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anon is jumping on his bed | /r/Greentext


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Anon lives in Ancient Rome | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/02/14(Sun)17:01:14 No.14420360 classic feels thread >be 44 in ancient rome >strolling through the forvm >see 8/10 nvbile yovng greek boy >phallvs_erectvs.mosaic 82 KB JPG >walk up to him >my jvpiters, his eyes are so perfect, his body so mvscular >"s... s... salve..." >8/10 tvrns to me and smiles >pastae spills ovt my toga >sprint home to villa >tfw no young bf
Anonymous 11/02/14(Sun)17:01:14 No.14420360 classic feels thread >be 44 in ancient rome >strolling through the forvm >see 8/10 nvbile yovng greek boy >phallvs_erectvs.mosaic 82 KB JPG >walk up to him >my jvpiters, his eyes are so perfect, his body so mvscular >"s... s... salve..." >8/10 tvrns to me and smiles >pastae spills ovt my toga >sprint home to villa >tfw no young bf

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Teacher exposes anons banana | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:56:15 No.754124819 > Back in 1th grade > Teacher ask to write my name > Draw a banana > Gets a F and public exposure I hate my life 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:58:23 No.754125046 >1th You deserve what you got op
: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:56:15 No.754124819 > Back in 1th grade > Teacher ask to write my name > Draw a banana > Gets a F and public exposure I hate my life 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)21:58:23 No.754125046 >1th You deserve what you got op

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Anon has a paradox | /r/Greentext


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Anons get caught | /r/Greentext


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True Alpha | /r/Greentext


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Moe gives feedback to random guy’s story | /r/Greentext

I had a dream where I straight up pushed a guy off the roof of a building on impulse and then quickly ran inside. It took a couple seconds of autopiloting before I realized that I just murdered someone and then started freaking out. I joined the crowd of people at the base of the building and they were all crying because they "had no idea he was suicidal", and my heart just kept thumping out of my chest. It 133 KB JPG felt so f------ real, what does it mean? E Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:06:04 No.82162059 moe
I had a dream where I straight up pushed a guy off the roof of a building on impulse and then quickly ran inside. It took a couple seconds of autopiloting before I realized that I just murdered someone and then started freaking out. I joined the crowd of people at the base of the building and they were all crying because they "had no idea he was suicidal", and my heart just kept thumping out of my chest. It 133 KB JPG felt so f------ real, what does it mean? E Anonymous 02/27/20(Thu)13:06:04 No.82162059 moe

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Anon is a literal bus wanker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)15:46:26 No.873045574 >l have quite an unorthodox fetish >l'm turned on by hot girls taking the public bus >I'm especially aroused when they have to for whatever reason, alamy especially financial >The s------- the bus the better, coaches, for example don't really 106 KB JPG do it for me >l'm at a semi when I see them waiting at the bus stop >I'm fully hard when I see them using their Oyster card or paying the bus fare with coins >I literally c-- in my pants when I see them sit in one of the s----- plastic chairs >Most guys have a p--- collection, I have a folder of scenes from movies and TV shows of girls being forced to take the bus and stock images of hot models on a bus, pic related >A personal favourite is in Season 2 of 24, Kim Bauer has to take the bus to escape an abusive employer >Another is a Dior advert where Natalie Portman is on a bus >One time I was trying to do No Nut November, I got through half the month, then in class a girl who I had a crush on anyway said how a public bus was late that day >I literally came a massive load in my pants right there. I had to go to the toilets and went commando for the rest of the day >lf I was ever in a kinky relationship, my ideal thing would be to have my girl on a bus with me driving along and watching while jacking off >l don't get aroused for some reason when I'm also on the bus >TLDR, I'm into girls on buses
: Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)15:46:26 No.873045574 >l have quite an unorthodox fetish >l'm turned on by hot girls taking the public bus >I'm especially aroused when they have to for whatever reason, alamy especially financial >The s------- the bus the better, coaches, for example don't really 106 KB JPG do it for me >l'm at a semi when I see them waiting at the bus stop >I'm fully hard when I see them using their Oyster card or paying the bus fare with coins >I literally c-- in my pants when I see them sit in one of the s----- plastic chairs >Most guys have a p--- collection, I have a folder of scenes from movies and TV shows of girls being forced to take the bus and stock images of hot models on a bus, pic related >A personal favourite is in Season 2 of 24, Kim Bauer has to take the bus to escape an abusive employer >Another is a Dior advert where Natalie Portman is on a bus >One time I was trying to do No Nut November, I got through half the month, then in class a girl who I had a crush on anyway said how a public bus was late that day >I literally came a massive load in my pants right there. I had to go to the toilets and went commando for the rest of the day >lf I was ever in a kinky relationship, my ideal thing would be to have my girl on a bus with me driving along and watching while jacking off >l don't get aroused for some reason when I'm also on the bus >TLDR, I'm into girls on buses

