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Anon gets fired | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49068017 1 h. fa •.. a minecraft kid got me fired >be me 23 >work as a manager at a office in okc >decide to go on mine plex >meet some kids and exchange teamspeak >kid gives me his own server and ask me to help >i dos his minecraft server >he tells his parrents >one day i go to work and i get laid off becuase i was reported for child abuse 1,1 kB PNG REPLY Anonymous | 49068176 1 h. fa •.• >23 >plays minecraft with children Well you see there's your problem.
Anonymous | 49068017 1 h. fa •.. a minecraft kid got me fired >be me 23 >work as a manager at a office in okc >decide to go on mine plex >meet some kids and exchange teamspeak >kid gives me his own server and ask me to help >i dos his minecraft server >he tells his parrents >one day i go to work and i get laid off becuase i was reported for child abuse 1,1 kB PNG REPLY Anonymous | 49068176 1 h. fa •.• >23 >plays minecraft with children Well you see there's your problem.

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Mission failed. We’ll get ‘em next time | /r/Greentext

Max was caught on surveillance video at the library, where he is no longer welcome. 018CCF9B-4CBC-4BFC-8E28-6DE20483533D.jpg 117 KB JPG >>587299278 (OP) # >enemies can spot you on security camera
Max was caught on surveillance video at the library, where he is no longer welcome. 018CCF9B-4CBC-4BFC-8E28-6DE20483533D.jpg 117 KB JPG >>587299278 (OP) # >enemies can spot you on security camera

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Anon finds love. | /r/Greentext

>Be at the library >Chubby girl asks if she can sit next to me >Say yes and we start talking >She blushes often and is awkward so it's obvious she's never been laid or had a boyfriend >We end up exchanging numbers >Fast forward one month and we're texting all the time >One night she tells me shes starting to have feelings for me >Take her out the next night to a five star restaurant >Afterwards we see a movie >She asks if I would like to go back to her place >l say yes and we go >When we get there, she introduces me to her grandmother who she lives with >Frail, 80 year old woman >Poor eyesight, missing teeth and very little hair >After I'm finished being introduced, I turn and look in her eyes and tell her how beautiful she is >She blushes >Take her by the hand and lead her upstairs >Things get steamy fast >Soon we're both undressed going at each other like rabbits in summer >She's ends up sucking my d--- >Best head I've ever had >Eat her p---- to return the favor >We end up f------ each other for hours >69 >Cowgirl >Doggy style >Every position there is >Eventually, we both c-- >Have pillow talk >Smoke some cigarettes together >After a while, she heads to the door >"I have to check on my granddaughter. I think I can hear her crying downstairs." It's nice to be in love.
>Be at the library >Chubby girl asks if she can sit next to me >Say yes and we start talking >She blushes often and is awkward so it's obvious she's never been laid or had a boyfriend >We end up exchanging numbers >Fast forward one month and we're texting all the time >One night she tells me shes starting to have feelings for me >Take her out the next night to a five star restaurant >Afterwards we see a movie >She asks if I would like to go back to her place >l say yes and we go >When we get there, she introduces me to her grandmother who she lives with >Frail, 80 year old woman >Poor eyesight, missing teeth and very little hair >After I'm finished being introduced, I turn and look in her eyes and tell her how beautiful she is >She blushes >Take her by the hand and lead her upstairs >Things get steamy fast >Soon we're both undressed going at each other like rabbits in summer >She's ends up sucking my d--- >Best head I've ever had >Eat her p---- to return the favor >We end up f------ each other for hours >69 >Cowgirl >Doggy style >Every position there is >Eventually, we both c-- >Have pillow talk >Smoke some cigarettes together >After a while, she heads to the door >"I have to check on my granddaughter. I think I can hear her crying downstairs." It's nice to be in love.

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Why, zuck? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (hEtkkpl1 04/11/18(Wed)11:48:39 No.167676599 CAPITOL HILL 4:17 PM ET baseline_way_off.jpg 48 KB JPG >The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that, Mark?
: Anonymous (ID: (hEtkkpl1 04/11/18(Wed)11:48:39 No.167676599 CAPITOL HILL 4:17 PM ET baseline_way_off.jpg 48 KB JPG >The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that, Mark?

