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Anon discusses cannonballs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)14:29:03 No.50279407 R(13).jpg 72 KB JPG >Dude a big ball landing near you somehow causes an explosion and kills you You expect me to believe this s---?
: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)14:29:03 No.50279407 R(13).jpg 72 KB JPG >Dude a big ball landing near you somehow causes an explosion and kills you You expect me to believe this s---?

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Anon has some advice for you. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)21:43:30 No.64778471 Never prepared those myself before. What is the secret to make them tasty? 459 KB JPG 64 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)06:31:17 No.64782935 >>64778471 (OP) # Eat them raw while pretending to be an enormous dinosaur 62 KB JPG devouring tiny trees >>64783160 #
: Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)21:43:30 No.64778471 Never prepared those myself before. What is the secret to make them tasty? 459 KB JPG 64 Replies / 8 Images View Thread : Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)06:31:17 No.64782935 >>64778471 (OP) # Eat them raw while pretending to be an enormous dinosaur 62 KB JPG devouring tiny trees >>64783160 #

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Anons try to predict scenes from the LOTR show | /r/Greentext

>>163536246 (OP). >White male ranger is tracking down a person the group is trying to find - kind of like Aragorn did in the 2 towers movie. >He was established previously as a good tracker and ranger >He's at the end of his ropes and can't follow the tracks >That's when diverse, female character number 4 appears, looks down on the ranger in visible disgust and instantly finds the correct trail, despite not having any previous experience as a tracker. >The whole group is praising her, as they keep walking, past the white male tracker, who looks down on the ground, disappointed in himself From this point on, him trying to track something becomes a running gag throughout the show, because literally everyone else (who is not white) can find what the group is looking for faster than him. >innocent family of black eleven peasants try to ride their cart through the city gate >overweight YT Guard with a southern accent asks for their registration >"you wouldn't be asking me this if I wasn't ELVEN" he declares in an extremely articulate voice >evil guard drags him from his cart and slams him on the ground while several more approach for the racial beating >his proud black lesbian wildcard don't-take-s----from-no-one daughter gets up to save her dad from racism >"no, my daughter! I'll survive this torment just and our ancestors have. We must endure as they did" >wide shot of a crowd of white women turning their heads away in shame His daughters name? Gil-Galad >>163536246 (OP). There will be at least one scene where a male, probably white, will act like a coward and say maybe they should give up or try to run away and a strong BIPOC woman will give a rousing speech that rally everyone to keep fighting. >there is a female wizard >[Insert Name here] the Yellow >she is way more powerful than Gandalf in every conceivable way >it remains unexplained why that is and why she was never mentioned before in the lore >she does sassy one-liners >group of sweaty Dwarf blacksmiths sit around a broken blade >"Our Guild of Smiths tried to reforge the Galdring for a generation and we simply failed, it can't be done..." >woman walks by and says: >"have you tried adding a sprinkle of Mithril during the smelting?" >they Dwarves do a comical head turn >hardcut to the reforged Sword in the hand of its rightful owner >a "clever" one liner about "why not use the eagles?" >>163536246 (OP) >two male knights starting kissing each other after winning a battle
>>163536246 (OP). >White male ranger is tracking down a person the group is trying to find - kind of like Aragorn did in the 2 towers movie. >He was established previously as a good tracker and ranger >He's at the end of his ropes and can't follow the tracks >That's when diverse, female character number 4 appears, looks down on the ranger in visible disgust and instantly finds the correct trail, despite not having any previous experience as a tracker. >The whole group is praising her, as they keep walking, past the white male tracker, who looks down on the ground, disappointed in himself From this point on, him trying to track something becomes a running gag throughout the show, because literally everyone else (who is not white) can find what the group is looking for faster than him. >innocent family of black eleven peasants try to ride their cart through the city gate >overweight YT Guard with a southern accent asks for their registration >"you wouldn't be asking me this if I wasn't ELVEN" he declares in an extremely articulate voice >evil guard drags him from his cart and slams him on the ground while several more approach for the racial beating >his proud black lesbian wildcard don't-take-s----from-no-one daughter gets up to save her dad from racism >"no, my daughter! I'll survive this torment just and our ancestors have. We must endure as they did" >wide shot of a crowd of white women turning their heads away in shame His daughters name? Gil-Galad >>163536246 (OP). There will be at least one scene where a male, probably white, will act like a coward and say maybe they should give up or try to run away and a strong BIPOC woman will give a rousing speech that rally everyone to keep fighting. >there is a female wizard >[Insert Name here] the Yellow >she is way more powerful than Gandalf in every conceivable way >it remains unexplained why that is and why she was never mentioned before in the lore >she does sassy one-liners >group of sweaty Dwarf blacksmiths sit around a broken blade >"Our Guild of Smiths tried to reforge the Galdring for a generation and we simply failed, it can't be done..." >woman walks by and says: >"have you tried adding a sprinkle of Mithril during the smelting?" >they Dwarves do a comical head turn >hardcut to the reforged Sword in the hand of its rightful owner >a "clever" one liner about "why not use the eagles?" >>163536246 (OP) >two male knights starting kissing each other after winning a battle