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Anon tells a story | /r/Greentext

6h (2/20 10:49) · 589435945 PNG · 326KB (798 × 470) 2 Replies F--- it might as well post a story in here. >Bought a Hori fightstick in 2016 >Hori's own website says the stick works on PS3/PS4 and PC >lt gets delivered to my doorstep some days later >Plug it into my PC >Nothing is registering >w--.jpg >Go to Hori's FAQ section >Apparently there is an error that can occur if you plug the stick into a PC before ever plugging it into a PC that can cause the firmware to brick >I start to seeth because the stick cost like 200EU >Unload all of my Googlefu into my browser in shear anger not expecting anything >Suddenly find steam forum thread >Literally 1(Uno(ONE)) other guy in the world has this problem >Look at the comment section >5 replies >Welp at least i tried. >One of the replies is some uber tech guru that actually took the time to make a custom program for that one specific stick >Nofuckingway.jpg >Plug my stick into my PC and run the program >ltjustworks.jpg >BASED F------ GUY >Thank him 500 times and save the link to his github with all the other s--- he has made page >Today >About to buy a new stick >Just to be sure i pull up the guys github page again to find the program >First comment on the page replies tells me he is f------ dead. R.I.P random guy that saved my wallet and my hairline.
6h (2/20 10:49) · 589435945 PNG · 326KB (798 × 470) 2 Replies F--- it might as well post a story in here. >Bought a Hori fightstick in 2016 >Hori's own website says the stick works on PS3/PS4 and PC >lt gets delivered to my doorstep some days later >Plug it into my PC >Nothing is registering >w--.jpg >Go to Hori's FAQ section >Apparently there is an error that can occur if you plug the stick into a PC before ever plugging it into a PC that can cause the firmware to brick >I start to seeth because the stick cost like 200EU >Unload all of my Googlefu into my browser in shear anger not expecting anything >Suddenly find steam forum thread >Literally 1(Uno(ONE)) other guy in the world has this problem >Look at the comment section >5 replies >Welp at least i tried. >One of the replies is some uber tech guru that actually took the time to make a custom program for that one specific stick >Nofuckingway.jpg >Plug my stick into my PC and run the program >ltjustworks.jpg >BASED F------ GUY >Thank him 500 times and save the link to his github with all the other s--- he has made page >Today >About to buy a new stick >Just to be sure i pull up the guys github page again to find the program >First comment on the page replies tells me he is f------ dead. R.I.P random guy that saved my wallet and my hairline.

