says its nothing >know that something isnt right and keep digging >after a few attempts he opens up and says that one kid at school keeps bullieng him about our moms death and that she desverd it and some immature stuff like that >tells me that he doesnt wanna tell, because he will just get sad >ask him the name of kid and he relucantly gives it to me >l go into my room and search the kid online >find his instagram >idea.jpg >he has a lot of pictures online in different positions and with differnt expressions >deepfake his face onto a few pron scenes and send it to his friends and family >mfw when his family decides to send their kid to a boarding school
>be me >only with my dad and younger brother >mom died in a pretty horrific car crash accident, when one of the local drunks crashed into her >most people in town know that mom died this way 50 KB JPG enough of the background story lets go >brother gets home from school pretty angry >father asks what wrong with him, says its nothing >know that something isnt right and keep digging >after a few attempts he opens up and says that one kid at school keeps bullieng him about our moms death and that she desverd it and some immature stuff like that >tells me that he doesnt wanna tell, because he will just get sad >ask him the name of kid and he relucantly gives it to me >l go into my room and search the kid online >find his instagram >idea.jpg >he has a lot of pictures online in different positions and with differnt expressions >deepfake his face onto a few pron scenes and send it to his friends and family >mfw when his family decides to send their kid to a boarding school

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Anon forgets to eco | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Be me 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771 >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" 115 KB JPG >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him instead >Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet
: Anonymous Be me 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771 >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" 115 KB JPG >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him instead >Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet

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Anon aces Latin 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)21:51:08 No.48779881 >be me, 14 year old Asian >be in grade 10 >have Latin 2 >only 18 Latin kids per grade >all Latin student get taught by the same teacher 5 KB JPG >my job is to set up the projector and laptop for class. >teacher trusts me because Asian >teacher is 80 years old >she can't see or hear s--- >we literally pull out the textbook during the tests and the teacher doesn't notice >everyone has As in the class >parents happy >Suddenly, the teacher leaves to get knee surgery >substitute who everyone hates covers for 2 months >realize she can see more that 5 feet away >f--- we actually have to study >first test comes >get a 70 >parents beat me >the whole class agrees that we need a grade booster >we make a plan >1 week later we have to give presentations >homie says he has his presentation on his flash drive >l go to the front of the room to set up the projector >take longer than usual >classmate in the back asking the substitute a grammar question >She distracted af >meanwhile, homie is searching up tests and quizzes on teacher's laptop and copying it onto the flashdrive >hellyeah.jpg >turn on the projector and start up presentation >homie gets a 100 on presentation >teacher doesn't suspect anything >after school, the files are shared online >we realize homie got the tests and quizzes for the next three years >mfw
: Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)21:51:08 No.48779881 >be me, 14 year old Asian >be in grade 10 >have Latin 2 >only 18 Latin kids per grade >all Latin student get taught by the same teacher 5 KB JPG >my job is to set up the projector and laptop for class. >teacher trusts me because Asian >teacher is 80 years old >she can't see or hear s--- >we literally pull out the textbook during the tests and the teacher doesn't notice >everyone has As in the class >parents happy >Suddenly, the teacher leaves to get knee surgery >substitute who everyone hates covers for 2 months >realize she can see more that 5 feet away >f--- we actually have to study >first test comes >get a 70 >parents beat me >the whole class agrees that we need a grade booster >we make a plan >1 week later we have to give presentations >homie says he has his presentation on his flash drive >l go to the front of the room to set up the projector >take longer than usual >classmate in the back asking the substitute a grammar question >She distracted af >meanwhile, homie is searching up tests and quizzes on teacher's laptop and copying it onto the flashdrive >hellyeah.jpg >turn on the projector and start up presentation >homie gets a 100 on presentation >teacher doesn't suspect anything >after school, the files are shared online >we realize homie got the tests and quizzes for the next three years >mfw

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Anon is disgusted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 47758382 >Be furry artist >Make about 250 dollars each commission and it takes me 3 days to do one. >Patreon is getting me over 4k a month just to post my commissions there. >Not even that well known yet. >Vommit about 5-6 times while making each commission because I find furries f------ disgusting. >Get some really f------ disgusting commissions like tigers s------- on the heads of wolf men while a horse masturbates in the corner. Charged over 500 dollars for that and the guy actually f------ paid upfront. >lf I do regular art I won't even make a 1/5 of what I am currently making. >Can't handle real jobs I hate my life. 2 REPLIES
Anonymous 1 hour ago 47758382 >Be furry artist >Make about 250 dollars each commission and it takes me 3 days to do one. >Patreon is getting me over 4k a month just to post my commissions there. >Not even that well known yet. >Vommit about 5-6 times while making each commission because I find furries f------ disgusting. >Get some really f------ disgusting commissions like tigers s------- on the heads of wolf men while a horse masturbates in the corner. Charged over 500 dollars for that and the guy actually f------ paid upfront. >lf I do regular art I won't even make a 1/5 of what I am currently making. >Can't handle real jobs I hate my life. 2 REPLIES