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Anon Buys a Pack of Garloids | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)20:02:27 No.872619718 ВАBY HOG SMELL GARLOIDS NEW WATERING NSTRUCTIONG HIDEOUS-SCREECHING YELLOW MIST gaurenteed 14G wild flaling NO GLUTEN CAUTON MAY CAUS DISTENTA ANGSH BEST BY20/69 MTWLH e UPE- BabyGarloidDub.png 584 KB PNG Hey /b/. I've bought baby garloids, i've been thinking about raising all 3 differently. I'll raise one with regular mineral water, coat the second one in powdered sugar and bathe it in milk, and it might be illegal to do this in the commision's eyes but i'll bloodfeed the 3rd one. Heard from a friend that bloodfeeding makes garloids HUGE. If you have any tips on how i can raise them more effectively please tell me. : Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)20:06:49 No.872619934 W-- are garloids
: Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)20:02:27 No.872619718 ВАBY HOG SMELL GARLOIDS NEW WATERING NSTRUCTIONG HIDEOUS-SCREECHING YELLOW MIST gaurenteed 14G wild flaling NO GLUTEN CAUTON MAY CAUS DISTENTA ANGSH BEST BY20/69 MTWLH e UPE- BabyGarloidDub.png 584 KB PNG Hey /b/. I've bought baby garloids, i've been thinking about raising all 3 differently. I'll raise one with regular mineral water, coat the second one in powdered sugar and bathe it in milk, and it might be illegal to do this in the commision's eyes but i'll bloodfeed the 3rd one. Heard from a friend that bloodfeeding makes garloids HUGE. If you have any tips on how i can raise them more effectively please tell me. : Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)20:06:49 No.872619934 W-- are garloids

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Anon knew a hidden monster | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)07:43:11 No.872664109 >be me, average smoe in an apartment complex >extremely excited for elden ring >open the mail. >jury duty. f------ jury duty. i thought it was a meme. 167 KB PNG >go there on the time it says >notice my neighbor is there as well >discussing how much this sucks that we have to do, talking about ways to get out of it >i tell him how we just have to explain that we are not comfortable making judgement on someone >he doesn't believe me >starts telling me about how he's gonna pretend to be racist >"no dude you don't have to do that. just say you can't do it" >he literally just doesn't f------ believe me >walks in, tells them about how he hates black people and starts going on a rant about his plans to bomb a black church nearby >f------ retard. >obviously they flag him for bomb threat and his place is searched >they find CP on his computer (according to his girlfriend) >haven't seen him since (idk how to check if someone is in jail or whatever) what a f------ idiot. glad i wasn't his friend.
: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)07:43:11 No.872664109 >be me, average smoe in an apartment complex >extremely excited for elden ring >open the mail. >jury duty. f------ jury duty. i thought it was a meme. 167 KB PNG >go there on the time it says >notice my neighbor is there as well >discussing how much this sucks that we have to do, talking about ways to get out of it >i tell him how we just have to explain that we are not comfortable making judgement on someone >he doesn't believe me >starts telling me about how he's gonna pretend to be racist >"no dude you don't have to do that. just say you can't do it" >he literally just doesn't f------ believe me >walks in, tells them about how he hates black people and starts going on a rant about his plans to bomb a black church nearby >f------ retard. >obviously they flag him for bomb threat and his place is searched >they find CP on his computer (according to his girlfriend) >haven't seen him since (idk how to check if someone is in jail or whatever) what a f------ idiot. glad i wasn't his friend.