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Anon is hella gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)14:38:18 No.48967747 > be me > chilling in living room > Scratch the loving s--- out of my balls > sit there in post-scratch i'm gay 8 KB JPG orgasm > take a rip out of bong > friend and his grill come over > She takes a rip with the same bong > passes it back to me > they leave > 15 mins later beat my meat > Mfw when I realize my hand and her hand touched the same bong > her hands have at some point touched her p--- > My friend f---- her p--- > basically just touched my friends d--- See ya later f------
: Anonymous 10/28/18(Sun)14:38:18 No.48967747 > be me > chilling in living room > Scratch the loving s--- out of my balls > sit there in post-scratch i'm gay 8 KB JPG orgasm > take a rip out of bong > friend and his grill come over > She takes a rip with the same bong > passes it back to me > they leave > 15 mins later beat my meat > Mfw when I realize my hand and her hand touched the same bong > her hands have at some point touched her p--- > My friend f---- her p--- > basically just touched my friends d--- See ya later f------

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Anon is genius | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)12:04:49 No.65524456 I exclusively date women taller than myself, which provides an insane test boost for improved lifting. You anons have to get in on this before everyone else figures it out 48 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)12:06:49 No.65524471 >>65524456 (OP) # >which provides an insane test boost Explain >>65524490 # : Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)12:09:32 No.65524490 >>65524471 # Uh so you lift very heavy, which normally would leave you tired. But then you go home and have and your tall gf embrace you shove your head into her bosoms, which instantly dispels any fatigue, meaning you can lift heavy the next day without any rest days, meaning increased test 21 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)12:04:49 No.65524456 I exclusively date women taller than myself, which provides an insane test boost for improved lifting. You anons have to get in on this before everyone else figures it out 48 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)12:06:49 No.65524471 >>65524456 (OP) # >which provides an insane test boost Explain >>65524490 # : Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)12:09:32 No.65524490 >>65524471 # Uh so you lift very heavy, which normally would leave you tired. But then you go home and have and your tall gf embrace you shove your head into her bosoms, which instantly dispels any fatigue, meaning you can lift heavy the next day without any rest days, meaning increased test 21 KB JPG

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Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/17(Fri)09:06:19 No.748618493 I dip my oreos in water. 57 KB JPG >>748618552 # >>748618565 # >>748618603 # >>748618869 # >>748619818 # : Anonymous 10/20/17(Fri)09:07:13 No.748618552 >>748618493 # Actually reported : Anonymous 10/20/17(Fri)09:07:20 No.748618565 >>748618493 # f--- you
: Anonymous 10/20/17(Fri)09:06:19 No.748618493 I dip my oreos in water. 57 KB JPG >>748618552 # >>748618565 # >>748618603 # >>748618869 # >>748619818 # : Anonymous 10/20/17(Fri)09:07:13 No.748618552 >>748618493 # Actually reported : Anonymous 10/20/17(Fri)09:07:20 No.748618565 >>748618493 # f--- you

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Anon goes to a black school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:13:37 No.49246813 > be asian in a primarily black ENOUGH school >get the occasional "hey ching chong" and the "buk lao" in the hallway >the weaboo tards calls me 7 KB JPG sensei and bows to me in the hallway how to end it all? : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:16:39 No.49246864 : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:17:26 No.49246886 : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:17:30 No.49246888 you wanna kill yourself because cringey white people are making dumb awkward comments? >>49246939 # : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:20:33 No.49246938 : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:20:33 No.49246939 >>49246888 # >primarily black school >white people That aint it chief
: Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:13:37 No.49246813 > be asian in a primarily black ENOUGH school >get the occasional "hey ching chong" and the "buk lao" in the hallway >the weaboo tards calls me 7 KB JPG sensei and bows to me in the hallway how to end it all? : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:16:39 No.49246864 : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:17:26 No.49246886 : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:17:30 No.49246888 you wanna kill yourself because cringey white people are making dumb awkward comments? >>49246939 # : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:20:33 No.49246938 : Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)18:20:33 No.49246939 >>49246888 # >primarily black school >white people That aint it chief

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Anon watched Trump roast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 2Z9|VCHI ) E 02/25/17(Sat)19:28:46 No.114311324 >the dinner starts >various celebrities give speeches roasting the absent Trump >everyone using the opportunity to virtue signal >someone tries to exit the room >find they can't >every exit is locked >suddenly a stern-faced Trump appears on a giant projector screen >"You're all fired." >gas starts being pumped through the vents >>114315914 # >>114317605 #
: Anonymous (ID: 2Z9|VCHI ) E 02/25/17(Sat)19:28:46 No.114311324 >the dinner starts >various celebrities give speeches roasting the absent Trump >everyone using the opportunity to virtue signal >someone tries to exit the room >find they can't >every exit is locked >suddenly a stern-faced Trump appears on a giant projector screen >"You're all fired." >gas starts being pumped through the vents >>114315914 # >>114317605 #