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Need for neet | /r/Greentext


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Anons teacher is prego | /r/Greentext


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Anon plays with a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/20(Mon)09:58:35 No.820407755 what do you think about hitting your kid? >friend and were playing fallout 76 >heard his daughter crying in background >he said "one sec" 8 KB JPG >heared a brutal smack >sounded like he summoned the strength of zeus to smack the ever living s--- out of her >shes cried even louder >more smacks >silence >he got back on the mic Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
: Anonymous 02/10/20(Mon)09:58:35 No.820407755 what do you think about hitting your kid? >friend and were playing fallout 76 >heard his daughter crying in background >he said "one sec" 8 KB JPG >heared a brutal smack >sounded like he summoned the strength of zeus to smack the ever living s--- out of her >shes cried even louder >more smacks >silence >he got back on the mic Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

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Anon plays Fortnite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:56:29 No.782835429 I'll start >be me >playing Fortnite like a normfag >play a squad fill game cause I have no friends 27 KB JPG >get in a game with a third grader and a wannabe ninja >wannabe ninja starts screaming at kid for saying "hey noskin, do you have any minis" >Il defend the kid >Kid says thanks and adds me >Play for a bit >He tells me l'm the nicest person he's met >He tells me l'm his best friend >I realize I feel the same way mfw my best friend is a third grader 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:58:46 No.782835590 >playing Fortnite didnt read the rest, f--- you anon >>782835790 #
: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:56:29 No.782835429 I'll start >be me >playing Fortnite like a normfag >play a squad fill game cause I have no friends 27 KB JPG >get in a game with a third grader and a wannabe ninja >wannabe ninja starts screaming at kid for saying "hey noskin, do you have any minis" >Il defend the kid >Kid says thanks and adds me >Play for a bit >He tells me l'm the nicest person he's met >He tells me l'm his best friend >I realize I feel the same way mfw my best friend is a third grader 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)16:58:46 No.782835590 >playing Fortnite didnt read the rest, f--- you anon >>782835790 #

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Anon smacks cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Destroyer of Cheese 11/12/18(Mon)07:59:47 No.49228702 >Be me >At lunch >Sit with weird friend group >The Smelly Tard starts making unoriginal jokes >Make fun of him for being a furry >He throws a piece of cheese at me 770 KB PNG >l f------ smack it straight out of the air >It hits a wall and slowly slides down leaving a greasy trail >Look at smelly tard friend in the eyes >Scream at the top of my lungs in a barbaric voice >"Get your god damn cheese out of here" >Teacher right behind me >MFW put in Special Ed.
: Anonymous Destroyer of Cheese 11/12/18(Mon)07:59:47 No.49228702 >Be me >At lunch >Sit with weird friend group >The Smelly Tard starts making unoriginal jokes >Make fun of him for being a furry >He throws a piece of cheese at me 770 KB PNG >l f------ smack it straight out of the air >It hits a wall and slowly slides down leaving a greasy trail >Look at smelly tard friend in the eyes >Scream at the top of my lungs in a barbaric voice >"Get your god damn cheese out of here" >Teacher right behind me >MFW put in Special Ed.

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Anon likes America | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/14/16(Wed) 19:11:11 No.703940657 >be me >recently moved because of job opportunity, no gf, no friends in town >every friday, order a pizza from local pizzahut >give delivery guy a different 21 KB JPG "challenge" every time they bring a pizza, with a large tip as a reward if they complete it >always make them america-related >start easy. draw an american flag for 54 >slowly make them more and more challenging, increasing reward as time goes on >"recite the preamble for 20$" >"tell me your personal opinion on the 2nd amendment for 10$" >etc etc >this goes on for a few months until pretty much every employee in the resturaunt that has done a delivery has at least attempted one of my challenges >yesterday, get in pretty bad car accident >wake up in hospital today. told by nurse that a few people came by to visit, mainly coworkers from job >some of them left a pizza >mfw there's a pizza on a table in the room of the same type that i always get >mfw it's got an american flag on it and a "get well soon" card with signatures from the entire restaurant staff
Anonymous 09/14/16(Wed) 19:11:11 No.703940657 >be me >recently moved because of job opportunity, no gf, no friends in town >every friday, order a pizza from local pizzahut >give delivery guy a different 21 KB JPG "challenge" every time they bring a pizza, with a large tip as a reward if they complete it >always make them america-related >start easy. draw an american flag for 54 >slowly make them more and more challenging, increasing reward as time goes on >"recite the preamble for 20$" >"tell me your personal opinion on the 2nd amendment for 10$" >etc etc >this goes on for a few months until pretty much every employee in the resturaunt that has done a delivery has at least attempted one of my challenges >yesterday, get in pretty bad car accident >wake up in hospital today. told by nurse that a few people came by to visit, mainly coworkers from job >some of them left a pizza >mfw there's a pizza on a table in the room of the same type that i always get >mfw it's got an american flag on it and a "get well soon" card with signatures from the entire restaurant staff