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Top fucking kek | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)19:52:58 No.163841156 >2022 >no more gay joke, fat joke, black people joke 136 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)19:54:27 No.163841195 >A gay, a fat, and a black walks into a bar >the bartender turns and says "Hi, OP!" >>163841371 # >>163841815 # >>163842163 # >>163842333 # >>163842466 # >>163844282 # >>163844378 # >>163844533 # >>163844832 # >>163845190 #
: Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)19:52:58 No.163841156 >2022 >no more gay joke, fat joke, black people joke 136 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)19:54:27 No.163841195 >A gay, a fat, and a black walks into a bar >the bartender turns and says "Hi, OP!" >>163841371 # >>163841815 # >>163842163 # >>163842333 # >>163842466 # >>163844282 # >>163844378 # >>163844533 # >>163844832 # >>163845190 #

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Dog ate sons homework | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)12:47:42 No.67420527 >dog ate son's homework >teacher sends him to detention anyway >apparently the video I took of me feeding his homework to a dog because drunk me thought it was funny 153 KB JPG somehow doesn't count as evidence >plus, we don't know who's dog this is View Thread
: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)12:47:42 No.67420527 >dog ate son's homework >teacher sends him to detention anyway >apparently the video I took of me feeding his homework to a dog because drunk me thought it was funny 153 KB JPG somehow doesn't count as evidence >plus, we don't know who's dog this is View Thread

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Anon hates Elon Musk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)12:32:57 No.872670361 >tortured and killed 15 monkeys with diabolical brain chips >couldn't make Roadster (a car) >couldn't make Cybertruck (an ugly car) >couldn't make Loop (a tunnel, literally) 156 KB JPG >currently trashing Earth orbit with Starlink >thinks wasting nuclear power by nuking Mars is a good idea You guys sure this is real life Tony Stark?
: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)12:32:57 No.872670361 >tortured and killed 15 monkeys with diabolical brain chips >couldn't make Roadster (a car) >couldn't make Cybertruck (an ugly car) >couldn't make Loop (a tunnel, literally) 156 KB JPG >currently trashing Earth orbit with Starlink >thinks wasting nuclear power by nuking Mars is a good idea You guys sure this is real life Tony Stark?

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Anon compares | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/07/22(Fri)00:36:06 No.66879370 girls be like >im bi because i kissed my friend once after i drank 11 margaritas dudes be like >yeah i sucked a c--- once but im 100% straight because he was wearing a dress 148 KB PNG
: Anonymous 01/07/22(Fri)00:36:06 No.66879370 girls be like >im bi because i kissed my friend once after i drank 11 margaritas dudes be like >yeah i sucked a c--- once but im 100% straight because he was wearing a dress 148 KB PNG

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Anon likes the simpsons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)12:50:04 No.872662719 niggersons.jpg 42 KB JPG >be me >be black >like the Simpsons >everyone yellow >get drawn in the simpsons style >still black >mfw still black
: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)12:50:04 No.872662719 niggersons.jpg 42 KB JPG >be me >be black >like the Simpsons >everyone yellow >get drawn in the simpsons style >still black >mfw still black

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Anon is a hacker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/19(Thu)06:37:54 No.80937300S How I almost hacked borderlands 3 preload > be me > have bl3 pre loaded on console > day before launch, cant sleep .can't wait 346 KB JPG Geniusidea.exe > spring out of bed > grab controller > manually roll forward date on console to 9/13 BI3.exe > still won't start Almost famous
: Anonymous 09/12/19(Thu)06:37:54 No.80937300S How I almost hacked borderlands 3 preload > be me > have bl3 pre loaded on console > day before launch, cant sleep .can't wait 346 KB JPG Geniusidea.exe > spring out of bed > grab controller > manually roll forward date on console to 9/13 BI3.exe > still won't start Almost famous