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Anon transcends autism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous |67512938 27 min. ago •.. Can't believe I lost my virginity this way >be me >retarded autistic 20 year old anon >only redeeming quality is that I'm somewhat attractive 45.7 kB JPG >go on tinder >get matches, but I usually sperg out anyway >get matched with this girl who goes to my uni >she finds my autism cute >"hey anon, wanna watch a movie together" >l agree and she invites me over to her place >"Anon... what movie should we watch ;)" >thinking.gif >"L-let's watch Fight Club" >We unironically watch f------ Fight Club >We didnt talk much during the movie but we still talked >After the movie was over I went on a rant about how the movie was about capitalism and consumerism >She unironically listened to me autistically rambling about this f------ movie >Realized l've been talking too much >Stop talking about the movie and abruptly call her cute >"If you find me cute prove it" >l go in for a kiss >lt escalates from there to actual f------ sex how 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous |67512938 27 min. ago •.. Can't believe I lost my virginity this way >be me >retarded autistic 20 year old anon >only redeeming quality is that I'm somewhat attractive 45.7 kB JPG >go on tinder >get matches, but I usually sperg out anyway >get matched with this girl who goes to my uni >she finds my autism cute >"hey anon, wanna watch a movie together" >l agree and she invites me over to her place >"Anon... what movie should we watch ;)" >thinking.gif >"L-let's watch Fight Club" >We unironically watch f------ Fight Club >We didnt talk much during the movie but we still talked >After the movie was over I went on a rant about how the movie was about capitalism and consumerism >She unironically listened to me autistically rambling about this f------ movie >Realized l've been talking too much >Stop talking about the movie and abruptly call her cute >"If you find me cute prove it" >l go in for a kiss >lt escalates from there to actual f------ sex how 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon must make a difficult choice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)10:56:30 No.67506480 >Anon, that anime sounds really great and all but right now I want you take me back to the room and f--- my brains out how respond? 79 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)10:56:30 No.67506480 >Anon, that anime sounds really great and all but right now I want you take me back to the room and f--- my brains out how respond? 79 KB JPG 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon is mad | /r/Greentext


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Kid annon hiding from his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/13/18(Tue)01:38:06 No.784696530 >be dumb kid >sister is chasing me and being annoying >I hide behind bed in my parents room >BIG BLACK F------ DILDO W-- >dumb kid so don't know what it is >just know it's big and heavy and I can hit my sister with it >she comes it room >l jump out from behind bed, holding my newfound weapon with both hands >swing like the force of an angry god >strike sister in face hard with big black balls right in her dumb face >sister runs out crying with bloody nose >tells my mom >mom embarrassed as all hell >dad can not stop laughing >mom only tells me that's not a toy and don't touch it >dad is in f------ tears laughing so hard >don't even get in trouble for clocking my sister in the face >I stand the victor Don't know how I feel about knowing I've touched something my mom had in her vagina. But by that logic, I touch myself all the time, so whatever.
: Anonymous 11/13/18(Tue)01:38:06 No.784696530 >be dumb kid >sister is chasing me and being annoying >I hide behind bed in my parents room >BIG BLACK F------ DILDO W-- >dumb kid so don't know what it is >just know it's big and heavy and I can hit my sister with it >she comes it room >l jump out from behind bed, holding my newfound weapon with both hands >swing like the force of an angry god >strike sister in face hard with big black balls right in her dumb face >sister runs out crying with bloody nose >tells my mom >mom embarrassed as all hell >dad can not stop laughing >mom only tells me that's not a toy and don't touch it >dad is in f------ tears laughing so hard >don't even get in trouble for clocking my sister in the face >I stand the victor Don't know how I feel about knowing I've touched something my mom had in her vagina. But by that logic, I touch myself all the time, so whatever.

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Anon sees his chance and takes it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)08:19:24 No.62989509 OFF'ing myself right now. Goodbye 4chan. >broke uni student >mother is meth head >dad is p--- >snooped through my younger sisters internet history and found t----- p--- 985 KB JPG >gf left me just 1 week ago >been drinking nonstop >grades are collapsing Thank you all for the amazing memories, I've treasured them. And thank you for always being my favorite board. 23 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)10:44:21 No.62990863 Bro I feel you... Could you maybe help a bro out and buy me gta3 on steam? I know you won't be needing that money after you die right?
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)08:19:24 No.62989509 OFF'ing myself right now. Goodbye 4chan. >broke uni student >mother is meth head >dad is p--- >snooped through my younger sisters internet history and found t----- p--- 985 KB JPG >gf left me just 1 week ago >been drinking nonstop >grades are collapsing Thank you all for the amazing memories, I've treasured them. And thank you for always being my favorite board. 23 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)10:44:21 No.62990863 Bro I feel you... Could you maybe help a bro out and buy me gta3 on steam? I know you won't be needing that money after you die right?