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Anon gives us a reminder | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 48592635 10 min ago •.. REMINDER IF YOU >have a job >have a gf >go to uni >have a degree >have lost your virginity 72.1 kB JPG you are a NORMALFAG. >b-b-b-bu sometimes I'm so0o awkward n sad :(i'm such a robot if you in any capacity can funciton in the real world. you are a normal person.
Anonymous 48592635 10 min ago •.. REMINDER IF YOU >have a job >have a gf >go to uni >have a degree >have lost your virginity 72.1 kB JPG you are a NORMALFAG. >b-b-b-bu sometimes I'm so0o awkward n sad :(i'm such a robot if you in any capacity can funciton in the real world. you are a normal person.

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Anon's hypothetical | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:47:23 No.872172463 Alright /B/, you've been targeted in the night by violent mercenaries, your identitys been confused with one that looks like you. What is your weapon of choice and why? 64 KB JPG >Pic related, it's mine: a colt python 50cal revolver, upgraded with reflex site for quicker target acquisition and an extended clip to take out more enemies before reload. : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:48:38 No.872172520 >>872172463 (OP)# I'm all for white boys being hunted down and being murdered in the night. Bump
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:47:23 No.872172463 Alright /B/, you've been targeted in the night by violent mercenaries, your identitys been confused with one that looks like you. What is your weapon of choice and why? 64 KB JPG >Pic related, it's mine: a colt python 50cal revolver, upgraded with reflex site for quicker target acquisition and an extended clip to take out more enemies before reload. : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:48:38 No.872172520 >>872172463 (OP)# I'm all for white boys being hunted down and being murdered in the night. Bump

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Anon is a teacher | /r/Greentext

> be me > 2nd grade teacher > got this one kid, let's call him Mikey > now Mikey has a problem > a daily f------ problem > heshitshimselfeachday.mp3 >I ask him each time if he needs to go and seemingly he just s---- himself whenever he needs to > I've told his mother countless times to fix it, but she's 19 KB PNG done f--- all > she is to blame > lazybitch.jpg > so I thought up a plan > afuckingapexpredatorofaplan.png >i give the kids free milk in the final 15 minutes of school > apart from in Mikeys I put a bit of laxatives > dontworryimadesureitwassafe.wav > so he'd s--- himself at home instead of here >I do this for a few weeks and sometimes lose my own gamble > sometimes I lose sight of why I gave him laxatives when I see it running down the chair > get petty and decided to double the amount > fuckhimandhisfamily.jpg > takes 4 days before he starts asking to go for a s--- > his house must've been f------ plastered for this development > his mother got pink eye so it must've been a deadly IED > I'm best teacher
> be me > 2nd grade teacher > got this one kid, let's call him Mikey > now Mikey has a problem > a daily f------ problem > heshitshimselfeachday.mp3 >I ask him each time if he needs to go and seemingly he just s---- himself whenever he needs to > I've told his mother countless times to fix it, but she's 19 KB PNG done f--- all > she is to blame > lazybitch.jpg > so I thought up a plan > afuckingapexpredatorofaplan.png >i give the kids free milk in the final 15 minutes of school > apart from in Mikeys I put a bit of laxatives > dontworryimadesureitwassafe.wav > so he'd s--- himself at home instead of here >I do this for a few weeks and sometimes lose my own gamble > sometimes I lose sight of why I gave him laxatives when I see it running down the chair > get petty and decided to double the amount > fuckhimandhisfamily.jpg > takes 4 days before he starts asking to go for a s--- > his house must've been f------ plastered for this development > his mother got pink eye so it must've been a deadly IED > I'm best teacher

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)23:23:24 No.872197191 >be me 5.6 skinny long hair bi curious >talking with friend about our jobs >he is a farmer and built like a unit >he makes fun of me and says my job isn't masculine >i make a joke saying that if isn't masculine then how comes he 7 KB JPG cant pick me up >he then proceeds to pick me up with little effort >flash forward a few days latter on my knees in skirt and thigh highs giving him a bj >huh guess that has happened now View Thread
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)23:23:24 No.872197191 >be me 5.6 skinny long hair bi curious >talking with friend about our jobs >he is a farmer and built like a unit >he makes fun of me and says my job isn't masculine >i make a joke saying that if isn't masculine then how comes he 7 KB JPG cant pick me up >he then proceeds to pick me up with little effort >flash forward a few days latter on my knees in skirt and thigh highs giving him a bj >huh guess that has happened now View Thread

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