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Anon discovers american history | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)08:04:32 No.67418563 口D -----=-jpg| 753 KB JPG When Americans start screeching about "Muh Tinananmen Square" show them this picture and ask them if they know what this is. 99% chance they won't know 34 Replies / 7 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)08:04:32 No.67418563 口D -----=-jpg| 753 KB JPG When Americans start screeching about "Muh Tinananmen Square" show them this picture and ask them if they know what this is. 99% chance they won't know 34 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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Anon's fate is sealed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)22:28:42 No.67412017 >befriend girl, ask her out PAIN >"sorry anon, you're nice but I'm not into you, lets be friends" >befriend another girl, ask her out >"sorry anon, I have a boyfriend" >befriend another girl, ask her out >"sorry anon, I'm not really interested" (also she immediately leaves the 63 KB JPG country) >new year new me, I'm gonna work things out >befriend another girl, meet up over new year, get involved with her friend group, ask her out >"sorry anon l'm gay" The only person to ever kiss me was my gay childhood friend
: Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)22:28:42 No.67412017 >befriend girl, ask her out PAIN >"sorry anon, you're nice but I'm not into you, lets be friends" >befriend another girl, ask her out >"sorry anon, I have a boyfriend" >befriend another girl, ask her out >"sorry anon, I'm not really interested" (also she immediately leaves the 63 KB JPG country) >new year new me, I'm gonna work things out >befriend another girl, meet up over new year, get involved with her friend group, ask her out >"sorry anon l'm gay" The only person to ever kiss me was my gay childhood friend

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I think this is appropriate | /r/Greentext

>>6214437 (OP) >Eating sandwich at beach >Skipping stones >Watching the sunset and thinking about life >Throw sandwich into ocean >Bite rock people saw one time i saw someone skipping rocks and eating a sandwich along the beach and idk he just tossed his sandwich in the water and bit the rock and he just stiffened a bit but i sawhim dying inside after realizing what had just happened 354,984 notes What is this, a crossover episode?
>>6214437 (OP) >Eating sandwich at beach >Skipping stones >Watching the sunset and thinking about life >Throw sandwich into ocean >Bite rock people saw one time i saw someone skipping rocks and eating a sandwich along the beach and idk he just tossed his sandwich in the water and bit the rock and he just stiffened a bit but i sawhim dying inside after realizing what had just happened 354,984 notes What is this, a crossover episode?

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Anons flex his slaviness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/17(Mon)17:52:54 No.74313106 >bawww Slavs are being racis! WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT F----- KURWA? >muh white privile- I'M A SLAV BITCH, THAT S--- DON'T WORK ON ME >muh coloniza- 896 KB PNG I'M A SLAV BITCH, NEVER HAD THE OPPORTUNITY OR MONEY TO COLONIZE YOUR SHITSKIN CONTINENT >muh black slaver- I'M A SLAV BITCH, LOOK AT THE NAME, AND THEN LOOK AT MY FIST GOING INTO YOUR FACE >y-y-you'll go to priso- I ALREADY LIVE IN ONE >>74313147 # >>74313162 # >>74313431 # >>74313786 # >>74316878 # >>74317656 # >>74317882 # >>74317945 # >>74318262 # : Anonymous E 02/20/17(Mon)17:56:06 No.74313147 >>74313106 # w-- i love slavs now
: Anonymous 02/20/17(Mon)17:52:54 No.74313106 >bawww Slavs are being racis! WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT F----- KURWA? >muh white privile- I'M A SLAV BITCH, THAT S--- DON'T WORK ON ME >muh coloniza- 896 KB PNG I'M A SLAV BITCH, NEVER HAD THE OPPORTUNITY OR MONEY TO COLONIZE YOUR SHITSKIN CONTINENT >muh black slaver- I'M A SLAV BITCH, LOOK AT THE NAME, AND THEN LOOK AT MY FIST GOING INTO YOUR FACE >y-y-you'll go to priso- I ALREADY LIVE IN ONE >>74313147 # >>74313162 # >>74313431 # >>74313786 # >>74316878 # >>74317656 # >>74317882 # >>74317945 # >>74318262 # : Anonymous E 02/20/17(Mon)17:56:06 No.74313147 >>74313106 # w-- i love slavs now