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Finally has a new gadget. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)09:10:56 No.837992032 >Finally get a brand new phone after years >Galaxy S20 Ultra >S--- costed me $1400 >disposableincome.gif >Decide to f--- around on /b/ for s---- and giggles >Haven't been there for a couple 83 KB JPG of months >Decide to start a thread on /g/ about the best new smartphones >Casually mention my new S20 Ultra >Get one reply >Some cousin-f------ junkie from Moldova with a PC older than his broke-ass country >Applefag asks why I didn't buy an iPhone >F----- calls me poor >$1400 just to be called poor by some retard whose grandparents probably starved to death from crop failure in the USSR >mfw
: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)09:10:56 No.837992032 >Finally get a brand new phone after years >Galaxy S20 Ultra >S--- costed me $1400 >disposableincome.gif >Decide to f--- around on /b/ for s---- and giggles >Haven't been there for a couple 83 KB JPG of months >Decide to start a thread on /g/ about the best new smartphones >Casually mention my new S20 Ultra >Get one reply >Some cousin-f------ junkie from Moldova with a PC older than his broke-ass country >Applefag asks why I didn't buy an iPhone >F----- calls me poor >$1400 just to be called poor by some retard whose grandparents probably starved to death from crop failure in the USSR >mfw

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Anon packs meat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/20(Sun)01:46:30 No.824506187 >Be me >19 >work packaging at a meat processing plant >thats right, im a meat packer >put meat in the pockets for sealing >every now and then machine spergs 311 KB PNG out and displays an error >"error #24" "error #11" for example >never see an "error #1" start making jokes like "error #1: d--- caught in machine" >machine has blades to cut packages >one day we are f------ around too much >one guy gets pushed >falls on one of the blades >his face goes white as he gets up >blood all over his stomach and crotch >the machine keeps rolling >before we get a chance to hit the emergency stop we see a bunch of meat chunks roll through >notice the tip of his d--- rolling by >goes through sealer >mfw machine automatically stops >mfw error displayed on screen >mfw "error #1: foreign object in machine"
: Anonymous 04/05/20(Sun)01:46:30 No.824506187 >Be me >19 >work packaging at a meat processing plant >thats right, im a meat packer >put meat in the pockets for sealing >every now and then machine spergs 311 KB PNG out and displays an error >"error #24" "error #11" for example >never see an "error #1" start making jokes like "error #1: d--- caught in machine" >machine has blades to cut packages >one day we are f------ around too much >one guy gets pushed >falls on one of the blades >his face goes white as he gets up >blood all over his stomach and crotch >the machine keeps rolling >before we get a chance to hit the emergency stop we see a bunch of meat chunks roll through >notice the tip of his d--- rolling by >goes through sealer >mfw machine automatically stops >mfw error displayed on screen >mfw "error #1: foreign object in machine"

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Anon hates GTA 5 | /r/Greentext


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murca fuck yhea | /r/Greentext

File: Engineerava.jpg (20 KB, 146x146) Anonymous 01/04/16(Mon)01:46:55 No.661277454 ► ITT: Best online gaming experiences >Playing TF2 >Set my name to President Donald Trump >Join red team >Start talking to the guys on my team >Start saying we need to build a wall to keep the terrorists out >Entire team becomes engineers >We fortify the everloving s--- out of our intel room with sentry guns and dispensers >Entire game I was the top player on my team >Vote kicked a kid on our team who said he was Mexican
File: Engineerava.jpg (20 KB, 146x146) Anonymous 01/04/16(Mon)01:46:55 No.661277454 ► ITT: Best online gaming experiences >Playing TF2 >Set my name to President Donald Trump >Join red team >Start talking to the guys on my team >Start saying we need to build a wall to keep the terrorists out >Entire team becomes engineers >We fortify the everloving s--- out of our intel room with sentry guns and dispensers >Entire game I was the top player on my team >Vote kicked a kid on our team who said he was Mexican

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Anon likes money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)11:48:01 No.67383627 How old are you? How much money do you have? >24 122 KB JPG >$14,000 6 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)11:51:27 No.67383668 >23 >95k from living with parents and saving : Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)11:53:28 No.67383693 >>67383627 (OP) # >20 years old. >around $7, moneymaxxing is not going well lads.
: Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)11:48:01 No.67383627 How old are you? How much money do you have? >24 122 KB JPG >$14,000 6 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)11:51:27 No.67383668 >23 >95k from living with parents and saving : Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)11:53:28 No.67383693 >>67383627 (OP) # >20 years old. >around $7, moneymaxxing is not going well lads.