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anon is spider-man fan | /r/Greentext

NEAT 1. #103618555 10/17/18, 5:00 PM >mfw I realize all of Spider-Man's enemies are modeled after the spider's natural predators 9 REPLIES 2 #103618579 10/17/18 5:01 PM >>103618555 OP How is an octopus a natural predator for spiders? 2 REPLIES 3 #103618601 10/17/18 5:02 PM >>103618555 OP Rhino, alien symbiote, electricity, etc.... seems legit. 2 REPLIES 4 #103618607 10/17/18 5:03 PM >>103618555 OP Ah yes, the greatest of the natural predators, the goblin.
NEAT 1. #103618555 10/17/18, 5:00 PM >mfw I realize all of Spider-Man's enemies are modeled after the spider's natural predators 9 REPLIES 2 #103618579 10/17/18 5:01 PM >>103618555 OP How is an octopus a natural predator for spiders? 2 REPLIES 3 #103618601 10/17/18 5:02 PM >>103618555 OP Rhino, alien symbiote, electricity, etc.... seems legit. 2 REPLIES 4 #103618607 10/17/18 5:03 PM >>103618555 OP Ah yes, the greatest of the natural predators, the goblin.

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Resigned to our fate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)08:26:55 No.67505120 >You are not ENTITLED to anything, you DESERVE nothing, and don't expect ANYTHING AT ALL >What the f---? What do you mean you don't want to work? Who is going to keep society running? Who will work to provide 119 KB JPG my Social Security checks?
: Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)08:26:55 No.67505120 >You are not ENTITLED to anything, you DESERVE nothing, and don't expect ANYTHING AT ALL >What the f---? What do you mean you don't want to work? Who is going to keep society running? Who will work to provide 119 KB JPG my Social Security checks?

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Anon buys spinach | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)23:06:28 No.8666680 363 KB JPG Bought baby spinach for the first time. About 70% of the leaves felt like rubber. Why did they feel like rubber? Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)23:15:29 No.8666720 >>8666680 (OP) >he fell for the rubber spinach Oldest trick in the book.
Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)23:06:28 No.8666680 363 KB JPG Bought baby spinach for the first time. About 70% of the leaves felt like rubber. Why did they feel like rubber? Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)23:15:29 No.8666720 >>8666680 (OP) >he fell for the rubber spinach Oldest trick in the book.

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Anon is French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)17:44:29 No.872999732 >be me >french >every single person on the internet hates us for seemingly no reason /b/ can you explain I dont get it 185 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)17:46:15 No.872999842 >>872999732 (OP) # >french : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)17:47:41 No.872999911 >>872999732 (OP) # >implying being french isn't reason enough
: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)17:44:29 No.872999732 >be me >french >every single person on the internet hates us for seemingly no reason /b/ can you explain I dont get it 185 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)17:46:15 No.872999842 >>872999732 (OP) # >french : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)17:47:41 No.872999911 >>872999732 (OP) # >implying being french isn't reason enough

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anon is a schizo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)02:32:46 No.67290413 >at gfs house >casually binging youtube while she takes a shower >she asks me to give her a new bath towel >open the door to give her the towel 215 KB GIF >shes not there >the shower isnt even on >take a moment to process >im in someone's house >last time I talked to anyone was 10 yrs ago >never had a GF (29) >the walls are turning to white >a straight jacket is wrapped around me >im a the psych ward >mfw I trolled myself again by taking the meds
: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)02:32:46 No.67290413 >at gfs house >casually binging youtube while she takes a shower >she asks me to give her a new bath towel >open the door to give her the towel 215 KB GIF >shes not there >the shower isnt even on >take a moment to process >im in someone's house >last time I talked to anyone was 10 yrs ago >never had a GF (29) >the walls are turning to white >a straight jacket is wrapped around me >im a the psych ward >mfw I trolled myself again by taking the meds

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No more monkeys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)23:38:26 No.67501076 >be me 5 years ago >buying a bed at store >store owner asks whats wrong with the old one >told her I was jumping on the bed 40 KB JPG >she gets flustered and changes the subject >just now realised "jumping on the bed" is a euphemism for sex >she thought i was having sex >was actually just jumping on the bed
: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)23:38:26 No.67501076 >be me 5 years ago >buying a bed at store >store owner asks whats wrong with the old one >told her I was jumping on the bed 40 KB JPG >she gets flustered and changes the subject >just now realised "jumping on the bed" is a euphemism for sex >she thought i was having sex >was actually just jumping on the bed

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