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Anon talks to his neighbor’s cat | /r/Greentext

女 如 B6FOED22-1851-4A0C-921E-FFF2E8DBC242.png 238 KB PNG >walking down sidewalk >cat in neighbors window >meow at it >it meows back >12:45 AM >still happy about it How was your day anons
女 如 B6FOED22-1851-4A0C-921E-FFF2E8DBC242.png 238 KB PNG >walking down sidewalk >cat in neighbors window >meow at it >it meows back >12:45 AM >still happy about it How was your day anons

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Anon is cute and valid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: N2AX/JLi ) 02/13/22(Sun)11:00:26 No.360962694 You get to travel back in time to meet your past self at 12 years old. You've only got 10 minutes. KAN WATTE 390 KB JPG What do you do/say? : Anonymous (ID: aseRcWCU )E 02/13/22(Sun)11:01:11 No.360962752 >>360962694 (OP) # bite the pillow, i'm going in dry >360963038 # >>360963309 # >>360963323 # >>360963481 # >>360964579 #
: Anonymous (ID: N2AX/JLi ) 02/13/22(Sun)11:00:26 No.360962694 You get to travel back in time to meet your past self at 12 years old. You've only got 10 minutes. KAN WATTE 390 KB JPG What do you do/say? : Anonymous (ID: aseRcWCU )E 02/13/22(Sun)11:01:11 No.360962752 >>360962694 (OP) # bite the pillow, i'm going in dry >360963038 # >>360963309 # >>360963323 # >>360963481 # >>360964579 #

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Anon uses Tinder. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)10:00:00 No.67408483 >Set up my profile, I think I look alright, let's go >Oh wow, there's a lot of cute girls on here >*right swipe, right swipe, right swipe* >See on profile, "Must be 6ft or taller" >Oh no worries, some people have preferences (I was wrong, it's the standard) >two days later finally get a match >"Hey, how are you doing?" >Turns out to be a bot >10 days later, you have six matches, four of them bots, one is a h----- and another just wanted you to follow her Instagram >You begin to wonder what's wrong with your profile >Go online and see blogs/articles on how to take better pictures/have a good bio, all of that >None of it makes a difference >Go online and see other guys doing just fine >Realize that all the guys doing fine are tall, white guys >Delete Tinder, never get it again.
Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)10:00:00 No.67408483 >Set up my profile, I think I look alright, let's go >Oh wow, there's a lot of cute girls on here >*right swipe, right swipe, right swipe* >See on profile, "Must be 6ft or taller" >Oh no worries, some people have preferences (I was wrong, it's the standard) >two days later finally get a match >"Hey, how are you doing?" >Turns out to be a bot >10 days later, you have six matches, four of them bots, one is a h----- and another just wanted you to follow her Instagram >You begin to wonder what's wrong with your profile >Go online and see blogs/articles on how to take better pictures/have a good bio, all of that >None of it makes a difference >Go online and see other guys doing just fine >Realize that all the guys doing fine are tall, white guys >Delete Tinder, never get it again.

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anon is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)22:46:48 No.872646578 What's the most controversial opinion you have >Convicted r----- should be neutered 866 KB GIF
: Anonymous 02/13/22(Sun)22:46:48 No.872646578 What's the most controversial opinion you have >Convicted r----- should be neutered 866 KB GIF

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Anon went to the zoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/21(Sat)21:22:46 No.844438848 >at the zoO >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins >guy in the background screams 244 KB PNG "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zoo >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling View Thread
: Anonymous 01/09/21(Sat)21:22:46 No.844438848 >at the zoO >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins >guy in the background screams 244 KB PNG "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zoo >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling View Thread

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