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Anon questions onions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)20:10:30 No.17415618 >hidden under an ubiquitous piece of grass >smells absolutely rancid >burns your face off for cutting it >pungent acidic taste How the f--- are these so 58 KB JPG unanimously loved? i mean, i like them too, but it just doesn't make sense
: Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)20:10:30 No.17415618 >hidden under an ubiquitous piece of grass >smells absolutely rancid >burns your face off for cutting it >pungent acidic taste How the f--- are these so 58 KB JPG unanimously loved? i mean, i like them too, but it just doesn't make sense

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Anon found out. | /r/Greentext

wren IA222/P4Fol 02/11/22(Fri)09:14:55 No.67382137 I just cheated on my boyfriend. His autism was too much for me. I hope he doesn't find out. 54 KB JPG Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)09:17:02 No.67382163 340 KB PNG >>67382137 (OP) I found out.
wren IA222/P4Fol 02/11/22(Fri)09:14:55 No.67382137 I just cheated on my boyfriend. His autism was too much for me. I hope he doesn't find out. 54 KB JPG Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)09:17:02 No.67382163 340 KB PNG >>67382137 (OP) I found out.

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Anon has a clean dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.767048355 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth >Violent loud sound 45 KB JPG >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say “Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up
: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.767048355 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth >Violent loud sound 45 KB JPG >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say “Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up

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anon is short | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)12:34:36 No.67386260 Dragonatics tumblr_np3ideMbNT1tp8kdpo1_500.gif 795 KB GIF My mom decided to have kids with a 5'7 guy and then marry a 6'3 guy after I was already born, and then has the audacity to say she wants grandkids. YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY YOU STUPID BITCH!
: Anonymous 02/11/22(Fri)12:34:36 No.67386260 Dragonatics tumblr_np3ideMbNT1tp8kdpo1_500.gif 795 KB GIF My mom decided to have kids with a 5'7 guy and then marry a 6'3 guy after I was already born, and then has the audacity to say she wants grandkids. YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY YOU STUPID BITCH!

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Anon hates women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate women 02/11/22(Fri)17:29:17 No.67388393 >older sister calls me >older sister constantly cries about being f----- and dumped by chads on dating apps >younger sister calls me >younger sister constantly vents to me about boys she has a crush on >mom calls me >mom constantly cries to me about my dad >when I tell them "you are being annoying" they start crying harder and blaming me for being a horrible person 115 KB JPG >suddenly I am the bad guy >dad calls me >dad is the only one that asks me how I am doing
: Anonymous I hate women 02/11/22(Fri)17:29:17 No.67388393 >older sister calls me >older sister constantly cries about being f----- and dumped by chads on dating apps >younger sister calls me >younger sister constantly vents to me about boys she has a crush on >mom calls me >mom constantly cries to me about my dad >when I tell them "you are being annoying" they start crying harder and blaming me for being a horrible person 115 KB JPG >suddenly I am the bad guy >dad calls me >dad is the only one that asks me how I am doing

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Anon feigns autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: PN9YpXsp ) 09/05/21(Sun)18:34:47 No.40458494 >>40457457 (OP) # saw a girl last month. she try cancel the date within 1st hour. now she hits me up everyday. and wants me be her "friend" i got her into crypto, and showed her 1 of my stacks. she figured out i made 40 grand this month. now i just send her dinosaur pictures. and tell her im autistic. it's driving her crazy. she tried to f--- me thurs and friday night calling me up giving me the "im lonely.." "my bf.. "i think" isnt paying attention to me.." bitch. have a f------ stegosaurus. have a f------ triceratops.. >>40458543 # >>40458566 # >>40458649 # >>40459728 # >>40460038 # >>40460097 # >>40460234 # >>40460287 # >>40460444 # >>40460529 # >>40460556 # >>40462971 #
: Anonymous (ID: PN9YpXsp ) 09/05/21(Sun)18:34:47 No.40458494 >>40457457 (OP) # saw a girl last month. she try cancel the date within 1st hour. now she hits me up everyday. and wants me be her "friend" i got her into crypto, and showed her 1 of my stacks. she figured out i made 40 grand this month. now i just send her dinosaur pictures. and tell her im autistic. it's driving her crazy. she tried to f--- me thurs and friday night calling me up giving me the "im lonely.." "my bf.. "i think" isnt paying attention to me.." bitch. have a f------ stegosaurus. have a f------ triceratops.. >>40458543 # >>40458566 # >>40458649 # >>40459728 # >>40460038 # >>40460097 # >>40460234 # >>40460287 # >>40460444 # >>40460529 # >>40460556 # >>40462971 #

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